#leaveme alone to my suffering | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away · 3 years

Text

go the frick away if you find this its shit, and you don't want to read It Im not joking just don't, its not for you you touch it I will eat you

Fuck off bitches its a suicidal rant I don't give a flying fish fried fuck if you think my life has more meaning that the american school system, you try to help me i swear i will deate this page bitches i won't joke let me vent in peace i need this tumblr nd if you try to report thsi I'll have to deltete it and I can't and i need this I swear im fine jus t go away

swear to fucking god I'm going to kill myself. if fucken hate my life. every one is a motherfricken cockslot of a homophobe and I hate myself and my own mom can't even love me enoght to not be a shitty person. I hate her and my dad can't fucken care less, and If i get a tatatto I am disowned wft if im gay, you kill me you fucken trump supporter. like you r so fucken rasict and married to a poc wtf is wrong with you. I am so fucken patethic and I can't stop and Im so fucken skinny and still look like shit, and I get so hungry it hurts and my thighs still look thick and I don't want to be gay anymore, I like girls but Its wrong or not? or whats with my gender its wrong its stupid i just hate it, and Im not smart anymore and Im gonna fail because the USA can't work and the country is gonna colaspe in a decade, and I am so sucky at schhol, I can't fucking spell for shit, wtf I can't do anything I should die, Im not gifted anymore I just want out I need out i can't do this wtf is this shit, I hate it im so dumb no ones gonna hit me like my mom is why do I nearly cry everytime someone insluts me and my breasts are too big i don;t like it it should go away i can't look at them, its to bad, I just want out, but I have to be there for lizzy she already self harms and she has it worse and im so stupid for thinking i should die, she is worse than me, i should be better, I can't be there for her, what about my bestie, I swore on the river styx I'd be there for him, and I'd talk to him, but he probably has other mutals and that person that didn't answer my ask and posted about thought I was disrespectful peroably, and they hate the anon now and thats me, they hate me just like my class mates is this a fucken panic attack, I want to call my friend but he has enogh and she has enough and all my friend that are ok don't talk to me and the lights to fuken bright now, god i even fake this shit, im shit, i should die, I know im not adhd, i can't be overloaded with shit like music at a fair or light. and my phone is locked because i need it to smile after my mom yells at me and they say I use it to much but i just want to feel ok again and its locked now god i fucken hate this im shouldn't breath that lud it s dumb its dumb I should die god I want to go home but I am home and its hell, and my mom is chanting angain, and I don't want to be reliogus anymore, I hate it, its not real to me. I just want out but I can't because if I miss school, I get a low grade that gets me a o and I fail the class, and I can;t because its a credit class, and I need it to graduate and I am gifted or some shit and If i mess up I miss my one shot in life, I don't want a life, its too much so many taxes too many lies on the news, everyone hates me, I hate me, I want to die, its so dumb thatI am typing this and trying not to cry I just want out, I don't want an office job, but i want to live and not be homelesss, so I suffer to suffer, i shouldn't even try I want to die I just want to go back to before this started I hate this, I wish my mom would hold me again and not hit me wtf am I crying my mom willf ind out, she'll say Im dramtic or blame me and I'll get hit and my dad willl get mad for casuing a loud fight and my phone will be taken and all me friends will be lost to me and I need thema and its dumb, because they don't want me, they like me because I let them talk all the time, they need me tho because they hace bad thoughts and I can't hold it togther Im going crazy like azula, and my favorite tumblr user ever donsn't like her and she would hate me she hate me she ahtes my type of person she's ace and I love her and she ahtes me and I can't tak to her just follow her like a creep and ima nerd like ym mom said and its dumb and I want out iwant to die I just want to go home Im swear Im not faking I know others ahve it worse but i can;t do it I going crazy I jus t wan it to stop please why can't I even pick up the blabe and cut, I just want out but it hurt when my friend cut i should delte this o post It i don't know its a void no ones there, no ones here

for me I alone and I should I should stop bothering people on tumblr, they don't like me I don;t need to be here, I should die Ishould die ishould die i want to go home this is dumb Im faking it im noyt going crazy i know Im fine i just want out where are you, i just need one person that cares, and I won't ever tellthem or bother them with this crap i just want them to care stop tears, I can't let ym family know they think im weir dt they hate me they hate me I should just leave my own mother regrets my life, then says she loves me I don't know i want outi want to die go away its to loud in ym head so I type like a craxy person and till im bad at that i can't do this I can't even look at the screen please go away just leaveme I want to go home I want to die iwant out plase god its dumb wtf do I even try I will post this because no one will see it and its like leaving a note after my death if someone finds my remains. fuck im so dumb i make my life worse i just want out. o gos i want out now i nedd a new life or no life god i ewant otodie

0 notes

ko-nari · 4 years

Text

To the boy who broke my heart

How are you? I hope you're doing well. Do you still think of me? Like, how am I doing right now or if my back still hurts like how I used to complain about it all the time before? Do you still think of me? Because I still do think of you.

I still could remember how you would lay your head on my shoulder and sleep peacefully there as if it was as comfortable as your pillow on your bed. And when we have our Calculus class and I couldn't understand a thing, you would voluntarily discuss how to solve it.

Those simple gesture of yours, how come I did not notice you're doing it all for me because you like me? When you would carry my bag full of books for me as we both walk from school to Levitown, when I was cold and you lend me your jacket even though you were cold too, and whenever I needed help you would make sure you could help me.

You have always looked at me more than your friend, but I have always looked at you as my best friend.

I'm sorry if I realized it a little late. When you confessed and told me you actually do not want to tell it to me because you know I'll never look at you the same way, I didn't know the exact words to say because I like someone else back then.

Timing's just not right.

Our friendship didn't end there, perhaps we got closer after you confessed. Was it because I already know you like me or because I'm starting to like you, too?

A month passed, I liked another guy. You were there for me to support me. You would wear that wide smile of yours and tease me whenever my crush would pass by.

But behind those smiles were pain.

You would show that you were okay but I had no idea you were hurt because of me.

But when I was the one crying because of a guy, you were there to comfort me. You listened. You stayed by my side. You stayed the whole time because you still feel something for me.

“Please cheer up,” You would say to me. “Hindi ako gumigising ng maaga at papasok para makita kang nasasaktan.”

I would cry over guys who ignored me, but I never thought thar one day, I would shed tears because of you.

Whenever I close my eyes, I could still remember the words you told me that night. It's like a broken vinyl record being played on the vinyl player.

“I can only love you now as my best friend.”

Sometimes I would think, was this my karma when I left you before? Did I do something wrong for you to leaveme all of a sudden? Was your “I'm still not ready for relationships” just an excuse?

Not gonna lie, you made me question my own worth. For months I suffered. Alone. Sometimes I would just cry out of the blue because I can't hide the pain anymore. I would cry myself to sleep just to make myself feel better.

It was so hard, you know? Getting over you.

But it was harder— it's harder to let you go.

If you would ask me how am I now, I'm all good. I forgave you for leaving me. I wanted to hate you but I couldn't. You're still my bestfriend. Our relationship made me realize a lot of things, thanks to you.

I know we can't bring the bond we had before— but at least I still have you.

1 note · View note