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#im insane sorry for this literal essay. i have so many thoughts and feelings man.
mewcharm · 13 days
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finished part 6. what the fuck. spoilers ahead lol.
I can’t stop thinking about how jotaro’s last words were his daughter’s name. I’m actually ill over this.
Jolyne was his world.
In that moment where everything stood still, all he could see was a reflection of his own experience - knives, aimed directly towards his daughter in frozen time. Pucci read that part of his disc. He had to have.
Our stoic, multi part protagonist who’s infamous for keeping his cool, screams. We’ve seen Jotaro scared before, sure, but to this degree? He was mortified.
Jotaro didn’t ask for this. He endured insane amounts of trauma, repeatedly put himself in harms way, his life revolved around relinquishing evil stand users even after defeating dio. He dedicated himself to this cause. he wasn’t vulnerable for a reason. Jotaro didn’t want to show weakness, even to his family. But somehow, his traumatic memories of fighting dio were exploited.
After Jotaro was repeatedly told by anasui that he had one shot - a single attempt to take out pucci - or they’d all be goners… He chose to save his own daughter. He loved her so much but we never hear him say it. He gives her a stand, subconsciously carves Jolene’s name into his arm, saves her from Pucci’s bullets and has protected her since she was born - but we never hear him say he loves her. Just that he cares, and in his last moments - her name.
He chose her over saving the universe, because without her, there would be no universe worth living in for him. im sure he would do so each and every time if faced with the choice across every universe.
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That choice postponed Jolyne’s death by a few minutes - but that was enough time for her to act.
Jolyne had nothing left to lose. All her friends were wiped out instantaneously and her father was dead. Of course she was going to sacrifice herself to help Emporio escape. It was her fate.
Jotaro paid the ultimate price, and everyone else did as well, due to his decision. Anasui, Hermes, and potentially Emporio. None of them had any say in it. By definition, he acted selfishly - but proved to both jolyne and the audience that he truly loves his daughter.
Jotaro could’ve died in morioh, away from his family, and they wouldn’t have known why he was there or the cause of his death. I’d like to think that during Kira and Koichi’s fight - he thought about Jolyne, and found the strength to stand. He had something to fight for, even outside everyone in that town. That act alone was him attempting to save her, and to continue to live on, so he may protect her.
Dio, Kira - all the stand users who posed a threat to him and his family’s safety. He wanted her to live a normal life, away from all this - and he dedicated himself to eradicating this evil.
I can’t help but wonder if Jotaro, in his dying moments, heard jolyne talk about how she can always count on him to save her… or if he was already dead. Maybe she knew he was gone, but just wanted to say the quiet part out loud. Like pucci - she knew what he had experienced through the disc - but didn’t want to use it against him. She wanted to thank him… for everything.
Maybe in another universe, he gets to save both her and the world, one last time.
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cringe-central · 3 years
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Love Languages
The Lost Boys: Seperate
Giving vs. Recieving
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A/N: Im so sorry this took so long to complete. I just started a new job so things may take longer, but ill still be writing. The next fic will most likely be poly with you and the boys getting together. 
David
Giving: Gifts
David enjoys giving gifts that remind you of who you belong to. He's not good with emotions so giving momentos, to David, is a good way of showing his love.
David gives gifts to show you that even if he isn't around, he's thinking about you. He also uses gifts as an excuse to take care of you. He views himself as your protector and wants you to know that he can and will provide for you. 
If he sees you looking at something for just a little too long, he will totally pay for it, legally, with money. He definitely won’t steal it if that's what you're thinking. But whether it's gained via dubious means or not, it's yours. David is basically a criminally inclined sugar daddy. 
If you make an off comment about being hungry? You're getting food. You tell him he doesn't have to get something for you? That's too bad, it's not even a question to David, you're getting taken care of. 
David just wants to provide and protect, just let the boy take care of you the only way he knows how.
Receiving: Physical affection
David is very touch starved under all that angst, pride, and daddy issues. Although he wont admit it, he needs to be given affection, badly. 
