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00127am · 3 months

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@ adroitbeloved kim doyoung & gn! reader about mundane love, strangers to the loose term of lovers, snippets of initial meetings and budding affection, crush at first sight, lower-case intended word count 1.4k

💿 now playing ... dancing in the rain meaningful stone

the first time you ever saw kim doyoung, it was raining.

and perhaps that's why you love the rain. because you saw him. black hair matted and suit jacket catching on the cusp of his nape. the same jacket that was soaked with rainwater, tugging strong shoulders to the ground with every shift in his stature. black dress shoes swamped with water, matching the lens of his glasses--smothered in kisses of droplets, clinging to the glass as they watched him during their dutiful descent. and much like those raindrops, you stared. until your hair was sticking to your lashes and your clothing made an uncomfortable squelch each time you moved.

and then you joined him underneath that arching bus turn out. a companionship met in silence and the ever so slight widening of his eyes as he encapsulated your drenched disposition. a silence only to be consumed by the pitter patter of rain and the passage of passing cars. one only to be broken as you reached your hand out from underneath the overhang and onto the oncoming onslaught of outpouring.

despite being already soaked to your core and despite any prior memory of being caught in the rain, you left your hand there for a few moments. lips caught in a grin, beads of water spinning pirouettes across your outstretched fingernails. in this moment, this partial prominence placed in the latter half of a minute, you began to hope that in your next life, you too would be reborn as rain. so perhaps, you too would also hold the pleasure of consuming each and every detail of kim doyoung.

a thought met with extension of your throat, leaning forward and dipping your head into the shower. hair upon forehead and lashes upon cheeks, corner of your mouth curved into the beginnings of a childish grin. and despite any preconception of politeness, kim doyoung laughed.

a sound nearly drowned out by the rhythmic drum of the rain and a sound to be revisited by you and you alone, until it was all but washed away with the end of the rainy season. you're not sure if he was laughing at the sheer absurdity and nonsensical nature of your actions or something utterly unrelated but it doesn't really matter.

you just really hope that you're reborn as rain. it's only fair, right?

the fourth time you saw kim doyoung, you had one hand clutching onto the grab rails on the bus. the same bus where you met at the turn out, a bus that you both take to and fro work. a bus you have come to appreciate (when it's on time) for giving you the opportunity to run into the black haired office worker not once, not twice, but four times.

it's rush hour. five or six at dusk, with a packed bus and the quiet conversations of co-workers. a bus that slices through the summer heat with a squeal of the breaks and an easygoing push on the pedals. it's crowded, shoulder to shoulder and chest to chest. and you've somehow found yourself pressed up against your new found crush, bowing your head with a sheepish turn of your eyes as you steady yourself on the balls of your feet.

suffocated by humidity and the nauseating stop and go of the bus, you find solace in nothing but the beat of your music. a steady pulse that panders through your ears and lands on the tip of your tongue, mouthing every syllable and every word. pretty lips poised in perfect pronunciation as you bob your head back and forth.

it's only during the bridge that you catch his eyes on you through the reflection of the glass door, a translucent depiction wavered by every bump in the road. his features are soft, lips quirked into a tender smile and eyes pulled into amused crescents as he watches you. the same eyes that dart away when they meet yours, blinking down at his hands as he looks absolutely anywhere but your returned gaze.

it isn't until six blinks later and a nervous gulp from both parties (to be frank, you can't be sure if it came from you or him) that the awkward tension is broken. parted easily with a quiet input, one that could not be mistaken for any such speech from yourself. a series of words, drawn out in a low, hushed intonation that made your face feel hot and your stomach drop.

bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and cheeks dusted a prepossessing pink. a pink that most certainly became your favorite color. each sonant emphasized with the flick of his tongue and the fidget of his fingers, rolling over each knuckle in a hesitant habit.

"i really like that song,"

you're not sure that those would be considered the most romantic first set of words spoken in any such universe. but in this one, one which you find yourself insensibly smitten, they prove to rival any such harked verses taken from romeo and juliet.

the sixteenth time you saw kim doyoung, you finally earned his name. stolen from the minuscule text of his ID badge. a lanyard that hung precariously around his neck, laying against his chest in the manner of a second tie. tight around his collar and loose upon the buttons of his dress shirt. a consummately composed photograph lying in the middle, depicting the stranger in all his handsome splendor. one that you find doesn't come close to rivaling the real thing. you're not sure that any camera could properly capture him after all.

you're leaning over your feet to get a better look at it, hair hanging in front of your face and eyes drawn in a concentrated squint. there's nothing subtle about it. certainly not with the way your pursing your lips, beginning consonants sitting on the tip of your tongue. or perhaps with the way you're tracing the characters on your thigh, each stroke undertaken in a clumsy authenticity. as if the movement is foreign yet softhearted.

he observes you, lost in your own world, with a similar gentleness. one curated with the unbalanced sway of your stature and the unconscious push of your tongue against the inside of your cheek. one that begins and ends with an unwilling and unrelenting affection. an endearment that only solidifies as you nearly fall flat on your face.

but you don't. catching yourself with flailing arms and the repetitive click click click of your dress shoes. and then you straighten up, clearing your throat and avoiding his stare (one that seems to bore a hole straight into the side of your skull). and despite the embarrassing nature of your near accident and the heat creeping up the nape of your neck, the only thing you can focus on is his name.

kim doyoung. it suits him.

the thirtieth time you saw kim doyoung, it was raining.

for the never ending rainy season seems to have set upon you, dosing every being and every thing in a dampened haze. including him, a similar reflection to your first meeting, though this time significantly less soaked. you, however, were preforming a perfected rendition--having forgotten your umbrella and once again finding yourself distracted by the beautiful stranger. thus forth leading to the only conclusion which you seemed to be able to muster, one which involved you being wet from head to toe.

and so, you trecked over to the turn-out, meeting him with the squeak and squelch of your coat and slacks. a noise only accompanied by a hint of entertained laughter coming from his direction, one quickly stifled by an all but obvious faux cough and interrupted by an amused huff from yourself. and then a familiar, but comfortable, silence. shortened only by the slush and slur of the bus wheels as it descends upon the curb.

despite the somewhat state of dryness on his part and the clear, slight resignation of being caught in the rain. it's your counterpart who, this time, outstretches his hand. slender fingers and delicate wrist outstretched beyond the overhang as he takes a single step out into the downpour. this hand, smothered in passive fondness from the oncoming droplets is gestured in your direction. tips of his fingers bent in a natural curve, eyes patient and expression painted with a nervous smile.

and when you take it, hand in lovable hand, you find yourself thanking your lucky stars that you were reincarnated as human this time around. though, you suppose it wouldn't be that bad to be born in your next life a droplet of rain. as long as you got to meet him thirty times over.

taglist. @evilsailorsenshi @firstdonutllamafarm @222brainrot @scinclaitnoir thank you for supporting me! ♡

🗯️ CRIED. i cried. oh, i like him so much! so, so much! oh to be a girl and meet a man like kim doyoung ... (ME WHEN) anyway! hope i did him justice for his birthday. i love writing every day type love (if it wasn't obvious) and i feel like doyoung just fits that trope so well. there's something about him that is so endearingly ordinary, i love him (and the rain) TT

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jaerontaemo · 6 months

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231026 — Taeyong tik_tyong update

Yuta-sang happy birthday !!!!!! 🤟🤟🤟🤟🙃

#nct 127 #nct #lee taeyong #taeyong #nct taeyong #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #doyoung #nct kim doyoung #jungwoo #jeong yuno #jeong yoonoh #jeong jaehyun #nct johnny #suh johnny #mark lee #Haechan #taeil #moon taeil

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nenarota · 1 year

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huellita de gatito ฅ ฅ 🍮 ა

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le-now · 2 months

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✉️ @miwayu

.·:*¨༺ 🍷 ༻¨*:·.

