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dekatsu · 4 years

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I wanted to try something different: Todomomo. Tw: discussion of Touya’s death/suicide

“What do you plan to do?” Jirou asks, rushing up to her and falling into step. “You should not be here.”

Momo ignores her, for she knows why her friend is asking and she knows that no answer she could give would satisfy her.

“Momo,” Jirou says, taking hold of her arm and forcing her to a stop before she can enter the estate. “You cannot meet him right now.”

“Why?” Momo asks, turning on her friend and barely holding back her anger. It’s not her she wants to lash out on. “Because he hit his father? Because he behaved unbecoming as the youngest of the Lord’s sons. But do we not know the truth behind those whispers?” She shakes her friend's grip off and continues her walk.

Jirou, only stunned into silence for a moment, hurries to catch up with Momo’s fast gait again. “You know what they will say. That you encourage his behaviour. It will not reflect well on you.”

“You are my most beloved friend, Jirou,” Momo whispers, her voice carefully void of any emotions. “You know I would never care less for such things than I would, when my friends are troubled. So why should I leave my dearest friend alone right now. Do you think so little of me?”

“It’s not that,” Jirou rushes to say. “You value your circle more than anyone I know. But you are blinded by emotions. If you would just take a little time to think, you would understand that meeting him now will be held against your and his character for the longest time.”

Momo comes to a slow stop, takes Jirou’s hands and looks into her eyes. “I understand what you are saying. I do, really. But if I don’t stand by him now, when he needs me the most, what right do I have to come by later, when the situation has calmed and he has burdened himself with guilt he does not deserve?” She wills Jirou to understand that she has to be here.

And Jirou, bless her soul, sighs, and squeezes her hand before pulling Momo into a hug. “I will stand with you, then. Go on and talk to him.”

Filled with newfound courage from Jirou’s encouragement, Momo walks into the estate and asks to be led to the youngest Todoroki’s room. She hasn’t been here since she was 14 and never to Todoroki’s room itself.

The servant makes little fuss and brings her to his room without saying anything. But once they stand in front of his door, she whispers, “The young master is ill tempered. I would not advise you to stay long.” She bows and walks away, leaving Momo to knock on the door alone.

There is no welcome from inside the room and Momo hesitates to knock again for a few seconds before she finds herself opening the door and going in without consent.

He sits there, on the wide windowsill, looking out at the lands beyond the estate, not uttering a word even as she draws closer.

When she’s close enough to see the burned down remains of the little hut that once sat far out on the land, he says. “I wish to be alone.”

His face is pale, his hands bruised where he had hit his father and his eyes are grave with loss. Yet, his voice holds no emotion, a little hoarse perhaps, but his voice is barely a whisper between them. “I came to give my condolences,” she says, carefully.

“You know then, what happened.” He gets up slowly, puts both hands on the windowsill and hits the glass with his forehead.

She winces at the sound but holds her tongue from uttering her worry. Not now. Instead she says, "not all, I think. Folk likes to talk a lot and not all is truthful. You are my friend; I trust your words."

“He killed himself," he says, startling her at the sudden anguish in his voice. "Out in that hut. Poured oil over himself then everything else and burned until not a bone remained. A wake we held, a funeral arranged, to burry a patch of ashes not distinguishable from anything else.”

That part was true then, Momo thinks but doesn’t dare voice it loud. Todoroki has fallen silent again, eyes closed. It pains her to see him like this. Pains her to know he lost his oldest brother, even when she knows nothing of the oldest. “Im sorry,” she says instead.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he says and finally turns to look at her. His eyes are red-rimmed and heavy in his face. “Or did you come to pity him, too? Or worse: talk ill of him?”

“Your words are harsh,” she whispers, taking no step back even though he steps closer to her. She knows he hurts but she’s not here to get hurt by him. "I came to be with you, not to get insulted."

“But everyone says so, don’t they? Those who pity him for dying so young, for being born weak and dying weak belittle his life. And the others? They curse his name, talking about how he was no man, if he couldn’t shoulder the expectations laid on him by his father.” Todoroki spats the last word out like a curse and turns back to the window.

He pauses in his grief and anger, leaving her room to speak of her thoughts. "It won't be the first time they are mistaken. For aren’t the expectations to blame, for taking a life so young?” A harsh intake of breath follows her words and she shuts her mouth, worried she said too much.

“I hit him,” he continues, pressing his bruised knuckles against the window. “Right there at the wake. I stepped up to the empty coffin and heard him snort behind him, when they insulted his dead son. Anger just overcame me, freeing all I had held in over the years, so I turned around and hit him right in the face. Not just once.” Todoroki leans on the window again, breath leaving patterns against the glass as he gives a weak laugh. “And he was surprised. The most emotion he showed that day before ordering me out like a dog.”

