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#just saying “now they have one billion star destroyers with death star lasers and a bigger death star” is not an effective power creep
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The fact that the resistance wasn’t immediately destroyed is the most unrealistic thing in the sequel trilogy. And their enemy was the First Order, so that says a lot. They’re very committed to moral purity in their battle strategy. When Finn tries to sacrifice himself to blow up the canon about to kill everyone Rose just ??? stops him?? because its ‘not about destroying the empire its about saving the one you love’. This is the polar opposite of Andors rebels, who are totally willing to merc people they worked with and knowingly let soldiers die, for the greater good. If you put the Resistance, led by an Admiral who doesn’t inform her troops of her plans even when there isn’t any security risk, against the miniscule Rebel Effort in Andor, the Resistance would be burned to the ground in less than 48 hours, and the only reason it’s that long is because poe is there.
And don’t get me started on a show off between the First Order and the ISB. Dedra would put Kylo Rens head on her mantle.
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“Rise of Skywalker” Questions
How did Palpatine survive the events of Return of the Jedi?
Where has be been for the last 30 years?
How did he build an entire fleet of Death Star Destroyers?
Where did he get the technology to build a thousand super lasers?
If he’s been pulling the strings this whole time, why did he bother making Star Killer Base after the first two Death Stars failed the exact same way?  A fleet of super laser star destroyers is objectively better and more useful.
Why did he build all the Death Star Destroyers on a planet they can’t leave by themselves?
Why can’t they navigate away from the planet without a radio tower?
When they turn off the radio tower, the head ship of the fleet is able to navigate for them anyway, so why can’t they all just do that and navigate for themselves?
What happened to the one Death Star Destroyer that blew up that random planet?  Did it return to get stuck with the rest of fleet on the planet, or is it still out on the galaxy?
Why did none of the fleet escape the planet during the battle?  Surely one or two or ten could have managed to navigate away (Poe says they couldn’t tell which was was up due to the magnetic field of the Sith planet, but, like, up is up, the sky is up, it’s really easy to fly up and away from a planet, just point your engines towards it and turn them on; ALSO a billion rebel ships made it all the way to said planet, so why couldn’t a single Sith ship leave it?)
When did Palpatine have a son?  With who?
Why was his son a “nobody” instead of the heir apparent to the Empire?
Was his son part of the Rebellion?  The Resistance?  Neither?  Rey was born in 15 BBY and her parents disappeared like 10-ish years later, but her dad is clearly older than 25, so he must have been born between Episodes 3 and 4.
Was he force sensitive too?  Why did Palpatine have his son killed and keep searching for his granddaughter instead?  Wouldn’t his son still be a valuable asset?  Rey’s mom told the random Sith assassin that Rey is definitely not on Jakku, so why didn’t Palpatine look on Jakku?
Who was Lor San Tekka in the Force Awakens?  Did he know who Rey was and guard over her like Obi Wan did to Luke?  Kylo has apparently known him for a long time (”look how old you’ve become”), so did he know Luke and Leia during the original trilogy?  Did he know Palpatine’s son?
In the books and video games, it is revealed that Palpatine sabotaged the Emprie after his death (search “the Contingency” and “Operation: Cinder” on Wookieepedia)  Why?  Why did he do this?  Why did he cripple his empire if he survived and continued pulling strings behind the scenes?  Is it because Disney is making this up as they go along and forgot to reconcile their new idea with their old idea from a few years ago?
Luke says that Leia knew Rey was a Palpatine the whole time, so did Luke know about her dad?  Did he ever try to recruit the son of the Emperor to the light side of the force, or did he just reject his dad because he was a million year old evil scrotum?
Palpatine says he impersonated Vader to try and lure Ben Solo to the dark side.  If Palpatine pretended to be Darth Vader, why didn’t the real ghost of Anakin come to his grandson and intervene?  Why did Anakin let Ben think he was evil?  Anakin appeared before Luke at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi,’ he appeared to Rey in this film as a disembodied voice, why didn’t he appear to his own grandson?
Palpatine created Snoke; was Snoke the product of his “Darth-Plagueis-midichlorian-create-life-using-the-force” technique he hinted about in that meme everyone has stopped caring about Episode 3?  If Anakin is Space Jesus (virgin-born chosen one), does that make Snoke the Space Anti-Christ?  If so, why did Snoke die like a bitch?
Darth Maul got cut in half but came back in the cartoon with robot legs and this was carried over into canon when Disney took over, so he showed up in another cartoon and then Solo; could Snoke have come back with robot legs?
Rey impales Kylo but then force-heals him; why didn’t Obi Wan force-heal Qui Gon Jinn after Darth Maul impaled him?  Disney just keeps making things up with no regard for continuity because they know the average consumer doesn’t care and that the opinions of butt hurt fanboys like me don’t matter because we keep shelling out money to see the franchise no matter how much we nitpick and complain...
Poe’s parents were part of the rebellion and Leia is a surrogate mom to him; at what point did he become a drug dealer spice smuggler for the criminal underground?  Did he leave the resistance to become a scoundrel then come back, or was he raised a scoundrel and then joined the good side because he was compelled to do so?  If the latter, doesn’t that just give him the exact same story arc as Han Solo in both Solo and A New Hope?
Where did the berries go after Kylo Ren spilled them in his room?  They show the audience that Rey’s and Kylo’s surroundings are linked when they have their dates visions, but the berries are gone in the next shot.  Also, did he leave Darth Vader’s helmet down in the village after Rey accidentally teleported it to him, or did he bring it back with him?  He was able to snatch the necklace AND the lightsaber from Rey through these visions, so the berries and the helmet were real and not just force projections.  (this one is a joke, I don’t really care)
Is Finn secretly force sensitive too?  I’d be totally down for that; I’ve wanted that ever since 2015 when we saw the first teaser of him holding a lightsaber!  He sensed Rey was hurt AND knew exactly what ship to attack because he “had a feeling.”  Is this going to go anywhere, or was it just a plot device so he could find the one ship he needed out of the entire fleet?
