#in the past few days i went through

[pretty-ichor]

i feel like a little kid bc everyday i keep thinking no no i dont want THIS job im actually going to be THIS when i grow up!!!!!

#in the past few days i went through #florist cook baker cake decorator builder (specifically walls) cybersecurity #dying and being dead

[liashinigami]

Was gonna gather my thoughts and write a post tmr on the general mood in the ofts space after the finale bc I feel like a whole bunch of people overthink the amount of editing that was supposedly the result of "promo couple fans complaining too much" but I literally cannot sleep before I get this off my chest so here goes nothing:

Do you guys not understand how tv show productions work....

The script was written, reworked, and then finalized before they even began filming. Yes they might have changed some stuff between the initial scrips draft they had before the mock trailer and the true beginning of production this year but considering that they booked two at the time new but well received promo couples (remember that this show was already in planning at a time when Enchené and The Eclipse were still very very fresh), TopMew and SandRay were always gonna be endgame. It's especially obvious now that the full series is out bc if you go back and watch the mock trailer, all the same storybeats are there. This is how the story was supposed to go from the beginning. They most likely cast two promo couples on purpose because of the added bonus of pre-established compatibility and chemistry needed for endgame couples in such a messy series.

Then they filmed stuff. They finished filming I believe the day that episode 3 aired, so they could not have changed any of the ending based on audience reactions (as I have seen multiple people suggest), since we were barely a few epiaodes into the story. The book based on the series was also already finished and in the last stages of preparing to be released. The only thing they actually did was edit out parts of scenes or full scenes that they found did not add anything at this point in the story (like the sandray garage scene) or would actively harm what we, the audience, are supposed to be understanding and feeling right now (like the Mew smashing shit scene and Top attempting to sleep with someone else, which both were explained to have been cut because audiences were reacting strongly negative to Top even a few episodes into his redemption arc, when we were clearly supposed to start being on his side). They might also have moved some scenes around to aid the story flow but I am unsure of that one (I suspect the scene where Ray and Mew finally solve their shit out was supposed to be directly before the SandRay donut scene bc of obvious clothing reasons, bc they either fucked up hardcore with clothing continuity or moved the first SandRay rehab discussion to after the RayMew talk because it made more sense that way when seeing it played out on screen. If that was the case I am glad for it bc it would have felt a bit weird the other way around idk...).

All of this is however not new. It happens all the time in film and broadcasting production (also in book publishing....this is why editors and alpha/beta readers exist. I mean Brandon Sanderson's books famously go through four (?) stages of feedback before they get published...). Some scenes just get dropped in editing because when you see it on screen it feels redundant or not quite right, so it gets taken out before it changes what they want the audience to take away from other scenes. Movies and tv shows that have months between filming and airing dates usually solve this issue with test screening audiences and several runs of editing. There have been instances of Movies having test screenings at cinemas and then having their release date scrapped because they have to be re-edited completely as a result of unexpected audience feedback. GmmTV series being on smaller budgets and timeframes results in this time window falling away and relying on observing audience reactions to already aired episodes closely and then editing the next episode close to its release is one strategy to still ensure that you bring across what you wanted to (Kdramas also do this very frequently). It might not be ideal but it's not unusual and it certainly does not mean that anything substantial from the story was changed. All the storybeats as well as the character and relationship development remained the same because they already had everything filmed. They did not do reshoots or we'd know it. The story was planned this way. It was in the script. If you did not like it, then you did not like it. But don't accuse the directors of "bending to the will of fans" bc that's just plain wrong.

I too have my issues with some of the writing and some of the characterizations. But let's keep the criticism where it is actually deserved ok?

Edit: I have also seen quite a few people over here and also on Twitter say how disappointed they are in the "editing based on audience reaction" and that they should release a "directors cut" with all the scenes but like....this IS the directors cut. THEY decided how to edit this because the original intent is not always what arrives in the brains of the audience. Storytelling is a two-way street and if a massive chunk of your audience interprets a part of your story so differently to how you intended it to be understood, edits are necessary. Because that means that your intent is not communicated well enough.

