#im never gonna be this fuckjng funny

[poppxjos]

does anyone know what im referencing

#im never gonna be this fuckjng funny #the locked tomb #tlt #nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #kiriona gaia #harrowhark nonagesimus #addy tag #ns/fw content

[penisliker-moved]

CHIHUAHUAS R SO IMPORTANT OK!!!!! THEEEE BEST DOGS IMO....

#im biased bc i had s chihuahua mutt. but like genuinely #ppl who HATE chihuahuas and other small dogs #what the avtual fuck is wrong with you. get a life #'THEY LOOK LIKE RATS !!!' ok so do u ugly. at least th chihuahua doesnt ALSO have a shitty personality #whatever #im so passionate sbt chihuahuas i love them sm they deserve th world #and.like. its fine to not like them its fine to prefer other dog breeds #but the fucking Hatred you guys have for a little fucking animal. whats wrong with you. GET A LIFE!!! #like th favt that bringing uo chihuahuas. 80% of th time somebody will be like haha yeah ^-^ I wanna run a chihuahua over i wanna strangle #one. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!! THERES NO FUCKJNG WORLD IN WHICH THATS FUCKING NORMAL. #PPL WILL JUST FUCKING SAY IT THO AJD THEN SMUGLY LOOK ST YOU LIKE. WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! #i have problems with social cues fuckjng believe me but if somebody mentions their beloved childhood dog im not gonna tell them #abt my weird fantasy of brutally murdering that entire dog breed. thats fucking freak behavior #Cnnyou tell this hss happened 2 me. multiple times #like maybe im judt oversensitive bc my dad hurt my dog a lot. But i judt dont see how its funny. Like at all #even if i didnt have like. a history of trauma surrounding chihuahuas specifically being abused. Its still fucking weird. #ive never had a golden retriever but if somebody talked ovsessively abt wanting to kill one thats Also fucking gross and disgusting #and everybody would agree. why sre chihuahuas the fucking exception. whatever #animal abuse #animal desth #a2t #sry.

[sugar-omi]

what are your general thoughts on step 3 baxter bc i was replaying OL1 and i trying hard not to cackle at the fact baxter is 19 years old in like 2016. bc all i can hear is halsey, p!atd, arctic monkeys when i look at him; it's giving tumblr, hot topic, that specific period of alt fashion. like he looks like a k-pop idol, but has a weirdly deep voice and overly formal way of speaking. like that is a rich sheltered gayboy emo nerd, not a suave daddy dom. his ass is grass and mc is gonna mow it. i'm saying i find his whole aesthetic ridiculous even tho i do have a soft spot for his fear of emotional vulnerability.

LMAOOO NO I READ THE HALSEY, P!ATD, N ARCTIC MONKEYS AND YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED MY MUSIC TASTE IN 2016-18 PLS JUST ADD MCR AND I AM IN RUINS.....

OMG STOP "HIS ASS IS GRASS AND MC IS GONNA MOW IT" PLS I LOVE YOU YOUR /WORDS/ IM ACTUALLY CRYING

honestly the only reason i don't clown him is bc I think him being older is 🥵🫣 but yeah I had to laugh when they called me Pepe le pew and Victorian emo man

I was literally getting ready to go out the one day after playing the dlc, and was trying not to fuck up my eyeliner from laughing bc pepe le pew is abnormally funny n idek what or who that is

HONESTLY I WAS SO GRATEFUL WHEN HE CHANGED CLOTHES

I COULD GET BEHIND THE SHIRT BUT THOSE PANTS.....

take em off

OH NO WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS UNDERWEAR LOOKED LIKE.... ik in step 4 he had fall leaves on his butt but what abt step 3.... im afraid 😟

okay I totally almost forgot your question, thank god I read things like 5 times before I'm sure I'm not missing smth but general thoughts....

well first thoughts was "who tf is this flirting w my man🤨"

now it's "who let this vampire out the house" bc baxter is so pale... pls I feel like if I put a firefly on him he'd burn like?!)!&*!^!??

final thought: "are you still looking to be sandwiched" bc poly cove/baxter/mc sounds PERFECT for all my issues (will never recover from the dialogue being different if you have cove at fond or crush when you start dating baxter.....)

also I'd like to eat him, did I say that alrdy? well I'd like to shrink him n nibble on him

OH MY GOD THATS OFF TRACK OK STEP 3 BAXTER THO. ID LIKE TO GRAB HIS FACE N YELL AT HIM

knowing he's going to break my heart...... pls... 5 moments wasn't enough imma need reimbursement for this heartache

