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#im sure were gonna get to see them interact again [clinks glasses] heres 2 getting a scene where they havea genuine conversation.
boypussydilf · 8 months
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*wakes you up in the middle of the night at the sleepover again* yeah but like, even though she can’t really fully relate, marceline is kind of the best person to be actually effectively emotionally supportive to simon, right? she’s had absurdly fucked up things happened to her and had to learn how to live with it too. like largely the idea of stakes is “marceline had this super traumatic thing happen to her and she has to accept it as part of her and learn how to live with it in a way that’s healthy for her”. they’re in pretty different boats but simon still probably has more similar life experiences to her than to anyone else. and marcy always wanted to help him. however unfortunately he can’t stop seeing her as someone he has to protect and keep happy. he doesn’t want to “freak her out”.
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onceupon · 3 years
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London Boy - Part 3: I like girls that dance
summary: It’s your first night out and your first real introduction to Westheath. Rafe is quick to find his way on your radar.
pairing: Rafe x reader (slowburn)
warnings: swearing, drinking
word count: 4.6k
a/n: the way I’m imagining Jack Harlow as I write Liam 😩✋also, im pulling these chapter titles out of my ass - but actually tho, go listen to Girls That Dance by Masego 
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Part 1 Part 2
Despite your doubts, you put on the sheer top and the black mini skirt Millie and Olivia had insisted you wear. Your favorite pregame playlist plays as you do your makeup in the mirror. You move as quickly as you can, in desperate need of a shot to calm your nerves before your flat fills with people. You’re also nervous about seeing Rafe after that encounter in the kitchen you just had. 
As you run your fingers through your hair and put on your earrings, all you can see is his stupid (and annoyingly attractive) face, staring down at you with that dumb backwards cap, telling you that you guys should watch Game of Thrones together. Every time your mind starts to think if that means something, you quickly shut down the thought. Of course it doesn’t mean anything. Just because a boy wants to watch a show with you does not automatically mean he wants you or that this was going to turn into some kind of Netflix and chill situation. Or was this gonna be a Netflix and chill situation? I mean it was Rafe Cameron after all, the boy certainly had a reputation. But then again, hadn’t he just showed you that he’s different from what you had expected? Oh god this was all too much to think about right now, you needed a shot. Stat. 
“Y/N!” Olivia shouts, swinging the door to your room open right on cue. “Oh. My. God. You look so hot!” she exclaims. “Here, this is for you,” she extends a shot glass toward you with a devilish grin. 
“Oh god what is it,” you grimace. Shots always seemed like a better idea in theory than in practice. 
“Try it and find out,” she smirks. You sigh and send the liquid to the back of your throat, immediately cringing at the sting of raspberry vodka, Olivia bringing a cup of cranberry juice to your mouth to chase. 
“Don’t worry love, a few more and you won’t even taste it. Now come on,” she laughs, dragging you with her to the kitchen. The rest of your flatmates are already there, Millie bopping along to the music, giggling at whatever Topper is saying, Rafe standing close by sipping his drink. 
“Y/n you hottie!” Millie cheers, looking up as you make your way into the kitchen. You pray to god your cheeks aren’t turning pink. You don’t dare turn your head, but you know Rafe is staring at you. If you looked at him now you’d be crimson for sure. 
“Alright everybodyyy,” Olivia begins, pouring the same raspberry vodka into the five shot glasses she has lined up on the table. You can’t help but laugh at her infectious energy, this girl is nothing if not the life of the party. 
“Cheers to our first night out as flat mates! Wooo!!!” she exclaims, as everyone grabs a shot glass from the table, Rafe instinctively passing you one, hands briefly touching during the exchange and again as you all clink your glasses. You down the contents, unsure if the heat forming in your chest is from the vodka or the feeling of Rafe’s passing touch. 
Pretty soon people start to arrive, Olivia and Millie making sure to introduce everyone. The flat becomes a blur of bodies drinking, dancing, and mingling about, and somehow, despite it all, Rafe Cameron is the person you find yourself standing with. There was something magnetic about him that you couldn’t quite understand, but it kept drawing you near. 
“What are you drinking tonight Cameron,” you nod at the cup in his hand.
“Jack and coke. Of course,” he scoffs with subtle sarcasm, which you instantly pick up on. 
“Not straight whiskey? Wow. That’s not very Figure 8 of you,” you admonish playfully.
“Straight whiskey? L/n who do you think I am?” he twists his face in mock disbelief. “But I’m game to do a shot if you are,” he adds.
“Hmm that does-“ you begin, but you’re quickly cutoff. 
“Y/n, babe, if I had known you’d be here I would’ve came sooner,” Liam greets you with a kiss on the cheek and a cheeky smile. 
“Now how on earth do you two know each other,” Millie asks, walking in line with the boy.
“Umm,” you chuckle nervously. You could not have possibly felt more awkward at the conversation unfolding in front of you, Rafe standing by as witness to it all. “He’s that boy I went to the bar with the other night,” you explain sheepishly.
“That was Liam!? Chrissake. Well I apologize on his behalf for anything he said or did.”
“Hey I’ll have you know I’m a proper gentleman!” he defends, throwing you a wink as Millie rolls her eyes. Just at that moment, another group of people walk in through the door, conveniently coming to Rafe’s rescue.
“Rafe!” a girl calls and he clears his throat excusing himself, Millie following suit to greet the latest batch of guests. You watch as he leans in for a hug with the girl who’s just called his name. She’s twirling her hair and batting her eyes, confident, flirty, gorgeous - just his type. A sick feeling pools in your stomach, you don’t even realize you’re staring. 
“Lily Colts, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Liam informs you as he takes the now empty spot next to you.
