#insults disrespect threats of violence and then abandonment i deserved what happened it's part of my curse no one could love something like

[headofthedemonn]

I had a rather peculiar dream I plan on writing about it later being able to recall my dreams in detail is good and bad because there are dreams I want to remember and the others I don't.

#I'm ashamed and angry at myself for being vulnerable with someone who didn't care about me who didn't even like me but lied about those #thing's lied about something so big that i hold in great importance and for what reason i still don't know probably never will. I'm feeling #the pain of loneliness the pain of misunderstanding the pain of longing for someone i can hold and take care of someone i can cherish #but i can't shake this feeling that God hates me and that he has from the beginning my own family has disregarded me time and time again so #i was a fucking idiot to think someone could love me why is it that the one thing i want i can't have i suppose that's God's curse to want #something so bad to have love in you but no one sees you for that they only want to hurt me lie to me fill my head with false promises #insults disrespect threats of violence and then abandonment i deserved what happened it's part of my curse no one could love something like #my family didn't care about me before still don't God left my prayers unanswered he didn't love me and still doesn't why did i expect him #to love me because i was too fucking stupid to realize no one could i was hurt and manipulated before he did the same thing why did i think #someone could love something like me? it was all i ever wanted after what I've been through but it's impossible for me