#like people everywhere in the apartment and outside and downstairs bc their friends had an apartment down there so they made it

[imagine-all-the-imagines]

Imagine going into labor while Casey is away at a conference. Part two!

Warnings: Slight pregnancy issues, if I missed any, let me know. 

Summary: You are pregnant with your first child and your girlfriend, Casey, is away at a conference. You weren’t expecting anything to happen, but the little human inside you had other plans.

Based on this request: “Maybe Casey’s gf is heavily pregnant (7/8 months?) with their baby girl. Casey has a conference in a different state (which she only reluctantly went to bc rn her gf is ever so clingy) R hangs out with Alex (godmother of the baby?) but suddenly has (false) labor contractions Alex panics, calls Casey who freaks out;all flights are heavily delayed. Alex calls Liv for help and R just misses Casey really badly add ur own twist? :)”

AN: Somehow this got to be over 3,000 words. 3,059 to be exact. I hope you like it!

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After having the bombshell of twins dropped on you, you and Casey walked out of the doctor’s office and down the street. You were both pretty silent as you walked without really paying attention to what was around you.

It was Casey that finally stopped you, she had grabbed your arm and gently brought you to a pause. “Y/N, are you ok? I know we weren’t expecting it, but this is great, more to love, right?”

You gave Casey a small smile, “You’re right, I just honestly didn’t think this would happen, we kept putting it off because I asked you to, and then suddenly, bam, twins! And on top of this, we have to plan the wedding!”

Casey ran her hands reassuringly up and down your arms. “We can do this. You’re one of the most organized humans I know, and I have some time off that I’ve saved up. I can take the time off to make sure everything gets ready in time and to make sure you don’t run yourself ragged.”

You smiled at brighter at Casey, “And this is why I love you. You always know how to calm me down. I just know I’ve got you to lean on if I need it.”

Casey gave you a small kiss, “And you always will, even without these rings. I’m not going anywhere.”

________________________________________________________________

When you got back to work, your entire squad was waiting to hear the news. Liv had a huge smile on her face and had placed a gift bag with balloons on your desk. You let out a laugh and shook your head at the squad.

“You guys are far too good to me, but before I open this, there’s some news!” You explained, lightly pulling on the balloon strings, “We’re having twins!”

There was a moment of complete silence before Liv let out an excited laugh and wrapped you in a hug. “Oh my gosh, this day just got better and better. Congratulations!”

Fin and Elliot came up next and both gave you a hug and offered their congratulations. Looking at everyone, you pulled Liv off to the side.

“So, I feel like this should be obvious, but I was wondering if you would be the godmother of one of the twins? We decided not to know what the genders were, but I just know that if they have you, they’ll have the biggest extended support system a pair of twins could hope for. Casey is asking Alex today at work. We’d be honored if you would say yes.”

Liv nodded, tears slightly coming up in her eyes. “I would love to, Y/N. Thank you.”

“Good,” you smiled, “That means you two are in charge of the gender reveal, which you already knew about. But now it’s official!”

________________________________________________________________

Your first trimester seemed to be flying by and the day of your gender reveal came before you could even blink. You felt like the days bled into one another, and meanwhile, you felt yourself growing larger and larger.

Casey had been by your side through all the morning sickness and emotions flying all over the place. You honestly weren’t sure how you would have done it without her.

Now, you were standing in front of your mirror, smoothing the floral dress over your bump. You were lost in thought when Casey come up behind you, wrapping her arms and round you and covering your hands with hers.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked with a quiet voice.

You leaned your head back onto her shoulder, “Just wondering about what they’re going to be like. You know? I’m growing two complete humans in here, I just want to know what they’ll be like already. But I’m also incredibly nervous for all of this.”

You turned in Casey’s arms and wrapped your arms around her, nuzzling into her neck. Casey gently stroked your hair and gave you a reassuring squeeze, “I know you’re dealing with a lot, more than I can even fathom, but I hope you know I’m here for you every step of the way, and I can’t wait to figure this all out together.”

The two of you stood like that for a few minutes before Casey pulled away, “We should head downstairs, Liv and Alex are probably ready to get this thing started.”

You laughed and nodded taking Casey’s hand, “Let’s not keep them waiting then. I’m ready to figure out what’s growing inside me!” You paused for a moment before laughing, “That makes it sound like I don’t know they humans, like maybe I’m expecting dinosaurs or something!”

