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killianmesmalls · 6 years

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Be Prepared

Hopefully just the first of a few entries from me today to round out WHookWeek. Thanks to those who put it on and everyone who participated! This is an offshoot of my white elephant AU series And Who Knows which has Rogers and Tilly aware of their father/daughter relationship.

Summary: After watching The Lion King with Tilly on his first night in the police academy, Rogers finds himself explaining that he may not be able to be around forever.

Words: 1444

Notes: Includes lyrics to a song that randomly popped into my head as I woke up this morning and started this nonsense. I don’t usually do song fics, but for anyone who is a Billy Joel fan and wants KnightRook feels, here you go (links to the video for “Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)”.

“We’re pals, right?”

“Right.”

“And, we’ll always be together, right?”

He recalled being a punk teenager in one of his rotating foster homes the last time The Lion King had graced his screen, a clamshell VHS tape back then rather than Blu Ray disc. The format wasn’t the only change since then, since a movie night care of an overeager, not-yet-jaded foster mother who thought showing a bunch of orphans a film about losing a parent and running away was a good idea.

Not that he had room to talk. He’d decided his first day at the police academy was a good day to remind his Tilly of the harsh realities of mortality.

She curled into his side during the villain-monologue-song of “Be Prepared”, eyes latched onto the action while her tiny, five-year-old frame burrowed under the blankets. “He’s a very bad lion,” she announced.

“He certainly is,” replied Rogers, hating that he was relieved when the commentary stopped there. She knew now he would be going against “bad lions” as soon as he was out of the academy and out in the streets.

She’d already marveled at his gun before he threatened hanging her outside by her toes if she so much as attempted to climb to the highest cabinet, unlock it, unlock the lock box, and figure out how to load the damn thing. Rogers wasn’t taking chances with her. He was a bit concerned at how entertained she was by his handcuffs, but he supposed that was a fear for later years. As of yet, he’d only had to briefly explain about how he was hoping to be a good guy like in some of the movies and shows they watched, and he’d do everything he could to take down the villains and emerge triumphant for the end credits.

Only, sometimes end credits come earlier for some people.

Once the film’s own credits started to roll after the closing loop on the “circle of life”, Rogers turned off their tiny TV and lifted his droopy-eyed munchkin into his arms.

“Time for all good cubs to go to bed,” he said, allowing her to nuzzle her head into his shoulder. He had her go through the nightly routine—teeth brushed, face washed, business cared for, and tucked into bed. He could see the light through the trees, the choosing of a story spelling he was out of the woods.

Until…

“If Mufasa could not be around forever, does that mean you can’t be? He had a bad guy and you are going to have bad guys.”

Bloody hell.

Rogers heaved a deep sigh, then forced a smile and took a seat next to his Tilly/blanket burrito. “I can try my best to be, but sometimes bad things happen in this world.”

“Like with your brother?”

“Aye, love. Though, not all bad things happen because of bad people. Sometimes, bad things just happen, like with your grandma, or like in Cinderella when her parents got sick. We can do everything in our power to make sure we’re safe, but it’s impossible to prepare for everything.”

She mulled over his words, and he could see a little of her security crumble, the sight of her eyes making his chest clench. Maybe she had been too young for that film. Hell, maybe he was stupid for joining the academy, to hell with his motivations with his brother or indebtedness to Weaver. Tilly needed to come first, and how could he guarantee she would if there was a chance something would go wrong in the line of duty?

“But, you’re going to be helping fight bad guys like Scar?”

“I’m going to do my best to.”

She nodded and he could see a few gears turning in her head, her little teeth nibbling on her lower lip. He put his arm around her and squeezed her into his side. “Whatever question you’re thinking, you are welcome to ask it. You know I could never get angry with you for wanting to know something.”

“I, uh,” she started, resting her head against him, “I want you to be here. I’m scared. I don’t want you to get pushed off a cliff.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing there aren’t any cliffs in Seattle, huh?” he tried, giving her a wink and a teasing nudge, though it did little to improve her mood. He definitely wasn’t going to remind her that high-rises were a thing. For not the first time, and certainly not the last, Rogers was confronted with just how unprepared he was with some, if not most, aspects of fatherhood.

He squeezed her tight again then suddenly recalled a song he’d heard when he realized his high school harpy girlfriend was pregnant and his life was about to turn a total one-eighty. He’d listened to it over and over after he found out they were having a little girl, and had sung it to his Tilly even after it was just the two of them in a studio apartment filled with second-hand nursery furniture and donated formula.

“How about a song instead of a story today? It’s been a while since we’ve had a song,” he chanced, and breathed a sigh of relief at her nod.

Rogers leaned back against her headboard, Tilly now almost fully into his lap, and he struggled to remember the first note. Then, all at once, the tune came flooding back to him.

“Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes And save these questions for another day I think I know what you've been asking me I think you know what I've been trying to say I promised I would never leave you Then you should always know Wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away”

Instantly he was brought back to that time of panic, barely past tenth grade and suddenly a six-pound squalling infant relied on him for absolutely everything. He couldn’t even take care of himself, how would he be able to take care of her? Then, he had looked down at her, scrunched red face and all, and knew he could figure it out. Even now, with all the unknown that came with him starting “school” again just as she was doing the same, him trying to make a career for himself so she had someone to be proud of, he knew he’d do his best to ensure her health and happiness.

And, if some bad man decided that his best wasn’t enough, he’d take steps to know she’d be in good hands. She wouldn’t have to run away, she wouldn’t be left in the cold and forgotten the way he had been.

“Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep And still so many things I want to say Remember all the songs you sang for me When we went sailing on an emerald bay And like a boat out on the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart You'll always be a part of me”

He sensed her breathing evening out against him and looked down to see her eyes closing. The sight filled him with another burst of affection and relief. Though his life had changed drastically with her introduction into his life, and he could imagine it would continue to change as he attempted daily to make her proud and give her a “good guy” to look up to, he wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Though they both knew now he couldn’t promise to be with her forever, he move mountains to be sure she had no worries as long as possible.

Gently shifting to have her lie down fully on the bed, her hair wild on her pillow and her blankets tucked under her chin, Rogers let his voice get soft and breathy. Just as it had done all those years ago and just as he hoped it would do for more to come as he kissed her goodnight and reassured her. Mortality was something they had to be prepared for, but every day he’d fight like hell to get back to her. And, for that chance it wouldn’t be enough, he’d fill her mind with hope that her life could continue on.

“Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream And dream how wonderful your life will be Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby Then in your heart there will always be a part of me Someday we'll all be gone But lullabies go on and on They never die That's how you and I will be”

#whookweek #knightrook #knightrook ff #out s7 ff #ouat au ff #wish hook

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