#literally one of the most friendly little beasts i know!!! give em a follow!!!

[mst3kproject]

1110: Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

I only saw this episode once, while I was on my two-day binge back when season eleven first debuted – and by then I was kind of running out of binge-watching oomph, because I don’t think I paid much attention to it.  If I had, I wouldn’t have been so blindsided by shit like the mermaid and her rainbow bridge or the flying lion-centaur whatchamafuckit.  Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is depressingly cheap and desperately amateurish, but it's also unbelievably fucking weird.

There’s a great evil abroad in the land or something.  The Castle(TM) is Attacked and the resident Bearded Wizard(TM) gives his son the Callow Youth(TM) a Magical Ring(TM) to keep safe – but of course the stupid kid drops it on the way out.  After gathering a few allies, slaying a few monsters, and dabbling in casual necromancy, the boy sneaks back into the castle to retrieve the ring and do wizardly battle with the bad guy.  The day is saved, the princess is rescued, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  The music attempts to convince us that this is epic and exciting, rather than corny and embarrassing.

I have rarely felt as bad for a group of actors as I did watching Wizards of the Lost Kingdom.  I kept wanting to hide behind the couch so I wouldn’t have to look at the expressions on their faces as they humiliate themselves by being in this movie.  Even Crabby the Crab Hat doesn’t want to be here.  The whole thing looks like a third grade class put on a play starring everybody’s parents.  The only person who gets out with any shred of dignity is whatever poor bastard was hiding under the Gulfax suit… oh, no, wait, no he didn’t, because according to IMDB the same actor also played Dad the Wizard.

Let’s look at our characters.  There’s our hero Simon, who is about thirteen and seems to be familiar with the concept of a quest but would probably much rather be reading a book somewhere.  His buddy is Gulfax, a dude who paid way too much for his alpaca fursuit.  Kor the Conquerer is supposed to be a troubled alcoholic mercenary, but he really does look like Gordon Ramsay except not as badass. The wicked queen dresses like she’s trying to look sexy for the Swamp Thing.  Princess Aura acts like your nine-year-old sister parading around in one of those Disney Princess gowns.  The bad guy is less impressive than his own fashion accessories and can disintegrate people except when it would be inconvenient for the plot.  Simon can disintegrate people, too, but saves it for non-humans despite the fact that they’re shown to be sentient.

Then there’s what all these people actually do. Despite a much more kid-friendly tone, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is a lot like Ator: the Fighting Eagle.  Both movies present us with characters who are supposedly on a heroic quest, but all we see is them wandering around the woods while random things happen. When I tried to describe this film to a co-worker, I realized I could talk about the various incidents in whatever order I liked, because none of them really contribute to the plot or even connect to each other.

Take, for example, the bit where Kor is captured by the cyclops who wants him to marry his sister (the cyclops’ sister, that is.  Wizards of the Lost Kingdom isn’t that much like Ator).  It comes and it goes, and that’s it.  Kor had earlier said he didn’t know who this mysterious bucket-helmeted figure was, and Simon pouts a bit because that was a lie. It really, really doesn’t feel like the major betrayal the script wants us to think it was.  It comes across as the cyclops’ sister being an embarrassing ex-girlfriend Kor just didn’t want to talk about, and he and Simon argue for thirty seconds and then hug and make up, completely negating whatever small emotional impact the whole thing might have had.

Or how about the part where Simon straight-up raises the dead? In most fantasy settings that would be considered a turn down a dark path, with far-reaching consequences for both the plot and the character development.  In Wizards of the Lost Kingdom the corpses get up and basically tell Simon to get fucked because they want to rest, and then crawl back into their graves.  This is a world where black magic exists and can claim your soul, but apparently necromancy isn’t in that category.  All that happens is Kor tells Simon to respect the dead more.