Where was Lando for the last 10-15 years (however long it was since Kylo’s fall and Luke’s exile)?  Where was Wedge Antilles who appeared in exactly one shot and then never again?  Where was Nien Nunb and why hasn’t his name ever been said on screen?  Speaking of names, I think Poe was the first person to ever actually say Snap Wexley’s name on screen, but even then only his nickname and not until he was shot out of the air and exploded.
Why did Zorri Bliss change her mind to much?  First she wants to kill Poe and sell out his friends, then she wants to run away with him and gives him her MacGuffin so he can slip onto the enemy ship, then she saves his ass during the final battle, then when he gives her the bedroom eyes she shakes her head to turn him down.  Why is she here?
How did Maz Kanata get Luke’s lightsaber?  How does Rey have the lightsaber after it was destroyed in The Last Jedi?  Canon nerd tech manuals say that kyber crystals are super important and that broken ones don’t work right (Kylo’s blade is all fizzly because his crystal is cracked), so how did Rey repair it?  Where did Rey get the crystal for her yellow saber?  I heard someone say that it’s actually white and it’s supposed to be a combination of the classic blue, green and red saber colors, but she didn’t have Luke’s green saber, she had two blue sabers and Kylo threw his red one away.
And most importantly
Where is Baby Yoda?  Surely he has to be Little Kid Yoda by now; it’s been like 20 years since the events of The Mandalorian.
I don’t even enjoy this franchise anymore.  I know my opinion doesn’t matter, so I’m just gonna stop giving it.  I’m done with Star Wars media.  I’m not gonna watch it anymore; no anthology films, no more saga episodes (because we all KNOW x, xi and xii are in the works no matter what Disney says), no streaming service shows, no cartoons, no books, no video games (I never played the video games anyway), no theme park rides, no more moichendising
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youremyonlyhope · 4 years
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The Last Jedi
Here we go. The most controversial Star Wars movie ever (unless Rise of Skywalker has reviews that are just as mixed. I haven’t read any so I don’t know how it’s been received yet.) I actually really really enjoyed the Last Jedi, but I haven’t rewatched it since I saw it in theaters.
Also, unrelated, but literally just a few hours ago I met Oscar Isaac. I was doing a caroling event where I work, and he came by with his son to watch. During one of our breaks, he asked if his son could try the microphone and he held him up so he could whisper and sing stuff into the mic. It was adorable.
I seemed to be the only person who recognized who he was, though one of my co-workers said he had thought so too but he wasn’t sure until I confirmed it. So I went up to Oscar and said hi, asked if he was Oscar Isaac, shook his hand, and thanked him for coming. He says that it was great and that his son loves to sing.
I always joked that I’d bump into Oscar one day since he lives in Brooklyn, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen. And not while I’m wearing a Star Wars shirt and Star Wars socks (which he obviously couldn’t see since I was bundled up in a coat and a scarf and boots but whatever). And definitely not the day before I’m supposed to see the Rise of Skywalker.
I’m still freaking out oh my god. Ok. Time to rewatch the Last Jedi.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... This was the first Star Wars movie I’d seen in theaters in like 12 years at this point. Seeing those words on a giant screen again was amazing. “Certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.” I love that line. I love any and all comparisons of Luke to hope. Yes I am biased. But also, restoring the spark is exactly he does in the end so yes, I love it. It’s just now hitting me that we’re picking up exactly where we left off. Having 1 night between the two movies is every different than having 2 years. ...Was that whatsherface from Game of Thrones, Catelyn’s creepy sister? (IMDB says yes) *BB8 beeps* “Happy beats here buddy, come on.” BB8 sort of said the thing! Also, OH MY GOD I JUST MET OSCAR ISAAC AND NOW HERE HE IS ON MY SCREEN WHAT THE HELL. Was today even real? Oh General Hugs. “Skinny guy. Kinda pasty.” Knowing Oscar and Domnhall are friends makes this better. Oh BB8. Very honorable of Billie Lourd’s Lieutenant Connix to make sure she’s in the last ship leaving the base so everyone else leaves before her. I forgot about the chain reaction of bombs destroying their own Resistance ships... You know, Paige dying while dropping the last of the bombs was already emotional. Rewatching it after you know she’s Rose’s sister makes it worse. First Binary Sunset of the movie. General Hugs has a very good upset face that makes me not feel bad for him at all. More like I want to punch him. Snoke can use the Force across the galaxy... forgot about that. I realized I didn’t mention this in the last one, but I remember the crew complaining that when they filmed the end of Force Awakens it was a cloudy day, but then when they went back to the island for TLJ it was super sunny. And now that it’s been pointed out, I noticed it immediately. Luke throwing the lightsaber. I can’t remember if I was spoiled for this but I feel like when I watched it, I wasn’t that thrown off by it. Something else I didn’t mention at the end of Force Awakens is that I LOVE this set. The stone houses are amazing. Oh porgs. Also, that porg looking into the lightsaber always gives me anxiety. The first words we hear Luke say in 40 years are an annoyed “Go away.” which at least is less whiney than the Tosche Station. Oh Chewie’s like “DUDE. WE NEED YOU.” “Wait... where’s Han?” Awww. Throwing in a little Vader’s theme in there. More temper tantrums. People getting mad at Luke calling a lightsaber a laser sword (in a purposefully mocking way) even though George Lucas himself called them that in some interviews. Yes, it’s not a laser sword, but Luke is trying to show how ridiculous he thinks the idea of him taking down everything is by calling a lightsaber that. I remember being like “Luke... no let’s not just milk that thing... oh ew” I do love the shot of Luke using the giant stick to cross to the other cliff and kill the fish. God that’s a steep hill. “No one’s from nowhere.” “Jakku.” “Alright that is pretty much nowhere.” That’s funny. