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rosepetalmark · 3 years

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it was good until it wasn’t

↬ pairing: kim doyoung x reader ↬word count: 3k ↬ genre: angst, mentions of fluff ↬warnings: mentions of sex, it’s pretty sad (you may shed a tear or two i’m v sorry) ↬ synopsis: breakups suck, especially when you’re still in-love and don’t understand where you both went wrong.

he makes it look so easy.

ignoring your texts, coming home late, barely saying a word to you when you’re together. you can’t hate him for it though, you’re the exact same.

you wonder why he doesn’t break up with you already. your relationship was basically hopeless at this point and you both know it isn’t going anywhere- it hasn’t been going anywhere for months now.

it pains you seeing him not stare at you lovingly anymore. you grew so fond of the idea of spending hours on the phone talking about the dumbest things, staying up late watching reruns of your favourite shows, even making him do face masks with you when you wanted to do self care days. you knew he loved it of course, but he always played it off as something he detested because seeing you pout over his lack of interest in a sheet mask always made him love you ten times more.

you haven’t felt his touch in two months. it was like you were living with a ghost, the feeling of his presence ever so prominent, but the actual feeling and embracement of him completely diminished. every morning he’d wake you up by kissing both your cheeks, quiet laughter humming from his chest as he admired your sleepy presence in his quest to get you to start your day.

now you wake up to the sound of him sighing as he leaves your shared bed, his empty presence filling the quiet room, causing you to feel lonely.

never in the several years of knowing doyoung did you ever imagine that his presence would become something that no longer brought you happiness.

you’ve both drifted, but you’re still together- too stubborn to admit to yourselves and each other that this relationship has run its course, forming a cohabitation with one another rather than maintaining a loving, healthy relationship.

it’s complicated, you like to believe. trying to puzzle together when everything went wrong. but you can’t because all you remember is that one day you were both madly in love with one another and the next you acted as if you were strangers.

deep down you’re scared. you’ve spent so many years and time and effort in your relationship with doyoung that you don’t truly know what life outside of him is like.

you may not have long talks anymore or stay up late watching movies or even have sex- damn you missed the days where you both would divulge in sex multiple times a week, but gosh did you find solace in his presence.

when he’s not there in bed beside you when you wake up each morning you feel empty, like a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your body and hidden halfway across the world for you to find.

he’s all you’ve touched and laughed and connected with in years and to have that ripped away from you is beyond frightening.

he’s all you know.

you yearn for the days when you were fresh in love and could never keep your hands off each other, wanting to be in each other’s presence 24/7. sadly the days of two twenty years olds having quickies in the backseat of a car and drunkenly singing karaoke at three in the morning on friday nights at the local bar were long gone. you’re not two college kids in love anymore, just two completely different adults who fell out of it.

it hurts reminiscing about the way his hands would find your waist and how his chin dipped into your neck when he found you speaking with your friends at parties; the way he would sing to you when you had trouble falling asleep, bringing you to his piano to play you whatever melody he created earlier in the day just to bring you comfort, even if it meant he was losing sleep in the process.

you especially miss his attempts at making you iced coffee in the morning. it was such a mundane act, but no matter how hard he tried and how closely he followed the instructions you gave him (not as if making iced coffee was hard anyways), he’d always make it too bitter. but you still drank it anyway, because you loved doyoung with every fibre in your being, and anything he did for you made you appreciate and fall in love with him even more. everything he did for you showed how deeply he loved and cared for you.

now you don’t get any of it. no obnoxious flirting when out in public. no beautiful nights falling asleep to his soft, angelic voice, wrapped up warmly in his tender arms. and especially no bitter, watered down iced coffee.

you’re lucky enough if he holds your hand when out in public with friends, not wanting anyone to clue in on the lack of intimacy and love that ceases to exist between the two of you.

you used to be that annoying couple who couldn’t get enough of one another, always finding ways to be in each other’s presence whenever you went out together, wanting to show the world that you were his and he was yours. now you can barely look each other in the eyes for more than five minutes without an unnecessary argument beginning to brew.

you wish you could have that all back. the routine. the peace. the love you both shared. you’re just two adults who can’t even be mature enough to break off a six year relationship because you’re both too comfortable with the thought of one another; too scared to leave what you’ve built as a couple to realize that this once great love affair has turned into something so sad and toxic, pulling you back from what you both deserve in life.

your friends have been telling you to sit down and speak to him about your feelings, his urging you both to call it quits for months now, claiming you’re making your friendship dynamic awkward, and in the end only harming yourselves. but they don’t understand what it’s like to have something so beautiful ripped from your hands without a warning, because that’s what this all felt like. as if someone swooped in and stole your bond with doyoung, when in actuality it was just the two of you growing apart-one thing you never thought would ever occur.

those four dry months eventually turned into a fifth, and that’s when you knew you had to pull the plug. you couldn’t keep living like this- wasting your life and heart and energy on a relationship that ended so long ago. it was draining the life out of you both and it was painfully evident in your faces.

the days of crying over him have long passed, making it much easier to process that you won’t ever be with him again, mentally checking out after the first two months this distance became a regular occurrence. that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt ending a love that once was your everything.

you remember so clearly the day doyoung asked you out. it was a monday after a lecture you both shared, the both of you walking alongside campus, too invested in your conversations with one another to say goodbye. you both knew you had feelings for one another, every interaction between the two of you held an abundance of smiles and rosy red cheeks.

he bit the bullet and asked if you wanted to grab dinner some time, just the two of you and away from your chaotic friend group, wanting it to be an actual date and not a group outing.

that was six years ago, and the butterflies you felt in your stomach the moment he said he wanted to date you still linger when you think back to such heartfelt innocence.

when you finally decided enough was enough and the words eventually left your mouth, he wasn’t even upset. he showed no sign of emotion, a stoic expression stuck on his tender face, only a nod of agreement following your difficult confession.

