#just a couple weeks ago my roommate got sick with a covid scare and it was fucking terrifying to think i might catch it again

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

#ok to rb #just a couple weeks ago my roommate got sick with a covid scare and it was fucking terrifying to think i might catch it again #i know most people see covid as something mostly or entirely in the past but it isnt #and some of us are still scared and trying to survive #spoonie #covid #covid cw

[redbeardace]

Between Panic and Indifference

Okay, serious post time.

As you may know, I live near Seattle.  And if you’ve been paying attention to the news (in between the politics), you’ll know that we’re currently going through a bit of something.  I’ve been making jokes about it, but I sort of want to talk seriously about some of what it’s like here right now.

Quick recap:  About a month ago, it was announced that the first case of COVID-19/coronavirus had popped up in Everett, Washington.  Everett’s one of the larger suburbs of Seattle, home to a Boeing airplane factory, FunkoPop HQ, and Half-Price Books that I go to once in a while.  It was someone who’d been to Wuhan in China and got sick after returning to the US.  He went to the doctor, got quarantined, and that was it.  The system worked, the disease was contained, the guy got better.  And that was it.

Until last week.  Last week, they closed Bothell High School “out of an abundance of caution” in order to clean it, because a family member of someone who works at the school had gotten sick after returning from overseas travel.  Bothell is a smaller suburb than Everett.  It’s largely unremarkable, one of those places that takes up three exits on the freeway, but no one really understands why.  It’s also where I live, so hearing that the high school was closed was a bit unnerving, but also a bit ridiculous because it was all speculation.  It was a family member of a school worker, and that employee was staying home.  And it turned out that there was nothing to it, that family member did not have COVID-19.  But at least the high school got cleaned.

False alarm, back to your regularly scheduled--

Scoop Jackson High School in Mill Creek is closed on Friday, this time for a confirmed case.  Mill Creek is an even smaller suburb, sandwiched between Bothell and Everett, and it’s where my post office and a grocery store I go to is. A student had the “flu” earlier in the week, went to the doctor, the doctor said go home, get better.  So the student did that.  They got better and went back to school on Friday.  Unbeknownst to them, their doctor had performed a coronavirus test.  The student hadn’t been out of the country, hadn’t been around anyone who’d been out of the country, so they shouldn’t have had it, the doctor was just performing the test as part of some study.

It was positive.

They hadn’t been out of the country.  They hadn’t been around anyone who had been.  The only known case in the area had been contained.  There were a few cases in California that were mysterious, but at least those were linked to a possibly mismanaged quarantine situation.  But in Mill Creek, there wasn’t any of that.  Sure, it’s next to Everett where the first case was, but that was contained.  So what the hell?

Later that night, there was another case of “possible coronavirus” in Bellevue, the city where I work.

Then Saturday happened.  The first confirmed death, in Kirkland, Washington.  You know Kirkland as the Kirkland from “Kirkland Brand” at Costco.  I know Kirkland as the place I drive through on my commute that’s between Bothell and Bellevue.  Several more hospitalizations.  A news conference talks about the death and the hospitalizations and, almost as a side note, mentions 50+ people connected to a nursing home, also in Kirkland, as showing symptoms.  Fifty people.  I’m going to come back to that.  None of these people had been to China or Italy and I don’t think any of them knew anyone who had.  So what the hell?

Later that night, a scientist from a local research facility posts a short Twitter thread that potentially could have gone unnoticed.  It’s a Twitter thread for crying out loud, who knows what kind of crackpot this could be?  But it’s not a crackpot.  It actually is a local research scientist.  The thread kinda gets right to the point.  An analysis of a sample of the virus from the first patient genetically matches a sample of virus from the Mill Creek student, therefore it is highly likely that the virus has been circulating around the area, on the loose, for six weeks.

Oh.

That deadly disease that we’ve been watching cripple other parts of the world, killing thousands.  That’s here.  Now.  And it’s been here for weeks.