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” Remember when that line in the trailer made the fandom literally break down? I love knowing that behind the scenes, Carrie had to slap Oscar a billion times. Also, I do not blame Leia at all. So many people were mad about Leia and Holdo demoting Poe, but Poe was too fearless in that moment. Yes, he destroyed the ship and it worked out, but they lost so many people and they already didn’t have many to begin with. It was worth it, but at a very high cost. So I don’t blame her. Heyyyyyy it’s that girl from that Black Mirror episode and what was that other show? Chewing Gum or something? (IMDB says yes it’s Michaela Coel) See and Poe’s already learning a little by asking permission. Of course... later on he doesn’t ask permission... but whatever. Leia’s Theme... causing me pain. Oh, Kylo didn’t kill his mom. We’re supposed to be happy about that? The bar is on the ground. The utter horror I felt the first time the control room was destroyed and Leia was pulled into space. Oh I love the moment when Leia flies in. Because I’d heard that in the books and comics, we get to explore Leia’s Force abilities and stuff but we don’t get it in the movies besides “I feel that Luke’s in trouble.” Which sucks, because she is the “other” if Luke didn’t work out, so she’s just as strong as Luke if she got trained. They should have just trained both kids honestly, why did they pick the boy? Not saying Obi-Wan and Yoda are sexist... but they’re probably sexist. Also, foreshadowing. I actually noticed the hologram of the ship and Leia flying through this time. Oh Chewie. I like the porg that literally has his jaw dropped in horror. Knowing now that the dice were kind of a symbol of Kira (was that Emilia Clarke’s character?) and Han’s relationship makes me not like them as much. Still, cute throwback that they’re still on the Falcon. We can just ignore they weren’t there in Force Awakens (I kept an eye out and didn’t see them) The way Luke laughed when he said “R2!” I just... my heart. “Nothing can make me change my mind” *R2 plays the Leia hologram* I literally just went “AWWWW” out loud because I forgot that that’s why R2 started playing it. Oh my heart. That hurt the first time. Luke standing over Rey, but offering to help her. Parallels. Oh Admiral Ackbar. I love Holdo’s dress. I love the draping. Someone teach me how to make it. “Thank you for making me aware.” Yeah Poe, she already knows. Stop mansplaining. This is literally a case of mansplaining, why would Poe think he’d have to explain to a commander that there’s no fuel? Yeah it’s a little harsh, but is Holdo wrong? All of these fanboys complain about Canto Bight, but forget that it was Poe’s idea. Then they go and say Holdo was too mean should have put Poe in charge. Guys. Poe’s impulsive. We love him, but he’s the ultimate Gryffindor with no fear and will just do anything without considering consequences. I do wish Holdo had been more open like “I have a plan. You don’t need to know all the parts of it. Just let me do what I need to, ok?” instead of “Just follow my orders.” but still. Oh poor Rose. “Doing talking....” Oh she’s so cute. “I’ve had to stun 3 people trying to use this escape pod.” We love a girl who can fight. Yeah. Once again. Not mad at Rose. Finn does have some selfish tendencies, he’s well meaning but ultimately selfish (or at least, only thinking of Rey). So I do not blame Rose for stunning him.
And now I will take a nap since I have to go to a show tonight. And then I will finish the last 3/4-ish of the movie when I get home later.
Annnnd I’m back!
See. Rose has good reason to be mad at deserters. Ok so it wasn’t Poe’s idea to go to the Star Destroyer it was Finn’s. I will give him that. But still Poe went along with it. “That... wasn’t exactly my...” Oh 3PO. I wish Maz had had a bigger scene. More Lupita please. I have one question: from what angle is this hologram filmed? And how does the camera follow her? I guess it’s multiple hologram cameras, but still, it followed her as she rolled and ran around. Also, did Finn call Maz or did Poe call her? Because as far as we know, only Finn knows her. It seemed like they both had the idea to call her, but that Poe had it first. Did Finn tell Poe about Maz? I’m glad they showed Finn handing Poe the binary tracker thing, since for a second I was like “What if Rey had popped up next to Finn on the Star Destroyer?” I’m glad Rey’s first instinct is to shoot Kylo. “Can you see my surroundings?” “You’re gonna pay for what you did.” “I can’t see yours.” Why do I remember that line so vividly? Why does it make me feel so unsettled? Rey, my sweet Rey, I wish you had just told Luke that you saw Kylo. I love Luke’s explanation of the Force. And him messing with Rey was funny. I love when Rey’s reaching out and feeling life, death, peace, violence, etc. And I love Luke saying the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi, because it doesn’t. The Jedi failed years ago. “You didn’t even try to stop yourself.” Luke’s horrified. But also, Rey’s just like an extreme version of Luke. Yoda knew that Luke’s emotions could make him vulnerable to the dark side, Rey’s already vulnerable. Yeah, I don’t blame Luke for being scared of Rey after he feels like this is Ben all over again. Oh my god. I love the porg that has a metal piece over its head. That actually made me laugh out loud. Poor Chewie.
I just had to refresh tumblr because my draft wasn’t saving. It brought me back to my dashboard. Where there was a spoiler for the new movie and it wasn’t tagged. PLEASE tag your spoilers people.
The water hitting Kylo still confuses me. Say what you will about the Canto Bight plot... the costumes are AMAZING. The costumes literally make the whole side plot worth it to me. Literally I was just in awe by all the costumes during every single scene. And the set! The set’s fantastic too! I literally just paused every single second to take in all of the costumes. Do I care if the Canto Bight trip ended up pointless? Nope! Because it gave me some of Star Wars’ best costumes. Oh... to be an extra in the Canto Bight scene... Just show up... And put on a beautiful outfit... And do nothing else but pretend to drink, talk, and gamble... That’s the dream. Oh hi Mark Hamill! That was cute that they let him voice that little thing. I remember noticing the thing and being like “...is he important?” and nope, it’s just Mark doing an extra voice. Oh I love the Fathiers. Aww and it’s the little Force sensitive boy. I have thoughts about that kid that I can get into later. The way BB8 jingles with the coins. I love it.
