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emberdragon240 · 4 years

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BFDI Done In Hermitcraft: Chapter 1: The Plank P1

(This is also on Wattpad if that’s your thing)

"I know, she was so scared over nothing! The bee wasn't even that big, and False was freaking out!"

"Really, Iskall?"

"Really, and yet she calls herself a badass."

"She is in a way, do you remember when she asked Bdubs if she was beautiful?"

Flashback to a week ago

"Bdubs, am I beautiful?"

"Umm, sorry, but no-"

*proceeds to get yeeted to the sun*

End of flashback

"Right, I remember that, and I still hate her!" Bdubs jumped into Grian and Iskall's conversation about how False was a complete asshole. She was so rotten, even Joe hated her, and that was very unusual for him to think of people.

"I swear, I'm gonna get revenge on her! I am honsetly so glad you guys are my friends, really!" Even though they didn't really know eachother, (almost) everyone was friends on the Hermitcraft island.

"You're my friend too, right, Mumbo?" Bdubs said as he grabbed Mumbo and started squeezing him with no mercy.

"Bdubs, stop!" Grian and Iskall yelled before there was a sickening crunch and their communicators buzzed with a death message.

*MumboJumbo was suffocated*

"Sorry about that," Bdubs said, clearly embarrassed at what happened. Mumbo eventually respawned in one of those respawn generators, only to get almost killed by Jevin pointing a sword at his chest.

"Hey! I just respawned!" Mumbo said, exasperated.

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame the stupid Tango here, it's his fault!" Jevin said as he kicked Tango in the face, making him let go as he flew into the ocean.

"Fine! I'll grab Cleo instead," Tango said before grabbing Cleo out of nowhere and yeeting her to Mumbo, which was a very close dodge.

"Yikes!" Mumbo said. She was also conveniently holding a sword, so it was a pretty close call. "What was that for!?" Mumbo asked.

"What? I'm just in the mood to hurt someone," Tango replied. He then found Keralis, which he kicked with absolutely no mercy. Keralis screamed his ass off as he flew, conveniently passing by Wels. He then landed on the ground face first in shallow water where Stress was doing something.

"Keralis! What are you doing there? There's a life to enjoy, so enjoy it!" Stress said in her cheering state. Keralis had a liking for TFC for some reason, so went to him and starting acting all lovingly. A little bit too lovingly, because TFC kicked him into the air as well.

"TFC, calm down," Joe said with papa bear mode set to low. "Kicking him that hard can have permanent side effects. He IS light-weight," Joe lectured as Keralis continued flying in the air once again and as he flew past Wels, not much happened, why am I mentioning this? Anyways, he eventually fell because of the laws of physics, and he fell right onto Zedaph, and as he got up, he noticed... blood. I think you can guess what happened from there. The scream was so loud it could be heard all over the island.

"Keralis is such a scaredy-cat," Cub complained. "He's so annoying. Scar, though, you're cool," Cub said to his friend and partner-in-crime-I mean, partner-in-business.

"So are you, Cub!" Scar complimented back. Meanwhile, Wels was still flying before crashing into a mountain at low speeds, so he didn't take too much damage from the crash. The weird thing though, was that Zedaph was just sitting there as if he took a nap with his eyes open. Wels shouldn't have been surprised, though, since he always acted as if he was on LSD.

"Zedaph! Wake up!" Wels shook Zedaph awake.

"What? Hi, Wels!" Zedaph said as he was jolted awake. Wels sighed before yeeting Zedaph behind him (seriously, why are the hermits constantly yeeting each other around?). Zedaph flew along, all in a excitement that you only feel when you're high until he fell onto Joe, barely surviving.

"Oh, hi Joe, my good old friend!" Zedaph greeted Joe tiredly and before passing out from his injuries. Meanwhile, Doc and Ren were sitting near Impulse with an angry glare. They still couldn't get over the whole Area 77 thing, so here we are.

"Ren! You're an absolute idiot!" Doc yelled at Ren. He did not get the reaction he was expecting though, because Ren's response was to slap him.

"Hey!" Doc yelled, surprised.

"Oh my god, your face feels so good to slap!" Ren said. He was not acting like himself today. He then went on a slapping spree. He was about to continue when Xisuma caught him in the act.

"Doc! Ren! Stop fighting!" Xisuma yelled at the two. "And Impulse, take a bath, you stink," X commented at Impulse who was just watching.

"Sorry," Impulse said.

"Isn't X bossy?" Tango asked Cub, who were both watching the scene.

"I know! He's like a bossy bot!" Cub tried to make a joke, but all he got were stares from Scar, Tango and Wels.

"Uh, you know, a bossy robot?" Cub tried to explain the joke which only got more awkward stares.

"Um, here's the thing; a robot that was built to be at it's bossiest," Cub tried to explain further which didn't help one bit, but everyone got tired of staring at him and decided to stare at the now setting sun. "I'd do anything to get away from him," Cub said. "Or False, or Keralis, or Impulse," then conveniently and suspiciously in time, out of some mysterious smoke, some kind of... creature? Came out of the smoke

"Well then, you're in luck!" The thing said, and it was obvious it was female. It seemed to be some kind of dragon hybrid, Ender Dragon maybe? And had a crop top with decked out armor on the bottom. She also had some kid of belt with fabric that would cover her private if she didn't already have pants on.

"Uh, how?" Cub asked. The girl who seemed to be in her 20

"They're creating the server of paradise, everyone," She continued. "It's called Dream Island. It's one square mile (2.5 kilometers for all you people outside of the US) of luxury. It has a 5 star hotel, a casino, six restaurants, robot servants, and the server's whitelisted, so the winner gets to chose who's allowed in, and who's not!" She described trying to sound all excited too hard.

