#mark hoffman cake

[hoffmans-hoffman]

I am tired of waiting, I'm tired of waiting, I am tired

Davis's hands slide easily into Mark's pockets as he pulls himself closer. “How much longer?„ “Soon I promise„ Mark replies fixing his tie as Davis let out the most overdramatic sigh out. “We have to time the games just right, you know this„ “I know I'm just bored...„ Davis gave a small shrug that Mark didn't see but knew happened.

Altered expectations, Long anticipation, Everything is changing

“Go change your shirt, your coming too„ Mark says before pulling away from Davis's weak grasp. “But I thought I had today off„ Davis grumbles as he pulled his shirt off and walked into the bedroom. “I'm calling you in...„ Mark gave a vague wave as he finished his coffee.

I'm the same and aging, I'm tired of waiting, I am tired of waiting

Davis was grumbling insults at Mark as he violently tucked his shirt into his pants “Better be starting the game so or I'll fucking...„ Mark couldn't hear the rest of Davis's sentence as Davis had stuck his head in the freezer looking for his tie. “...It'll be soon, I just have to remember where I left Allison...„ Mark's attempt at a joke made Davis take his head out of the freezer tie in hand. “That's not funny„ Davis murmur as he puts his semi frozen tie on, his fingers twitching from how cold his tie got. “Mhm, you never did have a mature sense of humor„ “You mean dark and heartless, nope never will„

I am tired, I'm just tired of waiting

Davis was bored during the car ride to the station, his fingers drummed to the song on the radio “But soon right?„ he says looking at Mark, now watching Mark intensely. “Yes soon, can you please shut up about it... don't need the fucking whole world to know„ Mark was trying to speak in a calm tone but it came out as an annoyed growl. “I was just making sure we were on the same page, damn...„ Davis mutters as he turns up the radio, which he did whenever he was done with a car conversion.

#mark hoffman #davis devils #otp: detective and mr crazy cakes #drabble #please tell me what you learned from this fic

[bosinclairsgff]

Pet names the slashers use

Warnings: none

Includes: Bo Sinclair, Baby Firefly, Otis Driftwood, Amanda Young, The Grabber, Corey Cunningham, Brahms Heelshire, Mark Hoffman, Dollface

A/n I was running out of pet names I knew at the end sorry

- Bo will call you darlin, baby, babe or pretty girl. I could also calling you his little lamb. When he’s mad though, he’ll call you bitch or whore.

- Oh my gosh, Baby will call you just about anything. She mostly, however calls you sweetheart, sugar, honey, darling, pudding, cutie or love bug.

- Otis will address you as bitch anytime of the day. Even if he’s not mad at you, he could be HAPPY with you and be like “come hear bitch” and wouldn’t think twice. He will also call you mama, babygirl, bunny and missy.

- Amanda would call you something basic like baby, babe, MAYBE baby girl I’m not sure about that one though. She’s always calling you a pretty girl. I’m sure she’d occasionally throw in sweetie or sweetheart.

- Albert would of course call you dove, my love, sweetheart, honey, doll, baby. He’d only use degrading names when he’s angry.

- This man is a SIMP. Corey would call you baby, babe, my love, darling, baby girl, pretty girl and cutie!

- Mommy. He’d call you mommy, maybe mama. He’s a lil freak I fear.

- Mark isn’t a crazy romantic, he’d call you things like darling, babe, hot stuff and some other oddly specific name he comes up with.

- Dollface would call you sweet and cute names! Such as, baby, pumpkin, darling, kitty, bunny, love, sweetie, baby cakes and pretty girl.

#horror #horror fan #horror movie #horror movies #horror films #slasher x reader #slashers #house of wax #saw franchise #bo sinclair x reader #amanda young fluff #amanda young x reader #mark hoffman fluff #mark hoffman x reader #dollface #baby firefly x reader #baby firefly #otis driftwood x reader #otis x reader #corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms heelshire #bosinclairsgff #the grabber x you #the grabber x reader

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Lawrence/Mark x fem!reader - Jealousy

Warning : jealousy, blood, saw horror, kiss, use of Y/n, fluff, comfort

Mark Hoffman x fem!reader, Lawrence Gordon x fem!reader

Summary : Two men, two successors to Jigsaw and yet, besides the latest game, there is something in both of them that they want...you.

masterlist

Costas mandylor - masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since John had chosen his successors, the last thing he hoped for from them was an intimate relationship. Lawrence was his biggest project and at the same time his biggest secret. Amanda for a short time like a daughter but for her he was the father.

Mark had gotten by the serial killer again a sense and Y/n the newest member of the almost cult was Johns second hand which concerned the creation of traps. Behind the young reporter's friendly demeanor, however, was a goddess who, like John, ruled over the living and the dead.

A woman who since she had emerged, especially the doctor and the policeman had not been able to get out of his head. Lawrence for the first time again felt his heart beating for someone after his wife and Adam.

How the blond came more and more often to the factory instead of being at work to take care of the medical things and to keep an eye on how it would cause physical pain.

His friendliness and just slightly insane mixed and he enjoyed the time together with her. To his surprise, she had worked as a nurse for a few years and both had an interest in the medical field.

Mark, on the other hand, scored with his sense of justice and his direct manner. He made it clear to everyone that he wanted something from her. The way he rolled up his sleeves to work on the machines when they tightened something together.

The way he made remarks and flirted, much to the chagrin of John and Amanda, neither of whom wanted to hear about it as long as the three of them didn't forget their goal in the work. The umstruckturieren, punish and judge the people.

The sun was already low in the sky when Y/n returned from her lunch break to her office for the last few hours. Closing the door to her office and enjoying the coffee she had bought just a few minutes before. Settling into her chair, she finally saw the bouquet of red roses lying on her desk.

Is it a birthday? she asked herself and looked at the calendar on her wall where the birthdays of her colleagues were listed. But there was no little cake to be seen that month.

Taking the bouquet in her hand she smelled the sweet roses, the redness of the blossoms matched her lipstick. She saw the small card in the bouquet and took it in her hands while she fetched a glass of water and put the bouquet in it.

,,For the most loving co-worker as a token of my love," she murmured the words that someone had written in cursive with a fountain pen. A message from a mysterious admirer had bought her the roses and seemed to be looking forward to them.

She looked at the roses with a smile and went back to her work. But during the remaining hours, her eyes kept going to the roses. The sweet blossoms, the scent that surrounded her, was intoxicating. Intoxicating until she walked out of her office and picked up a single one.

You could make any murder factory more beautiful, which is why she was even happier. ,,Hello, I'm here!" she called into the factory and got a cheerful hello back from Amanda who was working on the bear trap and John already seemed to be making new plans.

She put the rose in a coffee cup and filled it with water and put it on the small table by Amanda's bed. ,,Thank you" the black haired girl said and winked at the older one before Y/n disappeared into the corridors of the factory with a nod.