he knew he didn’t have to say anything and you didn’t expect him to. there was no fighting for something that didn’t exist anymore. doyoung may have been your boyfriend by title, but these last few months he was just doyoung. not your lover. not your best friend. just doyoung.

a stranger you know who’s smile and laugh and kisses you’ll forever have ingrained in your brain, but have not come into pure contact with for an unreasonable amount of time.

and you can’t even hate him for this breakup because he hasn’t done anything wrong. you simply grew apart, and you hate how you drug it out for so long where it got to the point where you can’t even look him into the eyes without feeling some sort of pain and resentment. the only thing you wish you could go back and change was to talk about it, because who knows, the both of you could have either resolved whatever underlying issues you had, or you would’ve been broken up by now- not stranded and confused as to where your life and relationship is going.

you never pictured you’d end up like this, assuming by the time you were in your late twenties you’d be engaged, with a dog, constantly looking at homes online for you and doyoung to one day grow your future family in. you so desperately wanted to be his forever, the one he turned to for everything. the father of your children, the greatest love of your life the entire world had to offer.

that was all in the past now.

the entire “official” breakup didn’t even hit you until doyoung was moving his stuff out of your shared apartment, little pieces of him vanishing as each minute passed.

the picture of your two year anniversary is no longer on display in the living room, the frame facing the table to signal that the once happy couple in that old photograph are no longer together and madly in love.

the pastel flower magnets doyoung loved to collect and place on the fridge ceased to exist, leaving your kitchen slightly less colourful and fun as they were tossed away in one of the many random boxes he got from the hardware store earlier.

even the ugly rustic coffee table you hated but he adored- something that totally clashed with the aesthetic of the apartment but reminded doyoung of his childhood, all removed from your shared space and never to be seen in your presence again. you begged doyoung for a new one years ago but he always managed to convince you it had charm, always flashing you a wide grin in his process to win your heart over. you never thought the day would come where you’d miss seeing it in your living room.

everything was so clean and spacious. everything was gone.

it was weird seeing your once cluttered home look so different. yet despite all the space, every single memory and experience you shared with doyoung was ever present in your mind, overwhelming you all at once as no future memories between the two of you will be made.

it felt like just yesterday you both signed the lease, accidentally spilling red wine on the brand new white rug doyoung bought an hour after you got the keys, knowing you were eyeing it for months online, refusing to buy it until you officially had a place together. you were both so excited to start your lives here. to be young and to evolve and to explore your relationship in a manner more romantic and mature than you had the last few years.

all his instruments and songbooks that were once scattered in the corner of your living room are gone, packed in their cases and in doyoung’s car, awaiting their new home once he takes his remaining items and leaves.

it hurts the most when thinking about the bedroom. you haven’t slept there since he started packing his things four days ago, not wanting to get emotional over half the room and its belongings disappearing with what felt like a snap of the fingers.

but you had to make your way in there now, because all you could hear coming from the thin white wall down the hallway were soft, hiccupped sobs- such emotion you weren’t familiar with in months.

part of you wants to let him be and pretend like you hear nothing just so he can gather his thoughts and belongings and be on his way.

but you can’t. because despite how much you tell yourself that this is for the best and you’re past everything, you’re not. there’s a huge part of you that still cares so deeply for doyoung and you wouldn’t ever wish pain on him.

quietly walking into your bedroom towards your once shared bed, you sit beside him. grabbing his hand, you can feel the warmth radiating from his body, reminding you of the days you’d go on long walks, him never letting go of you because he never wanted to break physical contact.

“hi.” you whisper, not entirely sure how to spark a conversation with him. you haven’t been this vulnerable with him in what feels like forever, the last time you saw him cry was over two years ago when your relationship was seemingly at its best. he hasn’t been this upset was when he thought he lost taeyong’s dog, but it turned out that it was yuta’s day to watch him while he went to work.

“hey.” he says, his voice raspy and shaky due to the tears, his face red with anxiety.

“so we’re really doing this, huh?” you ask, your voice beginning to shake as well. seeing doyoung cry always breaks your heart, and the fact that he’s doing so after you both ended things makes you want to crawl in a hole and never leave.

this was hitting you too hard. so much harder than you could’ve ever imagined. you thought that because you both just fell apart and seemed unbothered by such a drastic change in your lives and relationship that he’d pack his things and you’d both be on with your lives. but now that you’re both separating from one another for good when all you’ve known was each other for years, it’s soul crushing.

doyoung is here in your once shared bedroom holding your hand and crying with you because you both failed to make your relationship work despite having such strong feelings for one another.

you love this man so much, yet you know there’s nothing you can do to bring you both back to the state you were once in. you’re different people now, and you can’t mold back into the two young, horny, and madly in love college sophomores anymore thinking you’re going to be together forever.

“god i hate this!” he yells in between sobs, his face getting more and more red as the tears stream down his face. and you hate this too, because you didn’t think this whole process would cause each of you to bawl your eyes out because you don’t want to leave a love and comfort you’ve both outgrown.

you wiped his tears with your fingers, caressing his cheeks to reassure him that none of this is his fault. you needed to be strong for him and yourself, because unfortunately this is life and even the shittiest things happen to good people.

falling out of love unfortunately falls into that category.

he places a kiss on your forehead and wraps his arms tightly around your frame as a final goodbye, embracing all of you within these last few moments as a reminder of how much love and respect he has for you.

“so this is it.” he whispers softly, slowly getting up from the bed and untangling himself from his previous hold on you, acting as if his emotional outburst didn’t even happen, composing himself to make this already hard process the slightest bit easier.

matching his actions, you get up as well and follow him out of the bedroom, glancing back at your half empty room and feeling your heart shatter.

no more stealing his sweaters when you’re cold and want to be comfy. no more late nights of talking or making love. no more doyoung.