What about the bit where Simon realizes the bad guy and his Crab Hat are spying on them through a magical birdbath?  The kid casts a spell that makes the water explode in the evil dude’s face so he can’t see them anymore, but this has no plot consequences because a scene or two later the bad guy has simply re-filled the birdbath and is watching them again.  Why did we even need to see that?  Why did we need the bit with the little gnome dude who enables Kor’s alcoholism? The drinking is never a plot point because this is a kids’ movie (unless marrying the cyclops’ sister was something Kor promised to do while drunk), and the gnome promises to re-join them for the climax but when he does he just watches.

How about the part where Kor tries to save a drowning topless blonde woman in the weirdly orange river (this is the only place where I can definitely identify a shot MST3K cut, since we got one very brief look at her tits)? She vanishes only to reappear on a rock with one of those mermaid tail blankets over her legs, telling them she was testing their manhood to see if they were worthy of her help!  They were, so she creates a rainbow for them and tells them to follow their hearts across the river!

Uh.  Okay. So I can see how Kor was worthy, since he jumped in and all, but Simon stood on the shore yelling at him to stop because it’s too dangerous.  Shouldn’t his unmanly ass get left behind?

Unquestionably, however, the weirdest thing in the movie is the fucked-up trippy vision Simon has while bug-woman plies him with drink and flower petals.  This scene fascinates me.  So there’s a bunch of Satanists sacrificing women on a spray-foam altar, while a voice tries to tempt Simon to the dark side.  In response, he summons up the ‘forces of good’ to deal with the situation, and they appear in the form of this stop-motion… chimera… thing. Imagine a lion centaur, only both the horse part and the human part are lions, so it’s like a six-legged, two-torsoed leonine centipede abomination, but instead of arms on the upper set of shoulders it has weird veiny bat wings.  It hovers there snarling while the Satanists complete their sacrifice, which summons a giant floating semi-transparent head in some scaly makeup.  The head makes faces and breathes green fire, until the lion thing glares cartoon lightning at it and it explodes.

What the actual unmotivated fuck. What even was that? I want to say it’s demonstrating that Simon is pure of heart and can’t be tempted to evil but like ten minutes later he’s raising the fucking dead.  What the hell is with the lion monster?  Is it a metaphor for something?  Is it saying that the forces of good can be just as terrifying as those of evil, like how if you read descriptions of angels they actually look like beasts from your nightmares?  Was it actually supposed to be pretty and the model-makers just weren’t up to the task? What am I looking at?

Did anybody actually realize how weird this all was?  One does get the impression that the writers were just scribbling down whatever bullshit came into their heads without regard for continuity or anything.  Can we have a mermaid in our movie?  Sure, why the hell not.  Zombies? Awesome, everybody loves zombies, throw ‘em in there.  A garden gnome?  A goat-man playing the pan flute?  A jilted cyclops with a spiral perm?  Absolutely, the more, the merrier!  Concepts!

And yet for all that, the single worst failure of writing in Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is the anticlimax of the ending.  Through the whole movie everybody’s been looking for the Ring of Magic, which makes the wearer all-powerful.  One of the wicked queen’s dwarves (played by actual little people who should all have been paid double for being in the same movie where the queen says we’re running out of dwarves) finds it, but Simon snatches it back a moment later and goes out and saves the day.  Of course he does – he’s all-powerful.  It’s a foregone conclusion.  The only tension comes from wondering how many of those kids who were freed from prison are gonna get swords in the gut while Simon worries about making pretty special effects in his wizard’s duel.

One last bit of illogical crap.  After the battle, Kor wanders off to go back to his ‘itinerant boozehound’ gig, and tells Simon to be a good king.  Uh… Simon’s not gonna be king.  The rightful heir is Princess Aura, who’s literally right there.  Simon can marry her and be royal consort if she still likes him once they’ve both been through puberty.  Is there a law in this kingdom that if you save the day you get to be in charge?  That does seem to be where the last guy got his throne… and yet I have a faint suspicion that the writers just assumed Simon would rule instead of Aura because he’s got a penis and she doesn’t.

