#it's like when a cat has decided one of your appendages is an enemy to be attacked

[raendown]

Pairing: MinatoKakashi Word count: 3399 Rated: E Summary: A mild kitchen accident leads to feelings being revealed and action being taken. Minato has no complaints.

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Whipping Up A Good Time 

He would discover later, through offhand questions at the supermarket, that he had simply been one of the unlucky consumers to buy part of a defective batch of product. In fact quite a few people in the village had suffered the same sticky accident as he had, although probably without quite the same results afterwards. One of them had been a little old lady who lived alone and, reportedly, she’d almost had heart failure from the surprise. Still, that was all discovered after the fact and hindsight did nothing to save him from the shock of having the can of aerosol whipped cream explode in his hand as he held it upside down over a slice of reheated pie.

Minato’s finely honed shinobi instincts reacted without thought, tossing the small canister away from himself as they registered the ‘threat’. Unfortunately it hit the cupboard and rebounded straight towards him so he succeeded in nothing more than assaulting himself with even more sugared foam. A heartbeat passed in which his every sense sang with awareness, feeling the utter calmness of the room in contrast to the excitement he had just experienced. Then the Yondaime Hokage peeked down at himself to assess the damage.

He couldn’t help but feel just a little ridiculous. The tiny explosion had scared the life right out of him even if he hadn’t been harmed at all - unless one counted his dignity. He couldn’t help but imagine the local gossip chains in his head telling each other all about how their fearless leader had been frightened by a can of dessert topping and it made him grimace in self-deprecation as he took in the sight of his torso. He certainly wouldn’t be scaring off any enemies looking like he did right now. It was his first day off in a long while so he hadn’t been wearing a shirt all morning and thus of course he looked incredibly lewd now, like something that might have stepped right out of Jiraiya-sensei’s raunchy novels. His bare chest was liberally coated in snowy cream, some of it dripping down to catch and gather around the waistband of his lounge pants. His peripheral vision informed him that at least some had landed in his hair and he could feel the splotch that streaked across his left cheek. More than anything he felt like some sort of confectionary treat gone wrong. 

If the god’s had any kindness for him they were not exercising it that day, he decided. Just as he finished appraising the damage his kitchen door swung open and, of all the people in the entire village, the one he least wanted to see him like this walked straight in to the room. He’d forgotten in the excitement that Kakashi was only a thin wooden door away, that he’d come in to the kitchen to make tea and pie for them both since his ex-student had stopped by for a visit. 

“Sensei? What was that noi–…uh…hngh?” The younger man’s words petered out the moment he caught sight of Minato’s current state and his sentence instead ended with a rather strangled mix of letters and a low keening. The Yondaime watched as Kakashi’s visible eye widened steadily, bit by bit, until he feared for the security of its position. He watched Kakashi’s body pause between one step and the next until he had settled in to absolute stillness. Then that one eye inched down until he was staring at the mess of creamy whipped frosting and stayed there, seemingly riveted by the sight. 

“Uhm…I don’t know what happened,” The Hokage mumbled in embarrassment. “I just wanted some whipped cream. The can sort of exploded when I tried to use it.”

Kakashi gave no indication he’d heard a single word that was spoken. He was still staring at the mess. Minato drew his brows together self-consciously and fought the urge to fidget. It was hard enough to stand still around the younger man lately; doubly so now when he found himself being scrutinized so closely. 

“Kakashi?” he asked. No response. “Are you alright?” It was as if his friend were frozen to the spot, some part of his brain broken down by the admittedly silly sight in front of him. Minato spent a few moments genuinely confused about such a response until he witnessed something he had only dared think about in dreams he would never willingly admit to.

The mask hiding that face from the rest of the world had been discarded around him years ago. He therefore had a perfect view of the small pink tongue that peeked out to absent-mindedly draw across thin lips, lips that stay parted as if their owner were unaware of just how stunned he looked. What sparked the moment of realization for Minato, however, was the fact that only a second later Kakashi swallowed. Hard. And that one action changed his entire face, rearranging it in to an expression of desperation and want. Minato wondered what he wanted so badly. All he was doing was staring at his half naked old teacher all covered in whipped – oh.

Well. 

Well well. 

The Yondaime felt both of his eyebrows slowly crawling up in to his hairline as he allowed the idea to sink in that Kakashi had frozen because of the debauched picture he’d been presented with and because he - by some grace of the gods - liked what he saw. In the most wonderfully perverted way. Suddenly the attraction he’d been working so hard to keep hidden didn’t seem like it was as one-sided as he had assumed. 

Minato smiled while the inner child inside of him decided that a good situation could always be made better if you have a little fun with it. When he lifted the hand not still holding the can of topping, Kakashi’s eyes darted to follow the movement. The younger man made a strangled noise when Minato drew a single finger through the mess decorating his pectorals, swirling around a sticky nipple, before raising up to pop the appendage in to his mouth. As he sucked it clean his ex-student finally made eye contact with him again so he rewarded him with a slow deliberate wink. He could swear that Kakashi actually stopped breathing for a few heartbeats. 

“Sensei…” The single word seemed to be all that Kakashi was able to muster, and even that came out breathy and uneven. He looked unsure of what he wanted to say, as if his brain wasn’t functioning at full capacity right then, especially evident when he barely twitched to be beckoned forward with that freshly cleaned finger.

“Kakashi,” Minato purred. “Come here.” He’d never seduced anyone of the male persuasion before. His first attempt didn’t appear to be going too badly if the way Kakashi was drifting towards him in a trance-like state was any indication. When the younger man was close enough Minato reached out and snagged him by the mask pooled around his neck, using the material to draw him in until they were less than a foot apart. “I could use your help cleaning this up.” 

Alright, so maybe all of his seduction knowledge had been gleaned from his mentor’s pornographic novels. Maybe that was the cheesiest line that he had spoken in his whole life. Anyone else might have laughed at him. Kakashi, however, happened to enjoy the same raunchy literature and his reaction did not disappoint. Minato had the pleasure of watching a slow flush paint itself across that pale countenance while the deliciously exposed throat bobbed in another thick swallow. His ears twitched when they picked up the sound of harsh breathing. 

As if in a dream Kakashi swayed forward, his torso arching to keep his own chest out of the sugary mess decorating the Hokage’s form. Minato almost squealed aloud when something wet dragged up his left cheek. He turned his head to see Kakashi’s tongue withdraw back in to his mouth and watched as he seemed to contemplate the sweet cream.

“Was that the kind of help you were looking for?” 

That was all it took for Minato to all but physically melt in to a puddle right there. He’d only heard that kind of rumbling growl out of Kakashi in his most secret fantasies. Unable to properly formulate enough words to make a coherent response, he yanked on the mask still in his grip and pushed his head forward to meet the other man in the middle.

Kakashi moaned in to their first kiss, the sound reverberating through his lips and all the way down to his toes. They tilted their heads in unison, seeking a better angle as they both poured all the passion they’d been hiding from each other in to this one moment. It was hands-down the hottest kiss Minato had ever been a part of. His friend seemed determined to short-circuit his senses with nothing more than lips and tongue and it was definitely working. He was panting already when Kakashi moved his kisses away, down the side of Minato’s neck to nibble across his clavicle.

He gasped when Kakashi licked him again, cleaning whipped cream off of one peaked nipple and lapping at the surrounding area. He arched like a cat, pressing in to the sensation and letting go of Kakashi’s mask at last, his hands instead falling to grip the counter behind him as he abandoned the exploded canister to roll across the floor. His knees felt as though they were seconds away from collapsing with unexpected pleasure but he desperately wanted to stay upright. There was absolutely no way he was ending this when he’d been waiting for it for too long already. 

