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#it's not right but it's okay
zepskies · 3 months
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Take Me Home - Part 2
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Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 
Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 
AN: Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments on Part 1! I know many of you have questions, and I promise, all will be revealed in due time…
(Also, what do you guys think of new chapters releasing on Wednesdays and Sundays instead of just Fridays? A week is a long time, isn't it? 😂)
Song Inspo: “City Grown Willow” by Radio Company
Word Count: 5,200
Tags/Warnings: Tension, hurt/comfort, major angst, and more comfort of a different sort.
❤️ Series Masterlist
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Part 2: It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay
Tensions were running high at Sunny Day Excursions.
Over the next few days, Mary continued to press the issue of you staying in Montana with little passive aggressive comments that got on your damn nerves. You proverbially dug your heels in, and became even more stubborn and taciturn as a result.
Unstoppable force meets immovable object.
However, the entire camp was shaken the night Paige and Luke disappeared on a hike. Buck and Sunny assured everyone that they were doing their best to look for the couple, but come the morning, it was Emily who accidentally found Luke in the woods, bleeding from a head wound, and without Paige.
He claimed that they’d gone their separate ways after a fight, and he hadn’t seen her since. Paige’s suitcase and things were gone from her tent, so Sunny could only assume that she’d found her way back to camp and left for home by morning.
“Look, no one’s a prisoner here,” Sunny had said. “If Paige wanted to go home, then that’s up to her.”
There was still something off about it though, you felt. Emily seemed to share your thoughts; you’d heard her whispering with Avery, and Dan, another camper in his early 40s.
You started to watch Luke a bit harder from then on. As did your friend Mary, if for different reasons.
It was still early in the morning when you caught her flirting with Luke in front of your shared tent.
“A personal trainer, huh?” said Luke. His gaze flit over Mary’s form, and she allowed it with a smile. “You know, I’ve got a pretty good workout routine, but I’ll bet you can give me some tips—”
“Drink lots of water,” you said dryly as you approached the tent. You carried your sketchpad and acrylic paints in your hand, and you pushed into the tent without giving Luke and Mary more than a glance.
You heard Mary’s voice outside the tent, all girlish and flirtatious as she apologized about you, and suggested they could keep talking later. Luke readily agreed. You sat down on the edge of your bed and watched his silhouette walk away from the tent.
Mary soon joined you inside, and she didn’t look pleased. She stared down at you and crossed her arms.
“Are you kidding me with that shit?” you asked, gesturing at the scene you just saw.
“Could you be any more of a cockblock?” Mary shot back.
“Number one, that guy is a little too young for you, Cougar Town,” you reminded her. Luke had to be in his early 20s. It had been a hot minute since you and Mary were of college age. “Number two, he came here with his girlfriend, who he somehow lost in the woods.”
“She left him,” Mary said. “All alone in the middle of nowhere. Then she took off and went home so she didn’t have to deal with what she did. I feel bad for him.”
“No, you’re horny for him. There’s a difference,” you said flatly.
You loved Mary like a sister, but she had the tendency to let guys blind her to good sense. (Ha. Pot calling the kettle black, came your self-deprecation.)
Though you could’ve predicted the way she huffed and walked away, once again leaving you alone. You sighed.
Wasn’t this vacation for us? you wondered.
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Mary continued to bait Luke with coy flirtation, while you tried and failed to ride a horse again. Cormack had been kind and encouraging in trying to help you onto the creature, but once you were on its back, you were too afraid to let the horse move.
You felt like you were going to topple off at any moment, even with Beau Arlen’s advice. (Which still made you blush whenever you thought about it.)
So Cormack helped you down, and you went back to the mess tent for a mid-afternoon snack to make you feel better: a giant jelly donut.
You were really getting frustrated with yourself now.
“It’s not so hard,” Emily had said. You could imagine that her dad, the cowboy sheriff, had put her on a horse from the time she was a little kid. You were a city girl, through and through. The closest you’d ever gotten to riding a horse was a plastic one—a carousel at a carnival when you were six. 