You and Casey shared a laugh as you into the living room and saw your friends and co-workers packed together. There was a mesh of pinks and blues everywhere with each person sporting pink or blue to broadcast their guess to the public. Liv was sporting a nice blue blouse while Alex had on a light pink skirt. Casey had chosen a light pink blouse and when you saw the face painting supplies, she allowed you to paint little pink hearts on her cheeks.

You had made yourself a flower crown to go with your dress and when people asked what you were hoping for, you gestured to the pink and blue flowers on your crown and just said, “It doesn’t matter to me, so long as they’re healthy.”

There were a few games, guessing what items were in the diaper bag, baby bingo, and guessing whose baby pictures belongs to whom. The best one was seeing Elliot’s baby picture, turns out he’s had a permanent from since the day he was born.

Finally it was time to pass you the cupcakes. Liv and Alex warned everyone not to bite into their cupcakes until you and Casey had gone first.

When you were handed your cupcake, you felt a flutter of nerves hit your stomach and you subconsciously rubbed your hand over the little lives in your womb.

Looking at Casey, you both grabbed the handle of a fork and brought it down, making the candies in the center spill out. When you looked down to see them, your face spilt into a happy grin looking at the light blue candy pieces spill out.

“Looks like baby number one is a boy!” Liv called out, letting out a cheer. “Time for cupcake number two!”

You and Casey repeated the process and Liv let out another cheer, “It’s another boy!”

You looked at Casey, worried that she would be upset about not having a little girl. But to your surprise, she was looking at you with a smile to rival your own. “ Y/N, we’re going to have two little rascals running around. I hope we’re ready for it.”

You laughed and looked around, “We might need to get a bigger place. You know, I always wanted boys. I just didn’t want to jinx it!”

The rest of the shower went by with plenty of laughs and congratulations, Elliot offered to give you parenting tips whenever you needed it and Liv and Alex volunteered for babysitting whenever you and Casey needed a moment to yourselves.

After everyone had left, you felt yourself getting overwhelmed with emotion and found yourself wiping away a few happy tears while Casey went around the apartment cleaning and organizing everything. You had offered to help and she had all but put you on the couch herself, saying that you had done enough today and that you needed the rest.

You knew that no matter what would happen, as long as you had your support system, you all would be fine.

________________________________________________________________

The morning that Casey left for the conference you were a mess. She had told you about it about a month ago and you had been fine with it, but as the conference got closer, so did your due date. You were about eight months along and you were worried that something would happen while Casey was gone.

Casey had assured you that no matter what, she would only be a phone call away. And if you needed anything, she would be on the first flight back to you.

Liv and Alex promised that they would stay with you whenever they could and they were there the morning that Casey left, immediately offering you tea and pastries along with a day of TV binging.

After a few hours of TV with the girls, you got a call from Casey, letting you know that she had made it to the hotel and that she was already missing you and the boys. You let her know that Liv and Casey hadn’t left your side and that they were taking care of you. She laughed and asked you to pass along her thanks to the women.

________________________________________________________________

That night was the first night you had to sleep in your bed without Casey in at least a year and a half. To say that it wasn’t a peaceful sleep would be a lie, it was simply miserable, you ended up getting one of Casey’s sweaters and wrapped it around you, letting yourself drift off to sleep surrounded by the comfort of Casey’s perfume.

The next day you woke up with an ache in your bones, assuming it was due to the increased weight of the twins, you went about your day like normal. Getting dressed and ready to go into the station, you felt a pull in your back as you were putting on your shoes. Gently rubbing your back, you looked down at the bump that was your twins.

“No, you don’t get to do this today, Momma’s only been gone one day. I miss her too, though.” You rubbed your stomach, hoping to calm the boys.

As you walked out the door, you saw Alex and Liv waiting outside your door, a cup holder holding your usual morning cup of tea.

“You ready to go Y/N?” Alex asked, looping her arm through yours and rubbing her free hand over your stomach, “You ready for desk duty boys? I know it’s your mom’s favorite thing to do.” She shot a wink at you.

Liv laughed next to you and swatted Alex on the arm and then addressed your stomach as well, “Don’t listen to Auntie Alex, your mom is one of the best detectives we have, but she has to stay safe for you two.”

