#its so much easier to be a misanthrope shut in but if i stayed one i would also probably die

[anthonybialy]

Inept Infection

Government helping you not die has gone as well as anything else they've done to help your life. Andrew Cuomo thinks it's a compliment. Begging them to stop assisting is pointless, as they must keep you from being deceased by law. Their efforts are like a monkey offering to drive without getting to enjoy the hilarity of flipping over after using the guardrail to get up on two wheels.

Ignoring pleas about your suffering as a result of quasi-dictators' cruelly indifferent orders is the only way to protect us. Oh, and they didn't actually do so. New York residents endure trips to the dentist where hours of pain result in crooked smiles.

Politicians don't have to be actively diabolical to screw up life, which is the most frightening part. There's nothing scarier than knowing they think they're assisting. Saving us from the facing judgment in the afterlife sure is horrifying.

You'll be okay facing your walls for another couple months. Not seeing other humans supposedly keeps all of us alive. Violating the command would unfold like eye contact with the Ark of the Covenant.

Seclusion from others is punishment in prison even if misanthropes can't understand why. You have just yourself for company, so you better be awesome. An indefinite sentence in solitary is for your own good. People are finally as productive as their government.

The very enlightened and entirely logical state is too busy regulating wings to worry about trifling matters like how they clipped the populace. Cuomo flexes by bullying the healthy while he puts off writing apology notes to thousands of families who lost their eldest members in his nursing home purge. Cornering the disease by killing off the vulnerable is clever in its utter inhumanity. Jim Jones thought he had the record for deaths by a Democrat.

Empty storefronts will be the longest-lasting virus symptom. Businesses that won't come back are so uncooperative. Don't they care about a heartwarming recovery? Our inspirational leaders never bothered to learn how owners pay employees.

It's remarkable how much self-righteousness is possible when you think you're saving humanity. Government's fans always think their exhausting infringements save humanity, so imagine how messianic halting a pandemic must feel. Disregard the map showing where the disease advanced. As a hint, Joe Biden will have an excuse not to campaign in places he's somehow guaranteed to win.

Shrugging off collateral damage is part of planning a healthy new world, aside from the healthy part. Businesses are forgetting how they were only supposed to close temporarily. An executive order to stay open might not help. Virus War generals concluded bombing raids on their own positions would defeat this determined enemy.

Endless regulation started as a day trip to nowhere. Then, we were supposed to sit still for a few weeks. Now, we can't figure out how the utilities are shut off with a government that cares for us so much.

You have to not check if it works. There should be a mandate. It's crucial to shield ourselves from results in order to believe unilateral orders are productive.

Government worshipers are so certain their faith pays off that they don't verify. Zealotry prompts them to condemn anyone seeking evidence. Cover your ears before showing charts so easy to read that even liberals could do it. They don't bother because CNN told them smugness provides immunity.

Telling you what you can't do because of a virus is a variation on the theme of every other bit of irksome meddling. Idling for months has led to being broke and sad, in part because we were assured this wasn't supposed to be indefinite. Those furloughed by states were promised it'd be like using up sick days. But vacation time is long past spent, too.

Actively forcing citizens to be passive turns out to be less than healthy. It's hard to sound ill on the phone when we're not the ones who wanted to skip off. Being made to sit around slightly more so than usual is what government does. They're here to help.

Elected saints are only forcing you to not have a job or be close enough to high-five is for your own benefit. They regret to inform you you're an awful idiot with your irrepressible urges to do things. Keeping you from living is so you can live. You're so unappreciative.

Many have used endless free hours to notice the pushiest states have the largest corpse stacks. Those unable to distinguish between cases and deaths are hopefully just rabid partisans, because it would be truly unfortunate if they misunderstood something so basic.

Blue States are losing at Human Jenga despite fraudulent efforts to claim it's stupid freewheeling Texas piling up the deceased. I'm certain the science of arrogant dolts who can't grasp that taxes demotivate humans is accurate.

Dreamy governors listen to the experts, who are people in different fields who agree with them. I can't wait for the next issue of Tiger Beat so I can cut out pictures of the government gang to tape inside my locker.

Hiding from risk has made it easier for it to find us. Staying in one place was supposed to halt the plague's advancement. It's our fault for moving around too much. We just weren't stationary enough, as we had to open the door to grab Amazon's drop. The financial cost and human hours lost will never be recovered and were exponentially greater than promised. But at least the virus is still here.

[notintheipswichboyband]

Neutral Evil Trope

"For mine own good, all causes shall give way."