All that may have given the impression that I hate this movie but I really don’t.  Wizards of the Lost Kingdom just isn’t worth the effort.  Instead I just pity this movie and everybody in it.  Every last one of them did a terrible job, and yet they still all deserved better.  On every possible level, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is truly less than the sum of its parts.

#mst3k #reviews #wizards of the lost kingdom #tw: incest #80s #just fuckin weird #everybody do the zombie stomp

[ganymedesclock]

I think a while ago you talked about how Pidge would be a Beast Tamer in a fantasy setting and Keith seems to often get compared to a knight in the show (shield&sword for bayard, assigned the knight pieces in the comic, etc) and we all know Allura's a (fairy) princess. So, based on the common troupes/character traits with certain fantasy roles, what do you think Shiro, Lance, Hunk and Coran would be?

Honestly I’d argue that Keith’s not really what I’d put as a knight in a pure high fantasy setting, so, I’m just going to go with a lot of my sensibilities/rough abilities that I sorted them into in Hallowed AU:

Pidge: Rogue (Beast master)

Not much to say here. Pidge offsets her own relative lack of staying power, reach, etc. with stealth, maneuverability, and tricky properties. It’s very popular to make her a wizard, but I’ve always thought it’d be interesting, rather than giving Pidge a massive font of magical power, for her to have a few very limited little magics, things she hasn’t had enough time to study or the materials to perfect since she’s on the road and on a mission, but a lot of experimentation and little flash grenades and glamours and sharp daggers. And probably poisons, too, considering her canon affinity for plant life coupled with, in this continuity, a fondness for cute little guys that just might be a little bitey if you aren’t her friend.

But of course, her bag of tricks is limited by necessity- she herself is small, slight, and not really kitted out for direct engagements. In this sense, the kind of creatures she’s liable to befriend fit nicely- she usually goes for the small ones, with the exception of Green- and even she’s small, nimble, and stealthy compared to her brethren. Just imagine Pidge fitting her faithful companion and steed with a set of saddlebags to carry all kinds of equipment and reagents without fear of them falling out if they run into trouble suddenly and need to launch evasive maneuvers.

Keith: Spellsword (Dark sorcerer)

What’s the point of having a long lost bloodline if it doesn’t give you spooky magic, right? Also, in a high fantasy setting, Keith is just set out to be a wizard. Boy’s a glass cannon, through and through.

My personal favorite spin on this is the idea of Keith’s capabilities being overwhelmingly self-taught, framing him as both kind of a prodigy, and in an awkward position since his particular brand of magic is really not socially acceptable or in fact, usually practiced by good people. Which, again, as a self-taught vagrant in the middle of nowhere puts him in just a bit of a pickle to explain himself to well-meaning local law enforcement.

No, if anybody’s a knight in here, it’s....

Shiro: Paladin (Mounted warrior)

Give him a hand-and-a-half sword, a shield with a royal crest, and some spiffy armor and just watch this guy sit straighter and carry himself as befitting a Defender Of The Realm, Ally of Justice, basically a faux-medieval superhero. While I like to reimagine the Lions in a fantasy setting as steeds, I can imagine Shiro and Black having a unique bond where they’re the most likely to actively wield proper cavalry tactics and fight more together than apart. Not that the others don’t fight together, but Shiro having like... actual training and an education in battlefield tactics and why you don’t leap over your allies’ shield wall when your enemies all have spears and you don’t wear armor, Keith.

The thing about knights is more than just Some Guy With A Sword, there’s a pretty big deal in most high fantasy about honor. “Chivalry” literally comes from the same root as cavalry, and while all of the team arguably fights for a higher, more noble cause, Shiro’s the kind of guy who I can see pursuing a career that lets him really dedicate his life to that higher cause, because frankly, whether or not he had a liege to serve and a sword in his hand, he’d be making a stand against injustice anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is, and when we have an obvious liege that would look favorably on that sort of thing, it’s pretty clear what the result is.

