#it sounds so funny but id still cry if i overthink enough

[boyfhees]

IMPORTANT ! | NAVI ( in case you want a link to all my reposts )

so after much consideration, even though it has only been one day since the whole ordeal, i've decided that i wouldn't be writing anymore. i may regret this decision later but for now, i don't. if you want to read my rant and the reason why, it's under the cut, if not, just reblog this post.

first of all, i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about deactivating. the past almost two years have been amazing, but with everything that has been going on in my life right now, i've often found myself thinking about leaving this platform. except, i didn't because i was scared. i love writing, i have always, i don't think that's going to change. it's genuinely one of the things i've been doing ever since i was kid and haven't found it a hassle or chore. i didn't want to stop writing, actually. then i had my friends here, those 4.3k people who supported me, it was a lot to let go.

i think what happened yesterday gave me an out. now that i've lost everything— you know, my writings, majority of my moots, and everything else— i don't think there's a point trying to recover all that. maybe it's just because i'm not over what happened and lost all the motivation to continue and maybe, i'll regret my decision later, as i said; but for now, i think i'm doing the right thing. now, i may come back tomorrow saying i was in my emo phase when i posted this and stuff because i'm too attached to this place, so don't mind me.

i cried a lot last night, i haven't talked to my brother ever since yesterday, i don't like how this thing is ruining my relationships even though it's his fault. i have works and ideas and i wish would see the light some day, and i'd possibly make a grand return after my college entrances with new fics and shit if i'm in the mood. but till then, this is the goodbye.

i'll stay here, i'll log in once or twice a week or something to spam my side blog and idk repost? because hell, i'm not leaving without putting up some of my proudest works. i'm so salty about this situation. i'll drop by to talk to my moots, reblogs my favourite fits and everything. there's this thing i've been working on for three months now and it's almost near the end so i might drop it too, as my last post, perhaps?

if you want to keep in touch, my discord is cael.#0329, my twitter is @/slaynez_, i'm not giving instagram since i'm not really active but if you want, dm me.

thank you for past almost two years, it has been a wonderful time. i wished this would last longer, at least till by birthday, but some things are bound to happen. thank you for reading my silly little works, thank you for the massive support. let's wait for me to possibly come back soon, i guess.

ps. i'm still lurking on this site like a ghost you know, looking for my works and everything since i said i'll be putting them up again so don't you fucking dare steal them, i will come for you bloodline. my kpop blog is @chiyuv if anyone wants to know

#—boosts. #you wont believe me i cried so much over a fanfic account really #it sounds so funny but id still cry if i overthink enough

[beomeli]

Rainy days - C.BG

Warning: none

Genre: angst, fake dating, unrequited love

Non-idol!Beomgyu x fem!Reader (x Non-idol!Taehyun)

Click here for Part 2!

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Why him? Why did you fall for him out of everyone. You didn't understand, you couldn't understand.

“What’s your name?” You looked up at him, eyes meeting his. His eyes showed kindness, as he looked down at you with a smile.

You looked down at his hand that reached out to you, noticing him opting you to shake it. Once again you looked up at him, this time with a smile, placing your hand in his and giving it a firm shake.

“My name is Y/N” he tilted his head at that, letting go of your hand. But the smile was still evident. “And your name?” You asked him,

“My name is Beomgyu, nice to meet you.” He softened his expression even more.

Beomgyu was the first person to be called your friend. He was interested in getting to know the new student, hence starting a friendship. You were happy that he asked for your name, happy that you could befriend such a sweet person. And Beomgyu was happy too, you really did make a great friendship. He was always sweet, funny and you found comfort in his charming personality. He never failed to make you laugh, neither did he fail to make you blush. You had tried neglecting the growing feeling in your stomach, that whenever he touched you, got close enough or said something remotely romantic, your heart started to flutter. But day by day, you realized that feelings had erupted for him. You had fallen for him.

He would unknowingly make your heart quicken. His hand softly brushing against your cheek, while lending out his scarf or jacket. His hand lightly bumping onto yours as you were walking home from school, which ended in him reaching his hand out for you. And whenever he visited you, he would kindly help your studying or cuddle next to you on your sofa.

You had taken the gesture as acts of love, who could blame you?

Only did you realize it was one sided when he came up to you, bright smile and panting a bit. Saying words you never wanted to hear.

“I’ve finally asked Ryujin out! We’re going to the get ice-cream next Saturday!” He looked at you with the brightest smile, happily telling you the ‘good’ news he had been holding onto for the entire weekend. You could feel your smile drop at mere seconds before bringing it back up. This time, forced.

