#it’s probably bc I react so strongly to rejection that just never allowing someone to reject me is safer

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I hope you don't mind me venting a bit, if you don't want to see this feel free to just ignore it.

My friends keep accidentally outing me?? They're all really close to me and I love them (/p), but I feel like they don't understand how private my identity is to me. Me and one of my friends (we'll call her S) went to summer camp together way back in July, and a bunch of us were hanging out in one of the dorms. And they start playing kiss, marry, kill (a game I have never understood lol), and S goes, "well, [my name] can't play, she's aroace." Which she had no right to do!! Of course she was right I had absolutely no inclination to join whatsoever, and one of the people had just come out to us as bi so we knew it was probably safe, but if I wanted that information spread to a bunch of girls I had never met before in my life I would have done it myself! Or the other day two other friends (C and Z) were jokingly shipping me and another friend (D) in our group chat, and I was just rejecting it (I did enjoy the pun with our names though), and then I reacted STRONGLY to discussion about kids. Obviously raised some questions, and C goes "Cause she's aarrroo". Which 1. isn't even the right part of my identity for that, and 2. Only 2 out of 5 people (not including myself) in that chat knew about it. Once again it was fine, it was hidden in a flood of messages, but still. I confided in them because I'm really close to them and trust them immensly (honestly, they can be uncoorparative sometimes, but they know when to back off if it's something serious and I trust them with my life) but I don't know how to make that clear to them, because I DON'T trust the people they're outing me to that much, and even if I do I want it to be on my own terms. The only people I've come out to so far that were entirely on my terms is them, my mom, and my cousin. I don't even know if my dad knows yet tbh, but if he does it was bc of my mom. Every other time was either an accident, or they forgot/didn't realize that I view it as a really big deal and just let it slip out.

The worst part is I want to be mad at them, but I can't. I quietly yell at them a little bit later, but none of my friends have ever done it multiple times, and if I'm close to someone I find it really hard to stay angry at them. So I want to tell them about it and get them to understand, but they've never done it since I told them I didn't like it, and I WANT to trust them but I still don't really because it's just so easy for them to slip up. All of the scenerios were fine in the end, it really was okay, but it could have not been okay and that makes me nervous. Any advice for how to tackle this?

I'm sorry that happened to you, Anon. It's really not as well-known as it should be that people should never out someone without their permission first. And it's not uncommon for people to just not realise that coming out isn't a one-and-done thing, that coming out to one person doesn't mean a person isn't just out. Especially since that's how it's often portrayed in media.

It does sound like they listened when you asked them to stop, and that's definitely a good sign. You are still allowed to have a conversation with them about it, though. Maybe start with something like 'I just want to explain to you guys why I asked you not to out me' or 'i just want to talk about it a bit, but I'm really happy you guys have been good about not telling people since I asked' or something like that, it won't feel like you're harping on them or putting them on the defensive or make them feel attacked, but just able to more clearly explain your side of things and be understood better.

I definitely think a good conversation is a good way to go, and help you clear the air a bit. And if you know they understand your side better, you'll likely feel more secure that they'll listen and be more careful about outing you.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[maibi]

The Past Never Forgets

Pt. 1

Dabi x reader

Warnings: killing, cursing

Summary: as a cast out by society you find your way to the League of Villains. Your family that had given up on searching for you after you ran away , but after 5 years, in some mysterious way, they found your hide-out. 

A/n: I got the quirk idea from someone else bc my brain isn’t working with me. They have a lot of other fan made quirks I will put the link right here, you can check it out!! ( https://www.wattpad.com/672985786-my-fan-quirks-venom ) 

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Life wasn’t really something that had been going great for you. In fact your life had been pretty shit. You were an outcast, hated by society, hated by your own family. All because of your unbearable quirk. You had no place to feel safe and no place to call home. Your family made sure you never used your quirk because it could cause deaths among your loved ones. Your childhood was ruined all because of the image they wanted to hold as a family. they put their desires of fame above your well-being and you saw only one option to change that. And that was by running away. The only thing you had been taught was to hate what you used to love, you were basically emotionless.