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j0nginxz · 4 months

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☆ ͡ . 𝖽𝗈𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀 : 𝗅𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗌𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗇𝗌

✶ don't repost my work or call it yours

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nettuni · 2 years

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u & me always 4ever

#doyoung #doyoung icons #kim doyoung #kim doyoung icons #nct doyoung #nct doyoung icons #nct kim doyoung #doyoung layouts #nct #nct icons #doyoung lq icons #nct messy moodboard #messy moodboard #kpop moodboard #blue moodboard #aesthetic moodboard #vintage moodboard

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for-d0oyoung · 2 months

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Doyoung instagram update 240218

밀라노에서 만나

See you in Milan

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nctzen #fanpage #nct doyoung #doyoung #nct kim doyoung #kim doyoung #nct updates #nct dojaejung #dojaejung

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riyva · 11 months

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finally with you. | k.dy

pairings. kim doyoung x fem!reader genre. fluff, romance, angst warnings. explicit content, minor dni, read at your own risk. a/n. this is the part two of almost had you. also, revised! hehe thank you! :)

You felt nauseous when you woke up today. You vomit again and again, which makes you weak. You intend to go to work, but your body won’t cooperate. “Geez, I need to rest.” You feel so terrible. You kept on wondering what did you eat last night. But a few minutes have passed, and you felt okay? So, you packed your things for a two-week vacation in Japan. Your flight is in 2 days.

You haven’t seen Doyoung in quite some time. From what you’ve heard, he seems fine, but something seems off. Despite his absence from social media, he will still answer your texts. You didn’t want to interrupt him since you needed some quiet time to recharge. You have to prioritize your own needs. You two have been inseparable ever since you two became best friends. You used to run to each other whenever you needed to talk or cry, but now is the time to be alone.

You stayed home all day and ate ice cream, pizza, chips, and donuts while watching your favorite movies. Thankfully, the rain outside served to quiet your racing thoughts. Laughs and cries filled the room, and different emotions while you were watching. You halted the instant you heard a knock on the door. You glanced at the clock, it was already 11 p.m., and you were not expecting someone. Who the hell will go to my house at eleven and raining? The moment you opened the door, you saw doyoung soaking wet. He was in pj’s with a jacket on. Doyoung’s unexpected visit didn’t take you aback. You asked no question as you took him in.

You sat on the solo sofa across from him while he was covered in a towel. “Doyoung, what’s up with you?” Curiosity keeps you going, but he glanced at you sleepily as his eyes wandered your sala. He noticed your bags and asked, “You’re leaving Korea?” You nodded. “Why?” He added. “I just want to spend time alone.”

Before Doyoung continued talking, you stood up to urge him to bathe. “Please use my bathroom and freshen up. You could catch a cold from that.” He didn’t say anything but nodded before going in like a lost puppy. “Go grab any oversized shirt and joggers in my closet!” You added as you went to the kitchen to make some chocolate milk. You’re wondering what happened. Did you guys break up? You thought. I hope not.

You sat on the countertop as he left your room wearing your clothes. You can’t help to laugh when he wears your hello kitty shirt and dark pink joggers. “I have some dark colors there, but why did you wear those?” You asked as he settled down next to you. “Because they’re cute?” he said, leaving you dumbfounded. You raised your eyebrow as you shook him, making him dizzy. “Ya! This is not the Doyoung that I know! Bring him back!” Laughter filled the room, and then suddenly, there was silence.

You took a sip before asking, “So, what happened? Hmm?” He shrugged. “Nothing.” You scoffed. “Ya, Kim Doyoung! Seriously? You’ll lie to me?” Doyoung sighed. “She cheated on me.” Your eyes widened in shock. “Dude, what the hell? That bitch!” You stood up. “Let’s go to her house. I’ll slap her.” Doyoung held your wrist, stopping you while shaking his head. “Nah, anj-a.” You silently sat back down, giving him a look.

You never thought that someone would do this to him. You examined his face; you didn’t see any mad or sad look at him. There’s something you can’t pinpoint. His girlfriend just cheated on him. Why doesn’t he act like he was hurt? Is he going crazy?

“Yes, I’m crazy over you.”

You awkwardly laugh. “HA-HA-HA! Nice joke, Kim Doyoung!” You suddenly felt nervous as you gripped your glass, and you could hear your heart beating so fast. You started to have hopes again that you know it isn’t normal. Is he joking? How the hell did he hear me?

“Because you’re speaking out loud.”

You looked at him worriedly. “Should I call 911 for you?”

“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” you added.

He glanced at you, and you met his gaze. He took a deep breath. “Look, Y/N. I’m okay,” he said.

“We split weeks ago, we’re just actually messing around.” They already broke up after you had a talk. “I-i tried to rid my affection for you with someone else, but it didn’t work out. It made me realize that my feelings for you weren’t gone. You always linger in my thoughts, driving me to insanity.” he held your cheeks, feeling your warmth.

Your mind was lost in the clouds. “W-what do you mean?”

He gazed directly into your eyes, brimming with sincerity, and spoke softly. “I love you, Y/N.”

Clearly, he wasn’t seeing anyone, so you do. Ever since that night happened, Doyoung never fails to make you smile every single day. He wants you to fall harder for him. He takes you on dates, late-night strolls, movie nights, and many more that will make you happy.

You both agreed that there would be physical contact (except holding hands) once you reached ten dates and had three left. You’ve also been tempted to say, “I love you too,” but you’ll say it at the right time, maybe after the ten dates.

You also find it so difficult not to kiss his plump lips. Oh god, I miss those lips.

A sudden knock on the door jolted you out of your reverie. You almost forgot that Doyoung is coming to your house. You took a few deep breaths before opening the door. “Hey, pretty boy!” he showed his pretty smile. Why so cute? You saw him with boxes of donuts and pizza, and you leaned on the doorframe. “Come in, doie!” you said with a warm smile.

As he went inside, you prepared the food he brought for your movie night. You also took the wine you bought last time in Italy. When you were halfway through the movie, there was a spicy scene making you bite your lips, and you felt his arms wrapped around yours. His throat tightened at the sudden scenario. You pulled away from his touch, making you sit beside him. “Wow, it’s getting hot! HA-HA right, Doie?” as you fan yourself with your hands. He just hummed as he drank the wine. He felt the tension too. It was hot, hot. You gulped as you looked at him and called out his name.

