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johnsfirememoir-blog · 7 years

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fire memoir

John M. Ortiz Professor English 1301 15 June 2017 Ortiz_John_3 I was about 20 years old and already I had worked at least 10 jobs. At this point in life I thought I needed to become financially stable before making my next big move in life. However a big change came when my girlfriend of 3 years left and I was let go from yet another company. I began to see the world as a ravenous place with little stability and a cold heart. My uncle then told me he was a fireman for 10 years. That it was a good stable job that might not make me rich but I would not have to worry about being let go because “production was down” or whatever other reason. Thus began my venture into that world. I started by seeing what it took to apply to be a fire fighter. It would take either being a certified fire fighter for the state of texas via going to college and going through a academy and earning college credit along the way or applying for a big city and having a lot of competition. College seemed the favorable option. Being young and not knowledgeable I thought I was going to have to pay for everything out of my own pocket. I was not one who made the best grades in high school and I assumed most scholarships were for kids who applied themselves a little more than I had. So I went to the schools and they said classes would cost in the thousands. In my research I found a program. A place that would help someone like me. It was the “Texas Work Force Commission.” They paid for classes books and even gave me a gas allowance. “Wow! I thought. Maybe this is meant to be” So I went and I spoke with a consultant who and after some paper work and some conversation I had what I needed to begin. Life was making a turn for the better. I felt I had a purpose and found new motivation. The schooling would be 1 semester of EMT and 2 semesters of fire academy. Speaking with counselors it seemed the best option would be to go to EMT first as that was the more academic side and the fire was more physical. I was 20 years old and had played sports through high school and in middle school. I was a varsity starter for a 5a school in Pasadena for 3 years. And after my separation from my ex I found solace by running at parks across Houston. It was settled do the hard then on to the fun. I would start in January 2010 Class starts at Houston community college on the southeast side on town. There I am nervous and not knowing what to expect. This is medical stuff I thought. I was pretty smart in school but I always fell behind. There isn't a teacher who is going to help me because she wants to see me play at the big game Friday night. Im going to be on my own. The instructor begins and starts to tell us how she is happy to see the career choice we have made and that it was honorable and that all that aside not everyone would pass. But she is here to help. There is a group of guys who had just graduated from the fire academy and are doing their EMT part 2nd. They seemed like cool guys but seemed “clickish” so I made friends with a older guy named mark and a young woman Megan. Orientation was over and the hard part began. The book for this class was huge I thought and the words at first daunting. It was just a different subject than what I was used to. I was raised by a family of boys and I was close to my grandfather who was the figure head. He was a mechanic and all 6 of his sons either worked on cars or raced them at some point. I found I was in a different world. I began to read 4 hours a day. Reading was tiresome and I would think about the guys in class talking about going to this bar or that place where they would watch whatever sport. Mark was old in comparison to the early 20 something year old’s in class. He had a wife and 2 daughters. He was about 35 at that time. When those other guys would talk abut going out. Mark would just look at me and say “look at those boys, they ain't even done anything and their already talking like they got this. They better get their heads straight.” I just nodded and agreed. I was pretty shy but I did want to go out and be one of the guys. Megan seemed indifferent. I couldn't tell if she just had a boy friend or was just that focused. Mark and I would talk and I had trade stories through the academy mostly about what motivated us. He was like me looking for work and not finding stability but also he longed ever so much to be a fire fighter for “The city of Houston!” As he put it. He wanted to work where he grew up and have his kids see him as a good man. Me on the other hand. My motivation was different. Along with looking for stable work. I told Mark that the year before school started my girlfriend whom I proposed to left. A proposal that was I think immature and thoughtless I did love and have feelings for her but nothing substantial I always knew I my heart she didn't love me the way I cared for her. Mark would just say “boy you dodged a bullet.” I just nodded and agreed. Then came the fact I spent about a year roaming around between friend’s and relatives house’s. I didn't even have my own car. My father had multiple cars when I was growing up. He was a bit of a car hoarder. At least that's what I call him and he was not the easiest man to get along with. It was quite often we would fight. Well around this time he was quite stressed about his divorce and was afraid of losing his house. This created tension between us as I think. He never really spoke from the heart or showed emotion other than when he was mad. I am sure he wanted to provide but could not deal with life’s stress. Long story short we fought and he took back his car. I had to