You smiled at the two women, “Thank you, both of you, you all have been lifesavers this whole time, and I know that Casey has only been gone a day, but you two have already made it easier.”

The three of you started your walk down the stairs towards the street. Liv called a cab and the three of you piled in, you in the middle so Liv could help you out when you got to the station.

After Alex had been dropped off and you and Liv had made it to the station, you were at your desk, looking up addresses of potential suspects when you felt it. There was a sharp pain in your back that seemed to wrap its way around to the front of your pelvis.

You let out a sharp gasp and looked up to see who was around. Locking eyes with Liv, she saw the panic and immediately came towards you, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” You managed to get out through gritted teeth, “Something doesn’t feel right Liv.”

Liv was immediately on the phone calling a bus to come get you. “I’ve got you Y/N, Elliot is going to call Casey and Fin is on the phone with Alex already, you’re not alone in this ok?”

You felt the tears pricking at your eyes, “Liv, I’m scared.” You whimpered.

________________________________________________________________

When the bus got there, you were still in pain, it seemed to come and go, but it was still there.

Liv went with you in the bus and held your hand the whole way. You let the tears fall when you got to the hospital and thought of Casey, you needed her here with you. You knew you had your support system, but the woman you loved was nowhere around.

After being admitted and checked out by the doctor, Liv and Alex were able to come in and see you.

“Hey, the doc said that we could come in for a bit, he said that you were asking for us?” Liv said, using her gentle voice that she saved for the scared victims she spoke with. If you weren’t in the pain you were in, you probably would have called her out on it.

“Liv, Alex, thank God you’re here, please don’t leave the room again, I talked to the doc, he’s ok if you stayed in here. I can’t do this alone, has anyone talked to Casey?” You asked, worry laced in your voice.

________________________________________________________________

Casey had been in the middle of watching a presentation when she had been told that she had a call, at first she had been annoyed, but when she heard what it was about, her face paled and she all but sprinted out of the conference to the hotel.

Throwing all her items in her suitcase, Casey made it to the airport in record time, completely oblivious to the storm clouds gathering in the sky.

When she got to the airport, Casey practically crumpled when she was told that for the time being, all flights were cancelled due to the storms around them.

“You don’t understand, my fiancé is having an emergency! I have to get back to New York!” She said, slamming her hand on the counter as tears started to fall from her eyes. “I have to be there.”

The woman at the counter offered Casey a sincere apology with a heartfelt smile. She could see how desperate the red haired woman was.

Walking away from the counter, Casey went up to a pay phone and called the hospital, asking to be transferred to Y/N’s room. Liv answered and handed the phone to Y/N.

________________________________________________________________

“Case? Are you coming home?” You asked, the fear very present in your voice.

There was a sad sigh and a sniffle on the other end of the line, “I tried Y/N, there’s no flight’s going out, there’s a big storm coming in. I’m sorry baby, I’m not making it home tonight.”

You tried to keep the tears at bay, “I’m scared Casey, I don’t know if I can do this without you, Liv and Alex are here, but I need you.”

Casey broke hearing the fear in Y/N’s voice, “Y/N, you can do this, you are strong and when the doctor comes back and tells you what’s going on, you will do whatever you need to do. You have Liv and Alex, and you know I’m always with you, even if I’m stuck far from you.”

________________________________________________________________

Casey felt a tap on her shoulder, turning, she saw the woman who she had talked to at the counter.

“Ma’am? I was able to get you a ticket on a fight leaving in ten minutes. It’s the last flight out before everything gets grounded, you might have to run to make it.”

Casey looked at this woman in disbelief. And then sprang into action. Giving the woman a quick hug, Casey took the ticket and got to the gate showing them the ticket and getting on the plane with only moments to spare.

As the plane took off, Casey could only hope that she would make it back home before anything happened.

________________________________________________________________

Y/N listened carefully as the doctor spoke, apparently nothing was seriously wrong, the boys were fine, but the weight of the twins had caused a spasm in your back that you had apparently hadn’t noticed and while you kept working, the spasm had gotten worse until it had caused a serious muscle injury. The doctor explained that this meant you would be on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy.

You let out a breath that you didn’t realize that you had been holding. Your brain had been preparing you for the worst.

Suddenly, you heard a commotion outside the room, looking at the door cautiously, you couldn’t help but cry out when you saw Casey push through the door.