— Macbeth

One of the nine alignments from the best-known Character Alignment system. Sometimes known as the "Asshole Alignment" or "True Evil". Characters of this alignment fit neither end of the Law–Chaos axis, hence "Neutral", but they land at the morally worse end of the other, Good–Evil axis. Their methods vary; just as the Neutral Good character will ally with anybody to do what's right and nobody to do what's wrong, the Neutral Evil character will ally with anybody as long as it advances their own interests — and it is all about their own interests. These characters do not respect other people as people like themselves with feelings and needs; rather they are tools or obstacles inferior to the Neutral Evil, to be used for their advancement. Neutral Evil characters are intrinsically selfish people, regardless of whose side they are on, and as a Token Evil Teammate, they may sell out to the bad guy if it makes achieving their goals significantly easier.

Some of the world-shaking ones may seek to tear down an old order, good or bad, to set up their own order — not because their way is better, or for the pleasure of tearing it down, but because they want to be in charge. They will do it using any means at their disposal. To a Neutral Evil character, honor, standards and keeping your word is all well and good, so long as it doesn't get in the way. If their opponent is honorable and decent, that's great because they can exploit it. They are very prone to saying, "I Lied".

While they are usually villains, they can also switch to the good guy's side for a while, if it's better for them at the moment. True Magnificent Bastards of the Neutral Evil persuasion can sometimes (with a little luck) lure other villains into an Enemy Civil War, usually along the lines of Order Versus Chaos — playing Lawful Evil against Chaotic Evil — and cleaning up at both sides' expense.

Neutral Evil is, usually, the most dangerous type of evil to fight. Typically, neutral evil characters are The Unfettered, though that isn't to say they follow no code but rather only follow rules or codes that benefit them. Neutral Evil characters will use the law if it suits them but will throw it away as needed for their purposes. What can make them very dangerous is that, the intelligent versions of this trope, tend to be strict followers of Pragmatic Villainy. Ultimately, what matters is what they want and will cross any line to get it.

Neutral Evil types can come in a variety of different flavors:

Type 1: Neutral over Evil — These characters are amoral and commit evil for self-serving, but not necessarily malicious purposes. They tend to be in it for money and power but (generally) eschew motives like revenge or sadism, viewing them as barbaric or simply unprofessional, if they regard them at all; that does not mean they'll always, or ever, stop their bosses, partners or lackeys from indulging in such behavior, though, and they are usually prepared to Kick the Dog or perform Cold-Blooded Torture as a means to an end. Perhaps they are a Punch-Clock Villain, or maybe they believe there is Better Living Through Evil, or perhaps they are Blessed with Suck and their talents happen to lend themselves to evil (like, say, a talent for professional hits). Essentially, this is anyone who would be a True Neutral if not for the lack of conscience or empathy, or their practice of putting either aside to further their own ends. A type 1 will either not understand the difference between right and wrong, or understand but choose wrong anyway, perhaps justifying it with Necessarily Evil, or perhaps simply not viewing the whole Good and Evil thing to be of any special importance in the first place. On the other end of the scale, this can ramp up to Scary Dogmatic Aliens or Eldritch Abominations and anyone else operating on Blue and Orange Morality or Above Good and Evil, but who are just culpable enough to still qualify as evil.

Type 2: Evil over Neutral — These characters, in contrast, are immoral and deliberately evil. Egotistical, selfish, malevolent and sadistic, they recognize the difference between right and wrong (at least superficially) and willfully and gleefully choose wrong. But this does not make them Chaotic Evil, since they get the same amusement from using orderly or chaotic techniques. They are likely to do bad things just For the Evulz. Some are made of Jerk Justifications and try to justify their actions with insincere What Is Evil? or Above Good and Evil arguments; many others are Card Carrying Villains who revel being the bad guy and will boast about all the horrible things they have done or plan to do.

Type 3: Balance Seeker — These characters on the other hand are egomaniacal; they believe that they are the good, or even The Hero, and evil either doesn't exist or is whatever they don't like. These guys might recognize that the rest of the world has different ethical standards from them, but those standards are for lesser mortals and they will obey them only when it is convenient to do so. Often elitist and smug with a grandiose sense of entitlement and self-worth, they often think The Hero thwarts their plans out of jealousy, ignorance or spite and often fail to understand altruism or selfless behavior. They treat the bulk of humanity with indifference if not utter contempt, even if they regard themselves as a Well-Intentioned Extremist, believing themselves to be the center of the world, perhaps sharing it with a handful of semi-worthy competitors and everyone else exists to serve their needs or glorify them. Others don't care about the common person at all except as means to an end, while some are simply the Misanthrope Supreme and will shut themselves off from the trash that is mankind; or, worse, take a Kill 'Em All approach to Put Them All Out of My Misery. A Type 3 is fully capable of doing heinous or petty things For the Evulz and can be extremely sadistic and vindictive; they just won't consider such acts to be evil (at least, in general) because they feel they are entitled to do them.