leave home. So I had no car to my name. No place that was a home. No special woman to stand beside me and I held jobs sporadically. Well it was sometime in October 2009 when I told my uncle Carlos what was going on that he told me I was going to live with him. The rule was I had to go to school and help out around the house. At this point I had bounced around that nothing seemed sure. However in time Carlos proved true and I had a stable place to stay. The next big help came from my grandfather. He was a mechanic and gave me a car. Not the nicest one but it ran and got me from point A to B. 2010 and I had a cassette player. Man I thought well at least girls won’t be a distraction with a car like this. It was a Suzuki side kick. Quite often I had to put water in the radiator and the paint job was well worn. Now my grandfather was a tough man. He had beliefs and he would stick to them. He came to America from Mexico and would always tell me stories how he was abandoned as a boy and he made it here on his own with no help and being betrayed by people here. He would always say “you if you do good I go with you but you if you do bad you on you own.” In his Spanglish. This is something I had seem him prove when he denied help to some uncles in the past for their own endeavors. He was a hard and stubborn man and I took his help with no expectations of a lasting aide. So it seemed mark and I had a lot to work for. We had study groups and in time even began to run together to get ready for the next phase. The fire academy. Megan came out to study but running was more of a Mark and I kind of thing. Sometimes we would go watch sports at a bar but that was rare and about as rare as me going out. Which I could probably count on 1 hand. I will never forget what it felt like to sit on the bed at home and just read and read and just think to myself if Carlos can have a stable pay check and feed himself then that's all I need. Just something solid until I can move on to the next phase of life. I did well for myself and was a B student. Something I was both really happy about and kind of disappointed. Happy because I passed and was making progress but kind of bummed because I put a lot of time in and thought I deserved more but a piece of paper saying you have your cert is the same for a A student or C student. So I continued with mark and Megan in our groups. Time passed and we all passed together. For the first time in my life I felt I accomplished something. Carlos being the motivational guy he was just shrugged it off and said wait for that fire academy. Though his face showed pride. I learned to read his face not his words. He always wanted better for me. As for my grandpa he just said good job and told me more stories of him struggling as a boy. He seemed to go on tangents a lot. He was retired and I guess he began to reflect on life more. Mark and I continued to run the time came and all we had to do was be ready for whatever physical punishment the fire academy would bring. I remembered Carlos coming home with red marks and bruises on his back when he entered the fire academy for the city of Houston. I did not know what to expect but I knew it would not be easy. Then came the surprising news. Mark my run partner and study buddy who had the same goals as me told me he had asthma. A shocking and concerning thing to hear. But then how have you been running? I asked. Not knowing how asthma would affect him and also so what does that mean if you’re a Fireman. Then came more news. Mark was not going to the fire academy with me. He found a job and decided he needed to work now and take care of his family. I was crushed for him. All that talk about being a fire fighter for Houston and now he had to change his plans. So I told him he was doing what any good man would do for his family. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me “don’t fuck this up” haha I laughed. He always talked like he was a father figure. In his mind he was but to me he was a good friend just older. The time came it was the first day of Houston Community Fire academy. I felt like a kid starting school for the first time again. Once again we had a orientation. The instructors introduced themselves and the whole feel of class was already different. In the last course the instructor was a larger set woman whom spoke of not everyone passing because the course was hard academically. This time I had lean male instructors who broke down their expectations and that physical repercussions would be a thing. Our head instructor captain Mayes his name was. He had a big black thick mustache that seemed to grow out then down and wrapped around the side of his lips down to his chin. I will never forget him standing straight up always stroking it when he went into deep thought. Next was captain Hernandez whom stated our mothers were not here to baby us and that he would be all the love we needed. A thicker guy but still toned but he didn't seem to be a runner but that was alright because lastly there was captain Del La Rosa he was a marathon runner and made it clear we would be running so many miles a day. Also if we did not comply with their demands we would run a tower. Which is a building that is 6 stories tall with access to a roof for a 7th floor. The guys in class were also young kids mostly leaner than me. I felt I had not prepared enough but I came to realize how tough I was mentally in the next few months. We also had 2 females. I found that interesting but cool. Day one and we began by standing up and introducing ourselves and our motivation to be a fire fighter. Some for money others for their family but really it is always about money. Only 2 guys said it was a family tradition. I thought it was cool that of the guys with