#like its just a v complicated issue - pronouns have always been weird in the lgbt community is my point

[groundramon]

My official stance on he/him lesbians is that it’s 1. none of my business and 2. none of your business.

I can see where some harm comes from, but it’s minuscule compared to other subgroups in the lgbt community like terfs, truscum, ect.  Like, there could be misgendering of he/him lesbians (or misgendering trans men by assuming they’re he/him lesbians) and getting connected with someone based on an assume connection where you’re both trans men but one ends up being a he/him lesbian while another is a trans man.  Which I suppose is a valid concern for trans men to have, considering many lesbians have a complex relationship with men from a platonic perspective (”man-hating lesbians” but like, not in a mean way, I’m just saying it as a fact that there are lesbians who don’t like hanging out with men. anti-sjws/”menimists” dont interact with this post ok there now you can take it neutrally) but its a problem that can easily be fixed with a little bit of understanding from both sides.  He/him (cis) lesbians don’t belong in spaces for trans men (however if they’re nonbinary or mtf, they do belong in trans spaces, just not spaces for trans men specifically) and if someone incorrectly assumes something about you, just correct them - and if you get corrected, say “oh, sorry!” instead of throwing a fit.

Like, there’s SO many aspects of movements for each lgbt movement that can be considered harmful to other aspects.  Ace inclusionism is considered homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, ect.  Sex positivity, which could be considered “harmful” to sex-repulsed aces (lgbt aces if you’re an exclusionist) like myself, is everywhere*.  People say bisexuals existing hurts lesbians and makes men think they can “convert” lesbians.  The whole bi/pan discourse thing.  Truscum discourse (but like, reasonable truscum people), demisexuality/a-spec discourse, things like faegender for people who clearly aren’t cishet either way, all that jazz- so much stuff conflicts.

* = if you’re going to say “woah wait that’s homophobic/biphobic whatever, what the fuck are you really saying gay ppl dont deserve sex positivity in the lgbt community” notice my wording “could be considered ‘harmful’”.  I’m saying that it’s something that’s debated.  As a matter of fact, I’m all for sex positivity in the lgbt community and that’s one thing I want sex-repulsed asexuals to shut up on.  Make a separate ace group if you don’t wanna deal with that.  And if I hear sex-repulsed alloro aces complaining about this im gonna shit my pants bc I’m romance-repulsed too and you’d prolly be offended if I told you to stop being romantic, right?  My point is that dont say “you guys should stop talking about sex” in the lgbt community (unless its graphic and involving minors, no safe sex ed being exposed to minors does not count unless it encourages minors to engage in sexual activity.  Ok? ok).  Let gay people and lesbians and bi people and pan people talk about their sexual urges and fantasies, they deserve it and I’m not going to let people suppress the very thing this community was made for - to embrace the sexuality of gay people, lesbians, trans people, bi people, pan people, ect.  Ok?  Ok.

My point is that we’re constantly butting heads over stupid shit.  Yall just need to calm down, eat some bread, respect people’s pronouns, and mind your own business regardless of what your opinion on it is.  Don’t like it? dont use he/him lesbian headcanons.  But don’t police how people express their sexuality/gender when the trans and gay communities have been interlinked for decades and it’s still a very complicated issue separating the two.

#stormy speaks #like the queer community back before lgbt was officially organized was the ppl who felt bold enough to come out #there were no definitions of lesbianism or gay or transgender or whatever the fuck #if a person felt too strongly trans or too strongly lesbian or whatever they'd be forced to come out and then outcasted for it #ppl like me would've stayed in the closet as a cis celibate #and i think thats the thing - trans ppl who wouldnt have discovered themselves otherwise are finding out abt themselves now #same for pans and bis #and even lesbian and gay ppl who felt like heterosexuality wasnt supposed to be fun after all #like its just a v complicated issue - pronouns have always been weird in the lgbt community is my point #just respect each other - ask for gender and pronouns and sexuality in lgbt meetings - ect