“this is it.” you whisper back, not having much to say, the tightness in your chest growing further as you continue to relish in such heartbreak together. you were each other’s first serious loves, and not having that constant in your lives will be such a heart wrenching adjustment.

“i love you, doyoung.” you say, needing to remind him that there will always be a part of him in your heart and that you’re sorry things ended this way.

“i know, love. i’ll always love you. i’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“i’d like that.” you nod, the emotions filling up your chest, suddenly making it hard to breathe knowing this is all happening now. “be safe getting to your apartment.”

“always.” he winked, tears evident in his eyes as he began to turn his body away from yours and towards the final box beside the front door, turning the knob and leaving for good- gone from the love and home you’ve both invested so much time and warmth into.

you’ve spent so much of your life with this man, planned so much and anticipated such a beautiful future just for it to end and for you both not to know how to fix the broken pieces you left each other in.

maybe someday in the future you and doyoung will get back together and plan that beautiful wedding and have those three beautiful kids in a big house with a pool and a baby french bulldog.

but as for now you are letting go.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 scenarios #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct smut #kim doyung #nct #nct 127 #nct angst #kim doyoung scenarios

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doyoung-kim · 3 years

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doyoung : ‘gimme gimme’ mv behind

#nctinc #nct #nct 127 #doyung #kim doyoung #*mine #hey dude is it really that serious

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eldic12 · 2 years

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TREASURE Performances That Showcase Their Colorful Live Vocals

I miss #TREASURE performing but with the current situation with the members I want them to prioritize their health first. They did give us fans a lot of contents and performances to ride out the long wait. So thankful we have these stages and more.

#GetWellSoonTREASURE

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#ASAHI #BANG YEDAM #CHOI HYUNSUK #DOYUNG #HARUTO #JIHOON #KIM JUNKYU #MASHIHO #PARK JEONG WOO #SO JUNG HWAN #TREASURE #YOON JAE HYUK #YOSHI #트레저

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neokimlight · 3 years

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okay so we have the Kim's for tingle interview BYE

#doyoung #nct #kim doyoung #jungwoo #nct jungwoo #doyung nct #tingle interview #Sabujak #kim bros #nct kim line #they look like cupcakes i can't

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jaehyunspeachparty · 4 years

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In Seoul - [part 1] Doyoung’s POV

"Wow Doyoung. Why so chic today? Are you up to something?" Johnny grinned while pouring Jaehyun coffee in his cup. Doyoung straightened his shirt and went to the kitchen counter. "No, I only help Y/N with her move in her apartment." Of course, he was also nervous to see you again. He had had feelings for you since the tour in America. For a while, he was really depressed that he couldn't see you. But when you told him that you were moving to Seoul, he was really happy and excited. "Y/N is here?" Jaehyun looked at Doyoung in surprise, wondering why he didn't know. But somehow he was happy that you preferred him before Jaehyun. "Yes, for a week. Her boss opened a sister company here and her job is to look after it. Didn't you know that?" Doyoung tried to stop his spitefulness, but he was sure it would get through. "Of course, it seemed that I have forgotten it." Jaehyun took a long sip of his coffee and turned away. Doyoung grinned but tried to hide his joy again. There was an uncomfortable silence that caused Johnny to leave the room with his eyebrows raised. And Jaehyun was unsure whether he should stay here as well, but then you knock on the door. "Hey Y/N! I thought I should come down." Doyoung didn't really want you to get into the dorm, because after all, he was still unsure about your feelings about Jaehyun. "Yes, I know, but I wanted to ask if you have a drill, or a hammer, or maybe a whole big toolbox with all of them. I have nothing." You smile uncertainly and step into the anteroom. "Yes wait. I'll be back in two seconds." Doyoung started to search for it immediately. He didn't want to waste time and didn't want to leave you alone with Jaehyun for too long. When he came back, of course, Jaehyun was already in front of you. Doyoung realized that you don't look happy. When he came to you, you immediately turn to him and smile. "Can we go?" You take another look at Jaehyun and you get out of the dorm, followed by Doyoung.

You don't say a word about Jaehyun all the time and also during the construction in your new apartment, but Doyoung still wanted to know what was between you two. He was jealous of him, he openly admitted that. After all, it was always easy for Jaehyun. He was the handsome, charismatic and mysterious guy. Everyone was crazy about him. He hated to be in his shadow. Maybe the only thing he was better at was singing, but Jaehyun was about to get better at it as well. "Come on, I pay for a pizza." You smile because you wanted to thank him for helping you build all your furniture. "I would say that’s fair." Doyoung laughed and sat on your desk chair. You order a pizza for you two and then you clear a few things out of the box. "The apartment is really tiny." Doyoung sat on your bed and looked around. "The only thing my boss pays me. It was the deal that I help build the company here. But the apartments here are damn expensive and the 32m2 apartment must be enough. But it is bright and has large windows." You smile and he agreed. The apartment had high walls that were clad with windows. It is elongated, starting with a hallway where you had two wardrobes and the kitchen, next to it the bathroom and it ends in a larger room with a bed right by the window, next to it your desk and a small counter where you had all your coffee things. "Also, I don't think I can find a boyfriend here. That means the apartment is enough for me alone." You laugh, but Doyoung looked at you in surprise. What do you mean by that? "Why do you think that? You look good, you will certainly have many admirers here." He laughed uncertainly and he was nervous to compliment you. There were so many thoughts in his head. He just doesn’t know how to exist in front of you. "Guys like that just want to fuck you. I have a strict no-fuckboy regulation." You laugh and stop for a moment, but then you keep clearing the boxes. "And what about Jaehyun? He seems interested in you." Now it was time, he wanted to know everything. He wanted to know how you feel about Jaehyun and what was there between you. "Jaehyun has a girlfriend." It was the only thing you said and it seemed to him that the subject made you angry. And somehow, he didn't dare to ask you any further. Still, it wasn't a satisfactory answer you gave him. It was uncomfortably quiet for a while. Doyoung didn't know how to react because you seem nervous. He regretted mentioning Jaehyun even if he didn't know what was between you, but he saw that you were hurt. "Hey, sorry that I mentioned it. I thought there was something between you two. You spend a lot of time together for a while." He couldn't let the topic go completely and he tried to be a little smart. You stop with what you did and run your hand through your hair and sigh. "I find it very difficult to talk to you about him because you are in a band together and friends. But I can only say that it hurts now less to talk about him and I hope that I don’t have to deal with him much here." You look at him seriously and Doyoung nodded. He could see that you were broken and he was angry with Jaehyun. He didn't know if the answer was good or bad, but he was sure that he wanted to be there for you and wanted to fill that gap in you. The rest of the evening you don't talk about him anymore. And Doyoung felt that you were getting closer that day, and if the moment came when you forgot Jaehyun, he would be here for you.

