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#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like itβs nothing??? ok ππππππ
pepprs
Β·
1 year
Text
the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome
#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik itβs just a piece of wood and itβs falling apart but
#omg likeβ¦ o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends itβs where i
#paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and itβs literally about to be goneβ¦. forever? ok!!!
#and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great
#that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but itβs home and youβre
#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like itβs nothing??? ok ππππππ
#purrs
#literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and
#it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a
#and now we have my grandparents car and there isnβt a backseat so i donβt get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents
#house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which
#means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and weβll
#have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these
#renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion itβs bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and
#cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. itβs
#comforting in a way bc itβs like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep
#being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is
#mad at me for freaking out the renovation but itβs like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also
#create a situation where we literally canβt like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what weβre gonna do bc we donβt go
#anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i canβt believe itβs starting tomorrow
#and i canβt believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.
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