As a teenager of 16 years old you decided to run away from home. You never got treated right and you were seen as a death-threat. You yourself didn’t see any problems with your quirk, but your family had other opinions about that. There were rules for you, and only you. None of your siblings had any of these rules, because their quirks were hero-like and yours was villain-like. If you used your quirk without permission you would be left in a dark room with no food for a whole day. They would call this discipline, but in reality this was child abuse. The only person caring about you was your grandma, but after she passed away you had no reason to stay in that house.

Your family tried searching for you, but gave up quickly when they realized life would be much better without you around. You quickly realized that life would also be much better without them. You had blamed yourself for your quirk. For all those years in that place that was a so called home, you had believed that your quirk was a threat to society. That if you made the wrong moves they would take a hold of your life. But after running away, and finding people that adored you for your quirk, it made you realize what a real family was. And you realized that your quirk was more than just a threat to society, it was something that belonged to you and only you. 

You were the holder of the Venom quirk.

For 5 years you wandered around, going from city to city and doing about anything to provide yourself some food and a place to sleep. You never stayed put, that wasn’t your way of going. You went from place to place, exploring different streets from every city and making yourself known within the “villain community”. It wasn’t every day people got to see a venom quirk in action, so they were all curious enough to let you stay with them.

One day, before you had settled down, you were wandering around a new city, chewing on some stolen buns, you walked in a side street, hidden from the citizens. You saw blue flames and it struck to you. You had always liked the color blue, it was a pretty color compared to your dark purple venom, you didn’t like the color purple after all. You had watched the holder of the blue flames do his thing on a person who was trying his hardest to escape. He was unable to let out a sound as the blue flame man was keeping his hands strongly around his throat. 

You were interested in this person, not because he was probably a villain, but mainly because you thought his quirk was cool. Oh yeah, and of course because of the color blue. You wanted to know who’s quirk would be stronger. You were curious, so you budged in, not caring about what would happen. You threw your bun on the ground.

“I mean, that’s pretty kinky”, you said. 

his hand shot in your direction, but you were quick to react. Before his flames could hit you, you had made an X motion with your arms, letting out your venom in a shield form, protecting you from the burning flames. If there was one thing you had learned from wandering on your own, it were quick reflexes. you felt that his flames were powerful, but you knew for a fact that he didn’t use all of his strength.

“You got some good reflexes”, he said continuing to strangle the small dude. 

“You seem... interested in that kind of stuff”, you said, pointing at his hands around the man’s throat. 

“well what can I say, it’s tempting sometimes”, he said with a smirk. “I mean you can join in if you’d like that.”

He dropped the man and watched him crawl his way in the other direction. “That’s your prey, you sure you wanna just let him escape?”, you curiously asked, smirking back at him.

“He can’t go far, the next person will get him”, he said as he properly turned around and leaned against the stone cold wall. You couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of him actually freezing against the cold wall right now. “Now tell me, what brings you to this side of the city?”

“I saw blue flames and I like the color blue”, you shrugged, placing your hands in your pockets. “Nothing more.”

He walked closer to you, examining you from head to toe with his eyes. You let him, because in the end what did you have to lose? If he wanted to kill you, he would have probably already tried to do that. But he was just looking at you, probably trying to figure out how your quirk was supposed to work. 

“You saw blue flames and you like the color blue”, he silently repeated your sentence. His eyes stopped trailing down your body when he connected eyes with you. “Do you have any clue as to who I am?”

“Not the slightest”, you answered, breaking the eye contact first by walking past him to the direction the person that was a victim of his blue flames. He was gone, with only a splash of blood and a limb on the ground. You smiled to yourself. He had not survived just like flame boy said.

This could get interesting. You had thought to yourself. 

“What exactly is it that you do around here”, he asked while walking behind you. “Never saw you around here. You new?”

“You could say that”, you answered. But left out the fact that you were only new to the city and not to the whole “villain” thing, because giving away your life wasn’t really your plan yet.

“What about you? I never heard of you”, you said.

“My name is quite known here”, he smirked, walking closer to you. “The name is Dabi.” 

“Nice to meet you infamous Dabi”, you said as you inched closer too, showing him you were by no means intimidated by him. “I look forward to hearing and seeing you more often.”

