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suspiciousgay · 7 years

Text

this is gonna be really funny or really fucking stupid

so @ohxfiddlesticks and i went on a lil midnight adventure so uh let’s begin shall we also this is probably gonna be super long so uh

oh and quick thing the reason it’s in text format and not screenshots is they stopped saving past the seventh pic so uh

broadway trash: i mean i can always rebrush alrighty i’ll see if we have anything that’s the equivalent to ginger ale

therapissed: Whoops

broadway trash: i’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure except not really it’s just bread anyway

therapissed: Yeah I’ll go try to get smth too Bringing my phone

broadway trash: *starts screeching out the mission impossible theme* DUN DUN DUNNA DUN DUN DUNNA BWANANAAAAA

therapissed: We still have that lemon from last time lma o

broadway trash: pfff

therapissed: We have oatmeal cream pies Which isn’t healthy probably but Damn I really need an emoji keyboard for that shrug thing

broadway trash: i’m like prancing around while trying to be super quiet what is this ballerina superspy bullshit

therapissed: Lmao “I’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure” It’s one lmao Oh we have bread Guess I’ll get that

broadway trash: I JUST COLLAPSED INTO THE FUCKING PANTRY IM

therapissed: Good job

broadway trasg: also good lord everything is so loud at night like plate shush

therapissed: Me @ the pantry door And the fridge door

broadway trash: i looked to my left and i thought someone was running at me i’m dying pfff same

therapissed: We have two radishes in the fridgs Fridge Why can’t I type fridge

broadway trash: ?????? well then

therapissed: They’re just like Laying there Not in a container or anything They’re just

*and this is where you imagine just two radishes sitting there in a fridge*

broadway trash: i almost dropped everything i was carrying hoooooo golly that would’ve been BAAAAD pffff

therapissed: I have two slices of bread and an oatmeal cream pie how did you get so much

broadway trash: ?? what??

therapissed: Idk you said “everything” you it seems like you had a lot Idk my brainsbdndnsnnfndnd

broadway trash: ohh *slams face onto the stove* nah i had some bread and got super hungry so i decided fuck it i’m making a sandwich and i almost dropped the condiments and the plate

therapissed: I could get saltine crackers *faceplants onto crackers* Oh ok Me, making a sandwich: Ok we got the bread and mayonnaise that’s all i feel like getting

broadway trash: pffff

therapissed: Mayonnaise sandwich i guess I found a ginger ale do you want it

broadway trash: sure

therapissed: *throws vaguely in your direction*

broadway trash: pfff thanks

therapissed: Yw It landed about 200 miles from you though Sorry

broadway trash: i misread that as the “uwu” face

therapissed: Lmao

broadway trash: oh well i need the exercise anyway

therapissed: “Here’s to happiness freedom and life” I hear through my earbuds as I make a mayonnaise sandwich at 1:10 AM

broadway trash: pffff same whoops ok the sandwich has been gotten now i want chocolate milk

therapissed: I filled my water bottle and forgot to bring it to the event lmao I’ll grab it when I go up

broadway trash: welp ok i feel like i’m about to get murdered every fucking noise is making me jump help something’s moving around down the hallway THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT FUCK IM A GONER

therapissed: Hey no that’s my job Being scared of everything

broadway trash: wtf when did i get mustard on my shirt

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: where are the ghosts

therapissed: Shshshhshshsshshs

broadway trash: mother of fuck the towel keeps falling from its place

therapissed: SHUDH

broadway trash: STAY ON THE FUCKING COUNTER YOU DEMON

therapissed: SHUSH SVUSHSSDHHHHHH

broadway trash: SORRY

therapissed: ITS OK MY HOUSE IS FUCKING CREEPY THO IM DYING SHUS H

broadway trash: alrighty i’m still fucking hungry guess this is what happens when you eat nothing for a whole day wtf i forgot i had a light switch right next to me i was standing here paranoid in the dark for a decade doing nothing

therapissed: Lmao Where’s my water bottle One sec

broadway trash: okie then MOTHER OF FUCK MICROWAVE BE QUIETER actually y’know what fuck it *throws microwave out the window* uuuuuuugh it’s so fucking ominous i feel like i’m about to get sacrificed kill me now

therapissed: My bottle was in the sink under a few things but still full for some reason and when I took it out I died it was so loud

broadway trash: eH

therapissed: Yo do you wanna see ominous

broadway trash: uhh sure

therapissed: One second lemme get back downstairs bc I’m in my room right now

broadway trash: okie

*now imagine a staircase, like the kind from a horror movie*

broadway trash: fUCK

therapissed: There’s two lights on this stairwell and they turn on one at a time slowly

broadway trash: ok i just grabbed the biggest knife we have

therapissed: And that plastic up there? It moves a lot even if there’s only a fan on downstairs Also that pic doesn’t have all the stairs And to the right of me I have this

broadway trash: YEEZUS aAH NOISES FUCK YOU DEMON YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

*ok now just imagine a black screen, like a void or something idk*

broadway trash: it’s just dark

therapissed: That’s to the right of me Ik Bc the lights are off

broadway trash: CHRIST ON A BIKE WHY IS THE NIGHT SO SCARY

therapissed: And my kitchen spans one side of the entire house (fuck you open-floor plans) and it uses three light switches to light it up and it’s really creepy bc smth could come from either direction while you’re making food and you wouldn’t know And behind me where I was making was a really big window lmao

broadway trash: oh god i legislation just yelled “HONEY CALM DOWM” save meeeeee ;-; legislation good fucking job me