#only friends #ofts #only friends the series #I said pretty much the same things a few weeks back added onto someone else's post a few weeks back #back when that interview with jojo and ninew came out where they first said they look at audience reaction before they edit the next ep #I thought we got past that but apparently not #apparently people need to justify their own frustrations towards the writing and the storyline in weird ways #blame it on 'couple fans' #completely ignoring that realistically most people who got interested in this show found it through the mock trailer release #way back when the eclipse had barely finished airing and enchenté was also only a few months out #heck I hadn't even watched those two shows when the mock trailer came out and I went insane #haven't watched any other forcebook show to this day and while I liked the eclipse I certainly wouldn't have called myself a firstkhao stan #and still it was obvious to me from the mock trailer way back when and then the proper trailer a few months ago who would end up with who #I just feel like a lot of y'all were anticipating a different show than what it was advertising itself as...

[jacketpotatoo]

Hey @thehomelybadger , thank you for breaking my heart

#the way I picked up my iPad and started drawing angst #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #piltover’s finest #caitvi #arcane #fanart #jacketsketch #(this was scheduled before chap 32 came out - I need to sleep so I haven’t read it yet but oh boy) #but I also want to say before I do - thank you. #thank you so much for telling this story. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest when I say it got me through a lot these past few months #it fueled my inspiration it calmed me down on bad days when I was beating myself up with stress it gave me something to grasp onto #I love your characters - every quirk and trait you’ve gave them and this world you’ve fleshed out #I hadn’t seen a second of ice hockey and now I’m looking up reference photos and trying to get the jerseys down #i love these guys and it pains me to be letting them go already - I can’t imagine how it’s like for you - but I’m forever grateful for this #wonderful thing you’ve created out of just the pure love for the characters and for hockey #I went into this thinking ‘hey what a lovely bedtime story’ #and I’m heading to its end forever changed and impacted by it for the better #so thank you badger - see you when I read the next chap

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[pinksilvace]

people will really draw anything but what they're supposed to (I'm people)

#I didn't mean for lonnie to look so close to lozeyart's design of him. whoops. it's just so iconic in my head #to my beloved mutuals who've been thinking that it's been too long since I made cursed crossover art: I've been thinking that too #will I maintag this? that remains to be seen #this is how I cope with life #my art #fernart #you know the worst part of this??? I could actually write a fic about them #the most aroace characters that live in my head #I bet alonzo could fix philip if they managed to survive one another for the first ten minutes #something something alonzo was preparing to be his family's protector in the event that the current protector went MIA #something something philip is still a child at his core because he's clung so desperately to a past that never existed #this started out as a joke to release stress through but I've now concocted a full au in my head over the past day #if I don't make this art then nobody ever will. but also. does it really need to be made? eh who cares #I need to scare off a few followers every now and then

[magentagalaxies]

.

#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted #i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter #the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back #and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context #or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with #''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!'' #which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it #BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM???? #and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with #i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together #but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person #it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist #but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary #of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be #and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it #but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well #or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations #and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think #or even what other people understand #but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun #and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time #he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i #and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma #is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!'' #that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels #i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott #idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back #but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: April 15

"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor

#song of the day #it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day #the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time #and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track #and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed #I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone #but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on #updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see #I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database #yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting #I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved #(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop) #I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more #I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising #got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous #got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet #so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly #I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu #drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also #and these past few days I've been sleeping better #for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend #I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday #what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around #edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs #I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh) #James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here

[jeonqkooks]

i’m really not joking when i say i think about these asks all the time

#i just went through the 💌 tag and i- #man i really needed that #if we’re being honest we haven’t really been ok since december but that is beside the point lol #reading those asks again could make me burst into tears on my lunch break rn #you guys are so kind to me for no reason i love you so much my pocket friends #you guys are always there for me when i feel bad about my writing. which is… often lol #i miss my boos i miss our community i miss how tight we were #i’m aware that it’s silly to get so emo about a tumblr blog lol #but yk you’re my pocket friends and you’ve helped me through a lot of hard times :( #i love you if you’re still sticking around and putting up with me. i love you even if you already left #i have no idea what’s wrong with me lol i’ve been so emotional these past few days and i’m not even pms-ing #anyways i’m all over the place k bye i just needed to word vomit #jen rambles #edit: reading this back 2 hrs later is so embarrassing i’m sorry i forced it on your dash lol

[amochi]

A fucking break would fix me I need a fucking break

#like seriously #I know I just had a week off for the holidays #but the first half of that week I spent just trying to catch up on sleep #and trying to relax from my anxiety and stress over experiencing everything I went through the past few months #so by the time I was actually comfortable and content I only had like a few days left before I went back to work #I hate this system #thoughts

[galpalaven]

tagged by @ava-du-mortain for 10 songs I've been into lately!!

