#maybe i am allowed to think abt him awkwardly patting me on the head. as a treat

[fidgemimic]

betaadmin replied to your post: my brain over here thinkin abt jester getting a...

hey fidge WHY you gotta do this to me

because im sad abt this CONSTANTLY and i love it

he does borrow it eventually. either bc he asks jester, or she assumes he’d want to read it as well. but having it on his person feels like carrying a massive stone, and he’s almost terrified to open the cover and begin reading it.

beau gives him strange looks when he catches him not 40 pages in by the second day. he doesn’t notice - trying to keep his eyes on the words while frumkin digs his claws into caleb’s shoulders and purrs loudly. it helps keep away the foggy memories trying to creep through and pull him away from what’s in front of him. it works most times, but it only gets harder as he goes on.

he gets lost once - reaching a scene where the children, now teenagers, dance together in an empty house where no one can hear them. holding each other and laughing and feeling so, so happy and safe for reasons that they haven’t quite got an understanding of yet.

it had been late - two and a half hours past midnight - and they had been left in the cottage alone. master ikithon had been called on business in Rexxentrum, and had decided that the three of them would be left alone to study on their own. he would test them upon his return to ensure they had been working.

but until then, they were alone.

they had pushed the heavy furniture out of the center of the small bedroom - leaving a small clearing with just enough space for the three of them to practice dancing, trading off with each other in smooth, fluid movements. he can feel their hands still. astrid’s body in front of him, radiating warmth as she places a hand at his hip and entwines their fingers a bit too tightly. he welcomes the pressure - finds it calming - and has to resist the urge to pull her close just to prove they’re really here. eodwulf takes her place once they trade off, towering over bren by a good couple of inches as he places a hand on bren’s shoulder. his fingers always feel too cold, and bren carefully rubs his thumb over his knuckles hoping they warm.

they’re so different from each other and yet so utterly amazing in their own right. he thinks he loves them, but he can never bring himself to say it. but this is good as it is. together, safe, alone. laughing at each poorly placed step and half-whispered joke they say in the dark of this bedroom. his heart feels so full he thinks it might burst, but instead he laughs and leans into one of them, tears coming unbidden as the emotions become overwhelming-

a heavy hand on his shoulder pulls him back. his head feels stuffed with cotton, tight and unfocused. he blinks rapidly for a moment, but the tears in his eyes don’t clear, even as they roll down his face. the hand squeezes, and he looks over to see the blurry shape of beau sitting next to him.

“Hey, put that away for a minute, ok?” she says, vaguely motioning towards the book in his lap. caleb takes a shaking breath and complies. he will find his place later, if needed, though he didn’t look at the page number that he had been on. “You ok, man?”

He opens his mouth to speak, closes it and clears his throat when he notes how tight it feels. Looks to the stained wood of the table in front of him. “Ja. I am.. fine.”

She’s quiet for a beat, and he doesn’t dare look up - instead focused on reaching up to try and subtly wipe the tears from his eyes.

he watches as she reaches out and places a hand on the book in front of him.

“Maybe you should give this back to Jester. It looks like it’s not really doing you any good.”

“I.. I would like to finish it at the very least.”

he hears her sigh in annoyance. “You can finish it later. Like when you aren’t in the kind of mood where you’re going to keep doing that.. thing,” he sees movement out of the corner of his eye as beauregard waves a hand around her own head, “but I just saw you spacing out and crying in the middle of the tavern. You haven’t been reading this.”

“I have.” he mutters, a small bit of annoyance creeping into his own voice. “I am just... remembering.”

“Yea, but are they good memories?”

“Yes.” and that stops her. he looks back up, eyes meeting hers, and he can see the creeping hint of skepticism in the way her eyebrows are cocked. he can feel a horrible part of him, desperate for things he doesn’t deserve, begging. “Beauregard, these are some of the best memories that I have," his voice breaks terribly, and beau startles. his vision is blurring again, but he feels too stubborn in this moment to break eye contact to wipe them again. “I am asking you to let me have this. I will return the book when I am done, but just let me have this for a few more days.”

“fuckin.... fine.” she reaches up to scrub at her face and groan. the second her hand is gone from the book, he grips it close to his chest before he has a moment to even think about the action. a single finger reaches out to poke him harshly in the shoulder. “but listen - if you start actin fuckin weird and shit, or i have any reason to think that this is fucking you up worse than normal, i’m taking it. understand?”

“Ja - got it.”