And by here, I mean HERE.  You may have noticed that all those cities I mentioned are places that I go regularly.  “Here” is literally right outside my door.  I am in the bright red bullseye of the hot zone, as this virus swirls around me.

After Saturday, it’s a bit of a blur what happened when, but the specifics really don’t matter.  More cases, more deaths, a Seattle skyscraper closes, Amazon closes, Microsoft closes, more schools close, including the entire Northshore School District (the district I live in), which closed today for the next two weeks.

--

So that’s the recap.  That brings us up to now.  But you could’ve gotten all that by watching the news.  I’m really writing this post to talk about what it’s like here at the moment.

I think the scariest thing about it all is that we don’t know how scared to be.  We’re used to thinking of disasters in terms of a concrete event.  Something happened, you can see the impact.  An earthquake, a school shooting, a hurricane, a terrorist attack, a volcanic eruption, a nuclear meltdown.  Most of the time, it ends, you can count the bodies, tally up the damage, and that’s that.  Even in a longer term event, you can see the lava coming and get out of the way or look at a map of the Chernobyl or Fukushima exclusion zones and avoid those places.

But this is an invisible disaster.  It’s literally in the air around us.  It’s on door handles and shopping carts and library books.  Your coworker or neighbor or roommate could be The Thing, and you have no way of knowing.  We’re playing a dangerous game of tag against an invisible opponent, and you have no idea you’re it until way too late.  

Even worse, we have absolutely no idea whatsoever how bad it actually is.  The latest official number I can find as of this writing is that there are 39 confirmed cases, and ten of those have died.  A significant number of those cases are associated with that nursing home I mentioned earlier.  So 39 isn’t bad at all, out of a couple million people in this region.  Even if you limit it to just the “bright red bullseye of the hotzone”, that’s several hundred thousand people.  So 39 out of that is nothing.  But you’ll remember that I mentioned that there were 50+ people connected to that nursing home that were sick, and only some of them are counted in that 39 number.  Then there’s a bunch of firefighters in the area who went to that nursing home, who are sick.  Family members who are sick.  And that student in Mill Creek and the first guy who died got it from somewhere...  And other random people just popping up here and there who had to get it from somewhere.  You add those all up, and it’s probably 100+ cases, but for some reason, they’re not yet confirmed (or even tested), so they don’t show up in the official counts yet.

They weren’t really testing people who hadn’t been overseas or been in contact with someone who had been, until this week.  It’s been here, on the loose, for six weeks.  There are probably thousands of cases that have gone undiagnosed.  For most people, it’s like the flu.  So how many cases of the “flu” were really COVID-19?  They’re retroactively discovering people who died prior to Saturday who had it.  Their deaths had been chalked up to some other respiratory disease.

So it’s here and it’s killing people.  But...  It’s been here for six weeks and we’re not all dead yet.  So what does that mean?  Is the disease not actually as bad as people feared?  Sure, it sucks if you get it and it’s really bad if you’re old or already sick, but so’s the flu, and we haven’t panicked about that since Seattle made it to the Stanley Cup.  If that’s the case then maybe this is as bad as it gets, which, frankly, isn’t that bad at all and we’re all overreacting.  Or are we just at the start of the spread and it’s about to go Beast Mode on us and lay us flat for two years?  We don’t know.

Everything’s shutting down except huge gatherings like ECCC and the Sounders games.  King County just bought a motel to use as a quarantine site.  Stay in your car on the ferry.  Awkwardly jab elbows instead of shaking hands.  But only ten people have died out of 4 million, and all of those ten had “underlying conditions”, and it hasn’t been bad enough for anyone to notice until now, so...

So what are we supposed to do about all this?  Raid every store for every last bottle of Purell and every last roll of toilet paper and hunker down in our homes like it’s the end of days?  Or do nothing in particular because enh no biggie?

It’s like we’re standing on a beach and we’ve been told that maybe a tsunami is coming.  We’ve been standing here for a month and a half, and the water is up to our ankles and we’ve just noticed our feet are wet.  Is the tsunami still coming?  Is this the tsunami?  Or is this just the tide?