She looked into a few of the rooms and saw the various torture devices, some still in the middle of finishing work or in the testing phase. But that was not her goal. ,,I hope the stomach doesn't burst open again" she mumbled and could still remember the last time they wanted to place a bomb in one of the victims.

This, however, shortly after a false start led to complications and both died. A mistake that went on the cap of Lawrence and Y/n who had not switched everything on correctly.

Knocking on the door frame of the doctor's room she went in and saw the blond working on a person. He turned to her and seemed to be expecting someone else, but when his bright eyes went to her he smiled.

,,Hello Y/n, good to see you," he said cheerfully, pointing to the instruments he had laid out. She saw how he had already sewn up several wounds and was about to use hoes to probably hang the victim later. ,,A new device?" she asked and put on gloves before she started to hand him the things one by one.

He always gave her a thank you back and they both soon fell into a new conversation topic. She would be lying if she didn't like his calm and friendly manner. The little smile that was on his lips every time he pulled the needle with the thread through the man's skin.

He is always perfectly calm she thought and couldn't help but smile herself. The older one had noticed this and smirked as well, ,,What's so funny?" he wanted to know although they both seemed to know how absurd this all was. Two adults picking at one person.

Until they both burst into giggles and put away their medical tools to calm down. ,,Let's just hope that no-" she was about to continue when Lawrence put down the cutlery and stepped up with his prosthesis.

A mistake, as it turned out, when he drew in the air sharply and the bloody cutlery and tray fell off as he held onto the wall and almost toppled over. ,,Lawrence!" she cried, frightened, and hurried over to him, pushing the victim aside and supporting the blond doctor before taking him to a chair.

With a pained sigh, he tried to find a reasonably comfortable position before she pulled up his pants and looked at the prosthesis. ,,A screw came loose and cut your leg a little...I'll fix it...wait a minute" she said and he couldn't help but smile at her professionalism and caring.

More than once he had let his thoughts wander to her. He knew that his heart was beating for her but he didn't want to press her. Not like Mark.

He approached her and took off his prosthesis - he hadn't used his cane lately. ,,I shouldn't have been so independent of my cane," he said aloud and saw her give him a look of understanding before she came to him with the things.

,,It may have been a while now...but Gordon even I had to get used to my prosthesis," she said cheerfully and he looked at the three fingers of her right hand. Instead of flesh and blood, there was metal and leather and several joints connecting the three fingers.

Mostly, however, she wore a glove to hide the injury, not to mention the relatively large piece of her left ear that was missing after a bullet from a pistol nearly blew it off.

She didn't see the slight redness on his cheeks as she tended to his wounds and the blood. He had winced as she dabbed the disinfectant on the wound. His fingers briefly tightened on her shoulder and she gave him a moment to give himself time.

The position they were in she was kneeling in front of him practically between his legs and the pain stopped paired with her warm soft hands was something that made him draw in his breath sharply.

,,That should do it," she said in conclusion, tightening the bandage before sliding the prosthesis back onto his leg. Suddenly Lawrence's hand touched her cheek and she smelled that sweet smell again.

,,You gave me the roses," she said, and she felt as if someone had removed the board from her head. His smile widened and she felt the gesture of Lawrence pulling her closer. His fingers slid lightly over her body and he touched her gently.

She felt him pull her up, almost onto his lap, and she closed her eyes, hoping for the kiss, when suddenly a loud clearing of the throat was heard. ,,Doctor shouldn't you take care of your patients and let the living ones go?" Mark asked bitingly and gave the blonde a warning look before winking at the younger one and walking back into the hallway.

,,I need your help honey!" he called and she heard Lawrence shake his head in annoyance. ,,Thank you Lawrence" she said hastily and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and handed him his walking stick before walking behind Mark.

He seemed to have just returned from work, she smelled the smell of his gun, his aftershave and that smug feeling that surrounded him. ,,You can be nicer to him, you know," she reminded him, not liking that they didn't like each other. She knew that if they were going to keep doing this, they had to get along.

As soon as the next game was on, they all had to work together. ,,Don't be so sugar he'll get over it as soon as he can walk again" the brown haired man waved her off and she rolled her eyes as she walked with him to one of the machines.

She knew he had a more than deft hand for the traps. ,,Honey, can you get me the hooks from the main hall?" he asked and was already working on the metal. In answer to his question, she watched him for a moment before she disappeared.

A sigh inevitably escaped her and Amands patted her encouragingly on the shoulder. ,,Don't let it go to your head," she said, and John seemed to rebound from the whole affair.

His own relationship and love had been shattered by it all and the last thing he wanted to do was deal with it. ,,See that you get our new one and the trap ready...I don't want any delays Y/n" he said and she nodded showing him a look in which he let her know that she had finished it. Before the white haired one went back to his work himself. With the target in her hand she returned to the room and paused.

That's extra she thought and saw how the policeman had opened his shirt slightly, rolled up his sleeves and smiled broadly at her. ,,I knew it, good girl" he praised her and she threw him the heels which he found surprisingly good and started to work.

She leaned against the wall giving him new metal from time to time, but most of all she knew how much he enjoyed her looking at him.

How her eyes ran over his body and he was just wallowing in her gaze. After a few more moments of her looking at the trap and Hoffman in particular, he set the welder aside and tapped on the trap. ,,Sit down," he said, tapping the seat of the trap, which she knew could kill someone as soon as it was finished.

Sitting down on the cold metal, she was about to grab the blades when she felt his hand move up her thigh. Leaning against the metal and preventing her from escaping while she did not take her eyes off him.

At least he didn't allow that as he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. ,,You know, I could give you more than the doctor" he whispered to her and she saw how he came closer to her and the kiss seemed inevitable.

Suddenly a cane crashed against the metal of the tubes and he rose from her. ,,You're disturbing, you know that?" came the sarcastic question and Lawrence smirked smugly as Mark moved away from Y/n and grabbed the welder before the three went back into the main room.

But before that she had hastily risen and given Mark a kiss on the cheek as she did with Lawrence, standing in the middle while the two men stared at each other dismissively. ,,John, we're done," she said to the oldest, who nodded contentedly and withdrew.

She seemed to sense what was about to happen, which is why she was grateful that Amanda took her by the hand and the two women retreated together.

Between all that, they both seemed to have found each other the most. The kiss she got at the end of the day from Amanda herself. But the arguing noise could still be heard in the hallways of the factory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@lola-max-sugar , @megustadilf , @slut4hoffman , @agunislover

#saw movies #saw franchise #saw mark hoffman #mark hoffman #mark hoffman x reader #lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon x reader #saw lawrenve gordon

[sluvtforhoffman]

i ain’t ever arguing with mark hoffman, he got a fat ass like okay cake boss

#detective hoffman #mark hoffman #saw #saw franchise #saw x

[theflirtmeister]

niche in the chest

Mark Hoffman/Lawrence Gordon - NSFW - Saw Franchise

By the time Mark has clawed his way back upstairs, Lawrence has taken up residence in the kitchen with a cup of tea and a slice of inedible cake that was made earlier that week. He feels strangely calm as he extends his leg, waiting for Mark to bite through his chains like a feral dog.