“Oh, um no, I was just uh-“
“It’s okay Y/n, I get it. So flatmate huh” he laughs, unbothered.
“No no it’s not like that at all I uh-”
“Alright. Y/n,” he says, jumping up to sit on the counter behind him, cracking open the can in his hand. “You know I think you’re hot and you know I like messing with you-”
“Actually I know neither of those things,” you reply indignantly. 
“Yes you do, you’re not dim,” he bulldozes right on, “I can read people pretty well, and there was a vibe there.”
“A vibe?”
“Yeah. Between you and what’s-his-face. You should’ve seen the way he tensed up when I came up to you,” he snickers in amusement.
“Shut up. His name is Rafe, by the way, and there was no ‘vibe.’ Also why are you even telling me this?” you ask, growing frustrated with the cocky brunette.
“Y/n please,” he scoffs. “I told you I can read people, so let me read you. You’re out here in London right, far away from home, keen for a fresh start. You’ve never been one for meaningless flings, but fuck it, if everyone else can do it, why not you? Or so you try to convince yourself, but you know that’s not you. See, you crave that emotional connection, and when you find even a hint of it, you’re a goner. Which is why you’d never actually hook up with me and it’s why you’re staring at that boy from home even though you swear you don’t care, but you do - you feel something there.”
You’re dumbfounded by his ability to know things about you that even you yourself can’t recognize. “I liked it better when you were just flirting with me,” you grumble.  
“No worries darling, I’ll definitely still do that. I’ll even dance on you in the club if you ask nicely, might make pretty boy over there jealous,” he motions with his eyes toward Rafe, at which you give his shoulder a shove.
“You’re an idiot you know, Millie was right on the money with that,” you quip, as the two of you head over to her, Liv, and the boys.
“Please, Millie wishes she could be right on something else,” he says as you shoot him a glare, trying your best to suppress a laugh. Liam was starting to become a pain in your ass, too smart for his own good, but at least he was a funny one.
Your first night clubbing was going great. The place was packed, the music was good, and you were having a blast dancing with Liv, Millie, and their friends. You couldn’t help looking around the club though, eyes scanning for Rafe in the crowd. He’d been hanging out all night with Topper and some of the guys from their new soccer team. You longed to be near him somehow, to interact with him again. All your conversations with him earlier today had left you with an excited buzz - you didn’t know what it was about this version of Rafe Cameron in London, but you were actually enjoying his company.
You try to push him out of your mind and just enjoy the moment. It’s not like there was anything between you and Rafe, you had just barely began to form a semblance of a potential friendship today, let’s not get carried away. Besides, you live with the boy, accidentally running into him wasn’t going to be much of a challenge. 
“Anyone want anything from the bar?” you shout over the music to your friends.
“Vodka soda with lime please!” Olivia shouts back and you nod, turning to make your way to the counter a few feet away. You place your order and mindlessly tap your fingers on the bar as a figure appears beside you.
“Hey, Y/n right? Flatmates with Olivia, Mills, and the boys?” the girl asks, and you turn, now face to face with Lily. 
“Uh yeah, hey,” you feign a smile back. 
“I’m Lily, nice to meet you,” she smiles genuinely. “I’m friends with all the Westheath bozos you’ve probably been meeting tonight,” she laughs, “Callum and Henry over there are my best mates. They’re on the football team with Rafe and Topper, we were showing them around earlier. My god you guys have been hoarding some cute ones over there in America.”
You chuckle, “glad that Kildare’s presence can at least be of some benefit.” 
“So, girl to girl here, what can you tell me about Rafe Cameron? He’s such a hottie isn’t he? Would love to get a taste of that,” she smirks, licking her lips.
“Umm I don’t really have much to tell,” you say, unsure of how to navigate this conversation. You could tell her what you thought you knew of Outer Banks Rafe - he’s a rich, party-boy player. But after today, that no longer felt right. You didn’t want to say or presume anything about him at all actually, it felt wrong to talk about him like that. God, what the hell was wrong with you? You spend a few hours with the boy and you already have a soft spot for him? You needed to get a grip. “Our families know each other but we don’t really hang out at home. He’s uh- he’s cool though,” you decide as a sufficient response.
“Any girl friend?” she asks, sliding cash over to the bartender as she orders a shot.
“Rafe’s not really the ‘girlfriend-type’,” you answer, bartender sliding you the drinks you ordered and Lily her’s. 
“Well then cheers to that,” she grins, clinking her shot glass to your drink before she downs it, waving a quick goodbye. You watch as she makes her way back to Rafe and their group, adorning a flirty smile. You feel sick to your stomach. You wanted to hate her, you did. But you couldn’t. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was just confident, outgoing, and not afraid to go after what she wanted. There was nothing for you to be angry about, who was stopping you from doing the same?
 But in the back of your mind you decided you could never go after Rafe like that. He would never be interested in you in that way, you were sure of it. You had a hard time believing your friends when they hyped you up, so you definitely weren’t going to believe for a single second that a boy you thought was cool could possibly look at you in the same way. Besides, the mere idea of being rejected by Rafe Cameron, and then having to continue living with him and eventually go back to the Outer Banks for everyone to find out you had been rejected by the kook prince, was so mortifying that the very thought made you want to crawl into a hole. So you promise yourself, right then and there, that you won’t let yourself get hurt like that. You could hang out with Rafe, get to know him, become friends even, but under no circumstances could you be caught wearing your heart on your sleeve. You couldn’t disarm yourself like that and give him the upper hand. You needed to look out for yourself first and foremost, preserving the little bit of control you still had over your life. 
You walk back over to your friends, slipping Liv her drink as her and Jake dance together. Your new friends are all tipsy and in a world of their own, getting lost in the music and their movements.