Lance: Bard (Longbow fighter)

Not only is Lance a quintessential support class- he very naturally and easily falls back to let other people shine and picks off enemies with rather fearsome precision from a cozy distance- he’s someone who loves people, and, frankly, has a rather effective way with them. No, he’s not the casanova he sort of pretends he is, but he’s an actor, a charmer, a showman, and specific to Hallowed AU, he might just have a pinch of supernatural assistance in that regard.

My first reflex as weapon of choice would be a crossbow, since it has a lovely silhouette very similar to canon Lance’s rifle, but the longbow spoke to me, because the thing about Lance, is he’s very not a prodigy. This is a major point of contrast between him and Keith- and yet on several occasions in canon, we’re shown that people who are hard to impress (Commander Iverson, and the Red Lion) find Lance worthy of standing where Keith, the actual prodigy, once stood. This tells us that Lance is a hard worker. 

The longbow is a very difficult weapon- they say to train a longbowman, you start with his grandfather. That saying, for me, makes me want to put one in Lance’s hands in a fantasy setting for what it implies- about him, about his family. That he started young, that he likely hails from a family of, perhaps even generations of, archers. And of course he’s not going to say that, acknowledge training until his fingers bleed, or anything like that- he’ll goof off and show off- but there’s a certain obvious respect just him having that weapon and using it effectively and when he notches an arrow, draws that fairly heavy bow back, and fires with deadly accuracy.

Hunk: Fighter (Alchemist)

Hunk seems commonly sorted as a cleric and while I can appreciate that, I think personally Hunk doesn’t have the kind of patience to pursue a skill set where he can’t barge up to the thing chewing on his friends, who he is trying to keep healthy, thank you very much, and crack ‘em solidly in the teeth. He certainly has the muscle of a frontline fighter, and I can see Hunk wielding a simple, but sturdy crooked staff.

The real danger comes in the fact that while Pidge has a foot in the magical and the alchemical, higher education likely pointing to a more aristocratic background- I can see Hunk being someone of humble roots who, out of a combination of necessity and curiosity, learned how to fix, stitch, patch, scratch, and brew, just about everything.

Hunk who smugly goes “Yeah, well, I’m no wizard, but if all you need to knock a wall down,” lights the fuse on a homemade tied-off little packet and lobs it to a satisfyingly sized explosion, or who heard you were picking a fight and brewed up a batch of greek fire for the occasion. He’d probably leave the poisons to Pidge, though- someone who takes as much pride in the culinary arts as he does isn’t going to sully his cooking with anything if he can help it.

Allura: Mage Knight (multiple weapons)

Allura’s handiness with the bladed whip makes a lot of sense as athletic royalty who has the time and leisure to acquire unusual weapons and train with them heavily, though supplementing her more eclectic decision with something as ubiquitous and versatile as a pikestaff means that even caught unarmed, she only needs to lay hands on the nearest broom, or whatever other straight, sturdy piece of wood is around to be seized.

Her being a sacred princess possessing a grand holy power able to work miracles with the right setup frankly needs absolutely no modification for a high fantasy setting except more practice and proficiency in it given it’s more common and ubiquitous in this sort of world. As a personal addition for fun in this setting, the mice are full-tilt shapeshifters able to reconfigure themselves into different forms for Allura’s needs- able to be anything from horses to handmaidens to small but aggressive dragons.

Coran: Spymaster (swordsman)

I sort of like the idea of largely nonmagical Coran, following in the wake of magic using Alfor and Allura, and yet in a context where Allura would be surrounded by a proper royal court and a lot more attendants and advisers, I’d make changes to make sure Coran properly stands out himself- because really, he’s the royal family’s steadfast blade in the dark. If there is anything they need, he’s the kind of person they can trust absolutely.