Rey: *Does a move with her stick* Rey: *Does the same exact move with the lightsaber* Fanboys: She’s too good too fast! Mary Sue!
As I said throughout all of the Force Awakens, she’s just applying the skills she already had. If anything, a lightsaber’s easier since it’s half the length and she doesn’t have to worry about the back of it hitting her. LOL, remember when we thought this shot was an epic shot of Luke training her? Good times. Oh that poor fish nun. Everything Luke says about the Jedi is true (also did I not say they failed earlier in the post? Luke agrees with me). Rey’s right that a Jedi got Ani to come back from the dark side, but the Jedi’s system enabled him to turn in the first place. Soooooo yeah. Oh Luke. Don’t blame yourself. Kylo was already basically gone. Sure, seeing his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber definitely didn’t help... but it’s not the only thing that made him turn. Who is this captain of the medical ship? He looks familiar. (IMDB says he’s Danny Sapani. I probably recognized him from the Crown) Oh BB8. Finn, did you learn nothing from Rey? Put the cover back on the vent! Awww the Fathiers have such sad eyes... I love the Resistance ring. Can I buy one? Ok. The shot of the bubble egg lady singing felt like it was much longer the first time, but it’s really only a split second. I. LOVE. THE. CANTO. BIGHT. SET. I know it’s a real town in like Italy or somewhere near the Mediterranean. I want to go. I love it. I love that the first thing Luke does when he decides to use the Force again is to seek out Leia. Oh poor Adam became a meme after this. He just has a very wide and bulky body, ok? God Luke looks so scary in Kylo’s flashback. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” That reflection scene is so visually stunning. So in a way, it’s like Luke is failing Rey like he failed Ben. He’s not helping her in the way she needs, so she’s being lured by the dark side instead. I love the walls falling around Luke. “Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren?” Rey, he already told you earlier that he believes it’s his fault, so the answer from him is yes. I can’t remember if we hear this story of Luke and Kylo one more time after this or not. “Then he’s our last hope.” Ok ew. No. Kylo is not allowed to be compared to hope. Only Luke, Leia, or Obi-Wan can be. Oh for a second I thought that torch was a lightsaber. YODA!!!!! I think I had been spoiled for Yoda showing up. It was definitely still exciting though. “The sacred Jedi texts!” Oh Luke. Oh memes. Not as whiney as I remembered. “But that library contained nothing that the girl Rey does not already possess.” Because Yoda knows she stole the books. Oh Yoda. I love Yoda. Oh Rose. Ok, so I will give it to Poe that at this moment it doesn’t seem like Holdo has a good plan. Abandoning ship isn’t necessarily cowardly, but on the surface it does seem like it puts them in more danger. Literally earlier today I watched a video about the layout of the Millennium Falcon, and the escape pods were mentioned. And I thought to myself, wow that must be something from the novels since we’ve definitely never seen that in the movies. Welp... I was wrong... Rey’s in one now. I was about to be like “Do they not care that an escape pod just docked?” before I saw Kylo. LOL the iron coming down like a ship. I feel like I remember being completely terrified when Rey stepped in front of Snoke. Oh BB8. Bumping into stuff. I remember being super relieved that DJ (has he told us this is his name yet? I can’t remember) gave back the medallion. Captain Phasma! Hey girl hey! Leia shooting Poe is still funny to me. Also Lieutenant Billie Connix is smart.  I love the scene of Holdo and Leia saying goodbye. Also, Holdo’s purple hair with her bright blue eyes is super striking. Good choice. Snoke puts down the lightsaber. Unknowingly sealing his fate. Literally when Snoke reveals he connected their minds, I was like OF COURSE. Because the whole time I’m like neither of them are strong enough to do this. “She was more interested in protecting the light than she was seeming like a hero.” See. And that’s the flaw in both Poe and Finn. And Rey to an extent. They’re thinking about the big picture, but in context of smaller things like seeming like a hero, saving Rey, saving Kylo, etc. But Holdo’s thinking of only the big picture. I knew DJ betrayed them, I just forgot how badly.
And here’s another annoyance (which I was sorta trying to touch on earlier). Everyone hates the Canto Bight plot, yet they complain about Holdo trying to take charge. If Poe just let Holdo take charge and ignored Finn and Rose’s idea, then her plan would have been a complete success. No Canto Bight, no DJ to betray them, all the transports make it to Crait unnoticed, and the First Order eventually destroys a ship that’s empty except for Holdo. They complain about Holdo, but don’t think about the fact that Holdo could have prevented another plot they hated if the main characters had just listened to her.
And then Snoke hits Rey and literally puts the lightsaber back to where it will kill him. Ok literally I just misread a caption that said “Lord Vader” as “Lord Voldemort” and I was very confused. Taking a second to say that I love this set of Snoke’s throne room. Been thinking it forever, but Kylo picking up the lightsaber off the ground and seeing the reflection in the smooth red floor is amazing. Kylo igniting the lightsaber through Snoke is amazing. Also, I typed “Ben igniting” before literally freezing for a second and being like “...ok that’s a lot to unpack” I guess when he does something good my brain thinks of him as Ben instead of Kylo. ALSO, arm #16 and #17, I love that Snoke’s arms were cut off too in true Star Wars fashion. And I am VERY excited to see this fight scene again. I told myself not to pause at all during the Kylo and Rey team up fight, but I paused literally a second into it because Binary Sunset yes.
And my idiot brother and my mom are texting in the family group chat so it’s popping up on my screen throughout this scene. Ugh.
All of these red knight weapons are so cool. And I forgot about the one that gets chopped up... Oh my god one is a sword that transforms into a whip. LOVE. IT. And I love the quick lightsaber ignite through the head. Love it. Woah how is there still 44 minutes? I remember this battle being much closer to the end. I was wondering when the red walls went away, but I rewinded and saw that they had been slowly burning away after Rey made something hit them. Nice touch.
Ugh my brother and mom will not stop texting.
