#im going back 2 my phase

[figofswords]

anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already

#the problem is. actually there are several problems #1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic #2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought #3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing #so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing #so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better #unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting #but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week #I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March #the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself. #well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look #and also I would feel bad #I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN #and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going #but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting #I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing #just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC #I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!! #stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!! #but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread #I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh

[the999thstar]

THE MARVELS SPOILERS

_______________________________

I'm way way way waaaaay more excited for Young Avengers than whatever the Kang storyline is/was gonna be. It's all I want from the MCU - banter, team-ups and interactions. They're gonna be such a fun to watch together so pleaseeeeee give it to us & do it well.

#we deserve it after the shit films & tv shows theyve put out this phase #ALSO WHILE IM COMPLAINING #retroactively go back to Ms Marvel and give us like 2 more episodes so the story can actually be told instead of rushed into 6 episodes #anyway @ MCU if you manage to give us a fun young avengers film maybe also a tv show soon ill forgive you for how bleh this phase has been #thx for coming to my ted talk #the marvels #the marvels spoilers #young avengers

[dilfkuza]

okay i feel like im going insane and making a red string board in my head but I've watched that Ichiban and Kiryu conversation way too many times and i swear Kiryu has to be lying to seem cool or the "proposal" he's talking about isn't a standard proposal. a man with nothing to hide wouldn't have his face shift from being this smug

to being this caught off guard when he's asked to give details

that's not the look of a man who's been asked to reveal something personal that might be emberassing or uncomfortable, that's the face of a man who got caught in a lie and doesn't know how to follow up.

i know Kiryu is pulling a story out of his ass to hold up a manly persona. he's looking around trying to come up with something believable because he didn't think through his gut reaction of "I need to seem cool in front of this younger guy who (maybe) looks up to me". man's looking around the skyline as if his childhood idea of a tough, macho yakuza is gonna float down and give him a story to tell.

I can't even think of who he could be referring to unless he's exaggerating his relationship with Yumi or Kaoru? or if it has something to do with the woman he's protecting in Gaiden but I wouldn't think so since that's just a side story. of course it's not impossible that he could have tried to have a relationship during one of the gaps in time between games (à la Majima having an ex-wife between games), but that would be a really cheap way to write themselves out of Kiryu being generally uninterested in women. in conclusion?

#personally i hope it either flashes back to something he said as a kid or that this is a big fake out/ out of context scene #where he immediately quotes something he said to someone in the clan instead #yes i want him to quote something he's said to Majima but I'll settle for literally any other guy in the clan #he's getting phased out of 'main character' status for Ichiban and the new gang anyways right? #what better time than this to confirm that our beloved Kiryu isn't straight? #wishful thinking i know I KNOWWW i just really dont want them to slap another woman that we 1. dont know or #2. never got to see the relationship develop with #set Kiryu free please rgg studios. i see the posts yall make on Valentine's day and boyfriend day it would be hilarious to drop it in here #yeah i did obsess over this video for my entire work shift And What Of It. i feel like a youtube detective analysing his body language #and my conclusion came out to this: he's very autistic and is trying to stick to the image Ichiban must have of him -> #but in doing so backed himself into a corner and is panicking. thank you for ur time im going insane <3 #bulletin board #kiryu kazuma #yakuza 8 #like a dragon 8

[crescentfool]

doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...

#lizzy speaks #to those who are curious what prompted this: my friend and i are collaborating on a video essay together #we picked it back up a week and a half ago after it laid in limbo for a month or two #and we're currently in the phase of editing it together (scripting + recording the VO is done) #and MAN. my respect for people who work on scripted/informative content just shot up through the ROOF #most of my experience with editing comes from footage first and then edit down approach (rather than creating/gathering visuals to uplift- #a written script) and it's. well. they engage with very different skillsets i think #my friend who i am collaborating with is very amused at me because this is not her first rodeo. meanwhile me as a first-timer. #i am telling her about how i am losing my mind over my editing timeline having gaps of footage because i couldn't think of anything to put #for certain portions (or i just didnt feel like looking through preexisting footage on the internet and dl-ing it) #and she compared it to 'telling a kid whos going thru puberty that its normal' EKLHFGLHH #im ngl the way i have spent like maybe 10 hours today off and on looking up footage and fact checking the splat artbook is so. explodes #it makes sifting through an 11 hour batch of footage of me playing big run sound like a cakewalk in comparison LMAOO #anyway if you read this far thank you :D i hope that in 2024 i can continue to be humbled in trying new things #and i highly encourage others 2 do so too! try a new method of approaching something or do smthn slightly adjacent to what you do! #tis a good learning experience and also makes u very appreciative of the things that are out there methinks #im literally only editing an 11 minute segment or so idfk how people make those 1+ hr video essays LIKE HELLO??? ESP IF ITS LICENSED MEDIA #HOW DO U GET ALL THE FOOTAGE FOR THAT. U MUST BE REALLY HYPERFIXATED AND DEDICATED TO THAT. DAMN. anyway. have a good 2023 everyone!