And absolutely nobody is going to suspect the older, foppish nobleman loudly recounting the time he got peas stuck up his nose to a vaguely disquieted audience is an obstacle to an assassination plot until he very politely rests a blade against their jugular and informs them that they’re going to have a friendly little talk, over there, in the room full of surly guards, about trying to drop unapproved things in the princess’s drink.

Because frankly having quick reflexes, a keen eye, and a couple of shortswords hidden up your sleeves is a very fast route to being plenty dangerous. 

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Shiro #Keith #Pidge #Lance #Hunk #Allura #Coran #Hallowed AU #readmore #fullmetaldude1

[lindyhunt]

7 of the Best Professional Bio Examples We've Ever Seen [+ Bio Templates]

  How to Write a Bio

Create an 'About' page for your website or profile.

Begin writing your bio with your first and last name.

Mention any associated brand name you might use.

State your current position and what you do.

Include at least one professional accomplishment.

Describe your values and how they inform your career.

Briefly tell your readers who you are outside of work.

Consider adding humor or a personal story as an extended version of your professional bio.

Is your professional bio as good as it can be?

In this article, we have seven real bio examples you should definitely compare yours to -- and a series of free bio templates you can use to perfect it.

Most people don't think about their professional bio until they're suddenly asked to "shoot one over via email," and have approximately one afternoon to come up with it. That's when we scramble, and our bio ends up reading like this:

Rodney Erickson is a content marketing professional at HubSpot, an inbound marketing and sales platform that helps companies attract visitors, convert leads, and close customers. Previously, Rodney worked as a marketing manager for a tech software startup. He graduated with honors from Columbia University with a dual degree in Business Administration and Creative Writing."

Woof, that was dull. Are you still with me? I swear, not even adding a tidbit about his cats would liven that bio up.

To be fair, in certain contexts, your professional bio does need to be more formal, like Mr. Erickson's up there. But in many cases, writing a bio that's readable -- even conversational -- is actually a really good thing. That means dropping that traditional format of listing your accomplishments like a robot and cramming as much professional-sounding jargon in there as you can.

Remember: The people reading your bio are suffering from information fatigue. If you don't hook 'em in the first line, you'll lose them quickly.

Alright, I know what you may be thinking ... So what? It's just a bio. 

(P.S. Want to give your professional brand a boost? Take one of HubSpot Academy's free certification courses. In just one weekend, you can add a line to your resume and bio that's coveted by over 60,000 marketers.)

Why Good Bios Are Important for a Professional

I mean, how many people actually read professional bios, anyway?

The answer: A lot of people. More importantly, though, there's no way to tell exactly who is reading it -- and you always want it to be ready for when the right people to come across it. And when they do, you want it to catch their eye. In a good way.

You see, while your resume is only useful for when you're actively applying for specific positions, your professional bio is much more visible. It can live on your LinkedIn profile, your company's website, your guest blog posts, your speaker profiles, your Twitter bio, and many other places.

And, most importantly, it's the tool that you can leverage most when you're networking.

Bottom line? People will read your professional bio. Whether they remember it, and whether it makes them actually care about you, is a matter of how well you present yourself to your intended audience.

So, what does a top-notch professional bio look like?

Below, we've curated some of the best real professional bio examples we've ever seen on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and the various websites where you might describe yourself.

Check 'em out, and use them as inspiration when crafting your own.

Best Bio Examples:

Ann Handley

Rebecca Bollwitt

Mark Gallion

DJ Nexus

Lena Axelsson

Mark Levy

Corey Wainwright

7 of the Best Professional Bio Examples We've Ever Seen

1. Ann Handley

Bio Platform: Personal Website

If you're a marketer, you've likely heard of Ann Handley. Her list of credentials is lengthy, and if she really wanted to, she could go on and on and on about her accomplishments.

But when people list out all their accomplishments in their bios, they risk sounding a little egotistical. Sure, you might impress a handful of people with all those laurels, but many people who read your bio will end up feeling either intimidated or annoyed. Think about it: Is that how you want the majority of your readers to feel when they read your bio?