“Cool. You have 3 more days.”

“Danke.”

she sits back in her seat, her gaze lingering on him for just a second before she brings up her ale to take a drink. caleb rests the book in his lap - content to be done reading for the time being. his head still feels foggy, his eyes wet and tired. he’s not sure if the book is doing anything good for him at all, honestly, but he can’t bring himself to leave it just yet. at the very least, beau allows a moment of silence between them, though he can see her fidgeting. the conversation isn’t finished yet, and watching her attempt to give him a second to recollect himself is almost as heart warming as it is utterly annoying.

“Do you have a question, Beauregard?”

she shoots him a half glare, but still attempts to act nonchalant.

“I mean.. I guess?” she mutters, crossing her arms, “I just.. like, you said you fell in love, right?”

he hums.

“But Jester and Nott have only ever mentioned Astrid.”

there’s a deep twinge of guilt in his chest. something that’s become more and more prominent the more he lets the nein think what they will about his old friends. he winces.

“Ah. Ja.”

“but it was both of them?”

he breathes. in. out. “Ja. I just.. I didn’t want them to ask more questions than they already had. Let them think what they will.”

beau snorts. “That’s a shitty idea that will definitely backfire.”

“I am aware.” he mutters back, his lips twitching into a small, sad smile. “I am, ah, worried I suppose. I think he would be very upset with me if he knew.”

that earns him a Look. “Why? I mean, I think if we meet up with your exes,” he nearly chokes at the word, “I don’t think whether or not you talked abt both of them to your friends is going to be anyone’s biggest issue.”

"Mm. You are definitely right about that.”

he nearly winces at how dejected his voice sounds as he says it, but instead he drops his gaze back to the book in his lap and places his hand on it, stroking the cover gently. they will have many problems if they were to ever see astrid and eodwulf again. his gossip about the two of them will hardly be at the top of their list, he’s sure.

beau glances at him, brows furrowed, and he can see the gears turning in her head. slowly, awkwardly, she places a hand on his shoulder again.

“If we, like, see them.. and they aren’t - you know - absolutely fucking crazy and evil and shit-”

“they will be, but go on.”

“yea but like, on the super off chance that they aren’t,” she pauses, looking him in the eye. her hand squeezes in what he assumes is her attempt at comforting him, “maybe we can do something. ok? i’m not promising shit, but.. you never know or whatever.”

he blinks, unsure of what to say or think. he doesn’t like the small spark of Something in his chest at the words - at the implication - and he tries desperately to stomp it down before it can burn too quickly.

“i.. do not think that will be an option.” he says carefully, “it has been a, ah, very long time. the empire is very good at ensuring it’s people do what it wishes - especially, ah, Him.” he breathes again shakily, ignoring the sudden race of his heart at the thought of that man. “but, ah.. thank you for the, the thought, beauregard.”

“hey man, it’s an option, alright? we’ve tried dumber shit and gotten out alive.” we really haven’t, he thinks, but stays silent. beau stands and grabs her drink, turning to walk away before pausing. instead, she turns back around and stares at him, then leans down to awkwardly wrap her arms around his shoulders. caleb freezes, suddenly unsure of what he’s supposed to do other than offering an awkward pat on the arm.

when she pulls away, she’s still got a hand on him. “i mean it though. if that book fucks you up, i’m taking it.”

he faulters, “J-ja, ok.”

“and you give it back in 3 days.”

“i remember, beauregard.”

“and if we see those two, we’re going to get them away from him.”

he doesn’t respond.

“okay?”

silence.

“Widogast.”

“beauregard,” he glares at her, his voice deeply tinged with warning as she glares back. he tries to ignore the anxiety crawling through his chest. “these are very dangerous people. if we meet them, it would be easier to kill them than it would be to change their minds.”

“if we have to kill them, we will,” she says, and his stomach twists at the thought. he’s considered the outcome hundreds of times over the years, but hearing someone speak it into existence makes it feel closer than ever. he reaches up to frumkin and scratches at his cheek, warranting a new round of loud purring that draw’s beau’s attention. “but if there’s something we can get a hold of, i’m will to try and pull them out. got it?”

there’s a pause before caleb nods, nearly imperceptible at how small it is.