Without warning, you abruptly interrupted him and seized his neck, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. Your lips began to move while he was still in shock. You pulled away, “What are you doing? Aren’t you going to kiss me back or wh--” he locked his lips to yours. Your hand instinctively reached for his nape, pulling him closer as you sat on his lap. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he supported your bum. He barely squeezed it, making you flinch.

The embrace was imbued with deep affection and admiration, albeit slightly intense, yet it was a sensation that you found yourself drawn to. His tongue glided into your mouth, exploring every inch with an irresistible touch. Your tongues battled fiercely as your hands explored each other’s bodies. With effortless ease, he removed your top and unclasped your brassiere with a single hand, carelessly tossing it aside.

Fuck it. Fuck, the dates. You want him tonight. You missed this; you missed him. The sensation of his lips against yours is simply irresistible, leaving you yearning for more.

“Fucking hell.” A curse escaped his lips as he felt his manhood stiffen. He pulled away from you to remove his shirt, revealing his chiseled chest. He scooped you up into his arms and carried you toward the bedroom with one swift motion. As he made his way there, he couldn’t resist the temptation of your neck and began to suck and nip at it, sending shivers down your spine.

As he gently placed you on the bed, your lips intertwined in a passionate embrace, and tongues battled. You both removed your remaining clothes until nothing was left. When you’re both naked, his lips wander down your neck, eventually finding their way to the gentle curve of your breast. He palmed it and showered his attention on your hard and taunt nipples. Once he’s done, his lips go down to your mound. In between your thighs, his tongue and lips bathed in your wetness.

Your legs trembled as she reached her first orgasm. With an arched back and closed eyes, waves of pleasure washed over your body. And he didn’t stop yet, sliding his two digits while simultaneously continuing to suckle and lap at your clit. Your insides clenched again as a sign that you’re cumming again. He quickened the pace of his fingers, prompting you to grasp his head and draw him nearer to your cunt. As the waves of pleasure began to wash over you, you found yourself chanting his name like a sacred mantra.

“Doyoung..”

“Hmm.” he only answered with a moan while he was busy pleasuring you. You can almost see stars again. Your fingers instinctively reached for his head as your other hand tightly gripped the sheets. With a few more licks and thrusts of his fingers, you got the peak of your second orgasm. Your legs trembled as your body weight fell onto the mattress.

Doyoung took a few more licks as his lips met your lips. You welcomed his lips again, tasting yourself. He placed both hands on your sides, using them to lift himself. He desired to gaze upon your stunning face as he passionately loved you. He didn’t move yet; he wants to feel your warmth and looks at you like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Once more, he claimed your lips, the kiss tender and brimming with affection.

Your messy hair and pretty face were in his view. Seeing you like this makes his body burn even more. Your fingers entwined with his as he moved on top of you. It felt more intimate. He wanted to move faster and rough, but he wanted to savor this moment.

His thrusts were deliberate, slow, and deep, causing you to whimper in pleasure as the tip of his member brushed against your sweet spot. “Right there?” he asked breathlessly. You nodded as you slightly slapped his butt cheek, making him flinch. You chuckled when you saw his reaction. “Stop being so naughty.” He lowered his head towards your neck, planting gentle kisses and nibbles while occasionally applying slight pressure with his teeth.

He leaned back and firmly grasped your waist, causing your legs to spread even wider as he maintained a steady pace. You gave his arm a firm squeeze, urging him to go faster. Loud moans escaped your lips as he intensified his movements, thrusting faster and harder.

He was breathing deeply in your ear and whispered. “Let’s get married.” Doyoung’s heart raced as he awaited a response, wondering if you would say yes or no.

A chuckle escapes your lips. “Really? Are you proposing marriage while still inside me?” Your voice trembled in shock.

He slowly moved. “Why?” He kissed her forehead and nose, a familiar gesture to you both. He did not doubt that you would make an exceptional wife and mother. “Because I love you,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on yours. Finally, he leaned in and gently placed his lips upon yours once again.

You hummed. “Hmm.. Let’s not waste time, shall we?”

"And, I love you too my Doyoung."

Finally, I am with you. As fate would have it, our paths have crossed once again. There are no more what-ifs, no more holding back, and no more hide-and-seek.

BONUS PART :)

“Are we seriously in a relationship now? We’re official?” you asked as you traced your fingers on his naked chest. He hummed gently as he caress your hair. “We are.” he took your hand placing a kiss making you flush. You suddenly stood up naked when you went straight to your bathroom leaving Doyoung confused. You remembered the pregnancy test kit that you took yesterday morning, and you haven’t checked the result.

“Doyoung, sit down.”

He was in shock seeing the pregnancy test on your hand. “Do you have COVID-19?” you took the pillow and smashed it to his face making him laugh.

“You dimwit! I don’t!”

“I know! I was just kidding. So, what’s the result?”

“Let’s look at it together.”

It was positive.

©riyva

#riyva #nct 127 smut #nct 127 scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 x reader #nct doyoung smut #nct doyoung fluff #nct 127 #nct doyoung #nct kim doyoung #nct 127 imagines #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #nct 127 fanfic

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lidongyangsa · 6 months

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Wit woo Doyoung 🥵🤤

#nct 127 #nct #nct doyoung #doyoung #김동영 #kim doyoung #nct kim doyoung

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phoxphenex · 5 months

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doyoung when ur an idol texts?💖 you could also do 127 when ur an idol, it’s ur choice :)

doyoung x idol reader texts

#scenarios #nct social media au #nct #heart emoji #nct texts #nct 127 #nct 127 texts #nct doyoung #nct doyoung texts #doyoung #kim doyoung #nct kim doyoung #doyoung texts #idol reader

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macaroni-sly · 1 year

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Doyoung - NCT 127 '윤슬 (Gold Dust)' @NCT 127 2ND TOUR 'NEO CITY: SEOUL – THE LINK

#nctinc #doyoung #kim doyoung #nct 127 doyoung #nct 127 kim doyoung #nct doyoung #nct kim doyoung #nct 127 #nct #gif #doyoung gif #kim doyoung gif #nct doyoung gif #nct kim doyoung gif #nct 127 doyoung gif #nct 127 kim doyoung gif

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jaerontaemo · 8 months

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If anyone is interested in watching the NCT 127 The Lost Boys docuseries but can't afford disney+ or hulu, click the links below to watch the episodes free on bilibili.

Episode one

Episode two

(Episodes 3 and 4 come out September 6th, and I'll share them as well when the op posts).

Edit: bilibili took down the episodes, I'll check for alternatives!