It’s weird living like this.  You find yourself doing things in different ways, noticing things you never noticed.  Every morning now, I’m checking my work email before driving in, just in case we’ve been told to work from home “out of an abundance of caution”, or worse, told that we need to self-quarantine because someone in the office tested positive.  Every night, I bring my laptop home in case this is the last day I’m in the office for a while.  Everyone’s telling a lot of morbid jokes.  Traffic is amazing.  There are even spots on the second level of the parking garage and there are NEVER spots on the second level when I get in.  Every cough is treated with suspicion, and your coworkers cough a lot.  Every door handle is treated with suspicion, and there are a lot of door handles. No one from the other offices is allowed to travel to our office and we’re not allowed to go elsewhere.  I’m getting targeted ads for hand sanitizer and Windex. I had a slight tickle in my throat that might just be allergies, but I started mentally doing contact tracing of everywhere I’d been and everyone I’d talked to over the past two weeks.  I’ve never even considered that I might have allergies before.  I have a day off tomorrow, so do I risk going to the store to make sure I have at least three weeks of supplies, instead of only the two weeks I currently have, just in case?  Or do I go to the store just to see the circus of empty shelves?  Or do I go to the store to buy an Xbox One X so if I do get quarantined, at least I can be quarantined with True 4K Gaming?

--

I was listening to the radio this morning, and they were interviewing musician Dave Matthews about the coronavirus.  He was talking about touring while this is going on, and how he might come home to Seattle between the legs of his tour, and he said something like “We’ve got to find a balance between panic and indifference”.  And I just felt like that’s the best possible way to describe where we are right now.

Seattle:  Somewhere between panic and indifference.

#covid19 #coronavirus #seattle #but seriously seattle y'all gotta learn about disaster preparedness #we live in an earthquake zone #and ya ain't gonna be able to pop down to Costco to get a cartful of water #when the full rip 9 hits us #why do you need a cartful of water anyway #you know there's a device in your kitchen that gives you water right #and it's probably going to be fine through all this #this virus isn't going around causing water main ruptures #life in the hot zone #that was a longer post than I was planning

[isimplyfuxkincant]

i got my laundry done. that’s the first time i’ve done laundry since i got Covid 2 weeks ago! hell yeah. anyway, we found out that the graduate program I wanted to apply for doesn’t run in the spring, so it wouldn’t be until august 2022 that i would be able to take the classes. there’s no upside to me moving there early, there’s barely any clinics related to my job there. i have no support system there besides 2 friends who are a couple. i thought the other night, Birmingham. music, record stores, concerts, tattoo shops, parks, wilderness, UAB. i have a roommate that lines up perfectly when my lease is up. they said they can cover the deposit. what am i waiting for? i drove around my town the other day after spending so many days in bed sick, and i looked around i was like “hahaha why the fuck am i here!!!!!”. like no one is keeping me here. i love my job i love my boss but i would be giving them more than enough notice. i feel guilty. but why? i’m scared to fail. scared that i won’t be able to pay rent or how do i buy a washer and dryer like just adult shit that my 25 year old ass worries about. i’ve sent my resume to a few clinics. i feel like i have imposter syndrome i don’t feel qualified for these positions but like, i am. I need to take the GRE. my brain has been running like wild since 10 this morning. i have all day off tomorrow what am i going to do that’s constructive? maybe find my gre prep book and schedule it? maybe send my resume to a few more places?

#personal #UAB #birmingham #birmingham alabama

[surveys-r-us]

If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Justin probably lol

Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Nope. 

Were your parents born in the same country they now live in? Yes

How did you celebrate New Year’s last year? Was with my friend Bailey. Went to a bar for a couple drinks and got hit on by some creepy guys. Then we went back to my place, drank some champagne, and watched the ball drop and Gilmore Girls. 

What would you do if you found a wallet containing $100 on the street? If there’s an ID, try to locate the owner. 