While you finished off your donut, you realized that you’d spent the whole day alone. As frustrated as you were with Mary, she was your best friend. And after this week, you would be staying and she would be going back to Chicago. You didn’t know when you would get to see her again.
So with a sigh, you wiped your hands free of donut icing and went to try and find her.
You started with the tent you shared with her. “Hey, Mary? Look I—”
You gasped when, upon entering the tent, you got your eyes seared. Mary and Luke were tangled together under the sheets. He moved off of your friend and rolled onto his back next to her when you came in. Mary uttered your name in shock. Everyone was shocked, really.
You were that, and angry.
“Really?! In our goddamn bed?” you shouted. Your gaze focused on Luke, and you pointed at him. “Get the hell out of here.”
He hesitated slightly, glancing at Mary, but your furious look scared him more. He grabbed his boxers and got dressed under the sheets before he left the bed, and then fled the tent, giving you a wide berth on his way out.
You then focused on Mary, who somehow looked both contrite and irritated at being interrupted. She said your name in a placating way, but you shook your head.
“No. No. Don’t even try,” you said. “That guy’s girlfriend left him in the middle of a vacation! What does that tell you? Please, screw me?”
“You know what?” Mary snapped. She sat up in the bed, making sure to cover herself with the sheet. She leaned over to grab her clothes from the floor and started hastily getting dressed.
“Luke’s actually a nice guy," she said. "You used to know how to have fun. But now you’ve just become this bitter person who can’t relax or let yourself be happy, let alone anyone else.”
That actually struck you—like a physical blow to your chest. You tried to blink past the sting of tears in your eyes.
“You’re a damn child,” you said, steadier than you felt. “You’re not the one who had your whole world imploded.”
Mary’s lips pursed. She still looked angry, but also like she was hiding the sting of guilt. She gathered up some of her things and informed you that she’d be staying at Luke’s tent tonight.
Freakin’ fine by you.
You’d also have to request some new bed sheets from Sunny.
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In the morning, you stumbled out of bed after a rough night’s sleep. It was hard for you to sleep in a new place by yourself, especially out here in the woods.
Especially after how you and Mary left things.
You were so tired, you counted it a small blessing that you were able to put on clothes and get your hair into some kind of normalcy before you trekked over to the mess tent.
There you accidentally overheard Avery and Emily arguing; she’d lost her knife in the woods when she’d happened upon Luke, but Avery was reluctant to let her go hiking by herself. Apparently, her mother was due to join them this morning as well.
It seemed like the day of late comers though. A new married couple, Tonya and Donno, had arrived late yesterday to join the trip. They’d requested a tent at the far end of the camp, closest to the woods. Apparently, they wanted to really experience nature.
All you knew was, they seemed a bit weird.
“That knife’s important. My father gave it to me,” Emily said, interrupting your thoughts.
It made Avery quiet, but they both greeted you more pleasantly when you had to walk by them to get to the coffee.
“Hey, sorry,” you gave a little wave in embarrassment. You hated interrupting moments that had nothing to do with you, but you supposed it was unavoidable in this camp.
Once you’d gotten your coffee and filled your plate with some eggs and bacon, you joined them at the table. You pretended not to notice the way they both glanced at you with measures of concern. Did you really look that bad?
Avery wisely didn’t comment. Emily wasn’t as good at curbing her inner filter.
“Hey, you okay?” she asked. You gave her a thin smile.
“Just a bit tired. Didn’t sleep so well,” you admitted.
Of course, that was when the reason for your bedraggled appearance strolled into the mess tent. Mary came in and noticed Avery and Emily first with a smile. It turned frosty when she glanced at you. You gave her a mocking “smile” right back.
She chose to ignore you and went for the buffet table instead.
Right, you thought. You supposed that was how it was going to be for the rest of this damn trip.
“All righty! Good mornin’, folks,” Sunny said, entering the mess tent. She surveyed all the faces gathered—some relaxed and jovial, and then your table, a bit awkward, a bit tense.
She moved on with a smile that matched her name and her shiny red hair.
