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murder-by-sk8board · 2 years

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Anyways I was talking with my psych professor abt BPD stuff for my final paper and someone in my class mentioned "favorite person" and he'd never heard of it before. And after she'd explained it he connected it to the technical terms of idealization/devaluation and/or identification.

I think in Adam's case it's definitely closer to idealization/devaluation in reference to Langa being his "favorite person." But maybe a little bit identification as well. All of my information in this post is from my professor and the book Psychoanalytic Diagnosis by Nancy McWilliams.

Idealization is this idea that "some attachment figure is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent." That with this person they are "safe;" whatever "safe" means for them. "The more dependent one is, the greater the temptation to idealize." It is common and actually good on normal *low* levels but can be dangerous on extreme levels. With Adam, we can assume he has spent his whole life being told he's "better than" or "above" most others by his aunts and father. He desires someone that is equal to him on some level. In this case it's skating. He had someone equal or better to him once before: Tadashi. Devaluation is what follows idealization. "The more an object is idealized, the more radical the devaluation to which it will eventually be subject." When Adam's father burned his board and Tadashi "abandoned" him by not doing anything about it. (Reasonably so as far as we can see; but Adam cannot.) Tadashi went right back to being a lowly servant. Lesser than.

Adam idealized Tadashi because he taught him to skate and was so amazing at it. While his level of idealization wasn't quite as high as it was of Langa it was still pretty high. And when that all fell apart. His devaluation of Tadashi was just a great. He fell apart. Probably isolated himself while simultaneously searching for his new eve. For YEARS Tadashi was merely Adam's pet. Nothing more.

Adam continued searching for this special person that would be equal or greater to himself. Someone to idealize. When he found Langa, he projected these thoughts onto him. Thinking Langa was the One, he started to idealize the kid to and extreme level. Langa was living his life doing as he pleased mostly unaware of just how much Adam thought of him. (Adam's obsession and eventual spiral was completely out of Langa's control.) In Adam's eyes Langa was better than everyone in every way when it came to skating. He chose to race Reki because Reki was lesser then. Lesser than Adam for sure. And Lesser than Langa by an incredibly large margin. After the race it hit Adam: If Reki could possibly beat him so easily, then was Langa truly that amazing? He was angry and upset at both himself and Langa. Langa was supposed to be this amazing skater and yet Langa has let him down. His idealization of Langa was on an incredible level, so the devaluation of him will be equally as great. Thus, the Wedding Beef becomes a literal death race.

I highlighted "both himself" because extreme idealization and devaluation tie into narcissistic personality disorder. McWilliams says, "self-esteem strivings in people who need to idealize and devalue are contaminated by the idea that one must perfect the self rather than accept it." If Adam himself has the capacity to be perfect. Then so does Langa. He's projecting this perfectness onto Langa. And when he is proven wrong, it is Langa's fault. (Projection being defined my McWilliams as "the process whereby what is inside is misunderstood as coming from outside.")

Anyways, I'm going to go into far greater detail about all this in my paper. Let me know what you think!

I also think that he could definitely be experiencing Projective identification towards Langa, but I might make a different post about that. :)

#rys psych final #bpd adam #sk8 adam

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allekha · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on programs set to music by Igor Stravinsky and do you have any favorites among them? Also do you think his music is way to difficult to interpret in figure skating?

Hi! I'm actually not all that knowledgeable about music (most of what I know I learned from making fan videos and my beginner ice dance lessons), so I am probably not the best person to ask about this, but I'll try :)

As far as I know, of what he wrote, skaters pretty much only ever use Firebird - Tomoki did a program to Petrushka (Klimkin did too, but it was technically a composition by someone else, on whom I can find literally nothing, so I'm not sure what its exact relation to Stravinsky's Petrushka is - it sounds pretty similar to me?) and apparently Nathan used a bit of The Rite of Spring at one point.