“You have no place in this story.” Wow Kylo, harsh. Oh shoot I forgot about the lightsaber breaking until they started their Force tug of war with it. I’d always wondered what would happen if someone lightsped through something... I want to say that I realized what she was doing before they told us, but now I realize that they basically told us what she would do when the First Order guy said “they’re preparing to hyperspeed.” so I guess I just caught on to the obvious hints.
God that moment still gives me chills. The silence. The way it sort of goes black and white. The multiple angles. So good.
I know for a fact that I spent the rest of the movie from this point on with my hands over my mouth in a constant stake of shock/fear/anxiety. Oh BB8. Some people thought this was ridiculous. But I had just spent the last few months rewatching the prequels before seeing this, and compared to the stuff R2 does, BB8 clumsily controlling a walker is nothing. Oh how I love Gwendoline Christie. I FORGOT THAT WE SAW HER EYE IN THE MASK. I hope Phasma survived. She’s so awesome. Ok my quality is like horrendous right now so I’m gonna refresh. LOL I FORGOT ABOUT GENERAL HUGS NEARLY ATTEMPTING TO KILL KYLO. Oh I forgot how much I love Crait as a set location. OH AND THE ICE DOG THINGS! LOVE THEM! Poe petting BB8 when he comes back kills me. I like those space age two person laptops. “People believe in Leia.” *Binary Sunset plays* My heart. Ok for a second I was like “This first person camera is like a war movie” and then it turns and we see the trench and I’m like “...ok... ok fine but that was very literal.” The red footsteps. Just... guys this set is so AMAZING. Ugh, these red streaks of dust behind them are so amazing. And when Finn passes in front of the camera, it gets covered in the dust and blurs part of the lens. Just like the Rathtar goo in the Force Awakens. I wonder if that’s going to be like... the thing of the sequels. One shot that has the camera lens partially covered by something. Also, I just wasted time trying to figure out if there’s an official name for that or not... oh well. The winding stripes left behind as they weave around... just... amazing. YEAH! GO CHEWIE! GO REY! Oh my god I forgot about the porg roaring. “Oh, they HATE that ship!” I’M DEAD. Look at the salt and how it forms the crystals in the trench. I love it. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHOT OF THE CAVE FULL OF THE RED SALT. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I remember when the trailer had the first shot of the gorilla walkers, and I didn’t notice at first that there were normal AT-ATs next to them, and then I realized these things were twice as big as AT-ATs and I was horrified. See, and now Poe has learned that you can’t always be a hero and is making a good decision. I forgot about Finn’s speeder literally melting as he gets closer. I don’t understand the people who were mad that Rose stopped Finn. I for one was HORRIFIED at just the thought of Finn dying this way and thankful she stopped him. “That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” The kiss is pointless but I love the line and sentiment behind it. Oh god. Ok. Here come the emotions. Binary Sunset is playing. I was a wreck. And a little of Han and Leia’s Love Theme as she sees the dice. I remember actually noticing that in the theaters and half-sobbing. Oh god the forehead kiss. Oh and he winks at 3PO as he walks by. My heart. This is the specific shot of the gorilla walkers and the AT-ATs in a line that freaked me out. That shot of Luke standing up against all the First Order walkers and ships. Amazing. That shoulder brush though. Kylo’s so dumb, he literally just watched that lightsaber get destroyed, he HELPED destroy it. He should have known something was up, it couldn’t have been repaired that quickly. Purposeful shot of Luke’s feet not moving the salt. That Matrix back bend though. “I will have killed the last Jedi.” He said the title. Also, is that the only time it’s said? Because they say it a lot in Force Awakens but I don’t think so yet in this movie.. “And I will not be the last Jedi.” Ok so now it’s said again by Luke. Purposeful shot of Kylo’s shoe leaving a footprint as he runs to Luke. I’m pretty sure I probably shrieked when he tried to slice Luke in half.
I just now remembered that I’d actually kind of wondered if he’d be a Force projection or something when he first showed up. Because I’d just watched Return of the Jedi like a week earlier and saw Obi-Wan do it, so I wondered if Luke was doing it too. Especially when Poe said Luke was distracting the First Order. It passed my mind and was confirmed when Kylo couldn’t hit him. And here’s where I started to feel like my world was crumbling...
Oh god. My eyes are wet. It hurts. But when I watched it the first time, I really felt like my world was absolutely falling a part and ending forever while I watched Luke die. With the stupid binary sunset in front of him just like when he was a teenager and when he was a baby. One of the first things he ever saw was the binary sunset. I was like “This is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I’m not completely in pain and dying.” That shot from above of Kylo with the stormtroopers, mirroring a shot from the prequels of Ani. Nice. So do they still have that connection even if Snoke’s dead?
HEY! Hey. Those dice were still visible to Kylo even after Luke was dead... was Leia Force projecting them to Kylo? It wouldn’t take as much work as doing it to everyone else at once from lightyears away. One person, your son, would be easier. So maybe... maybe Leia’s the one continuing the projection of the dice. I’m gonna stick with that theory thanks.
Awww BB8 asked Rey about his antenna, just like when they first met. Remember when people were like “Are Poe and Rey gonna be a thing?!?!?” and of course I’d much prefer that over Reylo thanks. The books! Somehow, that obvious shot of the books goes over so many people’s heads. So many complaints about the books getting burned, when they literally show us that Rey saved them. I had never noticed the bunks in the Millennium Falcon either until I saw that video earlier, and I’m glad I got to actually see one in use since Rose is sleeping in one.
Oh GOD the entirety of the Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon... that is NOT good.
I LOVE the scene of the kids retelling the story of Luke. I must have already gone in depth about this 2 years ago, but I love it. Luke became a legend in the end. He didn’t necessarily want to be one, but he’s become one. It was exactly what was in the opening scroll, he restored the spark of hope. That subtle use of the Force by that little boy. With Binary Sunset playing. And I love that last shot of him holding the broom up like a lightsaber.
