good time (the 2010s + me)
10 years of Heather... YESSSSSSS.
I mulled over various drafts of what you’re going to read today.
There was a draft where I summed up everything, literally everything, that happened to me over the last 10 years. The more I read that draft, the more it felt increasingly like a diary entry that did not warrant publishing of any kind.
I had a draft where I was only going to recap the good things that happened to me. That read like I had the world’s worst blinders on.
I weebled, I wobbled, I tried to organize my thoughts using bullet points. None of it worked and all of it sounded like noise, even though I was technically going in order of the last 10 years. So, I’m just going to keep it simple and focus on the basics.
I went on two pivotal journeys in the last 10 years. The first is the start of my writing career and the second was repaying my student loans. Note that the latter half of that sentence is written in past tense. In 2019, after nine years in debt, I paid off all my loans in full!
I want to talk about the loan journey first because it had an expiration date, even though I did used to think I was gonna die with those loans. Rather than sound like a broken record rehashing the story of how I paid everything off again, I want to share two aspects of paying off student debt that nobody talks about online.
The first one is that once it happens, after your debt is paid in full, you’re not rich. You have a little more money every month, but you can’t go out and change your lifestyle radically. If anything, you have to remain in place a little bit longer and remain on a budget. There’s certainly irony in debt repayment. The debt is gone, but you are not exactly free yet. You have to recoup the losses.
The other aspect of student loans is how quickly you forget about it once it’s paid off. And I mean all of it — the emotions and experience associated with loan statements and making monthly payments. I spent years lying in bed unable to sleep at night stressed out about my loans. I never think about it now.
Paying off my debt alone was really difficult, but deep down I think I always knew that this was going to be my journey. My debt was not going to disappear, no matter how much I wished for a genie’s lamp or hoped a dead relative would throw me some bones in a will or I could magically find a spouse to marry who would assume the payments for me. I made a lot of lifestyle sacrifices to get out of debt. I prepared a few years in advance because I knew that what was ahead was going to be miserable. I remained disciplined, I treated my life with a Spartan mentality, and I crawled my way out under the 10-year deadline to freedom. Sometimes that’s what freedom looks like. It’s not a climb or a sprint to a finish line. It’s a crawl.
Onward to writing!
I was still in college at the start of 2010. Back then, I was an extremely green writer with few clips under my belt outside of an internship at the Ventura County Star and a column in The Echo (CLU’s newspaper). As a post graduate, every writing experience I have had has been a combination of good luck, timing, location, and the willingness to push myself and work hard.
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to write in the entertainment space. I always loved reading the pop culture section of the USA Today and soaked up my subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly and Premiere Magazine like a sponge. I was determined to break into entertainment however I could, and I got in on the ground floor of BettyConfidential and HelloGiggles as a contributing writer in 2011.
The early 2010s was a short-lived timeline before most of the major media moguls began buying these sites out. I remember this time as one — and everyone who started during this time will say the exact same thing, trust me — where everyone really was each other’s friend in the media space. Content felt fresh. It was new. It was also really kind. There was a lot of room to share your story and experience and receive incredible, positive feedback from readers.
BettyConfidential... What a wonderful group! Was there anything better than waking up at 5 AM the morning after the Golden Globes to email over my best-dressed picks? (Sometimes emailed over the night before, I must admit.) I wrote my heart out in that LA Correspondent gig, covering fashion and celebrity news. It gave me so many opportunities to lead the kind of life most people who move to California never get the chance to have. I had the good fortune to go to red carpet events and awards ceremonies and gifting suites and sit in on movie sets and chat with celebrities (often in more candid spaces than is the norm) that I would never have had otherwise. Betty gave me a much-needed glimpse behind the camera of celebrity and the etiquette for how to be a reporter in this space. My experience at HelloGiggles differed from Betty in that it was much more social media driven. That was definitely the site where you earned your following and found your people in the Twitter space.
Collectively between Betty and HG, my favorite memories were...
1) The first time I went to New York City to cover Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. I went to as many shows as I possibly could in Lincoln Center, took photos with my iPhone, stayed up writing and writing with my photos at the hotel afterwards, and did it all over again the next day for 3-4 days. I also packed very poorly for February 2012 weather. A trench coat and flats in 20 degree weather with snow... but I still looked good!
2) I went to an event celebrating L’Oreal’s 40th anniversary of their “Because I’m Worth It” tagline (an early foreshadowing of my future in writing in advertising). I wrote a nice article about the event, shared the story, and went about my merry way into the rest of my workload. A few weeks later, I received a gift in the mail from their team: a huge gift card to Saks Fifth Avenue! There has never been a Cinderella moment in my life quite like the way I spent this gift card. I went to the Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills and bought a beautiful designer day dress that I wore everywhere (and still have in my closet).