“Case! What are you doing here?”

Case rushed up to you, cradling your face in her hands. “I had a guardian angel working at the airport, they got me on the last flight out.”

You and Casey remained like that as you explained everything that happened and what the doctors said.

When you were able to be discharged, Casey got you home and into bed. From that moment on, you always had someone in the house with you, Casey, Liv, Alex, Elliot, Fin, and even Cragen all took turns, making sure that you had everything you needed.  

________________________________________________________________

A month passed without any other scares and one morning you and Casey were relaxing in bed, you were drinking tea and Casey was drinking her coffee when you felt it, a rush pain hit your abdomen and you gasped.

“Casey, I think we need to change the sheets.” You said trying to laugh through the feeling of your water breaking.

Casey was out of bed immediately, calling a bus and then Liv and Alex. Helping you out of bed, Casey grabbed the go bag and helped you down the stairs, making it down to the front as the bus got to the apartment.

________________________________________________________________

The pain you had felt a month ago was nothing compared to what you felt as you tried to push the little bodies out of you. Casey stood by your side the entire time, coaching you through everything and trying to keep you calm.

When it was all over and done with, you and Casey looked at down at the little boys peacefully dozing in your arms.

The squad crept in, bringing balloons and flowers and a whole mess of other baby items. You introduced the squad to the boys, Travis and Patrick.

As the squad took turns holding and looking at the babies, you felt yourself surrounded by the love and warmth of you family and friends, and you let your eyes slip closed, knowing that your family was complete, safe, and healthy. 

#law and order svu #law and order svu imagines #law and order svu imagine #svu imagines #svu imagine #svu #Casey Novak x reader #Casey Novak x F!Reader #casey x F!reader #casey x reader #casey novak #casey #potential trigger warning #tw: pregnancy #tw: pregnancy issues

[moonweav3r]

9 11 30 41 42 55 56 59 62 63 65 67 69 70 84.

Hey there! So, I kind of ignored this ask for a bit bc I’ve been in a weird headspace lately and it was actually hard to answer some of these without rambling/oversharing but here it goes:

9. Describe your perfect mate: Someone open-minded, honest, curious and respectful who shares at least a good amount of my values/principles. Someone creative in some type of way, who would enjoy my love for music/films/shows/art in general idk and we could like, inspire each other to some extent? They’d have a great/kinda dark sense of humor which I love, probably very sassy but still pretty down-to-earth and chill and intimate with me. They’d enjoy long conversations about anything and everything and just being silly, messing with each other. They’d probably be very much into sex but also, very affectionate and cute and caring with me. Also, pets are a big bonus.

11. Do you ever want to get married?: Tricky question bc a part of me doesn’t believe in marriage that much, but a better part of me is really fond of the idea? Like, I’m sure I wouldn’t marry anyone that easy but, with the right person and if both of us are on the same page in most things it’d be really nice. Most of all bc of the intimate connection/compromise with each other, like the meaning behind all of it. I care little about the state/church part of it tho.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: Not seriously at least. I’ve had days when I’ve wanted bigger boobs or curvier/more feminine hips but I don’t think I’d put myself through surgery for that lol

41. Have you had sex so far this year?: yes

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?: Depends on the person I’m with and if I’m in the mood to tease (which usually I am) 🤔

55. Share a relationship story: I met my first bf at summer camp, when I was like 12 and he was a couple years older. I remember he had really soft and pretty curly hair. My first kiss was in some bench he told me was “secluded” bc I was kinda shy about it, but either way our friends at camp saw everything. After that, we used to sneak downstairs at my apartment building to make out, with the help of my best friend/neighbour atm so my fam wouldn’t notice. He really wasn’t the best kisser tho, it felt a little like when a dog kisses you? He’d just manage to drool all over my face🤦🏼‍♀️ it was a bit gross but idk I was still excited about making out in general I think haha

56. State 8 facts about your body:

my eyes usually look pretty dark, but in direct sunlight you can see some lighter shades of hazel/green

I tend to get hot very easily but my nose and feet are usually colder

I have really sensitive skin since I was a baby, which is often really annoying

my shoe size is 6

I’ve never dyed or straightened my hair

I haven’t got any tattoos yet, but I really want them

I’m always wearing perfume or fragance mists

I actually really like my ass, my boobs and my thighs even tho they’re not perfect at all and the first 2 could be bigger lol

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!): I don’t take many selfies so, here’s my new profile pic c:

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?: Idk, I’m the kind of person that likes see eroticism in the little details so, probabaly letting me tease and pleasure them (with their consent of course!) and not only see the look in their eyes and hear all the sounds they make when they open themselves completely, but like finding a way to almost overwhelm their senses with touches and kisses y’know? there’s nothing like feeling that trust and desire literally project out of the body of the person you want to feel good. 