#nct #nct 127 #taeyong #lee taeyong #lee mark #nct donghyuck #nct haechan #doyoung #nct kim doyoung #jungwoo #jaehyun #nct johnny #johnny seo #suh johnny #moon taeil #nakamoto yuta

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bbyyang0 · 1 year

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dojaejung wallpapers!!☆〜（ゝ。∂）

#wallpaper #nct jaehyun #nct dojaejung #nct doyoung #nct jungwoo #nct 127 #nctzen #nct imagines #nct #nct jung jaehyun #nct kim jungwoo #nct kim doyoung #nct u

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woozten-x · 2 years

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#. 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 | 𝐃𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

‹3 gif originally posted by dreamystuffers (URL not founded)

[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]

─ Synopsis: After breaking up with your boyfriend, you go to your best friend since childhood. Like always, he is there supporting you and guiding you along the path of healing. Upon your realization, he is always running away with you from anything that could possibly harm your happiness.

However, Kim Doyoung has been running for so long and he wishes to catch his breath to make a change.

─ Pairing: Kim Doyoung x Gender Neutral Reader

─ Genre: Fanfiction, Angst w. Comfort + Happy Ending, (Some) Fluffy Moments, (Some) Humor w. NCT 127 (mainly johnny, haechan, taeyong, and mark)

─ Disclaimer: I do not personally know Doyoung nor do I know anything about his personal (love) life! This is all fictional and has no relation with Doyoung of NCT whatsoever

─ Concepts: use/referral of they/them, Childhood Best Friend!Doyoung, University Student(s) AU, Roommate AU, doyoung being reader’s protector and support system <3, doyoung fr comfort boy, slowburn, mention of reader being in a toxic relationship (no specifications of toxic details), mentions/appearance(s) of other nct 127 members, doyoung and haechan bickering like usual </3

─ Count of Words: 7.3k

─ Inspiration of the work: Tonight + Falling by Harry Styles (Doyoung’s Cover is also great <3)

ෆ

When this first occurred, he knew this would be recurring.

Standing in front of his apartment door, face ridden of tears and skin flushed red followed with puffy eyes showcasing the shattered glee you’ve always held. At first, he wasn’t sure what had happened to his childhood best friend - what could have possibly led you back to him with sorrow expressing from your features? Every negative emotion known in his very own vocabulary decorated your pretty face that day.

The very same day where Kim Doyoung held resentment towards your boyfriend. Although your best friend rarely met him with awkwardness flooding the atmosphere with every encounter, Doyoung knew he wasn’t the right one for you. Of course, he said nothing of the sorts, holding no amount of common sense or any evidence to prove how his own intuition would be correct; sometimes, at this very moment, he wished he ripped you away from the grips of toxicity pinning you down in the relationship.

With every knock upon his door and expectantly seeing you visibly upset, Doyoung’s own emotions had become a turmoil also. The feelings for you from the many years of being in each other’s lives, he realized how he lost you during your serious yet unhealthy relationship you had - sometimes, Doyoung wished he had the courage to hold your hand and lead you away from the darkness mercilessly devouring your happiness. However, he had no idea what to do.

Fruitless attempts became helpless begging towards you, hoping for you to leave the relationship; trying his very best to convince you, as the very loss of this relationship would be nothing but a good change. Yet you stay in the very same position for months, tears streaming down your face with another tear within your heart, always returning back to Doyoung to find security and comfort. Sometimes, Doyoung wished he could get rid of this cycle, knowingly his own heart is aching for you.

Whether it be some sign of empathy or sympathy, Doyoung wished he could have gotten you first.

Supposedly, the events became a routine of counseling you and having you return back to the very same person who tore you apart; Doyoung had let his own rage blind him, growing to be exhausted from the many times of trying for you. Regardless of your miserable expression, he felt a chord of patience snap upon hearing - “I can’t leave him. I don’t know what to do without him.”

“What do you mean you can’t leave him or do anything about it?!” Trying to keep his composure, Doyoung swore the same excuse began to reach the hundreds. Standing before you whilst you sat on the couch of Doyoung’s apartment, your own best friend looked exasperated; his handsome face creasing deeply, you’ve never seen his gentle features contort in such a furious expression. In comparison to you, Doyoung has always been one to keep a level-head despite the involvement of emotions - he has been your rock since childhood.

Fingers ran through Doyoung’s strands of hair, stress put into that very action - “You say that every time after getting hurt over and over again. Every time I advise you with something, you always ignore it and only complain about the same thing over and over again!” Doyoung raises his voice, the words strung heavily in the air to only make your ears ring. At first, you felt betrayed; your own best friend was backstabbing you. Your fist clenches into a fist, the crumbled up tissue tightly held onto inside your hand.

“I never asked for your damn advice, Doyoung! If you are so sick and tired of me, why don’t you just leave me outside to rot!” You argue back, feeling the sense of entitlement to have your best friend on your side. Even so, you were deceived by many excuses to avoid the guilt you’ve felt deep down; knowingly, you are a burden crushing every bit of sanity that Doyoung had. You are selfish.

Doyoung shook his head, “Are you kidding me? I deal with your shit because you are my best friend, Y/N! You are someone who I care deeply for…But, why do I have to be used so you can go back to him every single time?!” he shouts back. Fuming with the pain since the very first day you did this to him, Doyoung sometimes wondered what is the meaning of you returning back to him in hopes of being comforted. You blink away the tears welling up in your stinging eyes once again, “What the hell am I supposed to do?! I have nowhere to go! Where would I be without him?!”

‘I am right here.’

‘I’ve been here since day one.’

Heavily Doyoung sighs, his own tensed shoulders sinking and he looks back at you with yearning in his gaze; the very same flames from before extinguished with defeat, as though your best friend had lost all ability to argue back. Suddenly, the strong wall of denial cracked before you. “Then what am I?” Doyoung questions, his voice lowered and threaded with the softest material - you felt horrible. Doyoung moved towards the armchair next to the couch of the living room, his body dropping down onto the cushion.

“I’ve been here for years, Y/N. What do you mean when you say you have nowhere to go?” He inquires once more, the guilt beginning to weigh inside you. You shouldn’t have gone to him for this long, this very outcome is bound to happen eventually; after all, your best friend is human. Staring back at him, you wipe away the tears and quietly apologize to him, scurrying away to grab your jacket and hastily put it on. Before stepping outside the apartment, you looked over your shoulder to see Doyoung watching you.

You force a smile at him, “I am so sorry, Doyoungie.”

The words lingering inside the apartment once you begin to leave, the door quietly shutting behind you and Doyoung sits with a tense silence. The nickname you’ve given him when first meeting as children caused his own heart to drop, his bottom lip quivering while he looked up at the ceiling; his back sinking back into the armchair, the bright light above becoming blurry with the tears welling up in his eyes.

To him, this shouldn’t have happened - regret floods his conscience, for a brief moment Doyoung felt like an idiot for trying to interfere with your love life. However, he knew his own feelings towards you are endless fuel being put into the fire; he loves you.

Sometimes, Doyoung wished this very same fire was there before you were taken away by someone else.

. . .

A week passes without any visits or messages sent in hopes of mending. Though Doyoung could recall many arguments from the past, he could not find any that seriously took a toll on him emotionally. Each passing day had his heart hanging by a thread, begging and aching to fall and crash - if it were to happen in one of these days, Doyoung felt like his own heart would shatter into a million pieces. He never felt this way after an argument with you. However, he felt this same feeling when seeing you with someone else.