I nearly forgot that they put in “In loving memory of our princess, Carrie Fisher” at the end. That’s what got me to finally cry. 40 straight minutes of covering my mouth in anxiety, then feeling like my world was crashing down around me as Luke died. Having it dedicated to Carrie made me just start sobbing so hard. Watch that happen again tomorrow.
I remember when I left the theater, at first I was like “What if the boys is Rey’s brother?!” but then... I realized that a huge point of the movie went over my head for a second there.
The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey’s parents are, whether it’s Obi-Wan or Luke or Leia or even Palpatine, that they were mad when Kylo said they were no one. But like... guys... not every single Force user is related to the Skywalkers or anyone else we already know. There were hundreds of Jedi in the prequels, because anyone can be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan’s parents were nobody, Qui-Gon’s parents were nobody, Mace’s parents were nobody. They didn’t come from long lines of Force users (at least in movie lore), BECAUSE THE JEDI WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. The Skywalkers aren’t even a long line, it’s just 3 generations at this point. So literally none of the Jedi of the past came from powerful Force users (or at least from ones who got the chance to become Jedi) since that literally goes against the code.
Luke found at least 11 other Force sensitive kids to train alongside Ben, their parents were all definitely nobodies since he’s the last Jedi. Ben is an anomaly, Luke and Leia are anomalies, the Jedi don’t have kids! The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey could be related to, that they forgot that for millennia the individual Jedi were not related to anyone.
Anyone can be Force sensitive. Anyone can be a Jedi. Rey is an example of that. That little boy is an example of that. That’s why I love that the little Force sensitive boy was the final shot of the movie. He was meant to reassure and remind us after the Rey parentage reveal that anyone can end up Force sensitive. They don’t need a famous/powerful parent. They can come from anywhere and be anyone. And I love that that’s the final note of this movie.
Some people were not reassured. Some people couldn’t handle the idea that Rey’s powerful just because she’s Rey, not because she’s someone’s daughter. She HAS to be related to someone to be that powerful, right? But every Jedi before her who was just as powerful wasn’t related to anyone, so why does she have to be?
ANYWAY! I was actually worried over the last 2 years that I’d rewatch The Last Jedi and not like it as much as I did in theaters. I still like it a lot. Even the Canto Bight scenes get redeemed by the costumes and the set being so amazing. But I love the message of don’t be a hero, this is bigger than just you. And I love the message that even if you’re “nobody” from “nowhere” you could still be Force Sensitive and you could still be a Jedi. I love Luke’s send off, I love that he does end up reigniting the spark and being a beam of hope again. I love it.
And I’m excited to see the Rise of Skywalker tomorrow.
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headlesssamurai · 6 years
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Your thoughts on the new Star Wars?
[Disclaimer: The following is sarcasm targeted at social trends and contrarians the world-over. If it offends you, buck it up and have a fucking sense of humor.]
A Completely Serious Breakdown OfStar Wars: The Last Jedi
by Anita Sarkeesian & Rachel Maddow
To begin, let’s just say the best format in which to write anything on the internets is by breaking it down into a comprehensive list for no goddamn reason, other than maybe the idea that lots of people like to read lists or something because it feels a lot less like reading, and lots of people dislike reading. Right? Right.Thus, the following is a list of reasons why Star Wars: The Last Jedi is an atrocity bordering on Nagasaki levels of horror.WARNING: The following will contain spoilers and angsty disappointment.
1. Not enough transgender charactersThis one is clearly a no-brainer. Every respectable sell-out of a Hollywood screenwriter ought to know by now that their movie should contain at least one transgender, one gender-fluid, one gender neutral, and one tri-sexual character, if not more. And this is especially true in bombastic, overblown blockbusters. It disgusts me to see them disregard such a large percentage of their viewership. I know they tried to placate us with the pink-haired drag queen admiral who takes command after Leia is incapacitated, and the Asian kid who is running around with Finn the entire movie, but these characters seemed more like afterthoughts than anything else. To see them be so cavalier and conservative with their dramatis personae is just shameless.
2. It supports animal murderRight off the bat, we’re treated to a horrific scene in which Luke Skywalker, previously a shining beautiful example of a peaceful pacifist Zen master, is shown violently murdering an innocent fish with a barbed spear, then casually carrying the poor slaughtered animal back to his hut like a caveman. If that’s not enough, we later see Chewbacca, previously the most non-violent and docile character in the entire franchise, roasting a poor decapitated penguin on a spit over an open fire like some uncivilized neanderthal. Did he skin the creature while it was still alive? Perhaps we’ll never know, but it was clearly murdered with an intent to eat, and the Wookie carelessly roasts the creature’s remains in full view of its mournful cousins who must be wondering which of them will be next for bloody execution. This blatant disregard for the lives of the magical, peaceful animals of nature is truly horrifying. I can’t imagine how the filmmakers could be this vulgar. For achieving such advanced levels of technology, the people of this galaxy sure behave like feral savages.
3. Not enough wacky comedyI know there was a scene in which a confused elderly woman plays the general of an army, a riff on Karate Kid, an awkward reference to deep throating, a robot doing its best Solid Snake impression, a little kid getting mercilessly whipped by a character from a Pixar movie, Yoda acting like a weirdo again, furry anime creatures making cute noises, a guy getting unexpectedly electrocuted, enough bad dialogue to fill a Star Destroyer’s cargo hold, a fucking prank phone call scene in a Star Wars movie, and Benicio Del Toro’s face; but still. This movie could’ve used more comedy. This is made by Disney, after all, the same studio who gave us Guardians of the Fallacy, I mean every gag in that movie is just such a fucking knee-slapper, you know? Goddamn.
4. Too much explicit sexualityI was very glad to see that in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Disney decided to completely sever all of the vulgar and explicit sexuality depicted in every previous Star Wars film, particularly making certain this new portrayal of the galaxy was as sterile and sexless as a Dominican cloister. However, they’ve decided to flush that newfound dignity down the fucking toilet with this film. You all know what I’m talking about. There is a single scene in this movie where one character kisses another character on the lips. I know it’s just a little peck, but that’s just too much. This movie is vulgar, kids should not see it. Don’t even get me started on Kylo Ren’s sexy shirtlessness, Snoke’s pervy sex offender vibes, and all of Rey’s wet t-shirt scenes.