And viceversa, there’s nothing sexier than feeling all that desire everywhere around me and most of all reflected on the person I’m with. Like watching them kiss me everywhere, touch me and grab me everywhere. Doesn’t matter if it’s fast or slow nor specific actions, when it’s like that both people can feel it and it’s amazing.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?: I guess it depends again on the people involved, their dynamics and what they feel comfortable with. For some, it’s people naked/half naked touching, kissing and/or penetrating each other’s genitals? But like for others, oral and handjobs aren’t sex but standalone actions or maybe just foreplay. So, my definite answer is communication before/after whatever you do bc when you know, you know 😂

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?: I don’t think I’ve had a routine for it? Just take your time, learn the buttons and corners that make you and your partner crazy and try a mix of purposely avoiding them for anticipation + getting to each one for satisfaction. Also, don’t be scared of making it playful or making each other laugh.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?: literally anything that involves good music, food, some drinks and a location or activity we both enjoy. It can be going to a gig or to the theatre and have drinks outside, or staying in making dinner together and watch movies with some drinks in just comfy clothes or underwear

69. What turns you off?: bad hygiene and smells ugh also mustaches

70. What turns you on?: turning someone else on, confidence, good smells, neck kisses and biting lips, when breath hits skin and teasing when we can’t touch each other... those are some, I guess

84. Why did your last relationship fail?: Honestly, I’m still really confused about the whole thing. Right now, I’m just sure they haven’t loved me for a good while, not sure for how long or if it was real love or even attraction from their part. I won’t say they didn’t try to feel that or to make things work, bc they did to some extent. But tbh it’s just really broken my heart in a way I couldn’t imagine. They really didn’t give two fucks in the end and dismissed everything that was invested like it was all meh making me doubt it was even real. I’m not perfect and I’m sure they must make up excuses on decisions I’ve made or stupid traits. Most friends we had in common don’t even text me back for some reason and even physically they look like a totally different person, idk why. In the end, it was just fucked up in many ways and tbh feels like they suddenly killed off the person I loved. I guess it’s easier that way.

[jwut]

