#lifecoaching motivation voicesinmyhead lifecoachcollins lizardbrain weightloss

[life-coach-collins-blog]

The Voices in my Head

Scene: It’s 5 million BC. You and your hunky, Neanderthal of a husband live in a rent-controlled cave on the ‘nice side’ of the forest. Although you aren’t exactly at the top of the food chain, and your forehead protrudes a little… life is pretty sweet. You know how to rock a good leopard-skin mini skirt and you still have most of your teeth. Life is good. One day, you have a crazy sugar craving, so you decide to leave the cave to pick some berries. Then, all of a sudden you hear the blood curdling roar of what you assume to be a lion. A small voice inside of your head says “Stay in the freakin cave or you’re gonna die!” And, because you are smart enough to listen to that little voice, you survive, and so does your bloodline. As a result, your entire lineage is hardwired to listen to that voice for the next 5 million years. 

It’s now 2018, and despite evolution’s best attempts to perfect the human race, that nagging voice inside of us all still exists, but now he has some friends. Allow me to introduce you to your team - the voices inside your head:

1. The Scaredy Cat: This is “stay in the cave you’re gonna die” voice - the upgraded model. Although the possibility of being eaten by a lion is no longer  a real threat, no one has clued this guy in on that fact yet. Plus, there are SO many more things to be afraid of now (hello identity theft, I’m talking about you). So he still wants to keep you safe and sound inside of the cave. He is the loudest voice you’ll hear when you want to try something risky. “Don’t start your own business! What are you crazy?You’ll lose all of your money, be forced to be homeless and then you’ll DIE.” or “Don’t spend all of your money on that dream around-the-world vacation for which you’ve been saving for the last ten years. The stock market is probably going to crash soon, you’ll lose your job, you’ll be forced to be homeless, and then you’ll DIE!” Just like 5 million years ago, his sole job is to protect you from certain death. 

2. The Regina George: This chick is a real piece of work. She is the voice that constantly tells you that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not good looking enough, not hard working enough - just not enough. Any time you question whether or not you should go forward with something, she’ll be there to tell you how much you SUCK and why you shouldn’t even bother. “Don’t talk to that boy! Who are you kidding? You’re a fugly hag, why would he want you?” or “Don’t apply for that dream job! You didn’t go to a good enough school; you’re basically a dumbass. You’re just setting yourself up to fail.” or “Oh my God, did you really just say what you just said out aloud in a meeting? What are you an idiot? Never speak up in meetings ever again. You’re too stupid to say anything anyone wants to hear.” It’s a verbal “Burn Book” running through your head anytime she’s around. Her sole job is to protect you from public humiliation.

3. Splurgette -  Ahhh, this one may seem like your friend, but be wary. Let’s imagine that you’re on a diet that doesn’t allow you unplanned sweets. Someone in the office brings in cupcakes, and BAM, this little bitch will start singing in your ear, “Oh come on, just take one. You’ve been so good. One little cupcake won’t kill you. Splurge a little. You totally deserve this.” And the next thing you know you’re on a six week sugar bender and you’re dumpster diving in the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot looking for leftover munchkins… okay, maybe not that far, but you see my point. This chick is the unofficial spokeswoman of Netflix, as she is the reason that you binge-watched three entire seasons of Nurse Jackie last weekend instead of doing laundry, resulting in you having to wear a bathing suit to work on Monday. Her sole job is to protect you from discomfort and to ensure your happiness in the very short term.  

4. The Princess - She is your inner Veruca Salt. She refuses to do anything unless it absolutely makes her feel amazing. She feels entitled to enjoy every human task. She and Splurgette are basically in a co-dependent relationship of instant gratification. You’ll typically hear her when your alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. because you promised yourself that you’d go to the gym before work. “But I don’t wanna!” she’ll incessantly whine until you reset your alarm and go back to sleep. She was also really well known back when you were in high school, when you knew you had a homework assignment due, and she’d say “But I don’t wanna! I want to chill with my homies, instead! That’s so much more fun. Doing homework sucks and makes me so unhappy,” which resulted in you eventually having to write your English paper on the bus in crayon, because you never got around to feeling like doing it. Her sole job is to protect you from doing anything that doesn’t make you immediately happy. 

Here’s the surprising part - they are all on YOUR team. They are on YOUR side. Crazy, right? Although their attempts are completely misguided, each and every one of them intends on protecting you. They want you to always be safe. They want you to always be happy. They want you to experience safety and happiness right now. And because of this, their guidance feels so right, in the moment you REALLY want to listen to them.

Good news! Believe it or not, the human species has evolved pretty amazingly in the last 5 million years. The voices in your head, sometimes referred to as your ‘lizard brain’ are not the only part of your brain that has a voice. Get ready, because I’m about to impart some impressive medical wisdom on you. Humans have developed what is known as the “pre-frontal cortex.” This section of your cranium was created to help you make complex decisions. The problem is, making really tough decisions all day long is super exhausting for the little guy. To prevent a mental breakdown, the brain’s default is to allow the ‘lizard brain’ to make most decisions. Think about it, if you had to stop and have a hardy think  every time you needed to take a step forward, you’d never make it out of the house. It’s good that the brain defaults the simple stuff to the less sophisticated part of the brain. However, sometimes the brain over defaults these decisions and stuff that probably deserves a bit more thought, gets bypassed. There is hope my friends - you are 100% in control of your brain.

This means that when “Regina George” tells you that you are too fat, stupid, and ugly to get that dream job, you can understand that she is only trying to prevent you from future humiliation. Say to her (in your head, otherwise people will think you’re nuts) - “Hey girl Hey! Thanks for watching out for me, and your opinion is noted. I think I got if from here,” and you let that sexy pre-frontal cortex take the wheel for a bit. The same is true for when “Splurgette” and “The Princess” try to talk you out of doing something you don’t feel like doing in the moment. Simply say to them “I get it ladies, this really sucks, but in the long-run, this is going to help me achieve my goals.” It takes some practice, I mean, you aren’t going to undo 5 million years of evolution in one night, but you can get there. Oh, and by the way, if you need some help - I hear life coaches are really good at this sort of thing… just saying.

#lifecoaching motivation voicesinmyhead lifecoachcollins lizardbrain weightloss