#inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a

[fellhellion]

#feel free to reblog the meme if u like lmao #just leave the tags out #vent.txt #<- sorry just need to have a moment lmao #inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a #part of it #like. I don’t trust people. I don’t confide in people. I tell them nothing about myself for years and years and I used to resent a little #that that was enough for them. that they didn’t NEED to know. that me loving and caring for them was enough. but it’s so silly because like #how can you resent people for not knowing what you won’t tell them. so thankfully THAT has passed #but it’s just like. there are so many issues. like I just CANNOT conceptualise myself as romantically attracted #attractive* #not even in a self deprecating sense it just feels like an immutable fact. I can’t imagine someone looking at me w romantic desire. #and it’s like. I honestly don’t know if I could let my walls down enough to actively love someone back like that #it’s so easy to love from afar. and hell haha maybe THATS because it’ll always be easier to love someone when they can’t know all of you to #love in return #but I just don’t know how I can do it. I don’t know how to view the risk as being worth it #and at the end of the day I’ll be okay if romantic love isn’t in the cards for me. you can live a happy life without #but ah fuck. sometimes the but I am so lonely.jpg hits