Have you told anyone you love them today? No. 

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Lol like 3:30. Not intentionally ugh. 

Are you in any physical or emotional pain right now? Physically I had this stupid pimple on my mouth and it popped, so now it’s just all dry and irritated. Emotionally, yeah, I cried for no reason for like 5 minutes earlier today. 

What’s the time right now? 6:25 PM.

Is the sun still up, or is it dark? It’s dark. 

Have you seen all The Hunger Games films that have been released so far? Yep I’ve seen them all. 

Is there an automatic fog light in your yard? Nope. I don’t have a yard lmao. I live in an apartment. 

When was the last time you used the bathroom? Like an hour ago. 

How many living grandparents do you still have? 1. 

Are you currently in a relationship? Nope

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Yep. One of my last roommates. This is why I live alone lmao.

What are your plans for the rest of the day? Doing surveys, probably playing Sims, listening to music. Nothing exciting.

How many times have you been sick this year? Once but before the covid outbreak. 

Is there a garage or carport attached to your house? Apartment, but no.

Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? Nope. 

Do you fold or scrunch? Scrunch lol

Have you ever been on a strict diet and exercise regime? No. 

Who did you text today, and what did you talk about? Katy about working at this coffee shop. My mom about random things. 

What colour is your toothbrush? Lime green and white. 

Do you have a favourite author? I always say it’s F Scott Fitzgerald but I’ve only actually read two of his novels. However, Great Gatsby is my favorite book so I guess I can say that. 

Is Christmas a joyful time for you, or just plain stressful? This year it’s stressful. I work at Bath and Body Works right now and people don’t follow the rules with wearing masks and then you get the general rudeness anyways, which I’m sure will be worse with Karens having to wait in line. And then I won’t see the extended family I haven’t seen in months so that sucks. 

How long do you usually take in the shower? I’d say like 10 minutes. 

Have you ever worked in an office? Yep. 

Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Me, I live by myself lol.

How many times have you been out of state that you can remember? I’m going to take this as the state I live in. Right now with all the pandemic stuff, not as often but I’m going to my home state for Thanksgiving. 

Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? Yes. 

Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? Butter because it tastes better

What time do you plan to wake up tomorrow? Been trying to wake up at 9 everyday. 

What is your favourite way to eat rice? With chicken. 

Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? Unfortunately. 

Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? I can’t handle secondhand embarrassment so I’ll fast forward scenes on movies/tv shows or there’s certain ones i won’t watch at all. 

Can you smell anything right now? The candle I’m burning. 

Would you be scared if you saw 5 missed calls from one of your parents? Lol yep

Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? No.

Do you own a pair of gumboots or wellies? Yep

When was the last time you watched a movie? I think like two weeks ago.

Do you know anyone who struggles with a mental disorder? Yes

What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? Reddit

Have you ever been vegan or vegetarian? No

Are you tired right now? A little but only because it got dark like an hour ago. I hate daylight savings time. 

[kappucinno]

this blog is 3 years old today, and so, here is my third post ever (wooowwww)

