#its also like .. this whole place is like .. yeah okay now i've got some shelving but what i really need is DECOR! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daftpatience · 5 months

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Do you have any tips or advice for running an artists booth at a convention? I'm thinking about doing it eventually and been wanting to hear from people who have done it before :^)

yeah!!! lemme rattle off a few things off the top a my head also, pardon me 4 using amazon dot ca links for products that i mention. its just easy to find references that way (and often u can look up the brand and find their non-amazon store etc etc)

this got super long so im putting it under a cut!!

• join an artist alley group!! i'm in this artist alley discord and it is a fantastic place to get info about cons, table display ideas, manufacturer recommendations, etc. there are more than just this group out there and i think there are bigger ones but i personally really like this one ^u^ i make a ton of use of the display resources and manu recommendation channels!

• if you can afford it, be choosy about the events you apply to. there are a lot of cons out there that are fantastic, and a lot that aren't worth the trouble, and i don't necessarily mean small vs big cons. some of my fav events are smaller artist alleys local to me, and most of the artists i know avoid informa (fanexpo) like the plague. check out what other artists have to say about past events and keep an eye out for red flags: personally i find cons with really out of date/poorly advertised social medias and websites that have mismatched info are a warning sign of a mismanaged and not well attended event. • you don't need a lot of fancy display stuff to start, those sorts of things you can build up over time. im a fan of getting a ton of my display stuff from the dollar store >:)

when you're ready and need the space to display a good amount of art the main thing you wanna pick up is definitely something that gives your table some verticality, whether that's a pvc pipe style setup, pegboards, or modular cube shelving (we all used to use these big heavy grid ones until the plastic sheet covered ones came out and now we all use those. theyre cuter and lighter and fit better on a table and come in more colours yayay. im sure some people still like the grid ones since they fit gridwall accessories tho) there are lots of other ways to display stuff but these r what i am most familiar with. definitely helps to look at youtube and pinterest and discord groups for display ideas!!

another thing you will want to start is a tablecloth. not every con has their tables already covered! there are those plastic picnic ones at dollar stores, and you can thrift bedsheets/fabric too.

• depending on the type of display and art you do you'll need some way to attach signs/prints/charms/etc to your display. i just moved from blu-tack to magnets but i used to use sewing clips (back when i used the grid cubes) and before then masking tape. all of them are okay and cool! except blu-tack. don't make the same mistakes as me it adds like 40 whole minutes to teardown and it leaves gross oil on the prints after some time. evil

• if you don't have business cards you can make a sign with a qr code that links to you/your shop! there are lots of qr code makers online that u can even customize with images and colours and stuff. there will be people that wanna know how to find you again after a con!

• these days a lot of people don't bring cash to conventions and it's pretty vital to bring some sort of card reader or other digital payment method. most of us use square - they recently made it so that the phone app can accept tap! so you don't need to jump for the expensive physical readers. i've also got a paypal dot me qr code and my etransfer email (i think this is a canadian thing) on a lil sign on the table so people have lots of payment options. usually over 50% of my con income comes from non-cash sales!

• make sure to bring change!! we've forgotten in the past and done okay but it's always handy to be able to make change for people. you'll want a secure place to put cash as well, whether it's a locked moneybox that you keep out of sight or a place on your person (friend of mine uses a fanny pack!) you never wanna leave your table completely unattended but especially when it comes to the moneybox. if it's a multi day con this is an item you mustn't leave at your table overnight.

• keep count of your sales and expenses properly so that you can see how much you made at the end of the con. i really like spreadsheets but you can even just note it down in a book. here's a little example of one con for me:

• you'll want to make a checklist of stock and display stuff to bring, but don't forget to make a list of minor stuff like phone chargers and scissors and tape and glue and pens and paper. multiple types of tape and paper if possible. they don't feel super important until you're stuck because you forgot to make a price sign and have to get by with a sharpie and a napkin. don't let that be you!! dollar store sticky note pads are super useful for this type of thing.

• plan out your prices and do as much prep (counting, sign making, display planning, packing/sorting) as you can beforehand so that the event doesn't feel too stressful. make sure your merchandise is stored in an easily accessible way for you behind the table so you aren't scrambling or rummaging too much when people are asking for stuff!