[graveyard-society]

humanized toy chica jumpscare

#im getting pulled back into my fnaf phase thanks fnaf movie #i might drop a couple more #which honestly might just be my personal favorites and whoever else gets a random design in my head #none of these will be cohesive im going based on vibes #also i forgot to put it in the bullet points but shes like an epic ass person. id be besties with her. #but i guess that was already implied bcs of big sister vibes #toy chica #fnaf 2 #five nights at freddy's 2 #aiden.png

[kenjakusbraincum]

I think it’s so cool to see how different people interpret the same character. I write Sukuna very differently than you (I enjoy the sadism too much to ever let him be soft). And yet, I love the way you write him. Especially in Reverence. Your writing style is lovely and I appreciate how you take the time to flesh out the characters and their surroundings. I am very excited for part 2 <3

Thank you for the kind words!!!

I was very hellbent on keeping Sukuna as in character as I can while writing Reverence, but that ending hurt me a bit too personally and I had to satisfy my inner softie with tons of unrelated Sukuna fluff to make up for it !! Soft Sukuna brings me soo much joy and I'll indulge in him no matter how ooc it is 😩

But really I love all the different iterations of him! I'm definitely gonna stalk your acc later to read your Sukuna stuff bc based off that strikethrough comment... I'm Interested 👀

#all this soft sukuna stuff has made me lose my spark for reverence a bit #but i go through these phases all the time #im sure ill be back on evil sukuna train soon enough to finish part 2 >:)

[holdoncallfailed]

maybe i like movies again........just maybe...........

#im going back to my french new wave phase....FOR REAL THIS TIME #french new wave 2: the wavening. newer and frencher than ever #text

[catter-bug]

He got his sprinkles!

#i really liked sonic 2!! ive got to go back and rewatch sonic x #im just slowly getting into my drawing sonic phase about 15 years late #art #digital art #fan art #sonic #sonic 2 #knuckles #tails

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

oh my god just got an email that my copy of glitch in time was delivered today.... i am NOT going to apologize for the person i will become next week when i get to read it

#im sooooo fucking excited. holy shit #im abt to go HARD back into my dp phase i hope u are all ready to get a taste of what 2014-16 mac was like. #absolutely insufferable. i have so many headcanons that have nothing to do with fanob #simply because i did not get into the fandom until like... early 2017 ? maybe? #up until then it was me and like 2 friends being insane to each other. #and both of them turned out to be complete assholes so that shit is MINE now #the most painful part of being on vacation is knowing my copy of agit is at home and i cannot read it until i get back #blahblahblah #reaction time

[bo0zey]

ok so i literally have like at least 12 super depressing horrible gut-wrenching soul-crushing backstories for ALLLLLLLL of my characters in the 3 major books i’ve been wanting to publish for like >10yrs now....n i literally stare straight-faced at my screen the entire time i’m writing these angsty-ass backstories....

....but now tell me why i’m working on a certain someone’s character death n im like sick to my mf stomach like it’s literally churning n my throat keeps gettin choked up and now my eyes are starting to prickle w tears like ?????WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LIKE WHY AM *I*, THE LITERAL AUTHOR, SUFFERING EMOTIONAL TURMOIL???????? I’M LITERARLLY CHOOSING TO DO THIS IT’S DEADASS *MY* STORY I GET TO DECIDE WHO STAYS N GOES WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSLEFKJKWFNDF

#i think the stomach dropping/churning is from guilt like ir eally fuckin love him so much i dont want him to die #think abt it rn im gonna start crying #IM OFF MY PERIOD WHY AM I SO EMOTIONAL?????????????? #WHAT PHASE IS THE FUCKING MOON IN #lowkey i feel like god's telling me NOT to do this............to rethink my decisions......n like ok maybe i will but right now it seems #like the right thing 2 do...LIEK AS IN FOR THE PLOTLINE NOT LIKE FOR LITERALLY ANYONES LIFE ITS ACTUALLY ME BEING AN ASSHOLE #ok yall im gonna go back 2 typing pray 4 me #i cant afford to get any tears on my 5yr old macbook #shut up cianna #bo0zey #ciannnna wattpad

[marigoldstereo]

beginning to think i might need to get reevaluated

#in general i dont believe in labels because for me they've done more harm than good #HOWEVER i think i need a professional to tell me 'oh yeah you've got like 8 personality disorders' #JUST so i know what im dealing with. i need a starting point. #anyway i'm beginning to think my narcissist phase wasn't actually a phase #i've gone through everything i can to be like 'ok whats triggering me whats making me feel like shit' #and it comes back to the same thing every time -- im not getting the hyperspecific kind of attention i want #and this alone wouldn't make me believe im a narcissist #but then i remember i have no empathy #and i view people as 98% below me and there's that holy 2% that're above me #and that i get angry when people close to me are upset over something i deem a non-issue #and then im like.... huh. i might be a narcissist. #i thought it was residual from being raised by a narcissist #but uhhh no i think thats just the way i am. #i'm trying to explore it more cause i don't believe in self-dx nor do i know anyone with actual npd #(the one person i do know and can talk to about it is fucking annoying so im not doing that) #anyway im going through it because i hate everything i do right now