“Just lettin’ you all know as a reminder, we’ve got a bunch of activities for you all if there are any takers. Archery, kayaking, it’s gonna be a great time,” she said. “But if you prefer, you’re welcome to keep to the camp have a more relaxed day. It’s your vacation, so it’s up to you how you wanna spend it.”
You all nodded in understanding.
It’s your vacation. You choose how you spend it.
That, you could get on board with.
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You spent the rest of the morning alone, as usual. Either you were reading in the outdoor lounge area, taking in the sunshine and the fresh air, or you were painting, taking in the landscape of the tall trees and the great, big mountains peeking out from behind them.
You earned yourself some peace today, one that let you breathe and try to tune out your frustrations with Mary, and your worries about the future. You hummed along to a melody in your mind as you painted. Completely at peace…
Until a hand tapped on your shoulder, making you yelp and sending your paintbrush high in the air.
Cormack came into your line of vision with a barely stifled laugh and placating hands. While you took out your earbuds (and calmed your breathing), he grabbed your brush and handed it back to you.
“Sorry about that. Just wanted to let you know that lunch is served,” he said, though he took a glance at your painting. “Hey, lookin’ real good there. Nice landscape.”
You let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Aw, you don’t have to be so nice. I’m still learning.”
He crossed his arms. “Well, if you’re interested in taking classes, I know someone who runs an art studio in town. Miss Peggy. Nice lady. Not too harsh.”
You laughed more genuinely.
“Good to know, thanks! Send me the address and I’ll check it out,” you said. Cormack agreed with a smile, and he helped you up from the long couch you were sitting on. The two of you walked back together to the central part of the camp, where the mess tent was.
There you met Emily’s mother, Carla, who’d just joined her family at the camp. She wasn’t exactly dressed for camping in her pressed blouse and pencil skirt; professional and smart, her long dark hair a perfect coil.
This woman was immaculate. As you soon learned, she was also a lawyer. You didn’t often feel intimidated by other women, but she could fit that bill, considering you were sweaty and dusty in your plain V-necked shirt and jeans.
And especially knowing that this was Sheriff Arlen’s ex-wife. Avery seemed like the “wealthy businessman” type—the kind of man you’d expect a high-powered lawyer to be with. You found yourself wondering how she’d met the sheriff.
That’s none of your busineeeess, you sing-songed in your mind, while you speared more salad on your plate. As if that could disguise the juicy brisket burger right beside it.
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After lunch, you returned to your tent to finally find Mary. She was lying on the bed, looking a bit listless.
“I’m surprised you’re not attached to Luke’s hip,” you remarked, setting down your backpack and paint supplies on the floor. “Or his face.”
She shot you a peeved look. “He keeps ditching me for that weird new couple. Tonya and Donner or something.”
“Donno?” you supplied. “Yeah, he’s weird. He stole the ketchup bottle from the breakfast table this morning. He told me, ‘You shouldn’t ruin good eggs with sugary tomato paste.’”
Mary raised a brow, but she turned to you when you sat down beside her on the bed. There was a moment of tension between you, even though your gazes were softer to each other. The truth was, you missed your friend today. You guys didn’t fight often, and it had you hurting. Maybe she felt the same way.
“Listen,” you said with a sigh. “I’m not sorry for throwing Luke out of our tent. That was gross as hell, and I didn’t appreciate that. But I don’t want to fight with you. I want to enjoy our last few days together before you go back to Chicago.”
Mary’s lips pursed, but she seemed to relent.
“Yeah, that was a bitch move,” she admitted. She knew full well that her tryst with Luke could’ve happened in his tent, not the one she shared with you. She met your gaze with more resignation, as well as apology.
“You’re really staying here, aren’t you?” she asked.
You nodded. “Yeah, I am. I’m not saying there’s nothing for me back home. Of course I’m going to miss you, our friends, the rest of my family…but I need to do this. I need a fresh start.”
It took her a moment, but Mary nodded. She reached over and hugged you. You held her back tightly.
After a beat, she let you go and slid out of bed.
“Okay,” she sighed. “I need to do something. I’m going stir crazy in here.”
“Where’re you going?” you asked.
“Just for a run,” she replied. “I should be back by dinner.”