So. It’s been a few years. I’m 21 and a senior in college. Is it cool if we make a time jump? Cool. I’m still Kathleen, but a bunch of other stuff has happened, and I’ll try to sum it up in bullet points: • Depression and anxiety hit me pretty hard spring of my freshman year. • I actually ended up making some more friends that spring, too - a pretty & cool girl named Jenae, a goofy and quirky girl named Emily, and a bearded dude named Zach, who was a couple years ahead of us in the art program. • I couldn’t find a job, so I spent all summer of 2017 hanging around my house and occasionally driving into a nearby town to get coffee and sketch the apple trees. • I lived in a single dorm in what was once the attic area of the oldest dorm on campus. I had three windows and a slanted roof and string lights, and it was the coziest place ever. • I go on an overnight trip to Portland with my two best friends from high school, Kaylee and Emily. • I ended up becoming better friends with Jenae, and met some of her friends, two dudes named Jon and Luis. • I arranged to move into my older sister’s old apartment in the fall with Jenae and her roommate Jordan. • I became infatuated with Jon, to no avail. Although, once, he did invite me over to his and Luis’ apartment, and just Jon and I hung out while he cooked me dinner. I still don’t know if that was a date or not. • I suffered major FOMO because they would all hang out without me, since they’re all from the same town. • I got my first summer job! I was a camp counselor at a YMCA day camp, and it was a wild ride. • I bought my first car! She’s an old Chevy Blazer that I named Monica, and half the stickers on the back aren’t even mine! • I played D&D with my summer camp coworkers/friends for the first time out of curiosity, and it was actually really fun! • I went to my first house party. I was the only sober person there. I kind of hated it. It was the same night someone hi-jacked an empty plane at the nearby airport and crash-landed into a nearby island that was, thankfully, uninhabited. • I took a week off work to move into the apartment with Jenae and Jordan. Jon helped me move my stuff in (I asked because I was still infatuated with him, and he lived in town year-round). I drove across the mountains and cried to Alaska by Maggie Rogers, although I don’t know where the tears came from. • I started my junior year of college, and re-connected with Emily, who I was friends with spring of freshman year. • I turned 20! And then a week later, I found out Jon had a think for my friend/co-worker Kaitlyn, which really bugged me, because she was the person I wanted to talk about it with the most. • I go on a youth ministry retreat and become better friends with Luis and our friend Annie. • I start to develop a crush on Luis, which Jenae and I agree is not ideal. I decide to not act on it, and just focus on becoming better friends with him. Which I do, because we have a bunch of stuff in common. • Jon comes back from winter break with a girlfriend, and I start to not really care. • I become better friends with a bunch of people in our social circle through Jon and Luis’ small group, like my friends Haley, Heather, and Katie. • Jordan decides in with her boyfriend, and so Heather agrees to move in with us for senior year. • Luis starts showing an interest in me, but then he changes his mind, all in the course of a week, which honestly breaks my heart, and I throw up because my emotions got the best of me. • Luis starts dating some random girl, which doesn’t amount to anything, but it still sucks for me. • I get a design internship down in Sacramento for the summer, which means I will live with the family of one of Dad’s best friends from high school and college, whom I have never met in my life. Oddly enough, this doesn’t scare me at all. • I continue to hang out with Luis while he’s dating that random girl, and try to push past my feelings for him. • By the end of the school year, I feel so low and under appreciated by the people I hang out with, I literally pack up all my stuff and go home in less than 3 hours. I say goodbye to Jenae, who is hanging out with Luis, so unfortunately, I have to say goodbye to him, too. He doesn’t know the reason I’m leaving, and thus skipping the graduation and grad parties of a bunch of my friends is because I can’t stand to be in the town where he lives any longer. • I go home for a week, and then my mom and I make the two-day-long drive down to Sacramento. We both feel like we should be having some deep talks, but we can’t think of anything, so we just kind of hang out and enjoy the drive southwards. • We arrive, and I meet the family I’ll be staying with - the Harlow’s - and I immediately bond with their two youngest kids, a 22-year-old girl named Maddy, and an 18-year-old girl named Emma, as well as their 19-year-old friend Molly. • After making sure I’ve settled in, my mom flies home, and it’s just me with the Harlow’s in California. • I start my internship, and I’m the youngest person in the office, but I work as hard as everyone else. • I spend the summer eating mint chocolate chip It’s-Its, floating around the pool fully-clothed on a large flamingo floaty, being fairly stressed out by work, hanging out with Maddy and her friends, drinking cold-brewed French press, watching Studio