#if you've ever been to costco on a weekend

[chainofclovers]

For the second time in two years I have bought a shirt on the internet that I did not realize was a crop top only to find out it was! The latest one was at least very cheap (marked down so low it's nonrefundable), an impulse buy tacked on to an order of a few nicer items (all of which work great, thanks very much). But like.......what the hell. I knew this top would be "slightly cropped" and I knew to size up because there were enough reviews saying it ran small, but everything about it online led me to believe it would be fitted and the type of cropped that looks good with high-waisted jeans. No one mentioned that if you've got a C cup or higher, this thing will basically look like a very modest bra with short sleeves. (The model looks like she has bigger boobs than me--I'm a C--but I could be delusional.) (On the bright side, had many laughs over this thing when it arrived last night, and when it ends up at Goodwill with the tags still on it makes me happy to think about the absolute journey some unwitting customer is going to go through when they stretch this thing over their chest and experience their body from a whole new view.)

Small victory: it was very cool of my brain that when I put that shirt on, my first thought was not "ugh my body is terrible" but was instead "oh my god this shirt is so wack and that is hilarious"!

I've been thinking a lot about my job and the way my relationship to it ebbs and flows dramatically. I'm in a period of really liking it right now. This could end at any time. And so could, I suppose, the job itself, although things seem relatively stable. Something that's been helping me ever since I went on my once-every-few-months Costco run last weekend is thinking about how my job is only fake important and I genuinely could see myself being one of the food sample people at Costco. I love talking to people, including small talk and random brief encounters. (Believe it or not, this was my favorite part of my years working retail.) I love giving people food. I would not have to think about giving people food at Costco when I was not at Costco giving people food, although I absolutely would. Maybe I will do this when I retire, and maybe I will retire today. :) :) :)

I am not going to retire today, but an exit strategy that is unrelated to writing feels so nice and silly and calming.

I've been having a fucking fantastic time writing lately, even as it is, as always, difficult and annoying. Writing! Yeah!

Also as always, the world is so bad and so good, and everything is going on, and being a person is so weird.

#this was so random #about me #personal

[evilasiangenius]

Rewatching Good Omens again (comfort watching) means occasionally having some weird epiphanies like...

Brain: Have you noticed that Gabriel’s jogging outfit has some serious Costco Dad vibes with the sweats and the white sneakers?  He just needs the Kirkland Signature Dad Jeans as part of another outfit to go with those white sneakers and...

Thanks brain, I hate it.

So imagine this: Gabriel at Costco on a weekend afternoon, shopping for a new casual outfit and he runs into Beelzebub, Hastur, Ligur, and Dagon who are there to eat free samples and to inspect the local evil levels...

#archangel gabriel #beelzebub #good omens #good omens tv #ineffable bureaucracy #if you've ever been to costco on a weekend #you'd know those evil levels are really high #beelzebub does not eat free samples #and beelzebub is 1000% offended by gabriel's costco dad outfit #it is an abomination worthy of the deepest pits of hell #beelzebub probably shops at abercrombie & fitch #have you ever been in one? #it's like being trapped in the deepest pits of hell #dark; smelly; loud; disorienting... #every piece of clothing shaming you for having a normal human body #perfect for a prince of hell #beelzebub probably personally formulated their perfume/cologne #just walking by it would give me a headache #in fact just thinking about it now gives me a headache #asmodeus shops at american apparel