“A run?” you repeated, your brows furrowing. “In the woods by yourself? Don’t you think that’s dangerous?”
“Well, you could come with me,” she offered. You grimaced. You and running didn’t mix. You were more of a yoga girl.
Mary laughed and finished changing into her activewear and sneakers.
“That’s what I thought,” she said. “No worries, I’ll have my phone if anything. I’ll be okay.”
“But your cell won’t have service out there!” you said.
Mary was already leaving. She blew you a kiss goodbye, though she did stop in the tent’s entryway. Her face sobered with a sincere apology.
“Look, I’m sorry for everything, okay?” she said. “I know I can be a brat sometimes…but we can talk more when I get back, clear my head.”
You were reluctant to see her go, but you nodded.
“Just be back in time for dinner!” you called after her.
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Mary wasn’t back for dinner. Even after the sun set, she hadn’t come back from her run. You were really beginning to worry.
All the other campers were gathering up at the edge of camp for a Night Hike. It was an idea Buck and Sunny surprised you all with a few hours ago. You wondered if they were trying to make up for the strange way Paige left the camp.
“The moon’s full tonight,” as Sunny had said, with a slightly too bright smile. “Should be a beautiful time.”
You asked some of the others if they’d seen Mary, but they all replied negatively. Even Luke was nowhere to be found…but someone else was missing too.
“I still can’t believe you let her go into the woods alone,” Carla snapped at her husband.
Avery’s frown deepened. “I had no idea she went off by herself. You know your daughter. She’s headstrong—”
“Yeah, just like her father,” Carla muttered, turning away from him. Avery sighed.
You couldn’t help but approach them.
“Emily’s missing?" you said in concern. "Mary is too. I’ve been waiting for her to come back all afternoon.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Carla said. She frowned as anxiety continued to well up in her eyes. “Maybe they found each other.”
You touched her arm in comfort. “Either way, we can all look for them now.”
Sunny came up to the group with a flashlight and a smile.
“Everyone ready?” she asked.
“Mary’s missing,” you told her, “And so is Emily. Mary went on a run this morning and hasn’t been back since.”
Sunny inclined her head. After she surveyed the rest of the crowd, she settled back on you.
“I see Luke’s not among us either. Maybe they’re together?” she suggested, in a leading tone. You frowned.
“No, she left alone,” you said firmly.
“Don’t mean she stayed alone, darlin’,” Sunny replied, with that Oklahoma twang that so often made her words more charming. “But we’ll be sure to look for her and Emily while we’re out there.”
Carla shook her head and said to her husband, “That’s it. I’m calling Beau.”
“Darling, you don’t need to,” Avery replied, shaking his head. “Emily’s a responsible girl. She knows what time we’re meant to leave—”
Carla shook her head and walked past him and Sunny—towards the hotspot for cell service. You agreed with her; calling the sheriff couldn’t hurt, especially if you all couldn’t find Mary or Emily on this hike.
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You still went with the rest of them to start your own search. You tried to keep with the group, but after lingering in certain spots to call for Mary, you eventually realized that you’d lost the trail—and everyone else.
The trees were tall and dark now. The moon was filtering through them like the sun had during other day hikes, but it was much more ominous at night.
“Shit,” you muttered. You gripped your flashlight in worry as panic started to well up in your chest.
Now you were lost.
You jumped with a start when the hoot of a bird passed by overhead.
Shiiiit. This was very bad.
You kept moving forward on what you thought was the trail. That was all you could do, keep moving forward. You made a few turns around some trees, occasionally calling out for Sunny, or Mary, or anyone to hear you.
The panic was back now, full force, and you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. And when you turned another corner, you screamed when you bumped into someone.
A girl’s scream echoed just as loudly as yours in the big, empty wood, but you got ahold of yourself, literally with a hand over your wildly beating heart when you realized who you’d run into.
“Emily!” you uttered. The girl let out a breath of relief to see you too. You went to her and pulled her into a hug, and she hugged you back.
“Thank. God,” she said. Her voice sounded tight with emotion, and you held her a bit tighter.
