#im still taking tomorrow off from work even though the thesis is postponed again

[daddy-socrates]

okay so, in a disappointing and frustrating turn of events, my thesis defense is once again postponed. i got an email like an hour and some ago where the department head said one of my committee members has enough comments and suggested revisions that it would make sense for me to work through them before going to defend it.

which! i get it, they want to make sure i'm at my best before i give the biggest presentation on the biggest project of my whole actual almost-career so far.

but it does feel like "you are bad at philosophy and also you suck. personally"

i know it isn't, and i've already gone through the whole process of mourning or whatever. but im especially bummed because like, 1. i now view my MA thesis the way i view my BA thesis ("technically got the credit" level work). and that sucks. it sucks!!!!!!!! until now i felt almost confident in it!!!!! :(

and 2. im still good to walk at graduation next weekend which is cool, but UNFORTUNATELY i was hoping that i would feel i'd EARNED it by having PRESENTED my thesis. it was always the plan that i would do the final revisions and get the full transcript and actual degree in august, but now graduation feels hollow and fucking fake since i can't defend until late june.

this sucks

#blah blah blah #thesisposting #graduation ceremonies are so important to me #and i planned my tattoo around it as a grad present to myself for having *done the thesis* #i dont want to cancel or reschedule the tattoo again #god im so upset #i know in the grand scheme of things it isn't the worst in the world like i still am getting a lot of amazing stuff done #and i know the committee wants to see me stand tall and strong and proud of my work #but i do feel like a deflated balloon with broken limbs #im still taking tomorrow off from work even though the thesis is postponed again #sad :((((((((((((