The next day, Doyoung had training in the SM building. He practiced with the choreographer when Jaehyun came in with a few others. "Good job Doyoung, will we make the same time tomorrow?" The choreographer took his water bottle and Doyung nodded. He also took a bottle and took a long sip. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jaehyun approaching him. "What do you want?" Doyoung hissed as he stood in front of him. He couldn't deny that he hasn't been able to stand Jaehyun lately. "What's your problem Doyoung?" Jaehyun crossed his arms and looked at his colleague in surprise. "You really ask that? I think you know." He could hardly suppress his anger. Jaehyun stood there and pretended innocent, but he was tired of him. "Is it about Y/N?" Jaehyun asked and Doyoung felt provoked by his look and manner. "You always do that!" Doyoung rolled his eyes and he noticed how angry he got. "What am I doing, Doyoung? Tell me what you want to tell me." Jaehyun’s voice grew louder and the first glances turned to you. "You want me to say it? Everyone loves you, you don't have to do anything and everyone wants everything from you. You have so many who worship you and then you break the heart of the only girl who is beautiful and smart and which I really like. I don't know what you did to her that she is so broken but it's typical for guys like you, you even have a girlfriend, I mean Jaehyun, what else do you want? Guys like you break girls like Y/N heart and guys like me always have to wait for people like her and you're probably going to fuck in the meantime someone else." Doyoung's chest rose in anger, he had wanted to get rid of it for so long. But Jaehyun couldn't believe what he was saying. "I’m pretty shocked that you think of me that way. The thing with Y/N is different than you think." But at that moment Suji, Jaehyun's actual girlfriend, came to the two. "What's going on here?" She looked between the two boys confused, but Doyoung was enough. "Just leave her alone." Doyoung had no more to say and turned his back on Jaehyun. "She? What does he mean by that?" He still heard Suji's voice, but that was the last thing Doyoung cared about.

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#jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun blurbs #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun imagines #doyoung #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #doyoung fluff #doyung kim #jung jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines

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haremuniversity · 3 years

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like or Reblog Thank You ✨

#kim doyoung #doyung #nct #happy doyoung day #nct 127

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baconnotbaekhyun · 4 years

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Taeyong & Doyoung >>>>>>>Tom &Jerry <<<<<<<<< back at it again 😂

#honestly these two remind me of me and my siblings soo much ahahba #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct taeyong #my gifs #nct doyung #nct gifs #doyoung #taeyong #kim doyoung #lee taeyong

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milkeyyjaes · 5 years

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OFF DAY PART 1 (DOYOUNG FIC)

Genre: fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 467

Notes: I took so long to write cause I got writer’s block and got tired,,this will be a series I hope.

Synopsis: Doyoung feels shy and insecure about his retainers but you reassure him that he is beautiful no matter what :)

NCT had finished all their activities for the year, they had 2 months till they had to prepare for the next comeback.This meant that I’d be seeing doyoung a lot which is a good thing as you could spend loads of time with him.I couldn’t even remember the last time I spent time with him.I was super excited to see him.I planned out things to do with him for 2 months. I couldn’t focus for the rest of the day because of this. Today doyoung wouldn’t be spending the night at the dorm.Instead he will be spending it at my home ^-^ .

“Doyoung i'm home” I shouted into the once cold apartment of mine however it had became a warm home as doyoung is back.I headed to the bedroom.As I laid my restless body into the bed ,I saw Doyoung entre the bedroom with his fluffy wet hair.

“Oh jagi, im sO happy that im able to spend time with you after such a long time.”Doyoung said as he hopped into the bed and wrapped his hands around my waist. I noticed that the had put on his retainers. I knew that the had taken his braces out thus he has to maintain them time to time.I started staring at his teeth, they looked sOOO cute on him.

“What is there something wrong?” Doyoung curiously asked as he tilted his head to the side and looked into my eyes. I chuckled and shook my head I then caressed the back of his head.

“No sweetheart, it nothing. I just that your retainers are so cute.” I said as I smiled widely. He then proceeds to hide his face into the mattress. He started to throw a little tantrum.

“Look doyoung, look at me, look into my eyes. I know that you're insecure about your retainers but you are beautiful no matter with or without it.” I tried to comfort him by patting his back as he stuffed his face into the mattress. He then slowly lifts his head from the mattress like a cat emerging from a stack of pillows. Ht then pouted and looked into me in the eyes.

“Do you really think so?” I smiled widely, he was so cute if only I could capture this moment. I then squished his cheeks.

“Of course my love.” gosh he is so cute as I thought to myself. He then hoped to my side so that my hands were around his neck and our faces were beside each other. We stayed like this for a while. As I melt away into his arms looking forward to the next day and the many days ahead of us.

“I love you” I whispered into his ears as I slowly fell asleep.

