#ill continue to beg n jump thru hoops

[semiotomatics]

so fucking heartbroken that my next therapy appt isnt till the 30th

#i hate the holidays i hate them i hate them i hate them #i need to talk to her!!!! #shes literally the only person in all this who gets it + is in my corner #i need her advice or support or just. to talk to her and have her understand #id try to book a last minute phone appt or smth if i could afford it #as it is im already abt to max out my insurance coverage w the appt on the 30th #actually i dont even think my remaining balance will cover it #which is. fun. considering the whole reason im wishing i could book another appt #is to talk abt how my insurance is refusing to extend my std benefits 🙃🙃🙃 meaning im not getting oaid 🙃🙃🙃 #merry fucking christmas to me i guess #peace and love on planet earth unless youre suicidally depressed and severely traumatized to the point of being unable to work #then you can get fucked #but whatever yknow #whatever #ill continue to beg n jump thru hoops #ill continue to try to get ppl to believe me #same way i have been my entire life #remember kids: the system doesnt actually want to help you #the system wants you working or it wants you dead #lol soz said i was better. guess im not! #still filled w rage #i should take more melatonin #at least i can sleep