#kemi fucking badenoch

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

Great so now we're outing children/teenagers to their parents! And therefore possibly endangering them! Fantastic!

#kemi fucking badenoch #i genuinely cannot stand that woman #at a tory event one time she stuck 'male' and 'female' signs on the doors of gender neutral bathrooms #who fucking does that? #and who does this?? you are FORCING teachers to out their students #what if they hear by accident that a student's friends refer to them with different name/pronouns? #they have to report that home? #for some queer kids the ONLY place they can be themselves is at school with their friends (and even then it's limited) #and now kemi badenoch is taking that away as well #for FUCK'S sake #uk politics #trans rights #kemi badenoch #this is taken from a guardian article btw!! #sorry to be like #depressing on main lmao #but i can't rant abt this to my mum bc tbh she'd probably agree with badenoch #so tumblr it is #i am just #SO FRUSTRATED BY THE TORIES AND THEIR 'CuLtUrE wAr' #GROW TF UP AND GET SOME EMPATHY UGHHHHH #transphobia #tw transphobia

[nando161mando]

Born to Nigerian parents, yet has the gaul to say Britain didn't gain its wealth through colonialism

#kemi badenoch #nigerian #colonialism #britain #uk politics #ukpol #uk government #uk govt #ukgov #uk #colonial violence #colonial america #colonial history #colonialization #coloniality #ausgov #politas #auspol #tasgov #taspol #australia #fuck neoliberals #neoliberal capitalism #anthony albanese #albanese government #capitalism #anti capitalist #capitalist hell #capitalist dystopia #capitalist bullshit

[lost-carcosa]

#uk politics #brexit #trade deals #kemi badenoch #texas #greg abbott #tory lies #fuck the tories

[lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers]

TW; transphobia/trans erasure

Tweet under the cut, but the UK Equalities minister has effectively just tweeted that trans people don't exist.

#uk politics #fuck the tories #fuck kemi badenoch #trans rights #tw: transphobia

[wtdylio]

I want to die

https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/uk/kemi-badenoch-mp-appointed-equalities-minister-416513/

#GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING ISLAND #uk politics #uk pol #politics #kemi badenoch #trans rights #fuck terfs #TERFS DNI

[emma-radfemcanu]

Like don't get me wrong, I hate the Conservatives and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever vote for them, but omg the amount of outrage over Rishi Sunak saying 'a man is a man and a woman is a woman. it's common sense'

I am very cynical about the motives of politicians like Miriam Cates and Kemi Badenoch- they are no friend to women at all but nonetheless I'm kind of glad that at least someone is saying it? The Tories are doing terribly in the polls atm and since Labour cannot sort themselves out, they're hoping it'll be a vote winner- it won't make much of a difference imo because rightly or wrongly most people have more pressing problems (housing, cost of living, education, healthcare etc etc)

But seriously after yesterday's speech I've seen so many people going on about how unsafe the UK is for trans people, the usual suicide stats, multiple celebrities expressing support for their poor oppressed trans friends, and so on- I even saw one person saying that if a trans person is attacked and killed then Sunak should be arrested and charged ���� all because he said something that literally everyone knows to be true, but people are seriously acting like he said 'I want to round up all trans people in the UK and murder them as brutally as possible'

Seriously these people need to get a fucking grip, I'm so tired of their manipulative bullshit

[ayeforscotland]

im a stupid non scottish who is in the 'UK' and a guy...well worst part of UK...

why the fuck are legal changes in Scotland not recognised anywhere else and people have to do another legal form for them to be? Shouldn't it be automatic like when I got a UK passport it was automatic throughout the UK?

pls explain. is it just Tories being cunts again and forcing people to do another shit form for their own legal rights to be seen properly across the whole of the UK?

If you’re talking about GRA reform then that was within the ‘competency’ of the Scottish Parliament - which means it’s a devolved area.

The UK government trying to block it is extremely risky because it’s an attack on devolution and it’s also potentially an attack to override Scots law.