“It’s okay,” you rubbed her back. “How long’ve you been out here?”
“I don’t know,” she shook her head, pulling away from you. “Couple of hours? Maybe longer.”
You nodded and expelled a breath. Poor thing looked tired. She didn’t even have any supplies with her. You gave her a protein bar from your backpack before you two started walking.
“So the good news is, we found each other. The bad news is, we’re still lost,” you said, counting each item on your fingers. “But the good news also is, I’ve only been walking for about…half an hour or so. I’m thinking we can mark trees or other landmarks as we pass them, like checking them off, so we know where we’ve been.”
Emily glanced at you with a smile. “You’re a checklist person, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely!” you agreed. “Checking things off is satisfying. But it’s also good just to take an inventory of where we’re at.”
You two kept walking for a while. Emily explained that she’d been following Luke, who took off by himself after giving her an ominous warning.
“There are some bad people on this trip. Want my advice? Get the hell out of here,” he’d said.
You frowned in concern. You’d felt that there was something fishy about that guy, pretty much from the moment he and Paige disappeared on that hike. Those newcomers he’d been hanging out with ever since, Tonya and Donno…maybe they had something to do with it.
They’d left camp today to go into town, claiming to check on the restaurant they owned and ran. But with everything now starting to come into perspective, you couldn’t take any piece of information at face value around here.
Suddenly, Emily stopped short.
“What’s…” Your words trailed as you followed her line of vision. There was a frilly pair of underwear on the ground.
That led to a hoodie strewn in the dirt and dead leaves. You continued on, until you found Mary, lying on her back on the cold ground. You and Emily gasped her name, but you moved first, dropping to your knees at Mary’s side. You pressed a hand to her cheek and found it cold.
You moved two fingers to the pulse point at her neck, but there was nothing. No life in her. Your mouth fell open in a silent, shocked cry.
“Mary? Honey, can you hear me?” you tried, shaking her shoulders. When she remained unresponsive, tears burned in your eyes and blurred your vision. You finally saw a dark patch of wet pooled out from under her body.
“Oh my God,” Emily said, voicing your thoughts. She was panicked. “Oh God, she’s…she’s…”
You turned to her and wanted to say, Don’t look.
You had briefly taught highschoolers before you became a college professor. You were used to looking out for your students, and as the adult here, you wanted to shield the teen from the sight of this, no matter how much your mind was spinning.
Before you could say anything, Emily fled the clearing with a scream.
“Emily!” you shouted after her. You glanced back at Mary in desperation, but you forced yourself onto your feet and ran after the girl.
You had slightly longer legs, but she was fast. You only caught up to her because she screamed louder, after running into Buck leading a horse through the woods. She grabbed onto him while you caught your breath behind her.
“What? What happened?” Buck asked. You laid a supportive hand on Emily’s shoulder, and she turned back to you with tearful eyes.
“Mary,” you managed, despite the coarseness in your voice. “She’s…”
This isn’t real, you thought. It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
“She’s dead,” Emily finished for you. “Someone killed her.”
Buck’s eyes widened in shock. All he could say was…
“Show me.”
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Buck brought Mary’s body back to camp on the back of his horse. The three of you walked in silence all the way there. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her lifeless body. It was wrong. And if you did, you knew you’d collapse.
Emily was likely in shock as well. Her arm was looped through yours, though you weren’t sure who was steadying who.
Thanks to Carla, the police were already on the way to Sunny Day Excursions. When you reached the camp, Carla beelined for her daughter. Despite how happy she was to see her mom, Emily was a bit reluctant to let go of you, seeing how shaken you were, but you encouraged her wordless to go to her mother.
Carla pulled Emily into a tight hug, kissing the side of her head, and asked if she was all right. Emily just shook her head and pressed her face into her mom’s shoulder. Carla looked up at you with a relieved sigh.
“Thank you,” she said.
You gave her teary smile of your own. You couldn’t speak though, especially when Buck passed by with Mary still on the back of his horse. Sunny gasped and grabbed a blanket to cover the body with.
She then went to you, whispering, “You poor dear. Come ‘ere, sit by the fire.”