Like the complete tease he was, Kakashi licked his way down Minato’s chest, making random patterns and leaving patches of cream behind without care. He traced the lines of hard-earned abdominals and dipped a tongue in to a slightly ticklish belly button before following the rather prominent oblique line. Minato’s jaw hung open as he watched helplessly, unable to do more than pant and shiver and let the other man do as he wished. Kakashi’s half-gloved hands traced around his waist to give his rear a firm squeeze before trailing down the length of his legs only to come back up the sides. Clever fingers toyed with the drawstring on his trousers while that sinful tongue traced the last visible edge of skin. 

“Ah…” Minato mouthed wordlessly, small breathless sounds escaping him when Kakashi looked up to catch his eye. The moment their gazes locked Kakashi pulled on the string and Minato swallowed thickly as the only item of clothing he was currently wearing loosened and slipped off his hips, bunching on the floor around his ankles.

His cock jutted up, nearly brushing the other’s chin now that it was allowed to hang free. Kakashi smirked at him and held his eyes as he leaned down to slowly lick the tip, tiny kitten licks with just a brush of his tongue. Despite the barely-there touch it was still the best thing Minato had felt in years and it sent trembles of anticipation racing through his veins. Kakashi licked his own lips with a hum as though he’d found a flavor he thoroughly enjoyed. Then without any warning he leaned forward and took the cock before him in to his mouth, sliding down as far as he could go. 

Minato very nearly collapsed as an echoing moan was dragged out of him. Almost immediately he had to have a quick but very stern talk with his body just to avoid coming straight away from the incredible sensations threatening to overload his brain. Kakashi sank down until he could fit no more in his mouth and then stayed there, breathing through his nose and waiting until Minato met his eyes again. Then he slowly pulled away to swirl his tongue around the head and sank back down.

The rhythm he picked up was slow but steady, paced just right to bring Minato to the brink of insanity within less than a minute. Never before had he experienced such glorious torture - or at least if he had then he couldn’t think of it at the moment. He couldn’t think about very much at all just then. Every last ounce of brain power he had was steadily being sucked out of him through his cock by a very eager Kakashi. If he wasn’t sure he would die if the man stopped just now he would have tackled his friend to the floor and done what he could to show that he had a few talents hidden under his own tongue as well. But that would have to wait until he was able to unroll his eyes from the back of his head or even think a coherent thought around the mind-numbing sensations in his lower half. 

Without thinking Minato reached out to thread his fingers through the silver hair bobbing in front of him. And when Kakashi swirled his tongue just right he jerked his fistful of hair more by instinct than through any efforts to be intentionally sexy. The moan that drifted up would have been utterly filthy even if it hadn’t been delivered around a mouthful of cock, complete with vibrations that had Minato trembling against the countertop. 

“Don’t judge me,” he managed to choke out, “but I’m- fuck- don’t stop- I’m so close Kakashi!” 

His only response was another moan and fingers coming up to cup his balls ever so gently, an area he generally ignored on the rare occasion he indulged himself while alone. It had been long enough that he’d entirely forgotten how sensitive he was there. A simple roll of Kakashi’s fingers was all it took to send him tumbling over the edge. 

Embarrassment that he hadn’t been able to hold off for all that long would have to wait until later. Minato closed his eyes and curled around the body kneeling in front of him as he came with a garbled call which might have started out as Kakashi’s name. It was hard to tell. The fingers not cupping him curled around the length Kakashi hadn't been able to fit in his mouth and stroked him so gently he could only clench his own fingers around their fistfuls of hair to stop himself from curling down farther and whimper a cry for mercy. 

“You have no idea,” Kakashi murmured in a hoarse voice after he slowly pulled away, “how many times I have gotten off to the idea of doing that.” 

“Nngg!”

“Why, whatever is the matter? You looked a bit flushed.” 

Minato gurgled a few disconnected syllables in a very serious attempt to find words. When it became clear that talking was still a bit beyond him at the moment he opted instead for sliding down the countertop - ignoring the way several drawer handles dug in to his flesh uncomfortably on the way down - and pulled Kakashi in to a kiss that nearly sent smoke signals pouring out of his ears. Strong thighs found their way overtop of his own and he suddenly found himself with a lapful of his most scintillating dreams. 

While he certainly had entertained a number of fantasies that involved both of them in a kitchen, eventually sitting on the cold linoleum was enough to bring him back to reality and remind him that there were much more comfortable places they could be in. Namely the bedroom. Or the couch, that was a lot closer. He had an inkling that Kakashi would be amenable to either. It still took him a couple minutes longer to remember how proper speech worked but that had quite a bit to do with the phenomenal kisses stealing his words all over again. 

“You should stay for dinner,” he managed to blurt out eventually. When Kakashi pulled away a few inches to look at him consideringly Minato licked his lips with a nervous twitch. “Or if you’re busy tonight then I could take you to dinner this Friday? No ramen, I promise. You deserve better than just ramen!” 

“Maa, if you’re trying to sweet talk me it’s a bit of wasted time.”

“Oh.”

For a single heartbeat Minato wondered if he could convince the ground to open up and swallow him. 

“I’m already as sweet on you as I’m going to get.” Kakashi winked, his lips pulled up in a mischievous grin. Minato wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss it away or swat it. He settled for an exasperated huff. 

“That was terrible,” Minato scolded him. Kakashi laughed and ducked in for another kiss. 

“Excuse you, my jokes are masterpieces!”

“Of terribleness!” 

Both of them glared playfully, sizing each other up like they meant to go to war, until eventually Minato realized he was sitting on his own kitchen floor with his pants around his ankles and a fully clothed man across his hips. If the awkwardness of being the only one naked weren’t enough, his ass was definitely feeling the chill of the poorly insulated tiles now. He cleared his throat with a distinctly sheepish note and tilted his head towards the hall.

“I don’t suppose we could take our dinner negotiations to the bedroom, could we? Before I freeze both of my buns off?” 

He’d never seen Kakashi move so quickly outside of battle, leaping up and pulling him to his feet within seconds. 

“We can’t have that!” he declared. “I have a vested interest in those buns and freezing them off is not on my to-do list. At least not until we’ve had our first big fight and I toss you out in to the cold to think about what you’ve done.” 

“Ah, I see. And I suppose making it up to you will take some begging?”

“Quite a lot of it, yes.” Kakashi nodded solemnly. Then he turned his head away to hide the smile breaking out across his face, enjoying his own joke just a little too much. Or possibly he was imagining what filthy deeds the two of them might get up to once begging got involved. Minato had to admit that he was very tempted to ask. 

Instead he shuffled his weight from side to side, kicking his trousers off each ankle one by one. When he was free he set both hands on his hips to display his body in all its naked glory. He knew very well that he was an attractive man, although hopefully the little bits of creamy residue left on his skin didn’t take away from that too much.

“First one to the bedroom gets to be on top,” he declared. Then he bolted.

Behind him he could hear the echo of Kakashi’s indignant protests that this wasn’t a fair contest, going up against the fastest man in the village, and the laughter bubbling up in his chest very nearly put him off balance as he raced down the hall. He couldn’t find it in himself to be upset when he almost lost because of that. The two of them collapsed across the bed in a messy heap of tangled limbs and Minato could only think that this was it, this was the missing puzzle piece he’d been yearning after for years. 

And he owed it all to a faulty can of whipped cream. When Kakashi came over that afternoon neither of them could have predicted that this was where they would end up - but as he listened to the sinful noises playing out beneath him Minato thought happily that neither of them seemed all that disappointed. He was sure most customers would have immediately taken the canister back to the shop and demanded a refund. As for him, well, he was already drafting a letter of thanks in his mind for the company that made them. He owed them every smile and every laugh that he would ever taste for himself from this day forward, every anniversary they would ever celebrate, every touch of calloused fingers over old and faded scars. All this because of a little whipped cream.