UK government has shot itself in the foot because the fucking idiot Tory equalities minister, Kemi Badenoch, decided to take a swipe at all foreign Gender Recognition Certificates.

This could lead to any certificates that aren’t issues in England and Wales not being honoured by the UK. Something that will become an point of contention when dealing with other countries. It’s not diplomatic, it’s dumb.

[28dayslater]

The problem is every Tory MP is either a non entity or a complete fucking lunatic. Sunak can't stick Horatio Brunton-Smythe (MP for Spifford upon Avon) in one of the great offices of state bc he'll forget he exists a week into the job, and he can't give it to someone like Kemi Badenoch bc a minor scandal about benefits for expectant mothers will happen and her response will be to suggest nuking Poland

[spaceyqueer]

what really fucking irritates me about all the transphobia in the British media right now is that I guarantee the Tories and, largely, the British public do not give as much of a shit as they've lead the media to believe. Are they transphobic? Abso-fucking-lutely, because the Tories hate anything that deviates from the norm because otherwise they would struggle to maintain control as the upper class bastards they are, and I don't doubt there are individuals (looking at you, Kemi Badenoch) who are unhinged enough to believe that trans people are violent predators lurking in bathrooms to attack cis women, but by-and-large most of these people probably wouldn't be able to tell a fucking trans person apart in a line up. They only care about control, and if that control means wielding one of the Hot Topics of the times (aka should we treat trans people with basic human rights) as a shitty sword they're going to fucking do it.

Much easier to use something people don't understand well enough to combat against - I mean, I'm not going to lie to you as a trans person I didn't even fully understand trans issues until I went to college and got my butt thoroughly kicked into gear - when there is so much other shit going on they could be fixing and are undoubtedly being criticised for. The blocking of the GRA reform in Scotland is only like 10% about trans people from transphobes, and 90% about maintaining control of the status quo. If they look like they're doing something - "see, we're keeping those violent nasty trans people away from good respectable normal people!" - people are less likely to pay attention to the other heinous nasty stuff that they're doing (such as underfunding the NHS, for example, despite promising millions after Brexit, or how about when they changed the law regarding protests that basically allow the police to arrest protestors for no reason, or the shipping of immigrants to Rwanda despite human rights organisations best efforts).

It is all about control.

#British politics #transphobia #j k rowling #terf island #scottish independence #UK politics #rishi sunak #kemi badenoch #trans rights #transgender rights #GRA reform

[pulchrasilva]

Truly there is nobody i hate more than kemi fucking badenoch

#uk politics

[lost-carcosa]

The third TV debate between the Tory party leadership candidates has been cancelled...

#UK politics #tory party leadership election #tory party meltdown #rishi sunak #penny mordaunt #liz truss #kemi badenoch #tom tugendhat #fuck every single one of them #they are all terrible in their own unique ways #and i don't trust a single one of them to be prime minister #fuck the tories

[stepperbox]

fucking fascist fucking bull fucking shit

#i am not angry about this state of affairs as you can tell 🙃

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: August 2023

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of August 2023 to make sure that they are never forgotten.         

Raging neanderthal Lee Anderson didn't so much say the quiet part out loud and bellow it above the echoing sound of his knuckles scraping against the ground when he literally said asylum seekers should “Fuck off back to France” if they think housing migrants on a floating deathtrap might happen to make the Tories look like a bunch of fascist, dogwhistling cunts 

...and yet the hard centre extremists did not seem concerned about Anderson’s rhetoric and tone, yet the second that Diane Abbott drew attention to dozens of migrants drowning in the Mediterranean by using Anderson's knuckledragging against him they were up in arms about her tone and rhetoric

...all the while Suella Braverman and Robert Jenrick were both wondering if they could very quietly fuck off to France when it emerged that, within 24 hours, not only had people with typhoid been allowed onto the Bibby Stockholm without any thought given to quarantine, but then there was a Legionnaires outbreak that saw those on board whisked away for treatment on dry land