Hell's Comin' With Me by Poor Man's Poison

Love Bites (So Do I) by Halestorm

Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless

Don't Stop the Devil by Dead Posey

Constellations by The Oh Hellos

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross

SH SH SH (Hit That) by DVBBS feat. Wiz Khalifa

hate to be lame by Lizzy McAlpine feat. FINNEAS

tagging @vanityvampire @verpine95 @whynotsableye @ash-soka @mypunkpansexualtwin @littlebirdofprey and anyone else that wants to do it!!

#we are in OC feels with all of these jfdslk #granted i just went through my spotify with what i remember hitting repeat on the past few days but yEAH

[milkteafaeriie]

.

#vent #i dont think im in love with my boyfriend anymore #i still love him but i dont think its in the same way anymore #i feel hes more of a brother to me now #ive been feeling this for a few days and im just so scared #i dont know how to make such a change after 5 years #and i have to make sure this is how i really feel because i cant throw that all away #part of me wants to try and make him break up with me so i dont have to do it but i cant do that to him #i dont want him to hate me i want him in my life even if we're not together anymore #hes so important to me that i can't imagine life without him in it #im so scared because i dont want to hurt him but at the same time i cant lead him on and make him believe i still love him that way #i just dont know what to do #this is the longest and most serious relationship ive had in my life #we went through so much together in the past #ive known being with him through all my early 20s #its so hard to imagine not being with him #i have to figure out how i feel but its painful even to think about m #ill figure it out like i always do

[thathilomgirl]

   Mia had certainly experienced something far beyond common sense, and she vaguely thinks that only God could do something like that. 　She was just making the most of the opportunities that she’s been given, and there's no lies here. Mia is being honest. "And the reason I started was all because of someone's prayer..." 　Mia gently closed her eyes. 　That memory is now far gone, but it’s a memory that will never fade away. 　On the day Mia was sent to the guillotine... there was someone who prayed for her in the dungeon. 　There was someone who stood by her and was kind to her until her last day... 　 Anne prayed for God's protection for me just as I was about to be executed. If you think about it, it's no exaggeration to say that everything started from then.

-Part 8, Chapter 140

#Tearmoon Empire #Tearmoon Teikoku Monogatari #Mia Luna Tearmoon #Anne Littstein #Salt and Light #Spoilers #Web Novel Spoilers #Hello I've been going crazy the past few days because I went through the web novel chapters through Google Translate #The fact that this scene gets mentioned again in a really important scene more than 1000 chapters later really makes it sink in hard #Everything in this story all came about just because Anne prayed for Mia #There's a lot of other things I want to talk about from that chapter alone but I'll just focus on this one for now #Prayer

[rotisseries]

just remembered in march how I scrounged through the entire ellabs ao3 tag on some sort of feverish mission after binging playthroughs of both tlou games in the span of about 3 days. who else here remembers that

#“who else here remembers that” <- did not do anything more than vaguepost about it out of weird shame #hiii guys this is actually what my last post was about lollll I am lowkey falling into ellabs again just a little #read some new fics these past few days #I know why actually it's cause I'm really in a narines mood again and narines does not have as much content to pick through #and narines is not the same as ellabs they're different in a lot of ways actually but I get the important stuff #and I'm filling the hole I guess #sorry anyway yeah that's what the last post was about #I actually just went into the regular tlou tag I was just bored #was maybe gonna rb some fanart of ellie or abby or smth cause I lovee those two girls sm #and I just saw someone's post bitching. tagged with every possible fandom tag too btw (although admittedly not the ellabs one at least) #and I was like girl that's fine your opinion is your opinion but you're so boring😭 also you don't get it #“they could never be lovers??” OH BOY I FUCKING AGREE. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE FOR #anyway who loves mutual destruction raise your hands if you love mutual destruction