3) The first time I went to, and covered, the Pillsbury Bake-Off for HelloGiggles. (Look at all that foreshadowing!) The Pillsbury Bake-Off is such a delightful experience and not just because there’s a life-size Pillsbury Doughboy walking around either. The events are held in hotels with convention-sized rooms where one can fit 100 ovens. 100 finalists all bake at the same time and compete for a chance to win a million dollars with their recipe. Bake it like you mean it! I even had dinner one table away from Martha Stewart at the Orlando Bake-Off.
I tried not to decline any opportunities. I made everything work, as much as I could. As far as regrets go, the only event I turned down was an opportunity to go backstage and cover the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The logistics and timing were really off. There was absolutely no way I could have flown to New York in time for it... but I will always wonder what if!
In a post-Betty and HG world, which is where I was in 2014 when both gigs wrapped, I began pivoting toward a new vertical: advertising. My discussions with Advertising Week began in late 2014 and I started writing for the website in 2015. Initially, this was a situation where I filled in the gaps with whatever content I was asked to write. A lot of it had pop culture tie-ins with Mad Men. (Shout out to my brain for already being a fan of the series and intricately understanding the ins and outs of its characters that tied in with advertising’s heyday!)
The first major series of articles I worked on were sponsored by Adobe, so there was an increased expectation to go above and beyond in the manner I wrote, the amount of research conducted in each article, and understanding the audience. I was ready to meet the challenge and was met with high praise for this hard work. During this time, I also briefly worked in transcription for Flaunt Magazine. I transcribed interviews for one of their writers, which made me feel as though I came a little full circle yet again to entertainment.
In March 2015, I received the opportunity to go to Chicago to the Museum of Broadcast Communications. It was for an event called “A Salute to Advertising’s Greatest Icons” which honored 10 of the greatest brand mascots in advertising. My favorite character, the Pillsbury Doughboy, was one of the honorees. Even more exciting, the creator of the Doughboy Rudy Perz would be in attendance. I immediately asked AW if I could cover the event and they agreed. However, a great tragedy occurred days before the event. Rudy passed away. I was completely crushed. As a lifelong Doughboy fan, I realized I would never get the chance to tell him how much of an impact that character had in my life.
In the 24 hours I spent in Chicago, I got to tour the museum space, meet and spend time in the studio of JoBe Cerny (the voice behind the Doughboy’s giggle!), and attend the event and its dinner. Each menu course was inspired by the 10 brand mascots. It was so much fun! I promptly wrote up the article and gave it to my bosses.
This article sparked the beginning of how I have carved a name out for myself in advertising. Brand mascots. We started discussing how to create content about characters, which I jumped at the chance to write. Before long, I had written so many character-based articles that the content spilled over the website. It required its own platform, PopIcon, which officially launched in 2016.
The greatest joy of my writing career so far has undoubtedly been PopIcon. There is so much to cover that I have gone through stages in writing. The initial stages of introducing the character to the world, the stage of updating everyone on the character’s current events (these critters are more active than you think!), and the historical narrative behind the mascot. There is only so much information a PR person can provide you before you can’t work with a one-sheet condensed timeline anymore. You have to get out there and behave like a journalist, finding creatives to talk to and share their stories. My favorite thing is when someone tells me that they have nothing to say. Then, they launch into a narrative of what life behind the scenes was like animating Lefty from Hamburger Helper or recruiting a voiceover actor for an ad campaign. That’s a lot to say! There is no absolutely story that is too small. Every bit of it is history and it has a place to be shared.
I struggle to pick my favorite PopIcon piece. At any given point, every article I have written has been my favorite. They are all jewels in a crown to me, which is a unique way to view your writing. Really, it’s how I hope every writer views their body of work as it grows and progresses.
However, if you must read anything... try these pieces on for size!
Leo Burnett’s Oral History, As Told By 8 Former Creatives (Part One & Two)
Putting The “Kool” Back In Kool-Aid
How Seth Werner Turned A Cluster Of Grapes Into The California Raisins
Monsters! A Brief History Of The Monster Cereals Icons
Ken Stewart, Creator Of The Coca-Cola Polar Bears, Reflects On Their 25th Anniversary
AW has been responsible for sending me back to New York City. In 2017, I went to New York to attend my first #AWNewYork event. My articles ran in their print publication, I hosted a panel, and I appeared on NASDAQ’s Closing Bell ceremonies live on CNBC and HLN. In 2018, I did the same rounds plus an Icons Gala which I worked on at the same time I was paying off my student loans. The Icons Gala was a massive success and I am so proud of it because it was really tough work. And in 2019, I came back for another #AWNewYork event and celebrated with all my mascot buddies once again.