“Dance with me,” you turn to Liam who’s right beside you.
“I said if you ask nicely,” he admonishes sarcastically, to which you roll your eyes.
“I’m not gonna beg Liam. You wanna dance or not?”
“Sheesh, Lily Colts got your panties in a twist like that?”
“Not. At. All.” You confidently stare into his eyes, sipping your drink. It’s no use, Liam knows you all too well by now, and you curse yourself for the way in which this boy is able to see right through all the walls you put up. You may think these walls are made of brick, but to Liam they’re glass.
He just laughs at you, shaking his head in amusement. He grabs your free hand and pulls you closer to him, your bodies now pressed together. He takes your hand and rests it on the back of his neck, his finding their way to your hips. He plants his leg in between yours and soon you guys are lost in the rhythm. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying every second. He spins you around and you lightly grind your ass against him.
“Damn Y/n, I didn’t know you move like that,” he jokes, as you face forward again. He leans in, his hand on the small of your back, and you feel his breath right against your ear, “he’s looking by the way.” Your breath hitches, but you know better than to turn around. Liam is already one step ahead of you, instinctively twirling you again so you can quickly catch a glimpse of Rafe’s eyes on yours without it being obvious. “Told you he’d be jealous,” he smirks down at you triumphantly.
“Shut up,” you reply, the slightest smile tugging at your lips as your sweaty bodies continue to move to the music.
—-
“Aw flatmate bonding you guysss,” Olivia gushes, as you all sit together at a booth. She had forced you all out of your beds this morning to get breakfast together. Despite being hungover and groggy, you all reluctantly agreed. “Mimosas anyone?” she jokes.
“If I so much as smell any alcohol I think I’ll vomit,” Topper groans.
“Aw, what’s the matter, can’t handle your liquor Tops?” Millie asks, quirking her head to the side.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. Could ask you the same question. My room is right next to the bathroom, don’t think I didn’t hear your retching last night,” he snaps back, to which Millie turns bright red and soon you’re all hunched over in laughter.
“I think a mimosa would make me yak right now too, to be fair. Coffees all around!” Olivia asserts.
You’re seated across from Rafe as you both scan your menus, your eyes immediately fixing in on the pancakes. The waiter comes by to take all your orders and you can’t help but blush a little when Rafe orders pancakes and you have to follow with a “same for me.” Such a silly, meaningless thing, I mean everyone likes pancakes. But being the only one to have the same exact order as Rafe leaves you feeling embarrassed, for no good reason all the same. You all begin to scarf down your food as soon as it arrives, thankful to have something to soak up the alcohol in your stomachs, as you share stories and laugh about last night’s drunken antics. 
“So how is it that we’re all flatmates and yet I only have Topper’s contact. Come on, add ‘em in,” Rafe says, sliding his unlocked phone to the middle of the table.
“Wait I want snapchats too. Oooh! And instagram!” Olivia pipes, whipping out her phone as well.
“I expect no booty calls Cameron. This is strictly business,” Millie jokes, typing in her and Olivia’s numbers before passing his phone to you. 
“Am I allowed a booty call?” Topper smirks, extending his phone as well.
“I wouldn’t push your luck Thornton,” she smirks back and he pouts in response. You finish typing your name and number into Rafe’s phone and hand it back to him, skin briefly making contact once again. Even though you had known Rafe all your life, somehow you two never had a reason to exchange numbers, only following each other on Instagram which he never posted on anyways.
“Alright everyone, pull up your snapchat codes, I wanna make a group,” Olivia says and everyone obliges, arms crossing every which way as you all add each other. “What should we name our group chat? Ooo can we do a ship name of our schools - like Kilheath or Westare?” 
“I like Kilheath,” Topper chimes in.
“Yeah I bet you do you psychopath. Sounds like the name of a bad horror movie,” Rafe laughs.
“Oooo there’s five of us, we could be the Spice Girls,” Millie beams.
“No.” Topper immediately shuts her down. 
“What about ‘American Boys and Spice Girls.’ You know, like the Kanye West song,” you add.
“Ehh, we’re getting closer, but not quite there,” Rafe teases you and you playfully kick him under the table. “I’m hearing a lot of opinions and not a lot of contributions,” you cross your arms and raise your brows.
“Hey hey hey, I’m a critic, not a chef L/n,” he lifts his hands in surrender.
“Ooo I got it! We can call it the ‘Royal fam,’ like the royal family,” Olivia suggests, finally getting approval from the whole group. Breakfast is soon over and you all return to your rooms, eager to nap away the remainder of your hangovers. You lay in your bed and stare at the newly formed snapchat group on your phone. Royal Fam 🇬🇧🇺🇸 appears on top and you scroll down, looking at Rafe’s username and bitmoji on your screen. You laugh at the fact that even his bitmoji wears a backwards cap. It was weird, having him in your phone like this. You had known this boy your whole life, but you two had always operated in separate spheres. And here he was, in your Snapchat, a glimpse into the life of Rafe, of which you only ever got a birds eye view of back home. It almost felt like you were trespassing somewhere you didn’t belong, having access to him like this. You sigh and lock your phone. Rafe Cameron really isn’t all that bad.
The next few days fly by fast as you become acclimated to Westheath. You and the rest of the Kildare kids attend an orientation with Westheath’s exchange advisor, spending the whole time with your little trio: you, Rafe, and Topper. When you had first arrived abroad, you were deadset on forging your own path in London and steering clear of everyone else from OBX. But hanging out with Rafe and Topper made you all but forget. It was fun and easy hanging out with them, in fact, counterintuitively, they were helping you forget all about the Outer Banks, just as you had hoped to do. Your conversations centered around your interests, your new lives, on random jokes and made up bits. It was almost as if there was a mutual unspoken agreement between you, them also trying to escape and forget their lives in OBX.