#doyoung fanfiction #doyoung fic #doyoungff #doyoung fluff #doyung fluff ff #doyoung nct ff #nct dyoung ff #kim doyoung ff #kim doyoung fanfic #kim doyoung fluff #nct doyung fluff

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lisori · 6 years

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like\reblog if you save or use💕

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ssin-ent · 4 years

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One night stand

Requested: Can i request a one night stand with doyoung? While s/o is in korea for a solo travel for the first time and chose korea bc she thinks it's the safest country to travel alone but then she visited a club and drank too much liquor only to wake up with kim doyoung right next to her?

[warnings:smut, fem reader, soft sex, dom doyoung, oral sex (female receiving)]

Doyoung is overing you his messy bed hair making him look adorable yet so hot.

“Wanna re act last night?” he says with a smirk and everything came back to your mind

Korea always has been your dream destination, this country always fascinated you, so after years of saving up you decided to take the a plane and spend a few weeks on your own and you’d never had imagined that one morningsyou’d wake up next to doyoung, a guy you met in a club and apparently ended up fucking with, not your dissapointment.

Doyung kissed your shoulder peperring kisses on the area, as he started to grind his clothed cock against you. You run your hands over his naked shoulders, your body relaxing in his touch as he lets out hums in your neck.

He moves downwards, going under the fovera to lift your shirt up to kiss and lick at your breast, nippin at your nipple and rolling the nub in his mouth , maining around it in a way that made your back arch.

Doyoung continued his path down your stomach, making sure to leave highkeys in the way before he took off your pants. You pulled the covers off his head, the coldness of the room hitting your bare legs, goosebumps appearing on your skin at the contrast with Doyoung’s warm hands caressing your skin.

Sweetly, he kissed the inside of your thighs, slowly getting you to lay your legs on his shoulders before he kissed your clit through your panties and finally taking your underwear off.

He moaned as he tasted you, giving your core a fat lick withhis tongue, the heat and wetness of the muscle made you moan and grip his hair as he delved his tongue into you.

He was slowly licking at your walls, while his fingers were playing with your clit, making you needy for more. He was doing it so softly as if you were about to break, sloppy and gentle moves of his tongue that had you wetter and wetter, alowing him to lick all of your essence up, enjoying it as much as you were.

Doyoung was moaning against you, holding your thighs spread out for him. One of his hand moved to your entrance, his slender fingers now moving in and out of you as he tongue was licking, and sucking your clit, making you moan out his name when he found your sweet spot, rubbing it faster and faster until you came all over his tongue.

He kissed your clit one last time before moving up your thighs, and your stomach , moving to over you and murmur:

“Good morning.”

#kpop #kpop smut #nct #nct smut #doyoung #doyoung smut #nct doyoung smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios

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wongpuppy · 5 years

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HISTORY, kim doyoung

↳ Rating full on angst

↳ Pairing fratboy!Doyoung x Y/N

↳ Word count 2.1k [ one-shot ]

↳ Summary ever since you and fratboy!Doyoung broke up, he hasn’t left his room and all he does anymore is study, so he doesn’t know what to do when he’s forced to attend a party and sees you perfectly happy

It’s been three months.

Doyoung swallows thickly, catching the date on his phone. ‘22nd of June, exactly three months since the break-’ Doyoung closes his eyes and forces himself to stop thinking about it. He knew it would only get worse, the more he thought about what happened. But he knew he deserved it.

He jumps at the sound of banging on his door, only just remembering that he was supposed to be studying for calculus.

“Doyoung, bro, today’s the day.” Taeyong makes his way in, chilling against Doyoung’s closet. “You have to come downstairs, man. The party’s too good and loads of people are asking about you. Please come and have some fun, we all miss hanging out with you.”

Doyoung pushes his glasses up, completely forgetting about the raging party downstairs. He knew he was being a huge bummer to anyone who was unfortunate enough to be around him lately. He just didn’t want speak to anyone, except when necessary.

And everyone used to know Doyoung as the outgoing type, confident and straightforward.

“Listen, come down for 10 minutes, see how you feel and if you want to go back up here, go for it. I’ll never ask you to come to a party again, okay?”

It was just 10 minutes. Not a lot could go bad in 10 minutes. Doyoung sighed. “Fine, Tyong. 10 minutes, no longer.”

Taeyong grins and claps a little. “Ah bro! I missed you! Now, as your frat president, do whatever you need to do to get ready. I’ll be outside your door. And if you take longer than 10 minutes to get ready, I’m dragging you out myself.”

➫➫➫

The whole downstairs was packed, heavy bass boomed from the speakers to the sweaty mess of university students. Deep down, Doyoung knew he missed this. He swallows another large swig of beer.

“Doyoung! Man, come over here!”

Scanning the mass of people, Doyoung finally saw a grinning Jaehyun and Johnny.

He walked across the living room and onto the patio that showcased a nice pool. Yeah, NCT was that bitch. He smiled when he reached them, lifting his solo cup towards them. “What’s up, guys? Party treating you well?”

Jaehyun nodded, smiling at Doyoung gently. “It’s really good to see you, D. I know its been hard- with the break up and all, but if you need anything-”

“Um, sorry but- isn’t that Y/N?”

While everyone else looked immediately to where Johnny motioned, Doyoung couldn’t. His eyes stuck on nothing in particular on the ground, he didn’t know what to do.

“I’m leaving you, Doyoung.”

“Th-This is a joke, right? Y/N, come back inside. Please baby, its cold-”

“I’m breaking up with you. I ordered you an Uber, he’ll be down in 5 minutes. Don’t pay me back.”

Your voice was fierce but you knew your eyes were glassy and red, so close to breaking down and crying. “This should’ve been done weeks ago, I don’t know how I fucking dealt with this for so long. You go, what was it? 2-3 weeks? Yeah, 3 weeks without talking to me or seeing me, then all of a sudden you come back to me and you’re very distant? I’m sorry, but what the fuck? Doyoung, I saw you on peoples snapchat and instagram stories, I-I knew you were somewhere fucking partying or some bullshit. I knew you were ignoring me, and you’ve never given me a reason and honestly, at this point, I don’t care. I don’t want one. I just don’t want to see you ever again.”

