#like great now she'll run back to her t*rf friends and theyll all talk about how we live in an echo chamber

[elftwink]

one of the most infuriating things that happens in discussions about trans people is like, when a transphobe talks about how its just SOOOO easy to access gender affirming care, it's so easy to get on hrt or get referred for surgery etc... some of you dense motherfuckers respond to this by saying "no!!! it's not easy!!!! its so hard!!!" & listen. i KNOW that it IS HARD for many of us. and in many places it's getting harder. but tell me this: isn't the goal, eventually, to make it easy? not just easier than right now, but genuinely easy for a transgender person to access the care they need on whatever timeline they want, no matter how fast or slow? so if you spend all your time right now combating transphobia by insisting that transition is difficult and taxing and traumatizing, what are you going to do if and when it's none of those things? if there is no endless suffering and million hoops?

when someone says "it's too easy to transition" in order to justify their own transphobia, and you say "no it's not", you're also saying "if it were, your feelings would be justified". which is already kind of a terrible implication without taking into consideration that what most of these people mean by "too easy" is "possible". they mean that you can transition and they don't want you to. point blank. when you say it's difficult, they think "good. it should be harder". it will never be difficult enough to not be easy to them.

i am literally so sick & tired of all of us throwing each other under the bus in order to advocate for a future that is fucking miserable and awful. when someone tells you their nightmare scenario is transgender people being happy, you should not be responding to that by reassuring them that actually, transgender people are miserable and always have been and always will. when someone complains about how easy transition is you should say "good". we are never getting out of this fucking crab bucket if we're not only pulling each other down but also telling other people that pushing us back in would be fine if we were a little closer to the top.

#good idea generator #one thing i vividly remember is like. back when i read discourse blogs for fun (never do this btw this did irreparable damage to my psyche) #i saw an argument between a t*rf who had detransitioned and a trans person #where she was complaining it was too easy for her to transition and he was accusing her of lying about her transition #because he was like 'its not that easy. it cannot be that easy it never is you're lying' #but the thing was she and i had had nearly identical transitions like very similar timelines #the only thing she had that i didnt was parental support from the outset (my parents are cool btw we have long since worked it out. im js) #and it was infuriating to me that the person on my side who was arguing for my community was essentially saying #that i should have had it harder. that it wasnt possible for it to be like that #especially considering i dont think my transition was 'easy'!! certainly 'easier' than some people #but like 'easy' is so subjective and in this context mostly reliant on your own feelings and experiences #and i was not having a very easy time when starting my transition i would say #also her argument was bad in other ways made me furious that he resorted to accusing her of lying #like great now she'll run back to her t*rf friends and theyll all talk about how we live in an echo chamber #we have to stop telling people it's their moral duty to argue with bigots because some of you are terrible at it