#it's literally just my tags at the end of a rlly long meta post where i mention the thing im talking abt here

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ohhh man lightbulb moment for me

ive mentioned this briefly before, but i've always had an issue with the idea that because everyone behaves differently in different circumstances, these different behaviors are all different versions of us. so we all have like, a version of us we show at work, a version we become friends, a version we save only for significant others, the version of ourselves we show to strangers, the version we are around our family, and the version of ourselves that we become when we're alone.

like, first off, i disagree with this concept bc i dont think "acting differently depending on your relationship with the person/people you're speaking to" is the same thing as "becoming a different person in different circumstances." being uncomfortable talking to strangers but very open and silly around your friends is not "being a different person" it's just responding to a different situation. that's normal.

my biggest problem with this take tho is that it's always concluded with the idea that we all have a "true" self of who we are when we're by ourselves, and like. the idea of some secret inner "Pure Essence Of Who I Am" is weird to me. of course im much more comfortable hanging out with my friends or by myself vs when im in a professional environment, but that doesn't mean that the way i behave professionally is not who i am. and who i am is shaped by my experiences, so pretending that there's some True Core to my personality that only I will ever truly understand is just. SO weird to me.

and so obviously this affects how i read edward, whose personal conflict heavily revolves around identity and being the person people expect you to be, even when who you want to be changes.

what i find so interesting abt ed is that out of all the characters in this show, his behavior is the one that changes the most depending on his circumstances (frenchie's behavior also changes a lot, but we see a lot less of him than we do of ed). but i'm not someone who reads ed as having this "true inner softness" that he's been suppressed his whole life, more like his life as a pirate has required that he exaggerate some of his qualities and hide others. his desire for softness is definitely a huge part of him that's been neglected for years, but the cunning and daring pirate he's been projecting his whole life is also part of who he is. it's just a part of him that requires energy and sacrifice, and he's been playing that part for so long that he's getting tired of it.

and AUGH it makes me so crazy comparing ed and the way he adapts to situations with stede and how stede behaves. because when you compare the two, stede is the one who generally behaves the same way no matter what situation he's in. if we look at ed in the first half of episode ten and compare him to how he acts in the few scenes we get of him before episode 4, his behavior is very different. and comparing that to how he goofs off with calico jack, or how he responds when the french sailor calls him a donkey (ugh), and so many other scenes, we get a lot more variation versus like. literally any scene with stede ever. the way he talks to his crew is the way he talks to people in the republic of pirates is the way he talks to the men back home in episode 10 is the way he talks to his family (when he talks to his family at all, lmao). he's gentler with ed than he is with anyone else, and of course the things he talks about varies from situation to situation and person to person, but his tone and overall attitude is generally the same accross the board.

which is just. SO interesting to me. because ed is the one whose attitude shifts more dramatically, but ed is also the one who shows emotional vulnerability more openly. stede, bless his repressed, self-loathing heart, is hardly ever being open or emotionally honest throughout the entire show so far. and i think this supports my stance that how altering your behavior doesnt make you a "different person," because ed is the one who is being more authentically himself throughout the whole show, while stede is the one who is constantly hiding his inner thoughts and self-doubts while approaching almost every situation with the same cheerful, polite, and ignorant/naive attitude

(and i couldnt find anywhere above to put this last bit but i DO think there's smthng to be said abt how learning to alter his behavior was probably a necessary survival skill for ed in a way it wasn't for stede. like, as a rich white boy, learning how to change his attitude was something stede needed to learn in order to fit in, not to survive. and the fact that he struggles so much with altering his behavior is part of why he was never able to fit in with his peers. but for ed as a poor poc, being able to adapt was a literal survival tool, and he never would've made it as far as he did without it.)

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #stede fucking bonnet #edward teach #edward teach born on a beach #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #txt #meta #mine #og #if u clicked that link at the top thinking you'd get a brief little paragraph from me i apologize #it's literally just my tags at the end of a rlly long meta post where i mention the thing im talking abt here