#mafuyu only has one self and its the empty slate

[knightartorius]

discussion of mental health and self harm in detail //

i used to be so big on the idea of ‘sadkasa’ but people have completely taken the concept and beaten it with a bat.. the term sadkasa alone is being used to simplify the idea if tsukasa having self esteem issues and a dangerously altruistic mindset just to him being sad or upset and its like missing the point completely. tsukasa isnt “sad” and he doesn’t let himself cry but thats just another way mental health manifests. but also like, you dont have to be sad to self harm. and you can also self harm in unconscious ways. a lot of people are shocked when uncovering traumas in therapy because they admit to unconscious self harming such as descriptions of overworking themselves or engaging in escapism. masking uncomfortable emotions can be a form of self harm and its quite evident in tsks case that he isnt letting himself vent and feel upset because he feels as though its a burden to others and his goals. hes also constantly working on shows and entertaining others, and it doesnt go away when he gets home. id say tsukasas home is the place where this manifests the worst because he has an obligation to saki. saki is where all of this stems from, wanting to make her smile. his positivity is toxic and we can even see it in hinamatsuri when tsks chooses not to acknowledge saki’s uncomfortableness with the idea of new hina dolls because he thinks it will make her happy. also acting like tsukasas positivity is fake is untrue, it clearly waivers but he truly believes that putting his best self forward makes others happy—pop in my heart shows the reinforcement of the cycle of dangerous self improvement because when someone around him is upset or uncomfortable, he pushes his feelings further and further back and separating his self from his person.

#kstposts #i have no idea how to end this #ill probably update this later with a conclusion but like #end this 25ji sadkasa cry sad and enjoy his real mental health struggles #prsk spends so long letting us understand the mentals of these characters #like my depression is not like kanades depression #but i see my struggles in characters like tsukasa #and honami and mizuki #but also at the end there #i didnt wanna include this bc its a tangent but #it ties into the parallels to mafuyu where they both seemingly have two separate selves but i disagree? #mafuyu only has one self and its the empty slate #and tsukasa only has one self but its because you cannot separate his person #idk i was just thinking about it