Mark slams open the kitchen door, ankle raw and bleeding over the carpet, and growls something unintelligible. The chain is still attached to his foot, giving him the appearance of Marley from a Christmas Carol, a spirit sent from the depths of hell. Lawrence doesn’t look up from his Blackberry phone, pretending to check today’s news.

“You survived.” He says dryly. “Congratulations.”

read the rest on ao3 here

#hoffdon #3DShipping #saw fic #hoffman x lawrence #mark hoffman x lawrence gordon #the cbt fic that nobody asked for #kinkvember 2023

[wolverton]

LET'S GO TO THE GARDEN. LET'S BE KIDS AGAIN. I'LL CHASE YOU IF YOU CHASE ME.

BLOOD, GUTS, AND ANGEL CAKE

by wolverton

T | Amanda Young & Mark Hoffman | Oneshot | 2.5k

SUMMARY

Mark Hoffman could be a good big brother when he put his mind to it. Luckily for Amanda Young, he was putting his mind to it—complete with a total resurrection of his long-forgotten baking abilities.

(NOTABLE) TAGS:

Fluff, Birthday, Sibling Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Not Canon Compliant, Fluff and Crack, Found Family

(see ao3 for more!)

#saw #saw x #mark hoffman #amanda young #found family #saw fanfic #saw fanfiction #mark hoffman and amanda young #jigsquad #jigsquad fluff

[deliciousfuryruins]

saw

mark Hoffman: It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake If the way is hazy You gotta do the cooking by the book You know you can't be lazy! Never use a messy recipe The cake will end up crazy If you do the cooking by the book, then you'll have a cake We gotta have it made You know that I love cake Finally it's time to make a

Peter strahm: Break it down bitch, let me see you back it up! Drop that ass down low then pick that motherfucker up! Back that pussy, she's a motherfucker! Rub that shit it's yours bitch! Grab this dick it's yours bitch! Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga! Grind on his dick make it get a little bigger

i fonud this lazy town vs lil jon

#mark hoffman #peter strahm #Youtube

[laresearchette]

Tuesday, January 30, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES? DEXTER: NEW BLOOD (Paramount+ Canada) VANDERPUMP RULES (Slice) 9:00pm QUANTUM LEAP (City TV) 10:00pm

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

CBC GEM FOR THE CULTURE WITH AMANDA PARRIS

NETFLIX CANADA JACK WHITEHALL: SETTLE DOWN (GB)

NCAA MEN'S HOCKEY (TSN2) 6:30pm: Boston University vs. Northeastern

NHL HOCKEY (TSN2/TSN5) 7:00pm: Sens vs. Habs (SN360) 10:00pm: Kraken vs. Sharks

NBA BASKETBALL (SN Now) 7:30pm: Lakers vs. Hawks (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 7:30pm: Pacers vs. Celtics (SN/SN1) 8:00pm: Raptors vs. Bulls (TSN/TSN4) 10:00pm: 76ers vs. Warriors

THIS HOUR HAS 22 MINUTES (CBC) 8:00pm

MARY MAKES IT EASY (CTV Life) 8:00pm: Steak House Sides

SON OF A CRITCH (CBC) 8:30pm: When Mark realizes his friends think his comic book collection is immature, he impulsively sells them all and quickly regrets it.

COMFORT FOOD WITH SPENCER WATTS (CTV Life) 8:30pm: Spencer cooks a turkey and wild rice blanquette with fluffy bannock, a rich cauliflower korma soup and ends with a sweet dulche deleche mug pudding cake.

ONE MORE TIME (CBC) 9:00pm: When DJ is set up on a blind date with a non-verbal deaf woman, he struggles to find a way to communicate with her.

RUN THE BURBS (CBC) 9:30pm: Andrew struggles to train Leo for the basketball team tryouts, and Camille discovers the cooking gene skipped Khia.

RUSSELL PETERS: IRRESPONSBILE ENSEMBLE (CTV Comedy) 10:30pm: Russell jokes about modern life and interacts with some Italian-blooded audience members; featuring Robby Hoffman, Donnell Rawlings and Daniel Sloss.

#cdntv #cancon #canadian tv #canadian tv listings #this hour has 22 minutes #mary makes it easy #son of a critch #comfort food with spencer watts #one more time #run the burbs #russell peters: irresponsible ensemble #ncaa hockey #nhl hockey #nba basketball

[incorporatedmmorg]