“I’m really happy for you Beomgyu.” You didn’t really know what else to say. you were happy for him, sure. But at the same time, you could feel your heart crumble piece by piece as the realization hit you. He never loved you back, never even glanced a second thought about loving you. You’ve been so naive, so blind.

Before you could engage more into the conversation, Beomgyu excused himself. Mentioning something about greeting Ryuijun, which further broke you. And before you could even say a “see you later” he was off. In a way, you were thankful for not having to further talk to him, listening to him talk about his new lover would be too much to handle. And even though you could play it of cool, you knew the facade wouldn’t hold forever.

Eventually class begun and you tried to focus on the professor before you, but your mind kept slipping away. Thinking about Beomgyu. You had caught yourself thinking about him before, but today was different. In the end, you couldn’t hold yourself. Feeling tears peck at the corner of your eyes, the last thing you wanted was to cry. So you tried holding back your tears at best,

“Don’t cry over Beomgyu, you deserve better.”

Your eyes widened at that remark. The sentence was quiet, as if only you could hear it. And while you tried to subtly look for the culprit of those words, everyone was listening intently as to what the professor had to say. Eventually you gave up, figuring that it was your mind playing tricks. You knew your mind was at a hazy state. overthinking was bound to happen at situations like these. And even though you kept that in mind, you couldn’t help but feel eyes on you. This time, you knew that the feeling was real.

Turning slowly to look at your left, you saw a boy subtly staring at you with a bored expression before turning towards the professor, looking uninterested with his head resting in his hand. You remembered his face, trying to process what his name was.

Taehyun, Right? Whatever, he was just looking your way and you just happened to be so emotionally distressed that you felt eyed upon. Time to focus on the professor, don’t think about Beomgyu.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As soon as you entered your home, you let out a loud sigh. The feeling of crying was no longer evident, but the big lump in your stomach, along with the drowning feeling of sadness was growing.

And as you tried your best to focus on something else, you couldn’t help but crumble in your bed, letting your eyes fill with sorrow as you thought about Beomgyu and Ryujin. Tears were now streaming down your blushed cheeks as you tried holding back your sobs, but eventually you couldn’t hold it back any longer. You cried for a long time, and in the end, dizziness and exhaustion caused you to fall asleep.

**Incoming call...**

The loud sound erupting from your phone woke you in a beat. In daze, you reached for your phone and answered without checking the ID.

“Hello?” Your voice was groggy.

“Hey Y/N, Sorry did I wake you up or something?” You recognized that voice, quickly you scanned over the caller ID and did a mental face palm at yourself for not checking thoroughly.

“Yeah, I ended up falling asleep as soon as I came home..” you chuckled a bit, trying to sound like your normal self. You hoped that your grogginess in your voice could hide the fact that you’d been crying.

“Sorry for waking you up, hehe. I just wondered why you didn’t wait for me to walk you home..?” He sounded a bit worried, and you felt guilty for making him feel that way. Ironic.

“Oh, sorry Beomgyu.. I didn’t want to bother you and Ryujin so I figured I’d walk home earlier.” was that really a good answer, it was the truth, but did he really need to know it?

“That’s okay. But don’t worry too much about that, I still want to walk home with you, okay?” You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to be rude and a small part of you were happy that Beomgyu still wanted to walk with you. But you knew that further engaging with him would lead to heartbreak. More or less, you dismissed your sinking feeling, you couldn’t say no to Beomgyu.

“Sure..” you smiled through the phone as there was a few moments of silence, you could hear Beomgyu shuffle a bit through the phone before letting out a sigh.

“Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure, I have to go now but can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure, bye Beomgyu.”

“Bye Y/N.”

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, the smile dropping at an instant. You hated this, this feeling of having to fake an facade towards him, while being at the brink of crying every second. You hated the sinking feeling in your chest whenever the thought of Beomgyu came. Beomgyu used to make you happy, make you feel butterflies. But the happiness you once felt was shot down so quickly, you didn’t know how to recover.

Trying to ease of your mind once and for all, you buried yourself in the world of television. Even though you knew watching reality shows could be frustrating, you still found them entertaining enough to engage in. The rain was pouring outside, with occasional thundering sounds loudly filling the room. You on the other hand, were to invested on the TV to even glance a second at the outside storm. Just as a commercial break erupted, a few knocks could be heard from your front door, Making you jump at your spot. Surely this was the last thing you expected to hear a thundering evening like this. Your chest tightened as you looked at the wooden door before quickly glancing at the clock hung over the TV.