Doyoung swallowed thickly. This was real. This was actually happening. “Y/N, please. I know, I fucked up. O-Okay? I know. I never cheated on you... but, I go-got close, you know? Pl-Please don’t leave me, baby.”

You shook your head and Doyoung could’ve sworn the fire in your eyes was something he’s never seen before. “I stayed 5 weeks for you. Don’t tell me not to leave when you left me with fucking nothing. I deserve a lot better, Doyoung. You taught me that. The only thing you’ve given me for 5 weeks is pain and unhappiness. And I am done with that. I am done with you, Doyoung.”

“D? You okay?”

Ignoring Jaehyun’s words, Doyoung grinds his teeth before forcing his eyes up from the ground and onto you. He knew it was a bad idea once he felt his heart pang and his eyes falter.

You were at the corner of the pool, surrounded by people Doyoung knew to be your best friends. But it wasn’t the people or your bathing suit that caught his attention, it was how happy you looked. You were practically glowing, the smile on your face brighter than life and a loud booming laughter came out from you and hit Doyoung like a gunshot. Another shot came when Doyoung realized that he hasn’t seen you this happy in a long, long time.

“She looks so happy.” Doyoung wanted to laugh at the irony, how good and carefree you looked compared to the painful throbbing he felt in his chest since the day you left him. “I made her so sad, you know?”

He didn’t even know who he was talking to, both Jaehyun and Johnny sharing nervous looks at how distant and small Doyoung looked right there. His shoulders were pulled together, skin pale and tight. Johnny rests a supportive hand on the sad boys shoulder. All the boys knew about the breakup and why it happened. They all knew Doyoung messed up but he was their brother, and they would always be on his side.

“She was happy with you too, D. You made her happy.”

Doyoung sighs, risking another look at you. He sighs again, this time almost dreamily when he catches you animatedly talking about something. The way your eyes shined and your sentences held no breaks, Doyoung could only guess you were talking about ice cream or puppies. Before he could look away though, your eyes met his and you almost immediately stopped talking.

“Fuck.” Doyoung cursed, unable to look away from the flicker of pain that ran across your eyes. He felt his lungs squeeze. Jaehyun and Johnny turn to see you say something to your friends before getting up and out of the pool, taking a shirt one of your friends held out for you.

“Hey guys.”

Doyoung’s throat goes dry at the sound of your voice, his favorite sound, something he’s been deprived of for 3 months too long. Jaehyun greets you first, followed by Johnny’s friendly small talk. You talk to them for a bit before catching Doyung’s eyes again.

“Can I talk to Doyoung... alone?”

The boys get the message and leave after patting the sad boys shoulders with mutterings of good luck. Doyoung still can’t manage to talk, especially now that the two of you are alone. “Doyoung... how have you been?”

He swallows thickly, the dryness of his throat making it feel as though he was swallowing cotton not saliva. “The truth?”

Your eyes flicker up and down his appearance, chest feeling heavy when you notice that he definitely lost weight and definitely lost the color to his skin. You frown a little. “Yeah, the truth.”

“I’m not good, Y/N. I haven’t been for a while.”

There’s silence between the two of you, the sound of the heavy bass and loud conversations not reaching the bubble the two of you found yourselves into. It was the first time the two of you talked since the breakup, and it isn’t before you sigh and take a hold of his hand that Doyoung finally hears everything happening around him. He wants to sarcastically laugh again, knowing everyone around them was having the time of their lives and his was falling apart. “Is there some place quiet we can talk?”

Without a word, Doyoung leads the two of you through the mass of people and through the hallway before reaching his room. You sigh at the familiarity of it all, the dark blue of his bed sheets to the overall neatness of everything. His room was always pristine and clean, always as perfect as he was.

“Did you move on from us? From me?”

You stiffened at the question, not expecting it so soon. Your back was towards Doyoung, observing and taking in the small details of his room. You catch onto the fact that the plush Jigglypuff you got him still sat proudly on his bed. “There’s no us anymore, Doyoung.” At the corner of your eyes, you see Doyoung’s head fall and you bite the inside of your cheek. “I don’t know if I’ve moved on, really.”

Doyoung scoffs. “How don’t you know something like that? You look perfectly happy.”

You turn around with a frown. “Do you not know how hard this is for me? How often I cry about it? I know I broke up with you, but you left me long before I broke up with y-“ You stopped when you noticed the corner of Doyoung’s mouth twitch, an easy indicator that he was close to tears. You sit on his bed with a sigh, patting the place next to you.

“Look, D, we all mess up. We just have to accept it and move on. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I left you alone. I was the worst boyfriend to you, I don’t even know how you’re talking to me right now. I hurt you so bad...”

You just shrug, careful to keep a distance between the two of you. “You were also one of the best boyfriends I had at some point, D. I know you well enough to know the only thing you’re doing is distracting yourself with uni, so please Doyoung, for me, don’t be so hard on yourself and take care of yourself. Always put your health first.”

Doyoung wanted to cry, scream, break down, everything. He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve any of your kindness yet here you were. He felt his eyes swell. “Why are you being so nice to me, Y/N?”

“I loved you, Doyoung. Seeing you like this hurts me.”

When Doyoung saw the care and warmth in your eyes, he broke. He knew he fucked up big time losing a jewel like you. Even after all the pain he caused you, you still cared about him. Tears sprung from his eyes and his shoulders shook from the intensity of the pain he felt in his chest. His face fell onto the palms of his hands and his back curved in, making him seem a lot smaller beside you.

Your whole body ached seeing him so full of pain, you wanted to hold him, to rub his back and mutter how everything would be okay but you knew that was not your place anymore. So you placed a gentle hand on his knee, squeezing it.