• similarly, whatever you can leave out for people to just pick/grab themselves, the more of it you're likely to sell. things like stickers and charms are good for this - people like to touch stuff! and it makes it so you don't need to go fishing for items for people as frequently. generally i don't do this with more expensive items just to be safe.

• if you sell prints, people are gonna ask for sleeves to keep them safe, especially at outdoor events. sometimes people ask for sleeves/bags even if they dont buy anything. they're a good idea to have on hand and you can find em for pretty cheap online and for a bit more expensive at dollar stores (i use OPP bags. if you dont wanna use plastic you can always get paper bags/envelopes/glassine bags instead)

• a cushion for the chair is a good idea. lots of conventions have really uncomfy chairs. some folks even bring camping chairs instead!

• pack snacks/lunch/water/drinks/have lunch plans. if you have a table buddy that is able to run out for food that's always nice. you might be sitting but it uses a lot of energy to interface all day!! you'll be exhausted and hungry and it's gonna be important to get enough fuel for your brain to function properly. i genuinely would recommend juice/soda/coffee/energy dink alongside water and food if you wanna live, especially if its a multi day con. get good sleep on days between!

• if you're excited to do trades with other artists during the con, the general etiquette is to wait until later in the day/near the end when the crowds are winding down! it's always okay to ask if someone's doing trades, and don't be upset or press them if they aren't interested or have certain stuff they don't want to trade.

• speaking of con etiquette, depending on the type of vert you are (intro/extro) and or how much customer service experience you have, interfacing can be nervewracking. my general rule is that if they stop to look, i say Hello and let them browse. if they seem interested in my table i try and do some small talk. stuff like How are you/How's the event been for ya/compliments on their outfit/cosplay/merch they have on like pins etc are good! kids and old folks love this. as tiring as it is to do some of my favourite parts of cons is talking to nice people that like my art!! all the folks that say nice things about my work are what keep me drawing ;w; i keep my sketchbook with me to jot down/doodle nice and funny encounters just cus it makes me happy to look back on XD

• when it's teardown time try to put stuff away as neatly as you can. you might be tired and just wanna toss all your stuff into whatever it is you brought it in but i promise future you (especially next-con you) will be so thankful that you put all your price signs into one baggie etc etc.

• speaking of bringing and putting away merch - you'll need a way to get it all from your home/car to your table and back. lots of people use dollies and other types of utility cart (i can guarantee there are a bunch of those grandma grocery ones at your local thrift store!!) - i personally use a big luggage bag and a collapsible wagon, but back in the day we used to CARRY bin after bin of stuff from the car and back in multiple trips which i would NOT reccomend lol. not every convention hall is easily accessible or close to parking so not having to lift stuff if you can avoid it is gonna be vital.

#sorry this is SO LONG #i have a lot of con onions #artist alley #convention

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timegirl · 3 years

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Cats Don't Have Nine Lives - Moceit Appreciation Week 2021

Characters: Patton, Janus

Relationship: Platonic or Romantic

Prompts: Aftermath (day 2), Animal (day 4)

Word Count: 2073

Trigger Warnings: This whole fic surrounds a death of a pet and the mourning of the owner. It is sad. Contains a light description of a declining medical condition of a pet. Please don't read if you're sensitive to these topics. Patton tries to blame himself. Food is mentioned briefly.

Summary: Patton suffers a loss and Janus comforts him.

@moceit-appreciation-week @moceit

This is not like my regular works. It is sad and depressing, and is based on my own life. More details on ao3. Please mind the warnings and the tags, stay safe.

---------------------------------

“Hey, Jan? I was just at the vet... it’s.... over....”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry... Are you going home now?”

sniffle “Yeah...”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Okay...”

Janus used the spare key he had to Patton’s apartment. “Patton, darling?” He called and closed the door behind him. He heard soft sobs greeting him from the living room. “Oh, baby...” He hurried to the living room and found his friend curled up on the sofa, clutching a small baby blue blanket to his chest. His face was puffed and red, and tears were streaming down his cheeks non stop.

“Patton, honey...” Janus clicked his tongue and quickly sat beside Patton, opening his arms for the other to snuggle in his embrace. The moment he was sat Patton clung to his torso and sobbed hard and loud, burying his face in Janus' chest and wetting his shirt with tears. Janus frowned, his brows furrowing in concern, and started rubbing slow circles on Patton back.