Before he met you it never bothered him, he had the boys and he didn't need more than that. But when you came into his life, and you held his face in your hands? He realized how much he missed being held by another.
He's never thought highly of humanity, but your warmth pressed against him and feeling the steady rise and fall of your chest under his hand hits him in his cold, undead heart.
In public, PDA is kept at a minimum with David so he can keep up his rough and tough persona. He acts annoyed when you get clingy, but it's painfully obvious that he actually adores it. If you want to force him to hold your hand he'll complain about it, but he wouldn't dare move away from you.
In private however, all bets are off. Chairs aren't allowed, you're either on his lap or laying on top of him. Worry about his legs falling asleep? Don’t, he's already dead, they physically can't fall asleep. You aren't going anywhere sweetheart. If you're standing? He's wrapping his arms around your stomach.
If for some reason he moves his hands away while cuddling and you bring his hands back, He swears he can almost feels his heart start beating again. He finds you adorable when you're like this. It makes David smile when he sees your look of mock offense when he takes his arms away from you.
Cuddle this man. He may try to act all tough and intimidating, but he just wants to be held.
Dwayne
Giving: Acts of Service
Dwayne likes making your life easier, he's not a big talker but he knows that actions often speak louder than words.
He's a vampire, so the biggest stress factor the boys have is being found out and staked, but other than that he and the boys live a carefree life. He knows being a human is often very difficult. Picking up on your stressors and helping make your life easier is how he shows affection best. 
Often if you're really busy, Dwayne will pick up food for you and make you take a break before helping you finish what you were doing. If you feel unwell in the slightest he’ll be there in a second to take care of you. Dwayne is also very tall, and will always get things down from above without even needing to be asked, it's basically a reflex at this point. 
 It's not uncommon for Dwayne to finish those last edits of an essay you were writing. He'd do more than that but he knows you'd be upset with him if he did. If you worry about taking advantage of him, Dwayne assures you that isn't the case. Taking that weight off of your shoulders makes him feel not only wanted, but needed.
Dwayne needs to know he's taking care of you, he's never been one to show love through words but you never go a day without feeling it.
Receiving: Quality Time
Ever since you and Dwayne became a couple, you've been the first thought in his head every morning, wanting to get feedings done sooner so he could spend time with you.
Dwayne has a lot of free time on his hands and during the time he spends with you, every possible ounce of attention you could give him was given. He adored those long conversations where you went on and on about whatever your current hyperfixation was. Even if you felt as if you annoyed him by simply rambling about a topic, he found those moments intimate and special.
Museum and Bookstore dates were very common between the two of you. Debates and deep conversations were a favorite of his, you both respected each other and your opinions. 
For museums, he would watch you stare at the exhibits in wonder while he told you of what history he remembered in certain pieces. Though he wasn't too old by vampiric standards, you would ask him all sorts of questions about the eras he's lived in. He's very quiet, but it's on these dates where you can get him going.
Bookstore dates are quieter, there was one a little ways away from the hotel that stayed open later into the night. Once a week, you and Dwayne would try to get there as soon as possible and stay there until they kicked you out. You would buy (definitely not steal) books and walk back to the beach or, if it was particularly cold, back to the cave. You two would then read them and discuss the book until the next bookstore date.
Paul
Giving: Physical Touch 
Paul loves giving affection, he takes offense to any moment spent without his S/O in his arms. He knows his reputation, and keeping you close shows that you're not to be fucked with. Many girls may try to get his attention, but they will never be the ones on Paul's hip and you take that as a badge of pride.
Paul enjoys the summer, his cool body is perfect for giving a lot of cuddles during that time. The colder months are heavily disliked by both you and him because of you body needing to stay warm, but Paul gives the best hugs, to the point where you begin to crave his touch.
Paul's worst fear is you feeling ignored or unloved; if you two have been physically distant he will immediately rectify it as soon as he can. This boy will never let his S/O go un-snuggled. Every time you're upset you are swept into Paul’s lap with your head tucked under his chin.