“I forgive you, Doyoung. There’s no reason to keep blaming yourself. I am happy now, and you should be too.”

There’s another string of silence that comes between you, the only noise coming from Doyoung’s soft hiccups and occasional gasps. 10 minutes later and Doyoung looks up with you, eyes red and puffy.

“You don’t have to say anything b-but, I will never stop loving you. I know I fucked up, but I will never ever not love you, Y/N.”

You feel your body tense at the truth and strength behind his words, his promise from when you were dating still fresh in his mind. He promised you two years ago that he would never stop loving you, and even after you shattered his world, you still had a place in his heart.

You stand up, feeling this conversation start to curve slightly beyond friendly boundaries. You knew this conversation had to end there.

“Promise me you’ll look after yourself, Doyoung. That’s all I want.”

Doyoung’s eyes shone when he looked at your figure opening the door, ready to leave his life for the second time. He felt his throat tighten when your eyes met his again. He knew you were stubborn and would never go back on your words or actions, so he knew you would never go back to him. He had the whole world in his hands and he completely dropped it for parties and attention from strangers.

He nods, eyes still focused on you and the idea that this very well might be the last conversation he’d ever have with you. He wanted to memorize everything before you left, the beauty marks on your face to the caramel of your skin. He wanted to keep this image of you in his brain, not the one of you 3 months ago with tears streaming down your face and a crumbling look in your eyes. Doyoung’s gaze fleets across the softness and care in your features to the healthy glow of your skin.

He wanted so badly to reach out and feel the warmth that illuminated from your skin, Doyoung would have given everything in that moment to embrace you one last time. He would’ve given everything in that moment to hear you say that you love him. He squeezes his eyes shut at the thought. He knew that was something he would never hear from you again.

You look at his drawn in figure and feel the familiar burn behind your eyes. “I’m sorry, Doyoung. You had a life before me and you will continue to have one even without me. Take care of yourself.”

Doyoung’s eyes raise just when you give him one last look and close the door, he continues to stare at the door, feeling a tear fall from his eyes. He hears the loud music and everything going downstairs. He hears his heart beating so slowly he thought it could stop at any point.

He could only laugh at the irony, the irony that stuck in his head all night. People downstairs were having the time of their life and Doyoung could only think about how it was the second time he felt like his heart was ripped apart.

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bisoroblog · 6 years

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Transforming Physicists, Engineers into Teachers at New MIT Program

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Doyung Lee is a living rebuke to the old maxim that those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach.

Lee, who is 24, has a bachelor’s degree in engineering that led him to become a programmer, a profession with high pay and good prospects. But he said he was “pretty miserable in that job. You don’t interact with people. You develop web apps you never see people use, and that weren’t meaningful to me.”

So he’s joined a pioneering program based at MIT to take people like him, with experience in high-demand fields such as engineering, physics, math, languages, biology and neuroscience, and transform them into teachers.

The idea upends the disparaging assessment, attributed to George Bernard Shaw, that teachers are people who have no other useful skills. And by putting other talents first, it’s also a closely watched reversal of the conventional approach to training them.

“We don’t have to focus on math, because they’re already good at math,” said Yoon Jeon Kim, a research scientist in MIT’s Teaching Systems Lab who is monitoring the effort to see how well it works. “We don’t have to focus on science, because they’re already good at science. So we can concentrate on how to teach.”

This experiment, just getting under way, is called the Woodrow Wilson Academy of Teaching and Learning, named for the foundation that is underwriting it.

‘We don’t have to focus on math, because they’re already good at math. We don’t have to focus on science, because they’re already good at science. So we can concentrate on how to teach.’Yoon Jeon Kim, MIT Teaching Systems Lab

In the face of a nationwide teacher shortage, especially in science, technology, engineering and math, the academy is not the first program that has sought to attract experts in these areas to teaching, but it offers a significant departure from traditional teacher training programs in several other high-tech ways. In addition to the familiar student teaching routine, for instance, it uses virtual reality avatars to simulate classroom situations and crises.

One of the more radical departures is its rejection of a fixed course schedule, organized by credit hours or semesters; students advance as soon as they can demonstrate they’ve mastered the material. This gives them experience with a process, known as competency-based learning, that a growing number of primary and secondary schools where they’ll eventually teach are beginning to adopt. The International Association for K-12 Online Learning urged in December that competency-based learning be expanded.

And Lee and the other students in the inaugural class, which started in the fall, are not only learning how to become teachers; they’re also helping to design the program before more candidates show up, using input about successful training techniques from medical schools and even military academies and the U.S. Army War College.

“We’ve thrown out tradition and rebuilt this thing,” said Arthur Levine, the academy’s founding president and former head of one of the preeminent traditional schools of education, Columbia University’s Teachers College. (The Hechinger Report, which produced this story, is housed at Teachers College and is supported by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and the Carnegie Corporation of New York, which are also among the academy’s funders.)

“We’re taking the innovations people have been talking about and actually trying them,” said Levine, who has authored 12 books, including a series of reports on teacher preparation. Everything that succeeds, he said, will be offered to other teacher training programs.

“A lot of people are watching this,” said Rodrick Lucero, vice president of the American Association of Colleges for Teacher Education. “There is a lot of pressure on this program. We’ll see if it works in the small scale and then if it would work at a much bigger institution, where there are thousands of teacher candidates” and not just the 10 hand-picked “design fellows” enrolled so far. Their ranks will grow to 25 next fall.

With the cachet of MIT behind it, the project passed one major milestone unusually quickly, winning formal approval from the state of Massachusetts in the fall to award master’s degrees in education.

But there remain substantial hurdles, not the least of which is getting highly skilled professionals with in-demand degrees to go into a line of work that typically offers much less money and prestige.