Excited as he was for their current activities, Minato couldn’t wait until later. Of all the people he knew only Kakashi, with his equally terrible sense of humor, would appreciate the pun of how very sweet the results of this accident had been. 

#rae writes #minakaka #minato #kakashi #fanfiction #the little wip that could #for reals this has been a wip for so long #just take it

[gibbering-miasma]

I think I know how Warcraft’s casters work

It started with a simple question.  Why can mages summon water elementals?  It’s a simple question that resulted in me noticing other elements of overlap among the Warcraft casters.  Not only can mages summon elementals, but fire mages and destruction warlocks can appear to be the same class at a first look. (Especially if the person doing the looking isn’t very experienced, we all know you, yes you, can easily tell the difference.  The point is that two classes that seem to predominantly use fire magic are very similar.)  eventually it got to the point where my initial question changed from “why can one class do this thing while another class can’t?” tonly to change again to

 “What really is the difference between the casters of Warcraft?”

I want to be transparent here, I have not read Chronicle yet.  I have the books (thanks again for that, you know who you are) but I wanted to get this theory properly formed first so i don’t spoil my biases.  That leads me to another thing, this is just the theory of a guy who’s spent most of his life on this game who’s noticed a few odd dots and decided to connect them to see what picture they make.  Blizzard can disprove this at any time with a word, because in the end, they’re the creators, and I’m just a fan.  One last thing, I’m certain that there are some examples or details that i’ll get wrong (not playing the most recent expansions will tend to leave a sample size less than optimal) so if there’s an error that I’ve made, call me out on it.  This may be a fan theory, but I want it to make sense.

To answer my previous question (what really makes the difference between Warcraft casters for those of you in the back), I think the primary difference is philosophy, not the type of magic that each class uses.  What I mean by this is the general worldview, character traits, and relationship with magic that each class has.  Obviously there are going to be outliers, mortals tend to mess with the systems like that, but this should be a good place to begin our analysis. When analyzing the casters, we see four main philosophies develop.  I’d argue that those four are the philosophies of the Druid, Mage, Warlock and Shaman.  I’ll include the other classes that I believe to best line up with those philosophies.  I’ll focus on the primary casters of those philosophies, though I’ll use a few examples from the other classes that are philosophically adjacent. 

And just so we’re all on the same page here, I’m assuming that magic is inherently sentient, and the overall type of magic used has no effect on your class.  With all that out of the way, let’s begin.

Druid/Priest/Paladin- Philosophy of Faith.

The druid is the only class that willingly enters a state of unconsciousness and allows their magic to work through them, causing metamorphosis in the process.  The primary tenets of the druidic philosophy are Faith and Dedication.  The druid venerates the Wild much in the same way that a priest or paladin venerates the Light.  What all of this means is that the druid views themselves as inferior to the Wild (or whatever source of magic you prefer).  Power is attained not through study or ambition, but by submission and faith, resulting in power being granted as a boon.  But it’s not all fluffy cats and boomkins for the druid, their submission and faith means that they are not necessarily in control.  We clearly see this to be the case with the druids of the pack (and the same case can be made for the druids of the flame, but I’m unsure on whether ragnaros forced the flame druids to do his bidding or if they were just crazy like that). Spouting character traits with no examples won’t do us any good, so let’s rectify that by taking a look at Tyrande Whisperwind, a great example of the philosophy of faith.  Yes, Tyrande is a priest, not a druid, but remember that the important thing about the classes is their philosophy, not the type of magic that they use.  As a priest, Tyrande answers to the will of Elune, and will prioritize the will of the White Lady over anything else (consider the quote “Only the goddess may forbid me anything” from warcraft 3).  Not only that, but Tyrande also becomes the vessel for a portion of Elune’s power during the Horde’s invasion, showing similarity to the powers that druids receive and use from their Wild Gods.  The similarity between druids and priests could be a reason why those two classes are the major casters in Night elf society following the War of the Ancients.  And before you start denying my claim that priests and druids are basically the same, let me ask you this:  If Elune wanted Tyrande to willingly enter an unconscious state in order to become a more capable vessel of Her power, would Tyrande do it?  I say that she would, because putting aside your own desires, fears and reservations in order to serve your higher power is the definition of dedication, it is the definition of faith, and it is exactly what makes a druid what they are.

Shaman- Philosophy of Synergy

The shaman’s relationship with their magic is exactly that, a relationship.  I get the suspicion that I may have lost a few of you there so I’ll explain.  The druid fully submits in order to gain power, whereas classes like the warlock will just take as they see fit.  The shaman exists between those two extremes, they work alongside the elements and it is through that cooperation that they grow their abilities.  Of course, the shaman also experiences their own fair share of magical difficulties.  They are still drawing their power from sentient beings that may not always want to comply with the shaman’s wishes.  This leaves the shaman with a difficult situation, especially if their magic rebels during a time where the shaman doesn’t have the means to deal with any of that nonsense.  The shaman must cooperate with their magic unless they fall to dark shamanism and force their magic to submit, which is the exact domain of the Warlock.

Warlock/Warrior- Philosophy of Dominion

The warlock does not ask for power, nor does it work alongside their demons for mutual benefit (I mean really, do you think that your minions are there by choice?).  I alluded to the warlock’s modus operandi earlier, and now I get to delve deeper.  The warlock takes power as they see fit, often draining it straight from their enemies.  The warlock will then add that magic into their own reserves, bending the magic to their will and growing in power.  A warlock’s magic can be said to be a part of them in a more literal manner than any of the other four casters.  This habit of taking power from others is actually quite common in the Warcraft universe, (look at all the Blood elves for instance) but i’ll highlight the 3 biggest examples of the warlock philosophy.  Ragnaros the firelord, Garrosh Hellscream and Illidan Stormrage all are well known for having a desire for more power, while also having the ambition and skill to go out and get that power for themselves without having to plead to some other entity for assistance.  Ragnaros consumed prince Thunderan, Garrosh merged with the heart of Y'Shaarj, and Illidan consumed the Skull of Gul’dan, and all three established control over their new power, and not the other way around.  Just as a shaman who forces the elements to work for them isn’t much of a shaman, a warlock who is controlled by their power isn't much of a warlock.   

Mage/Hunter/Rogue/Monk- Philosophy of Discipline

The other casters all have very distinct relationships with their magic.  Warlocks must be constantly in control, druids are always trying to appease, and shamans just want everyone to calm down and talk about their feelings.  And then we have the mage, who doesn’t have much of a relationship at all.  To the mage, magic is a tool, one that should be respected, but a tool nonetheless.  Khadgar used the skull of Gul’dan to close the Dark Portal with no negative side effects.  Whereas Illidan barely has his hands on the thing for a minute before he’s undergoing radical transformations and sprouting new appendages.  When trying to name this section, I had initially selected Mastery as a good means of describing the Mage’s philosophy.  Mastery had made sense to me, the mage is the master of their magic, they display control and authority over their power in a way that is distinct from the warlock, and their utilitarian view towards magic separates them from shamans or druids.  So why the change?  Why does Discipline describe the mage better than Mastery?  Because in a world where dragons rearrange continents, the dead walk, and where tyrants exist around every corner, the mortals of Azeroth need someone to keep a clear head when the demons are dead and their power is being divided among the victors.  The mage is the embodiment of mortal authority in relation to magic, they lock questionable powers away so that those who would misuse that power could do no harm to innocents.  The mage is a Guardian, the kind of person who has no interest in being warped into some sort of magical pawn to a higher power.  They put their trust in their skill with their power, not the overall amount of power that they can wield like how a warlock would.