The way you looked at him, eyes filled with adoration for your significant other made his own stomach twist; was it anxiety? Was it jealousy? No answer is perfect for the emotions overcoming him, struck with an unknown sickness when watching you from afar. How the very same person you loved held you with a hand placed on the small of your back, the proximity between the two of you is enough to have your lips meet his. The very scene made Doyoung feel sick.

Surely, the feelings had only appeared once he realized you are with someone else. The sickening reality of losing you to someone, specifically a person who hurts you over and over again, is the same someone who ruined the friendship shared between the two of you. If only, Doyoung could return back in time to confess his own feelings and save you from a curse put on your love for that someone.

Maybe he was an idiot for noticing so late to come in terms with the feelings he had towards you.

Unexpectedly, endless vibrating on the nightstand had awoken him from the empty dreams he seemed to have every night. Lowly groaning to himself, he turns onto his side to face the bright screen of his phone; the vibrations leading away from his daze, slowly sitting up and reaching over to pick up his device. Without a second glance to the caller ID, he answers with a deep ‘hello’ of sleep, eyes barely staying open as he dozes off.

Your voice reaches his ears, instantly awakening him as he becomes alert. He could hear the panic weighing your tone, confusion and concern flooding his tired mind - every pessimistic thought striking him like a slap across his face. “Y/N? What happened? Are you okay?” Doyoung asks, kicking off his blankets and leaving his bed to have the cold night embrace him; only bits of the cold calmed down his arising anxiety, however.

“I am outside, Doyoung…Can you please open up?” You spoke out shakily. Without another word, Doyoung is rushing outside his room and towards his apartment door. Hands reaching out to flip the lightswitch near the entrance, the only light illuminating throughout the apartment; he quickly unlocks and opens the door to reveal you standing before him. Hints of deja vu caused him to stiffen, but he was relieved to see you again. Words of apology wishing to leave him, but they remained in his throat - what was he nervous about?

Was it the way you stood, a smile slowly growing on your lips while you stare back at him with watery eyes? Every tear wishing to fall, but you held back with everything you had. The phone pressed against your ear is long gone, as your arms are reaching out towards Doyoung. The coldness of the night is long forgotten once you capture him in your arms, holding onto him tightly and fingers gripping onto the fabric of his warm sweater. Stunned, Doyoung blinks several times before engulfing you into the safety of his arms.

Resting your head against his chest, you let out a deep breath - “I did it…I am so sorry for stressing you out with my problems…But, I finally left him.” You choke out, the accomplishment causing the tears in your eyes to finally fall. Relief overcame the two of you, the previous anxiety cursing Doyoung was dispelled; he hugged you much closer, squeezing you tightly and you let out a small laugh with a head tilting upwards to look at your best friend. Looking down at you with an easy smile playing at his lips, “I am proud of you, Y/N…”

“I-I am so sorry…F-For the o-other night,” you let out with guilt escaping from your voice and through your tears. Doyoung laughs lightly, shaking his head and bringing a hand against the back of your head; burying your face against his chest, he lets out a sigh and holds you tightly as though he had no intention of letting you go anytime soon. Despite the tears dampening his sweater, the smile of reassurance never leaves his face - after all, you came back to him.

Leaning down to rest his head against yours, “I am so glad…” he whispers against your hair while he holds you all night to cry out the bittersweet ending of it all.

. . .

It wasn’t a foreign idea of you staying in his apartment. Due to being friends for so long, Doyoung never minded your company; whether there was a limit to the time you two accompany each other or you are staying and sleeping in his apartment for whatever reason, Doyoung was always giving you a second home. Unfortunately though, your best friend had sacrificed his comfort and spine to sleep on the couch as the apartment had no extra room for you to sleep in.

No matter how many times you insist for Doyoung to sleep in the comforts of his room instead, he was already setting up the couch and taking his charger out of the room to the living room space connected to the small kitchen area. Even if you were unsure about the duration of your stay, Doyoung is always willing to give you a roof above your head, as he couldn’t bear the thought of you out and about in an unfamiliar place or area. At this point, the two of you are roommates after a few days passed.

Overtime, Doyoung watched every emotion expressed from your beautiful face and paid attention to any change of your behavior. Only small signs of you being down is noticeable to Doyoung, knowingly the sadness after a breakup is not one to easily walk away from; the shared memories of you with the person you could see clearly in the future takes time for you to break away from what you hoped the future held.

You awaken from the dream of it all, only to hold an overbearing amount of sorrow from the heartbreak.

But, Doyoung did his very best to heal every wound taking place in your heart. Ripping you away from the depressing state of mind, he distracted you with warmth and joy; the collection of the two of your friendship’s growing and possibly becoming endless, as laughter and delight filled the emptiness you soon felt. Watching movies, having deep talks, cooking together, cleaning together - it was a list that seemed to go on that protected the fulfillment inside your heart.

Of course, you weren’t exactly invincible to any contradiction of what you felt with Doyoung. Staying awake for one of those nights was a living nightmare, whereas you lay on the mattress of Doyoung’s bed and stare at the dark ceiling above; thoughts racking your head like crashing waves lacking any stability for your damn brain. You wished you could silence every thought appearing inside, but you end up in tears. Even with attempts of music or watching videos to distract yourself, the tears are leaving you and the hopelessness drowns you.

You missed having someone next to you on the bed. You missed having someone willing to hold and touch you affectionately. As you continue to miss, you begin to realize how lonely you are.

Sighing to yourself, you sit up and glance at the digital clock on the bedside. The glowing numbers of ‘1:27’ a.m. meet your gaze, stressed fingers running through your hair with another sigh leaving you while getting up from the warm bed. Quietly the wooden floor creaks underneath you, your sock covered feet shuffling across and walking out the room; trying your best to not make a sound, you open it and peek your head out to see your best friend on his side with small snores escaping from him.

Carefully walking out the room, you left the door open and your eyes returned back to Doyoung sound asleep on the couch. Chest rising and falling with every breath leaving him, incoherent words would sometimes leave him and you smiled at his habit of sleep-talking; you could remember the many times you would tease him during your sleepovers, the image of his red face and defensive pout was always special to you. It is a fond detail you always seemed to love about him.

The thought was instantly shaken away, knowing you may find those things something more because of your breakup. Treading towards the kitchen area, you tried your best not to stumble or make any noise; you hate to wake up your best friend because of your own problems. In fact, you are tired of doing the same thing over and over to him - you never meant to burden him, especially after the argument, you were fortunate enough to be accepted into his life with a forgiving heart.

But, maybe you are an idiot for not thinking of bringing your phone to turn on the flashlight and navigate through the apartment easier. To your damn luck, you stub your toe and you let out a pained moan, instantly lifting up your foot to hold onto it in hopes of relieving the pain cursing your foot. Mumbling out curses and leaning against the edge of the counter, you hear Doyoung shifting on the couch and you look towards his shadow. Thankfully, he did not sit up nor say a word.