I wanna sneak into his condo and lay in bed w him and make him laugh until he falls asleep n then I wanna wake him up w breakfast and then I wanna go on a lil stargazing date n walk along the edge of the water, the water only touching his feet when the wave goes up shore

n I wanna find all his lil freckles and moles n count them n be all close n tell him he's pretty like the moon and I wanna put on some song idk the lyrics to bc it's some Spanish love song or smth and make him dance w me even tho the most I can do is spin I a circle and circle literally one hip

and I wanna take him on a long drive w his dumb metal music blasting n make him yell it out w me and I wanna feed him his dumb fries w pie or whatever it was and I wanna make him lay in the grass w me and I wanna go build a dumb sandcastle and get him a silly lil toy that's prbly meant for kids n giggle abt it for a stupid amount of time and when we get home laugh abt it some more and i wanna play my dumb instrument and sing him a dumb song n AKAJHAGA I JUST WANT A FUCKJNG COMING OF AGE MOVIE W HIM I AM JAGADFALAH LOSING MY SHIT

okay.

I'm normal 🧍 ... I like this man a Regular amount

#olba #baxter ward

[definitelynotshouting]

helloooo friend :D !! tis i, bug anon

saw you weren't doing great from previous asks, hope whtever is happening gets better :(

my college searching thing is going a bit (?) better BUT i have major concerns about being discriminated about at the university my parents want me to go to which sucks :/

in other news, i accidentally told a customer "happy valentines gay! :)" and she was like "???? thanks ?" I WAS MORTIFIED DUDE

also! if you don't mind, could you tell me a bit abt your religion/who you worship? the only reason i would ask is bc i saw your prayer thing for jellie and had never heard of that god/goddess before (i believe she's from Egyptian mythology? idk) anyway if you dont feel like sharing, no worries :D

-🐛

HEY BUG ANON!!! :D thank u for the well-wishes, i really appreciate them a ton!! I hope the college searching goes better, it sounds real rough on your end :((( also AKSNAKDNKS HAPPY VALENTINES GAY....... THATS SO FUCKJNG FUNNY HELP MEEEE if someone said that to me while out and about i would be ecstatic truly KSNDWKNDKSNSJSNS

Sure, i can try and give a quick crash course in kemeticism if you're curious!! (As a general disclaimer to any OTHER kemetics who might see this, im gonna attempt to keep this very layman-friendly, so if i skip nuances in favour of simplifying stuff thats why. I'll leave some resources at the end of this post!)

Uhhh okay so kemetic paganism is a neopagan religion based off of ancient egyptian religious practices. There are a lot of different ways folks practice kemeticism-- such as reconstructionism (or recon; aka strict adherence to the rituals of antiquity), revivalism (adapting ancient rituals and practices into the modern era), and eclecticism (for the sake of simplicity, we'll say this is essentially taking several different practices from many other religions and combining them all into one personal practice). I fall somewhere between revivalism and eclecticism, mostly by virtue of also working with Hermes and Loki, though my practice is primarily kemetic in nature.

In short, i worship the ancient egyptian gods-- my patron, or a god whom i am particularly close with and mainly dedicated to, is the cat goddess Bast (also known as Bastet, although thats actually a mistranslation of her name). Bast is known by many epithets, but one translation of her name is "Lady of the Ointments"; its written with the hieroglyphs for a bas-jar (aka a perfume/ointment jar) and a loaf of bread (the "t" sound). She's a solar goddess associated with protection, is an Iryt Ra (Eye of Ra; Goddesses who protect and nurture the sun god Ra), and like many (and i do mean many) other kemetic gods, also holds ties to fertility. In the past she was depicted as a lioness, then later became associated with the domestic housecat, where she picked up additional ties to motherhood; she also began picking up attributes from close association with Het-hert (Hathor), which resulted in further associations with music, dancing, and the arts. She's often depicted holding an aegis (a collar-like necklace with a deity's head on it) and a sistrum (a musical rattle).

She's a very fierce but loving goddess whom i have been worshipping for the last 11 years :] i also work with other kemetic deities-- of my "personal quintet," as i like to joke, i work with Djehuty (Thoth), Sekhmet, and occasionally Sutekh (Set/Seth) and Heru-wer (Horus the Elder). And, ofc, from outside the kemetic pantheon i work with Hermes and Loki, who happens to be my other patron!!

Im very glad that my formal petition to Bast for Jellie has brought those who have seen it some much-needed comfort, and its nice that its also made some people curious about kemeticism!! If youve got any specific questions, feel free to drop me a line off anon or in dms! :] im always happy to chat!!