"good.” she slaps his shoulder just a bit too hard, “good talk. enjoy your book.”

she turns and walks to the bar, leaving caleb at the table alone.

he glances down, eyes roaming over the cover of the book, using a single finger to softly trace the outline of three small figures huddled together in front of a lone house in the middle of a field. he breathes deeply, focusing on that and the sensation of frumkin’s purrs. he’s done reading for the night, he thinks. he can feel the familiar mental exhaustion creeping forward, already threatening to turn the soft lull of the dinner-crowd into a dull cacophony of grating voices and sharp, unexpected noises that will make his skin crawl.

collecting his items and draining the last of his ale, he stands and makes his way upstairs to the quiet of his room. putting the book away for now is simple, and there’s still a warmth in his chest that lingers from the soft memories of dancing alone in an empty home. he hopes - knows - that dreams will come, but at the very least he knows they will not be nightmares. and for that, he’s grateful.

#betaadmin #Mimic Speaks #The Mighty Nine AU #hm! long and rambly and not read over! exactly the kind of bullshit that i'm known for!

[olivyh]

Into Wonderland Chapter Five: Pomefiore Part Three

TW: Violence and descriptions of death

"Look out!" They hear someone yell, followed by a yelp and a thud. Mc whips around to see a small boy rolling off Neige, who is unconscious on the ground. 

"Neige!" They drop their apples and rush to the boy's side, rolling him onto his pack and propping his head onto their lap. They smack his face a few times, but to no avail. 

"Oh no-" The lilac haired boy rushes over to them. "I-I'm sorry- I didn't mean- you weren't-" They boy stammers. 

"It's fine, he's just asleep." Mc sighs, smiling up at the pretty boy. 

"Ah- about-" He runs his hands through his hair frustratedly. "Fuck..." he swears.

"What?" Mc asks, nerves creeping into their voice and making it shaky. 

"Vil's gonna have my head!" He groans. 

"Vil?"

"Yes! That pompous bastard took me in after th' meeting and made me do his bidding-"

"What was his bidding?"

"Hell if I know-" The boy sighs. "He wanted me to poison this kid who I can't even find- I'm not a murderer!" He shouts again.

"Okay, okay, first off, you found him, second off, you juts knocked him out right? You didn't like, plan to jump him from the trees?"

"No! Of course not!" The boy looks offended. "I was just hungry..."

"It's okay, here, help me get him back home-" They both pick up the boy by the shoulders and drag him back to the house, the purple haired boy explains that his name is Epel Felmier, and that he was working with Vil to get money to support his family's own apple orchard. Once they get back, they lay Neige down in the bed, allowing him to sleep for however long he would be out. 

"Neige?" Hop, who was standing in the doorway with his brothers behind him, calls. "Is he okay?"

Mc nods. "He just hit his head pretty badly." Epel awkwardly shuffles his feet, biting his lip as he stands in the corner of the small cottage. 

The dwarves crowd the bed, offering little remedies and tricks to try to make him feel better. A cold gust of wind bursts through the doorway and everyone turns. To Mc's horror, the beautiful blonde man stood there, purple eyes glaring down the small farmer boy who stood next to Mc. He jumps a bit, shuffling behind the other human as he looks up at the man. Rook looks at the two apologetically, standing in the doorway behind Vil. 

"What...?" Mc gasps as the man pushes them out of the way, standing over the sleeping boy. 

"I gave you one job!" Vil lashes out at the boy. Mc bites the inside of their cheek and steps in front of Epel, who makes a surprised sound. Vil raises an eyebrow, scowling at them. 

"Listen here! I don't understand why you want Neige dead so badly, which I have my own problems with, but don't make someone else do your dirty work for you!" They argue. Vil, to their surprise, scoffs and bursts into a small smile. 

"I've learned my lesson with that, little one." He glares at Rook and Epel, who both look down at their feet. The dwarves try their best to pull Mc out of the way, not wanting them to get hurt. "I suppose you'll never quite understand the pain that comes with beauty."

"It can't be any worse than the pain that comes with, oh, I don't know, dying?!" They fight back, a little bit braver than they had been before. 

"Sweetheart-" He grabs their chin with his perfectly manicured hand, tilting their face up. "You'll never see the countless nights of never being enough, the pain of mutilating yourself simply to fit a mold of perfection, the standard you're held at day in and day out. Soon enough, Neige will feel the same." He leans in closer to them, his breath brushing their ear, making them recoil. "He will become a shell of his former self. He can't possibly handle the pressure. Soon enough, he will crumble and face death sooner rather than later." A shiver runs up their spine as they take a step back, bumping into Epel, who grabs their arm to steady them. 