“I’m so sorry...” He whispered. “Shhhhhh.....” Janus started rocking gently back and forth, trying to sooth Patton’s ache.

They sat like that for a few minutes, holding each other. Janus took the opportunity to look around at the apartment. It was a really saddening look. Everywhere you looked there were cat themed objects. Never mind the cat stickers decorating the walls and the little kitty sculptures on the shelves, everything in this house screamed that there’s a feline resident in there.

A brown cat bed with a monkey plushie sitting in its corner.

Three carton boxes in different sizes were lined up opened against the wall.

A carton board on the floor beneath a blue bench that was much too small for a human. The board was covered in claw marks and teared a bit in the edges.

Toys were scattered everywhere on the floor. Mice, spikey balls, balls with little bells inside. There was one cat wand on the floor near the cat bed, a stick with a brown furry string and several colorful feathers tied to the end.

A blue cat tree was standing next to the sofa, a plaid blanket cushioned the lowest platform.

The armchair was covered in absurd amounts of cat fur, as if to say this was her spot, no one else's.

Janus lifted his gaze upwards. The walls weren't spared either. On two different walls there were blue cushioned shelves designed as stairs, going from the floor to a level above Janus' head as he stood in his full height, and Patton was shorter than him. On one step of the stairs sat a small tiger plushie.

As Patton's sobs slowly quieted down, the silence between the two was disturbed only by a small water fountain in the corner of the room, trickling steadily.

Patton didn’t want to let go of Janus. He felt like someone pulled the rug from under his feet, and Janus' firm hands were his only lifeline. He smelled nice, too, as much as Patton was able to smell with a stuffy nose from all the crying. Like the comfort and nostalgia of opening an old book with yellowing pages, with just a hint of cologne. He was warm, and it felt comforting to be held by him, like a comfort blanket. Patton was no longer crying, just inhaling Janus' scent softly to ground himself. Janus' fingers caressed the back of his head and Patton leaned into the touch.

Eventually Janus broke the silence.

"She's had a good life." He whispered into Patton's hair, and Patton felt the vibrations rumble in his chest.

Patton sighed heavily. "Yeah..." he mumbled. Sniffling once, he pulled himself away and wiped the remaining tears off his cheeks, the ones that weren't coating Janus' shirt. He looked down at the blanket he was holding.

"That's hers, right?" Janus asked.

"Yeah," said Patton, "I used it to get her into the cage, you know how she gets," he chuckled humorlessly. Janus gave him a sad smile. "She was also... wrapped in it when... when the vet... you know..."

"Yeah..." Janus rubbed his hand on Patton's arm comfortingly.

"You know, she's had a kidney failure two years ago, and the vet said that we're only prolonging the inevitable. Eventually it'll happen again and it'll be the end," Patton busied his hand with the hem of the blanket, "but I thought it'll be at least... five years, you know? Not two. Not that it wouldn't have been hard either way, but, still... It's just... so abrupt," he frowned, the tears threatening to overflow again.

"Well," Janus hesitated, "at least now you won't need the antihistamines anymore, right?" he tried for humor, and Patton's lips broke into a genuine smile and he laughed weakly through his nose.

"Right..." His smile slowly turned into a solemn expression and he sighed. "What if..." he bit his lower lip, "what if I could've stopped it?"

"Patton, no. It is not your fault."

"No, I know... The vet said it would've happened anyway... But what if I wasn't perceptive enough? Maybe if I'd noticed something's wrong sooner they could've saved her..." Tears began to accumulate in Patton's eyes.

"Sweetie, listen to me." Janus took both of Patton's hands in his and looked straight into his eyes. "It is not your fault. You were an amazing owner. You loved her so much and gave her everything she could've ever dreamed of."

"But I-"

"Shh shh shh, no buts," Janus used his thumb to gently wipe a stray tear off Patton's cheek, beneath his glasses. "I've known you since before you adopted her. I've seen how you took care of her with everything you have. Spending nights treating her when she was sick, doing everything in your power every day to make her take the medicine you knew she hated but made her feel better, staying awake late to pet her just because she didn't want to go to sleep and you couldn't bare to say no to her. Darling, trust me when I say, she was the luckiest cat in the world to have you as her owner."