07:23 PM, neither to late nor to early for visitors. Questioning who could be at the door was unnecessary since you knew Beomgyu was out of the question. And thus you were stuck on whether you should open to door or not. A soft knock could be heard once again. You let out a sigh trying to ignore the person at the door. But the curiosity got the better of you.

Slowly you made your way to the door, turning the cold handle, feeling a chill crawl your spine. As you opened it, you were faced with

“Taehyun?”

You never expected to come face-to-face with Kang Taehyun. Sure, he was a close friend to Beomgyu. But you never saw him as your close friends, If even friends at all. you’d only only had a few conversations which usually was led by Beomgyu. Never did you think Taehyun would stand before you.

He stood in the rain, holding an umbrella to his right and a plastic back to his left. His shoulders were wet from the rain, indicating that he was outside and a bit caught of guard when the rain started. His hair and beanie dripping small droplets onto the pavement.

“Uhm, what brings you here?” You had genuine confusion in your voice as you eyed him up and down. But you didn’t want to sound rude, he did make time to come here.

“I just wanted to come by, I’ve brought snacks.” He answered monotonous, not seeming to be bothered by the growing tension between you. Sure, you knew he could be bold at times. But this was uncalled for. Further confusion grew on you.

“Okay..? thanks..” you scooted yourself to the side and widened the door, signaling for him to come in. Quickly, he closed his umbrella, shaking the water off it before stepping in.

It was quiet, very awkward as you closed the door behind him. The air felt electric, you wanted to say something but nothing came up. eventually, Taehyun spoke up again,

“I saw what happened this morning, with Beomgyu.. it was really sad to watch.” He kept that monotone voice as he said those words. how could he say something like that, while acting so confident?

you felt shocked at his statement. He came all the way here to tell you that? You almost felt a bit offended.

“Okay? So you’ve just come here to make fun of me?” You scoffed at his blunt remark, crossing your arms at his confidence.

“Actually, I’ve come to offer a deal.”

“A deal?” You looked at him with visible confusion as you shifted the weight on your stance.

“I know you like Beomgyu, it’s pretty obvious,” obvious? Maybe for an outsider but, did Beomgyu also think it was obvious? You kept listening as to what he had to say.

“And I also know how hurt you were, by him I mean. I saw you trying to hold back your tears in the classroom. And since you deserve better, I wondered if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

That was uncalled for, you didn’t even know how to react to a sentence like that. Be his girlfriend? Why? Was he actually serious right now? This almost felt unreal.

“W- what?” Was all you could muster out, still being in utter shock at his previous statement.

“I want you to be my girlfriend, I’ll treat you right.” He answered. An answer that was so dislocated from everything. How could he say something like that so easily? Trying to calm yourself down, you questioned him

“What is the point? You don’t really like me and It wouldn’t benefit you? More or less, I’m not really the type of person you would date. I don’t really understand.”

“I’ll keep it simple, you’re pretty interesting and I’m bored. You’ll just have to be my girlfriend, and I’ll give you as much attention as you want. That’s it.”

It was a rather simple request, Taehyun knew what you wanted, was he really that observant? Did he see how lonely you were? Sure, if anyone looked close enough they would notice, but how close of an eye has Taehyun been keeping on you? his reasoning for wanting you was that he was bored? Taehyun wasn’t the type to play with a girls feelings, that much you knew. But couldn’t he find enjoyment somewhere else? He wasn’t directly unpopular nor a loner. You knew many people that fawned over the infamous Kang Taehyun, amazing at sports, singing, having good looks and being very smart. Why would he engage in something like this, when he could be in a real relationship. you didn’t understand.

Even though you were confused as ever, you couldn’t help but thinking about accepting his offer. Sure, it wouldn’t fill the void completely, but it could be a good distraction. As he said, he was willing to give you all the attention you needed. You gulped, heaving a sad sigh before speaking up,

“Sure.. I accept the offer.. but keep in mind that I’ve never dated anyone so..” you trailed off, not knowing how to further the sentence.

“Just be yourself. I know how to treat a girl, unlike some people..” with that he gave you a nod before setting down the plastic bag with the presumed ‘snacks’. You noticed how the storm had now calmed down, as if it was almost on qué.

“I’ll be heading off, I’ll see you tomorrow if that’s okay..?” You kept quiet, watching his every move. As he made his way to the metal door handle and turned it, before exiting he looked back at you.

You thought for a moment before nodding.

“Okay..”