[valkyrietookmoved]

Sajou no Roukaku, Mémoire Antique and Uruwashi no Nightingale are a series of songs that build off of each other and hold a cohesive narrative that speaks on the growth and evolution of Valkyrie as a unit and the ideals they have decided to herald during their different eras in this essay I will-

#utter rambling #enstars #valkyrie #i don't have the brain power but I have been spinning around the idea that memoire antique and Uruwashi no Nightingale are connected #for quite a few days and listening to sajou no roukaku I feel like it fits too #like one follows to the next and you can see the changes valkyrie went through if you put them together #and I feel like they're the most idk the ones that show the more about the thoughts of unit? #like the heart itself? #maybe it's because they are the three more nostalgic/slow songs they have but the emotional weight in regards to the unit itself #feels a lot hevier in these three than in the others #even if they still very clearly speak of the unit's story and past like raisanka or the event songs #i don't know if I'm making any sense I feel so dizzy skdkekdld #valkyrie brainrot tag

[luobingmeis]

i can churn out thoughts on lan xichen like it’s nothing but for my thoughts on wei wuxian it’s like they have to slowly marinate over a well-tended fire for 48 hours before i go insane on tumblr dot edu at 3am

#anyways wwx + wen grave digging + wwx’s self-awareness of his past actions #anyways i unfortunately exist on twitter dot edu as well and every day i am more and more bored by #like aus/concepts where wwx is truly vengeful and feels as if he did nothing wrong and wants revenge #which again i’m needle in the haystacking this bc it’s a concept i see few and far between #but a wwx who believes in everything he did in the past is #[insert that post abt luo binghe and fanon wwx] #like the fact that wwx acknowledges the unfairness of the cultivation world #ex. they hunted him down but still use his inventions #while also getting the chance to literally look back on his past self and be like ‘oh yikes’ is so good #i think a lot abt the scene in empathy where he gets to see himself refusing to hold his sword and how he cringes #and now on the wen grave digging and how he resigns to being tied to the current gravedigging #yet also knows it isn’t technically baseless #and that even he knows he went to far with what he did to the wen corpses #i’m bringing blink into this bc of the whole trauma doesn’t justify your actions #(blink 2022) #and trauma/tragic backstory as a reason but not a justification #like!!!! yeah out of context a blood thirty wwx through and through would’ve been interesting but then that’s not wwx! #i also have mdzs thoughts on like. anger that i marinate on so much #the (fandom) vilification of anger vs. anger as a means of catharsis vs. anger as the vehicle holding characters back #<- not just mdzs but i think abt it irt mdzs a lot

[vimbry]

drains collapsed. under house

#we've had on and off plumbing issues for like 2 months now & this is why. so #no clear reason why probably just. you know age and wear. uk sewer system's old and garbage #my parent & I have had flu also which I still have a lingering cough/feel tired from #anddd we haven't been speaking to my grandparents (who we prev saw like. once a week) for about the same length as the plumbing issue #after they did something pretty selfish and thoughtless and are the type too proud to apologise/want everyone to move on #so now we're at a stalemate bc we're still hurt and it's like. even if we do move past it #I still view them differently now. you know? family disappointing you really leaves you feeling empty #I already went nc with my other parent in 2019 cause they suck and then my dog died in 2020 #just feel like I'm slowly running out of people in my immediate circle esp with pandemic limitations #and this is just like. a whole thing now on top of the existing energy crisis to worry about #also someone stole our recycling bin LMAO like I put it out for collection a few days ago and now it's just gone dk where it is #which is not that big a deal you can just order another for free but it's like. why'd you have to do that man #I want to be grateful for what I've got knowing people are living through warzones and famine rn but like #I'm very weak and things mess me up easily I won't lie #that information only makes things worse. I mean each year everything just gets worse around the world. #it's already blisteringly hot each summer I just don't feel very. hopeful about anything anymore #I've just been really depressed #I guess the good thing is not caring about anything means I don't even particularly care about venting this online lol #it's hard to feel any cringeworthiness or insecurity over anything when you're not feeling anything at all