#king is a gud boi and i luv him ;w;

[juju-on-that-yeet]

It Takes a Village, Chapter 11/12

Yandere wanders away from his babysitter for the day after a squirrel, leading him to who else but King of the Squirrels.

This is probably exactly what you expect XD

Tags: @tired-eldritchhorror​ @peribloke​ (ask to be tagged!)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Read on AO3!

Enjoy!

~

After the disaster that happened last time Wilford babysat Yandere, he’s surprised he’s allowed to watch him again at all. But today is lucky–for himself, that is, but unlucky for Dark (working), Chrome (charging) and Dr. Iplier (performing surgery on Bim, who managed to fall off the catwalk and wreck his leg). None of them can spare an eye to watch over Yandere today, so Dr. Iplier and Dark reluctantly entrusted Yandere to Wilford, but not without threatening him with a fate worse than death if he screwed up again.

Not that that means much to Wilford. Dropping an ice cream cone is a fate worse than death in Wilford’s book. At least if he dies he’ll come back; that ice cream is gone forever. But he figures he ought to listen and do better this time, if for no one but Yandere at least.

Wilford, though, hadn’t realized that babies were so slippery. He looks away for one moment (alright, maybe two, or several, or a couple minutes), and when he looks back, Yandere is gone.

“Bullocks,” he mutters, “Where’d you go, you slimy rascal?”

Yandere, already down the hall, is too far away to hear him. But even if he wasn’t, he probably wouldn’t answer anyway. He’s too busy crawling, chasing something.

A squirrel is scurrying up ahead of him, stopping every so often to adjust the acorn in its mouth, or take a nibble of it, or scratch an itch. Really, the stopping seems superfluous; anyone watching would say that the squirrel is only doing it to bait Yandere, who continues to chase the tiny beast with the unshakable determination that only babies seem to have. Yandere doesn’t think about any of that, only of catching the squirrel to pet its fluffy tail, which curls into an inviting question mark every time it sits. Several times, Yandere gets close, only for the squirrel to bound a few more feet away. When Yandere follows, the cycle repeats. Everyone must be busy today, because no one is in the hall to see Yandere’s pursuit of the squirrel.

Eventually, Yandere makes it down one of the stairwells, following the squirrel into the second floor. The squirrel seems much closer now; every time it trots away, it seems to shorten the distance between stops or let Yandere get closer to touching it. Yandere, though quite frustrated by now, is also desperately excited and eager to finally pet the elusive creature. It’s stopped again now, sitting there cleaning itself, pulling that pretty tail through its mouth to clean. Yandere’s so close now, so close to being able to put his hands in all that fluff, just a little further–

The squirrel suddenly leaps away just as Yandere’s hand it about to touch its back, but instead of going forward, it goes up, up someone’s leg, over their back, settling on their shoulders. Yandere had been so focused on the squirrel that he hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t the only person in the hall. The other person is concentrating, too, on the dozen or so squirrels crowded around, and on speaking to yet another person in front of him. The squirrel on his shoulder chitters in his ear, and the person turns.

“Agnes, what–” King of the Squirrels says as he turns to face Yandere. He blinks down at him. Yandere blinks back. “Um, hello.” Yandere reaches up towards the squirrel, Agnes.

“Wanna pet!” Yandere cries, making grabby hands.

“Is that Yandereplier?” asks the other person, Ed Edgar. His hat, full of tiny holes, is in his hand instead of on his head. “The heck’s he doin’ here??”

“I think Agnes lured him here, the little devil,” King muses as he kneels down to Yandere, shooting Agnes a look. Agnes doesn’t seem sorry.

“Well, I already got in trouble for tryna take care of him once,” Ed huffs, “I ain’t doin’ it again.” He looks around at the other squirrels in annoyance. “This ain’t over, ya varmints.”

“Hey, don’t call them that!” King yells, but Ed is already leaving. He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Don’t mind him; he’s just grumpy,” he tells the squirrels, before looking back to Yandere.