Ghibli movies, and talking to my sisters on the phone. • The area I lived in is home to the largest number of millionaires and billionaires in California north of Beverly Hills, so I watch the wealthy through both the lenses of my own experience and curiosity. A lot of people look down at me because of my car or the things I own, but a lot of people ask me a ton of questions, like have I been to Forks or Twin Peaks? (I have, but both are just regular towns, no vampires or serial killers that I know of). • In my last week, I visit Facebook and San Francisco, and my dad flies down that Friday night to drive back with me. • We drive back home, and I leave my pillow in a sketchy Holiday Inn in Oregon, which saddens my greatly. • I hang out at home for 3 weeks, and then I head back to school. • I start my senior year of college, and I become closer friends with two girls in my photography class (whom I’ve hung out with on and off throughout college), Riley and Jordyn. • Luis and I are actually really good friends! We play lots of Mario Kart and hang out a couple times a week to binge-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. • I turn 21, and instead of going out, my roommates and I stay in and do homework because we all have a butt-ton or homework. I drank one beer over the course of 3 hours. It’s pretty low-key, which I liked. Luis brings me balloons, even though him and Jenae hadn’t been getting along very well. • I start to get physically sick and anxious because I can’t tell where I stand with Luis, so I finally tell him how I feel. He says he’s not interested in me like that, but he wants to remain friends, which I agree too, because that was the main thing I was worried about. After telling him, I honestly just feel really relieved to know where I stand. We just promise that it won’t be weird. • I become closer friends with Jenae and Heather, and we all agree this is the best living situation we’ve had during the entirety of our college careers. • Luis avoids me for two weeks with out explanation, so I get anxious and spiral and freak out, and he dodges my questions. I apologize for spiraling, but he doesn’t seem to care. • I go home for winter break and come back, and his and I’s friendship is basically non-existent. • I take a yoga class and become better friends with my friend Arthur, whom I also know through Jon and Luis’s small group. • Heather has more free time, so her and Jenae and I hang out more. • I become better friends with my friend Bethany, who is also my coworker, but I knew her before through Jenae. • I apply for a butt-ton of jobs, and I either get a “we’re going in a different direction” or no response at all. • Luis hangs out with Jenae at my apartment, and things are so icy between us, I don’t feel like I can sit on my own couch. • Slowly, we start to get along a bit better, and we hang out a grand total of 3 times throughout the quarter, but he still doesn’t seem to care. • COVID-19 breaks out in Washington state just in time for finals, which I do online. • The guys use coronavirus as a reason to avoid me, but still hang out with Jenae, so I decide to use social distancing to cut them out of my life. And now we’re caught up. I’m currently at home, and I’m probably going to go back to school next week, if it ever stops snowing in the mountains that I have to cross to actually get to school. Heather texted the roomie group chat a few days ago and announced that she’s going to have to pull out of the lease because of coronavirus and her parents not being able to afford her rent with their jobs up in the air, so we’re on the hunt for a new roommate, which seems kind of futile with all that’s going on in the world. It’s definitely not how I wanted this year to go, and now that I’m looking back over the past few years, I got kind of obsessed with Luis. The way he treated me is super unhealthy, and unfortunately, I’m just one of a large group of people he treats like that. I was talking to my mom the other week - she drove over to my younger sister’s college to help her move out since all her classes are online and the campus is closed, and on the way back, she stopped in my town to get breakfast with me - and she told me she’s excited for me to graduate so that way I can find a better group of friends that actually value me, that I don’t have to doubt so often. I know I’m gonna be friends with Heather and Jenae after college - I’m going to Heather’s wedding this fall - but I know it’s gonna be a lot harder to see them, since we all don’t really know where we’re gonna be after June. But I agree with my mom. I’m pretty eager to find a group of friends that I actually know are my friends. To be honest, I forgot about this blog. I forgot it was here, and why I started it in the first place. I guess it’s kind of Caroline Calloway-inspires in that it’s sort of a living memoir, this blog. Maybe one day, after I’ve written a bunch of other books, I’ll make this blog an actual book, because now I know it’s here, I want to be here a lot more. If anyone in the digital void is reading this, hi! Thanks for spending a bunch of time looking at the summary of my college career, exactly three years after I started this blog. It’s not super exciting, I know, but maybe it’s interesting to watch a life take it’s course. I’ll be back! -Kathleen