Patton started sobbing again, furiously wiping his tears with his fingers, dirtying his wet glasses even more. Janus clicked his tongue. "Come here," he said as he pulled Patton to his embrace once again, placing a kiss on the crown of his head. "It's ok to grieve," he whispered, rocking them back and forth, "but don't beat yourself up about things out of your control." Patton sniffed, nodding weakly. Janus waited a bit before saying, "Let's bring you some water, ok honey?" Patton nodded again and pulled back. "I'll be right back." Janus said and petted Patton's cheek gently. He stood up and walked to the kitchen to get Patton a glass of water.

In the kitchen, Janus noticed a bowl of dry cat food in the corner. He debated getting rid of it and sparing Patton the pain, but decided against it. He'll ask Patton if he needs help with it, but he might want to do it himself to get some closure.

Janus returned to the living room with a glass of water in his hand. Patton looked up at him as he approached and small smile spread on his face. Janus' chest filled with warmth. He'll do anything for this man, he just wants him to be happy.

"Thank you," Patton said and reached his hand to grab the glass.

"You're welcome, honey," Janus replied as he took his place on the sofa.

They were silent for a moment as Patton drank. "You know," he said, lowering the glass to his lap and holding it with both hands. "I keep thinking about how naïve I was when I adopted her."

"Naïve? How so?"

"I thought it was funny, giving a cat a number as a name. You know, Nine, as in nine lives?" Janus looked at Patton, concern apparent on his forehead. Patton was looking down to his glass in his lap. "Of course there were other reasons too. It was September 2009 when I got her. The ninth month of the ninth year of the milenium. It was so fitting! Of course I couldn't give up the opportunity to give her a name that's a play on words!" Janus frowned and rubbed Patton's knee. "But cats don't really have nine lives, do they? Not even a cat named Nine..." He sighed.

Janus looked at him in silence. It was good that Patton was talking. Janus has spent years trying to make Patton to open up to him. He was always hiding behind jokes and a huge smile. He needed a safe platform to be able to unload everything weighing down on his chest. Janus was always happy to provide him that safe space, and the fact that Patton trusted him enough by now to open up to him was a bit overwhelming, in a good way. But it wasn't about Janus right now, it's about Patton and his pain. Janus knew Patton so well by now, that he didn't need to check to know that if he stayed silent, Patton would open up even more and unload more of his negative feelings, and Janus would be there for him when he does.

Surely enough, after a few moments of silence, Patton let out a breathy laugh, devoid of humor. "I keep thinking she's gonna come out from around the corner like everything's normal... You'd think dying is a one time thing. She died, that's it. It happened. Now we're after it. But it's not..." Patton emptied his glass and placed it on the table. "It's still happening. She didn't just die... She's dead. And she keeps being dead, all the time, over and over again. Every time I look to the hallway and expect her to walk out with her tail wiggling high, she's dead again. Every time I think of her... She's dead. Again. She's really... not coming back... She's staying dead." Patton played with the sleeve of the hoodie that was always tied around his shoulders. "Look at me," he chuckled, "I'm even wearing a cat hoodie. I'm pathetic..." He sighed.

"Patton honey," Janus wrapped his arms over Patton's shoulders and pulled him to rest against his chest, maneuvering himself to a more comfortable position, leaning back on the sofa. "You're not pathetic. Ok?" He stroked Patton's hair with his hand. "Those things take time. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll all be gone one day and you won't feel anything. That's never going to happen." Patton pouted in response. "But it won't be as painful. It won't be an open wound anymore. It will scar." Patton's eyes widened and he looked up to Janus, letting his eyes rest on the scar tissue on the man's left cheek. "A scar is... a reminder of what once was. It's unpleasant to look at, and it's scruffy to touch, and remembering what left the scar is... painful, to say the least." Patton's brows furrowed in a frown. Janus smiled warmly at him. "But it doesn't hurt by itself anymore. You can live your life and not even remember it's there most of the time. At first it hurts and itches and every move you make has to be calculated because the wound is bleeding and everything hurts. But with a scar you don't have to do that anymore. You're going to be ok." Patton sighed and rested his cheek on Janus' chest. "And you know, I thought about what you said." Patton raised his eyebrows and hummed in question. "You weren't naïve. You were being funny, and witty, and wonderful, like you always are." Patton's cheeks warmed in a blush. "I know it might take a while, but I can already see you in a few months with your two new kitties, Seven and Five." Patton giggled and Janus smiled, kissing his hair.