Giving him small smile.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Night flew by quickly, along with morning, and suddenly 12 PM hit you as you made your way towards the living room. Beomgyu had called you earlier, as promised. And even though you wanted to ignore him, you couldn’t help yourself but to answer. The conversation was short, just him asking you about your morning and what you’re going to do the following hours. Of course you didn’t tell him about Taehyun, instead you said that you’d chill at home. He believed you.

Familiar knocking was heard at the door around 3 PM, and this time, you were prepared for his arrival. Before his arrival you had just spent the day wrapped around a blanket, watching movies as the rain kept pouring at an alarming rate outside. Wishing that the main characters on TV was you, having a happy ending. But now you could finally occupy your loneliness, even though your company was rather unusual.

You made your way to the door once again, checking through the curtains just to make sure ,

“Taehyun..” you were right, as expected. Slowly you opened the door for him, letting him in instantly. He once again shook his umbrella before closing the door behind him.

You watched him with big eyes as he hung his umbrella by a lonely hook, along with his dark rain coat and beanie. You figured he wanted to come more prepared against the wetness than yesterday when his head was drenched. Not much words were spoken, just a weirdly comfortable silence that bestowed between you. As he slowly looked around your house, looking at pictures of you and your family. You figured you had to break the silence,

“Nice blanket..” he spoke up before you, you didn’t even notice that you still had a blanked wrapped around your shoulders, more or less, a Hello kitty one you’ve had since you were young. He smirked to himself as he said those words,

“Oh... thanks hehe..” you were embarrassed to say the least, quickly shaking if the blanket and placing it on the sofa. Quickly you try to redirect the attention.

“Do you want to sit down?” You asked, a bit of nervousness was evident in your voice. Taehyun gave you small nod before walking over to the couch, taking a seating.

You watched him as he looked around once again, stopping at the TV in front of him.

Quietly you sat next to him, keeping a fair distance. You were still nervous and awkward about the whole ordeal. Taehyun on the other hand seemed like the opposite, more confident and laid back. You tried focusing on the movie in front of you, but you could feel deep dark eyes staring at you. Watching your every move as if you’re the most fascinating thing on earth. It made you uneasy. You couldn’t help but compare him to Beomgyu. How could you still be so fixated on him, comparing Taehyuns every move to Beomgyus. You tried shaking that feeling off, you did all this to forget about Beomgyu, remember? So the last thing you want is to always think about him.

Before your internal fight could become an internal war, you felt a warm hand brush against yours. And before you knew it, Taehyuns hand had slowly held a firm grip on yours. You didn’t dare to look over at Taehyun. He knew what he was doing, and still, the way he held your hand so delicate, like it was made out of precious glass about to break any second. He was gentle, and you couldn’t help but to crave more of his warmth. You even questioned how he could feel so warm when he was just outside in the freezing rain. You felt him shift a little bit closer to you, his arm lightly touching yours. Watching from the corner of your eyes, as you saw him grabbing that mentioned blanked from before, softly draping it over the two of you, before he slowly pulled you down, allowing you to rest on his shoulder.

Your heart was beating fast, as if it would explode at any second. You felt Taehyun shift further, now leaning towards you, gently leaning his head onto yours as he kept watching the movie. You didn’t know how you’d allow this, but you enjoyed his warmth. His softness. He was gentle with you, occasionally stroking your hand lightly with his thumb. And in a weird way, he made you feel comfortable. Eventually you started leaning more firmly into his touch, cuddling him further.

It was something you had been dreaming about for so long, having someone you could call “lover”. And for the first time in a long time, you forgot about all your worries, forgot about the pain that you’d once felt towards the one you held dearly. Taehyuns touch was enough to make you melt. Your thoughts were in haven, before a bickering started to occur. Unintentionally, beomgyu entered your mind once again. Thinking about him and Ryujin, in this exact position, would Beomgyu also hold Ryujin like this, letting her rest her head on the nape of his neck, occasionally give him kisses.

Taehyun seemed to noticed your shift in behavour, figuring what had occupied your mind.

Slowly, he leaned closer on your head, whispering that everything would be okay. The sweet affirmations surprisingly gave you a reassurance. Slowly you could feel your eyes falter, taking in his sweet scent, and warmth, you could feel yourself drift to sleep in Taehyuns touch.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

A/N:

Hello! My name is Em hehe! And yeah this is my first post. I hope you liked it and I’m sorry if there was anything grammatically incorrect.