She covered your shoulders with another blanket and steered you to sit by the bonfire in the center of camp. You stayed there and stared at the flames. All the while, you didn’t feel the warmth. You didn’t feel the silent tears that slid down your face and dropped into your lap.
“Where’s Luke?” you heard Avery ask.
“That’s a good question,” said Sunny. She turned to her husband. “Buck?”
“I don’t know, but somebody better find him,” he replied grimly.
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It was another hour before the police arrived.
You still hadn’t moved from your spot in front of the bonfire on a hard bench, but it was Cormack who gently asked you if you wanted to go back to your tent to relax until the police got around to talking to you about what happened.
You’d agreed, silently, and he helped you up. But you found that you could go no further than the couple of steps that brought you onto the platform outside of your tent. The tent you’d shared with Mary.
You couldn’t go in, and Cormack seemed to realize that. He helped you lower down to sit on the platform, with your dirty sneakers planted on the step below. He gave you a cup of hot tea as well, which you held with both hands and sipped slowly.
You only raised your head when you heard Emily’s voice exclaim in happiness. You watched her run to her father, the Sheriff. He welcomed his daughter into his arms and held her tight. Relief was painted all over his face. You heard the rumble of his voice asking her if she was all right. She just burrowed closer in the safety of his arms.
A blonde policewoman had come with him, along with a whole unit of officers. She went to question Buck and Sunny first, while Beau handled Emily, then Avery and Carla. It didn’t seem like a pleasant conversation, between the two men especially.
Don’t stare, you reminded yourself. You lowered your gaze to the dusty bottom stair between your feet. Your vision started to glaze over the longer you focused on that spot. You weren’t lost in thought. You were just…blank. This entire night still didn’t feel real.
Mary’s last words kept ringing through your mind…
“Look, I’m sorry for everything, okay?” she’d said. “I know I can be a brat sometimes…but we can talk more when I get back.”
You were interrupted from your reverie when two brown boots entered your line of vision. You looked up, and Beau Arlen was there to greet you with a look of sympathy. And yet, there was a professional set to his face that let you know you were about to be formally questioned about Mary’s death.
“Is that spot taken?” Beau asked, pointing to the space beside you on the platform. You shook your head and scooched over, so he could sit down. He sighed on his way there, greeting you with polite familiarity.
“Sheriff,” you nodded back. You set aside your mug of tea and crossed your arms, holding yourself against the chill.
You’d left the blanket by the bonfire, and your sweater had been stained with blood, after helping Buck set Mary’s body on the horse. You’d ripped the sweater off as soon as you got to camp, leaving you in just your undershirt.
“You need a jacket,” Beau remarked. He glanced back at your tent, as if he was wondering why you hadn’t gone inside to grab one. But his gaze was perceptive. Instead of asking, he shrugged out of his faux fur-lined leather jacket and draped it around your shoulders.
“Here, you can borrow this for now,” he said.
“Thank you,” you spoke in a small voice. You grasped one edge of the jacket and pulled it closer around you. It smelled like musky cologne and old leather.
Beau waved off his gesture of kindness.
“I hear you found my daughter in the woods and tried to get her back to camp,” he said. “Thank you for that.”
You glanced over at him, and tears once again shone in your eyes.
“I’m sorry she had to see…”
Beau’s gaze was heavy as he sighed and nodded again in agreement.
“I’m sorry you had to see it too,” he said. “And I’m sorry for your loss. For your friend.”
You took in a shuddering breath. New tears found familiar paths down your cheeks.
“Best friend, since college,” you said.
Beau took that in, before he asked you about the day’s events. You had to explain about Mary going missing first, then Emily, and finally Luke, who still hadn’t been found. You told everything you knew from your perspective.
When you were done, Beau reluctantly asked about the Mary and Luke situation. Your lips pursed, but your upset wasn’t at the sheriff. You knew he had to ask these questions.
“We argued about it,” you admitted. “Me and Mary. I warned her not to get involved with him, and the way Paige left camp was just one of many…but still, I should’ve been there. I shouldn’t have let her go into the woods alone! I should’ve gone with her!”
