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thatesqcrush · 4 years

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Soul Savin’

Rafael Barba x Reader. AN: Taking a lot of liberties and using a lot of prompts and part of a challenge here, specifically: @madpanda75‘s “from your smutty prompt list, can you please do “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!” where Barba and the reader go to a bar, have some tequila, then do some body shots” as well as @delia26‘s “I turned out liking your a lot more than I originally planned.” Finally, using Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your Soul” as part of @thefanficfaerie‘s birthday challenge. AN2: Trying to write through grief is weird AF. Apologies in advance for typos & nonsensical shit.

CW: language, eventually it’ll be NSFW. Angst, slow-burning, fluff. A mixed bag.

WC: 2K

***

Rafael was surprised to find you at the bar. Normally Forlini’s was his choice establishment. He had been handed a difficult loss so he decided to go five miles upward from home and work. It was a desperate attempt to get away from it all and away from anyone he knew. You were drowning your sorrows with some kind of alcohol – he couldn’t tell what it was. Your back was slumped, your shoulders were curved, and your head was hung low. You appeared forlorn. It had rained earlier in the day and your hair, which had been perfectly coiffed earlier, was messily undone. Your shirt clung to your skin and Rafael surmised you must have been caught in the earlier rainstorm that took place. He had heard the brontide during his travels.

“Detective Y/N,” Rafael greeted as he took the bar stool to your right. “I see you started without me.”

You looked up at the prosecutor who you’ve come to work so closely with. You gave him a half smile. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not bothering to greet him.

“I wanted to get away from everyone,” Rafael replied as he motioned to the bartender to come over. You raised your brow at his response - seemed you two had something in common.

“What are you drinking?”

“Grouse,” you replied to which Rafael crinkled his nose. His eyes scanned the array of bottles behind the bar and when the bartender came over, he ordered Bruichladdich Black Art neat – one for you and one for him. “How you can drink that swill is beyond me,” he retorted.

You narrowed your eyes. “Not all of us have deep pockets counselor. Some of us are broke like a joke.”

Rafael huffed slightly as he handed his card over to the bartender. “Keep it open,” he requested. He waved slightly over your way and instructed the bartender that he would pay your tab. You began to protest but Rafael shook his head, insisting. “Broke like a joke right?”

You swiveled in your seat and turned around, your back to the bar. You watched as the other patrons mingled about. You took a long languid sip of the scotch and let it swish around in your mouth. You appreciated the complex notes and hummed your approval. “This is good. Really good.” Still, as impressed as you were, your voice was quiet, and he could hear the regret and disappointment in your voice.

Rafael cocked his head, looking over at you. Fifteen years his junior, Rafael was completely fascinated with you when he first met you a year and a half ago. You had made your own lateral move to SVU, transferring over from homicide. Rafael would watch you out of the corner of his eye, admiring your intelligence and quick wit. You showed empathy for the victims. You had a keen sense of skirting the law but were always able to maintain its integrity. A lot of the time, you drove him – and sometimes your commander – ostensibly crazy. To top it off, you were beautiful. Whenever he was in close quarters with you, he felt enchanted, like a moth to a flame.

“Don’t take it so hard,” Rafael replied quietly, trying hard to ignore how your shirt clung to your dampened skin and what it did to him. “You did all that you could. Your testimony was solid.”

You snorted in response before taking another pull of your drink. “I like to think that I knew exactly what to do – with this case. How to approach it and how to solve it. I have the skill, I could see the path, the steps and I keep thinking… why couldn’t the jury see it?” You tapped your temple - your eyes were brimmed with unshed tears. Eventually one lone tear betrayed you and traveled southward. Rafael resisted the urge to cup your face.

You cast your eyes over Rafael, watching him with intent – his strong jawline, his distinguished nose, his pink lips, his seafoam green eyes. If you squinted hard enough, you could make out his five o’clock shadow which stemmed from his greying temples. It was too much at times. His handsomeness was churlish and discourteous.