I actually took a lot of inspiration from a SP fanfic I read 2 years ago when writing this story. But I really enjoyed writing this a lot (although it’s a bit hastily written since I wrote it over night, sleep is for the weak)

Thank you for reading ! (Also sorry for being so awkward I’m new to this hehe)

This work belongs to @Beomeli on tumblr. Please do not trace or copy my work ©

#beomgyu x reader #beomgyu angst #beomgyu imagines #tomorrow x together #txt #txt beomgyu #txt fanfic #taehyun x reader #taehyun angst #txt taehyun #txt soobin #txt hueningkai #txt yeonjun #txt one shot #txt oneshots #txt prompts

[splattereddd]

long

it’s been a while, but as usual it always gets worse. it always comes back around again. i don’t even know why i’m sad, it’s just really terrible. i can’t even apply logic to being sad. i just am. it’s so awful. it makes me dread living longer. nothing has any meaning. i am also sick of questions. i’m either overthinking or not thinking at all. the other gives me anxiety that i am deathly afraid to deal with. when i’m not thinking retrospectively into things i start to realise that nothing feels okay. there’s no way out of me feeling bad. people think they can read me like a book but there’s nothing to read in the first place. they make up words instead and try to piece together a story. i don’t know how i feel about this. they like doing funny stuff to me until they get the reaction they want. reactions are fake. i don’t know what you’re looking for. i’m having a hard time comprehending emotions. ive been having too much physical and mental pain to think straight recently. i don’t like being okay because that means that anytime now you will be feeling worse. and no one can do anything about it. some people make up bullshit. some people think it’s okay. i don’t know why they think that. i feel terrible all the time. i want to kill myself all the time. the only thought that has gotten me through all the shit ive gone through is the imagining in my head that i’ll kill myself. it won’t matter when your dead. you won’t have to remember this when your dead. this’ll finally be the end of it and this can never happen to you again if you kill yourself. i imagine my body laying off the side of the bottom of the cliff. what would i think as i’m falling? i’ve thought about it too much to regret it at this point. would a sing a song? it doesn’t matter, i’ll be dead. hanging on the ceiling. i’d have to turn off the ceiling fan. i wonder where’s is get the rope. how much would my corpse sway? how long? i wonder if it’ll still be sway by the time someone finds me. it’d be hilarious if the ceiling fan collapsed on me in the middle of it. i’d get a big tattoo before id do it so they know i was sure. i wonder who would actually blame themselves for it. it’s kind of funny and dumb. thinking about this used to make me cry harder, but now it just makes me stop. it brings me back to my rational mind. the absolute panic. oddly enough, despite being slaves to our biology, this still doesn’t sounds normal. it’s completely normal. and now that i’ve thought about it, i have nothing to panic about anymore. nothing to be sad about. i just have a headache. i can’t think of my dead body or broken bones or who would panic or call the ambulance or what’d they say anymore. i’ve done it too much and now i don’t really care. i just want it to happen. i am convinced nothing is real. i cannot touch anything and care about it anymore. i only experience what my body lets me. no one can get this, everyone just expects to be shallow. i hate people. each and every last one of them. selfish fuckers. but who would blame them? they didn’t ask to be born. they deserve to do whatever the fuvk they want. i could build a bomb. get rid of every damn think on this earth. i could. i tell no one about this. it’s not like it’s fixable anyways. i dedicate my life to finding some way i can kill others. i’d be the closest to the bomb. i’d learn how to build one from scratch. that way every person who’s wronged me finally dies. everyone never deserved to born. this is just what they get for living life. all their hopes and dreams incinerated. they don’t need them they’re dead too. i can’t wait for the people to deal with the after math. goodbye, dead bodies. but then again, they are just corpses with the human life blown out of them. dead meat. i can’t wait till they’re dead and i’m dead with them. every last one of them deserves to rot as a stack full of corpses in a swamp. but i’m too lazy. i can’t wait to die i don’t want to deal with this. please

#text #old

[brookefordsinclair-blog]

b i o g r a p h y

basic ic details

NAMES: Brooke Yvette Ford-Sinclair

FACECLAIM: Olivia Wilde, I have no others, really.

GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cisgender female & she/her/hers

DATE OF BIRTH & AGE: Thirty-five, march fifth, 1983

ORIENTATION: Homosexual

HOMETOWN: Three Rivers

LENGTH OF STAY: Their whole life, only leaving for a few years to go to university out of state

NEIGHBORHOOD: Sugar Pointe

OCCUPATION: They are the high school counselor and so most people who have been in high school for the last eleven years, have had her as their school counselor and have had the pleasure of having her give them sexual education as well.

TRAITS: open-minded, generous and caring but also possessive, stubborn and overprotective

the interrogation

1. Good afternoon, first off I have to ask, are you comfortable? The room isn't too cold, is it? Did anyone offer you something to drink? Water, coffee, perhaps tea?