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: NOISES HOLD ON KNIFE WHERE ARE YOUUUU ;-; I JUST GRABBED THE FUCKING BLADE OW

therapissed: I’m eating in my room which is still creepy but like fuck no not the kitchen

broadway trash: wow i’m a real fuckup when scared

therapissed: Same What are you eating btw

broadway trash: chicken whoops there was a single chicken breast in a bag so

therapissed: At 1:30

broadway trash: y e p

therapissed: Lmao I somehow put too much mayonnaise on this sandwich I’m dying

broadway trash: ok so so far i almost broke a plate, got scared of a light, almost stabbed myself in the hand, and almost dropped my glass which is still full of milk my night is going derek swell** who the fuck is derek

therapissed: Pffffft

broadway trash: maybe he’s the thing making all the noises if it’s not him it better fucking be my cat

therapissed: I feel like I’m gonna one day haunt this house and people will just hear the weird laughter of me texting people

broadway trash: pfff yes and same acutally

bob: i was literally gone for like thirty minutes what happened

broadway trash: oH SHIT HI BOB

therapissed: Lmao

bob: oml

therapissed: We scavenged for food and died of fright seventeen times

bob: i

therapissed: We’re like those fainting goats

bob: y’all need a supervisor

broadway trash: i just started cackling for no reason help

bob: like an actual supervisor

broadway trash: is derek possessing me

bob: I’m hiring a babysitter omg

therapissed: Bob you’re our supervisor duh

bob: i was literally gone for thirty minutes

bob sent a video.

therapissed: HDHSNFNDNSJF

bob: this is literally what happened inn the last thirty minutes omg why also jemmy u ok

therapissed: Wait lemme find a video of fainting goats bc that’s what’s been happening to us

broadway trash: THAT WAS ON FULL VOLUME I THINK I WOKE MY NEIGHBORHOOD UP DAMMIT ME am i ever ok oh fuck my chocolate milk got all over the stove ;-; nOISES-

bob: i oh my god

broadway trash: MY SISTER JUST SCARED ME SO BAD I ALMOST KILLED A BITCH

bob: ok also fiddlesticks I’m going to call u tommy unless u want another nickname

therapissed: HOLY FUCK I JUST FOUND A CALL OF THE WILDMAN VIDEO IM CACKLIN G That’s fine

broadway trash: my sister thought i was crying

bob: y’all need a babysitter and r u crying or r u laughing

broadway trash: no i was like nervously cackling

bob: oohok

broadway trash: i think derek’s possessing me

bob: ok

therapissed sent a video.

bob: tell derek it’s bedtime

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles and trrible draaings that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: TIM I FOUND US OMG

broadway trash: derek is our new demon friend

bob: please tell ur new demon friend it’s past bedtime

therapissed: Dude: *sneezes* Us: *dies* I forgot how ridiculous that show was I think the dude died by crocodile though

broadway trash: e H wow now i’m sad ;-;

trerapissed: Sorry But Are we fainting goats or are we fainting goats

broadway trash: no we’re fainting goats

therapissed: Good argument I take my statement back Bob where’d you go we’re gonna die without you

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles, trrible draaings, and fainting goats that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: Lma o Oh

Call, 3s

bob: what

broadway trash: WAS THAT ME SORRY wait what

therapissed: Nvm

broadway trash: oh what i’m confused

therapissed: I forgot lmao Tim are you still eating or

broadway trash: no i’m brushing my teeth

therapissed: Okie dokie I love TGC’s Tony performance wtf

broadway trash: i almost fell into the bathtub help

therapissed: . Fainting goat

bob: what are y’all doing

therapissed: We are literally fainting goats personified wtf

broadway trash: i’m dying

bob: jemmy no jemmy please tommy don’t encourage this please

therapissed: I’m not Not trying to at least

broadway trash: I JUST DROPPED MY PHONE IT WAS SO LOUD IM SNORTING HELP

bob: omg

therapissed: WTF TIM WHAT ARE YOU DOIN G

bob: i love u all but what

broadway trash: MY SISTER SCARED ME

therapissed: TIM WHY

broadway trash: HEY BLAME HER NOT ME

therapissed: You are a disaster But so am I So it’s fine

broadway trash: YEA NO SHIT HONEY

bob: how does ur sister scare you so often u were literally in the bathroom

broadway trash: I GET SCARED EASILY WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD A BIG ASS KITCHEN KNIFE WHILE I WAS EATING A SANDWICH

bob: why did u have a knife if u know u get scared easily

therapissed: Bc she gets scared easily

bob: doesn’t that mean ur chances of stabbing someone rises

therapissed: But

broadway trash: ye but

therapissed: She didn’t want to be stabbed by someone else

broadway trash: ye

bob: ur literally in ur own house

broadway trash: IM PARANOID OK

bob: ok fine but no more knife

therapissed: Yes more knives All of the knives

bob: no more knives

broadway trash: they’re right in my kitchen??

therapissed: ALL OF THEM

bob: tommy no

therapissed: Tommy yes

bob: tommy n o

broadway trash: and i have like two pocket knives in my room?

therapissed: Tommy y e s

bob: ok jemmy 1) no and 2) tommy wtf

therapissed: ;)

bob: g r o u n d e d

#just so y'all are clear broadway trash is me therapissed is oh fiddlesticks and bob is kufufufufu #help meeeeeeee #my skype chat is so weird #we got grounded #i think bob is our mom now

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