Some further reading if you're interested:

Per-Bast (a website dedicated to Bast that holds very good information and resources)

Kemetic Starter Guide

Kemetic FAQ

#shouting speaks #asks #i want to avoid posting TOO much about kemeticism outside of relation to my fics and art if only bc this is meant to be a fandom blog #but i dont mind answering general questions like this!!! #very flattered u got curious!!! :D its been a while since i got to hand out resources fksbdksndj #im not active on kemetic tumblr like i used to be so i usually only hand stuff like that out in private convos these days #long post #txt

[smallestdogswilldie]

i live getting drunk with my bf because it makes UNACCEPTABLE uncomfortable conversations so easy and fun literally ok so its bad but i was with my ex for almost 3 years and the last half i was. NOT in love with him because he told me he cheated on me(the SECOND time)but he had made it explicitly clear that he was gonna kill himself if i left so basicaully. my (now)bf would see me with him and be like “hes not treating her right” and he was like “you never talked about him you looked like you hated talking about him” and i burst out laughing and went “I DID” and he keeps goin on about ohh he wished he could fuck mee but i had a bf and LOLLLLL my ex was a manipulative cheater piece of shit incel masquerading as an awkward harmless geek lol . im dating an ex-chad now hes so humble about everythjng.im not fuckjng joking i wish there were better words but hea so hot and cool and funny. not a himbo.. bi ex-chad

#yeti #i hate these words i hate reading them with my eyes

[gothiero]

what're ur favorite mcr songs and uhh why

ohoohoho yum ok this'll take awhile and theyre not gonna be in order but okokok

cubicles- the. the fucking guitars at the beginning are what made me fucking fall in love w this song but also just the imagery it puts in my head is so nice. like all i see when i hear that song is like mossy green and smoke and. okay so basically the picture gerard posted on insta yesterday that's basically what i see. it makes no sense bc it doesn't sound like that picture but. i love it. cubicles is a hard #1 for me i would die to hear that song live.

early sunsets- good lord. i fuckjng. the emotion in gerard's vocals fucking rip me to shreds every time i hear this song. i. and the way all the instruments fade out one by one in like the last 2 minutes of the song to have it end off with "but does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed". fucking. i. i will never not get emotional listening to early sunsets.

give 'em hell, kid- ADRENALINE. THE. THE ENERGY. THE POWER. THE FLAVOUR.. and the INTRO!!! w the guitars that go WEEOOQEOEOWOEOWOOEOWOE LIKE. AND THE B A S S L I N E. AND . GERARD. I. "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUUUUUL" WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE ABT THAT FUCKING SONGF UHHHH im sorry im emotional

DESTROYA- "king rat on the streets in another life, they laugh, we don't think it's funny". that's it. i just. i just like how they say that part. and also the pretty outro w the harmonics on guitar and. the drums. the power that song has. it makes me want to shave my head and scream into a crowd of people just for the fun of it. also trans rights

interlude- i dont know if this is avtually one of my favorites but id just like to bring some attention to it.., fucking.. gerard's voice is fucking hyponotic. i wish there was like a whole ass like 3-4 minute song of something that sounded like interlude. i would fall asleep 2 it like every night for sure. and like it's so thrilling bc like tyftv comes righr after it. its like the calm before the storm and i think thats really beautiful. like its all "angellLlaLlsss" and then tyftv is like "HUHEGRHRGGRRR" and i love. i love interlude.

house of wolves- OOHOHOHOH BOY. OH BOY. THE. THE STRUCTURE OF THIS SONG. THE LAYERS. THE HARMONIES. THE VOCALS. THE GUITARS. THE DRUMS. ALL OF IT. FUCKING FLAWLESS. and.. i. i love the lyrics so much. i've never been one to analyze lyrics so honestly i don't know the meanings to any of mcr's songs other than like skylines and turnstiles and helena and prison bc those are the ones everyone talks abt but. i just like how gerard writes lyrics in a way that like. u can perfectly picture what's going on. and like it ties into the music to better amplify the image i . i guess ? i'm not making sense but i just love LOVE love house of wolves. the bridge is my favorite part lmao

ok sorry fir the essays i got invested very quickly.,, these arent all of my favs but i didnt wanna type forever so i'll just mention and couple other of my favs here: prison, blood, F.T.W.W.W., black dragon fighting society, mastas of ravenkroft, boy division, our lady of sorrows, emily

#i could write a whole essay on emily but i will not bc my hand is going numb #thank u for the ask!! #i really enjoyed typing this lmaoo