The Rite of Spring is one that I can't really imagine ever being done well in skating. The music is weird and dissonant, sometimes literally painful to listen to, and the ballet is full of strange movements and a hypnotizing intensity. I mean, the original performance may not have literally caused a riot, but it still really upset people. You would need a choreographer and skater(s) willing to be just as transgressive when translating it to the ice to have a hope of making it work, and I honestly cannot see that happening for a competition program. Maybe for an exhibition, for a skater or team with good enough interpretive abilities and creativity.

Tomoki’s Petrushka isn’t brilliant either in terms of interpretation or choreography (or music cuts), though it did have some nice moments. I think portraying a puppet was also an interesting choice for him, considering that he is so flexible and tends to have trouble controlling that. Some of the simpler parts of the ballet sound quite skateable to me, though portraying a puppet effectively throughout a program would take some skill. Listening to the music makes me think Satton could pull it off.

The part of Firebird that always gets picked for programs is pretty difficult and demanding skating material, to be sure - it’s complex, unusual, kind of disturbing, and not visually forgiving to skating through it or half-assed arm waves - but I think there have been a few good programs to it: Watson & Oppegard. If you can deal with ‘80s music cuts, most of their skating matches the mood of the music, the exit on the first death spiral is interesting, and they have good lift positions. Yukari Nakano (video has a buzz, sorry; it was the best I could find :( ) She puts the ‘fire’ in ‘Firebird’, and the timing on her spins is great, especially the first one - it’s not often a spin gets to be one of the most exciting elements! (On a more shallow note, I absolutely love her costume.) Tatsuki Machida (my favorite of these). He feels like he truly gets the music. The choreo is complex enough to keep up with the more complicated parts, and he performs it with the commitment it needs.

Hope that answers your questions, anon!

#figure skating #(Mostly) text post

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soyouthinkyoucansleep · 5 years

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Battle of the Blades Episode 1 Review

For those who saw my earlier post, I got to go to the live taping of BOTB in Hamilton...my tickets were the front row (excluding VIP) so I got a really really good view! Here is my review of the show. I’m gonna talk about all of the couples in the order they skated. I was also gonna talk about the judges and some comments on the show overall but I’ll save that for another post since this is getting long.

A quick intro into the format. So during the commercial break, which is about 3 minutes, the skaters on deck get to warm up. For most of it, everyone focused on stroking with a few timers for lifts in there. The skaters are scored in the 10.0 system rather than 6.0 in the past which was a little weird. For today’s show, Tessa and Scott counted as one judge (they gave one score together). I felt like I was watching NCAA gymnastics for a bit. In the past, eliminations were based solely on viewer votes; the scores were just guidelines. Now like DWTS, its a combination of viewer votes and the judge's scores. The bottom two based on that will be required to compete in a skate-off next week and the winner of the skate-off is selected by the judges. Winner stays, loser goes home.

I went with my younger sister who is a figure skater so the technical comments come from her. It was great sitting with her to get that insight. Scroll below the cut for all my comments.

Natalie Spooner and Andrew Poje

They were the first ones to go so they had the pressure of setting the bar for everyone. Nat was away at Hockey Canada’s national team camp for about 8 days and she only got back to figure skating Monday morning, leaving three full days of rehearsals before the show.

Naturally, Natalie seemed very very nervous in this warm-up, almost looking like she was about to throw up. She kept looking at the ground while skating (a big no-no, as per my sister) and I noticed a few times Andrew reminded her to look up.

While the warm-up may have been a recipe for a bad skate, the routine was anything but! Nat had a huge smile on her face and seemed to have fun the entire time once the program got started. There was one major lift, a knee slide in there, and some footwork. Andrew and the choreographers did a good job adding a little mix of everything and they highlighted that Natalie was a strong skater (compared to many of the others). Completely forgot the fact that she’s hopping back and forth between hockey and figure skates because of her national team commitments.

They ended with 27.9 (9.3′s across the board) for T-3rd overall.