Working with Rafael was as the cool kids said, wild. Never in your career had you met someone who was so emblazoned and passionate by and of, the law. He was guided both by the spirit of the law and by the letter of it. You were not sure as to when your torch for Rafael was set ablaze, but it was. The embers in your heart were rekindled when you met him. You initially pushed those feelings aside, focusing on work. For you, things in homicide seemed – easier almost; the majority of the time it was black and white. Not in SVU. It was as if you had to work harder to prove the victims, were indeed the victims. The grey, the ambiguity, the dubiousness of consent. Sometimes securing justice was victorious – and other times, like now, it felt fleeting. You worked with a stellar team and you learned so much; it made you a better detective. As complicated as SVU was – so were your feelings for Rafael.

The bar which had been quiet, began to fill with patrons. You looked at the clock and surmised happy hour was starting early.

Rafael set his drink down and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves, showing off his muscular forearms. You took a deep breath and focused your view on the now empty glass in front of you. You motioned for the bartender to refill your drink.

“So, what are you doing here?” you asked as you leaned forward to pluck a cherry from the garnish caddy. “You don’t live this far up, do you?”

“No.” Rafael replied, as he leaned over to snatch the cherry from you. You gave him a pointed look and he gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in response. He popped the cherry in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “I used to come here back when I worked corporate.”

“You used to work corporate?” you sputtered. You grabbed a napkin and wiped your face and shirt, feeling your face grow hot with embarrassment. “When?”

“How do you think I can afford these suits?” Rafael retorted. He waved his hand, “Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical. I worked in mergers and corporate acquisitions after graduation. They say loyalty lies where money is tied. And for awhile, I stayed. I was fortunate to get a free ride, so I was able to save up. I didn’t have to worry about debt.” A look so subtle flashed across your face that Rafael was not even sure he even caught it.

Rafael continued, “Eventually, my mother needed help with my abuelita; she was getting older - more frail. Like the good little Catholic boy that I was... you know, guilt and responsibility - I came home from Cambridge and worked in midtown to be close by. The work was good, but unfulfilling. I wanted to do something where I could use my Spanish and feel connected to the world. There was a lead on opening with the Brooklyn D.A.’s office, and that’s how I eventually ended up here. The hours were better. I could be with my family more.”

“Well boy wonder, I wish I could say my story was half as good as that. But there is not much to tell,” you replied. You took Rafael’s drink from in front of him and kicked it back.

“Tell me,” Rafael implored. “I want to hear it.”

“Why?” you questioned defensively. “We’re not friends.” ‘We’re not anything.’ you continued in your mind.

“We are friends. We’re colleagues after all. I’m friends with Liv… and don’t tell anyone, because I will deny it, but Carisi too.”

You cocked your head at Rafael’s response. You momentarily sobered up and nodded. “Okay.” And so you did – you told him how like Carisi, you did your own five borough tour – starting in Brooklyn where you grew up and then moved to Queens to go to St. John’s. You moved in with your boyfriend after graduation and lived in the Bronx. But that romance while long lived, caused heartbreak and from there you enrolled in the Academy. You worked your way through and through before you made your move to SVU.

More drinks were had. At one point, Rafael and you both decided that food was desperately needed to sop up the liquor: bacon wrapped onion rings, pork belly sliders and nachos were just some of the things you both gorged on while continuing to talk. Hours were quickly spent.

You stood up from your seat and felt unsteady. Despite your attempts to fuel, the alcohol had already taken a grip on your system. Your mind was fuzzy and your tongue was starting to feel numb. Two large hands gripped your waist to steady you. You felt your face heat up once more and you mumbled your thanks.

“It’s late.” you replied, feeling his breath on yours. You wondered if Rafael could feel how quick your heart was racing. All the time spent together tonight had only further fueled your feelings. “I should go.”

“Not alone. You’ve had a lot to drink.”

You cocked your brow. “I can take care of myself, Rafael.”