Grizzly bear rag player piano

Silks And Rags (Waltzes) THANE, LOGAN (NAT E. Trombone Johnsen (Ragtime Cakewalk) STONE, FRED S. Sponge SMITH, CHRIS AND EUROPE, JAMES REESE Ballin’ The Jack (Fox Trot) SMITH, LEE OREANĬampin’ On De Ole Suwanee (Characteristic March, Two Step, Polka or Cakewalk) SNYDER, TED Wild Cherries (Rag) STARK, E. Lumb’rin’ Luke (Cakewalk and Two Step) SILVERMAN AND WARD, That Hand Played Rag SIMON, W. PHILIP Jungle Time (A Genuine Rag) SEYMOUR, CY Holy Moses (Rag) The Whitewash Man (March and Two Step) SCOTT, JAMES A Summer Breeze (March and Two Step) Sleepy Sidney (Ragtime Two Step) SCHWARTZ, JEAN Dusky Dudes (Cakewalk) Too Much Raspberry (Fox Trot) SCHEU, ARCHIE W. The Eight O’Clock Rush (Rag) RUSSELL, SYDNEY K. M., Walkin’ On De Rainbow Road (March, Cakewalk and Two Step) ROBINSON, J. The Pride Of Bucktown (Ragtime March) ROBERTS S. The Junk Man Rag ROBERTS, JAY The Entertainer’s Rag ROBERTS, ROBERT S. Pork and Beans (One Step or Two Step Trot) Funny Folks (Ragtime March and Two Step) PRATT, PAUL Colonial Glide PUCK, HARRY The Foot-Warmer (One Step or Two Step) ROBERTS, C. Trouble (Rag) NIEBERGALL JULIA LEE, Horseshoe Rag NORTHUP, JOSEPH Cannon Ball (Characteristic Two Step) O’HARE, WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER Levee Revels (An Afro-American Cane Hop) POWELL, W. Whistling Rufus (Characteristic Two Step, March or Polka) MORRISON, WILL B. Rastus on Parade (Characteristic Two Step March) Rags To Burn MILLS, KERRY At A Georgia Campmeeting (Characteristic Two Step, March or Polka) The Pippin (A Sentimental Rag) MATTHEWS, ARTIE Pastime Rag No. I Got The Blues (Characteristic Ragtime Two Step) MARSHALL, ARTHUR Ham and Eggs (A Ragtime Two Step) On Easy Street (Ragtime Two Step) MAGGIO, A. That Madrid Rag LODGE, HENRY Temptation Rag LYONS, BOB AND YOSCO, GEORGE Spaghetti Rag MACEACHRON, J. BODEWALT Creole Belles (Ragtime March)ĭixie Girl (Characteristic March and Two Step) LENZBERG, JULIUS Haunting Rag Sensation (A Rag, arranged by Joplin) LAMPE, J. Tiger Rag (One Step) LAMB, JOSEPH American Beauty Rag Shake Yo’ Dusters (Piccaninny Rag, Two Step) LA ROCCA, D. That Teasin’ Rag (Rag and Two Step) KAUFMAN, MEL B. Swipesy (Cake Walk) JORDAN, JOE Nappy Lee (A Slow Drag) Something Doing (A Ragtime Two Step) JOPLIN, SCOTT AND LOUIS CHAUVIN Heliotrope Bouquet (A Slow Drag Two Step) JOPLIN, SCOTT AND MARSHALL, ARTHUR Lily Queen (A Rag and Two Step) Weeping Willow (A Ragtime Two Step) JOPLIN, SCOTT AND SCOTT HAYDEN Felicity Rag (Ragtime Two Step) The Chrysanthemum (An Afro-American Intermezzo) Dill Pickles (Rag and Two Step)ĭoc Brown’s Cakewalk (The Original Kansas City Rag) JOPLIN, SCOTT A Breeze From Alabama (March & Two Step) Why We Smile INGRAHAM, HERBERT Poison Ivy (Rag) JANZA, MARK Lion Tamer (A Syncopated Fantasia) JENTES, HARRY Bantam Step (Fox Trot or One Step) JOHNSON, CHARLES L. Ragtown Rags HUMFELD, CHARLES Who Let The Cows Out? (A Bully Rag) HUNTER, CHARLES Just Ask Me (A Ragtime Two Step) I’m Alabama Bound (Ragtime Two Step) HOFFMAN, MAX Rag Medley Queen Raglan (Cakewalk and Two Step) HOFFMAN, ROBERT A Dingy Slow Down "Cleanin’ Up” in Georgia (Cakewalk Patrol or Two Step) HAHN, TEDDY The Amazon Rag HENRICH, A. Jinx Rag (arranged by Matthews, Artie) GILES, IMOGENE Red Peppers (Two Step) GLOGAU, JACK The Aeroplane (Ragtime Two Step) GUY, HARRY P. BENNET) Sweet Pickles (Characteristic Two Step) FRANKLIN, BERNARD Blackville Society (Cakewalk Two Step) GIBLIN, IRENE Chicken Chowder (Characteristic Two Step) GIBSON, L. Oh! You Devil (Rag) DOBYNS, GERALDINE Possum Rag EUROPE, JAMES REESE The Castle (Doggy Fox Trot) FLORENCE, GEORGE (AKA/THERON C. The Shovel Fish (Rag) COZAD, IRENE Eatin’-Time Rag CRABB, DUANE Fluffy-Ruffles (Two Step) DABNEY, FORD C. You Tell ‘Em Ivories COOK, WILL MARION Cruel Papa! (Fox Trot) COOK, HARRY L. The Mazie King Midnight Trot CONFREY, ZEZ Coaxing the Piano Russian Rag (Interpolating the world famous Prelude by Rachmaninoff) Policy King (Two Step) BURGESS, MATTIE HARL Rag Alley Dream COBB, GEORGE L. The Chevy Chase (Fox Trot) BOLEN, GRACE Smoky Topaz (March and Two Step) BOTSFORD, GEORGE Chatterbox Rag A Cyclone In Darktown (Rags) BLAKE, EUBIE Fizz Water (Trot and One Step) Worlds Fair Rag BARGY, ROY Blue Streak (Rag Fox Trot) МультфильмĪDLER, BERNARD Dat Lovin’ Rag (Two Step) ANDERSON, WILLIE Keystone Rag (Rag) ARNDT, FELIX Nola (A Silhouette for the Piano) AUFDERHEIDE, MAY Dusty (Rag)

#Grizzly bear rag player piano

[deadspeaker]

My mum know that I like Costas Mandylor and...

I have got this cake on my birthday, oooooooh~

#saw franchise #saw movies #costas mandylor #mark hoffman #sugar boy #cake

[tokoyamisstuff]

Captivated Ch. 5 - Mark Hoffman x Reader

Summary: Hoffman stops at nothing to protect you - even against your own will. Warnings: Angst, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationship, Cussing, Panic Attack

Words: 1972

[Masterlist]

"Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind - I’m already cursed.”  - Fairytale by Alexander Rybak

Now it was certain: Hoffman will definetly kill all of them.

Even with you inseparable in his arms, watching you sleeping soundly next to a beast like him, he couldn't think of anything else: Everyone that threatens you or this relationship will be put out of his way.

When you woke up, the bedplace next to you was empty - only a note lying on the nightstand.

"Had to go to work. Didn't want to wake you up. Make yourself at home. And thank you for everything.

~Mark"

As smart as he was, Mark's temper was his worst enemy. Every time his emotions got the better of him, his foresight would be very limited. You could even say he'd become delusional to some point. So he wouldn't even think of the possibility that there might be more apprentices to think of other than himself and Amanda...

...yes, Jigsaw will soon pass of his cancer anyway. And Mark would make sure Amanda will follow close after her mentor. Then there will be no one left that witnessed his crimes, and he'll erase all evidence.

The Jigsaw traps will ultimatively end, and he will be able to lead a normal life again...together with you.

But until then, he needed to make sure you were out of John Kramer's grasp. Hoffman had already made preparations, and there was not much left to do until his plan would unfold.

Soon, you would be together...forever.

_____

"Hey, pretty lady."

You almost screeched at that all too familiar voice, thinking it to be impossible. And yet there he was - the man that was having a mental breakdown just yesterday, looking as good as new.

"Mind if I take a seat?" he gestured around until you nodded, sitting down on a barstool right in front of you. Luckily it was a normal workday, so it wasn't really busy in the café.

"Be my guest!" you welcomed him with a warm smile which he reciprocated, folding his hands onto the serving table. You were close to ask him how he knew where you were working, and also that you had a late shift today - but with this man, it sure was no coincidence. "You're looking way better...I'm glad." "I feel so, yes. Thanks to you."

"Want something to eat?" You pointed to some of the cakes you were proud to call selfmade, but Mark just pat his own beer belly, making you snicker. "No, I think I'm good. Just coffee, please."

As you poured the liquid for him, the man timidly scratched his chin. "My apartement didn't look this tidy in years" he noted grateful, yet also quite ashamed, knowing just how many liquor bottles you probably found while cleaning up.

"It's nothing, really" you downplayed your effort, keeping on your little chat even while serving one or two other customers. "We've all needed help at some point in our lives. You just need to ask."

"Well, then..." Hoffman took a sip of his coffee, hesistant to voice his suspicious request. "Mind if I stay here until your shift ends? I could help you clean up. Still owe you one."