Brooke shifted on the uncomfortable chair and looked at the plastic cup, filled half way with water. “Good afternoon.” she greeted the officers and swallowed thickly. She knew what this was about and she didn’t want to talk about it. She barely ever did. “Thank you for your concern, but I am fine.” She told them, as she answered their question about the temperature of the room and the drinks. They could see she had water, right? So, why ask? Also, who asked about the temperature of a room. What were they going to do? Bring her a blanket? She had the urge to roll her eyes but decided not to.

2. And if you don't mind, could you please state your name for the record? Is that your birth name? Any aliases we should be aware of?

She wanted to sigh. Hadn’t they just asked for her ID? She patiently answered though. “My name is Brooke Yvette Ford-Sinclair. I was born as Brooke Sinclair, but when I got married, my wife and I hyphenated our last names. I don’t have any nicknames or aliases.” She told them, just wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. She didn’t want to talk about the murders. She had children, she had a wife. She was worried and talking about the tragic events that were happening and those that had happened in the past, only made her want to hold them close and never let them go. Especially because of what happened to Dahlia.

3. Now then, let's begin with your childhood. What was growing up like for you?

She had no idea why this was relevant, but she chose to answer as honestly as she could. They were trying to piece the truth together, they were trying to solve this and make Three Rivers a safe place to live again. Maybe something in her memories could help them and could help stop this nutcase before they hurt her family. So, she took a deep breath and answered: “I had a fairly normal childhood, I think.” she started and shrugged. “I had a pretty stern father who had very clear expectations but my mother’s warmth made up for that, I suppose. I have an older brother who always looked out for me and I loved school. I had everything I needed growing up and honestly, that is why I still live here. I want to give my children the same great upbringing that I had.” She simply said, nothing really noteworthy happened. Surely, they wouldn’t be interested in the deaths of her grandparents of cancer or natural causes. They wouldn’t be interested in her tomboyish ways. She assumed what she said was enough information.

4. And what about your relationship with your family? Were you close with your parents, or guardians? Any siblings?

She nodded and with a sad smile, she replied: “I did, especially with my mother. She passed away last year and it still... is really difficult to deal with.” She answered and lifted the plastic cup to her lips to take a sip. She didn’t like getting emotional in front of strangers. “My father and I... we got along... alright. He preferred to spend time with my brother though. I didn’t mind too much. We never had much in common anyway.” She clarified. “And my brother... he’s my big teddy bear, honestly.” She said with a smile. “He’s always there for me and I am always there for him. It’s that simple.”

5. What was your high school experience like? Did you enjoy it? Did you have a lot of friends, or were you more of a loner? Somewhere in between, maybe?

She bit her lip and looked at the table. High school. Dahlia. “It was fine. I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t picked on either. I just had a small group of friends and that was that. I was part of the basketball team and I loved that.” She said with a small smile before she looked up and sighed. “Daliah went to my school. Daliah Jackson.” She had to swallow. Thinking about her always made her emotional. “No one but my wife knows that... she was my first girlfriend. She didn’t want to come out. It was the nineties, it wasn’t like it is today, so I haven’t told anyone that she was into girls. That should have been her decision to reveal. The day she was murdered,” she choked on the word and took a few deep breaths. “my childhood stopped, I think.” she managed to finish. “I was only sixteen and no one knew that I’d just lost my girlfriend. My first love, my first everything.” She explained and shook her head, trying to not let the memories take over right now because she’d just end up crying. She absolutely wanted to avoid that. She hadn’t wanted to talk about Dahlia when she came in, but now as she started to talk, it felt a little better. A little lighter. “After that... I guess I became more of a loner. I just... I don’t know. No one understood what I went through, no one got it and so I just focussed on basketball and studying.” She finished, hoping that there would be no follow up questions to that. She wasn’t sure she could handle it.

6. So, did you go to college? If so, what for and if not, why? What was your post-high school life like?

She nodded. “I was glad to get out of Three Rivers, after Dahlia passed away. I went to the university of Arizona and got qualified to be a counselor. Six years I studied, in which I met my wife, I told her that I wanted to move back here and even though the town had a dark past, with the murders, she agreed to come here with me. We got married, I got the job at the high school and we had three wonderful children. I mean, I live a pretty normal life I think. I am happy... the only worry I have is this murderer. He terrifies me and not a lot really scares me.” She admitted and shivered, thinking about him and what he could do to her friends and family.