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable. You know the work we do; the people we come across. If something happened to you because you weren’t sound…” His voice was low, filled with concern.

You grabbed his forearm, bringing his attention back to focus. “Okay, okay. You’ll see me home then.”

Rafael paid the open tab and escorted you outside. He stepped off the curb and flagged down a taxi. You managed to mumble your address to the driver and Rafael was pleased to know you actually lived close by to him. He wondered why you chose a midtown Manhattan bar to congregate at.

The cab ride was mostly silent. Finally, the cab came to a stop. Rafael again, took care of the fare and he accompanied you to your apartment door. You fumbled with your purse and it fell to the ground, scattering its contents. Rafael helped you gather your stuff. He handed you the keys and he let out a low hum as your hands touched ever so briefly. You opened the door, and leaned against the doorway. “Thanks for the drinks and thanks for getting me home.”

“You’re welcome Y/N,” Rafael replied looking past your shoulder, allowing a brief glance of what your apartment was like. It was compulsively neat - like his.

“I’ll see you Monday.”

Rafael nodded, the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. There was something about it that unsettled you - but in a good way. You shut the door and leaned against it. Confusion settled in. You felt as if everything you consumed was ready to upchuck. Rafael let out a breath as the door shut with a click.

As fate would have it, it began to downpour on the walk home. Rafael quickened his pace through the city streets, getting soaked to the bone. Finally he was back at his own apartment. He slumped against his own door, feeling defeated not just in his court case, but in other matters as well.

He finally pulled himself away and dried off, slipping into black light-knit sweatpants and a Harvard t-shirt. As he settled into bed, his phone buzzed. His heart began to pound - almost foretelling his oncoming hangover as he realized he had a text message from you.

I meant what I said; thanks for everything tonight. It was fun amigo. We should do it again.

Rafael’s dreams that night were filled with longing and desire for you. It was in his dreams, he was with you and he woke up the next morning, filled with bitterness for the unattainable. He just didn’t know that your sleep was fraught with similar dreams.

TBC.

Tags: @madpanda75 @youreverycolor @tropes-and-tales @neely1177 @thebabybookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @delia26 @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoollike @fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary @theenchantedgalleryofstories @thefanficfaerie @trekinthruthestarwars @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @melsquared79 - anyone else, just ask.

#rafael barba and reader #barba and reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #reader x rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba imagine

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itsholymoley · 6 years

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Tag Game(s)!

So I’ve been tagged in so many tag games over the past few weeks that I’ve been meaning to do so I’m just doing one big post lmao

It’s under a read more bc it’ll be looong (sorry if it doesn’t work) also I combined some of the similar ones

General Questions:

I was tagged by @starksparker @the-claire-bitch-project @tomsfireheart @bisexualparkerr and @transspideyboi

Nickname(s): A bunch that make no sense lol, with my family it’s Noodles or Nuls, with my irl friends it’s Hwalio and recently with my Tumblr fam I’ve gotten Juls and J

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Libra

Height: 5′8″ (a little under)

Age: 19 (almost 20 bc 19 sounds so young omg)

Birthday: October 6th ‘98

Time: 8.20pm

Favourite bands/solo artists: Oof, I like too many genres of music to list all my favourites but all time fav mayybe Escape The Fate ???

Song stuck in my head: Literally just bc of that line it’s not Favorite Record by FOB, I’m the MOST impressionable person on earth

Last movie I saw: Incredibles 2!!

Last show I watched: Archer

Last thing I googled: The line of the FOB song that came into my head so I could find out which song it’s from ahahaha #exposed

Other blogs: I have a humour/trash blog I’ve had for ages but I don’t really want to share that, soz

Why you created this blog: I love one soft boy and the fandom inspired me to start writing again so I figured I’d give it a shot

What you post/reblog: Marvel memes, photos of Tom, fics, moodboards, etc, etc

Do I get asks: I get lovely daily reminders from Rosie and Myra as well as the ocassional moodboard/fic request or general question

Why is chose my username: dunno, I just thought of it and really liked it ahaha

Following: like who or how many? but Tom Holland fanblogs and 290

Followers: 945 (so fucking close to 1k oh my god)

Average amount of sleep: my fitbit says between 7 and 8 (although last week it was 5 rip)

Lucky number: 6?