...though Suella Braverman wasn't quite done with abysmal takes regarding the Bibby Stockholm when it then emerged the Fire Brigade Union had declared it to be a potential deathtrap, to which Braverman countered by saying the FBU were in cahoots with Labour

Just when you think Kemi Badenoch can’t be an even more ridiculous face of going full fash, she announces that she wants to appoint a Lavatory Tsar to eradicate gender neutral toilets in all buildings because this is the level of culture war bullshit we’re getting from the Tories at this point...unless you're disabled, as disabled toilets will continue to be gender neutral because Kemi Badenoch doesn't recognise disabled people as being real human beings so they’re exempt from this TERFy lunacy which continues to pretend that nobody has ever been on a plane or a train

Good on Fabian Marta for exposing the Sound of Freedom pyramid scheme in a way nobody would have expected, with him getting arrested for child felony kidnapping which makes the sugar daddy parties he runs looks even ickier.  Just a reminder, Marta is credited at the end of the film for funding getting the word out.  But remember, anyone who criticises the film is a paedophile...

Somebody forgot to tell Iain Duncan Smith that the Tories are the so-called party of law and order, as IDS came down with a particularly bad case of ULEZ Derangement Syndrome when he started praising residents of his constituency who destroy ULEZ cameras

...but thoughts and prayers for Charlie Mullins and his terminal case of ULEZ Derangement Syndrome, which got him suspended form Twitter for calling on people to murder Sadiq Khan with plenty of race baiting involved in it, yet somehow never mentioning proven liar Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson or Grant Schapps who are the actual architects of ULEZ.  Funny that...

I think a Welfare Check is needed at the Daily Mail considering their latest cry for help is having Connor Stringer take to Twitter asking for people to DM him examples that can be used in a column called Woke Watch

...which, of course, isn't the Daily Mail looking for any form of distraction because they finally suspended Dan Wootton from his MailOnline column when they finally realised the laundry list of charges was not only not going away, but also growing by the week

Brilliant optics from Manchester United by placing the onus on their women's team as to whether or not domestic abusing rapist Mason Greenwood should be allowed back into the first team, and going the extra mile by allowing the fact their women's team had his future in the balance to be reported in the press, meaning that Manchester United fans were incelsplaining to members of their women's team why they should shut up and let him back into the team

...and then Manchester United released a statement which talked about the feelings of the real victims in all of this: Manchester United stakeholders, who have been affected so very badly at one of the club’s assets being asked to take responsibility for their actions

...and soon after Rachel Riley piped up to say how, if anybody is the true victim of all of this, it is Rachel Riley due to her not looking like a typical Manchester United fan

Billionaire manchild Elon Musk apparently didn't like mummy stepping in to stop his fight with Mark Zuckerberg, judging by how much shit-talking he is doing about Zuckerberg on Twitter up to and including borderline doxxing him (which, last time I checked, was grounds for termination if you were posting coordinates for somebody's private jet...), which just got more desperate after Zuckerberg publicly bitched him out for promising to do something and pulling out - which is all that Musk ever does

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk decided to have another one of his brilliant ideas, this time removing the block function from Twitter which definitely doesn't make it look like he's annoyed that either any advertisers shoved into people’s twitter feeds are blocked on sight or he saw the backend that revealed just how many people block him.  Oh, and there was a slight problem: he literally can’t remove the block function, as having one is a condition of being hosted on the App Store and Google Play Store

Notable not-particularly-good swimmer Riley Gaines showed off her credentials for being a stochastic terrorist when she tweeted out the name, location and phone number of a librarian who had been identified for the usual harassment campaign - and within hours the library received a bomb threat

Of course beanie-wearing testicle Tim Pool is the sort of reactionary grifter who tries to rile up his fanbase to stage a civil war if Trump goes to jail - just as he's unlikely to be within five miles of the frontlines if one starts