[girlfictions]

omg yes!!! barry is sososoos good and i had brainrot over it for a good 2 months . like !! esp season 3 is INSANEEEE okay . so excited for u to watch it^_^

i can't wait omfg i'll definitely be liveblogging my every thought i adore a good dramedy 💪

#we can go insane over it together if you dont mind delving back into your 2 month brainrot phase...? #i actually srs do not know why i havent tapped into barry yet #<- actualy its because im lazy and like to watch things on streaming services bc pirating is so hard with my awful wifi #BUT I WILL DO IT FOR BILL HADER ! And for u nonnie<3

[masonsystem]

the ps3 froze.

#while i was collecting those stupid crystals not during the fight at least. but god #but anyways i was SO CLOSE THIS TIME.... #was dishing out phys attack after phys attack during phase 2 i had a great rhythm and kept shutting down pagodas and attacking #and then jecht decided to go fast as fuck w like 14 moves in a row beating my ass like 😭 #if i had dished out yuna's grand summon i couldve probably defeated him then.... UGHHHH #and its so annoying bc i think 2 bahamut limits would be enough to kill in phase 2 BUT MY #BAHAMUT CANT SURVIVE A WHOLE ROUND OF ATTACKS I DONT THINK.... like the pagodas and jecht beat my ass for so long w no break 😭😭😭😭 #i feel like im close tho... ill let this bitch of a console cool down and ill be back at it

[peskypescatarian]

mad relationship anxiety today i dont want it!

#you found your person! you can rest now #i know all the reasons why #actually i will list them: #1) i am on my period and my emotions go fucking crazy every time i get my period #2) im still in the process of changing my self view... so falling back on sad view of self is bound to happen every now and then #NOOOO I AM MID-TYPING THE TAGS TO THIS POST AND HE JUST SENT ME A REALLY CUTE SONG WHILE HE'S AT THE AIRPORT #I LOVE YOU MATTHEW #3) our first anniversary is coming up really soon and i'm still a little Long term scared that i'm Not Good Enough for him #so milestones are a reminder that this is a long term thing WHICH IS GREAT BUT ALSO JUST SCARY! #LIKE IVE NEVER DATED SOMEONE FOR A WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT FIGHTING THEM EVER #I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP ... EVER ... MUCH LESS FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR #4) our plans for after college are approaching closer and closer! i'm thinking more about traveling together #and living together and marrying each other so of course i'm a little scared about it not being forever #5) he's going to a WEDDING as we speak so OF COURSE I AM THINKING ABOUT MARRYING HIM #6) we're further from the honeymoon phase so i'm learning how to feel loved without being infatuated all the time. #i'm learning to build my confidence without too much reassurance AND communicate my needs #THATS A LOT #I'M DOING GOOD #mostly my period though LMAO #its just when im in a moment like this i just want god herself to come down and be like #but it's not that simple and love is an active choice every single day #and i know that in a good way but i'm still so scared of the future #i just gotta stick thru these anxiety prone days so i can make it to the days when i'm not as scared #both short term and long term #like in the short term i'll have my more confident days after my period #and in the long term i hope this anxiety is something i can handle better #IM ALREADY STARTING TO HANDLE IT BETTER #ok im done i think lol #time to go listen to the song he sent me #i love u tumblr

[thedevotionaltour]

please fund eiffel's european tour so that i, eiffel, can travel around europe to hunt down jamie hewlett and run him over with a car

#last post like this for today i promise i promiseee 🤗 and i say today cuz i make zero promises for tomorrow lol SORRY #it is weighing soooo heavy on my mind like it is just so. idk it's gonna sound silly but like kinda like it makes me sad it breaks my heart #cuz i really did only see the surface level of it cuz i just idk i wasnt exploring official stuff sk heavily i really was more in the fan #made stuff realm in middle school. so it's like to just go back through so much phase 1+2 art and just get. hit with that image after image #it like. hurts! it's silly as fuck to say but it does! like im filipino! im asian! and the band i love treats and depicts asian people #in a very racist manner. and a lot of the white fandom has never been very kind to poc either. cuz they'll love the characters but when #black or brown people say hey. some of this is really really bad. they get really mad at us. a lot. like listen i love russ i love noodle. #but there is no way to defend almost anything jaimie and ppl involved in the writing have depicted them. #and i dont know. it just sucks to remember. it just sucks that's all there is to say. so much of my fandom experience in middle school was #having to learn how much racism lies within fandom. and how much white people just hate us doing anything in fan content. #or just seeing us as fellow fans.or seeing poc depicted in their media. i didnt have a very fun fandom experience in my early t(w)een years #static.soundz