Outside of PopIcon, I have my hand stuck in a series of freelance honey pots. I always like to keep the wheel rotating, as a means of avoiding stagnation and growing my work. It never ceases to amaze me where the wheel naturally rotates next. I wrote for Brit + Co when I lived in Orange County in 2016. I had a few pieces run on The Drum. I wrote for Ed2010 for two years, which felt like a return to my roots because Ed was the reason I got in with BettyConfidential. I still write with Business Insider, Coin, and Fairygodboss, all outlets I’ve been with for a few years now (minus Coin which started in 2019). Weirdly enough, I was fact checked in an obituary this year in The New York Times.
“Dabble in something new” was my fortune I received from a fortune cookie in the spring of 2019. Good timing. What could I do next that felt new? Where could I start to grow?
I have had my eye on weddings for awhile now, in more ways than one. You can’t help but notice when everyone you know is getting married. You really can’t help it when you’ve been a bridesmaid three times. When I think of the last frontiers of verticals where pure joy exists, it all goes back to basic life rituals. Marriage is one seeped in love, history, and etiquette. I started writing with the aptly-named wedding app Joy a few months ago. Finally, I was able to break into modern wedding editorial.
That has been the last ten years of my writing career, in a nutshell. Upon writing this out, I realized just how lucky and fortunate I am that everything looks so neatly tied together. The gaps have been few and far in between. Regardless of what was going on in my personal life or when things were difficult, doors kept opening for me. And I did everything I could to walk in when it happened.
Doesn’t it look like the land of Oz over here sometimes? It has been 10 years. If you juggled this much writing on top of a full-time job, nonstop for a decade while aging from a twentysomething into your thirties, you would probably run into some issues keeping your self-sustained sausage factory running. It’s not a realistic story if the heroine isn’t facing growing pains.
I am not a perfect writer. I’m never going to act like the Heather cup of tea is for everyone to drink up because it’s not.
I have had countless nights where I have been up late writing, researching, or editing drafts. My interviews with creatives sometimes last for a few hours. I have procrastinated my workload until the last possible minute, leaving me frantically pinned against a wall pushing all the puzzle pieces around until they fit in the eleventh, in the twelfth, hour.
I’ve had my brain switch completely off into a “duhhhhhhhh” setting. In this setting, I shut myself in and watch reruns of TV shows I have already seen before. I have to mentally peace out from the world. This is because operating at eleven every single day takes a lot out of you.
I have been rejected by a few outlets. Totally happens. I have also been told I am overqualified on more than one occasion.
In 2019, I finally seized the opportunity to buy my domain, which was not previously available, and create a space for my work.
I’ve learned a lot about one other person in the last decade: myself.
I know exactly who I am. I’ve hit reset on my life multiple times over the last 10 years, switching jobs, cities, and freelance work. I can reinvent some of me, but I can never leave myself behind. Nor would I ever want to do that. I love myself. She is still a work in progress, but it is progress I will do anything for, even if it means crawling alone for years on end. I do it for her.
Everything is up to timing. In time, everything will be as it is supposed to. That time will be the right time.
If you are ever unsure of what to do next, look to the past for guidance. Everything I loved as a child is coming full circle into my life as an adult.
I think the greatest thing I can do, now and in the next decade, is to continually work at making the younger version of me happy with her adult self. If the 10-year-old version of you could see you now, what would she think? Would she be proud of the person you grew up to become? Certainly I think the younger version of me is probably a little upset I don’t read as many books as I did in my Scholastic book club days (I’m working on it!). But, I do think she would be pleased with the woman I am in 2019. The things I have already accomplished and feathers in my hat. My personality and work ethic. The dreams ahead of me and the goals I still have left to achieve.
While I have no idea where I will go in the next 10 years, I am excited to see everything that comes my way in 2020 and beyond. I will keep writing. I will keep working. And I will continue to keep not telling anyone what I’m doing until it happens. I have found life is a lot more fun when you whip out a good, unconventional “surprise!” on everyone that nobody saw coming.
Keep your pen at the ready. It’s gonna be a good time.
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December 23, 2019. I don’t fucking understand men??