Colton Orr and Amanda Evora

Amanda is the reigning BOTB champion so there’s a little bit of expectation for her there. She’s skating for Boys & Girls Clubs of Canada in honour of a friend of hers who recently passed away (I think he’s the father of one of her students, Grace Knoop?)

Overall, they weren’t terrible but there wasn’t anything exciting about them. They did two lifts and a death spiral but the remainder mostly felt like stroking. Colton was also very right and like Kurt said, didn’t allow his lower body to move freely and separately from the upper body. Time could help with this but they were in last place with 27.4 (9.2 from Colby Armstrong, 9.1 from VM and Kurt). They will need the votes and potentially a good skate-off next week to be safe for week 3. My sister thinks they’ll be the ones to go home first and I agree with her.

Sheldon Kennedy and Kaitlyn Weaver

tw: abuse, sexual abuse

Sheldon’s intro piece focused on the abuse he suffered at the hands of his hockey coach Graham James. CBC did not shy away from the topic. They stated that Graham kept trading for Sheldon in the junior leagues so he could keep abusing him. The intro piece then showed how Sheldon took this terrible thing that happened to him and made it his life’s mission to educate the world and have these discussions so it doesn’t happen again.

What was truly amazing was how the crowd erupted in cheers for Sheldon at that part. It felt like the entire country of Canada is proud of Sheldon for the person he has become. I could see Sheldon getting a little emotional by that response.

They skated to Wake Me Up by Avicii which kinda tells the story of Sheldon wanting to run away from hockey to escape his abuse but found himself again and found joy in his life. And this routine was the literal definition of fun and joy. Sheldon and Kaitlyn had the biggest smiles on their faces and were both having the time of their life.

Not to take away from the fun, but they also skated probably the most difficult routine technically out there. There was an overhead lift. This is especially amazing considering Sheldon is only 5′10″ and Kaitlyn is 5′7″. Kaitlyn was not going easy on him and threw in a bit of the Yankee Polka pattern dance. YANKEE POLKA. AND they made sure to get the crowd involved too.

They received a well deserved, unanimous standing ovation. Like everyone was standing up, even the women with canes in the rows behind me. And they finished the night with 28.3 (9.4, 9.4, 9.5 from Kurt) in first place.

Amanda Kessel and Eric Radford

In the intro piece, you could see how much Amanda really looks up to her older brother Phil Kessel (Stanley Cup winner with Pittsburgh) and I think that’s so precious. She even chose Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto as her charity after seeing Phil bring the Stanley Cup to the kids and seeing their reactions and subsequently the work Sick Kids does for these children and their families.

Amanda and Eric skated to “Juice” by Lizzo so I was already excited for that. In terms of training footage, both Amanda and Eric posted a lot of lifts so I was excited to see what they were planning. They did do a fair number of lifts and a death spiral in there which were well executed. However, beyond that, I felt Amanda was very similar to Colton as she was very tight and rigid. Because she was the one being lifted, it was less noticeable compared to Colton–the lifts and tricks in a sense “broke apart” the tight skating. They ended in second last, with 27.7 (9.3 from Colby, 9.2 from the others)

Brian McGrattan and Vanessa James

Brian McGrattan is a Hamilton Native so this was a homecoming for him. He lives in Calgary now but a lot of family and friends were here supporting him. Brian discussed his struggles with anxiety and depression which lead to alcoholism. He then sought treatment through the NHL’s alcohol abuse program.

Side note: It’s amazing that CBC, and these hockey players, are not shying away from these difficult topics. Brian McGrattan is a 6′4″, big, tattooed, enforcer. If he can come out on national TV and say “hey I struggled with depression and anxiety and I sought help”, I hope that inspires other boys and men to not shy away from these problems. The stigma with mental health is stronger with men and boys and I think people like Brian can make a difference. So kudos to the players and CBC for having these topics.