Pretty soon classes began, and you were learning a new schedule and adapting to British schooling. Your evenings were spent singing and dancing in the kitchen as you, Liv, and Millie simultaneously cooked your dinners, getting pints at the pub around the corner with your Westheath friends, and playing card games at the kitchen table with Rafe and Topper, the smack talk between you three flowing strong. There’d be short moments where you’d find yourself alone with Rafe - he’d explain to you whatever Premier League team was playing that day, you’d show him how the coffee machine works, and the occasional passing comments of “so when are we finally starting Game of Thrones, Cameron?” “I’m ready whenever you are, L/n.”
It was a Wednesday night, and you were curled up in your fluffy gray blanket watching Gilmore Girls in bed. You found the show comforting and familiar, the small town of Stars Hallow reminding you of what you wished your life in the Outer Banks could be like. Instead it was more like the cold and pretentious atmosphere of Chilton and the older Gilmores’ Hartford life. Your phone buzzes, and you pick it up lazily to check, suddenly freezing at the notification on your screen.
Snapchat: Rafe Cameron
You had opened a few snapchats from the boy over the past few days, but they were always random ones he would send to the group chat. This one was just for you. You gulp and put your phone down, not wanting to open it too fast. A few minutes go by and you realize you haven’t paid an ounce of attention to the show on your screen, even though you’re staring right at it. Fuck it. You open your phone and tap on the unread snap.
When are we watching Game of Thrones L/n the snapchat says, a picture of his laptop on his bed and the HBO Max home page open, the series featured in the corner of the screen.
You snap back a picture of your blanket and the laptop playing Gilmore Girls in front of you: ready whenever you are Cameron.
Almost immediately you get a response back.
Rafe Cameron: wait are you home rn? His message is accompanied by a random picture of his room, a view you let your eyes linger on until the message expires. Another peak into Rafe Cameron’s world.
Y/n: Yep! You send a blurry selfie of you wrapped in your blanket.
Rafe Cameron: be over in 5
You leave that last message on open and your heart starts to race. Just breathe Y/n, breathe, you keep telling yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big deal if you don’t make it out to be. It’s just a show. Just a show. And besides, you guys are friends now, right? You sit up in your bed and grab your pillow, shifting over to sit horizontally on your mattress. That seems more casual to you, more ‘just a couple friends watching a show together at a comfortable distance’ and less ‘sitting right on top of each other Netflix and chill’. You gulp down some water to ease your dry throat when you hear a gentle knock.
“Come in!” you call out, and now Rafe Cameron is in your room, eyes absorbing all the details that are so you. The posters on one wall, film camera photos on another. The string lights which wrap around your room and give it a warm glow. The plants, the subtle scent of vanilla. The bag you always carried with you, hanging off the side of your chair. He almost felt like he was intruding, like he was getting an intimate glimpse of something that was for your eyes only. 
“Whats up,” he says, holding his laptop and closing the door behind him. 
“Ready to finally start the show,” you laugh, “it’s about damn time.”
“Hey, I’ve been ready, it’s you who’s been taking your sweet time.”
“Is that so?” you ask sarcastically and a smile forms on his face.
“What are you doing over there? Who sits like that on their bed?” he asks, now coming over and taking a seat on your mattress facing vertically, propping your other pillow behind his back. “Can’t even stretch out your legs or anything,” he continues, patting the spot on the bed next to him, signaling for you to come over.
“I don’t know, I think it’s comfy,” you lie as you crawl over to him, your first line of defense already shot down. 
“Weirdo,” he chuckles to which you nudge him in the side with your elbow. “If Topper’s wrong about this I’m gonna give him so much shit,” he says.
“Topper does have a lot of questionable opinions,” you laugh, “but I have a good feeling about this one.
One episode turned into two turned into three, you and Rafe instantly hooked. The nerves you had felt earlier at sitting so close next to this boy in your bed had all but dissipated, you quickly acclimating to the space he took up next to you. Even though by now all your previous misconceptions about Rafe had disappeared, replaced with the boy you had come to know over the past week, there was a small part of you that was still waiting to see if he’d try to pull something on you, like the Rafe you imagined back home surely would. Of course he didn’t, watching and discussing the show with you, making you feel as comfortable as if you two had been friends for years. You almost felt bad for having had doubted him in the first place.
When the third episode ended and you two got into a long post-episode discussion, you hardly noticed when the conversation began to digress. You both started to sink lower and lower down into your pillows, until you were both laying on your backs, staring at the ceiling and lost in exchanges of words and thoughts. The conversation was different this time, more candid and open, as if the shadow of the night was inviting you to divulge thoughts you wouldn’t have shared in the day. He spoke of his strained relationship with his father and you shared the silly drama that had caused a riff between you and your former friends back home. He showed you pictures of his dog and you showed him the video you had been working on all summer long in OBX, not having anyone to hang out with before you left for London. He talked about how he felt so disconnected from almost everyone on that island, and you nodded, understanding all too well. The conversation continued to ebb and flow, the occasional funny video or meme pulling you two into fits of laughter before seamlessly delving into another vulnerable train of thought. You both had your Spotify accounts open now, taking turns sharing your favorite songs. You put on a playlist you had made over the summer, full of songs that made you feel at peace. 
“This puts you at ease huh,” he says.
You turn your head to look at him, “how could you tell?”
“I don’t know. I guess just the way your whole body relaxed the second you pressed play,” he replies.
“Yeah,” you say turning your head back toward the ceiling. “I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel like these songs are speaking to my soul or something,” you whisper.