“Pet!” Yandere shouts, reaching for Agnes with renewed vigor. Agnes remains seated on King’s shoulder, unruffled. The other squirrels begin to crowd around the scene, chirping to each other, but Yandere doesn’t seem to notice.

“No, Yandere, you can’t pet Agnes,” King says, “She doesn’t like to be pet, she just likes to cause trouble.”

“No pet?” Yandere asks, suddenly subdued. He lowers his arms and his excited smile fades.

“No pet,” King says.

Yandere’s lip wobbles and his eyes fill with tears in the same moment King realizes he should not have said that, or at least said it a bit nicer.

“Oh no, don’t cry!” King exclaims. He reaches out to pick Yandere up. His hands hover for a moment, unsure of how to go about this. It can’t be too hard to hold a baby, can it? He already knows how to handle baby squirrels. He picks up Yandere as he starts to cry in earnest, moving from kneeling to sitting and putting Yandere in his lap. Yandere sobs, crushed that he doesn’t get to pet the squirrel after all that effort. Agnes leaves King’s shoulder, still unapologetic.

“Wanna pet!” Yandere bawls.

“Shh,” King says, partly because he feels bad and doesn’t want Yandere to be upset, and partly because he doesn’t want to know what will happen if Dark finds out he made Yandere cry. He pets Yandere’s hair, just barely stopping himself from scratching it like he does to his squirrels, stroking it slowly instead.

Yandere is squirmy and unhappy in King’s lap until he realizes that he’s being watched by a dozen pairs of beady eyes. He still cries, but he lets King hold him and stroke his hair as he watches the squirrels stare at him, twitching their noses as they sniff the hair, some daring to step a little closer. King notices them, too, and thinks for a moment before speaking.

“You can’t pet Agnes,” King says, “But maybe you can pet a different squirrel!”

“Pet?” Yandere sniffles.

“Sure,” King says, wiping away a tear from Yandere’s cheek. He looks at the group that’s surrounded them. “Let’s see…Silas is old and grumpy, Homer’s nails are too long and he might scratch, Blanche is normally sweet but she’s been moody lately…Oh, I know!” He points out one of the braver squirrels, closer to the front of the pack. “This is Everett, he’s really sweet. You wanna pet Everett?”

Yandere nods, tears quickly drying as he makes grabby hands for Everett, who tilts his head and chitters.

“Hold on, now, I’m gonna hold him and you pet,” King says. He reaches out a hand to Everett, who jumps on immediately, tiny claws hooking into King’s sleeve. King brings Everett to Yandere, holding up his other hand before Yandere can grab the squirrel. Yandere whines and pouts.

“Hey, don’t cry again,” King says, “You have to promise to be gentle, okay? No squeezing or grabbing or slapping. Just nice gentle pets like this.” He strokes Everett’s back the same way he stroked Yandere’s hair earlier, long and slow (he figures Yandere doesn’t have the motor control for a scratch behind the ears). “Can you do that?”

Yandere nods, more vigorously this time, finally smiling again. He reaches out and puts a tiny hand on Everett’s back. He squeals as Everett reacts, readjusting himself under Yandere’s hand. Yandere moves his hand slowly down Everett’s back as King instructed, but can’t resist going past his back and running a hand through his tail. Everett bears it with as much dignity as a squirrel can have (which is a lot, in King’s opinion). He sits mostly still, tilting his head and sniffing at Yandere as the baby pets him. Eventually, he becomes brave enough to step forward in King’s hand and lean into Yandere’s face, sniffing his nose. Yandere laughs and tries to kiss Everett’s nose, but he moves back before he can. Yandere isn’t upset, though, he just giggles as he keeps petting Everett.

King, though ever vigilant in watching Yandere’s hand in Everett’s fur, can’t help but smile along. He and Yandere aren’t normally close; honestly, King is normally a little scared of him. Then again, he’s never known Yandere to be aggressive to his squirrels, which is more than he can say about some of the other egos. Despite Ed’s earlier annoyance (justified, if King is being honest, considering the state of Ed’s hat), he and Silver are the only egos who are not only nice to the squirrels, but actively seek not to harm them. Even the nicer egos in the building have shut a door on a fluffy tail or stepped on a paw once or twice. King’s squirrels are not shy about letting him know who’s hurt them, and King struggles to remember the last time that person was Yandere. Further, the squirrels sometimes report that Yandere has smiled at them as he walked by or cooed at them like one would a pet dog or cat.