7. Do you have a reputation around town? How would you say others perceive you?

She chuckled, finding the question quite funny. Her having a reputation? She was pretty ordinary, really, except: “I think that I am confusing to people. I mean, I don’t think that they would expect the school counselor and mother of three to be riding a Harley and yet I do, so that sometimes makes people frown a bit but other than that, I don’t think I really have any type of ‘reputation’. Maybe as a helicopter parent? Could be possible.” she said, smiling a little to lighten the mood a bit. The air in here felt oppressive to say the least.

8. Can you help me understand your personality? What are you like, both on the surface and deep down? What about in public versus in private?

She raised her eyebrows a little and looked a bit lost for words. “Uhm... God, I don’t know. I mean, I think that at work I am punctual, my office is always tidy and I really try to be there for the kids who want to speak to me and to find the students who need me the most, even though they don’t approach me. I’d say I am open-minded, as I get students in my office with all kinds of questions and problems, and I try to help them as best as I can.” She explained before continuing. “Privately, I think I am a very caring partner and mother. I make my family their lunch every morning, I make sure that everyone has what they need but I can be a bit overprotective of my children. I just really don’t like the idea of them getting hurt, so I do grill their friends and the parents of said friends. I am a little much, I know that but I just can’t even imagine having my children play out in the street, especially with what is going on.” She told them before she licked her lips. “I have also been told I am a little possessive over my wife and friends, but honestly, I think that is an exaggeration. Other than that... I like knowledge, I like being around people, going to the occasional party... I mean, I am really pretty run of the mill, I think.” She explained, not entirely sure why this was necessary because she could have told them anything really, but if they deemed it necessary, she wanted to help. She wanted these people to catch that guy. She wanted to see the face of the monster that killed her high school sweetheart.

9. Leading off of that, what would you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?

"This is sounding more and more like a job interview.” She said, chuckling slightly and taking another sip of her water. All of this talking was making her mouth go dry. “I think my greatest weakness is that I overthink and can be a little neurotic. That is no fun for the people you live with and it’s mentally exhausting. Oh, and I can’t resist the occasional cigarette.” She explained and then continued: “But I think that I am pretty resillient and I am intelligent, as well as quite fun to be around in general. I am also very good at caculating risks, even though that does annoy some people.”

10. Why don't you tell me some of your greatest regrets? And what about your greatest hopes?

"It’s not really a regret about something I did but I regret that my mother didn’t get to meet our youngest son, Reign. She always wanted us to have another child. To be honest, I don’t think she would have ever been satisfied with the number of grandchildren she had. Anyway, I do also regret not standing up for some kids back in high school. I see what bullying does to children now as a counselor and honestly, I should have spoken up back then.” She told them, but didn’t talk about the regrets she had regarding Dahlia. That she didn’t close the bedroom curtains before they were intimate, still convinced that the killer saw them. How she regrets not walking her home from school the next day, because then maybe nothing would have happened. She didn’t talk about how she regrets having spilled water over Dahlia’s love letters to her, making them now smeared and some parts barely readable - even though she knows them all by heart. She didn’t want to say that. Those were private sorrows and regrets, ones she couldn’t even share with her wife.

11. A bit heavier, I know, but I have to ask if anything has happened to you personally in your life that drastically changed you as a person?

"Well, obviously Dahlia and my mother’s deaths affected me greatly and have mostly created my overprotective nature but not all of the impactful moments have been bad. I mean, getting married and having children had an enormous impact on me, especially when Marcus joined the family. Having a child whose seeing is impaired really makes you look at the world and accessibility in general a lot differently. So... yes, I think those really are the events, really.” She told them, those being the only events she could think of, right at this moment.

12. And of course, I have to ask, were you in town when the Preacher Man was drowning people between '95 and '98? Did you happen to know any of the original seven victims? What was your life like during those tragic years? What was the aftermath?

She frowned, a little offended that he asked this again after she’d told him about Dahlia already. “I told you, didn’t I? I knew Dahlia. Losing her absolutely destroyed me and terrified me. I mean, he kills sinners. We’d just-” she cut herself off and looked up at the officer. He had to know. She had to tell him, even though it felt like something so private she’d feel naked speaking about it. It could be important. “the night before she disappeared, we’d... we’d slept together. t-the first time.” She told him, a bit embarrassed. “It was like he knew what we’d done and that is why she died. I... I feel like he might have seen us, which is... incredibly disturbing. I mean, maybe. That is just how it feels. Sometimes.” She clarified. “Maybe that’s not true. Maybe she was... hiding something else. I don’t know. Maybe she did nothing wrong. I... I just... it’s all a little much to think back to. I never talked about it much afterwards, so... I haven’t really processed it, I think.” She told them, as honestly as she could.