By the end, your whole body wracked with sobs. You covered your face with your hands to try and get some semblance of composure, but you just couldn’t keep it together.
“Okay, okay,” Beau said gently. He laid a hand on your back and rubbed back and forth. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I am.”
You sucked in a few tremulous breaths, sniffling. You looked up at him with red, watery eyes. He gave you a half smile. 
“Sorry,” he repeated, this time for the endearment. “Like I said, got a bad habit of doin’ that.”
You shook your head with a weak curve of your lips, despite how your lower lip wobbled. 
“It’s okay,” you said. 
But it wasn’t. Nothing was. 
You didn’t think you’d ever be okay again.
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AN: 😥 I'm sorry about Mary, but I promise, it's all for a purpose, besides following canon. But let me know what you think! There will be much more of the reader and Beau in the next chapter, though you may not expect how their next meeting comes about...
Next Time:
“We’re gonna start here in a few minutes, but until then, you can take a seat,” said Tom. “There’s also coffee and cookies over there, if you like.”
Coffee. Coffee was warm, and it might settle your nerves and help you perk up a bit. You thanked him and went for the carafes on a small table in the back. You poured some coffee into a Styrofoam cup and poured a little sugar and creamer into it, but after you took an experimental sip, you immediately regretted it.
Tastes like damn soil water! You made a grossed out sound and spat it back into your cup.
“Yeah, wouldn’t recommend the joe,” drawled a familiar voice. 
You turned sharply to find Sheriff Beau Arlen.
▶️ Keep Reading: PART 3
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
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zanephillips · 10 months
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WHITNEY HOUSTON It's Not Right but It's Okay (1998)
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mthguy · 4 months
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It’s no secret that Darren Criss as Blaine Anderson, was an exceptional addition to the Glee cast. Not only is he a superb singer, but the story line of Blaine’s relationship with Kurt was a hallmark of the series. 
In this emotional performance, the full force and texture of Criss’s talent is fully evident. 
While shopping for sheet music in preparation for his performance, Kurt (Chris Colfer) meets Chandler (Justin Castor), a student from another school, who helps him choose a song. The two exchange telephone numbers, and later Chandler sends flirtatious text messages to Kurt, who responds to them positively. Kurt sees the exchanges as innocent, but his boyfriend Blaine (Darren Criss) sees it as cheating. The two get into an argument, and Blaine sings "It's Not Right but It's Okay" to express his feelings. 
“Friday night you and your boys went out to eat (Uunnhh) Then they hung out But you came home around three, yes you did If six of y'all went out (Aannh) Then four of you were really cheap 'Cause only two of you had dinner I found your credit card receipt It's not right, but it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Pack your bags up and leave Don't you dare come running back to me It's not right, but it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you, leave your key I'd rather be alone than unhappy I'll pack your bags So you can leave town for a week, yes I am The phone rings and then you look at me You said it was one of your friends Down on 54th Street, boy So why did 2-1-3 Show up on your caller ID? It's not right, but it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Pack your bags up and leave Don't you dare come running back to me It's not right, but it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you, leave your key I'd rather be alone than unhappy I have been through all of this before (I've been through all this before) So how would you think (Don't think about, don't think about it) That I could stand around and take some more? (Get goin', get gone) Things are gonna change (Things are goin' to change baby) 'Cos I don't wanna be a fool anymore (You don't stand no chance, boy) That's why you have to leave (I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhh) So don't turn around to see my face (Don't turn around) There's no more tears left here for you to see Was it really worth you going out like that? Tell me Was it really worth you going out like that? See I'm moving on and I refuse to turn back (Yeah) See all of this time I thought I had somebody down for me It turns out You were making a fool of me It's not right, but it's okay (It's not right, it's okay) I'm gonna make it anyway (I'm gonna, I'm gonna, yeahhh) Pack your bags up and leave (Close the door and leave your keys) Don't you dare come running back to me (I'd rather be alone than unhappy) It's not right, but it's okay (It's not right, it's okay baby) I'm gonna make it anyway (I can pay my own rent) Close the door behind you (Pay my light bills) Leave your key (Take care of my business) I'd rather be alone (Oh, oh) Than unhappy (Ohhh)”
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pettybourgeoiz · 2 years
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✰Bourgeoiz Music Discovery✰
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suiheisen · 6 months
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fascinated/horrified by this set of tweets…
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artkaninchenbau · 2 months
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
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persistent-wallflower · 4 months
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What the hell is this year's Aussie Open
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maliciouscigarette · 10 months
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Art by giganticbuddha (here's their ko-fi)
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dillyt · 8 months
