#like no one is gonna “um actually” me in a fic about small niche details but now because of fucking Giomis I want to make

[lucybianchi]

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#just talking into the void real quick #but like why am I the kind of fanfic writer who is like “I've got to make sure I have everyone's voice right” so I read/watch a bunch of #content with said characters talking to make sure I won't write them OC because that's one of my pet peeves and then I'll proceed to write #nothing but descriptions/internal dialog and they speak out loud maybe 5 times in 10 pages #like bitch you want to read about characters have more of a conversation through touch and body language or unspoken understandings #I've got you #But actually dialogue????? Who is she???? Speaking???? I've never been to oovoo javer #like why am I like this #dead ass when I used to write scripts for class it used to be a PROBLEM because my profs would set page requirements because of the #minute per page rule but a page of dialogue and a page of action are two very different things and my scripts used to be DENSE with action #But also why am I the bitch out here doing dumb fucking research on shit that NO ONE is gonna check me on #like who the FUCK actually cares about shit like time period accurate asthma treatments (I used this for a fic about Steve and Bucky once) #Or fucking Italian funerary customs/the style and construction of graveyards #like no one is gonna “um actually” me in a fic about small niche details but now because of fucking Giomis I want to make #Budino al cioccolato because looking it up fucking Italian chocolate pudding unlocked information from my childhood that has been driving #me insane for years because I had a strong memory of eating a warmish Italian chocolate pudding as a child and never could identify it and #then I looked it up for a fucking fic and realized that was what the fuck I ate as a child #And #I #Want #It #anyways #a bitch be ranting and a bitch be writing #but this time I'm planing to finally actually post my stuff on AO3 >.> #If anyone cares I do be out here writing Jojo fanfic because I have brain rot and if you want to join me you should go check out my #Jojo blog >.> you can find link in my bio #sophia talks too much

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

fic year in review post, because i looooove reading other people’s and because new year’s is my favorite holiday (and literally always has been even before i knew or cared about what being a capricorn meant which is how you know astrology is real...)!

first of all, i posted a truly deranged 376,298 words of fanfiction this year, which is... bananas even given that i y’know quit my job in the middle of a global pandemic and have had a lot of time on my hands. i historically don’t do great with unstructured time & i am in fact extremely grateful to this weird hobby and the weirdos i do it with for giving me something to focus my energies during several months of empty schedules and a lot of um emotional processing happening in the background & as at times unhingedly absorbing as it has been, as new year’s & capricorn season work their magic i actually find myself starting to feel very recharged re: the prospect of making moves to reenter real life, in a way that it’s hard to imagine having found my way to without the mental washing machine of throwing myself into.... This.

wild geese (56k, quentin/eliot)

not included in the word count above because i finished writing it at the very end of december 2019, but i’m listing it here because it’s the only magicians story that would be left out otherwise, and it’s my dumb list. this was my shooting-from-the-hip post-4x13 fix-it, started within two weeks of having made it through the series as it existed then and driven entirely by the concept of quentin coldwater finding a way to let the soft animal of his body love what it loves; also in no small part a big love letter to quentin & julia; & to some degree a way for me to process the emotions watching the magicians brought up (mostly actually not bad) about my own history of depression. it surprised me with how long it was, and the fact that i expected it initially to be simply about feelings but it developed a thematically relevant plot-like magic concept, which was a fun novelty for me! it feels very tame compared to everything i’ve written sense, which would have shocked me to hear at the time i finished it, but i’m still very fond of it, particularly towards the end.

burning holes in butterflies’ wings (7k, julia/alice)

a little bizarre niche nightmare story! a tag joke about griefbanging turned into something miserable and weird. the first sex scene i wrote because i got halfway into the story and realized that writing a story from the premise “julia grief-fucks her dead best friend’s deranged ex” and not letting the actual sex show for itself what a psychological and emotional nightmare that would be was just a waste. a very jumping into the deep end way to learn about writing that part of the human experience, lmao.

wreck my days with a violent hunger (30k, quentin/eliot)

i loved this story a lot when i posted it and i love it a lot now; there are stretches where the prose sounds like the prose i had been wanting to write for years and never quite managed, and it also gets at some trauma-stuff i circle back to a lot as well as i’ve ever hit it. i think it’s still my most technically accomplished piece, and it taught me a lot about how to think about writing. also was my first foray into exploring the potential of quentin’s post-resurrection anger, which i spent many hours pondering and dissecting and clarifying for myself for this fic where it gets articulated in one (1) scene and then found myself at this story’s conclusion.......... obsessed with.

damage control for a walking corpse (78k, quentin/eliot, quentin/a lot of people, quentin/being a fucking terror)

my beloved and cherished demon baby.... my most precious unholy nightmare.... i simply have never had as much fun doing anything as i had writing this story! i had a blast leaning into what made me uncomfortable, & letting myself write in detail about sex without the pressure of writing Hot Sex Scenes, & letting myself be propelled by what made me laugh; SO much of this story, including some of the shit that wound up really dark in execution, started from the question of what would be most hilarious to me, personally. i’ve always loved stories about fucked up people in a lot of pain doing ugly fucked up things but i’d never been bold enough to venture there myself, and then this particular conception of post-resurrection q slammed down the gas pedal and would not stop, careening past moment after moment where i was like, is he really gonna do that, and the answer was: yes, and then some. and for all the meanness of this story, i love many quentins but i think i kind of love this one most of all.

how a resurrection really feels (260k and counting, quentin/eliot)

well! as i have said many times, the goal with this & damage control has been, quite simply, to give quentin coldwater what he deserves, which is to (1) completely lose his fucking shit and (2) figure out how to be okay after that; it is not my fault that quentin coldwater is the craziest motherfucker in the history of the universe, and has needed so very many things along the way! i had to learn new ways of thinking about stories just to begin getting this down; writing it has been sometimes thrilling, sometimes boring, sometimes a pleasant stroll, sometimes pulling fucking teeth, but i’m proud of pretty much all of it, from the Big Things it gets at that i’ve been working on in my own brain for years to the goofy worldbuilding details which are a totally new thing for me to be playing around with. this is gonna sound weird and deranged but i legitimately feel like writing this story has changed me as a person, in ways that i’m currently discovering and wondering about; one small way is that when i think about the two chapters that are left i’m like, “okay, another 40k, that’s eminently doable,” which truly is insane to me considering that before this fandom i had never written anything longer than 34k. this entire project really is, and i cannot emphasize this enough, something i had no idea i was remotely capable of pulling off ever in my life until it was happening, so if you are one of the people who has mentioned to me that you are impressed because it feels like something you couldn’t do - you really don’t know that! keep reading! keep writing! keep giving yourself space to grow <3

next year: finishing a resurrection; bigbang fic; beyond that, who knows! i have a WIP list that contains 5 stories i’ve made some level of drafting or notes towards & another six concepts i have hazy outlines of in my head, but i went back a while ago to the WIP/wishlist post i made once and most of those stories have totally lost their appeal for me so, i’m letting the muse take me where it will. hopefully it takes me to some things that are like, short. that would be neat. other than getting the bigbang story done on time, i don’t think i’m going to be setting longterm goals beyond keep writing; my weird hobby has sparked a lot of joy this year, and i want to hold on to that.

#writing tag #abt yr blogger