The Hero Classes

If you’ve been keeping track, you may notice that I haven't included two classes, those being the hero classes.  The reason I haven’t included them yet is because of the fundamental difference between them and the other classes.  A number of people have wondered what exactly makes a hero class, and while I don’t claim to know the exact truth, I think I have an additional pearl to add.  Hero classes are a state of being, whereas the base classes are more like a career.  If you want to understand a hero class, you have to understand what they are, not who they are.  Furthermore, I believe that both the Death Knight and Demon Hunter are adjacent philosophically to two of the other philosophies previously mentioned.  This doesn’t mean that Death Knights are automatically really, really edgy druids, just that they’re an offshoot.

Death Knight-Philosophy of Tyranny

Offshoot of the philosophy of Faith

What, did you think I was kidding about DKs being druids?  Lets step back and ask the fundamental question: what are Death Knights?  Simply put, DKs are dark magic inhabiting and controlling a mortal vessel.  Yes, that does sound like something a warlock would do, but remember that it’s magic controlling a mortal, much like what we see with Druids.  Plus, saying Death Knights are related to Druids has more panache, so i’m going with that one.  To the DK, power is their birthright, and they will take and abuse and consume as they see fit.  Nothing is sacred from their will, not the blood in your veins, nor the flesh on your back, nor the final, cold breath you give before you’re raised as an undead servant.  The DK does not necessarily take to grow their power, they take to fulfill their desires-which is usually to kill a lot of people.

Demon Hunter- Philosophy of Unity

Offshoot of the philosophy of Synergy

Once again, what are DHs?  While DKs are magic possessing and dominating a vessel, the DH is more than that.  They are a combination of mortal soul and demon.  The DH is the product of a perfect union between two distinct soulstuffs.  Now here’s the important thing, I’m trying to distinguish between the Illidari, and the Demon Hunters themselves, which can be hard when you remember that pretty much every Demon Hunter is Illidari.  The reason this separation is so important is that the Illidari with their whole “fight fire with fire, we shall take the demons' own magic and use it against them as our own” is a very warlock-ish thing to do.  But I’ll maintain that the DHs identity points towards being more closely adjacent to the philosophy of Synergy than Dominion.

 So why can mages summon water elementals?  Because mages have power, just like anybody else.  And power itself doesn’t have much significance, what matters is how you use it.  

This has been a somewhat deep dive into the philosophy of Warcraftian magic, with the end goal of gaining a deeper understanding of the various classes, and the characters within the Warcraft universe. 

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#wow

[horseyfuture]

Lockdown 2021

Welcome, you sickening metallic pervert. I don’t know why I even tolerate you, my dues to the club have long since been settled and yet still you show up with your corrugated spleen and your laminated nipples. What? Oh, it’s you. With your simple fleshy appendages and some kind of yellow blancmange for a CPU. I suppose you will suffice. Bend yourself over the table there and we’ll get on with the show. Liquid soap’s on the side, next to the antique bum-hammer.

---

Aries: You find yourself repeatedly followed by crows. This is in no way related to the quite normal phenomenon in which a murder of crows will adopt a human who feeds them, bringing them trinkets and even offering them protection from aggressors. No, these crows find you sexy. Leaping about in your lounge, wearing your goth tops and flapping your arms to the rhythms of online parties, the crows all agree that you are “SKRARK!” or, in Crow, “one fine piece of floppy human tail”. Well done! Crows have good taste and make excellent lovers.

Taurus: Every time you open that damn Taurus mouth of yours, you sound like a broken record. I mean, literally, you sound like a piece of badly scratched vinyl. That’s been up the wrong bit of a rhino. And is being played using a bent nail. Through the speakers of a brown ‘65 Ford Allegro. In Ipswitch. In the rain. On a Wednesday. In November. That’s a lot of detail to pack into an accent every time you decide to prattle on about crisps. People find it offputting.

Gemini: On a whim, you buy yourself a File-o-fax, you know, from the 80s. You must have seen one in a kitschy American TV show or something. While excessively bored on a Sunday afternoon, you begin to fill in some of the entries from your mobile phone. As soon as you finish writing the first one, Adam, he calls! What a crazy coincidence! You move onto the next, Beth - then SHE calls! That’s just insane! As you move onto the next name, you think “My god, what if I bought a MAGICAL File-o-fax? What adventures could I HAVE?” - You look down at the table in awe, when suddenly it all becomes clear: next to the Magic File-o-fax is the Magic Empty Bottle of Gin. Ah.

Cancer: Singing a song about beans, YEAH! Singing a song about toast! Singing a song about beans on toast, ‘cos that food you like the most, WOO! Singing a song about waffles? NO! Can’t be arsed making them! Beans on toast takes like two tiny minutes and waffles take about fucking ten! (FUCK THAT!) Singing a song into the beans can! While the beans turn in the microwave, ALRIGHT! Naming individual beans (YEAH!) pretend they’re all going to a beans rave! (WHISTLE POSSE!) Shovelling the beans into your mouth WOO! Toasting bread is for twats! (LO-SERS!) Pouring cold beans onto your face and half of them fall onto the cat! (SEND HELP!)

Leo: After a successful hour’s staring at the stippled ceiling, you reward yourself with a brisk walk to the door. After three proud steps, diligently recorded by your fitness band (which you’re fairly certain is now emitting a dull weeping sound), you jubilantly punch the air and have a nice relaxing pass out on the floor. After another few hours, you surf another boost of energy and nearly make it to the fridge. Sadly, though this goal is destined to elude you as you trip over a recently-delivered Amazon envelope. A handful of attempts in, you succeed at opening the envelope (only stopping twice to catch breath) and discover it to contain one flimsy plastic finger measurer and a £60 voucher for a wine subscription. You remember the partner you once had, in the distant before times, so vibrant and loud. In recognition of having had what you’re certain is “a feeling”, you fling the ring-measurer away, order the wine and settle into a nice, relaxing cry.

Virgo: There are a number of St Bernards around your neighbourhood and you’ve started to find them more than a little intimidating. What began as friendly barks as you passed in the street has developed into the odd growl and now barking as the owners pull their wretched beasts back from you, swearing in anguish as their hounds’ slavering jaws snap at your heels. After a few weeks of this, Monthly Bath Weekend inevitably comes round and the problem seems to just go away.

Libra: Some people have been baking recently. They - of course - are twats. Others have chosen to use this time to improve existing music skills, or even pick up a new instrument in their abundance of free time. Shit-eating scum, each and every one of them. You are not going to be affected by this self-improvement bullshit and have decided to strike out on your own, tangibly making yourself less pleasant, skilled and attractive with each passing day. Monday is fudge-eating class. Tuesday, “how long can I sit on the loo?” marathons (5 hours PB). Wednesday is Yelling ‘BASTARDS’ at the Sky Day, while Thursday (being the new Friday) you party on down with a life-size model of Prince made from your own toenails. Friday you slam your face into cupboards, repeating the word “APES” in a dull monotone. At the weekend, it’s time to rest! Phew! Just a few hours drilling holes in the ceiling, a slip, a tumble, a fall, a crunching sound and a view from the underside of a very poorly constructed step-ladder until it all goes beautifully dark.

Scorpio: Fuck this, you’re buying beach balls. Yep. Why not? You do, in fact, buy beach balls. Why didn’t you think of this before? They’re bright. They’re entertaining. They’re CHEAP. You can order them in large quantities, it turns out. “Ooh, I hope you’re not having a party!” says the delivery man, with a wink “HAHAHAH, NO. Actually I’m just INFLATING THEM AND POPPING THEM” you cackle toward his suddenly retreating face. It takes a while to inflate all 400, but the high you get from blowing them up is quite intense! Now you have a house full of beach balls! Haha! You can’t bring yourself to pop them in the end. Some of them are lost to accidents (fried beach ball, anyone?) and others you draw on with crude faces of past enemies, then open the door and punt them down the street with a hearty “FUCK YOU, BEATRICE!” (or Ken, as appropriate. You had few enemies. It’s cheap therapy). The last few hundred last you happily into the next month, though the doctor is mildly unimpressed when you attempt to get them vaccinated.