After that you had made yourself known in the new city you visited, the city were you had met Dabi, the so called famous villain. You did hear a lot about him, making him a lot more interesting. There were many encounters between the two of you and he had tried to convince you to join his little group of friends called the League of Villains. You liked to work independent, so you kindly rejected his offer. 

But it wasn’t after a very fierce battle that Dabi had been heavily injured. You wouldn’t consider yourselves friends at that time, but you were close enough to not let him die. You hadn’t received from him what you had wanted. So you brought him to his hide-out, where the other members of the League were. 

The time you had spent there as just “a visitor”, had turned into you wanting to have more fun so you decided to join, without a plan. You were still allowed to move on your own so you didn’t see that much of a problem. They weren’t people with rules, or whatever. You lived freely, and you were happy about that.

You had made that place your home. Things that started off as a joke, turned into things that were important to you. These people were the people that didn’t fear you, but were happy to battle with you. These people wanted to get stronger for their own sake and didn’t live up to the will of other’s. Even if they looked like emotionless people, they cared about each other. And that was a place you liked to call home.

that all lead to the present. You were sitting with Dabi at the edge of high building, thinking about some random plan Shigaraki had made you think about. It wasn’t even necessary, he just needed a back-up plan.

“We’re not really gonna write this down are we?”, you asked as you held a piece of paper and a pen in your hands. “Shigaraki has to be kidding if he really wants a back-up plan for this one. I’m 99% sure we’re winning this one.” You slowly watched your venom eat up the paper as you threw the pen off of the building. 

Shigaraki had planned to attack UA, you didn’t really care about UA, but because Shigaraki had let you do just about anything while being with them you didn’t mind helping him out. “We can never go wrong with a back-up plan, you know.”

“But I mean, he has been planning for over a month now. How wrong can stuff go? Worst case scenario is that we retreat. They can’t possibly be this cautious beforehand?”

“Oh, you don’t know UA. They do just about anything to keep school grounds safe. They have everything ready for literally the worst case scenario”, Dabi said.

“But everything has been planned out, we literally searched for every possible thing that could go wrong and we found a solution for that. I really don’t think we need this. Besides, since when does Shigaraki want back-up plans, he never did-”, your head shot up in realization and you slapped dabi across his chest as you lightly gasped. “You little shit. Shigaraki didn’t ask us to make a back-up plan! Why did you bring me here then?!”

“Ding ding ding, someone caught on”, he said as he slowly rose to his feet.

“But why!”, you asked as you also stood up.

“To protect you”, he said smugly.

“To protect me?”, you said questionably. “And why would you do that? I survived on my own for 5 years on the street, I think I can handle some high school children.”

He came closer to you and kissed your lips for only a second. He did this often, it’s not like it was the first time he did it, but it always left you a little flustered. It was not everyday you had received any form of affection, so it was all new to you. You two weren’t in a “relationship”, but it sure was something along those lines. Whenever he’d kiss you, your so called superiority went down a little only because you did not know how to act. But you never let yourself get trampled over. 

“Dabi I’m serious here, why did you take me here. If Shigaraki is fighting some people right now we should at least help him. Your own feelings shouldn’t come first place when it’s such a dangerous thing. I can care for my own, so let’s go help Shigaraki. He helped us out too many times to leave him alone there”, you said in a strict tone, showing him that you were by no means playing. “Besides I haven’t thrown a good punch in a while, I need this.”

“It was him that told me to bring you here, tho I would have even if he didn’t ask me to”, he said. “Your family found your occupation. Not the real hide-out, but you know the one where we-”

You slapped a hand on his lips, making sure he didn’t continue that sentence. Your face was flushed and his lips turned into a smirk. You didn’t like it when openly talked about your intimate relationship. He knew exactly how to fluster you, but right now wasn’t really the best moment to do so. 

You looked at the ground, eyebrows furrowed. Your family really had the audacity to come search for you now? It felt like bullshit to you. You looked at Dabi and straightened your posture. “All the more reasons for me to head over and take a look.”

#dabi imagine #dabi #dabi todoroki #dabi mha #dabi smut #dabi x reader #touya todoroki #bnha #mha #mha dabi #dabi angst #dabi fanfic

[icharchivist]

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #long post for ts