“Yeah I get that… I have those too,” he whispers back. Neither of you realize it’s already 5 am and neither of you notice as your eyes both get heavy and sleep washes over you, playlist in the background like a lullaby. And at some point during your deep sleep, Rafe’s arm has found itself unconsciously wrapped around you.
---
Part 4
a/n: lemme know what you think!(:
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horansqueen · 4 years
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You & Me : chapter 6
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: its long because i had a lot to write, oops! also i tried to put as many requests for this chapter as I got. i suggest you dont look at them before reading the chapter or itll spoil it majorly to you! here are the requests!
the first one is the main request. and the others are the requests i got when i asked for requests for this specific chapter! :)
(SPOILERS OF THE CHAPTER)
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Chapter 6 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
I pulled on my skirt when i got out of the car, feeling slightly uncomfortable and regretting wearing it. I was mostly a pants person and even just wearing jeans was annoying me sometimes. I knew all the girls present would look incredible, though, and I didn't want to feel ugly around them. I bent down to look at my face in the mirror of the car and sighed before turning back to my boyfriend who had a small smile creeping on his lips as he stared at me.
"How do I look?" I asked, raising my eyebrows with concern.
He didn't answer yet, he just just walked up to me, taking his hands out of his pockets and wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt his fingertips brush on my spine and my lips curled slightly.
"So good i'm actually thinking about ditching them and driving back home to fuck you into the mattress." he whispered with a smirk, looking down at me as I tilted my chin up. "One word from you and I jump back in the car."
I giggled a bit stupidly and was about to answer when we both heard the door open and I saw Heidi in the frame with Niall slightly behind. She waved at us and I was suddenly very happy of my choice of clothing. Dylan remained close to me and sent her a smile, a chin movement and a small wave before turning back to look into my eyes.
"Well, there goes our plan." he joked in a low tone, raising his eyebrows at me and making me laugh. "I guess we're gonna have to rain check on sexy time."
He chuckled and his arms slipped off my waist but he grabbed one of my hands with his and pulled me in the door's direction. I stopped him and he turned around with a questioning look before I tilted my head and frowned.
"When we get back home, perhaps?"
His facial expression changed and he moved back closer to me, squeezing my fingers in his.
"I'm sorry babe, I really have to sleep early today remember? I work tomorrow morning, I have to wake up at 4:30."
I bit my bottom lip and nodded but the truth was, I had completely forgotten. I let my eyes roam on his face and held my breath, trying not to sigh. I was not sure if it was a good or a bad thing that I was going to be away from Dylan soon. He was leaving to film a movie and the truth was, we hadn't been away from each other much in the past few months. In fact, we spent most of our time together.
"Are you guys coming?" we both heard Heidi's voice but my boyfriend didn't look away from me.
"I can see you're disappointed. I'm sorry babe, really."
"No, it's okay." I answered with a smile, tilting my head and shaking it slightly. "Don't be sorry, I know you work hard, I knew it was part of the game when we started dating."
His lips curled in a fond smile and he sent me a wink right before we heard Louis' melodic voice from afar. I had asked him to text me when he'd arrive so Dylan and I wouldn't be the first ones there. I didn't want us to interact only with Heidi and Niall or I knew it would have been awkward.
"Hey you two! You can eat each other's face later! Or like, stare deeply and passionately in each other's eyes or whatever! But right now we're all waiting for you!" he screamed, making me chuckle. "Liv! I bought your fave wine too, come on!"
I rolled my eyes but smiled and Dylan laughed slightly before pulling me with him. We walked inside and said hi to everyone but it's only when I felt Niall's arm around my waist that my smile faltered. I tried to tell myself I wouldn't let anything he does affect me but it was practically impossible. It was only his fingertips brushing on the small of my back and I wanted to run away.
"Hey Olivia, thanks so much for coming." he said in a low tone as I felt him press his cheek against mine.
I moved slightly and his stubble scratched my skin, making my heart skip a beat, but I tried not to show it.
"Someone needs to shave!" I joked with a laugh.
He was well-aware that I loved his stubble and would never want him to shave it, but that was part of the little banter we had together and he laughed, raising his eyebrows before bending down again close to me and rubbing his cheek against mine. I pulled away with a grown but started laughing again.
"Ouch!" I let out a bit louder before chuckling. "I hate when you do that!"
"Yea?" he asked, amused, before doing it again. "I thought you loved my stubble!"
He stared in my eyes with a smirk and he was closer than he should be but I didn't move away. By the way he was looking at me, I knew what he was thinking about and he was right : I've always enjoyed to feel his stubble on my inner thighs as he ate me out. I've always loved feeling it scrape my skin as I pressed my thighs around his face while he tongue fucked me. That thought made my pussy throb and I held my breath until someone talked.
"Here!" Louis let out, putting a glass of wine between us and taking me out of my thoughts. "Drink."
I thanked him and tried not to look at Niall again as I followed them to the kitchen. I frowned when I saw the bottle of wine on the counter, noticing the bottle stopper next to it.
"Louis! You said you bought my fave wine but it's literally my own bottle from home!" I exclaimed, turning to look at him and raising my eyebrows.
"Oh shit, did I say 'bought'? I meant 'brought'"
My face changed into an annoyed and unamused expression and he sent me a cute smile, making me roll my eyes as my lips curled slightly.
"It was started, too. You don't bring an already open bottle to hosts." I kept arguing. "You're a bad guest."
"Heyyy, I bought this one and two more, i'm an incredible guest!"
A bunch of us laughed and after chatting for a while, we ended up sitting at the main table. I sat next to Dylan and held my breath when I saw Niall walk closer. He was about to sit on the other side of me when Heidi talked.
"No no, babe! We're sitting here!"