After calming yourself down with a dull pang in your foot, you move to open the fridge and let your eyes roam the selection of what should be your late night snack. Thinking to yourself on what you choose, you did not expect Doyoung shifting behind you on the couch and speaking up in his deep voice - “Y/N? Are you alright?” the words breaking the ringing silence throughout the room and causing you to jump, goosebumps growing on your skin while you turn quickly to face Doyoung sitting up.

Rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes, Doyoung yawns and slowly removes his hands from his eyes. He faces your dark figure across the room, the moonlight seeping through the curtains fell upon his face; silver kissing the pale skin of his, confusion is written over his handsome face and you breathlessly stare for a moment. Why did he look so cute? You felt guilty for awakening him because you wanted a snack to eat away your troubles.

“Sorry about that…I was being clumsy!” You say with a sheepish smile overtaking your lips, letting out a laugh to relieve the awkwardness of the situation. Glancing at the yogurt in hand, you clear your throat - “I was going to grab a snack since…You know…I got hungry,” you awkwardly explain, having no reason to be this awkward with your best friend. Doyoung lets out a hum in reply, moving off the couch and you tilt your head at him to watch him. He walks up to the lightswitch and turns it on, the brightness blinding you momentarily.

Holding up a hand to shield the light from your eyes and squint through the sudden invasion of your vision, Doyoung laughed at your reaction. “You hurt yourself because you didn’t turn on the lights,” he simply stated like a smartass he would be towards you. Scoffing, you grab a spoon from a drawer and open your yogurt - “If I turned on the lights, you would complain about me waking you up.” You say with a smile, the insomnia from before long gone once you were accompanied by Doyoung.

“You would have woken me regardless. You are always doing stuff without being prepared,” Doyoung answers back and you laugh with a shake of your head. Ah, he definitely knows you well - you’ve always been the type of person to act on the whim. The shared conversation between you fades into a comfortable silence, Doyoung walking up to the fridge to grab something to fill his stomach also. It was one of those moments, where your best friend is by your side without a word but simply with his presence; another trait of Doyoung’s, as he’s always one to showcase his affection through quality time.

His very own presence always seems relaxing, as tranquility surrounds him and brings you to ease each passing second when with him. Every single time, you are always back to him with a pleasurable ache.

Noticing your gaze captivated by him, Doyoung looks at you. His eyes observe every detail of your expression, trying to decipher what you could be thinking; but, your head seems to be in the clouds without revealing any emotions you could possibly be going through. “Are you okay?” He suddenly asks, the words leaving him without any afterthought; it was a question he’s been longing to ask, wanting to know how you are holding up after a handful of weeks had passed.

Despite him having an idea on what your answer could be, he would never tell you about the times of hearing you cry inside his room. Though you try your very best to muffle the cries escaping you or you are moving restlessly on his bed without a wink of sleep, he knew you are the type to say the complete opposite - sometimes, he wished he had the guts to pry more into your heart in hopes of holding it upon his palms.

You blink back at him, his eyes meeting yours and he had seriousness etched on his face. As much as you want to lie, you sigh and your gaze drops onto the floor - “I…I don’t really know.” You confess, knowing the weight within your chest is existing yet there was a clash of numbness battling it; for some odd reason, you felt the need to accept it without any emotions attached. You were unsure, if that was any progress to being better however. Supposedly, the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’ makes sense for your current mindset.

“I see...” He said, looking down to have a spoonful of his yogurt and you looked up towards him. Considering his words with an obvious sign of his eyebrows furrowing, he swallows - “Well, I am always here if you need something, okay?” He reminds you, a tender gaze meeting yours and you stare back with a small smile. Your best friend, Kim Doyoung, has been the type to say those words to anyone who needs it; to you, he truly was a dear friend. Sometimes, he is a friend you don’t deserve, at all.

You know you could disregard how sensitive Doyoung could be. Just like glass, he is able to reflect back with support, comfort and acceptance; he is willing to feel with you, no matter how overpowering those emotions could be. Maybe before you had completely forgotten to appreciate the way he is.

Bottom lip trembling, you lift up an arm to cover your eyes and Doyoung was taken aback by the sudden breakdown. He approaches you and worriedly looks at you, unsure whether he should pull you into a hug or ask what was wrong - did he say something wrong? Was it something you didn’t want to hear? Doyoung does his best to find a solution, trying not to freak out while you cry in front of him. The painful sight of seeing you like this was not something he could ever adapt to; he wished he could take away all the pain you felt at this very moment or for the past few days.

You wipe away your tears and look towards him, “I-I really appreciate you, Doyoung…You mean s-so much to me…” You say between your hiccuping cries, meeting his concerned yet conflicted gaze.

“I-I am sorry for always being like this. B-But thank you so m-much for always being there when I need it,” you smile through your tears. With wide eyes staring back at you, a rising blush appears on his face and Doyoung looks away to recollect his thoughts; his heart suddenly racing, as though his feelings are resurfacing to chase after you. He wanted to kiss you at that very moment, but somehow refrained from doing so. Doyoung shyly looked back at you, “I’ve dealt with you for years…Why would I leave now?”

You laugh, “I guess you are stuck with me huh?” Finally, you’ve calmed down the tears leaving you. This particular night seemed to be different, as every ounce from your carried burdens had been lifted up; whether it was for a period of time, you cherished it. He rolls his eyes, the blush never leaving his cheeks - “That’s so unfortunate…” he sighs, feigning disappointment at the fact and you lightly punch his shoulder. “You just love my company~” you jokingly say, sniffling and leaning over to hug his arm.

Regardless of the sarcastic reaction towards you, he held a smile on his lips when avoiding the stupid grin on your face. Knowing deep down, Doyoung loves everything about you.

. . .

From the distance, his eyes remained on you. Seemingly so, you don’t seem to notice his lingering gazes, even if your own instincts say otherwise - your trust towards Doyoung is possibly extended further than the galaxy itself. Even if you meet his eyes, you are smiling brightly at him without a damn clue about his own feelings - sometimes, it hurts to not be noticed. However, Doyoung cannot complain.

No matter how many times he builds himself up with confidence and convinces himself that he is ready, the words of his own confession always gets stuck in his throat; like a blade digging deep inside, preventing any sound of his profound love for you. He knew after months of you healing and staying together, you’ve grown better mentally - you are back to him without anyone interfering with the close bond you two held for years. Though the greed of wanting more remains, reminding him of his desperation of years for not being able to take a step further.

In his eyes, you stood with innocence and delight, he wished to protect the never ending prosperity of your joy. How your eyes express a glow, reminding him of a firework exploding in your eyes; despite the familiarity of it, he couldn’t help but have his heart racing with butterflies swarming in his stomach. How your laughter rings in his ears, the sound causing him to smile and despite the distance between the two of you - he is able to recognize it. How your lips uplift into a sweet smile, like nectar smeared upon your pretty lips - oh, he has a desire to kiss them and proclaim it as his.