why am I like this why am I like this 

why do I constantly give and give and give to people who just take and take and take and just call me horrible things and say horrible things to and about me and then go even further and lie to try to make me look worse?? I don’t understand. I woke up yesterday to the sound of my sister and her best friend yelling and arguing and then I heard my sister running and then a loud crash and then she started screaming and I immediately jumped up went to the stairs, saw her screaming in pain on the stairs and immediately jumped into action got pillows for her, her foot/ankle, got ice packs, got blankets bc she started getting cold, got water, loaded a bowl even offered one of my personal emergency cigarettes and also even offered her my emergency oxy which i changed my mind and kept bc i gave her 2 of my xans and she took a bunch of her own and other stuff I don’t even know and then was asking me to ask my dad if she could have one of his lortabs like really anyway and this was my one day off by the way, and I had already agreed to take her to her tax appointment and this happened so of course i have to help her do everything get up the stairs go to the bathroom change and the whole time im helping her scrambling to make preparations to get her into my car and stuff and shes taking selfies and posting on snapchat the whole time like dude we’re already late for your tax appointment this is the last day and then after I have to take you to the hospital anyway so like wtf  anyway finally after she calls and reschedules her tax appointment for an hour later and we finally go, everyone is so nice and caring and helpful and shes just rude to everyone and always has an attitude and is just so short and rude and loud to them and ugh anyway after that’s finally  done after an hour and I have no gas in my truck okay and I’ve literally already been catering to her every need and shes like “can you google places that take walk ins that don’t have insurance like where am I supposed to go” my sister just turned 28. She’s five years older than me. And she’s asking me where is she supposed to go that is cheap and will take her without insurance. While I’m already driving her and she’s in the passenger seat. like. so I tell her I have no idea she has to figure it out herself dude I’ve never even broken a bone okay anyway we go to UMC or whatever and like that whole thing itself is another story of me having to be her fucking mother and do everything for her and then she’s telling me she wants me to drive 30 minutes to Northtown okay, not the best area, go to her random friend’s house, some guy I’ve never even heard her mention before, to get painkillers and crutches for her. Unbelievable. Anyway after a million years of waiting she’s seen by the doctor and everything and we’re leaving and I still have no gas okay and they gave her a prescription so we had to go fill it and she only goes to the walmart pharmacy or whatever okay cool I ask, “when do they close?” so that I can see if I have time to get gas or if I just have to go straight to the pharmacy and she doesn’t say anything so I look it up, they close at 9 okay I start driving to walmart and she freaks out bc she was trying to call the other pharmacy to see if they could transfer something I don’t even know okay and idk literally she just always has a bad attitude and whenever she has to do anything herself or something doesn’t go how she wants, she just gets upset and awful and just horrible to even be around like i’ve been helping her all goddamn day it’s 8:30 at night dude I haven’t eaten all day, didn’t get to do my laundry or chores that I wanted to do on my day off and she always has to make a big scene so that other people think I’m so horrible to her fuck anyway she was rude to the walmart people she was in there for almost an hour, didn’t get her script, I have to go in and help her go to the bathroom and all this stuff all this stuff whatever she’s rude the whole time and expects me to stop and get her cigarettes and all this other stuff anyway finally after I had already cried and called my mom and told her I’m bringing Britt home and not helping her anymore I can’t do it, we’re on the way home and idk we saw this horrible accident happen like we saw the whole thing it was rpetty intense and actually really crazy but she’s in full on horrible bitch mode so shes like oh too bad that wasn’t me too bad I didn’t die idk so of course we’re arguing while I’m driving us home okay we’re so close to home dude and we’re just screaming at each other okay to the point where I can’t even scream because my voice just comes out raspy I can’t go that high okay anyway and we come to a red light and she gets out of the car she has a splint on her foot okay and she starts making a huge fucking scene close to our neighborhood in the middle of the goddamn street she stands out there trying to get hit by a car people start coming out of their apartments to try to help her of course I look like the bad guy because she’s like, “I BROKE MY FOOT AND MY SISTER REFUSES TO TAKE ME HOME REFUSES” screaming telling everyone that I punched her (I’m like a third of her size first of all, second, we were arguing my arms were moving and I slapped her arm lmao) anyway whatever I’m the bad guy I finally get crazy bitch back in my car (100% regret not just leaving her in the middle of the road so she can see what a fucking dumbass she is) anyway still screaming the whole time of course, I pull up into the driveway and I’m like dude get out of my fucking car and don’t ever fucking talk to me again and she got out but she wouldn’t get her stuff out so I tossed her purse out it’s fucking huge and heavy and i’m in the driver’s seat I can barely even toss it lol anyway I toss her shoe out throw it and she fucking leans in the car and tries to punch me in the face but she has shit aim I guess and missed and hit my shoulder/neck and she really hits like a bitch I didn’t even feel it my blood was pumping so my car is still on because I’m a dumbass but I’m just like fuck this I’m getting my mom to get her out of the car so I start going in and I turn and see her reach in my truck and get the keys from the ignition so I go in the house and say mom she has my keys she’s taking my truck she’s going to fuck it up and I go back outside and she threw them and I heard them land somewhere and so I go back over idk it’s kind of muddled idk maybe after she punched me was when I got out and like idk but like I was fucking done dude I was livid and she was getting in my face and I pushed her a few times and she got real in my face so I shoved her by the throat and like she was like oh you’re gonna choke me now like nah dude I’m just trying not to punch you in the fucking face anyway then she goes where’s my knife so I stand there and I’m like hell yeah get your knife you’re going  to stab me? and she’s like yep and she fucking takes it out and I start walking toward her like yeah dude fucking stab me PLEASE and my mom comes out and is like are you fucking serious I have to live here blah blah bc we’re loud as fuck making a scene in front of our house okay oh I forgot to mention before my mom came out and my sister was like yeah when you go to your room give me back that grinder I gave you and I was like you never gave me a grinder I’ve always had my own and she was like um no I gave you one and when you go up there and find it you better fucking apologize (I left out a loooooot of dialogue of her saying stupid horrible shit about how I’m selfish and need to respect her bc she’s older and all this like nah dude respect given is respect fucking earned and you’ve treated me like shit my whole goddamn life anyway) and she’s like yeah I gave you a grinder I don’t fucking lie I never lie blah blah anyway back to when my mom comes out trying to diffuse the situation, my sister immediately says, “MOM SHE CHOKED ME TO DEATH SHE CHOKED ME SHE BROKE MY FOOT TODAY” she literally said I broke her foot after I spent 10 hours catering to her every fucking need okay. Anyway she cut my aux cord in my truck, the only thing that brings me daily joy, being able to listen to my music, it’s an old truck I had a cassette tape aux cord thing and idk I ended up bleeding on my arm probably from her disgusting ugly ass huge fake nails I didn’t even know until after and like anyway I go upstairs, find the SCALE she gave me bc she said she didn’t need it (it was janky as fuck anyway and I had already gotten a new one from my friend) and I put it in front of her door and I hear her trying to come up the stairs and I was like I put the scale in front of your door and she was like “OH THE ONE YOU SAID YOU DIDNT HAVE YOU FUCKING LIAR” and I was like no you said GRINDER and it was a scale you fucking idiot and shes like oh i’m a stupid fucking idiot huh blah blah blah I was like no apology needed just don’t ever talk to me again and like I locked my bedroom door and went to go get gas and she texts me “YOU STOLE MY RED BAG MY RED BAG WAS IN THE TRUCK AND YOU STOLE IT IT HAS MY PIPE MEDICINE AND MEDICATION!!!!!!! (she doesn’t take medication she doesn’t even have insurance she has drugs yeah but she already had those on her and her pipe was in her room anyway) AND IT’S NOT IN MY ROOM IT’S NOT IN MY PURSE IT’S NOT IN MY POCKET IT’S NOT IN THE HALLWAY IT’S NOT OUTSDIDE i RANSACKED EVERYWHERE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR TRUCK THAT’S THE ONLY ANSWER I NEED IT. and I replied, “Nope it’s on the table downstairs where you left it before we left earlier today like I told you, earlier today. No apology needed again. Don’t ever talk to me.” 