His face changed but he just glanced at me and sent his girlfriend a smile before walking to the other side of the table and sitting right in front of me and next to her. I didn't know if I felt relieved or sad but he kept looking at me and I couldn't help but send him a smile. I noticed Heidi move closer to him and put my attention on her.
"Thank you so much for being here, all of you!" she said, holding her glass up. "We're always all so busy but it's nice to spend time altogether when we can!"
We all clinked our glasses together and I grimaced at Louis who stuck his tongue out at me. I was happy he was there, I felt like I wouldn't be able to stay sane if he was not.
"Oh my god, Olivia and Dylan, you guys are getting married right? I read that somewhere!"
Niall glanced at her and I noticed he rolled his eyes slightly without saying anything. I didn't know if it was because Heidi talked about it or because of the wedding specifically.
"Mmhm, yes." Dylan said, taking a sip of wine. "We are."
"In september I bet." Niall quickly let out. "The 9th I'm guessing."
Everyone remained quiet but he kept staring at me. I remembered us talking about getting married but we had never talked about a date. It did something to me that he knew, and he knew me so well. He knew me better than anyone in the world. He knew me better than myself.
"Well, yes." Dylan finally confessed, slightly uneasy. "I mean, don't tell anyone, we haven't announced it yet, we want to be sure before."
I saw Heidi's eyes open wider in shock when Dylan admitted that Niall had guessed right. I could only imagine what went on in her head and I suddenly felt bad for her. I knew she was not the jealous type but when she moved closer to Niall to ask for a kiss, I could swear she had glanced at me at the same time.
"Sorry mate." Niall said, taking a long sip of the wine after raising his eyebrows. "That's when her grandparents got married. Lucky guess."
The discussion drifted but I kept looking at Niall who sent me a fond smile. I held my breath when I felt one of his feet over mine and my lips parted slightly. I was not wearing socks but I felt the fabric of his brush against the top of my foot. My eyes fluttered at the contact. Just knowing he was touching me made me feel a certain way. It was not sexual, it was just my body suddenly coming alive in a way no one else could make me feel. It took me a few seconds but I finally pulled my foot away but gently, sending him an other small smile.
I helped Heidi clearing the table while the others went to the living room but I noticed Niall glancing at us, probably scared of what would happen. I was not going to make a scene though, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't either, at least I hoped so.
"I know there used to be something special between you and Niall." she let out when we were almost done, without looking at me. "But it's gone now."
I held my breath and licked my lips, not really sure what I should answer to that. It seemed like a fact to her but as she said it, it made me realize it was not true. There was still something special between Niall and I, and there probably always would be. That's why it would be so hard for us to only be friends. Could we even do it?
"Alright."
I turned around and left her alone in the kitchen only to walk to the bathroom. I leaned my hands on the counter after locking the door and closed my eyes, my head slightly down. I tried to breath in and out deeply but I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest and I couldn't seem to slow it down.
I had expected something meaner from Heidi. I knew the kind of person she was, and I knew what she was looking for but somehow, she had agreed to this dinner and I didn't know why. It was not new that she didn't like me and I would have thought she wanted me as far as possible from her boyfriend.
The problem was, I didn't want to be far from Niall and she probably felt it, just like I felt how insecure she was, which was not her type at all. She didn't use to see me like competition, what happened that made her change her mind about me?
I also felt how Dylan tensed when Niall guessed the date of our wedding. It was not so much that he knew that, no, it was more about the whole history Niall and I had together that no one could even begin to understand. He knew it, but the fact that he was now witnessing it made it seem more real. He was not jealous but it would be normal if he felt uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him.
I breathed in deeply, staring at my reflection in the mirror and trying to make something of this mess in my head but nothing seemed to work. Everyone's feelings were at stake and we were all a bit stressed. I also knew that with a few too many drinks, it could become very ugly.
I shook my head slightly and left the bathroom to join the others, hearing them laugh from afar. I sat on the couch next to Dylan and smiled at Louis and Eleanor, sitting together on the floor, almost cuddling. Julie and Liam were practically doing the same on the other couch and I felt Dylan's hand reach for mine and grab my fingers. Everyone was getting a bit tipsy and they were all recalling memories from tour and after. I tried to keep quiet but for some reasons, a lot of anecdotes included me.
"Oh remember that time we all went skiing and Olivia wouldn't stop falling!" Louis pointed out with a chuckle. "Niall had to literally hold her hands and guide her. It was pathetic, she was getting bypassed by a bunch of five year old’s!"
"Louis, I hate you." I just groaned low.
"Or when we ended up playing hide and seek in a hotel." he added, ignoring my comment. "Everyone was found except for these two fuckers! Apparently, they were hiding together in a fucking janitor closet! We never found out what went on during those two hours!"
I grabbed a cushion and threw it at Louis but it only made him laugh. I remembered that time. I remembered my body pressed against Niall's for hours as we chatted together in whispers. I remember feeling his lips in my hair and his hand on my thigh to stop me from moving whenever we heard a noise. Nothing had happened, but it was still a good memory. One that brought a rush to my brain and made me smile.
I noticed Heidi from the corner of my eyes, standing next to the couch and listening to Louis' stories. She looked a bit stressed and I bit my bottom lip in hope that Louis would just stop it. Her face twisted into a smile and she just sat directly on Niall's lap, making me squirm a bit on my seat. He seemed surprised and I knew he was not a fan of public display of affection but he just glanced around the room a few times without saying anything. She bent down and when their lips met, I had to close my eyes and look away. I felt Dylan squeeze my fingers with his and turned my head to him, focusing my attention on him. He smiled at me and I was not sure which emotions I could see in his face. Sadness, perhaps?
"So Dylan, the car you're driving in that show? Does it work?"