Granted, Yandere is moody and prone to violence, not to mention in love with Dark, who would sooner toss every squirrel into a meat grinder than have one in his presence. The squirrels generally seem to be aware of this and give Yandere and his room a wide berth, which might be the only reason that King has never had a problem before. Or maybe Yandere has a soft spot for animals? Pets aren’t allowed in the building; King’s squirrels are the closest any of them will get to living with one. It wouldn’t surprise him if Yandere wanted a pet but wasn’t allowed one, and if he uses his infrequent encounters with King’s squirrels as a substitute. King has to wonder if Yandere’s current fascination with the squirrels isn’t already present in his normal form.

Suddenly, another squirrel (Marjorie) jumps from the floor onto Yandere’s shoulder. Yandere jumps but laughs brightly when he turns his head to see Marjorie’s tiny black eyes staring back. Other squirrels climb onto King’s legs around Yandere, and King realizes that all the surrounding squirrels have moved much closer over the past few minutes, encircling King and Yandere to look on with interest.

“I think they like you,” King says to Yandere.

“Me too!” Yandere exclaims.

King almost laughs, but he knows what Yandere means. The baby is clearly having the time of his life sitting in King’s lap and petting a squirrel.

“You know, it’s funny,” King says, “It seems like a lot of the fans think we’re friends. I guess they consider us both as younger egos, for some reason. But we’re getting along now, so I suppose they have a point.”

King’s never been able to wrap his head around that one. Well, that’s not entirely true; the goofy attitude he displays in his videos is probably why the fans think of him that way. And sure, King is goofy, and maybe a little childish at times, more idealistic than the other egos, even. But he’s still one of the oldest egos, beat out only by Dark and Wilford. He’s seen their group wax and wane, seen more egos appear and disappear. He remembers what it was like before they had this building, when it was half a dozen of them spread around Los Angeles, living their own lives but generally being worse off for it. King doesn’t regret living in trees like he did in those days, but he’s rather glad he has a bed to sleep in now. Yandere had it hard before he came to the building, too, King knows. He hadn’t gotten to meet Yandere until he was already healed from his brush with death, but he’d been told of his arrival, and of the fact that he might never get to meet him at all. Maybe there’s a bit of kinship between them there, in how it took them both some time and some struggle to get to a safe place.

“This is nice,” King says, “I wonder if you’ll remember this when you go back to normal.”

King sort of hopes he does.

After several minutes of petting Everett and rubbing his cheek against the squirrels that hop onto his shoulder, Yandere seems to tire out. He yawns, taking his hand away from Everett to rub his eyes. Everett, who got bored of the petting a while ago, takes the opportunity to leave. Yandere is too tired to notice, sleepily curling up in King’s lap.

“Hey, wait, you can’t sleep here!” King cries, “Why are you so tired, anyway? You didn’t do anything!”

Yandere doesn’t answer. He’s already asleep.

King sighs. That’s right, babies need naps. Yandere must have been overdue for one. King wonders who’s supposed to be watching him right now, who’s supposed to put him to bed. But it’s a moot point now that Yandere is sleeping in King’s lap. He’s sucking his thumb in his sleep, and King has to admit it’s a cute image. Not as cute as his squirrels, but close.

King decides that Yandere can’t just sleep on the floor (and King would rather not sit here for however long Yandere’s nap will be) so he starts to get up, mindful of the squirrels surrounding him. As soon as they realize he’s getting up, though, they move away, jumping off his legs and giving him space to stand without stepping on them. King gives them a grateful smile as he carefully gets up, cradling Yandere in his arms. He’s not sure he’s holding him right, but Yandere continues sleeping, and King doesn’t feel like he’s about to drop him, so that must count for something.