13. That said, did you know either Xavier Bordelon or Sara Mears personally? If so, what was your relationship to them? How much have their deaths affected you?

She nodded. “Sara was a student at the high school, until she left. I’ve worked as a couselor there for around eleven years, so... I mean, I talked to her occasionally. Her death rocked me to my core. It brought back memories, as you probably can understand. I didn’t know personally Xavier, though but... the return of the Preacher Man... it’s... it’s terrifying. I have three children, I have a wife and... and he has taken someone I loved from me once before. What if he does it again?” She asked, knowing that the absolute fear she felt must be obvious in her eyes. She couldn’t lose them. She’d probably go insane.

14. Lastly, Where were you on the nights of March 10th and July 24th and is there anyone that can corroborate your alibi?

She raised her eyebrows. “You think I was involved?” She wondered, a little flabergasted but after shaking her head in disbelief, she answered easily. “My youngest son was born on the 9th of March and I was with my wife in the hospital. I paid for one of those rooms with a second bed, so I could sleep in there with her. I think the night nurse can confirm we were there. My two other kids were at their grandparents’ house.” She explained before she said: “and on the 24th of July, I was in Los Angeles with my family on holiday. I can show you the booking confirmation and the dated pictures of us on holiday.” She explained, still annoyed that she actually needed an alibi. “So, can I please go now? I have to go pick Rey up from school.”

headcanons

She had a commitment ceremony with her wife eleven years ago but got married to her when same-sex marriage became legal in the state. They have three children together. Their oldest is a daughter, whom was carried by Brooke. Her name is Rey and she’s seven years old. They always wanted to adopt and four years ago, they did adopt a boy named Marcus who is of South African decent and is legally blind. Their youngest son was born on the 9th of March and his name is Reign. He is now around five months old.

Brooke owns a Harley Davidson 2015 Fat Boy and it is her baby. She is not handy at all, so when something is wrong with it she does need to get it fixed by someone else but she absolutely adores riding around on it and the sense of freedom and power it gives her. Her wife calls it a death trap, but has admitted that seeing Brooke take her helmet off after riding does have it’s allure.

She still has a box in the attick that is hidden in an old wardrobe which contains love letters, pictures and a diary that are all detailing her relationship with Dahlia. No one knows it’s there and Brooke rarely looks inside of it but does, on the date of when she first kissed Dahlia and when Dahlia was discovered dead. She is still in love with the memory of her and she isn’t sure if her wife would cope knowing that.

extra ic details

I really want her to get closure surrounding Dahlia and the guilt she feels because it honestly isn’t healthy, especially now that the killer is back. It is bringing up so many memories and old feelings for a girl who has been dead for so long. It’s almost hero worship in her mind and she is the one who, aside from the killer, is responsible for the death of Dahlia. She is convinced that the killer took her because they had sex and that maybe, Dahlia would be alive if she’d just walked her home on the day she disappeared.

I think that all of this also would lead to struggles in her otherwise calm marriage. It will probably be obvious that Brooke is struggling and she will probably become distant from her wife, because having sex with her could mean that she might be killed to - in her mind, it is almost a cause and effect type of deal. I am really interested in exploring that.

Aside from that, she does have a child whose sight is impaired, which I think is somehting that they knew when they adopted him but I think it’s quite hard for Brooke. She is a worrier and she wonders how well her child will be able to cope and be a productive member of society. Of course that is ignorant, so I would love for her to really delve into finding a support group for herself and her wife, as well as meet blind people who can show her that success and happiness are possible.

There is also the issue that her father has never accepted her sexuality and doesn’t believe two women can raise children, especially boys so to see her deal with that is certainly something I will be dedicating self-para’s to. It’s complicated because the father has only outright said it just before their commitment ceremony and then never again, he just shows that he doesn’t agree quite subtly. It is torture to Brooke and it is something her children are starting to notice to, which makes it even worse. Should they really be around someone who doesn���t approve of their family?

She is a guidance counselor and one of her students has just been murdered, so I think that helping the students cope and hearing their stories, might have quite an effect on her. It will remind her of how she was when Dahlia died, so that makes it even heavier.

I think Brooke also needs to pick up a hobby, because she honestly just has her work, her motorcycle and her children so seeing her really try and get a friend group and explore what she likes to do will be interesting because aside from a few select friends, she’s pretty alone in the world, I think.

#[ biography ]