“Todoroki-san,” Momo says, gathering all her courage to speak of why she came. She takes hold of her skirt, to silence her nerves and goes on. “I wish to offer you an extended stay at my mansion. I wish for you to stay a year, more if you are so inclined.”

He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move but stays silent instead. The quite in unnerving and leaves her room to doubt her offer. But she thought of it many times and she knows it’s the right thing to do.

So, when he finally moves, she takes a breath again, unconscious of the fact that she held it. But he doesn’t move closer to her and neither does he say anything. He sits on the windowsill again stays silent for a few moments.

Momo moves closer to him, until they are an arm's length apart. “You need to come away from here. Your mother has departed to her parents. I met Fuyumi shortly before she departed, and she told me that your brother left this house as well. I thin-”

"Your name will be dragged right along mine. The troublemaker of a son, rebelling at the wake of his brother at that. And the little miss who sided with him. They will see it as a personal slight against my father."

"I have never cared less. Your father is no acquaintance of me. Am I not your friend, Todoroki-san? Don't I have a right to know my friend comfortable in body and spirit?" Then, quite she added, "have you not encouraged me when my own spirit was low? I want to do this, and nothing can change my mind. Only your opinion is of importance."

His hand comes up to the strand of hair by his ear and he pulls on it slightly. "Seeing his face makes my blood boil. I can't see him right now."

"I would take you away," she offers. Encouraged by his honest words and worried by his nervous habit of pulling his hair, she takes another step closer, reaching for his hand and stopping the pulling. "I spoke with my parents already and they are sympathetic. A few well-placed words by our friends and folks will know that it's nothing but a break to grief at and rebuild your spirit. No one will know you avoid your father."

“This estate belongs to Touya though," Todoroki says, pulling at his hand until she lets it go. “I will not leave it behind in his hands. All else might be his but my brother bought this home with his own money and I will be damned if I let him stay here."

"I will arrange for him to leave. He won't be able to come back, not where work calls him to the west. My grandfather was of high standing in the military. One letter would be enough for your father to go and meet him."

"Why?" His looks at his hands, so she can't see his face as he asks. "Why would you go so far?"

"You are my frie-"

"I hold affection for you," he interrupts her so abruptly that Momo needs a moment to understand what he said. His hands are clenched tightly by his thighs, knuckles white where they aren't bruised. "It's not the time. And not the place. But you invited me to stay with you and I'll respect your offer by being honest."

"Affection," she repeats the word so foreign in his voice. But upon understanding what he means, she feels a different kind of nerves settle in. She takes a step back, not out of distaste but sudden awareness of their closeness. "Of course," she whispers, sparsely believing her ears.

Jirou, she thinks distressed in very many ways, I need your council.

"If you wish to retreat your offer-"

"Absolutely not." Momo wants to step closer again but it wouldn't be proper. So, she stays where she is and speaks. "You will come once your father leaves here. And I will notify my mother of our relations. She will make appropriate arrangements for your stay."

"Relations?" He finally looks at her, still pale, still full of anger and grief but there is at least room for another emotion, she thinks.

"I always thought my feelings for you as most obvious. But even without my own attraction towards you, I would have made this offer as a friend," she explains and doesn't stutter. In parts thanks to Todoroki, she's confident in her choices and her action won't leave her embarrassed. She speaks the truth.

Still, she finds a flush come to her when he reaches for her hand and holds it against his forehead, his face bend over it. The gesture is so tender, that for one moment she stops breathing. But as her hand grows moist with tears shed, her heart steels with determination.

She will take him somewhere comfortable, without the lingering shadow of death right outside the window, so that he might tend to his wounds.

Where his words were her greatest comfort, she would make sure her home is his.

#my writing #mine #todomomo #todoroki x momo

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tartagilicious · 4 years

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so, I have no shame. I tried to remember every time I cried or got significantly emotional about something in mlqc, I wrote down what I was thinking in a notebook. I’ve now come to share those with you all now that I’ve just been emotionally scarred by a mobile game again ☺️✨ there are also spoilers for chapter 25 under the cut, so please be advised about that and skip reading it if you don’t want to be spoiled.

I’ll try my best to add to this post over time.

