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#im really so distraught dat ppl care more abt bein holier than thou than actually bein understanding toward survivors of awful awful things
gurorori
ยท
1 year
Text
im really sad thinkin abt some of my friends
#its really heartbreakin to me realisin most likely thejr support for me is entirely conditional on how weird i am
#for things i find comfort in
#i spent years forcin myself into takin a side
#n takin the 'morally correct' stance
#n well im tired of it. in fact i discovered dat bein true to things my fucked up psyche wants me to indulge in
#gives me comfort. makes me feel better. helps me process my trauma in a way dats not invasive to me personally& dat i have full control of
#im really so distraught dat ppl care more abt bein holier than thou than actually bein understanding toward survivors of awful awful things
#like i dont care abt the proship discourse
#i necer could n i never will
#but unless i put out a statement ill 100% get harassed
#n its happened before
#both sides can get pretty damn insane & exhaustin
#i feel so alone n alienated in my experiences
#ive always loved the macabre n dark content i find immense solace in it
#findin out a way to combat our intrusive thoughts & trauma in general thru controlled environments in which we can reassess them
#has actually been great!! its helped me actually progrwss with gettin less triggered by keywords dat i Need to get used to in order for us
#to have a smootj recovery
#i think at least
#i know my limits by now though n i cant stomach everythin under the sun! im picky n i mostly indulge in things dat r very specific to
#our traumas
#n i feel SICK havin to cry my heart out n explain myself to sm1 jus so i a literal victim don get called a freak
#im sorru this id obviously a very heavy ventttt.. i have nowhere else 2 go fr. lol.
#i feel like ppl hate me jus for existin
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