5. Not enough Han SoloHan Solo isn’t in this movie. ‘Nuff said.
6. Female heroine needs a manRemember Rey? That amazing, strong feminist icon from Episode VII who could do anything, fix a ship, fly a ship, shoot a gun, wield a laser sword, speak any language, and conquer anyone who stood in her path? Yeah, that girl decided to take a nap in this movie. You guessed it, she’s all fire and energy, yet the moment she sees Kylo Ren’s sweaty shirtless abs this new Rey can’t resist and falls head-over-heels for a guy who tried to slice her in half the first time they met. I mean, nothing comes of it, thank god! But seriously Disney? This is just lazy writing, and feminists everywhere should boycott this movie and fire-bomb any theater still showing it, along with all the homes of those who buy tickets to support it.
7. Too much talkingAgain, this movie was made by Disney, right? So why the hell is all the talking filled with so much boring character-driven dialogue, and not a goofy joke or lyrics in a sing-a-long? I cannot imagine how they expected to tap their drooling Marvel MCU fanbase with this many narrative-relevant scenes of people talking which don’t include funny gags or nerdy references from a Tony Stark-esque character. What a disappointment.
8. Not enough racial diversityI know there’s a Spanish-Puerto Rican man, a black man, a Guatemalan man, two Vietnamese women, a few white people, another black guy, a Wookie, the previously mentioned drag queen, a Mon Calamari, some other aliens visible when they go to Monte Carlo, and whatever alien that one dude was; but still. That’s only representing a few out of, like, hundreds of thousands of other ethnic groups all over the planet, not to mention the millions if not billions of alien species throughout the galaxy whose children have no characters to look up to in this movie. The distinct lack of Jews was most jarring for me, and I wouldn’t hazard to call this film anti-Semitic exactly, but it does make you pause for contemplation.
9. Glorification of violenceDo I really need to say this out loud? Holy shit. There is so much violence in this movie it makes me nauseous. People blowing people up, decapitation and dismemberment, savagely beating each other to death with clubs, animals being whipped, children being whipped (even if it’s funny, it’s still violent), casino patrons being violently trampled to death by stampeding anime creatures, bodies being engulfed by fiery explosions, explosions engulfing explosions, and at least two cases of fanatically intentional suicide which result in the violent death of hundreds if not thousands of others. All told, it’s one of the most violent movies released this year, with a body count that likely surpasses Man of Steel and the first Avengers film combined. How can audiences be this bloodthirsty? It’s just, I don’t know, sickening. You fandom kids should renounce yourselves and practice self-flagellation, as far as I’m concerned.
10. It supports child slave soldiersIn the very first scene, the character Poe Dameron supports a group of Resistance bombers who are trying to destroy a First Order dreadnought. We see the flight leader protecting the bombers is a young girl who couldn’t be older than twelve piloting an A-wing fighter and mercilessly blasting TIE fighters out of the sky. Forgetting the fact that war is already traumatic for fully grown adults, how is the Resistance okay with putting a child in harm’s way like that? I’m astounded. This is so controversial, I can’t believe it isn’t being hotly debated by mouthbreathers all over the internets.
11. Not enough lightsabersLikely the film’s biggest transgression of all. It’s a well-known fact that the mindless drooling fans who attend the cult gatherings known as Star Wars Celebrations and sew their own costumes to wear to premieres (only to turn around and hatefully review the film later on YouTube) only really want to see one thing: lots and lots of lightsaber battles. That’s the only thing Star Wars has going for it these days, after all. And this time nobody bangs a lightsaber against another lightsaber even once. Not once in the entire movie! Jesus, Joseph, and doggy-style Mary! What pointless drivel. I’m considering petitioning the studio for a bid to get my money back after seeing this farce. Don’t they know anything about what makes Star Wars great?
Parthian shotsDespite all of these many, many flaws, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi is not entirely without merit. There are some cool CGI effects in almost every scene, for one thing. Throughout the film we also learn some very valuable life lessons, such as:- Anime creatures have invulnerable faces that can smash through anything without the slightest injury.- Shields work best when gunfire is coming from very far away.- Any man in a position of power is either irredeemably evil or an impulsive and weak-willed incompetent fool.- All roads lead to failure.- The best way to be good at something is by sucking at it.- It’s okay for bystanders to be violently trampled to death so long as they’re rich.- All law enforcement officers are evil corrupt bastards.- Freeing captive animals is more important than freeing the slave children who tend to them.- And the only way to win a war is through the magical power of love, even if the enemy is in the process of blowing up your friends while you’re deliriously saying so.
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ramajmedia · 5 years
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Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker: 10 Things We Learned From D23 Footage (That You Might Have Missed)
With Disney choosing to release fresh new footage from The Rise of Skywalker, excitement for the newest Star Wars blockbuster is beginning to gather pace. Previously, we’d only got a teaser trailer but at D23 the studio showed off scenes from the next installment, sending fans of the franchise into meltdown along the way.
RELATED: Star Wars: 6 Rise of Skywalker Rumours That Could Be Legit (& 4 We Think Aren't)
The bulk of the teaser gives us older Star Wars footage but there’s a whole minute of new action for people to feast their eyes on. We now take a look at 10 things we learned and what you might have missed when you watched the footage the first time around.
10 The Gang Are Staying Together
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In both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, the main characters spend plenty of time away from each other as they aim to topple Kylo Ren and the villainous First Order. The last movie felt a bit disjointed as a result with many unimpressed by the decision to juggle dramatic scenes involving Rey, Kylo, Finn, and Rose Tico all at the same time.
But, already, The Rise of Skywalker may be about to change all that. There’s a brief clip where it shows Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron, Chewbacca and C3PO on a desert planet which may or not be Pasaana, one of the new locations previously revealed to be in the film. It looks as if Disney has learned from their past mistakes by allowing the main characters to fight together, rather than individually.