...and then beanie-wearing testicle Tim Pool decided that it was time to go full incel on his podcast and Twitter, prattling about women’s “body count” like he's thirsty for Lucy Letby or something and then tweeting how any women who has ever slept with more than one man is a slut...which begs the question if that's one more person than Timmy slept with or wo

Apparently it's okay for Seth Dillon to make jokes about a 13-year old girl who was raped and had to give birth due to Mississippi laws forbidding her from getting an abortion because of FREEZE PEACH, but if you dare make fun of Seth Dillon for their shitty opinions he will run to the Twitter moderators so fast because you're not allowed to make fun of him.  No wonder Babylon Bee is about as funny as, well, being a 13 year old forced to carry your child of rape to term because Mississippi lawmakers hate women that much

A mere 78 days after Nadine Dorries announced she would be resigning as an MP with immediate effect, she actually resigned in a tsunami of sour grapes that definitely doesn't make her look like she's sulking for not getting into the Lords nor address the minor fact she hasn't attended Parliament once in over a year - and by complete coincidence, she just so happened to resign the day after it was announced that MP’s compensation for resigning or losing their seat would be doubled

Good on Stephen Kinnock for letting the electorate know just how different things will be if Keir Starmer’s Labour Party get into power with his bold proclamation that, as the Bibby Stockholm is already docked, Labour will be just as keen to shove migrants into the floating death trap as the Tories

Good look from the Real Federación Española de Fútbol when their response to their president Luis Rubiales planting a smacker on Jenni Hermoso’s lips with no consent whatsoever after Spain won the Women’s World Cup final was to circle the wagons around Rubiales even when the Spanish Prime Minister said his horniness was wholly inappropriate 

Brainwashed buffoon Marjorie Taylor Greene really boosted the Republicans’ “party of law and order” schtick with her proclaiming she'd still vote for registered sex offender Donald Trump even if he was in jail

Failed nepo baby Lawrence Fox is now so desperate for attention that he is literally posting photos of himself wearing blackface on Twitter, while also blacking up his children and having them pose for photos, which pretty much guarantees he won't be getting his monthly visits while making his threats of legal action against anyone who dares call him racist disappear pretty damn quickly 

Alleged educator Katharine Birbalsingh is probably going to have to buy her academy's history department some beta blockers after saying teachers have a “communist mentality” and doubling down on that by saying Stalin treated everybody the same...that’s the same Stalin whose name prefixes the term “...ist purges”, which anybody with a basic understanding of a subject before mouthing off on it would be aware of

Not only is Kari Lake still in deep denial about losing the Arizona gubernatorial election in November of last year, but now frowning thumb Joe Rogan has suddenly decided to weigh in with his “hot” take about an election that took place almost a year ago

While there's dozens of versions of what CM Punk and Jack Perry did backstage at All In which are flying around the internet, the agreed upon facts are that Perry acted up on camera due to a disagreement with Punk backstage several weeks prior to the show and as soon as Perry returned backstage to find Punk there waiting to go out for his match a scuffle broke out.  Anything after that involves a dartboard due to the ever-increasing number of variations

This month it was Antoinette Sandbach demonstrating how Tories really can't get their heads around the Streisand Effect with her publicly demanding that people stop bringing up that her ancestors were slave traders - which people weren't doing until she publicly demanded that all people stop bringing it up in response to one person mentioning it on Twitter which would have likely disappeared into the ether if se said nothing

Great look by both Rishi Sunak and Prince William for both flat refusing to fly out to Australia for the Women’s World Cup Final and the complete lack of anything approaching a valid reason for their not going, which looked especially good with Queen Letizia flying out to cheer on Spain in the final

Desperate attempts to feel oppressed by Comedy Unleashed by announcing a show at the Edinburgh with a super secret cancelled special guest at an LGBTQ-friendly venue - and a few days before the show they revealed the increasingly deranged Graham Linehan as their super secret cancelled special guest, which unsurprisingly got the show pulled there and then...but, of course, that means Comedy Unleashed are acting like they're being silenced, and demonstrating this by screeching to anyone and everyone in the press who is happy to give them a platform to screech about their being silenced