He is nothing but a bee returning back to its favorite flower, seeming to be addicted to the feelings you always give him. It is bittersweet. These very same feelings are a double-edged sword, piercing his heart with any attempt, but at the end of it all - he is always holding his bleeding heart for you.

“Doyoung! What are you zoning out for?” A voice breaks the spell of infatuation, his eyes moving towards the male with dyed platinum blonde - Lee Taeyong. A close friend of his from his classes in the same University the both of you are attending, he didn’t notice how completely lost he was in reality; how the hell was he able to zone out during the surrounding noises of the carnival buzzing around him? Doyoung forces a smile, but the small sign of distress remains evident when furrowing his brows in mere confusion.

Shaking his head, “I didn’t get much sleep last night…I guess.” He answers back, the lie seen through like glass. Concern expresses from Taeyong’s face, knowing his close friend is not the best liar; in fact, Doyoung’s emotions can always be seen on his sleeve no matter how hard he tries. Following Doyoung’s gaze, Taeyong watches you play the minigame of the shooting game at one of the stalls with Lee Donghyuck competing against you; off in the sidelines, Johnny Suh stood with hands on his hips whilst Mark Lee ate icecream beside him.

A small outing with mutual friends, as you and Doyoung were invited. Due to being inseparable, the two of you basically shared the same friend group; among all of you, there were no weak links, as all of you easily get along with each other. If Doyoung was to ever lie to anyone and never get away with it, Taeyong always seems to know - unfortunately, this was one of those cases.

“Do you like Y/N?” Taeyong suddenly asks the question, making Doyoung choke on his own spit. Coughing and taking a hand out of his pockets, Doyoung pats himself on the chest as he tries to regain composure; Taeyong laughs a bit at his friend’s suffering, patting him on the back while Doyoung tries to muster up a reply. “What kind of question is that?!” Doyoung nearly shouts, luckily the crowd around them drowned out his voice. Coincidentally enough, your voice reaches him and he spares a glance at the stall.

You threw up your arms in the air, laughing and cheering while Johnny cheered alongside you. Next to you, Donghyuck pouts to himself and points a finger at Johnny - “Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?!” He whines, dramatically frowning like the world had ended from the betrayal. Doyoung smiles a bit at your victory, secretly rooting for you since the two of you started; on the other hand, Taeyong stood with a stalemate towards his question. “You definitely do,” Taeyong chuckles, the answer plain obvious.

Well, it’s always been obvious to the others but you. Taeyong even knew about the bets that were started by the others, seeming to believe in the idea of you and Doyoung being together; but, who would confess first? Majority of them are betting on you, knowing Doyoung is not one to take risks. Though, Taeyong cannot blame him - after all, Doyoung’s friendship with you lasted for years.

“You should talk to them soon,” Taeyong advises and Doyoung looks towards him with wide eyes. Doyoung laughs in disbelief, “Are you crazy?” He scoffs back in reply. He could never, especially with you; it wasn’t simple. You are special to him. Shrugging his shoulders, an arm reaching out and draping an arm over Doyoung’s shoulders to pull him closer - “The possibility of Y/N rejecting you is crazier.”

For a moment, Doyoung felt a pinch of hope from hearing the other’s encouragement; however, it diminished quickly, as soon as it appeared. The thought of you rejecting him is possibly the most heart wrenching memory he could carry, he knew he would ruin the friendship. The many years of building it, the many years of spending time together to only create memories every occasion; it will all become ruins because of him.

The possibility of you accepting him, what happens if you get hurt again? Love is complicated, it can be difficult overtime - what happens when the two of you separate and he hurts you? He has no intentions of the negative, but only loving you.

Taeyong notices the conflict in Doyoung’s eyes, a small frown appearing on his lips upon his friend’s mental dilemma. Thinking of the words to comfort him, he pauses to see you approaching with the other three trailing behind. “We should regroup with Yuta and the others, apparently they got lost when trying to get something Jungwoo wanted to eat.” Johnny says with phone in hand, Donghyuck trying to eat Mark’s icecream behind him but he doesn’t seem to pay no mind.

“Is something the matter?” You ask, noticing the seriousness etched on Taeyong and Doyoung’s face. Concern glazing over the happiness you expressed earlier, when observing the two males’ expressions - did something happen between them? Taeyong chuckled and shook his head, “It’s nothing serious. Doyoung forgot to turn in the assignment before the deadline and he is all gloomy about it.” He patted Doyoung on the shoulder, the raven-head glaring at him by the stupid excuse. Donghyuck mockingly laughs, “Someone’s percentage in the class is about to drop tonight!”

“It’s not a lot of points anyway,” Doyoung adds, trying his best to follow through. Steadily meeting your eyes, the concern overwriting the glee from before vanishing in a blink of an eye; you grinned at Doyoung, “You should relax though! It’s a festival, Doyoungie~” you said with a hand ruffling the other’s hair. Surprised, Doyoung blinks several times before pushing Taeyong and you away - “Don’t mess it up!” he sighs, trying to fix his hair from the playful aftermath. Taeyong looks around in the crowd, “Should we go look for them? I am sure they aren’t too far.”

The others agree, but your attention sways and suddenly lands on a stall nearby. “They are selling some cotton candy!” You exclaim while pointing at the stall like a child taking notice of their favorite toy in a store. Instinctively, everyone turns to where your finger was pointed at and Donghyuck hums - “I would like some too. The others can wait~” he says rather seriously, letting his own greed overtake his decision than helping his friends. Taeyong looks at you, “How about you and Doyoung grab some? You guys can stay here and we will meet up after finding the others.” He suggests. The youngest in the group raises his hand, “I want to grab some too! Can I stay here?” Donghyuck asks, looking at Taeyong with a pleading gaze.

“Do you want to be the third-wheel?” Mark asks his best friend, pointing at you and Doyoung. You laugh while Doyoung tenses up, glaring at his friends; but, no complaint falls from the male - he wouldn’t want to make your smile fade away after all. “You are right! They might start eating from the same cotton candy in front of me,” Donghyuck gags. Doyoung rolls his eyes, “Yeah we will have a k-drama moment and you are the side character.”

Donghyuck tilts his head with a smug smirk, “Then you must be the tragic second lead.”

Instantly, Doyoung gasps with a small sting; maybe that hit a little too close to home. After some bickering between the two, Taeyong intervenes and drags Donghyuck away with you nearly collapsing on the floor from the laughter; the insults of Donghyuck are seriously something, you are definitely reusing a few in other arguments. “What a damn brat.” Doyoung huffs, watching the others disappear into the crowd and you wipe at the corner of your eyes. You lean against Doyoung for support, “He’s definitely a funny brat!”

Scoffing, Doyoung turns to you. The grin never leaves your lips despite the end of the dispute and he sighs, a small smile appearing on his lips; it seems like all annoyance from before had melted away. Walking towards the stall you pointed out earlier, you ramble Doyoung’s ear off about winning the game against Donghyuck. With low hums leaving Doyoung and playful comments thrown in the conversation occasionally, the two of you are smiling and laughing like the two of you are in your own world.