The program overall was elegant and vulnerable which is a completely different side to what people are used to for Brian, but he pulled it off really well. Brian truly opened himself up and was committed to the program. Technically they had some amazing lifts and a good connection. Overall they scored 27.9 to tie for 3rd with Natalie and Andrew but the individual judges were all over the place a bit (9.4 from Colby, 9.3 from VM, 9.2 from Kurt)

Bruno Gervais and Ekaterina Gordeeva

I’m just gonna start off by saying Bruno Gervais is an amazing dude. Just out of the goodness of his heart essentially, he started a charity with his close friend Max Talbot (husband of former Canadian Ladies’ Champion Cynthia Phaneuf) which provides underprivileged children with opportunities, ranging from sports to funding hospitals. They started this charity together when both were just 23 years old!

Katia is a queen. That is all that needs to be said. She was referred to as the G.O.A.T. by Kurt and Ron MacLean many times throughout the night, and rightly so. Both of them worked with Elladj Balde a fair bit which was very helpful for them. Elladj is trilingual (English, Russian, and French)–Katia’s first language is Russian and Bruno’s is French so Elladj communicated with them in their respective mother tongues.

Elladj’s influence was seen at the beginning of the routine with Bruno busting out some [very good] dance moves. His skating was very fluid and relaxed and he was very comfortable with the lifts, even doing a “combination lift” per se which involved a lot of twists and turns. They got a partial standing ovation from the crowd, the only other team to do so. I forget their score off the top of my head but they were in second place, close to Sheldon and Kaitlyn.

So that’s my review of the skates...stay tuned tomorrow for comments on the judges and the show overall.

Also, my messages are open if you want to ask me about anything in particular!

#battle of the blades #botb #figure skating #battle is back #kaitlyn weaver #sheldon kennedy #andrew poje #natalie spooner #ekaterina gordeeva #bruno gervais #vanessa james #brian mcgrattan #colton orr #amanda evora #amanda kessel #eric radford

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yoolee · 6 years

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Ye Massive Tag-back Post

I have been tagged in stuff. I am slow. Apologies for anyone tagged in this XD

5 facts about me that literally know one needs to know

(tagged by @saizoswifey)

I get weirdly nervous in grocery checkout lines: I have no idea why. I don’t know if it’s like, the feeling of being trapped in a narrow space (if there’s someone behind you and ahead of you), or the like, awkward social chitchat that I am SUPER BAD AT or what but I get weird. I HAAAATE that the nearest grocery store to me does not have self check-out, and I put off grocery shopping to the last minute. I can improvise a speech in front of a crowd of hundreds, I can jump off high ladders, like, I’m not a naturally nervous person I swear I’m not. But grocery stores...

I once broke into an Irish autorepair shop: Sort of. It’s kind of a long story, but when I was a student in Cork like…8 years ago, they told me to stick to the flatlands and I took a wrong turn and got lost up in the hills and I kinda felt like these two guys who kind of showed up behind me were following me. I did the whole ‘take a couple of right turns’ and it went from two to four guys and I was getting more and more lost and just like NOOOOPE. And then there was trash can on fire and so I like, half-slid down a little cliff, and snuck through/over a chained shut fence and into what turned out to be a repair shop. There were three older guys sitting there eating pizza, and they just blinked at me so I burst out that hey, there was a trash can on fire (like that’s a reasonable reason to bust in, right?). They asked me if I was the one who set it on fire, I said no, they gave me pizza, we waited for the fire brigade. GOOD TIMES. That was the start of a super, super weird 72 hours.

I despise bananas in smoothies: DESPISE. They POLLUTE them, CONTAMINATING everything with awful, horrid, banana-ness. They are smoothie-ruiners. RUINERS. AWFUL, HORRIBLE, TERRIBAD INGREDIENTS OF EVIL. I like banana bread, and my mom’s banana cake, and can sometimes tolerate a banana-nut muffin, but they have no place in my strawberry-raspberry smoothies and they are intolerably smushy on their own. SHUDDER.