Sagittarius: Your attempts at making LEGO sex toys go badly to begin with. But, weirdly, you do eventually get better at it. You’re particularly proud of the one where you use the gearbox from the racing car for, well, you know. The winking pneumatic sex-donkey (8,014 bricks) is, in most people’s opinion, your pièce de résistance. You can’t wait for the highstreet to open up again, so you can go and show off your repertoire down the local toyshop.

Capricorn: It’s tough getting through lockdown without the internet. In your case, though, it is entirely self-inflicted. You made a promise to yourself to cut down on the doomscrolling and it was successful! Prodigiously so! You end up cutting out the news sites - who needs them? - then the social sites - nothing but trash! - then eventually you just pull the wires out of your router and fling it in the bin with some bits of leftover chicken. Time passes, politicians come and go, vaccines are invented, distributed, mostly successful (with only a small amount of people instantly turning into tiny, angry lizards) and eventually the world passes through the danger period and back into something like normality! You, of course, miss this entirely and get on with your new hobby of writing subversive poetry on the walls in dollops of mouldy Marmite. Weirdly, you ARE happier.

Aquarius: Lockdown doesn’t seem to be getting to you too badly this month (whichever month it turns out to be). You did get to a bit of a peak when you were popping a Toblerone up your bum while playing kazoos just to get yourself ready for the next bloody Zoom meeting of the day, you now you’re limiting it to one bar per day and only using the two kazoos, you feel like you’ve hit your stride, found your flow, really made the most of every work-from-home hour the Lord sends. Ah, yes, the Lord truly has kept you to the virtuous path. Without your faith, you would never have got through the dark days. Sat there on his throne of Bourbons, wearing his Chocolate Finger crown. Slowly rotating on the lazy Susan you bought so you could efficiently respect His Majesty from any angle with a deft flick of the wrist (and a few Bourbons in the eyes if you get too excited). The mighty Lord. You assume his name was Lord. There were only a few letters you could read on the collar when you found him by the bins. Ah, yes. The bins. The biscuits. The Lord. The rapture. Amen.

Pisces: After popping to the door to bring in a food delivery, you notice the day looks quite pleasant for a change, pop a mask on and go for a nice walk. On the way back, you notice a ladder leant up against a tree, with a strange golden light shimmering from high in the branches. Climbing the ladder, you hear the sound of a party, people calling your name in joy, whistles and whoops, clapping and laughter. You tumble into the golden light and down a kind of shoot as a fanfare plays. The dazzling light fades, the noise abates gently and you are sat on your sofa. On the TV are the words “LEVEL 4: YODELLING GEESE”. The geese filling your living room immediately begin to yodel with anger.

---

By the sainted elbows of Bobby Tavistocke, we got there in the end. I may have been a little over-brutal with my use of the bum-hammer there, for which I apologise. Anyway, you have extracted your price once more and I have little left to give. Pick up your clothes and get out of my living room.

As usual, you may of course take a fairy cake. We’ve got the nice ones this week.

DEPART!

[spikeisawesome456]

So... I decided to do all of these asks, because I was bored. :-D 

Obscure Asks.

1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Uhh… Comfortably. I tend to just wear yoga pants, graphic t-shirts, and a Dipper hat.

2. if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Ohhh… I both want to say lots of things, and nothing. Because on one hand, there are things about me that annoy me (I overshare, I sometimes get insanely hyper, like now, I can be really mean/rude, etc.…), but on the other hand, I do enjoy who I am. For all my faults, I am proud of the person I’ve become, and the person I’m still becoming. Maybe I’d make my memory better, so I could really utilize my intelligence, and stop forgetting people’s names because it’s starting to get really rude.

3. what movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? Eh… I like to play Stardew Valley, but it doesn’t help me calm down. I play it when I’m calm. It actually used to stress me out… probably not a good example. Uh… Nothing, I guess. Music helps. Sometimes. Basically, when I’m stressed, the only thing that can help is solving the problem or ignoring the problem. And if I can’t ignore it, I just… get stressed. Hugging my mom sometimes helps.

4. what does your room smell like? Like… a room? It smells okay? It recently smells like Maple Cinnamon Pancakes, because I got a Maple Cinnamon Pancake candle from Bath and Body Works, so… yeah?

5. do you like to organize? Ehh… Like to, yes. Do I do it? Noooo….

6. what kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Why Would You Ask Me This???????????? Also I’m assuming this means genre. But… Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

7. what song is your aesthetic? Um… I don’t really know my Aesthetic? I’m a bit all over the place. Girly, tom boy, shiny, glittery, matte…. Fast, slow, everything in between and outside. If you know of a song like that, then that’s me! Otherwise… Eh.

8. what color do you think goes best with your personality? Uh… No idea. I like blue, though. I’m not that calm a person, though. Well, sometimes, but not always. Well, it depends on what you mean by calm. So… Probably purple, a mix between loud red/orange and cool blue.

9. do you believe in auras? Not… really? A little? Like, we each have our own personal feel, and energy. Like, in a psychological way. But in the color way? Not really. Can people feel other’s energy better than others? Sure! But that’s just a hyper awareness of self and other, not a “six sense,” or whatever.

10. what do you wish you hated, but actually like? I don’t wish to hate anything.

11. vague about your crush(es) I… don’t have any. I decided a long time ago that crushes were stupid, after I ruined a good friendship with my weird crush. Plus, I don’t spend enough time around people to develop crushes.

12. is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Not… really? Some of my old professors, maybe. My Abnormal Psychology professor was nice, sometimes, but could say such mean things at times about people with mental illness.

13. talk about an au or story you came up with Oh! I made up a story about a man who has two sons (though I changed it so one child, the elder, was a daughter in the last edit, so…) who sold his soul to keep them safe and happy, after he lost all his money when his business partner skipped town and left his embezzlement charges with the man. The man didn’t get sent to jail, since the small town had pity on him, but he did lose all his money, meaning his eldest, now a daughter, had to steal. Hating that, he made a deal with the devil. 2 years later, the devil (who isn’t evil, but more like the Jewish idea of the devil, who is a temptation) comes knocking and the man learns that instead of taking his soul, since the devil would get it at his death regardless (in order to make a deal with the devil you had to commit the greatest sin, murder, thus tainting your soul), the devil took the thing you loved most. For selfish men, it would be their fame and money. For lustful men, it would be their object of affection. For the man, who had made the deal for selfless reasons, it was his children, whom he loved more than anything.

The plot would have gone into the man trying to escape the devil, who graciously gave him a week to prepare, but I didn’t know how to write it, and it’s kind of been in my notes on my iPod for years. It would have ended with the devil catching up to the family, with the man finally begging the devil to let his children live, that it wasn’t their fault. And the devil would have smiled, sweetly, before killing the children while the man watched. As the devil turned away, the man would have brokenly asked why? Why he couldn’t have left them alone? And the devil would have chuckled sadly and said that it was what had always been planned. That the entire chase had been futile from the very first moment. The devil had sympathy for the man, but he couldn’t go against the orders of God (my version of the devil is kinder, more sympathetic to the plights of humans, since I view the “devil” not as an enemy, but as, I previously mentioned, a temptation. He tempts people, on God’s orders, but doesn’t have any true animosity towards humanity. He just follows orders). Finally, the man begs the devil to kill him, to end his suffering, that even an eternity in Hell would be better than living knowing he killed his children. And then, I’m split on the ending. In the dream that inspired this story, the devil smiles wickedly and says, “I thought you’d never ask,” before bashing the man (me, in the dream) over the head with a bat, since in the dream the devil was eviler. But I think it’s more poignant to let the devil laugh softly again, turn, and say “Oh, my dear man. That’s the whole point,” before walking away/disappearing.