So the true victim of Sarah Moulds punching her horse in the face and kicking it for good measure, unaware that she was being filmed as she did so, was...Sarah Moulds, who issued a bizarre statement about not trusting what you read on social media as if the video of her punching a horse in the face and kicking it for good measure doesn't exist when it clearly does 

So the best defence that xQc could come up with for stealing other people's content and getting rich off their labours is “I’m rich”, at least when he isn't having one hell of a meltdown when getting called out for it, because apparently the only way he can feel shame is when his maid walks in on him while he’s streaming stealing other people's content

Would now be a bad time to mention that Tumblr once again has a bot problem?  My list of followers on ere is almost as botted as billionaire manchild Elon Musk’s list of followers on Twitter - albeit with the difference that I go out of my way to remove the bots following me due to not having a micropenis

And finally, of course, is registered sex offender Donald Trump and the complete bitchfit he threw because, oh boy, he really doesn't like it when the “...and find out” part comes knocking on his door and tells him to drag his Cheeto-toned ass into court

...and that's before registered sex offender Donald Trump tried to coin the new buzzphrase “Never Surrender” for his brainless cultists when his mugshot was released, missing the point that for his mugshot to exist he needed to surrender to authorities

#dickheads of the month

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

fucking kemi badenoch i’m gonna SCREEEEAAAMMM

#uk politics

[smallmouthfrog]

There hasn't been any coverage of this in the press but on 8th March there was a debate in the UK Parliament about the long delayed ban on conversion therapy. The ban has huge cross party support. The government keeps saying it will introduce the ban but we've been 1000 days waiting and this week's debate was intended to give them a kick up the arse. Instead, we got our Equalities Minister saying "It is wonderful to see so many people united against this abhorrent practice, and I look forward to many more debates on the issue."

More debates.

MORE DEBATES.

This government cares so little about LGBT+ rights that even its own LGBT+ advisor, an actual Tory, has shown some integrity and resigned in despair.

So yeah, fuck the Tories.

#fuck the tories #seriously fuck the fucking tories #section 28 #jayne ozanne #lgbt+ rights #and specifically fuck Kemi Badenoch and Liz Truss

[encounterthepast]

If you enjoy this please follow @RussInCheshire on twitter for his regular threads on UK politics.

As it’s the weekend, let’s start #TheWeekInTory with a frivolous and jolly story about our own govt deliberately starving hundreds of thousands of children...

1. In May, Boris Johnson promised “nobody will go hungry as a result of Coronavirus”

2. He then denied school meals to the 600,000 poorest children

3. So Marcus Rashford ran a campaign to get the govt to feed children, which - just think about that: he had to *campaign* for it

4. Then Boris Johnson congratulated Rashford on his campaign to overturn the cruel policies of, erm, Boris Johnson

5. And then 3 days later, Boris Johnson refused to feed those kids during school holidays

6. So this week Labour organised a parliamentary vote about it

7. And 322 Tories voted against feeding hungry children

8. Vicky Ford, the Children’s Minister (who you’ll be surprised to hear neither looks nor sounds like a ludicrous Dickensian villain) went ahead and voted against feeding children

9. Tory MP Jo Gideon voted against feeding children. Jo Gideon, in case you didn't think things could get any more unbelievable, is also the chair of "Feeding Britain", a charity that campaigns to end food poverty and hunger in the UK.

10. Tory MP Paul Scully waved away the grumbling parents of kids with grumbling tummies, and said “children have been going hungry under Labour for years”, seemingly forgetting Tories have been in power for a decade

11. Tory MP Ben Bradley, who once had to apologise for suggesting sterilising the poor, said feeding children will simply “increase their dependency”. On food. Yeah, wean the little bastards off it. It’ll do them good in the end, which will be around 3 agonising weeks.