I have done a lot of super random jobs at least once: I’ve been a chemist, taught ballet to 6 year olds and figure skating to teens with special needs, charity auctioneer, corn shucker, lighting booth operator, teaching assistant, princess, storyteller, tutor, dining hall worker, medical transcriptionist, editor, corporate recruiter, automated tutorial/phone recording voice, corporate trainer, historical docent, term paper writer, contortionist, martial arts event coordinator, bookseller, video game voice, snake venom analyst (really that and perfumer were subsets of being a chemist, but, worth the callouts), there’s more but like, the list is long and random.

Last time I was in the airport a kid told me I was eating string cheese wrong. I told him that’s how string cheese is eaten on Mars. I recognize none of this make sense, it was 5 AM.

I’m gonna tag @han-pan, @karalija, @mylittlecornerofotome aaaand @jane-runs-fast! No obligation >>;;;

2017 Creator Tag

(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome and @wonky-glass-ornament)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below (say why if you want) to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

Six Wins and Draw This mostly gets to be here because it had a bunch of characters I had never written before! It was fun to write just a quick few paragraphs (if that) for them. I’d like to do something like this again, because it was much easier than trying to force something standalone for a group I’m not as comfortable with the characterization on.

Compliments I really like fluff. I like communication, and silliness, and sweetness. @juniperotome helped tremendously with this piece, but it really turned out to be one of my favs. I actually prefer this to Burn Down, which was fun and which I do like and was the other contender for this slot, but when I put them side by side, I like this one.

THE WAFFLE COTTAGE CHRONICLES (there’s more) This had been rattling in my head since 2016, but I didn’t post this until January 2017. This was my first headcanon shoving ALL OF THE LORDS into a single story. I recognize that it is very American-mindset-centric, but the sheer satisfaction of brain-dumping the beast was cathartic.I wrote 5000+ words in bullet point form in One Single Sitting and just, it was fun. I still think this is hilarious, even if it has issues.

Lick Your Wounds I still have lingering problems with this piece. And there’s a sort of dual fact thing going on - it could be so much better, but it is also the best that I have done, imo. Those are both facts to me. At this point, it’s a very frustrating piece to deal with XD but even when I am not entirely happy with it, I am very happy and very very touched by the response it has gotten, and so it gets a place. #makepuppyhappy

Scraps UGH THIS FIFTH SLOT. I mean. There’s no question this goes to a Kai group piece. I love writing the Kai group, it’s the most comfortable and it comes the most easily. I don’t like writing modern aus but they just sort of vomit out with these characters in a very love-hate way (I love that they have the opportunity to be happy without the specter of history looming, that’s about it – it’s complicated to explain).

IkeSen Tag

(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome)

Top 3 Warlords in order: Sasuke Nobunaga Kenshin

Favorite Moment in the game so far OH MAN. HMM. I am going to be unoriginal and echo Mrs O – Nobunaga being a matchmaking troll is A+, but I do also love KEnshin and Shingen’s letter to Nobunaga in the ES where MC starts with them but falls in love with Nobu and they are basically like, be nice to her and let her come visit or DEATH TO YOU

Who has the best hair Masamune (Shingen & Hideyoshi have the worst /sigh)

Which voice do you like the most? MRS O I SWEAR I AM NOT COPYING but Kenshin/Mitsuhide are flat tied. Whispery and low, swoooon

Who do you think you are most compatible with? None of ‘em. I enjoy watching their romance unfold with story MC, but as actual self, there are zero combos that would work out favorably for both parties based on what I’ve seen so far.

Which warlord appeals to your aesthetics? Sasuke. Dude. Sasuke.

Which warlord makes you the most frustrated? Hmmm! Tough to say. Maybe Kennyo? Only because it’s seems from what we’ve seen that he is very much going against himself for some reason, and it’s hurting him and that is silly. Don’t do that.