Type 4 characters are devout- they are actually devoted to the cause of Evil (or similar sinister concept, eg. the Dark Side, Crime, Death etc.) and seek to spread it wherever they go. A Type 4 serves the resident God of Evil, seeks to open the Sealed Evil in a Can, or is the most fervent and sincere follower of the Religion of Evil, as well as actively opposing the forces of Good and going out of their way to do so. Others are more philosophical or political and advocate destructive, bigoted or Straw Nihilist creeds. The nuttiest of this type even believe Bad is Good and Good is Bad and think that normal or heroic characters are the true villains while applying Insane Troll Logic to demostrate that the "villains" are actually good. In spite of this servile approach, most are just as selfcentred and egotistical as any other Neutral Evil type; this often manifests in the real or delusional belief that they are "special"- perhaps The Chosen One, the Dark Messiah or even The Antichrist-, and they might view other followers as useful pawns or hated rivals. Some simply become addicted to Black Magic or assign religious meaning to torture and death; others are more mission orientated and come to serve as agents of dark powers or simply try to spread as much misery or death as possible. Though sometimes portrayed as cartooshily evil, the most serious of this type make very dangerous villains, as they truly do Evil for its own sake, and not (just) evil for the sake of themselves.

In practice, Neutral Evil often simply means "Evil", so Lawful Evil or Chaotic Evil are simply cases where one of the above types meets Lawful or Chaotic Neutral inclinations.

Neutral Evil can be the most dangerous alignment because such characters are willing to step on, betray, take advantage of, hurt, and kill other people to reach their goals and get what they want. The Neutral Evil have no difficulty working with others so long as their own needs are met. However, they also have no difficulty betraying former companions if there is some gain in doing so. They are also extremely susceptible to bribes.

In Dungeons & Dragons, characters who are selfish above all else are Neutral Evil by default.

If you have a difficulty deciding which alignment a evil-aligned character belongs to, the main difference between Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil and Chaotic Evil is not their devotion to their evil wishes, but the methods they believe are best to realize it:

Even though there are some situations where they can't always use this method, Lawful Evil characters believe the best way is to have a specific, strict code of conduct, whether self-imposed or codified as a law. Their first impulse when making a moral decision is to refer back to this code; those with externally imposed systems (codes of laws, hierarchies, etc.) will try to work within the system when those systems go wrong. Depending on whether they are more Lawful or more Evil, they will either refuse to break the code even though it would hurt their evil objectives, or else break it only very reluctantly, and only when it would hurt their evil objectives if they kept their code.

Neutral Evil characters are indifferent to Order Versus Chaos, and their only interest is in realizing their evil wishes. They will use whatever means will help in realizing their evil wishes, whether that means tearing down a code of laws, following a code of laws, creating an orderly society, causing the breakdown of justice, or staying away from society altogether. Their only goal is to realize their evil wishes, full stop.

Most Chaotic Evil characters don't constantly break the law, but they cannot see much value in laws (or, for weaker-CCEs, do not see the value in laws that do not function solely to their depraved objectives). They believe that their own evil impulses are their best guides, and that tying themselves to any given code of conduct would be limiting their own ability to realize their depraved wishes. They do not get along with anyone who tries to instill any kind of order over the Chaotic Evil character, believing these people to be restricting their freedom; Chaotic Evil characters often focus very strongly on their own individual rights and freedoms, and will strongly resist any form of oppression of themselves.

See Also: Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Evil

Examples of Neutral Evil villains:

Abusive Parents (if not Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil)

Most villains who follow Ambition Is Evil

The more self-centered Amoral Attorney

Villainous versions of Beneath the Mask (especially seemingly nice characters).

Bullies, when not Lawful Evil.

The more villainous Byronic Heroes go here.

Some examples of The Caligula. (When not Chaotic Evil).

A good amount of Card Carrying Villains, when not Chaotic Evil.

Villainous cases of Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, as this is often associated with these type of characters.

Con Man: Those who aren't Chaotic Evil (Or, at their most sympathetic, Chaotic Neutral)

Some Corrupt Corporate Executives (if not Lawful Evil) who are motivated by greed and personal aggrandizement.

Cruella to Animals

Most evil Blood Knights if not Chaotic Evil

Many Dirty Cowards

Evil Chancellors who use illegal means to gain power.