To minimize the egoism that comes with talking about yourself, think about how you can list out your accomplishments without sounding like you're bragging. Ann does this really well, choosing a tone in her bio that's more approachable.

It starts with the excerpt in the footer of her personal website. Give it a quick read, paying close attention to the opening and closing lines:

"This is Ann Handley's website, and this is a bit of copy about her ... That's not giving you a lot of detail, is it? So read more here." This is the kind of simple, friendly language that invites the reader in rather than shutting them out.

Follow the link and you'll be led to a page dedicated to a fuller bio, which she's divided into two parts: a "short version" (literally a bulleted list of key facts) and a "long version," which includes traditional paragraphs. There's something in there for everyone.

2. Rebecca Bollwitt

Bio platform: Instagram

Instagram is a notoriously difficult platform on which to write a good bio. Similar to Twitter, you simply don't have room for a professional bio that includes everything about you. And because Instagram is primarily a mobile app, many viewers are reading about you passively on their mobile device.

Instagram's limited bio space requires you to highlight just your most important qualities, and blogging icon Rebecca Bollwitt does so in her own Instagram bio in an excellent way.

Rebecca's brand name is Miss604, and cleverly uses emojis in her Instagram bio to tell visitors exactly what makes her a valuable content creator. Take a look in the screenshot below.

Starting with a trophy emoji, Miss604 says she's won more than 30 awards for her blogging services. I haven't even looked at her pictures yet and the introduction of her bio has already sucked me in.

The rest of her bio follows suit, breaking up the text with an appropriate emoji and a perfect collection of nouns to tell me who she is as a person. She even links out to her husband's Instagram account after the heart emoji (an adorable addition), and assures her followers that all of her pictures are authentically hers.

Take a lesson from Miss604, and show your personal side. Just because you're branding yourself as a professional doesn't mean you have to take your human being hat off. Often your most personal attributes make for the best professional bio content.

3. Mark Gallion

Bio Platform: Twitter

As a venture capitalist and an executive at several start-ups, Mark Gallion has different versions of his bio all over the internet. You can imagine some are more formal than others. But when it comes to his Twitter bio, he carefully phrased his information in a way that helps him connect with his audience -- specifically, through the use of humor.

Why would he choose humor when he runs four start-ups and constantly seeks funding for them? Well, Mark's tactic is totally intentional: it's a lever he pulls to refresh his brand while maintaining his already impressive and established identity as an entrepreneur.

Mark leverages his Twitter bio because it’s place where he can be human. And it helps him relate to his followers and potential investors.

When crafting your own Twitter bio, consider your audience and the personal brand you're trying to create for yourself. Use it as an opportunity to be relatable. (And check out this list of amusing Twitter bios for inspiration.)

4. DJ Nexus

Bio Platform: Facebook

This New England-based DJ has single-handedly captured the Likes of more than 2,000 people in and beyond Boston, MA. And even if you don't listen to the type of music he produces, it's hard not to listen to his compelling Facebook bio.

Stage-named DJ Nexus, Jamerson's professional bio makes use of nearly every Page field inside the About tab. Right away, his audience knows which genres he plays in, where he's from, and who else he's worked with. The latter -- under "Affiliation," as shown in the screenshot below -- is unique and seldom mentioned in professional bios today.

Our favorite part about DJ Nexus's bio? His tagline, under "About" -- "Quiet during the day. QUITE LOUD at night!" DJ Nexus tells you when he works in an awesome way. I got goosebumps just imagining a dance club he might play his music in.

DJ Nexus's bio brilliance doesn't stop there.