12. At this point, pause to consider that MPs get their food and drink subsidised. A £31 meal in a parliamentary restaurant costs MPs £3.45. In 2018 this subsidy cost the taxpayer £4.4m. I can’t find any record of Tories like Ben Bradley voting against this.

13. Pressing on: Ben Bradley also said “Some parents prioritise other things ahead of their kids. Small minority, yes... but some do”. Yes, and a small minority of Tory MPs have been arrested for rape. Should we send them all to prison?

14. Also, Mark Francois voted (by proxy) to keep kids hungry. Not related to the previous item. Why would you think that?

15. Tory MP Nicky Morgan said the govt voted to starve 600,000 children cos a Labour MP called a Tory MP scum. And that’s not a scummy thing to do at all.

16. Tory MP David Simmonds said Marcus Rashford’s experience of poverty in secondary school “took place entirely under a Labour government”. Rashford was 11 when Tories came into power, making David Simmonds are rare example of an ad hominem attack on yourself

17. Simmonds then said Labour’s parliamentary vote was “all about currying favour with wealth and power and celebrity status”. He might be right – the govt managed to unify Gary Linaker and Nigel Farage in condemnation of their denial of food to kids

18. Brandan Clark-Smith (who voted to starve kids) demanded “more action to tackle the real causes of child poverty”

19. So at once, the govt cut minimum wage for furloughed people. They now get 2/3 of the money the govt says is the absolute minimum it is possible to survive on

20. And then it was revealed that low-paid workers who have to isolate due to Covid can claim £500. Yay!

21. But if they’re told to isolate by the govt’s contact tracing app, they can’t claim anything. Un-yay.

22. Long story short: the govt cannot spend £120m feeding children. But it can spend £522 on the Eat Out Scheme, which its own report said contributed “negligible amounts” to the hospitality economy, and Boris Johnson admitted drove up infection rates – especially in the North

23. Those infection rates caused the govt to move Manchester into Tier 3

24. So the Mayor of Manchester asked for a £90m support package (1/6th of the money the govt spent causing the problem in the first place)

25. The govt said no, £60m

26. The Mayor said, how about £65m?

27. The govt said no, £60m

28. The Mayor said ok, fine, we’ll take the £60m

29. And then govt offered Manchester £22m, and then went to the press and said the Mayor was "being unreasonable"

30. The negotiations were led by Robert Jenrick, who recently set up a fund for the poorest 101 towns, then awarded his town £25m even though it is the 270th poorest, and therefore not even eligible

31. £25m is £237 per person

32. Manchester gets £7.85 per person

33. Robert Jenrick gave Manchester (2.8 million people) £22m

34. Robert Jenrick gave Richard Desmond (1 person) £45m

35. The talks broke down when the govt wouldn’t spend an extra £5m

36. The govt plans to spend £7m vitally rebranding "Highways England" to "National Highways"

37. Manchester Young Conservatives tweeted “Boris has lied about helping us in the North. It’s time for him to go". Don't look - they deleted it. Suspect somebody had a word.

38. Meanwhile the govt said Manchester will get the £60m after all, and chaos continue to reign supreme

39. But that £60m is brief reprieve for the Tories of Manchester, as a govt report said Tory seats in the North of England (the so-called "Red Wall" seats) can expect to lose at least 4000 jobs *each* as a result of Brexit, even if we do get a deal. More if we don't.

40. The govt rushed to begin its first airport Coronavirus testing, a mere 211 days after mandatory airport testing was begun in South Korea

41. South Korea has had 8 deaths per million

42. The UK has had 665 deaths per million

43. More airport news, as the govt finally accepted Brexit will cause “up to 8-hour delays at passport checks” and asked the EU to allow UK citizens to queue at EU-only lanes. Like we did when we were in the EU. But we aren’t now. So tough.