"So you have to kill him for it? Something he can't even control? He's not like you!" Mc clamps their mouth shut. 

"Not like me?" The man asks, voice laced with venom. 

"Maybe he won't f-feel that pressure!" Epel tries to cover for them. "Or if he does, he at least has someone with experience to help him through it!"

"I'd still rather not watch my younger brother turn into a shell of his older self reaching for perfection, if I can do it for him."

"Then do it for him! Let him live his life and hide him away from whatever perfection you think he has to get!"

This makes the man think. Why am I constantly negotiating with murderers?  Mc thinks, knitting their eyebrows on their forehead. 

"You don't have to kill him to protect him! That's just stupid!" Vil stares at them, lips slightly parted in shock as his eyes go wide. A groan is heard from the bed beside them as the black haired boy sits up and stretches, wincing and rubbing his forehead. 

"Mc?" He calls out blindly, rubbing his eyes. He blinks a few times at the scene in front of him. 

"Vil?" His eyes well up with fresh tears as he launches himself at the man, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I-I thought you died! Why didn't you try to find us? What was the danger?" The man scoffs and pushes the smaller boy off him, giving him an expensive looking handkerchief to dab at his eyes with. 

"Clean yourself up." He states. "And meet me outside once you're done. We're going home."

"You're..." Toby trails off, sniffling. "going home?"

Everyone else looks at him expectedly, and he tenses up, smiling softly. "I have to. I'm so thankful you all let me stay here-"

"Come visit!" Hop yells. Neige giggles and nods, patting the boy on the head. 

"Of course I will!"

"What about you, Mc?" Dominic turns to them. "Are you going back with Neige?"

Mc takes a deep breath and shakes their head. "I-I think I have an idea of what I have to do now. I'm afraid we part ways here-"

"Forever?" Neige whispers, voice cracking. 

"I-I'm not sure, actually." Mc looks down at their feet. Neige pulls them in for a warm hug, shaking in their grasp.

"Thank you for everything-"

"Hurry, Neige, it's going to be night soon-" Vil calls from outside. Everyone says their goodbyes and Mc turns to Rook and Epel as they make their way out of the cottage. 

"Rook?" They call out to the blonde, who turns to them. Vil and Neige walk farther ahead, outside of earshot and talking solemnly to one another. 

"Oui?"

"I need you to kill me."

"What the fuck?" Epel pulls their arm. "Didn't we just go through this?!"

"It's the only way for me to get home." They say confidently as Rook looks down at them, jaw dropped. Epel stammers, shaking their shoulders. 

"Are ya dumb or somethin'?" He scolds, aggressively releasing their shoulders from his hold. "You could stay with us! If you don't want ta stay in the castle I'm sure my folks would have no problem with you working on the farm!"

They smile sadly and shake their head. "I'm sorry Epel, but I have to get to my real home." The boy looks at them in shock, bright blue eyes wide as his eye twitches. 

"You- you- I-" He sputters, silenced by a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you truly believe that this is the only way for you to get home?" Rook whispers. Mc nods, hands shaking at their sides. "It's happened before- worst thing that will happen to me is I black out and wake up in the next land. This is my fifth time doing this, Rook, Epel."

"If you truly believe it-" The man unsheathes a long dagger that glistens in the sunset. Epel grabs Mc and tries to pull them back, lecturing them quietly and trying to pull them away from the man. Most of his words turn incoherent as panic takes over him. 

"Epel, please," They put their hand over his and smile. The boy still shakes. "If you have to just... look away, okay?" He gulps and nods, taking a step back. 

Rook approaches them calmly, though they can see the tremors that course through his body. "Thank you for everything, your soul is... truly a pure, beautiful thing..." He slowly raises the dagger, closing his eyes. 

"Tell everyone I'm sorry for disappearing. And... thank you, Rook." They close their eyes as they feel the blade pierce their skin and disappear into their chest, the front of their shirt becoming warmer and wet, the cold wind sending a chill down their spine as they close their eyes once more.

   

This got very very close to being a Neige x reader fic and I had to hold myself back

also pls don't make fun of me for the French i'm really hoping google translate pulled through this time

How do you guys pronounce Crowley? I've been pronouncing it like Cr- ow- lee (like when you get hurt and you go ow!) but my little brothers been pronouncing it as crow-lee and we've just been going back and forth abt it for a hot min.

#Pomefiore #rook hunt #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #neige leblanche #twisted wonderland headcannons #twisted wonderland #twst