and she was gone I was gone my friend picked me up and let me cry and vent while we smoked and she texted me yup same and then she was typing still so I blocked her and later after my night had already gotten so much better (I got drunk, went bowling, had steak and eggs with one of the coolest fucking people I know okay) and then later I got a text from my mom that she forwarded to me which was originally from my sister, which was telling my mom a bunch of bullshit to make me sound/look bad about me sneaking -people into the house and all this stuff and I was just like wow yeah okay I was like how would I even do that you have cameras everywhere? Like I remember Britt telling me she had her friend Cy over to the house and I was pissed bc she let him be around Link and I don’t know/like that guy? but it’s whatever so yeah my sister broke her foot yesterday and I helped her all day and that’s the appreciation she shows/has :) no more. 

I’m still always going to be a giving caring person, I swear to god I wish I wouldn’t, but I can’t help it, but I’m not giving any time to people that try to make me feel bad when I’ve never done anything but try to fucking help them. Already spent almost two years with someone like that and I’m finally recovering from it and I get hit with this lmao. Doesn’t matter who it is, next time, I‘m just going to leave them in the middle of the road. The people who know me well, always see the truth and who I really am and they’ve seen my ugly side too but they know that I’m not a bad person and I only get ugly and mean when I’m provoked. Literally I wish yesterday didn’t happen lol bc I don’t like acting like that, I never get like that she is literally the only person that gets that reaction out of me and it’s only happened maybe twice? Alec was the only other person who ever provoked like a smaller degree of that kind of reaction from me. I don’t like being that person and I don’t like people that force me and push me to be that person. People think they can keep pushing me and pushing me and I won’t push back but I do have a breaking point and when I reach it, it’s not good for those that push me. I’m not very intimidating and when it comes down to it, it’s my advantage when it gets to that point. I was always scared to get into a real fight with my sister but honestly I have 100% faith now that I could kick her ass. Like with two working feet lol. she talks a big game but she really is not shit. I wish I could love her. Never trying again.  

#personal #text #text post