It was a world without any worries. The burdens where the two of you carry are possibly a figment of imagination, as they are completely nonexistent; the two of you conversing like the night remains young, paying no mind with the sand seeping past the gaps of your fingers. In this world, Doyoung could see you clearly; you are the one catching his eye, every ounce of his attention solely put on you - in return, you are glowing back at him. You are so special, how could he ruin it?

Nearly reaching the front, you turn your head without much thought but to only have your eyes land on a familiar face. Your ex is standing with another person, his eyes on his current lover with a smile you seemed to remember falling in love with when the first time witnessing it; you felt your own heart drop, realizing how he keeps a hand on their back like he did to you. How he pulls them closer for a sudden kiss, you suddenly feel numb. The wounds of the past relationship did not reopen, instead you felt envious.

Would you be able to have someone again? Would the curse of loneliness on your heart be uplifted soon? Those questions destroyed all the positive emotion you felt with Doyoung at the very moment.

Doyoung notices the vacancy of your eyes, the sudden change making him worried as he glances over his shoulder to see your ex. Upon seeing him, Doyoung felt a spark within his heart; a fire starting within, as though the bitter emotions he felt towards your ex was causing him to feel angry. The many times of you being hurt because of him was the only thing he could think about, but he held back every impulse wishing to protect you; instead, he turned to you and instantly all flames died away by an unknown wind.

You looked empty. As though the trouble from before had returned, gradually manifesting inside you; he was losing you again. He can only assume what you could possibly be thinking about, but he knew you were hurting. Without a second thought, Doyoung reached out towards your hand and intertwined your fingers, tugging you out of line and running away. Astonished, you stumbled on your feet and nearly fell. Looking up and seeing Doyoung, you suddenly realized - he was supporting you like always.

Avoiding the many people crowding around, Doyoung drags you to the ferris wheel without a second glance. Reaching the short line in front of the ride, he breathes heavily while holding onto your hand tightly; you stand next to him, panting alongside him and you look down at his hand holding onto you. Dragging you to the ferris wheel cart, Doyoung finally looks towards you - “Lets ride here.” He says and you only nod, sitting inside with Doyoung following suit. The two of you face each other, your head being cleared as the ride begins to move.

“Thank you.” You smile at him, Doyoung meeting your eyes and taking note of the sad smile overtaking your lips. He slowly nodded in reply, the tension thick between the two of you; but, it wasn’t exactly awkward - it was depressing. Seemingly so, the two of you are having your own battles. Turning to look out the window, the view growing higher and you felt tears well up in your eyes. It’s been months of moving on, why did it hurt again? You felt pathetic for returning back to square one.

Resting your head against the cart’s window, “I didn’t think it was going to hurt.” You admit, breaking the silence between the two of you. Doyoung whips his head towards you, his gaze falling away from the view outside - suddenly, the world the two of you are living in is growing darker. “But, it’s not like…It hurts because I wanted him…It hurt because I felt jealous.” You say, furrowing your brows in confusion as you try to voice out your hazy mind. Gloominess causes your mind to feel heavy and foggy, you aren’t sure what you are saying.

“I felt jealous because…Because I wondered if I could be happy with someone again.” Breathing out the truth, the weight crushes you and you feel like breaking down into a fit of tears. Doyoung stares back at you, the prospering flower he protected for so long began to waver once again - suddenly, being swayed by a strong wind and the stem growing weaker by each passing second. He watched how you were falling apart. Though he is ready to catch you like always, he realizes how much he runs away.

How he runs away from his feelings every single time. How he runs away with you, to only realize how much you affect him; you are his first love, why don’t you notice that?

Reaching out, his hands rest on top of yours and you look up at him. You never seen this emotion before, the look of desperation raging in his eyes - “I want to be that someone for you.” He confesses, the words causing your eyes to widen. Though Doyoung did not expect his own confession to end up like this, he continues on; the pain spilling out from him, as though his love is consuming him with how awful he felt for years.

“I love you so damn much…I’ve always wanted to be something more to you,” he said with his eyes falling away from yours.

‘But, I always ran away.’

‘I want to change that.’

“You are precious to me. You’ve always been so precious that I want the best for you. After so long, I want to be with you - I am tired of running away, I want to love you.” he truthfully tells and you try to find words on what to say. It was so unexpected, even with your intuition being correct about his feelings; you realize how he never asks for anything. He is your best friend for years, a person who never voices out what he wants yet here he was wanting you. From the lack of response, Doyoung’s embarrassment settles in and he pulls away with flushed cheeks.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t run away from this - the sight of the city meets his eyes once he looks away, the cart reaching the top where the two of you could easily overlook the carnival and meet sight of the city lights. “I am sorry about that…Forget what i’ve said,” he mumbles out trying to run away from the conversation at hand. He is an idiot. What the hell was he doing? Why would he confess here and now of all places? Closing his eyes, he tries his best to even out his breathing and prevent the tears wishing to fall.

Mentally preparing himself for the upcoming rejection, he knew he can’t cry in front of you - he doesn’t want you to pity him, especially for waiting so long to confess. “Doyoungie…” you call out, the nickname causing his heart to crack and have a bitter aftertaste in his mouth after gulping; he could feel his own throat tightening, knowingly he could cry out any second. Opening his eyes, he looks towards you with vulnerability - fear, regret, and hurt reflecting back at you; you hesitated once seeing him like this.

He’s always been strong, seeing this was new.

“You’ve always been my best friend for years…But…” You start, the sentence never finishing as you see Doyoung’s eyes fall to the floor again. Smiling at him, you lean forward - “I am sorry for never noticing your feelings earlier…” Speaking softly, your touch lightly touches his cheek once you place your palm. Your touch was warm against his cold skin, you guided his face to look at you properly - Doyoung looking back at you, knowing you are pitying him.

Leaning in, you plant a feather-like kiss upon his lips and he freezes under your touch. A spell casted upon him, paralyzed by your delicate touch - he did not expect that. “I love you too,” you say once leaning away to observe his expression; you could see the gears turning in his head, processing on what just happened. Surely, you are one fool for never giving him a chance. Suddenly, Doyoung takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap.

Your eyes widen when feeling the cart jolt by the movement - “Doyoung!” you gasp, trying to stay still to hopefully stabilize the cart. Doyoung holds onto you, tightly and closely, as he looks up at you with the most endearing smile. “Sorry, I forgot…” He says breathlessly, meeting your eyes and seeing the adoration within your gaze; unexpectedly, he meets your affection eye to eye. For once, he wasn’t in the distance where you would give the very same amount to anyone else.

The world around the two of you grew vibrant, the colors of the lights outside glowing around the two of you. You are infatuated with Doyoung, suddenly leaning down to kiss his lips once more; the warmth and love he returns into the kiss causes your own body to melt against him. This whole time, the perfect fit for you has always been here - waiting so patiently and always protecting you since the beginning.

Constantly returning back to one another, always running back to each other with hearts always connecting, the platonic barrier between the two of you is crossed. After so long, Doyoung had won - you are his and he could proudly hold onto you.

Finally, Kim Doyoung captured your heart upon his palms.

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