Evil Colonialist (If not Lawful Evil)

The Evil Debt Collector when not Lawful Evil

A less lawfully bound Evil Overlord (example: Voldemort, Emperor Palpatine, Skeletor).

Some Faux Affably Evil characters when not Lawful Evil

The Heroism Addict (falls under Type 3)

Glory Hound and Glory Seeker, if not Chaotic Evil

Jerkasses

The Killer Game Master, cause he loves to see their players suffer

The most egomaniacal and self-centered Knight Templars (Type 3)

Les Collaborateurs

Many Generic Doomsday Villains, although they can be Chaotic Evil as well.

Mad Scientists that turn into Evilutionary Biologists and/or do things all For Science!

More amoral versions of The Neidermeyer

Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist

Politically Incorrect Villain (if not Lawful Evil)

Many Straw Nihilists

Most of the more amoral Professional Killers who are Only in It for the Money: Hitmen, most more sinister mercenaries, and most evil Bounty Hunters.

Most Psychos For Hire, when they're not Chaotic Evil

The Religion of Evil

Most Omnicidal Maniacs that aren't Chaotic Evil

Most Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds that aren't Chaotic Evil

Many Classic Villains

Most Pragmatic Villains

Many Magnificent Bastards

Many Narcissists, particularly the ones with the lack of empathy and propensity for manipulation that characterizes the personality disorder

The Ego of an evil-aligned Freudian Trio.

The Starscream, when not Lawful Evil.

Most organized Serial Killers

Slimeballs

Rather vicious versions of the hedonist, when not Chaotic Evil.

The Smug Snake or Big Bad Wannabe.

The Sociopath: Those who aren't Chaotic Evil (Type 2-4).

Most Sociopathic Soldiers

The Barnum, if not Chaotic Evil

The Quisling when not Lawful Evil

Evil Poachers

Evil Vigilante Men

Those who engage in War for Fun and Profit.

Most evil Yanderes that aren't Chaotic Evil

The Stool Pigeon: The Betrayer Barry variant is used as example of the alignment in the Player Handbook 3th Edition.

Can be either Red or Blue Oni depending on personal preferences.

Others, such as the Big Bad, can vary between Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, and Chaotic Evil.

Expect any Neutral Evil state to be Mordor, and a Neutral Evil city the Wretched Hive. Neutral Evil characters are likely to be Unfettered. If they are, they can also be the most lethal kind of villain, as the most extreme kind of neutral evil (not Chaotic Evil like one might think) is what gave rise to the concept of the Omnicidal Maniac (though most Omnicidal Maniacs tend to slide into Chaotic Evil by the end). Many Corrupt Corporate Executives are Neutral Evil Jerkasses in charge of Lawful Evil MegaCorps — it's easier to get ahead in business when you cheat. Unlike a Lawful Evil CCE who'd fly into a rage over somebody else's infractions, Neutral Evil sorts rarely care (as long as they themselves stay ahead) — a suitably Affably Neutral Evil businessperson might even applaud a fellow cheater's "initiative."

#Info #Chase #Neutral Evil #Skies #He switches from 1 to 2 I swear lol #Way too often #though DOES it matter?! XD

[krysslabryn-fanfic]

The Ancient Magus Takes A Bride

Just a silly little thing I banged out about a couple weeks ago and then nearly forgot about. It’s only on here for just now, but I’m considering posting it on Ao3/ff.net for April Fool’s, ha ha.

I’ve also got the first chapter of a slightly ridiculous Hallowe’en TAMB fic done, now that it’s wildly out of date (or just so, so early, ha ha), so I’m plonking away at that trying to get it finished for this Hallowe’en. And I’m working on a quiet little evening-at-home-in-a-winter-storm one-shot that I’m hoping to get done before Spring, sheesh. So more TAMB fics are in the pipe! Maybe I can whack out a Valentine’s one; we’ll see! :D

Meanwhile, please enjoy "The Ancient Magus Takes A Bride”.

Once upon a time there lived a terrifying inhuman mage.

He had a terrifying wolf's skull for a head, with terrifying big sharp teeth, and terrifying horns, and wore a terrifying (but surprisingly natty) black suit. His name was Elias Ainsworth; but people also called him the Thorn Mage, or Pilum Murialis (which means Spear Wall), because he tended to burst out in thorns when he was aggrieved; but he preferred people to not call him anything at all and to just leave him alone. He was something of a recluse, which is a polite way of saying a prickly misanthropic jerk.

It wasn't so much that he actually hated people, though; it was more that he just didn't really give a fuck about them, and deeply wanted them to not give a fuck about him in return. However, he had unfortunately come to the attention of the Church some time before, during a particularly unfortunate interaction with a very obtuse Customs agent in France, and now they wouldn't leave him alone. They kept checking up on him. They weren't very subtle about it, either.