Oh wow - now you never worry about being the clingy one ever again. But it made sense, actually...after having lost his only family and being lonely for so long, he probably had a strong fear of abandonment. "Sure!" you cheered, even though you thought he owed you nothing. "We can go home together."

"Another Jigsaw victim has been found in an abandoned factory..." You immediately picked up the remote, changing the channel on the small old TV. "Sorry, I just hate to see so many bad news. Can't hear it anymore."

"No worries" Mark was absentmindedly turning the spoon in the cup, almost impatiently. "I don't need to hear about my job all day either. That's all work needing to be done."

"Oh yeah, your colleagues told me you're with the homicide unit..." you winked awkwardly, leaning over the bar table. "I mean, as long as you're not busy saving people in your free time."

"I'm not allowed to spill any details, if you want to temptate me into that." Mark's face was now just inches from yours, and he was grinning confidently - yet his smile vanished at your answer. "No, I’d honestly rather not. Please. That whole Jigsaw thing is so sick and disgusting...this man and all his accomplices deserve the worst punishment possible!"

"Yes...”he spoke in between grittet teeth. “You're right."

"Hopefully you'll catch those disturbed people soon!" You leaned over to kiss him on the cheek and he clenched his jaw with so much pressure, he feared his teeth might crack. "You're my hero, you know?"

The last 80 minutes went by pretty uneventful, with Mark passing time by simply adoring your every move, and you trying to distract him, fearing he might become unstable and fall into depression again.

"Where to? My place, or shall I bring you home again?" Mark asked as he held the car's door open for you. "Only if you stay the night."

"That's the kind of immoral offer I'd love to accept" he joked, trying to distract you from the black bag on the backseat that seemed to have catched your attention. "It's getting cold, let's go!"

You were only driving for about ten minutes when you started to feel strangely tired. The only thing keeping you awake was the thrill of the rare occasion that Hoffman called you a nickname. "Is something the matter, darling?"

"I-I don't know what's wrong...just feel kinda dizzy...ma-maybe I-I've worked too much lately." Exactly: You haven't slept much last night while caring for your...may you call it boyfriend? So that must be it.

Mark wouldn't let anything show, keeping his eyes on the street and occasionally looking to how you were doing...

...until you've realized that you drew right past your home, beginning to panic. So he pulled over, temporarily parking in an empty street.

"...or it's the anesthetic I've put in your drink."

Your heart began racing against all odds, feeling as if it was to break out of your chest as you realized what the man you had fallen in love with just said. Yet your body wouldn't move an inch, and darkness already began to surround you.

"Shh..." It hurt. The way he was softly petting your head, how his soothing voice sounded so affectionate and loving in contrast to his actions hurt you more than the obscurity of your fate.

"Don't worry, my love...I'll take good care of you."

_____

When you slowly woke up, your whole body still felt numb. It didn't hurt though, just felt like your veins and nerves were prickling unpleasantly.

You had no idea how much time had passed, neither where you are - and the more awake you've became, the more panic was spreading inside of you. Your heart raced as you looked around, the sound of your fastened breaths echoing against the walls.

As soon as you regained feeling in your limbs, the true torture began - for you realized you were in shackles, hands tied over your head and making you unable to move. You wanted to scream, but your mouth had been gagged as well.

Struggling in your restrainments, you realized the walls to be out of metal - and apparently completely soundproof.

Despair was getting the better of you, for Hoffman really had thought about every detail: No matter what he wanted from you, there was no escaping it.

It was a tiny sole room, furnished with the most necessities - deep in the basement of one of Jigsaw's abandoned and unused properties. A safe haven he had built for you until he knew you to be out of any danger...

...and then, the heavy door opened.

It was him: The man you would've given everything to be with this whole time - and now just wished he'd simply disappear.

You screamed underneath the fabric that was covering your mouth, wriggling in your chains as the outlines of the man in the door came closer. He was dressed completely black, wearing the jacket hed usually be wearing when he was dong Jigsaw's dirty work. Heavy steps led straight towards you, crouching to your height just like back when you first met.

"Please...no!" you squealed weakly as he untied the gag, squinting your eyes shut in fear of the monster lurking in front of you...

...yet all he did was placing a wet kiss into your hair, smiling as loving as ever. "What's wrong? What are you so afraid of, Y/N?"

That man had obviously lost his mind - but maybe it wasn't too late. "Please, you need to let me go!"

"I'm afraid that's not possible, my love" he explained as he untied your hands, rubbing the sore skin on your wrists ever so slightly. "I had to tie you sitting upright to prevent you from choking on your tongue while passed out. I'm sorry."

"Trying to flee is to no avail" he spoke as your resistance was met with him swiftly picking you up to place you on the makeshift bed. "Only I know the combination to the lock on the door."

Slowly and gently, he would lose all of your restrainments - except for the collar on your neck, which he told you was to track you wherever you were. "Good girl" he whispered into your ear as you wouldn't try to fight back or flee - simply because you were frozen in terror.

"Why?" Tears streamed down your face as your eyes met his icy ones, unable to resist leaning into the touch as he placed a firm hand on your cheek. "Hoff...man...how can you do this?"

"Don't cry" he evaded your question, placing his lips on every single one of your tears. "I don't want tears to stain that pretty face."

"N-No, Mark...I-"

"The Jigsaw killer is after you." Your eyes widened in shock, unsure whether to believe him or not. "How would you know that? Because I'm the girlfriend of a cop?"

"No..." This time, he wouldn't have the guts to look at you as matter of exception. "Its because...I am one of his accomplices."

"You-" your voice broke off several times, interrupted by surpressed sobs as anger boiled in your guts, setting your veins on fire. "I'm in love with one of those homicidal maniacs?!?"

"Please forgive me." It felt like you couldn't breathe, so Mark would pull you into his arms, trying to calm you down - even when you began punching and kicking the way stronger man to free yourself, his hug would only tighten. "You're sick! Let go off of me, you fucking freak! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!"

"But I love you, Y/N...I really do.”

Right now, you could not care less about his confession - even though until earlier, it was the only thing you ever wished for. So as helpless as you were, there was nothing left to do than screaming and crying to your hearts extend, with Mark never leaving your side until you'd eventually calm down.

"Soon, you'll understand...and then you'll beg me to kiss you again."

It felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest. All you had ever hoped for, even your old life as you knew it had been destroyed at that very moment. You felt empty. Betrayed. Confused.

"...why me?" you managed to choke out, eyes red and burning with tears still glistening at the rim. 

"Because you've saved me." In that insane situation, Mark was very talkative as matter of exception. "And now I'll make up for what I've done and leave all of this behind. I promise. Just give me time!"

"...you're sick. They will never let you leave just like that!"

His answer was as cold and predicting as you could never thought him to be: "Not if I kill them first."

Yes. It was still too unbelievable for you to grasp it, but the man in front of you was indeed a serial killer - one who massacred his victims in ways no normal person could ever think of.

And apparently, that man was just as madly in love with you.