Anyway, that was my main story idea. I really like it, and wrote about 20,000 words for it, but got stuck on the middle part. I wanted to add an old friend of the man’s, who became an alcoholic following the death of one of their old friends. The friend group fell apart after the man left for plot reasons, which I don’t have time to explain, and it grew worse until one of their friends died, and the whole friend group fell apart and she became an alcoholic. However, I wasn’t sure if this subplot took away from the whole plot, and I felt it was written poorly, so I kind of gave up. Plus, I had no idea what obstacles the devil could put in their way, since I don’t know religion. Though… I am currently taking a bible course in college, so maybe I’ll revisit the story. If anyone wants to read what I have, send me a message. :-)

14. do you like makeup? Eh… Depends. I sometimes like it. Also, after writing about my whole story, going back to these questions just feel weird. Eh.

15. do you prefer space or the ocean? I like the ocean, since I can see it more often. Though, I love looking at the stars when I can. I just live in a city with tons of light pollution and can’t ever see the stars.

16. if you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? ????? What other planets could I live on??? I don’t know any real planets that have life on them, and none of the 7 others we have interest me much. Or is this fictional? In which case… I don’t know?

17. what form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) Um… this took a dark turn. “Hey, what’s your favorite color??” “Do you like makeup??? :-D” “What is your political preference, you capitalist/commie scum???” This question just feels like a trap the cops laid in the middle of a silly, fun little quiz.

18. what animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? I’d keep a cat, but I’m allergic. And a little afraid. Also, I think this means like, wild animal, or mythical creature, but I wouldn’t want to keep a wild animal captive, even if I could. Same with mythical creature.

19. what do you think our purpose is in the universe? To do our best and to enjoy the life we’ve been given. This relates to the next question, but I believe that if there is a God, they’d want us to enjoy life.

20. do you believe in god(s)? Continuing from the last question, yes and no. I believe in a higher power, since I don’t see how the entire universe and life can just be random, but I don’t really believe in “God” or “gods” as humans have imagined them, as helpful or destructive forces that meddle with humanity. I believe they would be a high creature, humans unable to sense them since we don’t have the body parts available to “see” them. There would likely be multiple higher beings, but it is possible one is in charge of earth, to look over us. Though, no miracle granting or listening in, since they probably aren’t on the same timeline we are, or an entire generation to us is a second to them. The afterlife is tricky, which is why I’m so terrified to die, so I won’t go into it. But, long story short, yes. I do believe in a sort of “God.” What they mean to earth, what they want with us, I don’t know. But I do believe something created the universe, and watches over the various planets. Also, I believe that other planets have life, and that aliens may or may not have visited earth, but if they did, we might not have known, since, like with “God,” we don’t have the appendages or body parts available to “see” them. I mean, if we didn’t have eyes or ears, we’d never know what we were missing. Who knows what we can’t “see” because we don’t have the right parts?

21. is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Ehh…. Nothing, really. But, there was a P!nk song I had to turn off halfway through. Not because I hated it, but because it reminded me of my family too much it hurt. I didn’t really like the song, but it was okay. I think it was called Family Portrait? Update, I looked it up, and yes, it is called Family Portrait, by P!nk. It’s not completely similar to my family, but it’s close enough that it just… hurt.

22. what ex do you miss the most, if you have one? If you never date, you can never have an ex you miss the most. *Insert guy tapping his forehead meme here*

23. do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft ones. Who… who likes rough blankets??? What??? I mean, I prefer smoother ones, I guess, to super fluffy. But rough? Really??

24. what is your favorite thing to learn about? Psychology!!! I love it!

25. what country’s history do you find the most interesting? Um… I don’t really like history. I’m taking a history class, though, and I liked Islam’s history. No one country, but the history of the Middle East and Islam.

26. what do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) I think this is one where you had to send in a question for. So, feel free to ask me about any genderbend you like, but warning: I tend not to like genderbent characters. I just think it’s weird, and pointless. Especially if you genderbend a character to make a gay ship straight. Like… dude. Or, vice versa, to make a straight ship gay. It’s just… unnecessary. Make new characters or find a different ship.

27. what breakup was the hardest, if you had one? *insert answer from question 22, but exchange “Ex you miss the most” for “hardest breakup”

28. do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? Not really. Going back to question 11, I don’t spend enough time around people to really know. But, as I have weird understandings of friendship and love, as well as a deep loneliness that makes me emotionally invested in anyone who is even slightly a friend, this sort of happens all the time. I just want to be less lonely, usually. I’m just… bad at people. I tend not to like them, and they bore me, yet I long to be around people and have friends. So. Lots of contradictions.

29. what do you think about Tumblr discourse? Eh. I think most of it is stupid. Just… chill. The world sucks, it’s best just to do things you enjoy, don’t sweat the small stuff. Even the big stuff. If there’s nothing you can do, just… move on. Live with it, and live your life. Don’t yell at random people, even If they’re “terrible.” Nothing is black and white, and as soon as you start attacking others because of your opinion, you’re becoming a person in the wrong, even if your view is virtuous. No one is right. No one is wrong. It’s just a matter of opinion. Now, does that mean you shouldn’t argue your point? No! Your view is valid and if it matters to you, express it. But don’t hate on another because of it. Or else you lose your virtue, your moral “righteousness.” Sorry, this went in a wrong direction. But… yeah.

30. what instrument do you wish you could master? Piano, guitar, and violin. Piano the most, though.

31. how easy is it for you to be honest? Pretty easy? I tend to be honest, most often, because I don’t really see why not. But it’s also easy to tell white lies or to omit truths, if it makes my life easier. So. Eh.

32. do you have any strange interests? Nothing I can really think of? Nothing that other people aren’t interested in. I like collecting coins, but so do many others.

33. do you have any strange fears? Ehh… I’m a bit afraid of animals, but it’s mostly because I’m afraid of them hurting me, which isn’t really strange?? So… again, not really? Most of my fears are common. Maybe my fear of holes? Like, on the skin? But people have that fear, too. And it’s less a fear and more of a disgust.

34. what food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Anything I can, really. I tend not to get super hungry, so I only eat when I’m bored or “lazy”, or when I know people should eat. Also, I dislike calling it lazy, since I think that’s a negative word for a more complicated feeling. For me, at least.

35. when you get angry, how do you show it? I tend to go quiet and seethe. I don’t usually yell, though I will if the other person (my dad usually) is yelling. I prefer leaving the room, though, or else getting all “righteous”. Like, righteous fury, though I’m not always righteous when I get angry.

36. do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Dude, yes. I tend to crack my knuckles/twist my hands impulsively/nervously. I also tap/rub my thumb against my fingers, or move my foot. Mostly when I’m “hyper,” or possibly manic. Otherwise, when I’m more down, it’s just the cracking knuckles thing.

37. what do you listen to music on? iPod/Phone, and my computer. I tend not to listen to radio. Sometimes I’ll listen to new music on YouTube, but it’s mostly iTunes/the iPod/phone music app.

38. are you left brained or right brained? Well, we all have both right and left brains, so I am both. Since no one side of the brain can be really more dominant. Unless part of your brain is dead, like my mother’s, who is more right brained, since parts of her left brain died when she was born. But, since I understand what this question is asking, I am, really, both. I’m creative and logical. Shocker.

39. earbuds or headphones? Oh, headphones, every time. I HATE earbuds. They always fall out of my ears. I mean I’ll take them if I have nothing else, but I hate them.

40. do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Eh…. I tend to have heavy blankets, even though it’s hot where I am, and I need a fan to keep me cool. So. Yeah.

[calyfornian]

Keylo and Cataleya : It's Dead

"I've been giving a lot more thought, to the whole, humans cohabitating, thing." Cataleya took a soft puff at her nearly needle thin cigar. On the exhale, smoke danced out of full lips onto tan skin, before disappearing at her perfectly upright, pointed nose.