What I’m wearing: big ole sweater, some fake jean leggings and ugg boots lmao

Dream job: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh research? But honestly who knows

Dream trip: I would love love love to go back to Europe (esp Italy and Germany) but also I’d love to visit Vietnam and Japan and go back to Cambodia, but also I really want to explore America and Africa, plus New Zealand and more of Aus and the general South Pacific sooo everywhere?

Favourite food: uhhh roast lamb? Or chicken tenders lmao

Play an instrument: I was pretty invested in the saxophone but then I started hating it lol

Nationality: Australian

Favourite songs: way too many, but also at the same time none

Are you named after anyone? I have the same name as my grandmother but I’m not actually named after her lol

When was the last time you cried? I shed a lil tear watching Queer Eye today, but properly? idk

Do you have kids? nah

Do you use sarcasm a lot? less than I used to but a bit, yeah? Depends who I’m talking to lmao

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Oooohhh I mean, probably their general demeanor? Or their smile if ya cheesy

What’s your eye color? Green? Blue? Some weird shade in between?

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings all the way

Any special talents? Uhhh I’d say writing but idk, recent events, it’s complicated (talk to my therapist lol)

Where were you born? Melbourne, Aus

What are your hobbies? Writing, art, netball, walking the dog (does that count?)

Do you have any pets? Big ole dopey yellow lab boi called Sandy

What sports do you play/have you played? I’ve been playing Netball for like 10 years now, coaching for the past 6ish months, used to be into gymnastics as a kid, high-key wish I didn’t give it up

Favorite subject in school? English, duh (at uni tho Second Language Acquisition)

Sexual Orientation: Bi af

Favorite fruit: Oranges I guess

Favorite plant: Rosemary, sunflowers, Australian Wattle, daffodils, literally any plant

Favorite color: Yellow!

Tea, Coffee, or Hot Chocolate: All of the above, but probs tea

This or that:

Tagged by @iron-spiderr and @tomsfireheart

musicals or plays (can I please say both? PLEASE???)

lemonade or iced tea

strawberriesor raspberries

winter or summer

pandas or koalas

beaches or forests

planets or constellations

pastels or neons

diners or cafes

unicorns or dragons

gemstones or crystals

hummingbirds or owls

fireworks or sparklers

sunflowers or hydrangeas

brunch or happy hour

sweet or sour

romeor amsterdam

classic or modern art (uugh again, both?? I just like art)

sushi or ramen

sun or moon

polka dots or stripes

macarons or croissants

glitter or matte

degas or seurat

aquariums or planetariums

road trip or camping trip

coloring books or watercolors

fairy lights or candles

honey & lemon or milk & sugar

Spell your URL in song titles: (metal eddition!)

Tagged by @spideykisses

I - I Won’t Break - Escape The Fate

T - The Flood - Escape The Fate

S - Situations - Escape The Fate

H - Hologram - Crown the Empire

O - One For The Money - Escape The Fate

L - Let Me Be - Escape The Fate (this is actually a really sweet song)

Y - You Want A Battle? (Here’s A War) - Bullet For My Valientine

H - Hell Above - Pierce The Veil

O - Oceandust - Hands Like Houses (also a really chill song but still)

L - Lead Me Out Of The Dark - Crown The Empire (this one’s real sad wow)

L - Love Me Like You Used To - You Me At Six

A - Aftermath - Crown The Empire

N - Naivety - A Day To Remember

D - Desire - Escape The Fate

I swear I listen to more than 3 bands omg

#about me #thanks for the tags guys #i do appreciate #i just take forever

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