I tried to push the thought of Heidi sitting on my ex boyfriend away and smiled at Louis as I noticed Dylan's lips curl too.
"Don't start him!" I quickly said, opening my eyes wide. "He literally asked to keep that jeep! It's in his garage!"
"It's old and a bit dangerous to drive but I still do from time to time. I even let Liv drive it once or twice."
"Fucking amazing car, can't deny." I admitted with a laugh.
"We also saw your latest movie." Eleanor added. "Loved it."
"It was honestly very good." Julie agreed, leaning on her boyfriend and nodding. "Although I believe a beard doesn't really suit you."
Dylan chuckled, bringing his hand to his nape in an embarrassed way. He was not the type to be shy, but being praised like that always made him a bit uncomfortable. I personally thought it was extremely endearing but I didn't mention it, at least not this time. I tried not to react when I noticed Niall get up and leave from the corner of my eyes but I couldn't seem to follow the conversation anymore. Dylan was charismatic and everyone was always listening to him when he talked. He had this way to charm people that I didn't have and clearly never would. I was not jealous, I was fascinated.
I would guess on 10 minutes. That was probably the time it took me to get up and leave the room too. It seemed longer but I knew it was probably just in my head. I walked slowly in the hall, my heart beating fast, and followed the sound of guitar coming from afar, ending up in front of a closed door. I bit my bottom lip but it only took me a second to press my ear against it to hear better.
"I try and try to forget you, but." He stopped and I didn't hear anything until he started playing again. "Try and try to erase you, but you won't disappear."
Without thinking, I pressed my palm on the door but was surprised when I realized it was not completely closed. I ended up tripping inside and letting out a curse word as I almost fell. I knew he was staring at me but when I looked up in his eyes, I noticed a small and amused smile playing on his lips.
"Sorry." I let out after finding my balance again, glancing down and pressing my lips together.
"You were totally eavesdropping." he pointed out, his lips curling.
"I was... totally eavesdropping."
He chuckled and made a quick head movement, telling me to get closer. I hesitated a few seconds but walked to him slowly as he looked up. He was sitting on his bed and it was a bit weird to be in the room, alone with him, while both our significant others were in the living room. We used to be like that though, right? We slept in the same bed even when we were taken a few years ago, when our friendship was at its peak. Why did it feel so wrong now?
He patted the bed next to him and I licked my lips, holding my breath before shrugging a shoulder.
"Uhm, does Heidi live here?"
He frowned but didn't lose his smile.
"No, why?"
I didn't answer his question but simply nodded and after a few seconds, I sat next to him, trying not to touch him. I didn't want to sit in a bed that was hers, too, it would have been too weird to me, but knowing it was his bed made me feel better about it, even if I knew she slept there too sometimes.
Niall ran his fingers on the strings and my eyes dropped to his hand. He used to do that all the time. Just join me on the couch and start playing randomly. I didn't know if he noticed but I always ended up just turning the volume down to listen to him without being too obvious about it. Sometimes, he barely noticed me at all and it was alright. I always thought it made him even more handsome than he already was. When I looked up, I noticed he was looking at me and I smiled, feeling my heart jump slightly in my chest. After all this time, he still had this effect on me and I had no idea how it was possible.
"So, what were you playing?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Wanna play it for me?"
He chuckled a bit, obviously uncomfortable, and scratched the back of his head, glancing away before looking down at his fingers.
"New song, it's not finished, can't play it."
I felt something twist in my chest at the thought and I swallowed jealousy inside me. He was with Heidi and she already got a whole album written for her. It was a bit hurtful to think she was going to get a second one.
"You must really love her." I said low to make sure my voice wouldn't break.
"What do you mean?"
I looked up at him and let my eyes roam on his face. I wanted to stop thinking about him all the time and feel nervous around him but even more than that, I wanted to stop all the feelings exploding inside me every time he was near. We were done. He had a girlfriend and I was getting married, there was no point in dwelling on the past, right? I brought my hand up but hesitated and finally pressed my palm gently on his cheek. I wanted to ask him if he really loved me. I wanted to know if being with me for almost a year even had an impact in his life, I wanted to know if it mattered, If i mattered. Or at least, if I used to matter.
"You kissed me the other night."
I felt his hand over mine, on his face, but took it back slowly as my lips parted. How could he know that? He was asleep, right?
"N-No, I mean..."
"I thought you never lied."
I closed my mouth and breathed in before licking my lips, still staring at him. i had to assume my actions and I swallowed hard.
"I did, I kissed you. I thought you were sleeping." I admitted in a low tone. "I'm sorry, Niall, I shouldn't have."
He chuckled a bit awkwardly and shook his head, putting his guitar away and passing his hand in his hair. "Hey, I kept reminding you of when we fucked and I think I remember caressing your leg so, I can't blame you for a small peck on the lips."
"You were drunk, I was not." I pointed out.
"Not an excuse." he quickly replied. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"You didn't."
We stared at each other for so long and all I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my rib cage and threatening to escape. I felt myself tear up but swallowed the lump in my throat and I could swear I saw him glance at my lips.
"You said you missed me too."
"I'm surprised you understood since I said it in french." I chuckled slightly, smiling at him.
"I remember a few things, I just can't pronounce them."
This time, I chuckled more until I realized how close we were from each other. Did he move closer or was I the one who did? Why did I feel so attracted to him, like my heart, body, soul and mind were connected to his?
"I'm gonna kiss you, okay?"
His voice was soft and low but I didn't answer and he moved even closer, so slowly that it seemed to take an hour. I felt his breath on my mouth and held mine before bringing both my hands on his face to stop him gently. He stopped and his eyes opened as my thumbs brushed on his cheeks. I moved my head lightly, feeling my parted lips brush up and down against his, so slowly it was like torture to me.