44. A senior diplomat said, “Having grown up in Brussels, Boris Johnson values the ability to travel freely to the continent”. You’d think Boris Johnson would foresee this problem when he led the campaign to stop that freedom.

45. The independent reviewer of Terrorism Legislation said the UK “will be increasingly unable to cope” after Brexit, as we lose access to EU data-sharing agreements

46. And a No-Deal end to UK/EU scientific collaboration will leave London with a £3bn annual deficit

47. In the space of 38 days, the govt announced the £100bn "Operation Moonshot" to solve Covid; then cancelled it; and then re-launched it again after it was found they’d accidentally continued to pay over 200 private consultants up to £7000 a day to work on it.

48. So this week, Boris Johnson said Moonshot would continue, but it’s goals “would take time”, which is the literal opposite of what he said it would do when it first announced it, and makes the entire thing absolutely pointless

49. And now it’s been admitted that Operation Moonshot would be quietly folded into the existing £12bn Test and Trace programme, and the £100bn has vanished. Apart from the bits the Serco consultants took for doing… nothing.

50. But Boris Johnson said the Test and Trace programme was “helping a bit”, and “a bit” is the least you’d expect if you’d spent £12bn

51. And then the £12bn Test and Trace programme fell to its lowest success rate so far, identifying only 60% of at-risk people

52. Local councils, with no additional funding, are tracing 98% of cases

53. A quick sweep though other epic successes you may have missed (or deliberately blocked out): Equalities minister Kemi Badenoch declared that it should be illegal to teach about inequality

54. The Cabinet Secretary said the report into “vicious and orchestrated” bullying by Home Secretary and Dementor Priti Patel “may never see the light of day”, cos if you have a report that vindicates you, you definitely sit on it as long as possible

55. And the appeals court unanimously overturned Priti Patel’s policy of removing people from the UK without giving them access to legal process or justice because – and I’m paraphrasing the judges here – what the fuck, Patel? What the actual fuck?

56. Undeterred, she announced plans to make rough-sleeping “grounds for removal of permission to be in the UK” and "denial of legal aid". So if you’re too poor to have a home, you must pay for a lawyer or she’ll shove you in the sea

57. After an unnamed Tory MP said it “looks bad to be handing top jobs to your friend and old boss”, Charles Moore, Boris Johnson’s friend and old boss, withdrew as next BBC chair.

58. The new favourite is Richard Sharp, the - yep - friend and old boss of Rishi Sunak

59. You’ll be amazed to hear this: Richard Sharp is a major donor to the Tory party. These little coincidences keep on happening

60. The govt decided to prevent EU citizens from having physical proof of their right to live in their own home

61. Grant Shapps threatened to “seize control of Transport for London” to save it from financial ruin at the hands of Sadiq Khan, who – the bastard - achieved a mere 71% reduction in the debts caused by his noble predecessor, Boris Johnson

62. Matt Hancock, facts at his fingertips, told MPs from Yorkshire their constituents could go on holiday abroad

63. But not in the UK

64. And then that they CAN go on holiday in the UK

65. But can't leave Yorkshire

66. He then said “I'll get back to you” about the details

67. A cross-party report found “the UK’s foreign policy is adrift”, that it lacks “clarity, confidence and vision” and that Britain is “absent from the world stage”. All of which is very soothing, as we move into the govt's proclaimed goal of a post-Brexit Global Britain.

68. And we can all relax: the govt is finally supporting culture in the UK, specifically the Nevill Holt Opera, which performs private operas, and is owned by Boris Johnson’s friend (and - jaw on floor! - Tory donor) David Ross, who is worth £700m so really needs the money.

69. The Nevill Holt Opera only functions in the summer, so thank god it has been prioritised with £85,000 to “maintain operations” in October.

And now, in honour of the opera, the fat lady can sing, cos I’m off to drink myself into oblivion. Join me.

We live in interesting times.

#tory scum #tory britain #uk news #uk this week #free school meals #andy burnham #marcus rashford