It wasn't perfect. In fact, it was extremely painful, and the grieving process has just begun. But maybe Janus was right. It had a nice ring to it, Seven and Five. Nine's little siblings. Of course, she'll never know them, but it's nice imagining how his first cat's name becomes a legacy in all of his future cats. Patton sighed. It's not going to be easy. But with Janus by his side, maybe, just maybe, he can do it. He will be ok.

#moceitappreciationweek #moceitweek2021 #janus sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides #moceit #fanfic #tw death of a pet #tw death of a loved one #tw grieving #tw food mention #tw self blame #mine

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

Real feel: mother fucking wear your gloves!!

So 36 cars all sweept in most with red Xs

19 cars altogether got pulled over

2 cars got arrested I saw one being towed away. Almost 3 did but he self soothed himself and calmed down.

My dad (uncle) came and every car left in the parking lot took off in flight.

Denise the clone also came. She can't jump stsrt a car so she expected me to wait for her then wait for a tow truck and my dad knew we were gonna get in a fight cause ita too dam cold for that and she's on her rape cycle and I refuse to get in a car with her. Because it's annoying and I don't want her feeling satisfied she can breathe the same air as me.

It's 5 minutes, 10 at most to jump. 45 minutes to wait for a man and its like 20 minutes to the store.

And i learned how to jump start without lighting the cables on fire, now. Lucas says "oh please! That's the best way!" But not really. It doesn't actually work...

I have no circulation... So I was ice cold in like 10 minutes. So it would had warmed me, tho.

But yeah dad pulls in and suddenly everyone acts like they're escaping jail.

.... I know i should just went in and stared at that super hottt clone hottie that was super super hot and stocking water... But that IS kinda creepy even if he is Just a clone... I was all driving by in my Wal-Mart wheelchair cart and I was all whoa... Is he..? Wait i gotta see l.. Because he squatted down with his hot warm balls beneath him and so I was all lets stop right here in the middle of life and discuss what's on our shopping list until he comes up from behind the pallet...

"Oh my God. Now i see why I was so in love with you William" while my heart literally leaps from my chest bounces back and goes out of rhythem while pounding through 2 shirts.

So then we laughed at my reaction for half hour

Dam he was rugged and hot...

One time I picked up William early for work and I seen him and he ducked behind some concrete shelving used to block off the street from traffic...

And oh my God...

I was walking and I seen him and I was all "oh does he loo--" and he looked at me, i swear and ducked and so i was all "well I'm gonna go see. I don't think William will mind.. Its not like i totally think hes sexy but he might be... I'll just go see... Is it William..?"

Because he was waaaay sexier at work than home... Like there it's all comfy and fun and sexy but this was outside and he looked all sparkly and God like like yum

Now he claims he saw me and saw "a woman on the prowl way too sexy to be at the job site for any work related reason" so to be safe from a kidnapping situation he decided to hide

And hide he did

I leaned over to peek and he kept hiding and hiding and asked some guys at the truck "is she gone?"

"No"

One asked "why are you hiding from your wife?"

"Man! I got one at home! Well i am engaged. Man is she crazy? Does she look it?! Fuck man! Im gonna be so busted! I need to get home! I can't get kidnapped! Fuck this!"

And my eyes got real wide and the guy at the truck just shrugged cause i was all what do i do?!?!

So i kinda jumped and leaned over real far over the cement shelving. "Well HI!!"

I was gonna ask him if he thought i was a psycho bitch then to my face but i slid on the plastic and unfortunately I was wearing a shorter dress than usual.

So he stood up "ma'am I'm just checking the paperwork ill be right back" and ducked again.

"Baby! Uh hi! Baby I don't want to yell but I think i just showed everyone my thong!!"

"What?! Okay i have to finish the uhh paperwork. Man my wife ain't even here shes at home finishing up supper or something"

"Uhm baby! There's a lot of men here which one do you want me to go home with?!"

"Uh any!! Just not me!!"