“Why would people in these high-paying fields want to be teachers? The reality is a lot of them always wanted to be teachers, but people told them, ‘Why would you want to do that?’ Our job is to find those people,” Levine said.

Programmers, for example, earn nearly 40 percent more than high school teachers, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And it isn’t only the salary that makes it tough to recruit prospective teachers: In recent years, a drumbeat of criticism from politicians and others has battered teacher morale and fueled turnover. Fewer than half of teachers said they were “very satisfied” with their jobs, a survey found, and 29 percent said they were likely to quit.

“Why should you become a teacher if you can code and make so much more?” said Yoon.

And yet, she said, people with backgrounds in technology are particularly suited to teaching, drawn as they are to problems and how to solve them.

Alexandra Trunnell, who at 20 has already earned degrees in physics and astronomy and is also enrolled at the academy, sees that firsthand, she said, in her student teaching.

“When students ask me about things like black holes or distance over time, I can take what I’ve learned and bring it back to the classroom,” she said.

What these first students in the new academy share in common, Yoon said, is that “they want to change the world through education. And they think this is how they can do it. This is a perfect fit for them. It doesn’t mean that teaching will be any easier for them than it is for other teachers.”

The academy used social media to recruit its first class. It asked the presidents of top colleges and universities for nominees. It advertised on the Boston public transit system.

In addition to free tuition and a $20,000-a-year stipend, what it offered its prospective students was “the chance to invent the future,” Levine said. “This is the kind of place that when you see the job description you either say, ‘That’s crazy’ or, ‘That’s the perfect thing for me.’ ”

Breauna Campbell, 25, who has a bachelor’s degree in engineering with a concentration in chemical engineering, left a job testing pharmaceutical equipment to sign on.

“I felt like I wasn’t using all the educational opportunities I’d been given, to help the next generation,” said Campbell, who is from Indiana. “I’m not normally a risk-taker, so this is way out of my element. But the goals were in line with my thinking, realizing that how we’re educating students isn’t working.”

It’s the idea of inventing the future, Levine said, that conventional schools of education have been slow to envision or embrace. So the academy teamed up with MIT, which doesn’t have a school of education.

“We didn’t want to change an education school,” Levine said. “We wanted to invent one. It’s just very hard to move these things into established organizations. We needed to create the model, which is what we hope we’re doing here.”

What MIT gets out of this is the chance to try out theories developed in its Teaching Systems Lab and other departments that study teaching and learning and ways they can benefit from new technologies.

“There are so many thinkers and engineers and scientists here who are interested in education in general and really want to impact K-12 education,” Yoon said. “We have all these interesting ideas that have already been incubated within MIT that we want to test.”

In its small space on the first floor of a renovated old brick office building a few blocks from the MIT campus, the academy so far consists primarily of an open common area the size of a classroom where students sit at high counters and work on laptops and tablets.

Classes are provided both online and in person, supervised by a small faculty the academy calls “mentors.” Students are assessed through both conventional means and in new ways developed by these faculty and by scientists at MIT — in those virtual simulations, for example, and on video game-type tests.

All of these approaches are still being fine-tuned by the members of the inaugural class, who hang out in the common area when they’re not student teaching at a partner public school. On a whiteboard, color-coded sticky notes propose to answer the question: “What is an ideal teacher?” The answers include, “Passion for teaching,” “Efficient at explaining things,” “Efficient with time.”

Time is one of the things this program considers radically differently. Rather than requiring that students sit through a comprehensive list of required courses of a given length in a particular order, it lets them move on once they’ve demonstrated that they know a subject.

“If on Day One you’ve shown us you have all those competencies in the first 12 minutes, then just solve the problems and move on,” Levine said.

“We’re throwing out the clock, we’re throwing out credit hours, we’re throwing out seat time,” he said, listing the customary measures used in higher education. “All we care about is outcomes: What do you know?”

Ultimately, the academy leaders stress, candidates will be judged the old-fashioned way: by being made to prove, in a real-world classroom, that they’ve learned their stuff. Student teaching remains a central part of the curriculum.

But students also interact with those virtual reality avatars, which simulate difficult situations they may not encounter in their training, such as belligerent parents or young people who suffer crises of confidence.

“You might be in a school for an entire year and never see a student have a meltdown. We’ll make sure you do,” Levine said.

Voiced by actors, the avatars may appear cartoonish, but the simulations are detailed down to the background noise of people passing in the corridor. After a while, Campbell said, “You’re really in it.”

The biggest innovation of the program, however, is giving credit to these prospective teachers for their pre-existing knowledge and skills — especially in math and science disciplines that are so much in demand — Lucero said.

“It seems to make sense that competency-based education is a good fit for people who have been professionals in their field,” he said.

Still, Lucero said, there may be risks in separately considering all of the expertise required in a classroom, rather than combining the various parts into a collective whole.

“It’s not about just being good at one skill but being good at all the skills you need when you walk in the door,” he said. “The danger is this may be a very simplistic way at looking at a complicated thing, and that is pedagogy. Whatever we do, we want to make sure we’re doing it in front of real kids in a real school in front of a master teacher.”

If the ideas do work, said Levine, he hopes that other schools of education will adopt them.

“We don’t want this to be regarded as another competitor. We want it to be considered as a resource,” he said. “They don’t have to take the whole thing. They can adapt the challenges. They can adapt the simulations.”

What Lee has learned so far, in his student teaching, is “how not much has changed since I went to high school,” in spite of hurtling advances in technology. When he first went into a school as a student teacher, “I was, like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ ”

The academy, he said, can change things much more quickly than conventional schools of education.

“We’re preparing teachers to help build what schools can actually become,” Lee said.

Trunnell thinks so too.

“We can fix a lot of other problems in education,” she said, “if we treat teachers as the superstars that they are. Because they are.”

This story was produced by The Hechinger Report, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up here for our newsletter.

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perfectzablog · 6 years