"I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me, Y/N...I'd make the whole world my enemy just to be with you.”

#SAW #mark hoffman #mark hoffman x reader #mark hoffman x you #detective hoffman #mark hoffman x y/n #mark hoffman / reader #mark hoffman / you #tw kidnapping #tw unhealthy relationship

[meatmutt-sfw]

cake pops — slashers

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲:

✰ brahms heelshire

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— types of snaps they’d send

— them as youtubers

— wii bowling w/ them

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞:

✰ ‘76!carrie white

— them as youtubers

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫:

✰ asa emory

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟑𝐭𝐡:

✰ jason voorhees

— 13:08

— types of snaps they’d send

— wii bowling w/ them

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧:

✰ og!michael myers

— 13:08

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— wii bowling w/ them

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

✰ rz!michael myers

— type of metal bf

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— types of snaps they’d send

— if they were in a band

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐬:

✰ baby firefly

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

✰ otis driftwood

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐱:

✰ bo sinclair

— type of metal bf (addition to original post)

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— types of snaps they’d send

— them as youtubers

— wii bowling w/ them

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

✰ lester sinclair

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— them as youtubers

✰ vincent sinclair

— type of metal bf

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— 13:08

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— types of snaps they’d send

— if they were in a band

— them as youtubers

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐒𝐀𝐖:

✰ amanda young

— 13:08

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

✰ mark hoffman

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦:

✰ billy loomis

— types of snaps they’d send

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

✰ stu macher

— types of snaps they’d send

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

✰ billy loomis & stu macher

— 13:08

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— them as youtubers

— wii bowling w/ them

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐞:

✰ bubba sawyer (1974-1986)

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— types of snaps they’d send

— sweeter than tea

— them as youtubers

✰ chop top sawyer (1986)

— wii bowling w/ them

✰ nubbins sawyer (1974)

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— wii bowling w/ them

✰ thomas hewitt (2003-2006)

— type of metal bf

— s/o that likes to cook & bake

— 13:08

— listening to their s/o explain fnaf lore

— types of snaps they’d send

— if they were in a band

— goodbye

— summer breeze

— them as youtubers

— wii bowling w/ them

— dealing with their s/o’s hand injury

not what you want? try another item.

meatmutt-sfw © 2021 all rights reserved.

#📌. Mutt’s navigation #🔪. slashers #slashers #slashers x reader #slasher x reader #slashers x you #slashers imagine #slasher imagines #brahms heelsire x reader #jason voorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #rz michael myers x reader #baby firefly x reader #otis driftwood x reader #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #amanda young x reader #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #leatherface x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #nubbins sawyer x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #tommy hewitt x reader

[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Mouthing Off to Dr. Spock (Part One)

American Motherhood in the 1970s was undergoing a real revolution: the country had a 9% unemployment rate, 15% inflation rate, 18%-20% mortgage rates, and President Ford wanted to whip inflation and the most rapidly growing segment of the workforce was mothers with preschool children (Hi Joan Holloway and Kevin, Hi Joyce Byers and Jonathon and Will). In 1970, 40% of married mothers worked and in 1984, 59% of married mothers worked. In 1970, only 24% of mothers with a child one year old or younger worked and in 1984 that jumped to 46.8% Black married mothers were more likely to be in the workforce than white counterparts (won’t be surprised if Mrs. Sinclair had worked outside the home in contrast to Karen) and single-parent households increased by 79% during the 1970s and 90% were headed by women. 

Back then there were few daycare centers, no maternity leave (paid or unpaid), no flex time, no after-school programs, and not the Family Leave Act (mothers still call in sick to watch a sick child) and the VCR and microwave weren’t widely available. 

“This generation of women, who are now approximately 50 years old and older, who raised kids in the 1970s and beyond--these are the ones who are great. It is because of them that companies even established daycare centers, that there are tax deductions for childcare expenses, that there is maternity and even paternity leave (however paltry), that there are now baby seats in supermarket carts. If you are one of these mothers, and your now grown children are even remotely functioning, stand up and take a bow.” The Mommy Myth (2004), Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels

Media centering on motherhood, from women’s magazines to sitcoms, family films were all frozen in 1957. At the same time there was more research being performed on children and infants, to assist in advice columns for moms raising their kids in different circumstances than their parents raised them. But the columnists were often serving mom guilt and had stay in the kitchen attitudes and sitcom moms hardly got angry with their kids and were always soothing and gentle like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Walton and unlike Flor.

Sitcoms were holding a smaller mom revolution: Maude Findlay (also a grandma), Florida Evans, Ann Romano (the OG One Day at a Time), and Alice Hyatt had feminist inspired barbs at their bratty kids, nosy neighbors, and men while advertisers came out with the supermom. Hollywood mostly focused on alienated young men like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson while movies targeting women mostly stayed stagnant. 

One movie that focused on the misery of the mid-century housewife as she dealt with being economically dependent on her husband, mindless housework, how she was expected to put her needs and wants on the back burner, and of how men acted like they were so dumb. Diary of a Mad Housewife focused on Tina Balser, a Smith alumni who is married to a man named Richard, who manages to fuse together the worst traits of Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers, Pete Campbell, and Don Draper together. He’s an up-and-coming lawyer who preens and condescends and insists his wife cracks ice instead of serving it cubed and dictated Thanksgiving dinner (he doesn’t cook it though) and only wanted Danson Plum preserves on his toast and starts the film complaining about Tina being too skinny and her ability to do things the way he wants and dissed her ability to make a 4 minute egg to their bratty daughters (all the combined bratty traits of Nancy and Mike Wheeler and none of the intelligence, empathy, and passion that drives these characters). 

The lesser known Barbra Striesand vehicle Up the Sandbox opens up with one mother telling another: “I’ve read all the child psych books. To be a good mother you gotta learn to eat shit” (few shit has changed it seems). Based on an novel by Anne Roiphe, the story focuses on Margaret a mother of two who loves her kids but wants to do more than stay home and is....pregnant again. She has wild fantasies that makes Doug Funnie look less...funny like debating with Fidel Castro about the status of women and having a love affair with him and blowing up the Statue of Liberty with Black militants or presumably confronting her husband’s secretary/co-worker if she’s having an affair with him. After they went to a party where busty young women fell over him because he was so interesting and he made a dismissive comment about a female Ph.D candidate who wanted to have one kid and go back to work, is where Margaret tells him off:

A woman like me works twice as hard, and for what? Stretch marks and varicose veins. You’ve got one job, I’ve got ninety-seven. Maybe I should be on the cover of Time---dust mop of the year, queen of the laundry room....(where she can’t live up to his colleagues or her mother) I’m a zero, a nothing” and when he said she can do more and be happy, she tells him off more “Did more? I sew. I squeegee. I spend hours waiting in line for a sale on baby sandals just to save a few pennies...I’m an errand boy, a cook, a dishwasher, a cockroach catcher, and you say I’d be happy if I did more.” Karen, spin that shit!