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- it’s a surprisingly sparse list?? even I expected more

- I’m emotional but not a crier and I stand by that ✨

#1- the first time a scene made me actually react. wow. I can barely even remember it. when kiro and the mc were trapped underground at the hacker’s convention, that was the first time I genuinely had an emotional response to the game. I remember being like ??what?/ wHAT the fuck is happening why is he- why does- what??? *insert incoherent wheezing here* and I knew absolutely zero information about the more important parts of the game too, which made it so much more confusing lol. 0/10 do not recommend

#2- there was a similar response when kiro disappeared in chapter 14, but when gavin came back in chapter 14????? there were a few actual tears shed because I was so relieved and happy that he was back. that was the first time I cried over the game, and I know that because I remember watching tiktoks immediately after to calm down with tears in my eyes. only like a 3/10 on the crying scale but still valid nonetheless

#3- when lucien was revealed to be part of black swan. sigh. I didn’t cry. I was just disappointed. can you believe that I didn’t like him for bit of time because of that? I can’t even imagine that now, my team harem ass could never

#4- no. I did not cry when victor stabbed the mc, I was only supremely confused. I kind of closed out of the last chapter like “haha,,,,, I wanna know what happens next but first I need to figure out what just happened there.” and I didn’t cry when she went into the other world either! emotions? don’t know her.

#5- FUCK SO THIS IS WHAT EMOTIONS ARE. i was beyond excited when shaw appeared in chapter 21 or so, I remember it vividly because I’d been waiting so long for it. and ch22 gavin??? that was a 10/10 on the crying scale. hey, it was 3am, I was very emotionally vulnerable T-T anyway 10/10 would cry again. that scene read like a fanfiction and I loved it.

#6- (literally written in all caps) VICTOR GODDAMMIT IN THE CAR TELLING HER TO RUN IT WAS SO SOFT AND EMOTIONAL BECAUSE I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT TRUE REUNION BACK IN THE REAL WORLD BECAUSE POOR BABY PROBABLY MISSES HER AND FEELS SO GUILTY. 10/10 NOT BAD AND SOMEWHAT REDEEMING CONSIDERING HE DIDN’T TRUST HER AT ALL BEFORE.

#7- I….. partly the reason I’m making this post is because of this one. kiro and the mc’s reunion in chapter 24, I just played it now and am putting it in the place it makes sense…. this is the one concept and character that’s made me cry the most in mlqc by far, and this didn’t fail by any means. I cried as much here as I did with Gavin’s scene in ch22. especially at the line “I was so fierce to you before.. so cold. but when running away, you still didn’t leave me.”

#8- (why did I write so loudly omg) SHIT I THOUGHT IT WOULD AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME TIME BUT NO. LUCIEN’S CHAPTER 24 REUNION WITH THE MC HIT HARDER THAN MY CRIPPLING ANXIETY. WHEN HE SAID, “'You might need me, but I need you more.” I LOST IT. I DIDN’T REALLY CRY MUCH BUT IT DEPRESSED THE HELL OUT OF ME. 10/10 but I probably wouldn’t read it again because it honestly did make me really sad 😔

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#9- chapter 25, when Hypnos showed up after she broke free and got back to her world safely and had the nerve to say: “isn’t it so hard being an ordinary person?” after SHE LITERALLY WATCHED TWO EVOLVER CHILDREN BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM THE ORPHANAGE WITH HER OWN EYES. and saying barely anything useful when she asked any questions about what was going on. the next time I see Hypnos its on SIGHT

#10- when I tell you my jaw DROPPED when she got that text from kiro but it made me so happy :’) im excited to see him again, esp now that mc knows that helios and kiro are the same person.

#11- and at the end of that same chapter, there was that single line — “I am finally back.” and then her saying something that basically boiled down to, “No matter what world I’m in, he will always know evol and the queen ability the best. I must find xu mo.” like yes girl!!! please find him!!!! 🥺 I want a good true reunion so much, she’d better have one with each character or I don’t want it. because! technically the one in chapter 24 doesn’t count since it could’ve been with any of them, so it doesn’t affect the story, which means that them meeting again in their world would in theory be the first time they see each other again without trying to adhere to each guy.

#12- lucien, please shdjgfsdxfjgj I can’t stop laughing I know it’s serious but he finally went off the rails. I laugh, but its honestly really sad. he misses her so much that he hallucinates her, so he doesn’t react when she shows up at his lecture or when she tries to talk to him, because it’s a normal thing apparently. I just really want him to realise that it’s actually her standing in front of him, because right now it’s like talking to a brick wall tbh.

#13- lucien,,,,,, I’m not laughing anymore. please 🥺 when lost control in that one moment, and then she didn’t forgive him but he still sat by her bedside when he thought she was asleep and told her all of those things — I was so sad. the type where I didn’t even cry, I was just silent for a real long time. that was the first time that lucien admitted his emotions so openly to mc, and it was really sweet, even if some of the things he said were a little sketch. BUT it’s okay, I understand why he’s acting the way he is. I mean, he thought that the woman he loved was dead for months but then she just randomly appeared. he only wants to see her and keep her safe.

#mlqc #mr love queen’s choice #mr love #love and producer #恋与制作人 #otome #otome games #‘the next time I see Hypnos it’s on SIGHT’ is going on my gravestone

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