#m.tlt

[camplease]

i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!

and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt

and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?

except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?

like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything

and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!

ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn

#ianthe tridentarius #the unwanted guest #naberius tern #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #ianthe naberius #tridentarii #cw ianthe #m.tlt #tlt #anyway #† #i say all of this when actually i may be entering my ianthe apologist era i have a whole in defense of essay in my head that #i haven’t been up to articulating so far 🤡 #like boo hoo poor her but like also KIND OF MAYBE IDK IDK LISTEN IM JUST SAYING #people have so much sympathy for harrow because of her childhood trauma but i feel likeeee. ianthe’s childhood sounds profoundly fucked and #neglectful even from the small glimpses we’ve gotten into it so far #doesn’t excuse her at all and also yes obviously harrow has taken concrete steps towards becoming a better person even having spent less #time being an adult i'm not discounting that at all i'm not saying they're exactly the same #just ALSO! #you know etc etc i’ll get to it eventually maybe