Every Sunday morning, Elias (who was decidedly not a morning person and therefore inclined to be extra prickly when roused from his extremely comfortable bed, or otherwise bothered before he'd finished his morning tea—or at any other time, to be honest) would answer the door to find a pair of overly-chipper young idiots darkening his doorstep. “Hello!” They'd say to him. “Have you found Jesus?”

“No,” he'd scowl; “Try under the sofa cushions.” And then he would very firmly close the door in their faces, and they, satisfied that the terrifying recluse was still reclused at home, would wander off for another week.

Frankly, it was a relief when the latest priest sent to bother him did so by merely hiding in the bushes, which was far easier to ignore—except for his persistently annoying cough. Elias eventually had enough of it, bopping him on the head to get his attention, and giving him some cough medicine, which apparently the priest hadn't thought to try taking. “Shut up,” Elias advised him, which apparently endeared him to the priest enough that the priest subsequently considered him (and treated him as) something of a friend. Elias, meanwhile, was just happy that the noise had stopped. He was also happy to keep him in cough syrup if it meant being left alone.

Elias had tried to fit in, he really had, for a very long time, decades, centuries even. Unfortunately though, humans tended to be a bit put off by very large inhuman creatures with very large teeth and glowing eyes who looked like they might eat them (which, to be fair, he might do), no matter how natty their suit was. And so, at this point, unable to fully integrate into human society (at least, so far as the European ones were concerned; but he doubted any others would be any different), but also unable to return to being the simple fae or spirit or ambulatory thorn bush or whatever he had once been (he didn't quite remember anymore—it was a very long time ago), all he wanted was to be left alone to live out the rest of his apparently-immortal life in peace.

The contradiction inherent in that plan had not yet occurred to him. He was not unintelligent; but he could be a bit obtuse at times.

Unfortunately, he was still not being left to his own devices. He avoided humans, and the Church largely left him alone (thanks, apparently, to his so-called friendship with Father Simon, who was perfectly happy to ignore his more minor doings so long as he didn't actually eat anyone else); but there were other mages as well, and they insisted that he had a duty to them, to mage society, and that he should take on an apprentice. To share his knowledge.

“Why?” he'd frown. “I learned almost everything I know from Lindel. Go bother him about apprentices.”

“He's already taken at least two, and he's busy with the dragons,” they'd reply. “It's your turn.”

“You can take my turn; I don't mind.”

“It doesn't work like that.”

And so they kept nagging at him, whenever they crossed his path (or he theirs, which was slightly more often, as he did need to go out for supplies occasionally, as even the most traditional of British grocers do not tend to stock the more esoteric magical ingredients, and the paperwork to put in a special order was usually more hassle than it was worth). This did not seem to be a problem that he could solve with simple cough syrup, alas. Still, he put them off, or ignored them in turn, for as long as he could, while he vaguely contemplated various plans to shut them up.

One happy day, however, he heard about a unique item up for auction at Sotheby's, the magical British auction house, where one might acquire anything from unicorn horns to the odd Aston Martin (which he had heard was a very high calibre of horseless carriage, although he had no personal experience with it, since he didn't fit into most of them very easily, and far preferred to travel by train, when he had to travel at all). The unique item was called a Sleigh Beggy, and was a type of magical battery, more or less. Wonderful! They tended to break down after a decade or two, less if one actually made use of them, and this one was already a decade and a half old. Almost used up! He could tell everyone he was going to use it as his apprentice, watch it for a few years and maybe learn something more about humans, and be done with it.

And then maybe they'd leave him alone for a few more centuries.

All he had to do was to go and get it after ascertaining that it wasn't too objectionable. And to his satisfaction, it wasn't. To be sure, it was rather grotty; but he gathered that giving one's new pet a bath was rather a tradition, anyways. Best to start off on the right foot.

And so he washed it, and belled it, and fed it, and showed it where its bed would be, and even remembered to ask if it already had a name, instead of just giving it a name he liked himself, as humans did with pets that couldn't speak. And much to his delight, and as he'd planned, when finding one without any other social ties, it bonded to him very quickly, even refusing to follow the ariels into Tír na nÓg, despite them promising it a far happier life than it had apparently had heretofore.

Yes, this would work out very well, he thought. It—she—could be his apprentice, and he could teach her a few things about magic, and if she lived long enough to become a full mage, she could stay on with him indefinitely, and he could keep on observing her. And she could answer the damned door.

The End

#my writing #fanfic #mtny #tamb