Mind you everyone is looking at me and him and listening. This is outta control and m6 husband does not say that shit to me, i tried being solid now it was fight time. So i leaned over the other end of the cement wall he loved more than me and lowered my voice "hey psst yeah. Psst William man that crazy bitch is gone now. Jump in the truck and we will take you home!!"

"Really?!?!" He lowered the clipboard he hid behind. "Oh... No.., see.., no i got a ride already!"

"Yeah with me you dumb goon"

"No in here see!" And he jumped in the back of the truck. "I finished the paperwork. Alright let's go!"

So i started to walk over and he jumped way far back in the truck

"Can you please help me? Are you the one i called?" I asked the guy laughing painfully through the whole ordeal.

He looked me up and down real hard "you sure you dont want me to take yoh home?!"

"Am i even at the right construction site?!?!"

"Yes you are. Here hand him this piece of paper." Then he yelled over "HEY WILL she called a little before lunch and left a note and asked if it was alright if she came up and surprised you and i said yeah.. I didn't know you would go a little crazy..."

"She ain't my wife!! Shes too sexy!"

"WHAT??? IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! IM FUCKING COMING UP THERE YOU BETTER GET DOWN!"

"No fuck you bi-atch!!! Wait... Honey? Is that you? I recognize your fingernail because you smashed it the other day"

"Oh it's alright. Just come down" i pleaded.

"With the hammer..." He began walking towards me "let me see it" he looked at it. "Miiiiike if you ever do that again I'm beating the shit out of you." And he sat at the end of the tail gate "well i already got a ride home, with him."

"Okay fine"

"Wait let me see what you have in your hand. These are our keys!! These are mine you're not having them and not allowed in my house Like that... Dressed like a... A... Skank!!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Stay here and get gang raped?!"

"Jesus Christ okay babe prove to me you're my wife"

"Okay fine but don't tell me your sorry" i went around the truck and took off my panties wadded them up and stuffed them in his hand "they're your favorite"

"Yeah but everyone knows that!"

"Who do you tell? Who the fuck do you tell about your favorite panties?!" Like im beyond mad. And I am yelling.

"Yeah well where did you get that dress?! Whose money did you use to buy it??! Hmm?"

"Ive had enough of me" i tried to get MY csr keys back and he wouldn't let me take them "being mother fucking nice to you" he was stronger than me So i tried to armpit trick

"Fuck you being mean to me! Come here!"

"You'll tear my dress! No! My shoe!"

"I think she's really upset at me. I think I've upset her" I bent to fix my shoe and my dress didn't cover ... Anything... Back there. "Hey quit it will you?!"

"Just give me back the key to my car and keep every thing else. Fuck it. Im tired of you anyway. I cook i clean and i come to surprise you and this is what i get and I REFUSE TO CRY HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!!" and i threw the paperwork in his face and busted his nose.

"I,understand you're my baby but did you need to hit me in the face and make my nose bleed?" He said calmly snd slowly

"Youre not bleeding, oh yeah you are. Use the panties"

So this bastard stands up in the back of the truck with my panties to his face and says "Hey Everyone, I'd Like You To Meet My Wife!"

"We've seen a whole lot of her already"

I turn around and there's not 5 or 6 guys anymore. There's 30.

"Oh shit" and I pull my dress down. "Can we just leave?! Please?!?"

"Yeah!! Lets go!!"

So he picked me up and rushes to the car with me and a bunch of dudes come around the corner and i tell him to put me down cause I can feel his hand on my bare ass.

So hes all "goddang it why did you dress so sultry?!"

"For my husband!!! who is apparently a God dang Ass Hole!!!!!!! when hes at work!!"

"Oh honey i didn't mean anything by---"

"Come on let's go!!!" As we rush around the corner there's like 50 construction workers staring hard. "I am never doing this again!!"

"Why?!"

"Hurry and please open the door!!" He reached across and unlocked it

I covered my face with my hands "oh my god oh no you're insane!"

"What? What are you saying to me?!"

"Don't you know you have PTSD? Male trauma? Because I Didnt!!"

"Well yeah I was kidnapped when i was like five!!"

"But you didn't even know me!?!"

"You never wear makeup and not dresses that short!"

"I do all the time!! I walk around partially naked all the time!!!" I looked at traffic "its just the lipstick here let me wipe it off"

"Thats better you could did that at the construction site!"

"Well i just put it back on in the car and I didn't know that's why you were freaking out and going insane on me!!"