When you're at the boardwalk, your hand is always in his or his arm is around your shoulders. If you two are sitting down then you'll be in his lap. The boys may tease him about it but he doesn't mind, he's proud to show you off. 
Paul is a himbo at the end of the day, he's not good with words and has said the wrong thing before, but through his actions you are shown how truly loved and valued you are to him.
Receiving: Words of Affirmation
Paul is a very literal person, he enjoys when you tell him what's on your mind, and he adores listening to you talk. Listening to you talk is the highlight of his night.
Even though Paul shows love through physicality, he needs to be told the words I love you. The first time you told him those three simple words he became pretty emotional. He couldn't remember the last time someone genuinely told him he was loved, and here you were confirming your mutual affections for each other. He's so soft for you man. 
You always tell him how much he is admired and adored as you hold his face in your hands, and Paul melts every single time. He finds a lot more pride in his clothing and hair after you rave about how amazing he looks.
He values what you say above everyone else's opinion, and if you like the new thing he did with his eyeliner you notice he does it significantly more. Paul is the definition of jokester, but when you tell him what he said made you laugh he takes it to heart. 
Paul loves being a vampire, but sometimes he needs you to say you aren't afraid of him. That despite what he is, you still feel safe around him. Even the toughest of people feel insecure sometimes and you're willing to do whatever he needs to feel okay again.
Marko
Giving: Physical affection
There's a reason him and Paul are best friends, sometimes a bro needs a hug. And though his motto was always ‘bros before hoes’ something was missing. There was a level of affection he longed to give, but never could. 
When he met you and he was finally able to give those romantic affections, he went overboard. Always holding you and touching you in some way, you weren't let out of his grasp for weeks. Any time you needed to leave the cave to go home, Marko would whine and beg you to stay with him for a little while longer. Any time he could convince you to stay the night, he would be ecstatic. 
Marko is very happy to know that someone loves him for him, and he is determined to show that in every single moment of your relationship. If you had a distant boyfriend before? Destroy those expectations, because you got the clingiest vampire in the lost boys. 
He loves to scent mark on you, a giant vampire thing, it's like a drug to this angel faced sweetheart. Having his scent melding with yours as you two roam the boardwalk drives the boy insane. Marko is very possessive, and he can't help but nuzzle into your neck or wrap his arms around your torso so that everyone knows you're taken. 
Much like his best friend, Marko is also a himbo. He needs you close to him and if you aren't he becomes whiny. The next time you see him, you won't be leaving his grasp any time soon.
Receiving: Gift giving
Marko is an artistic being and he appreciates gifts that have effort put into them. Things that are bought are nice, but if you spent hours making something? He doesn't care what it is, he will love it.
If you made him a bracelet, he'd wear it every day. If you paint, you'd notice pieces of art taped onto the wall, growing with every piece you make him. If you bake? What you make him is gone in a day. His favorite gifts however are the patches you make him, sewing them on and admiring the intricate detail put into each one. 
Everything you make him or give him is valued, keeping anything and everything tangible in a wooden box that Marko painted himself. He protects that box with his life, keeping it in the most protected place in the cave.
If you write him letters he stores them in the box and he reads them by the fire pits when he can't sleep, which helps him get some shuteye. He treasures every little thing you give him, but to Marko, you are the true gift. Each of those momentos being a simple reminder of the wonderful being who made them.
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rupertgayesarchive · 3 years
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surgery anon again and YEA I remember all my questions. the big ones were... who sent him back. i was like hm cas died b4 Chuck died. Chuck possibly sent him back to save himself? OH ALSO did death send cas back to save himself (herself? is billie dead. the death sent him back theory is sponsored by a line in chapter 25 where dean is thinking about sending sam a postcard and an old man is staring at him being like send ur brother a post card before it’s too late. racked my brain for who r old men in supernatural who could do time travel and would be not evil but not making things easy either. and my sister was like ‘oh well death’) ALSO i went in for a long while about what cas would do when he got his memories back. i remember being like the fic is INSANELY in character so we should draw our conclusions from what already exists in canon, like 7.17. so cas would probably start worrying immediately about if they ended up defeating Chuck and probably assume that Chuck sent him back. also he’d probably worry that he like.. took advantage of dean or something because he’s insane. and then I was like he’d probably want to know if Chuck, assumed to be the one who sent him back, was in like current timeline heaven. also at this point my sister began giving input as well she became my sounding board lmaooo. we were like well he wouldn’t be able to go to heaven probably so he’d need to ask an angel.
