#im gonna just say jt rn. i do not have the best grasp on masons characters kn the slighest and im sorry for it.

[b0mblover]

im so sorry lopt but also not

By: J

no tws. little bit of loptson fluff for the soul

it-

it all felt so weird.

he was still allowed to be himself,

but,

the sense of “himself” felt like it was changing.

sure, his comrades deaths made him feel something.

but.

that had been over half a year ago now.

since norikos death, lopt moved out.

well, as much as someone can without living there.

he had been living with mason for,, a while now.

he was allowed to be himself,

sure mason would get agitated sometimes,

but it never,

it never was unbearable.

for the both of them.

it was spring now,

lopt wondered if the odd feeling he had been… feeling, was seasonal depression going away.

“can a god even get seasonal depression”

most days he could ignore it but,

today was one of them that he couldnt.

he sat on the edge of the pull out couch, mason had to run some errands, leaving lopt alone with his mind, and ghosts.

some days hed hear the ghosts of the past that he had wronged.

sometimes begging, sometimes belittling him, sometimes just hearing wind blowing.

memories of the explosion flashed in his mind.

it had been half a year ago.

why did he care now?

could-

could gods even have trauma?

“well, as a shapeshifter, i am able to morph every part of my body that i see fit, i believe, meaning if that /were/ the case couldnt i just. take it away?”

he questioned aloud

(no no you cant lopt. because the writier is having “writers” block and wants you to suffer)

continuously, his mind replaying the boom of the explosion, 

the after shock he felt on the ground.

in reality, it was just mason shutting the door.

“hey, you didnt respond to any if my texts so i just got you bot-“

mason cut himself off, seeing the state lopt was in.

lopt continued staring at the ground,

his vision was crowded with static, and, the ghosts and voices were so loud they were drowning out his own thoughts.

he could barely feel when mason tapped at his knee to get his attention.

lopt looked up in the general direction he felt the movement coming from.

“uh, something.. wrong…?”

mason was unsure as to what was happening, he had never seen lopt so… broken.

lopt opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

a voice seemingly coming from behind him said how he had nothing worth saying.

nothing that would be worth anything to such a person as mason.

nothing worth saying that would ever amount to his partner.

he started to spiral.

questioning just /why/ mason was with him in the first place.

humans had used gods for their blood before, though, mason never did that,

humans had used gods for their power before, though mason never did that either.

was mason just with him, just to betray him in the end..?

did mason stay, just to make fun of him?

remind him of the fact he can never have a real relationship with a mortal due to their mortality and his immortality?

to-

he felt something cold on his face.

he looked up trying to see what the source was, only being greeted by the static in his vision that had never left.

“shh shh there there, youre gonna’ be okay”

mason.

mason was trying to help.

why?

wouldnt it be better to go ahead and stab lopt in the back?

to essentially kill him right then and there

to-

“hey. hey breathe, breathe, youre okay, here can you see? you know what im saying right now?”

lopts mind kept rushing, but

he tried to pull through,

realising that it was essentially pointless for him to attempt to talk, he slightly nodded his head in a ‘yes’ manner

“good, good, i take it that you cant see much huh? i mean, youre looking right past me-“

lopt internally laughed, before shaking his head yes again

“alllrighty then, ill sit with you til’ it clears up mkay?” 

lopt flashed a slight, but genuine smile what he thought was masons way.

mason burst out laughing, lopt was not looking masons way in the slightest, from masons view he just smiled at a wall

“i- you-“

mason choked out between tears

“youuuu, n-need to-“

lopt felt a bit better, even if mason was laughing at his expense, somewhere in himself he knew that it wasnt masons intention, he was better than that.

mason mostly had regained his composure (or what little he still had after that) and started again

“y’know itd be k-kinda helpful if you /actually/ looked my way-“ mason got through between laughs

lopt giggled to himself before shaking his head in a overly dramatic way ‘no’

“ahhh darn”

mason snapped his fingers

“welp, i tried” he said before shrugging. as if lopt could see it.

“hows the whole vision thing going”

lopt contemplated his response for a second, it had cleared up but, not to a great degree

lopt waved his hand in an iffy way

“ahh- barely then”

lopt rolled his eyes, in a playful way, basing it off of feelings, he knew he probably wasnt even facing mason,

“jeeze how long does this fucking taaaaaake”

mason groanded out before fallinn backwards into the pull out couch, making a little “oomf” sound as he

hit it. 

lopt held up his pointer finger,

“huh? you say somthin’?”

lopt sighed. attempting to speak again

(j gave up)

“h-hour” lopt managed to get out

his voice sounded much deeper and raspier than the pitch he prefered to keep it at, being all that he could manage.

“i-o-oh” mason stuttered out, being caught off guard by lopts voice. slightly blushing aswell-

mason took a deep breath before composing himself again and sitting up.

“well, if its gonna take that long, how bout’ i get started on dinner?”

“s-sure, s-sou-sounds, good” lopt was pushing himself to speak, he had heard (and felt) mason get up, being unsure as where to face.

“alright then, and, please dont push yourself alright? you uh, you need to take your time”

lopt smiled back.

again smiling at a wall.

#j writes badly #no beta we die like jirou #i actually originally wrote a specific part of this much differently but i kept getting paranoid abt jt so i changed it #i uh. i think this is my first time properly writing masons charater isnt it? #idk i dont really remember. #btw they 100% had salmon for dinner and after lopt could see again he ate mango pudding with a fork #(hiya shlopt. i question sometimes if theres something deeply wrong with you /lh j) #im gonna just say jt rn. i do not have the best grasp on masons characters kn the slighest and im sorry for it. #im a lopt defender btw fight me #im puttinf off SO much work *sweats* #okok ill hush read the gay fanfic damnit! (or dont. idc)