9 Starkiller Weaponry May Have Survived
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There have been plenty of rumors that Death Star technology may be available on certain Star Destroyers to help Emperor Palpatine, who we know is returning in some shape or form, carry out his mission of eliminating the Resistance and rising to power once again. However, it seems as if Starkiller Base’s formidable lasers may be used instead.
In the D23 trailer, there’s a glimpse of a bright red beam destroying the surface of a planet. While the Death Star’s weapons were green, this isn’t the case which may suggest that it’s cut from the same cloth as the lasers used by the First Order in The Force Awakens. How it was able to live on remains a mystery but it appears our heroes will be pitted against some mighty strong enemies this time around.
8 The Last Jedi May Have Been Forgotten
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The Last Jedi was a solid Star Wars movie but divided opinion among the fans, with many venting their fury at director Rian Johnson on social media in the immediate aftermath of the blockbuster’s release. And, so divisive has the movie proved to be, it already seems as if Disney is trying to distance themselves from it.
RELATED: Star Wars: 10 Things We Wish The Sequel Trilogy Had Done (So Far)
The D23 footage kicks off with lots of footage from previous movies in the Skywalker saga. There’s plenty of the original trilogy, plenty of the sequels and a fair amount of 2015’s The Force Awakens. But they show just three scenes from The Last Jedi: Luke and Leia saying goodbye, Resistance speeders flying towards the First Order on Crait and Kylo Ren and Rey touching hands.
7 Tantive IV Is Back
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This was the first ship we ever saw in the franchise, the place where Darth Vader and the Empire storm in 1977’s A New Hope and also the setting of one of the Sith Lord’s most murderous rampages in Rogue One. The vehicle also popped up briefly in Revenge of the Sith where Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Bail Organa plot a way to fight back against Emperor Palpatine and his formidable army.
In the D23 trailer, it shows the Resistance’s ships in the sky seemingly preparing to take on the enemy. And alongside the Millenium Falcon there’s what appears to be Tantive IV in something that will no doubt delight fans of the first Star Wars trilogy.
6 So Are Imperial Star Destroyers
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We know that Palpatine is back to cause chaos for our heroes in The Rise of Skywalker. And it appears the biggest bad guy in Star Wars isn’t going to come back empty-handed, with the D23 trailer appearing to confirm the return of Imperial Star Destroyers in one of its most exciting images.
RELATED: Rise Of Skywalker: 10 Star Wars Mysteries We've Never Had Answered
Hundreds of the vehicles can be seen in the sky while an ominous bolt of lightning flashes across it. While the First Order possessed Star Destroyers in The Last Jedi they differed in design and it looks as if the ships from the original trilogy are about to make a return.
5 Rey Has Learned New Things
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The first teaser trailer for the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker showed that Rey was even stronger with the force than when we’d last seen her during 2017’s The Last Jedi. That footage displayed her somersaulting over what appears to be Kylo Ren’s vehicle and it appears that her talents will not just extend to some fantastic gymnastics.
Instead, it looks as if Rey has learned the art of throwing her lightsaber and allowing it to return to her. This leads us to think that Daisy Ridley’s character is going to do some spectacular stuff when the blockbuster releases later this year.
4 The Death Star Will Host A Spectacular Fight
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The last time we saw the second Death Star it was shattered into a billion pieces when Lando Calrissian succeeds at blowing it up in 1983’s Return of the Jedi. However, it seems as if the iconic setting is about to make a spectacular return and play host to one of the biggest lightsaber duels of the entire franchise.
The D23 footage shows Rey and Kylo seemingly fighting on its ruins, engaging each other in combat with aggression that was certainly lacking from their showdown in The Force Awakens. The Death Star was also glimpsed in the first teaser trailer for the movie and it appears the Skywalker saga will be ending where it started all those years ago.
3 Darth Vader Remains Involved
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We’re not saying that just because Palpatine, Imperial Star Destroyers and the Death Star will all be involved in The Rise of Skywalker that the iconic Darth Vader, who bit the dust in Return of the Jedi, will be making a return either. But director JJ Abrams is seemingly willing to throw in as many Darth Vader references as possible.
RELATED: Star Wars: 10 Kylo Ren Predictions For Rise Of Skywalker
Vader’s breathing can be heard in the background of the D23 footage, particularly at the very end. It’s unmistakably him and, given Kylo Ren is set to talk to his grandfather’s old mask again, we can expect the Sith Lord to be given plenty of attention.
2 Rey’s Clone Theory May Be Confirmed
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Much has been made of the scene showing Rey with a Sith red lightsaber wearing a hooded cloak, looking every bit as if she’s about to undergo a dramatic transformation and choose the dark side over her friends. However, what if Rey’s clone theory may have been confirmed?
For a long time now, fans have pondered about the origins of the former Jakku scavenger. And one of the most popular lines of thought is that she’s a clone, somebody Palpatine made to serve under him when the time was right. What if dark Rey is actually a different version of Daisy Ridley’s character entirely? What if she’s somebody who will hinder, rather than help, the Resistance in their fight against evil.
1 John Williams Remains King
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We’re not saying we didn’t like the music in either Rogue One or Solo: A Star Wars Story. It was perfectly good but, when it comes to producing scores for Star Wars, then John Williams is the absolute king at it.
Williams’ brother, Don, recently claimed that he had recorded over 135 minutes’ worth of music for the final chapter of the Skywalker saga. He also claimed the movie will contain every theme ever heard but the score for the D23 trailer was something new. It’s heavy and exciting tone suggests this may even be the biggest Star Wars movie to date and we can’t wait to hear much more when the film releases in December.
NEXT: Star Wars: 6 Planets We'd Love To See In Rise Of Skywalker (& 4 We Wouldn't)
source https://screenrant.com/rise-skywalker-star-wars-d23-footage-hints-breakdown/
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