"Olivia..."
I shook my head and pulled away, turning on my seat and closing my eyes. It was so close and I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized we had almost kissed but the worst was, I really wanted it. I wanted it so fucking bad and I was getting mad at myself. I was also mad at him for doing this to me and I swallowed hard again.
"I can't Niall, and you can't either."
He didn't insist and I finally just got up as he did the same. I was about to get out of his room when I came face to face with Heidi. I tried to play it cool but her eyes got bigger as they moved from me to Niall and then back to me.
"What the fuck?"
I didn't know what to say and just walked past her to get back in the living room. I grabbed my glass and swallowed all of it as Heidi stormed back to the room. Everyone stopped talking and looked at her but she was staring at me, ready to jump at me.
"What the hell were you doing with my boyfriend in my room?"
I wanted to mention it was not her room but I thought it would only make things worse and I just sighed and raise my eyebrows.
"We were just talking."
"Just talking?" she repeated with a rude chuckle. "Oh yea I know how 'talking' goes alright!" she added, doing the quotation marks with her fingers.
I felt Dylan getting up behind me and he placed his hand softly on my lower back.
"Hey, relax." he let out, bringing his other hand in front of me. "They're friends, they've always been friends, you should know that by now."
"Are you a fucking idiot?" Heidi added louder, frowning at him.
I turned to Dylan's who's face suddenly changed into an annoyed one. It was a side of him I hadn't seen before and it was crazy to think Heidi, out of all people, could bring it out.
"It's not the first time you ask me that."
Niall suddenly placed himself between his girlfriend and us but facing her. He put his hands on her shoulders and she closed her eyes.
"Babe, please, relax okay? Come on, how many drinks did you have?"
"I'm fine!" she let out slightly lower than the tone she had used on us.
"Just come with me okay?"
It took a few seconds but they disappeared in the hall and I licked my lips before turning to my boyfriend. Louis was standing up next to me too and when he placed his hand on my shoulder, I turned my head and met his eyes.
"Are you okay, love?"
His voice was sweet and gentle and I sent him a small smile before nodding lightly. Did it show that I was extremely jealous knowing that she was going to sleep in his room, next to him? I shook my head, trying to push away the thought and also my feelings. It was ridiculous, of course she was going to sleep in his bed tonight, where else?
"Okay, well, I think it's time to go now." Julie proposed as Liam stood behind her.
We all said goodbye and hugged as Niall walked back in.
"Sorry guys, so sorry it has to end up like this."
I felt bad for him, knowing that he likes things calm and fun but at the same time, I felt guilty. I could try and blame Heidi all I wanted for the drama, it was partially my fault and Niall's if it ended up like this. I also couldn't stop thinking that if we had kissed, she would have caught us.
"Don't worry, it's all cool." my boyfriend said, extending his hand to my ex boyfriend. The sight was a bit weird but I didn't mention it. "Thanks for inviting us, we're gonna have to return the favor soon."
"Of course, my pleasure, thanks for coming." Niall replied, shaking his hand and sending him a smile.
I glanced a few times as I walked to Dylan's car just to look at Niall standing in the door frame, and I sighed before opening the door and getting in. We drove off and I leaned my head against the window with my eyes closed. I still couldn't make sense of this mess and even if I wasn't drunk, I knew the alcohol and tiredness would stop me from unraveling it all. We parked in front of my house and I felt a pain in my chest when I remembered that Dylan wouldn't stay. I turned to him and tilted my head.
"You really can't stay?" I asked in a soft tone, making him smile sadly at me.
"No, I'm sorry. Tomorrow?"
I nodded slowly and licked my lips.
"What did you mean when you said it wasn't the first time she asked you if you were stupid?"
He shook his head and chuckled, looking down.
"Let's just say Heidi has tried to date me a few years back. Or at least to sleep with me."
The shock was so big I felt my lips part. I probably looked like a fish out of water and it made him chuckle. He brought his hand on my chin and gently moved it up to close my mouth.
"You... you never told me."
"Just like you never told me how intense it was between you and Niall." he pointed out, raising his eyebrows. "I mean, maybe you did but I didn't think it was that bad, I don't know."
He paused and I held my breath as he looked down at his fingers. He grabbed my hand and looked up in my eyes and I suddenly felt so guilty I was close to throw up. I loved this man, I really did. Could he tell that I had almost kissed my ex boyfriend not even half an hour before?
"You know what sexual tension is, right?"
I frowned, scared of his words, but still nodded. I didn't want him to tell me there was sexual tension between Niall and I. I didn't want to know what we looked like from the outside. I didn't want to have this kind of conversation about my ex boyfriend, if only because I was not even sure of how I felt or what I wanted. Still, I waited as my boyfriend sighed and intertwined his fingers with mine.
"Between you and Niall, there's romantic tension. It's dripping everywhere. It's... scary, Olivia. It really is." he explained, surprising me. "So yea, Heidi's little tantrum was annoying, but I can see where she's coming from. She felt it, too. We all do."
My eyes roamed on his face as my whole body seemed to throb. His words made me anxious and at the same time, I didn't want him to keep all of this inside. I wanted to tell him that it meant nothing to me, that all he could feel was the dusts of an old love, the vestige of the story of two lovers who didn't work out... but I didn't know if it was the truth. I didn't know anything anymore.
I bent closer and pressed my lips against his. He let me and I deepened the kiss, letting my hand slide on his chest gently.
"I love you. Please, stay tonight." I begged him in a low tone.
"You hate when I leave in the morning." he whispered, his lips still against mine.
"I can make an exception."
It took him a few seconds to answer. I felt his fingers playing with mine and his lips brush against mine gently. I wanted him to agree, I needed him to agree.
"Okay."
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