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Great news for uninsured adults in the USA who want a COVID-19 booster! It now appears that ALL CVS locations are now active participants in the Bridge Access Program. The Bridge Access Program gives out free Covid-19 vaccinations to 18+ adults who otherwise can't afford one, so if you have a CVS near you, please go get one! For others who don't have a CVS near them, please go to vaccines.gov, click on "Find Covid-19 vaccines", fill out which vaccines you prefer (you can mix different vaccines if you have to so i reccomend just marking all of them for the age groups you need), and when the next page loads mark the "Bridge Access Program Participant" option to see only locations that are Bridge Access Program participants. Hopefully, other places that aren't CVS will start participating soon, so just check back every so often to see if there are any updates. The CDC Bridge Access Program website also has more details on what locations will be participating, but only CVS is appearing as an active participant on the vaccines.gov location finder at the moment.
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freuleinanna · 6 months
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no but you do not understand we collectively spent YEARS heartbroken over donna! and doctor never ever got over losing her! and now they are together, and they have chosen each other for family, and donna's family has warmth enough for him, and they are happy and having dinners, and 14th is casually sneaking his niece away on adventure while making sure not to tell donna because she would obliterate him and IT'S OKAY THEY'RE CHOSEN SIBLINGS IT'S WHAT THEY FUCKING DO.
listen. LISTEN.
donna's every day was taken away from her.
the doctor has been running every day ever since.
and now they get to spend time together. not a brief trip in a tardis. not a reunion before parting forever. but every. day. every day, one after the other. and they are finally home.
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zepskies · 3 months
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Take Me Home - Part 2 (Preview!)
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For those of you who just started reading Take Me Home - Part 1 (Beau Arlen x Reader), I just realized I FORGOT to give you guys a preview of the next chapter!! I added it in the main post, but here you go:
Next Time:
The trees were tall and dark now. The moon was filtering through them like the sun had during other day hikes, but it was much more ominous at night.
“Shit,” you muttered. You gripped your flashlight in worry as panic started to well up in your chest.
Now you were lost.
You jumped with a start when the hoot of a bird passed by overhead.
Shiiiit. This was very bad.
You kept moving forward on what you thought was the trail. That was all you could do, keep moving forward. You made a few turns around some trees, occasionally calling out for Sunny, or Mary, or anyone to hear you.
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stromblessed · 6 months
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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows
In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.
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If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.
So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.
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I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?
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However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.
Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)
And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.
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Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.
It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.
Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?
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While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:
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She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.
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You see where I'm going with this.
When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:
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And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD
When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.
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MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS
No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.
And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:
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Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!
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The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.
And, uh
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Yeah.
I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.
But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.
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Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:
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But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.
There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.
After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:
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"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.
Kind of like another bird in this show:
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redheadlesbianfreak · 8 months
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Yes, people do need to take accountability for the partners they choose to date, at least to some extent. And no, this doesn't apply to abusive relationships, that situation is entirely different.
I'm talking about white people who date other white people who are openly racist. I'm talking about "allies" who date other people who are openly homophobic and transphobic. I'm talking about liberal women who date very conservative men. And seeing bigotry as nothing more than a "political issue."
Of course, it's different if your partner lies and actively hides their political views from you. But if your partner is openly voting for people like Trump, openly supporting conservative politicians, openly hating/harming minority groups, then you should leave them. And you should be held accountable if you to choose to stay with someone like that.
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davidtennan-t · 6 months
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let me tell you I DIED
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tumatawa · 9 months
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favoure · 6 months
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"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"
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