Who would you swear loyalty to, the Oda forces, the Uesugi-Takeda forces, or Third Party forces? NNNNNGH. Oda. If I HAD to. Only because there’s a stronger sense of long-term stability and history. But ideally, none of the above. I would be NEUTRAL TERRITORY opening up a little seamstress shop somewhere in the middle that also serves tea and everyone is welcome to come have snacks, tea and fittings but only if they don’t fight XD (or at least take it outside, and no one dies)

BONUS: Mrs O’s Q: If you had to tell one warlord what happened to them in your own original timeline, who would it be and why? Nobunaga. Because what happened to him can’t yet come to pass in his timeline, so it’s moot. He’s shown to accept knowledge with aplomb so I don’t think it would send him into an existential spiral. He could handle it.

My question for anyone who does this – Which lord would make the best roommate?

Music Tag

(tagged by @skullbygloy100 @dear-mrs-otome @wonky-glass-ornament)

I only have two ways of enjoying music – passively not even noticing what’s on in the background and actively listening to the same song for literal and actual hours on repeat

Passes by Helen Jane Long – I literally listen to this on repeat for hours. HOURS.

Blood // Water by grandson

Cows on the Hill by Jay Ungar

Nowhere to run by Boga

Todo Comienza En La Disco by Wisin ft. Yandel & Daddy Yankee

Dusk Till Dawn by Zayn ft. Sia – but basically, anything with Sia

Shark in the Water by VV Brown – this is my Yukkin song lolol

Waterbound by the Fretless ft. Ruth Moody

Wait for It by Leslie Odom Jr

Clair de Lune by Debussy – performed by literally anyone

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO ANY OF THE THINGS just tag me <3 And those of you who tagged me - thank you thank you! This was fun

#about lee

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idolizerp · 5 years

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LOADING INFORMATION ON TITANIUM’S MAIN DANCE PARK JUNYOUNG...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: n/a CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 15 COMPANY: Midas SECONDARY SKILL: n/a

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Jun-yojeong (aka Jun-fairy, also a play on his name and in reference to his height) INSPIRATION: A huge fan of Gemini and decided to become an idol because of them SPECIAL TALENTS:

Great flexibility, part in thanks to his short height and his background in figure skating

Can dance to literally any beat presented to him

Knows the chorus choreography to practically hundreds of songs and can dance to any of them when asked to

NOTABLE FACTS:

An orphan, both his parents died in his teens and he was sent to live with his aunt

Used to be a junior figure skater before being scouted and competed at a high level

Left Uni after less than a year after deciding he was tired of studying

Doesn’t seem to have many friends, outside the entertainment industry or otherwise. Likes to keep himself to himself.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

To eventually choreograph one of their title tracks, grow his youtube channel and show his dancing more, both on stage and on different competition programs when given the chance.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

He doesn’t even think that far ahead to have any long-term goals, he likes living in the moment. He just wants to still be an idol, grow more in popularity and be recognized worldwide for his dancing and choreography.

IDOL IMAGE

Junyoung has always seemed to fit into whatever concept they seem to come up with for him and the group His personality and attitude changes almost as much as the weather does, seamlessly moving between different concepts and comebacks with very little ease, focusing completely on fitting the image presented for him. He’s always found it easier to try and be what people want of him instead of just staying true to himself, simply because he figures no one would really like the ‘real’ him all that much.

But he wasn’t always like this, his younger childhood was happy. He used to be carefree, a genuine smile on his face at every given moment, living for the praise his parents bestowed on them, doing anything in his power to make people happy. His father was a ice skating instructor and that was how Junyoung found his way onto the ice, propelling himself forward and getting better than he expected. Not that he really enjoyed competing and the skating, but anything to make his parents happy. And when he started winning, they seemed to be happiest, so he kept at it. But things change, his parents died in a crash when he was only fourteen and everything come down after that. Junyoung just became bitter, starting to go against everything his aunt said, fighting the power, the rebellious and troublemaking streak starting to shine through.