So my relationship with my sexuality has gone from gay (kissing my 3rd or 4th girl cousin when I was 5, but make out style), to straight, to Straight And Borderline Homophobic, to gay, to bisexual, to Mostly Lesbian, to Pretty Evenly Divided Between Lesbian and Straight, and now the ONLY GUY WHOSE DICK I WANT TO SEE IS LEAVING ME HANGING AND GHOSTING.
Like, okay. I literally have never asked for a dick pic in my LIFE except for from this dude and only after I already saw it the first time (he asked if I wanted to see it and I said yes) and now he wants to act funny. I mean, don’t do this dude. It’s not like I want to even date the dude or even necessarily fuck him (although that would be a Big Bonus) but like, nudes??? How much is that to ask??? Especially considering that all of the nudes I sent him are just sitting in our chat saved for him to look at whenever he wants. Maybe I’ll unsave them and make him ask me for nudes again. I’m not sending him any more, I’m going on nude strike, until he asks me for nudes again. I would say until he begs for nudes but Michael is just not the begging type which I got mad respect for but... Beg.
The worst thing is that I’ve run out of space on my phone and had to choose between Mario Kart, a ton of my pictures/videos, and Tinder, so I obviously deleted Tinder (although I did consider mass deleting pictures, I thought it best to do that for the right reasons instead of just to gain potential hoes. I’m not a whore.).
I’ve been jamming to Fine Line for days now and it makes me really happy. After really giving all the songs a good listen, I still think Adore You just hits a special part of my brain and heart and soul that I have to give it the title of my favorite song from the album. It makes my body sway and makes me want to dance and sing and gives me all the right feelings that I needed from HS1 that, truthfully, I never really got. Honorable mentions are She, Cherry, To Be So Lonely, Golden, Lights Up, and, of course, Falling. I like Sunflower because it’s a weird song, but it’s like I feel like I’m kinda forcing myself to like it just because I feel like I should, if that makes sense.
Rowan got me The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek for Christmas which was nice. I got her a coffee mug.
I’m picking at my scabs from my cuts. The ones I did the first time are already pretty much gone but they’ve left a brown kind of scar. I don’t know if they’ll stay like that, I’ve never used what I used before. I’ve noticed that I feel the need to censor myself on here when I’m typing, even though I’m just typing to myself, just for the sake of it being the internet. Sometimes I think the internet is just way too much. It should never have turned into what it has turned into, but then I also logically know that me and my peers are particularly responsible for it. I also know that without the internet my pre-teen through teenage years would have been simultaneously much worse and much better without it. It’s just turned into this thing, damn near fucking tangible in every way except not, this thing that people are addicted to and use to literally change and enhance their lives. Careers, relationships, hobbies, community, fandoms and music, television, movies, shopping. You know you can buy a fucking car online now? A car. Have it sent to you or some shit. I mean, that’s wild. I remember my nanny having a computer, a desktop (this is circa 2005 and it was an older computer then, so it was probably one of the first computers that became accessible to households) and the startup scripts (or whatever they’re called, the white words on the black screen) were saying something weird and nobody could figure out how to get it to work or load up to the main screen. If it weren’t 2005 someone could have probably just googled it on their cellphones and figured out what they should do to fix it, but, since it was 2005, it never got fixed that I know of.
It’s bizarre how much Ellie can do on a phone at 5 years old. She knows how to read any error message that comes up, she knows when the wifi goes down, she knows how to delete apps and other data to make room for whatever app she’s trying to download.
Right now Rowan is going to purchase some green and I’m just extremely frustrated about a lot of things in regards to her. The whole Jane thing, the klonopin thing (which I haven’t talked about and probably won’t for brevity’s sake), the fact that she is so worried about weed that she’s out until what will probably be past midnight waiting for it but then when I ask her to do something simple after she’s off work she’s “tired’ and “worked her ass off all day” and “just wants to go to sleep immediately”, I asked if I could go with her when she got off work and basically got told I couldn’t come with her, that only she could go, and just like...a lot of shit I guess. It isn’t like I don’t talk to her about how I feel, I just sometimes feel like she is very selfish and will put herself first in any situation involving drugs. She’s also very good at withholding affection as a punishment (at least I think that’s what she does). Sometimes I wonder how much longer we’re going to last. Sometimes I can almost touch the idea that we will get married and grow old together. I always love her though. I know love isn’t always enough, but it has to count for something at least, even if it doesn’t count for everything.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am having a lot of almost negative feelings about so many things that I worry about genuinely having a horrible christmas. I’m hoping tomorrow and the next day can just happen as if the world hasn’t been happening like it has been happening for the past month. Anyways. Whatever. I need to find someone to hook up with until Michael gets his shit together and realizes how perfect a match we are to be friends with benefits.
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