The great thing about Facebook Business Pages is that you can write as much as you want without overwhelming your Page visitors. For those who just want Jamerson's basic info, they have the four categories shown above. For those who want to learn more about him, he tells an excellent story of his career. Here's just a preview of his story, below:

In this story, DJ Nexus describes both when he "became known as DJ Nexus" and a company he founded shortly afterward -- all before going to college. This is a terrific lesson for Facebook Businesses today: customers want to learn about you, and as Facebook increasingly becomes a place for meaningful interactions, there's no better place to tell your story than on your Facebook Business Page.

5. Lena Axelsson

Bio Platform: Industry Website

When it all comes down to it, your professional bio is no different than any other piece of persuasive copy -- no matter where it lives. One of the most common mistakes people make is thinking of it as its own beast, separate from other pieces of writing. If you think about it that way, you're far more likely to write something painfully uninteresting.

When you sit down to write your professional bio and you're watching that cursor blinking on the screen, think about how you would introduce a blog post. You don't just dive right into the meat of the thing, now, do you? No. You start with an introduction.

The best bios are often concise (around 200–300 words), so you don't have a lot of room to play around. But a single sentence that tees your reader up and provides context for the accomplishments that follow could make the rest of your bio that much more persuasive.

Take Lena Axelsson's bio, for instance. She's a marriage and family therapist -- a job where empathy and compassion are a big part of the job description. That's why she chooses to open her bio with a great introductory sentence: "When human beings experience trauma or severe life stressors, it is not uncommon for their lives to unravel."

Then, she goes into why she's passionate about her job, how she helps her clients, and how she caters her approach to each individual patient. The necessary educational information is left for the end, after the reader has been hooked.

Your bio doesn't have to be super serious, nor does it have to start with a joke. This bio shows how you can capture your reader's attention by being empathetic and showing how that empathy shapes a valuable professional.

6. Mark Levy

Bio Platform: Personal Website

Mark Levy is a small business owner who's taken a more traditional approach to the professional bio on his website -- but in a way that takes care to speak to his intended audience.

What we love about his bio is the way he's set it up: On his business' "About" page, he's listed two biographies, which he's labeled "Mark Levy's Biography #1" and "Mark Levy's Biography #2."

Click here to see the full version.

Like Ann, Mark's given his readers two different options. The first biography is a "short version," which includes a combination of bullet points listing his credentials and a few short paragraphs.

The second is the "long version," which is actually even more interesting than the first one. Why? Because it reads like a story -- a compelling one, at that. In fact, it gets really funny at parts.

The second sentence of the bio reads: "He was frightened of public school, loved playing baseball and football, ran home to watch ape films on the 4:30 Movie, listened to The Jam and The Buzzcocks, and read magic trick books."

Here's another excerpt from the middle:

Of course, the fantastic copywriting isn't a surprise, given that this guy wrote several books. But the conversational tone and entertaining copy let his quirky personality (and great writing skills) shine.

7. Corey Wainwright

Bio Platform: Blog Byline

Finally, we have Corey Wainwright, who's the director of content here at HubSpot. She's written content for HubSpot's Marketing Blog for years, and her blog author bio has caught my eye since before I ever started working for HubSpot. (Back then, it started with, "Corey just took a cool vacation.")

What I love most about Corey's bio is that it's a great example of how to deliver information about yourself without taking things too seriously. And in this context, that's totally appropriate.

Despite having a number of impressive accomplishments under her belt, she simply doesn't like displaying them publicly. So, she prefers making her author bio a little more "light."

Her bio (pictured below) reads, "Corey is a Bruce Springsteen fan who does content marketing, in that order."

It works in this particular context because, at HubSpot, our blog authors often prefer to make themselves as friendly and approachable as possible -- while letting the content speak for itself.

It helps that authors' social media accounts are located right below our names and above our pictures. For folks who really do want a list of Corey's credentials, they can click the LinkedIn button to go to her LinkedIn page. (You can read this blog post to learn how to create social media buttons and add them to your website.)

Want more? Read How to Write a Cover Letter That Gets You the Job [Bookmarkable Template + Examples].