The sun was setting her up to glow beside her brother in all of her 6'6 glory. Bare feet attached to mile long legs in painted on black denim. More than half of her midsection was bare, with a long piece of black fabric tied around her chest, and the long end of one of the strands of the knot hanging down the right side of her body; it might have been a scarf.

"What's been on your mind, sister?" Stout, 6'2 Keylo hopped up from the curb in one fluent motion that required absolutely no effort. His bare, dark skin glistened in sweat as the direct sunlight kissed his skin. Beside his sister, he pulled his full, black, curly hairy into a bunch in his hand, before sliding the band off his wrist and doing a weak job at containing the locks.

"I understood that during the extinction, humans existed together, the strong ones, anyway. Like it would make sense to have your strongest soldiers to-"

"You don't have any cigarettes on you, do you?" Keylo interrupted while dropping four hits of enthia in his right eye.

"Give me a moment," Cataleya was gone from the left side of her brother instantly.

With Keylo on his fifth round of enthia in an hour, he let the instant effect help him to enjoy the other wise boring view of nature reclaiming an abandoned gas station out of a viable quadrant. Vines wrapped around what was left of three pillars holding up the roof by the pumps. A tree, broken entirely through the concrete in the corner of the lot by the half dirt, half cement road. Branches long, and full swaying in the stirring breeze of the afternoon.

It almost had an opportunity to be captivating, if the soft sound of an uneven flutter hadn't made Keylo jump thirty feet north, one hand to the ground, legs bent to leap at a moment's notice.

From sixty yards away, he had spotted what had to be an uncharacteristically small demigon dart into the tree, as to conceal itself. Like maybe the unusual flutter was that of an unusual enemy, maybe one of those damn things near death; hard to say when there had never been one so tiny to emerge from a portal. At least not in his 124 years.

And to see something out of the ordinary, after knowing his ordinary for over a century, especially after his brush with death, he was more than reluctant to investigate what could be a brand new threat; and he wasn't going to climb back into that damn bed again.

No leap to get there, no sprint. His steps were light, and deliberate, bare feet sure not to snap a twig, or brush a pebble. He even stopped breathing, so he knew, from what he could distinguish between the wind rustling the leaves, and the steady drip from what was left of the room of the ruin like gas station, that whatever had darted into that tree, was no longer fluttering. Which could have meant a couple things.

Like maybe, it had been some dying demigon, that existed outside of the six to eight foot height he had been accustomed throughout his life, and throughout history. Or maybe, whatever it was, had spotted him from a mile away. Maybe, whatever the small black, fluttering thing was that had fallen silent, was waiting for the right time, to dart across the space between them, and drive itself through his chest. He stepped lighter, like he might get the jump on it, and picked up a heavy rock for a projectile, if that flying thing was the latter.

He's maybe five yards from the base of the tree, wind tussling lose strands of black hair, when the small black winged thing flies from the bottom of the thicket. Without hesitation, Keylo fires the rock from his hand, clipping one of the wings, and with feeling like he has the jump on it, darts to where it had plummeted back to earth.

Five feet away from him, in some tall grass, was the small black winged beast. It had to be maybe the size of his massive hand. Symmetrical as all hell. Two appendages coming out of the base of the body that were, twig like, with three claws at the ends of them. The bulk of it, compact, tiny, covered in, maybe, hair, but not like any hair he had seen. It was black, sheen, and very uniform, tight, all over it's body, as if each of the black hairs grew out of the base of another firmer hair. The same hair adorned the right wing, and what would have adorned the left, if the stone hadn't torn it off.

A couple steps closer, before leaping back fifteen feet when it started to writhe before him.

"What's that?"

"Fuck," on instinct, Keylo shot around with an open right palm to attack the new entity behind him. Which ended up being a mistake, when his sister's quicker reflexes only had him crashing his hand into an invisible wall, which prompted another, "FUCK!"

"Christ, Keylo, what's wrong with you," Cataleya said with a cigarette between her teeth as a lighter floated up to the end, and ignited it.

"You gave me a fright." Keylo was forcing his palm back into alignment to ensure proper healing.

"I see that. You really went full force there," a long drag before floating the cigarette to Keylo's full lips.

"Yeah, I just, there's this I guess-demigon." He turned his attention back to the shaking black, hairy, beast, the size of his hand, with some kind of, appendage, jutting out of what had to be eyes.

"That ain't a demigon like I've ever seen." Cataleya floated forward passed her brother.

"Wait, Cat. You don't know what it's going to do." Keylo took a stride to stay beside her.

"Calm down, brother, I've got it."  The bird began to levitate off the ground and head towards the two of them until it was right at eye level with the siblings.

"Did it attack you?" Cataleya had it flipped over in the air to examine it all over; always the curious one.

"I think it was readying one. It took flight on what I thought was a stealthy approach." Keylo was positioned slightly to the side of the beast, facing his sister, like he was still waiting for it to overpower his sister after finishing regenerating.

"How long has it been like this," she motioned towards the missing part of the wing, before pulling the cigarette from Keylo's lips and taking a good drag.

The wind kicked up and the ends of their excuse for ponytails thrashed behind their heads.

Keylo took back the cigarette from his sister, "Just a short moment, I barely made contact with it," a long drag, then a relaxed exhale.

"It's not regenerating." Catalaya twirled it in the air again, "feel for yourself. It's pulse is erratic."

She rested the immobilized beast into her brother's hand. And when her mind decided to let go, Keylo could feel the all over the place flutter of the tiny winged beasts heart.

"Either way, I suppose I kill it before it gets the chance; we should probably think about reporting it as well. I can't imagine the council wouldn't want to know about a new threat." Keylo began to tighten his grasp on the small winged beast.

"Give me a break, Keylo," Cataleya snatched the cigarette from her brother's lips to take a drag, "two visits to the council and all of a sudden you report to them."

Keylo didn't respond, focused more on to the incremental increases in pressure from his grip. The fluttering heart beat faltered, then slowed, then picked up immensely, before stopping entirely. When the winged beast heart stopped beating, he opened his palm, to see the mangled corpse, and to let the wind take away the ash of the soon to be disintegrating body.

"It's dead." Cataleya was nearly hovering directly over her brother.

"Yes, it is. I-I don't know why it hasn't started turning to cinders yet. Maybe it really is defective."

Two minutes had passed without the winged beast burning away to nothingness. It didn't even take two minutes for the serpents the size of skyscrapers to disintegrate after death.

"I think something's wrong..." Keylo said it low, eyes only on the nearly indistinguishable blood covered eyes of the small winged beast. And it might have been the enthia, but tears were pooling in his eyes.

"I feel it too." The wind rustled, kicking up the siblings hair once more, before Cataleya used her telekinesis to take it from her brothers hand, and tear it to nothing herself.

Then Keylo was sure, it wasn't the enthia.

#CataleyaandKeylo #text blog #writer #write more #write often #write every damn day #fiction #original #original work

[tylerhoechlns]

Sterek Recs: Bookmarked (1/?)

I’ve been lacking with my posts, specifically my sterek recs, so I decided I should post all 1,163 (and counting) fics that I have bookmarked on AO3 into a few separate posts.

WARNING: I have been bookmarking almost every sterek fic I have ever read since the summer of 2015. Some of these fics may include side pairings or briefly include Derek and/or Stiles with someone else. I tried to add some tags and warnings here but PLEASE read the tags and or warnings on the fic itself if this is something you do not like. All of these fics are completed. 

How to Win an Argument Without Really Trying by sffan (Explicit - 2.2k)

It started with a kiss.

Well, actually, it started with an argument.

— Tags and Warnings: Underage, First Time, Porn Without Plot

Blushing Pretty by the_deep_magic (Explicit - 3.2k)

Tonight’s the rare occasion when he gets to take Stiles apart, piece by piece, and Stiles – annoying, mouthy, brilliant, gorgeous Stiles – lets him. 

