#it consumed about 70% of my life during lockdown and now i barely care about it :(

[kneworder]

tua3 was so tough. within the year it after it came out -- june 22 2022 - june 22 2023 -- just 2,679 works under the fandom tag were updated on AO3. that may seem like a decent chunk, but compare this to the relatively even distribution between july 31 2020 - july 21 2021 (the year after season 2 came out), where 5,326 were updated, and february 15, 2019 - february 15, 2020 (the year after season one), where there were 5,637. tua used to have one of the most vibrant, collaborative, active fandoms i've ever had the pleasure to be in, and the sheer mediocrity of season 3 seemed to just take a wrecking ball to that community pretty much overnight. literally cut its fanfiction output in half. still makes me sad.

#and this is works updated. like people are abandoning their fics. ive never seen a fandom implode so badly. #i still keep up with a couple of fics but i don't engage with tua much anymore and it just makes me sad. #it consumed about 70% of my life during lockdown and now i barely care about it :( #the umbrella academy

[gelofrncsc]

of bitter coffees and sweet tomorrows

[Sips, sips, sips]

You know that moment when the sunlight peeks through your bedroom window making you half-awake. Wearing your loose white sando, checkered jammies, and mismatched socks from the night before.

With the smell of sunny-side up and sinangag being tossed and turned in the pan. And that 90s beat of your favorite Sunday classic on the radio – there is no better way to start one’s morning.

Oh, I’d give up everything to be that person.

[Sips]

“Ahhh, it burns.”

     A bitter taste of reality.

During this pandemic, I chose to be bitter. I start my day with a cup of coffee without cream, without sugar – just plain black. This is my tiny way of reminding myself that the world out there is bitter.

Not to burst that bubble of positivity you have, but that’s just how living is. It is bad, it is unfair, and it is not safe especially with the pandemic. People are poor, suddenly a lot became unemployed, and most are hungry.

This lockdown made us choose between dying from sickness or starvation. The government is generous enough to impose a quarantine without any plan for those who do not have a stable job, and that’s about 70 percent of the Filipinos.

[Sips]

“Ahhh, it’s perfect.”

We cannot afford your Starbucks, it’s too classy.

It’s funny how a few are somewhat thankful for the national quarantine. It gives us a chance to unwind and take a vacation away from the real world, they say.

I have been seeing posts from celebrities and influencers saying we should spend this free time to reconnect with our family, with nature, and with ourselves. Some even call out people to simply follow the policy for it is not that big of a deal.

Well, I hate to break it but that’s not how life works for everyone.

     I am sorry but not all of us are lucky enough to worry about how to feed our family. Not all of us have a stable job. Not all of us have a house of our own. Not all of us can pay for our monthly bills easily. Not all of us are privileged. Not all of us. . . No.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Taking a time off is totally good but while you enjoy what you call a vacation, people outside the comfort of your home are drowning with debts just to eat once a day, at least.

Jeepney drivers, street vendors, and those who don’t have the luxury of time and money to lay around their houses all day barely survive.

[Sips, sips]

“Ahhh, it’s almost empty.”

If I am a coffee, I sure am a mixture of black and cream.

I am neither rich nor poor. I do not have much allowance but I eat three times a day. I do not have a car but I can pay for my fare. My house is far from school but at least I have one of my own.

I worry about how the pandemic will affect my life but not to the extent of whether my family can survive every day or not. I know how awesome it feels to be privileged yet I also know how brutal it is to be poor.

People nowadays are so consumed by the idea of self-care that it turns them to be more self-centered. I sometimes wonder if social media have overflowing solutions, why is the society outside still overwhelmed with problems.

[Sips, gulp]

“Ahhh, another bitter coffee.”

     Since the pandemic started, I began to make my coffee hot, plain and bitter. You should try it too. I strongly believe that for the privileged, it is a must.

It will slap you to wake up from your long, fantastical dream. It will help you taste the bitter reality most people have right now. It will make you do something for them, something outside your tweets and posts – something really helpful.

Because only then, when you start to realize how coffee tastes for them, that’s when you’ll start to really care. And you can do it – little by little, one less spoon of sugar a day.

That’s when they can taste another flavor of life, that it can at times be sweet for them too.

So why don’t you make your coffee bitter for a change? Then we can all share our sweet tomorrow.

After all, a bitter today sweetens our tomorrow even more.

[Sips]

[Puts down the cup]