These days, it’s rare if he ever really genuinely smiles at something. Most of what he does is an act. Though he loves to dance, to perform, to be in the position he is in, nothing he shows to the public or even his groupmates or management is what he’s really like half the time, almost out of fear of what people would think. Junyoung just does as he’s told by their management, sticking to an image he was giving and going with it just because it would make people like him. They managed to roll a sort of 'strong silent type’ image for him and Junyoung is more than happy to suit it. Being quiet and not saying anything has always been easier than openly trying to say something clever and something people will like. And it does work, fans almost finding his almost stand-offish ways with people and his silence endearing in a way. They live for the moments he’s found smiling or laughing and just simply relaxing and not being so quiet to the side. Though it also has gained him quite a few anti’s because of his behaviour, but he just does his best to ignore them.

The only time people ever see the real him is when he’s dancing and performing, owning the stage to the best of his ability. He lives to perform and to dance and only then is he truly happy. But as soon as the music stops, you should probably count on one of the other members to do all the talking.

IDOL HISTORY

TW: parent death, car crash

Junyoung had a very happy younger childhood. His father was a teacher at an ice rink and his mother a primary school teacher who loved all her kids. He was loved by both his parents, went to be bed with loving kisses and ruffles of his hair and read to sleep every single night. A boy couldn’t really ask for much more growing up. And he didn’t, he was happy, always smiling, doing everything in his young power to make his parents happy even if it meant doing something he didn’t really enjoy all that much.

His father made him start skating lessons, it only made sense as he was a teacher, and it turned out that Junyoung just had a natural talent for it. Not that he really enjoyed the figure skating, but it made his parents happy, so that was simply good enough for him. But he did enjoy the performance part, the step sequences, the change to really dance and perform. Even the ballet classes he was enrolled in to help his performance and artistry were interesting to him, they way his limbs moved to the music, the poise and grace he could pull off on the ice.

Dancing was far more interesting to him than figure skating, but he kept with the skating, starting to make waves in junior competitions. At thirteen he competed at the highest level possible and managed to even make to the grand prix final at the end of the season, but never managed to medal. He even made it to the Junior worlds, but never made it through the competition thanks to a crash with another skater in the warm up practice which ended with his breaking his arm in two places.

Things got worse when he was fourteen and, while he was at school for the day, he got the news his parents had passed away in a car crash. Junyoung was devastated, growing bitter as he was sent to live in Seoul with his aunt. It was a new city, a new school, new life and he hated every moment of it. He hung up his skates, deciding that he didn’t have any parents to please any more and that was the start of a downward spiral. He started getting into petty trouble, coming home late and not paying attention at school and plummeting in the classroom.

But he almost found solace in what had become his life in dancing and music. Though he no longer took ballet lessons and had quite the skating, Junyoung still loved to move, to dance, to feel the rhythm. He also found love in the idol group Gemini, just watching their stages and watching them perform started the idea in his head that he wanted to be an idol. Honestly, he had never even thought about it before, but Park Junyoung, debuted idol started sounding really good in his head. And he was pushed further in that direction when he was scouted when he was fifteen.

A couple of auditions and an interview where he was on his best behaviour later and Junyoung signed with Midas.

What he ever expected was for it to be as hard as it was. While he loved to dance, the singing and vocal lessons were a pain. Not to mention the constant good behaviour he had to be in, following all these rules and trying to get along with all the other trainees. Not to mention it felt as though he was a trainee forever simply because the company deemed that he was just not ready to debut and stand in the limelight. But he kept working, watching other trainees come and go and groups go on and debut before him.

Finally he got his chance with Titanium, and Junyoung felt as though he was more than ready for it.

It was harder than he expected it would be, but he loved dancing and performing for crowds screaming their names. While he was still not all too great with his singing or actually interacting well with people, he found it easy just to keep quite, stick to being the silent type off to the side. But when the track is playing he loves being the centre of the stage, all eyes on him as he pours his heart and soul into his movements. Of course, there have been ups and downs, the hardships, the criticisms, but he just kept working, keeps powering forward and focusing completely on what he’s doing, making a bit of an effort to try and get along with his members. While the road as he been long, he finally feels as though they’re making headway, and so long as they can just keep going he’s more than happy to keep dancing.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.titanium #id.kim jinhwan

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