— Tags and Warnings: Porn Without Plot, Established Relationship, Light BDSM

🔒 The One In Which Derek's Dick Disappears by bleep0bleep (Explicit - 3.3k)

Derek wakes up one afternoon without a particular appendage.

Stiles thinks someone left a very realistic looking dildo in his bed.

— Tags and Warnings: Mildly Dubious Consent, Public Sex, Telepathic Sex

Muffins As A Declaration Of Intent by JenNova (Explicit - 3.7k)

“Top or bottom?” Stiles asks, off to Derek's right.

“Bottom,” Derek says automatically, not really looking at him. “Wait, what?”

— Tags and Warnings: Porn Without Plot

Stiles, why is Derek Hale passed out on our front porch? by marguerite_26, mothlights (Explicit, 4.4k)

Stiles doesn't hear the knock on his front door, but he figures there must have been one, because now his dad's calling out to him,

"Stiles, do you know why Derek Hale just passed out on our front porch?"

Stiles freezes, carton of milk half way to his mouth. He looks around the empty room, wondering if it has any answers. Derek Hale just passed out on his front porch -- sounds like one of the signs of the coming apocalypse.

— Tags and Warnings: Spark Stiles, Magical Bond, Hurt/Comfort

With Warmest Regards (Affectionately Yours) by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato) (Mature - 5.9k)

House Hale and House Stilinski form an alliance through the betrothal of Prince Derek and Prince Stiles. Having only met once before, they write letters to get to know one another.

— Tags and Warnings: AU: Royalty, Alive Hale Family, background/side pairings. 

Intro To Art For NonMajors by otatop (N/A - 13k)

Derek has one more class to pass before he can finish his degree but he can't bring himself to give a shit about art. He can, however, give a shit about his professor.

— Tags and Warnings: AU: University, Student!Derek/Teacher!Stiles, Artist!Stiles

an exaltation of larks by llassah (Explicit - 25k)

There are times when he feels as if they could fall into bed together, easy as breathing. If Stiles were not highborn, if he were an omega without connections, Derek would be sorely tempted. As it is, he resists. Derek wants, he yearns, but he resists. Still, the sight of Stiles in his cot is enough to test him, even now that it is familiar. At the end of each lambing season, he sleeps for a week, worn down by months of hard work, of relentless struggle. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel by the time Stiles leaves, how he’ll feel after long days and longer nights spent resisting the insistent tug of Stiles’s scent and the inclinations of his own foolish heart.

All Derek wants is to get through the lambing season with his body and spirit intact. He had thought that the blizzards would be the main danger, not a highborn omega with beautiful eyes and a stubborn streak.

— Tags and Warnings: AU: Historical, AU: Werewolves are Known, AU: Medievalesque Omega!Stiles, Alpha!Derek, Non-Graphic Torture, Mutual Pining

Nothing Short Of Perfect by GotTheSilver (Explicit, 27k)

In which Derek and Stiles are made aware of their potential and have to make a choice about what their relationship will be.

“Let me get this straight,” his dad says. “You’re telling me a witch told Derek and yourself that you could be destined to be together and now Derek will be going to college with you?”

Stiles shrugs, resting his hands on his legs to stop himself from fidgeting. “That’s about it, yep.”

— Tags and Warnings: University, Soul bonds, Getting Together.

By Any Other Name by entanglednow (Explicit - 33K)

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

— Tags and Warnings: Angst, Amnesia, Violence

Strike Softly (Away From The Body) by qhuinn (tekla) (Explicit - 34k)

Derek is a bodyguard and Stiles his spoiled, resistant client.

— Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Enemies to Lovers

The Worst Thing I Ever Did by RemainNameless (Explicit, 41k)

Stiles would say his relationship with Derek is about fifteen percent empty threats, thirty percent sass, ten percent avoiding violence together, and five percent eyebrows. If anyone asked, he would say the remaining forty percent is mutual orgasms.

It’s a good thing no one ever asks.

— Tags and Warning: AU: Canon Divergence, post 3x03, Underage, Canon Typical Violence, Porn With Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Dubious Consent, D/s themes, Non-Negotiated Kink

 Traces by standinginanicedress (Explicit - 44k)

Derek snaps his fingers and glares into Stiles' eyes. “You say you're not the same, but – there you fucking go, acting just like yourself.”

Stiles bristles. “Oh, right. Because you know me so fucking well, don't you?”

“Better than you seem to think,” he mutters under his breath in response, and Stiles gets even more incensed.

“Pushing me up against walls, shoving my head into steering wheels,” he shrugs his shoulders, glares, “some real heart to hearts we've had!”

“Holding me up in eight feet of water when I was paralyzed, nearly cutting my arm off for me to save my life. Doesn't seem so fucking shallow to me, Stiles.”

— Tags and Warnings: Underage (17), Angst, Body Dysmorphia, PTSD, Kate Argent

our lives are changing lanes by grimm (Explicit - 47k)

There's a lot of screaming going on inside the first house Stiles visits. He isn't really worried, because it sounds like kids, but then the door opens and hi, says his dick, because the dude in front of him is gorgeous, built like a god with a face like thunder. Stiles wants to lick that solid jaw line. Hold the fuck on, says his cop brain, because the dude's got kids hanging all over him; one's on his back, skinny legs looped around his waist, and another two hanging off one arm, toes barely brushing the ground. There's a tubby toddler clinging to his leg like a koala, and he's got a baby tucked into the crook of the one arm that doesn’t have kids hanging off it. Stiles' mouth drops open.

"How many of those kids did you kidnap?" he asks before he can wrangle his brain into submission.

The man gives him a look that says what the fuck is wrong with you and snaps, "You think I'd subject myself to this on purpose?"

"Oooh," says one of the kids hanging off his arm. "I'm telling Mom."

— Tags and Warnings: AU: Werewolves Are Known, Deputy!Stiles, Single Parent Derek, Past Kate/Derek

☆ Sense of Home by siny  (Explicit - 53k)

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

— Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Major (Fake) Character Death, Angst, Slow Build, First Time, Happy Ending, Background/Side pairings. 

Move A Mountain by ZainClaw (Explicit - 69k)

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

— Tags and Warnings: Smut, Angst, Biker!Derek, background/side pairings

Occam's Razor by MissAnnThropic (Explicit - 74k)

When Stiles goes to sleep, he’s a junior in high school. He wakes up in a world where he’s twenty-four and married to Derek Hale. Stiles just can’t seem to catch a break.

— Tags and Warnings: Angst

☆ Cornerstone by Vendelin (Explicit - 83k)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

— Tags and Warnings: Blind!Stiles, Marine!Derek, PTSD

☆ No Homo by RemainNameless (Explicit - 84k)

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic". Derek is the fool who replies.

— Tags and Warnings: AU: University, Internalized Homophobia, Recreational Drug Use (Marijuana), Alcohol, Lots of Safe and Unsafe Sex

🔒 Shatterproof by pyes (Explicit - 90k)

The first time that Derek kisses Stiles, they're in the Jeep—which is sideways—while they're trapped in an overpass collapse.

It's the second time when things really get scary.

— Tags and Warnings: Post 3b Pack, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Canon Typical Violence/Gore. 

I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter (Explicit - 127k)

Stiles finds a baby on the porch.

It looks exactly like him.

Well, this is awkward.

— Tags and Warnings: Underage, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Death, Pack Feels, Abduction, Threats of Rape/Non-Con

Little Wild Animal by DiscontentedWinter (Explicit - 131k)

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property. Humans are supposed to be extinct. But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

— Tags and Warnings: Underage, Feral!Stiles, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background/Side pairings. Fics 2&3 of sterek aren’t majority about Sterek.

#sterek #sterek fic rec #sterek fic #sterek rec #eternalsterek #my rec #eternal sterek