Women’s magazines had a new challenge: so you gave advice for decades about how moms can beat diaper rash, crochet covers for your toilet seats, and make a birthday cake in the shape of a character your kid liked but now there are sentiments challenging the conventions of marriage and parenthood, what do you do?

In 1973, Redbook magazine had a poll saying 9/10 respondents knew women earned less than men for the same work, 3/4 thought the media degraded women, a large majority believed women were second-class citizens, and 2/3 supported the Women’s Movement. Also more of them were working or joining the workforce, even with small children and more were divorcing and looking for childcare and to pay the bills and wanted a break. The shithead experts said no the latter. 

Mom’s can’t be overprotective but protective enough.

You can’t be over-attentive in your kid’s lives but make them feel loved and always wonderful.

You need them to be independent, but always taken care of.

Can’t be too strict or permissive.

You need to be light-hearted.

Those were the rules many mothers of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers were under (and still the same now). Dr. Spock was singled out, he was the most influential of these experts with his famous book coming out in 1946 (the first year of the Baby Boom) and his advice dominated the magazines in the 1950s and 1960s. He dished out mom guilt for working outside the home or not weaning babies before they were one year olds and that leaving kids with a “mother substitute” would make them needy (so not even date night?). Also you had to be bonding with your kids properly (all while moms were dealing with doctors up against the natural childbirth movement) and even an hour may not be enough. Also normal women were sad when kids weaned themselves off the breast! Any misstep in your kids will fuck them up!

In Part Two, I will go over Bruno Bettelheim and the backlash against the Women’s Movement and the revolution in Motherhood.

#The Mommy Myth #Susan J Douglas #meredith michaels #Motherhood #motherhood in media #1970s #The Womens Movement #Feminism #women in media #Womens History #Stranger Things #Mad Men #The Marvelous Mrs Maisel #Trudy Campbell #Karen Wheeler #Joyce Byers #Midge Maisel #Barbra Striesand #Up the Sandbox #1970s Cinema #Diary of a Mad Housewife #Jenny Lorenzo #Flor Jenny Lorenzo

[theflirtmeister]

i say it very quietly

Mark Hoffman/Adam Faulkner-Stanheight - NSFW - Saw Franchise

Mark gets back to the safe house in the middle of the night, his fingernails caked with blood and a new bruise blooming on his temple. The latest victim; white male, late thirties, serial cheater, had put up a fight at being kidnapped, and Mark had almost killed the man beating him into submission.

Kramer won’t be happy, but the job was done, and that’s all that matters.

He kicks off his shoes at the front door so that Amanda will hopefully fall and break her neck on them in the morning, then pads up the stairs. If Kramer wasn’t here, he’d be making as much noise as possible, stomping, swearing, but the old man is dying in the ground floor bedroom, stinking up the place with his rotting flesh.

read the rest on ao3 here

#Hoffheight #Pipeshipping #saw fic #kinkvember #there is chainshipping in this but uhhh don't read this fic if you like fluff #kinkvember 2023

[joealwyndaily]

so the other night i was re-reading Joe’s interviews and thought it would be cute to put together a little list of some random facts that we’ve learned about him, so here it is, enjoy! 💛

he likes peppermint tea

he listens to rap music and Lykke Li (and a bit of everything)

he loves Christmas

he likes pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, and olives

he likes steak and chips

Spider Man movies are the superhero movies he’s most consistently watched

he used to play rugby but stopped due to a shoulder injury

his favourite colour is blue

he’s a night owl 🦉

he can wiggle his ears

growing up he had a lot of pets, from mice to tortoises, fish and guinea pigs

he has a dog named Flint

he prefers London over New York

his favourite movies are On the Waterfront, Boogie Nights, Romeo & Juliet, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

He likes Paul Thomas Anderson a lot

He loves Jim Carrey’s work

if he wasn’t an actor he’d like to be a spy 😎

Ben Whishaw, Mark Rylance, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Daniel Day Lewis, and Marlo Brando are his favourite actors

as a child he loved The Mask of Zorro and probably drove his mom crazy by carving little zeds all over their house

he took fencing lessons as a child

first album he bought was What’s The Story (Morning Glory) by Oasis

he celebrated his 24th birthday in the States while auditioning and doing screen tests for Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (they did get him a cake!)

he likes the TV shows The Bridge and Fargo

his favourite TV show is The Office (the British version)

his favourite emojis are 👍and 🤦‍♂️and 💃🕺

he wants to travel to Tokyo

his pet peeve is people who walk really slowly on the tube

he’s not very interested in reality TV

in his spare time, some things he likes to do is spend time with his mates, play football, exercise, go for walks, visit galleries, and go to the pub

he loves to read

#joe alwyn #cute things #if you have anything to add please let me know!

[1dfangirls35]

Voir Dire (NH):

A fake dating OU about contracts, soulmates, and risking it all for love.

one

two

Kelsey hated being late. And today she was late, later then she had ever been to her shift at Manhattan, the up-scale and overpriced bar in Los Angeles that she had been employed at for nearly three months now.

She knew she would be cutting it close, but you couldn't exactly tell your current boss that you might be late because you are interviewing for a slightly better paying job now could you?

It wasn't the type of job Kelsey had ever imagined applying for, but considering the extremely high cost of living in Los Angeles, and her extremely low wages as a bartender at the Manhattan (even including the very generous tips), she hadn't had much of a choice. These days her own earnings were all that were getting her by, and by getting by she meant living on a diet of mainly ramen noodles and cereal. 

"How was the interview?" Maya, Kelsey's favorite co-worker, asked as Kelsey slid behind the grey granite-topped bar to begin slicing limes. Maya was the only one that knew about the interview and Kelsey wanted to keep it that way, especially with the way her luck was turning out these days.

Kelsey had always considered herself lucky. She had been blessed with supportive parents, fantastic friends, and a will to do whatever she set her mind to. She had it all together...until she didn't.

Like some stroke of bad luck, Kelsey had went from a girl with a picture perfect family to a girl whose family was being ripped apart by an affair. She went from the girl who had the most tight-knit group of friends the world had seen, to a disastrous falling out with her best friend over the boy Kelsey had always pictured herself walking down the aisle to. And to put the icing on the cake, Kelsey had went from the girl with every academic accomplishment in the book, to a girl that wasn't accepted into law school because of her extremely poor LSAT score.

So Kelsey found herself three months post-college graduation, working as a bartender, living alone in the big city of Los Angeles, just trying to find ways to make ends meet so that maybe in a year she would be accepted into her dream law school- Stanford University. The bartending job was only supposed to be temporary, but considering the lack of lucky breaks in Kelsey's recent life, she was beginning to think the gig might be slightly more permanent.

Kelsey shrugged as she turned to Maya. "It went fine, but you know if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out." Kelsey moved on to unloading the dishwasher, the heat of the glass leaving a slight sting on her fingertips.

"You're going to get into law school Kelsey. I know you will," Maya set a hand of encouragement on Kelsey's shoulder, before joining in the joyous task of unloading glasses. "I mean think of all the connections you've made so far, the Manhattan clientele are not your average Joe's."

