#kiwi doesn't actually mind shaving he just forgot to do it while monster was gone aslkdmf

[enby-jetstar]

shameless capri sun squad req: cupie kiwimonster, kiwi's beard gets outta control and monster refuses to give him ANY smooches until he shaves !!!

u know i can't resist the siren call of queerplatonic shenanigans 👀

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Kiwi’s climbing down from his art loft, an old metal bucket full of chalk in one hand, when he sees Monster come inside. 

Grinning, Kiwi sets the bucket on the floor with a clang and hurries toward her. “Monster!” he exclaims. He hasn’t seen her in a few days, since she’d gone off to a nearby stronghold to pick up some supplies. “Hey, how was your trip?” 

Monster grins back at him, showing off that chipped tooth of hers that Kiwi loves so much. “Pretty fuckin’ good,” she says, opening her arms for a hug. Kiwi throws himself into the embrace, wrapping his own arms around her and squeezing her tight. They’re rarely apart from each other for more than a few days at a time, so being away from his cupie for days has been torture. “Got that generator we needed,” she continues, “an’ found a fuckton of old fabric scraps, Fruitsy oughta find somethin’ to do with ‘em.”

“Didja have fun?” Kiwi asks, giving her one more, extra-tight squeeze before releasing her to straighten up. “And where’s my ‘hello-I-missed-you-so-much’ kiss?”

Monster laughs. “I had fun,” she says. “Woulda been better with you an’ the others there, though.” She leans forward to press her lips against his cheek, but stops before she actually gets there.

Kiwi waits patiently, but instead of giving him a big ol’ smooch on the cheek, she pulls back, her face contorted with disgust. “Ugh,” she huffs. “I leave for, like, three days, and ya don’t even bother to take care’a yer basic goddamn hygiene in that time?”

Kiwi purses his lips at her. “I showered the day before you left,” he says. He lifts one arm and takes a deep sniff of his armpit. “I don’t even smell as bad as usual!”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout your odor,” Monster says, scowl deepening. “I’m talkin’ ‘bout your scruff!” She points dramatically at his face.

Kiwi lifts his hand to his face and runs his fingers over his cheek. And, yeah, okay: he’s scraggier than usual. But so what? Shaving in the desert is hard when you don’t have a lot of water or much shaving cream! So maybe he’s been slacking, especially without Monster here to make him shave.

“It’s not that bad,” he says, rubbing his hand over his face. “Feels kinda nice, actually.” A thought strikes him, and he grins mischievously as her. “Hell, maybe I’ll grow it into a full beard, y’know?”

Monster’s expression shifts into one of horror, and then she socks him hard in the shoulder. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” she says. “I’d never kiss ya again.”

He just keeps smiling at her. “You’d have to eventually,” he says, leaning closer. “Ya know y'can’t resist your cupie for long!”

Monster grunts at him, shoving at his chest. “I can resist ya as long as I need to,” she says. “Y’know what? Yeah. I’m not gonna kiss ya at all ‘til ya shave that scruff off!”

Kiwi waggles his eyebrows at her. She glares at him. 

He leans in closer. She turns her head away, looking pointedly away from him.

Seeing his chance, Kiwi grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her in close, rubbing his scraggly cheeks all over her face.

Monster squeals and punches at him, and though she’s clearly trying not to show it, Kiwi can feel her suppressed laughter. He rubs his cheek against hers one last time and then releases her, grinning.

She socks him in the arm again, and, okay, ow. That one really hurt. Okay, yeah, he deserves that.

Kiwi laughs. “Is it really that bad?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says. “Feels nasty! All scratchy an'...ugh!”

“Okay, okay,” he says, still grinning. “I’ll shave it off. Promise you’ll gimme that ‘hello-I-missed-you-so-much’ kiss after?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says dismissively, but she’s smiling too, her posture relaxed. “If it means so much to ya.”

“It really does,” he says.

💖

Fifteen minutes later, Kiwi stands before his cupie, “freshly shaven an’ ready for smoochin’,” as he tells her.

Monster rolls her eyes, a fond expression on her face. “C’mere, then,” she says.

Kiwi steps forward, and Monster leans in and plants a loud, smacking kiss on his cheek. “Missed ya, Kiwi,” she murmurs.

“Missed you too, Monster,” he says, and gives her a kiss on the cheek in return.

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send me a danger days prompt! :)

#danger days #killjoys #ttlotfk #answers #funkobraofficial #Too Much Hairy = Bad #Just A Little Hairy = Good #kiwi doesn't actually mind shaving he just forgot to do it while monster was gone aslkdmf #fic #fanfic #capri sun squad #kiwi blast #monster alarm #mine #my zucchini