He carries Yandere to his bedroom, not really sure where else to put him. Can he sleep in a regular bed? He normally has a crib to sleep in, right? King supposes he’ll just have to keep an eye on him. He lays Yandere on top of the bed, not trusting himself to pull the covers back and hold Yandere at the same time. When he turns to pick Yandere up again he does a double take.

Apparently part of King’s cape was a little too close to Yandere, because the baby has some of it in his hands, bunched in his tiny fists like a security blanket. It’s very cute, but King’s cape is important; he can’t just let any old person play with it.

“Yandere,” King says, stern but quiet, “Please release my cape.”

No response.

“Yandere,” King tries again, tugging it a little, “Let go. That’s mine.”

This time, Yandere pulls back twice as hard and rolls over, pulling more of the cape over himself and wrapping himself up like a burrito. He whines softly but stays asleep.

King sighs. There’s no slack left in his cape; if Yandere pulls it again he’ll pull King with him. Unless King keeps still and doesn’t let him, but that might wake him up. King’s cape is important, but he’s not exactly keen on upsetting Yandere and potentially incurring Dark’s wrath. And, okay, Yandere’s pretty adorable, and King would feel bad if he woke up and ruined his fun.

King sighs again, not so put upon this time, and unfastens his cape from his neck. He lays it over Yandere like a blanket, and Yandere makes a quiet, appreciative noise at the feel of it over him. King smooths it out–can’t let his royal cape get all wrinkled, after all–and lets Yandere sleep while he leaves the bed to apply some peanut butter to his cheeks.

It’s not long after that someone knocks on King’s bedroom door, and King wonders if it’s someone looking for Yandere. When he opens the door, he sees he’s right, as Wilford stands before him.

“Hello, Wilford,” King says, neutral but wary. He’s too trigger-happy for King’s liking, and his squirrels seem to agree, finding places in his room to hide or scampering past Wilford into the hall if they’re particularly brave. Wilford ignores them all, though, as he addresses King.

“Hiya, King!” Wilford replies brightly. “I came to ask if you’d seen Yandere anywhere. The little scamp wandered off and I can’t seem to find him!” He doesn’t sound that worried, or sorry about it, King can’t help but notice.

“Actually, he’s here with me,” King says. He leads Wilford to his bed, explaining as he goes. “He followed one of my squirrels here so I let him pet one for a while, and then he fell asleep.”

When they reach the bed, though, King is rendered speechless. Yandere is still asleep, still wrapped up in King’s cape, but he has company now. A few squirrels sit around him, curled up and resting with him. Everett is there, too, curled up on top of Yandere’s chest. King smiles, warmth filling his chest.

“Is that your cape?” Wilford chuckles, ruining the moment.

“He grabbed it in his sleep,” King mutters, cheeks turning pink.

Wilford laughs entirely too loud, but fortunately Yandere only stirs a little and continues to sleep on. He then scoops Yandere up, cape and all, not minding the squirrels. Each one bounds away in a flash, chittering indignantly. Yandere sleeps through it all, mumbling unintelligibly and curling into Wilford’s chest.

“Well, I’ll be off!” Wilford says brightly. “Oh, and uh, don’t let Doc or Darky know about this, alright?” He winks.

“Hold on a minute, that’s my–” Wilford poofs away before King can finish. “–cape…”

A squirrel, Agnes, crawls up King’s pant leg and perches on his shoulder. King turns to look at her.

“What are the odds I’m getting that back anytime soon?”

Agnes chitters.

“Yeah, I thought so.” A pause. “This is your fault, you know.”

Agnes squeaks, offended, but King isn’t truly that bothered. He finds it hard to be annoyed about his missing cape when he remembers how cute Yandere looked all wrapped up in it, surrounded by his subjects.

It turns out that he’s right not to worry; his cape is returned a few hours later by a flustered Dr. Iplier, grumbling about how irresponsible Wilford is and how hard is it to watch a baby, really?

#yandereplier #king of the squirrels #wilford warfstache #markiplier #markiplier fanfiction #kristin says stuff #my writing #it takes a village #king is a gud boi and i luv him ;w;