"Put it back on?! Why the Hell?!

"I ate a biscuit"

"Why did you put it on in the first place?"

"Have you seen in my caboodle? I have a ton of it! When you get home, look!!"

"Okay alright i will"

"Where are we going? I thought we would go to Tulsa"

"Not now! I gotta go home to make sure you are --- you!!! Now come on!!

"You're the one driving"

"Its my car!!"

"No! Its mine and my dad's see the registration?!?!"

"That's it I'm gonna pull over. Let me see the mole that's on your thigh"

"Its not a mole! Its a freckle!"

"Fine let me see it And you drive!!"

"Okay Okay fine I'll let you see it"

He looks "ok you're you then!"

"Who else would i be?!?"

"A clone!"

"From the freezer?!? Come on! Not me! Let me drice then!"

"You're losing your cool and you never do!"

"Omg Jesus Christ are you kidding me?!?"

"Uhm no"

"I need to start smoking pot. We need to get our own place and we do then this happens."

"Smoking pot?! Uhm no! I do not think so! Here you drive then!! You're a nervous wreck. You need control"

"No i need sex but my husband is INSANE!! I try a nice surprise to be unspoiled and then this happens!"

"Who calls you spoiled?!"

"YOU DO!!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you want a hotel?!"

"What?! No we got dishes at home. They will get me unstressed"

"HON-EY!"

"I'm getting in the back seat PULL OVER!!"

"Now I'm talking! You think i want you to come all this way to go home?"

"BACKSEAT!!!"

As soon as the back Windows fogged a truck of his co-workers drove by honking.

When we finished he said

"We are going home because you NEVER do that to Me!!"

"It was a surprise!! And no im not driving! Im staying in the back seat!"

"You NEVER do that to Me either!!!"

"Well it's a surprise!!!"

I wanna cry he upset me so much so I'm,all screaming from my throat and it sounds all shrill and out of control and hes like trying to calm me down and I don't want to be upset and feeling like life is out of control but he really showed me shit i hadn't seen and I was scared to be at home because what was next? I used a different sauce because I was pregnant and so he throws me out into the street? Barefoot and all because i look different? So i just cried myself to sleep in the back seat of my own car because I didn't know what else to do and it was the only thing i could accomplish that day,

I heard the car door open and close...

He didn't go around the other side to open and get me out... It was dark and cold already.

"There's no one upstairs. Now what do you want to do?" He sat in the car

"I'll just go to my parents. I'll come get my clothes later"

So he yanked open the car door, jumped out, threw the seat forward, yanked me out of the car, threw me over his shoulder, put his hand over my bare ass and carried me up 3 flights of stairs.

Put me in the single comfy chair we had and made dinner.

He sat on a pillow on the floor next to me and fed me.

"What are we going to do if i get pregnant and my body starts to change?"

"Ill just take pictures. I'll use my Polaroid"

I had found out I wss pregnant that morning... Feeling sick like crazy... I took a test in the gas station bathroom. Wrapped it in my purse and went and bought a new dress and shoes and went home, took a bath did my hair and thought I had the whole day still so i should go surprise him at work and go out in Tulsa and make it special... Not days later after the whole town had to come over and seperate us from fighting cause I'm kinda crazy pregnant... And after 2 weeks of couple's therapy and he says "oh baby you're sick a lot i think you may be pregnant. You think?"

"Oh yeah i am. Check my purse."

He did take me out to Tulsa... And I was a bit sad... Because we had been through a lot since that day.. And i wanted telling him to be really special... Turned out he was.

I had taken Polaroid of myself that morning before i got dressed and one from the side and then one after. And wrote "oh!" "Baby!!" "Surprise!" And the date.

Cause I learned how to set the timer and take one of myself

So he went and got them abd said "okay im sorry i shouldn't yelled at you for taking naked Polaroids of your self. Now I see why you would take them. Okay?"

"I guess."

"DID I NOT APOLOGIZE RIGHT?!"

"MAYBE I DIDN'T YELL AT YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!"

He got up like he was fuming mad and circled me like a vulture i Put my arms up and he circled me 2x more then stopped in front of me and I put my hands on his neck

"Are we going to bed? Ill cook dinner after"

"Mmhmmm I'll help!"

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