PROPHET SHARE
Opening this weekend:
The Oath--The warrior Moroni lives in a cave in a primordial forest. The strapping fellow is the last surviving member of his clan, exterminated by Aaron, the King of a rival tribe. One day he comes across Bathsheba, a beautiful concubine who has escaped Aaron's clutches. He gives her shelter from the storm, and they gradually bond. But of course, the cruel Aaron isn't done with either of them.
From his name alone, you may recognize that this film's hero is based on a figure from The Book of Mormon. The last of that tome's prophets, Moroni is supposed to have stashed the gold plates on which it was written, and after his death is supposed to have revealed them, as an angel, to Joseph Smith near Palmyra, New York in 1823.
In this movie, he's played by director-co-writer Darin Scott, buffed and bearded and armored in a reasonable approximation of the Viggo Mortensen-Alexander Skarsgård mold, but with little sense of barbaric danger (despite some broadsword combat, the movie is only rated PG-13). He's a studly but saintly paragon; at one point Bathsheba playfully tells him "You are boring." She's not entirely wrong, alas--he murmurs his lines, and spends a lot of his footage meditating or gazing into the spiritual distance--but he has a dash of guileless, unassuming Mormon sweetness that makes him endearing anyway.
Besides, the heavies liven up the picture. Most amusing is Billy Zane as the rotten Aaron, belting out his lines from behind a Muppet-like ball of frizzy beard in what at times sounds for all the world like an Irish accent. Karina Lombard is formidable as a lethal archer, as is Eugene Brave Rock as Aaron's henchman. "Why fight for a soulless coward?" Moroni wails at them at one point; it struck me as a good question for the contemporary Republican party.
Whether any of this is scripturally accurate or doctrinally sound in LDS terms, I'm clearly in no position to say. But taken simply as a sword-and-sandal romance-adventure, the movie is pleasant, using breathtaking New York State locations to (mostly) belie its budget limitations. The first half is sort of slow going, and the New-Agey music gets a little oppressive at times, but when we finally get to the confrontation between hero and villains, it's pretty satisfying. It's certainly no sillier in any way that I could see than, say, Conan the Barbarian or the Lord of the Rings flicks. And it's at least as heartfelt.
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I used to love this movie. Kevin Sorbo being a complete assbag in every possible way since has really tainted it.
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Some Ladies, who were really aged gracefully in Hollywood. 😉😘
Jamie Lee Curtis
Susan Sarandon
Kelly McGillis
Phoebe Cates
Michelle Pfeiffer
Catherine O'Hara
Carrie Fisher
Lindsay Wagner
But, also in my list are (without a gif or a pic).:
Bridget Fonda
Lauren Bacall
Linda Gray
Bo Derek
Victoria Principal
Stockard Channing
Annie Potts
Delta Burke
Kate Burton
Karina Lombard
Julia Ormond
Madchen Amick
Sherrilynn Fenn
Gina Gershon
etc.
😉😘👏
[The list is endless, but these are all examples.]
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