dad’s and grandparents who were fire fighters that I was the only one who had a aunt fire fighter. She actually paved the way for my uncle and I really believe. Carlos had no ambition for the job like I until she gave him the steady job speech which I started to think he ripped off of her and gave to me. Geez Carlos be original bro. I thought. So my turn came and I said thoughtlessly that I wanted to be like my family and do something good for the community. I honestly had no idea what it took to do the job. In my mind Carlos was a soft handed man who preferred paper work to physical labor. And even with family in the Houston fire department I had little exposure to the world. That was day one. Day 2 and we were already in high gear everyone showed up with their uniforms pressed and starched. I also had my clothes ironed but not because im the type of person to be so prepared or type A. Simply my grandmother said it was a good idea in her way which means she will hound me into doing what she thinks is best. We were all in class early books out and ready to sit and learn like what you would imagine a college class is. That however was not the case. Del la Cruz showed up and said on time to run. We had 10 minutes to run from the classroom to the dressing room change and go do what I considered semi marathon training experiences. First hour of class and I was already soaked in sweat. We ran in cadence to what Del La Cruz called his running play list. Ill never forget them. Motor motor got a lot of motivation. Then we would repeat then dedi dedi got a lot of dedication. Then whatever variance he wanted followed. Push ups, sit ups, and a variety of other workouts would follow along with getting acquainted with the tower. A tall slender building 6 stories tall with access to the roof for a 7th floor was used also and that would become a dreaded place. Running up flights of stairs was exhausting. All the training I did before the academy and I felt like I was not ready for running up those stairs. Most of the other guys did well and we seemed like a solid class as in most guys were prepared. We had 2 girls in class one was married to one of the guys. She didn’t seem so well prepared meaning she looked about 50 lbs over weight and could not do any push ups. Now we had a guy named George who was also heavy set almost as wide as he was tall. But watching him run was like watching a grizzly taking stride. When I finished the runs before him I would like to watch that stride come in. Like a bad version of bay watch but its what I had at the time. After the morning work. It was back to class. That was only for that day. We started having our workouts after class the second week. Compared to the EMT program studying for the fire side was easy. It was interesting and I always just felt like I was reading brochures compared to the large foreign textbook I grew accustomed to using as a pillow. So the weeks went on and the guys got to know each other. Most people fell into clicks which is something I never liked because I never felt I fit in anywhere. At lunch the guys with military experience had one table and the black guys at another and so on. Racism was not a issue I think it is just people finding cultural similarities and their own comfort zones and so that’s how it was a for a little. Of course we all intermingled. But I didn’t find that group of guys I thought I was going to find that would be my drinking going out and having fun buddies. At least not in the beginning of the academy. By the end of the first month things became a little routine class at at certain time and then the end of the day workout. Always exhausting but I handled it. Besides I had the grizzly and the other girl to keep the attention off me. They would always be in the back of the pack. Although George was not as far behind like she was. I have forgotten her name. She only lasted a little over a month before she quit. My grandmother the woman who raised me as her own and is and always will be my mother always made me lunch. The mornings felt like elementary with the food being set aside for me as I went off to school. Well after 2 months I will never forget this day. I forgot my food. It was not a big deal that I didn’t take my lunch. I had money to buy lunch and a little Suzuki sidekick to get me to the nearby subway. But for whatever reason she had spoken to my grandfather that day and they were separated but still would speak from time to time. Well at some point in the morning around11 I see this familiar black truck drive up to the parking lot behind the tower. I thought nothing of it until one of the instructors called me and said someone was looking for me. It was my grandparents with lunch! Now my grandmother is mom but my grandfather was dad just as much although my father is in my life I was always close to grandpa. This brought a tear to my eye. He didn’t have to come but that wasn’t what hit me. I knew he wanted to come and see me in my fire academy uniform. He was a tough man and also routine. My uncle Ramiro once said that dad “has not left the 6 block perimeter of his house” just enough to pay his bills and buy food. We never asked dad to leave because we all knew he didn’t like to leave his house and so on special occasions like birthdays and anything really we had to go to him. Yet here he was at the academy. I felt motivation like I had never felt to do this and have him at my graduation. The first semester ended and I think I lost 15lbs. There is a picture of me and I had fallen asleep at lunch with my head in my chest and arms crossed. I never liked the picture it showed me that I was heavier than I wanted to be with big chubby cheeks and arms thick and you could tell did not have definition. That was