#just to actually connect with ppl who are likeminded and to feel like im at least trying to do smth

[bunnihearted]

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#ok imma try to not go crazy with this rant and keep it short and just write most in my actual diary #but with this election.... im fkn floored. this really was the last drop. i feel depressed af #borderline sewerslidal tbh.... i might sound dramatic but there's been so many things weighing me dowm lately and this was too much #so the extreme right will have power over swe for the next 4 years. also a straight up n4zi party is the 2nd biggest in sweden.... #and that is just bad. awful. horrible. i have always hated the right but this is worse than ever #it will mean a lot of bad changes in general. and swe that has mostly stayed a good more socialist country.. :( #im just so fucking stressed abt it. they're just straight up terrible people #they will go for more nuclear plants. they will make the healthcare system worse. they're anti wellfare culture and socialism in general #they are horrible to immigrants women poor people and lgbtq. rightist in general are greedy and egotistical ppl but this is on steroids #also the racism and naz1sm. im scared of what dåthey'll do and what will happen to all foreigners and immigrants #i fkn HATE that i have avpd bc i just wanna be politically active and join the youth groups/organizations they have #i mean for the leftist party im voting for #just to actually connect with ppl who are likeminded and to feel like im at least trying to do smth #fuck i hate that i have this worthless avpd brain so muchhhhhh fuck it #i feel so lonely and scared and disconnected from society and i just really want to get engaged but idk if i can

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Is it bad if I know I'm probably bi but I just. Don't feel like the label is worth it? I just honestly want to live my life and date whoever without worrying about labels because I am so sick of the baggage ppl in and out of the "community" demonize and fetishize us with. But if you just say you're queer people try to define you anyway by who you're dating and I just. I'm so tired. I just want to date whoever and let ppl assume whatever, and not care. And I totally get why this label (Part 1)

(Part 2) I get why the bi label matters to ppl but I honestly just want to say f*ck it and not label myself. I know that's not a popular opinion but I'm so fucking tired of feeling lowkey social pressure in some bi spaces to be super out and loud and advocate for yourself constantly. Like I get why it's important for someone to but sometimes ppl act like saying you don't like labels is a copout and I'm like I DONT CARE. IM TIRED LET ME JUST LIVE. Idk just wondering if anyone else feels this.

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Hi anon. I can only offer my opinion as someone who doesn't exactly feel that way so make of it what you will, but labels are meant to be used because they're useful or helpful in some way, whether that's in figuring out your identity, finding a community of likeminded people or however else it is helpful or useful. If you don't find these labels useful or helpful in some way you don't have to use them. It's not a copout to just not really care as long as you're not acting like nobody else should be using labels either (like that whole "Labels are for soup cans not people!" mindset, which is wrong).

Also I think there is a difference between just being something and actually identifying with the term or label in some meaningful way. Like for example I am technically non binary but the term non binary means nothing to me, I don't like it or connect with it and it's in no way any part of my identity just because technically it does apply to me. By this I mean really you can be technically bi without actually using the label bi if that label doesn't really mean anything to you, and that isn't inherently wrong or bad.

I think there is a difference too between people not wanting to call themselves bi because of internalised biphobia and thinking the word and what it represents is wrong or 'dirty' or something and people just being completely uninterested in using any labels for themselves. Internalised biphobia is harmful because that is about denying or suppressing attraction or having a lot of inner conflict and so on, things that can do someone a lot of damage, but just not being interested in using particular labels is not bad. Although nothing you do or say is probably ever going to stop other people making incorrect assumptions or trying to foist terms onto you (based on, as you say, who you're dating for example), that often happens whether you call yourself bi (or whatever) or not. For some people, that is probably going to be a factor in why they actually do choose to use a specific label and why they may even be very 'loud' about it - to correct other people, to rebel against what other people try to foist onto them, pretty much just out of spite even towards people who keep on trying to tell them 'you're not really X you're just Y'. But that doesn't fit everyone. Nobody is obligated to be really 'loud' about their sexuality whatever it is. There is nothing wrong with keeping things more low key or private if that's how you like it.

It is deeply unfortunate that we still live in a time where being bi is still so commonly either erased or denied, or else very commonly fetishised or demonised or demeaned in some way and it is terrible if things like that are putting some people off actually calling themselves bi. If that is what is going on to some degree with you and it is other people and their prejudices that have made you reluctant to label yourself bi then I'm sorry that others have made you feel that way and if that is a factor in how you feel towards the label then I hope things do get better for you in that regard.

But then there are people who just genuinely don't care what other people say or do, it makes no difference to the labels they do (or don't) use. Ultimately you do what is right for you really. You can label yourself how you want to and if that includes not using labels at all that's entirely your decision and there's nothing wrong with that so long as you're happy.

-Tiger