Maya was in fact right about that. The Manhattan was exclusive in every form of the word. Instead of a bar filled with drunk college students, raging alcoholics or lonely old men, it was filled with CEOs, celebrities and those of the upper class looking for a drink to take the edge off.

And Kelsey had made connections. She'd served a bottle of $300 wine to one of the top estate lawyers in the city, called a cab for the defense attorney of choice for celebrity "mishaps", she'd even run into a few politicians- Stanford law grads themselves.

They'd tipped nicely, they'd asked her what had brought her to the city, they'd even offered their words of wisdom a few times. But were they going to take the girl in the bar pouring their precious drinks seriously? Did they really believe this girl had what it took to get into law school? Absolutely not- they'd go back home, to their wives or their coworkers and they'd laugh about the bartender who thought mixing drinks was going to be her gateway into winning cases.

"I'm just trying to be realistic," Kelsey sighed, reaching to pull her chocolate brown hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. 

"When did realism get anyone anywhere," Maya said with a roll of her brown eyes. Maya was a dreamer. Like many people that came to Los Angeles, Maya had made the journey in hopes of getting her big break in music. She was good; a gifted singer, but in a place like Los Angeles being good wasn't good enough, you had to have connections. Despite the numerous demos Maya had snuck into the hands of Manhattan patrons against the explicit rules of management, she had yet to recieve her big break. 

"Speaking of 'realism'," Maya laughed. "The AMA's are coming up this weekend. Think we will get anyone good at the bar?"

Kelsey laughed. "You wish."

"I'm telling you girl, one day Beyonce herself is going to walk through these doors and get her hands on one of my highly prized demos. Mark my words." Kelsey rolled her eyes at her friend's daydream. Maya wouldn't want to be hanging out with someone as unlucky as Kelsey if she wanted that to happen.

"Opening in five ladies," Tom, the head bouncer announced from his perch in front of the glass double doors. Kelsey and Maya nodded in understanding.

"Maybe Beyonce's waiting outside those doors?" Kelsey joked.

"Now who's the dreamer," Maya laughed and the two began a busy night of mixing drinks. 

***********************

Niall Horan was not an unfriendly guy. In fact, Niall prided himself on being one of the most down-to-earth celebrities- someone that would strike up a conversation with anyone. The last thing he wanted to be seen as was a diva.

But yet as he sat at the table across from a beautiful girl, with blonde-hair curled in perfectly symmetric waves, he couldn't even bring himself to form as much as a smile. He couldn't find the words to form a single polite question. All he could do was stare, and think about how he had even gotten himself into this mess, seated at a table with a girl that he knew absolutely nothing about.

Her name was Krystal Hoffman, and he was supposed to be in love with her. There was nothing obviously wrong with Krystal; she was pretty, polite, and confident. Although Niall had only met her a few minutes ago, he could already tell she wasn't someone that wouldn't be intimidated by the spotlight. He knew that because of the way she had looked him straight in the eyes when they shook hands and the way she had boldly introduced herself to each and every member of the Capitol team. Niall supposed it had something to do with the fact that she was an aspiring actress.

There was nothing wrong with Krystal except for the one thing that was completely wrong-she wasn't the love of Niall's life like she was pretending to be. She was a means to his end, a publicity stunt. Much like he would be the same to her, a way to get noticed.

Krystal cleared her throat, obviously seeking to break the awkward silence that has fallen between the two. "So the AMA's are this weekend right? I'm sure that's a pretty big deal."

Niall nodded politely. "Yup."

"Why do I get the feeling you don't like me very much?" Krystal asked bluntly, her eyes didn't waver as they caught Niall's gaze.

Niall sighed. This is what he didn't want to happen. It was the first day and the girl already thought he hated her. "It's not that I don't like you, to be honest I don't even know you. I just don't like the idea of you, you know a fake girlfriend and all."

"Don't worry, this is strictly business for me as well. I'm just trying to make my big break is all." Krystal offered Niall a polite smile. Niall could tell the poor girl was trying, I mean it couldn't be easy, being thrown in a room with a pop star and told to get to know them. Most people would be afraid to even ask as much as a question. He had to at least give her that, she was trying.

"Well let's start with the facts. Better get brushed up on these sorts of things before the red carpet," Niall sighs, flipping over to the first page in the one inch packet that more so resembled a small novel. He watched Krystal's eyes go wide at the mention of the red carpet. He supposed a word that had come to be the norm for him was likely a dream of hers. After all it had been his once too- heading to awards shows dressed to the nines.

That dream seemed like a distant memory to him now. His reality was far different than he had ever pictured it all those years ago when he had first applied for the X-Factor. If you had told him he'd be studying facts about a fake girlfriend before heading to the red carpet he would have laughed in your face.

"So according to my sheet we met on the set of my unreleased music video," Niall began, his eyes scanning the black font on the page. The papers in his hand hold a lot more information than he would have imagined. Making up a fake relationship required a lot more planning than Niall ever thought.

"The sparks were flying from the moment we started filming," Krystal added. Niall didn't see this on his paper but he nodded at it anyway. They must have picked the right girl for the job if she could make stuff like that off the fly with such ease. He could also now assume that his music video and first single have been pre-picked for him. Yet another thing out of his control.

"Do you have experience with this? This whole being a fake girlfriend thing?" Niall asked suddenly. He had the bad habit of saying whatever came to his mind, sometimes not with the best of timing.

"I've never been someone's fake girlfriend before no," Krystal laughed, twirling a strand of her long blonde hair through her fingers. "But I'm an actress, so it's really just another role for me."

"I'm sure you'll be great," Niall said with a polite smile, and Krystal returned her gaze to the papers in front of her.

"So where am I from?" Krystal asked.

"'cuse me?" Niall asks, not quite understanding why Krystal was asking him where she was from. He didn't know that, he'd only just met the girl.

"You've got to know where your girlfriend's from silly," Krystal giggled. "You have a lot of studying to do."

Niall sighed. "Guess I do." The idea of having to study facts about someone else was enough to make him cringe. Why couldn't they just play the whole unconfirmed relationship card? Why did the whole stunt have to be so detailed?

"Think we better call it for the day, I've got some people I need to meet with," Niall said, standing from the table and pushing in his chair.

Krystal stood as well, pulling down her mini skirt and then fluffing her hair. "Well it was nice to finally meet you, boyfriend."

Niall offered his hand out for a polite handshake. Krystal instead crosses the gap between him and brings them into a hug. "If your gonna play the part, I'm afraid your going to have to show a little more affection than a handshake."

Krystal pulled away. "See you Saturday then."

"See you Saturday," Niall replied with a polite wave. He hoped Saturday would never come.

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Combined chapters 2 & 3 from my Wattpad version, so if you’ve ever looked there don’t be confused!

#voirdire #writingby1dfangirls35 #1dff #niall fanfic #niall horan