clearly changing. The fire academy was a really really expensive workout program and it was working! Before the 1st semester ended we had a physical ability test as well as some academic tests. We started losing people. Both of the girls couldn’t do the physical and we lost one of the guys who although physical did not take the testing serious and came just short of the requirements. David was his name he and I remained friends for a little after that but he had to find other thing in life to do. At times the academy did not feel like school but like guys just hanging out and working out and shooting the shit together. Then when people were weeded out. It was like reality hit and we remembered why we were here. To get our certifications and find work. I sometimes forgot the gravity of what I was doing but always took class serious. We had lost 3 or 4 people the first semester. Semester 2 by comparison was a walk in the park. The tests became easier and we spend more time outside running drills than anything really. It does not take much brain power to advance fire hose. It really brought to life the phrase “getting paid from the neck down” we would pull hose here and there. Load it and deploy it. Semester 2 was all about being outside and sweating. Running around and doing the workouts then playing with fire fighter tools. I recall one day the guys in class were starting to relax and take things easy but the instructors decided to remind us that this is was and made us do 100 push ups. Then someone spoke up out of line. This was a paramilitary organization after all. I mean we did have to be clean shaved. So another 50 was added then another guy spoke up for whatever reason then another 50. All in all the class did about 400 push ups through the day not at once. I don’t think I could ever have done that. But I know this guy named belt a hard working carpenter pushed the envelope and hit 550 that day. I took the burden with him and another guy that messed up so the whole class wouldn’t have to suffer. I hit 600 push ups that day. Far from the 50 I could barely do in a row with the class first started. Towards the end of the semester all we had to worry about was passing the burns. These were training drills where we had to gear up and go into a training building with pallets on fire and we would have to perform whatever task they gave us. Burn 1 was easy. Just gear up and feel the heat inside a Konex box. It is pretty much one of those big metal shipping containers you see on commercial boats transporting goods. Burn 2 a little tougher gear up go inside and advance the hose to the fire then go out. Burn 3 is where things become real but no significant task for any of the guys whom like myself also found themselves in better shape. Conditioning was key here. We would gear up advance hose and pull out the dummy. The last burn burn 4 was a true test of physical conditioning and mental toughness. When you put on the gear. Your skin does not breathe. You sweat and it has nowhere to go and no air to wick it off and cool you. Therefore you stay hot. The gear itself is a heat barrier but works by absorbing the heat and keeping it off your body with its 3 layers. The outside absorbing and the inner 2 for moisture barrier and the inner most the inner lining. Burn 4 we went as a 4 man crew. We geared up in set time then went up to a door prop and used skills to open it. We went and advanced line to the door. Then came climbing up a ladder to the 2nd floor roof with tools in hand. Next we had to cut a hole on the roof using a saw then we went back in and pulled a dummy out and that was it. I think I drank near a gallon of water after we finished that. I sat there and watched other guys go and then fall to their knees and drink up water and their eyes fill with pride because they just did one of the hardest things they had ever done in their life and it is something that is a accomplishment. I think every boy wants to go on a adventure and be that hero. This was like that but set up and no real life to be saved but after it you felt like you could do something heroic should you be called upon. We only had a few weeks left in the academy after that I so I began to seek work as a EMT. I quickly found a job part time while in school that became full time after. I would take people in nursing homes to dialysis or the hospital if it was emergent. That was my time in the academy. I went from a overweight guy to one who had decent tone and had a father show up even though he never left his 6 block radius. Had felt like I had done something to be better and stand on my own 2 feet and support myself and did it mostly on my own. I didn’t need a woman to support me. I felt renewed. Graduation came and my whole family showed up. Carlos showed up in his decorated fire uniform and along with my mother pinned my badge. It was more than enough that my dad showed up. He didn’t have to get on stage.

After thought: these events happened in 2010 and it had been a long time since I had reflected and thought about these events that are significant in not only the path I ended up taking for a career. But as a stepping stone to other aspects of my life. I gained confidence in myself to do things I thought I could not do. I made friends whom I still speak to and even have worked with and fought fires along side. This reminds me of the young boy I was and shows me some of the man I became. Also my grandfather has since passed in may of 2016. Seeing him at the academy that day will forever be with me as one of my most cherished memories. This memoir should make people think that if they just go after something even if things seem against them they should just do it.

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