"Ok, what does it cost?" Cub asked. If he couldn't pay it entirely, he might borrow some of his best friend's diamonds because that's what friends do! /s

"Not even a penny," The woman responded.

"Sounds like a deal! Me and my friend'll take it!" Cub answered excitedly.

"But what about about the rest of the people here? Don't they want it too?" The mysterious being asked.

"Well, I wouldn't give up that server for anything," Cub answered.

"Everyone here's thinking the same thing," she responded. "So you know what that means. We must settle this with a reality TV show- I mean, a contest."

Cue the intro

"So yeah," the mysterious woman who still hasn't given her name yet said, "whoever stays on this plank the longest wins."

"Go."

"Let's help each other," Stress said. She wouldn't let this contest affect her! Or at least she hoped so.

"Yeah!" Jevin agreed.

"Tango, wake up! What are you doing?" Ren asked Tango, who was clearly asleep for some reason.

"Uh oh!" Impulse said as he slipped off the bar, to which no one noticed.

"Get out of my way!" False said as she was pushing people into the pool of water underneath the plank with her sword. "I need my space!"

"Help me, Jevin!" Stress said as she was falling and close to becoming another one of False's victims. Being made of slime was pretty convenient in this situation though, as he was able to stretch and easily save her from the cold, murky waters of failure.

"Thanks!" Stress said.

"Let's form an alliance!" Mumbo said to the Architect team who all agreed with him, but it unfortunately fell over unwanted ears, as Bdubs heard over from the other side of the plank and was interested now.

"Did I hear an alliance is being formed? I've gotta join!" Bdubs said as rushed over, pushing Scar off the plank on the way.

"Can I be part-" was all Bdubs was able to say before they were all falling into the ocean.

"No." was the only thing Iskall said before they all fell into the water and had Dream Island out of their reach. While all of this was happening, Ren was still trying to wake up Tango.

"Tango, wake up!" Ren said while shaking him before he accidentally put him down too close to the plank and he started to fall. "Oops," but just then, Tango woke up and walked back up on the plank, pushing Ren off in the process.

"Ren! Don't ever-" Tango said before he realized what he just did. "Whoops,"

Final 6!

"Look, there's the evil False," Stress said to Jevin as she pointed at False. "She's still in,"

"Let's run her over!" Jevin suggested to False.

"Yeah!" She said, excitedly. This was only a harmless joke, she was gonna apologize later!

"Uh oh," Tango thought out loud as they started trampling over. The plan didn't work, however, and the two got kicked into the air by False.

"Hey, we're flying!" Jevin realized.

"You're right! Woohoo!" Stress confirmed, completely forgetting that what comes up, must come down.

"Uh-oh," Jevin remembered as they almost fell off the plank with TFC, but Stress managed to get a grip.

"Pull up," Jevin commanded Stress.

"I... can't!" Stress realized, getting ready for their fate. "Oh no! Tango? Zedaph? Help!" Stress cried for help. Eventually, Tango stepped on her hand, preventing it from falling any further.

"What is it?!" Tango asked, annoyed.

"You're stepping on my hand." Stress mentioned as Tango got off her foot.

"There, better now?" Tango asked.

"Yes, now pull us up." Stress said, but as Tango tried to pull the three up, he fell over and only had his feet on the plank now, the only part that still had a chance of getting the invite to Dream Island.

"Hold onto my other arm, TFC," Stress told him, who complied. Then the hugest dick on the planet towered over them as she started laughing in that cartoon villain sort of way.

"Ha, ha! I'm wearing non-slip shoes, so boo-hoo you weirdos!" False mocked them in her usual annoying way when Tango came up with an idea and kicked her over with one of his feet, but False grabbed onto Jevin to his extreme dislike before he came up with the idea to... lick her?

"Aaah, AAAHHH!" False screamed as she instinctively pulled away, but she instantly realized was a big mistake when she starting falling, falling, and eventually into failure.

"Nice work, Jevin! A job well done!" Stress complimented Jevin's great idea.

"TFC, let's swing!" Jevin said as they swinged back onto the plank, completely forgetting about Tango and Stress.

"Jevin, alliance, remember?" Stress reminded Jevin, who pulled Stress back up onto the plank.

"Stress! You're stepping on me!" Tango said.

"What?" Stress said before Tango fell. "Oops,"

Final 4!

TFC was the first to think and the quickest, as he pushed the unsuspecting Zedaph into the water, who seemed to be having another acid trip. He pushed a little too far, though, as he also fell into the dark, cold water. Now it was just Jevin and Stress left in the battle.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" They said in coordination. Stress chose paper, while Jevin chose scissors.

"Scissors beats paper, so I get to push you off!" Jevin announced, which surprised Stress.

"Wait, what!? I never agreed to that!" Stress said.

"Ok, here's the thing: when I win, I'll invite you to Dream Island." Jevin said, trying to make a deal with Stress.

"This still isn't fair, Jevin," Stress confronted him.

"Only one of us can will, after all," Jevin said while holding up

his middle finger instead of his pointer.

"Jevin, wrong finger." Stress reminded him.

"Whoops," Jevin said with an awkward chuckle. "But my point still stands."

"And that's where you're wrong," the mysterious woman popped out from a cloud of smoke once again. "You two both win!"

"We both get the invite?" Jevin asked.

"Not quite, you two actually get to choose teams for a more longer, larger competition for the invite to Dream Island."

#hermitblr #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfic #bfdi #parody #writing

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