also I was very jntersted in this because cas having positive relationships with some of his siblings is... very nice to see and the most underutilized part of spn. so I was like he’d probably wanna call or summon an angel to talk. but also a ton of angels that he personally killed would be alive again and I think he’d feel really guilty/overwhelmed so he wouldn’t wanna trap any of them? so I was trying to list off all the angels that cas canonically was friends with or implied to be close to prior to Lazarus Rising. and my list was like... ok samandriel, hester, balthazar. a bunch of others who im forgetting right now. but then my sister was like wouldn’t naomi simply have lobotomized them. and I was like oh true!! well... balthazar faked his own death prior to season 6. and he and cas were canonically very good friends before balthazar went to earth. BUT, balthazar stated that cas rebelling was the final reason that he decided to fake his death. BUT ALSO... I feel like.. the timeline works out like 2008 cas pulls dean out of hell. 2009-10 he rebels against heaven. there’s like a few months period where Balthazar could have faked his death and then around a year to fully embrace hedonism. so I feel like... even before cas rebelled he would’ve been like shirking his duties or something in an Aziraphale good omens type beat. this also accounts for naomi not paying attention to him. SO LIKE... also this is just an elaborate explanation for why balthazar, who I love, should be in ur fic. but I think for these reasons it makes sense that future cas, with this knowledge, would summon balthazar for help? questions? idk, I just liked cas having an angel who was friendly with him and he trusted. i mean your fic has given cas so many friends and I love it I’d be fine if you didn’t introduce any new characters at all! i just thought it’d be interesting to see and also be a good way to introduce like you know.., broader angels i suppose. if the time travel shenanigans are sticking to the s1-2 timeline angels couldn’t be super heavily involved, unless cas butterfly effect-ed it (which is mad interesting) anyway I think cas would be panicked about the future and last and would wanna ask about the state of heaven, if Chuck was there in the current timeline. and I think it’d make the most sense and least disturbance that he summon balthazar. because they were friends and also I don’t think balthazar would like.. tell anybody.
im literally SO sorry this is so long and I’m like hm. maybe i should send a second ask with more thoughts. anyways i hope you’re having a good night im feeling better already :)
i’m loving the ask box essays, truly we’ve never been more free when we’re allowed unlimited characters in our messages to other tumblr accounts.
i guess i shouldn’t be surprised that people wonder how cas got sent back, like that was one of the first things i knew about this fic, the who did it part, but in my mind it didn’t really matter/isn’t as interesting as what happens BECAUSE he’s sent back (you will get an answer to the ‘who’ btw. eventually. there are some hints in my fic as well as what some people have commented and things that are in my heard from your mother au tag on here...)
when cas gets his memories back, there are several things happening at once, so he may need to put his 12 years of trauma on the backburner for a bit lol.
angels will appear to some extent as well. i think it’s interesting that despite some of the higher-ups making remarks that cas has a ‘crack in his chassis’ and had to keep getting mind wiped, quite a few other angels seemed to like and respect him, at least earlier on in the show. he had enough, idk, charisma? to lead angel armies. more than once, too! that, combined with the fact that other angels besides him need to get sent to naomi imply (even if spn didn’t really do much w it bc, you know,) that a decent amount of angels may be more into humanity and free will than we’d think. i’m sure we don’t see so many of them later on bc, you know, most of them are dead, but at this point in the show? who’s to say. cas spends enough time reading about class consciousness that he starts an angel union against lobotomies lmao. they can’t take ‘em all, right?
i also think cas needs to end my fic by having twenty hand made friendship bracelets worn on both wrists at all times and ppl constantly blowing up his phone bc he’s that guy!! :) 
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