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#if nobody got me i know wikipedia got me. can i get an amen.
babygirlificationn · 1 year
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Εθνική Ελλάδος σπορτς άνιμε ριαλ;;;
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stevenwhunt · 7 years
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Poofy Pops
There are a lot of dark secrets in my family's past, a lot of "skeletons in the closet", if you will, specifically on my mother's side. However, they are usually pretty "normal" things - drug use, armed robberies, malicious stalking - definitely nothing like murder or hidden rape dungeons, or at least not that I know of. However, the scariest thing that I ever faced wasn't a direct result of any of my family's history, but simply due to one of them being absent-minded.
My mother was a drug addict throughout her teens, but managed to clean up at the age of 20. My father knew this when he started dating her, and he never passed a chance to remind her of how proud he was that she had beaten such a toxic way of life. This didn't last, however; shortly after my fourth birthday, my uncle Ravi was released from prison, and he got her back into drugs. After finding out, my parents separated and my mother went "away" - where, I'm not certain; "away" was just what had been told and anybody who would know today has since passed on.
My father was in the army, and not too long after separation, he was deployed. My father had no remaining living family and most of my mother's family was either in jail or on the lam. The only other family member I had left was my Aunt Dee, who hadn't fallen into anything notorious like her siblings, but instead was immensely scatter-brained. This usually didn't cause too many problems, however, and even though my father didn't always get along with her, he trusted her enough to put me in her care while he was overseas.
I liked my Aunt Dee. She was still kind of a kid at heart, and had a lot of childish amenities that I wasn't allowed to have at home. She ate Sugar Shock cereal every morning and had lots of action figures and video games. After about a week, we'd run out of cereal, so on her way back from picking me up from school, she swung by a store that we happened to pass. It was one of those smaller, dollar store-type outfits, but not like a franchise; more of a family-owned business. I don't remember the name, but I do remember that their mascot was a happy-looking pelican.
This store didn't have Sugar Shock but they did have a cereal that was identical to it in every way. It was called Poofy Pops, my aunt told me, and the store's pelican mascot adorned the box. Looking back, I still have yet to figure out how a tiny operation like that store was able to have custom labels and boxes with their logo and mascot. Anyway, despite not being Sugar Shock proper, Aunt Dee figured it was close enough.
The next morning, Aunt Dee was running late for work and taking me to pre-school. One of the factors in favor of my father relenting to choosing to let me stay with Aunt Dee instead of, say, a family friend, is that my pre-school was on the way to her job, and she worked part-time at a high-end law firm, which meant she had enough income to support both of us, but also her hours took place during my class. As she was finishing up, she poured me a bowl of Poofy Pops. They tasted remarkably identical to Sugar Shock and I was delighted.
The morning after, she wasn't in as much of a hurry, but she still didn't stick around long enough to sit with me as she usually did. She took her bowl of Poofy Pops with her while I sat at the dining room table and looked at the box. I was a slow learner and didn't know how to read very much yet, but I enjoyed looking at the boxes of things while I ate, especially if it had fun imagery to occupy me. Sugar Shock had a lot of puzzles on the box, but I never could figure out how to play them since I couldn't read the instructions at the time; I still liked looking at them all the same. The boring cereals that my parents used to buy never had anything fun at all on them.
Poofy Pops were somewhere in the middle. They had a few comics strip on the back with their pelican mascot and a few other cartoony animal characters, but I didn't always get the punchline because sometimes it required reading the speech bubbles. Some of them, however, had little to no writing and the humor was physical, so I got those ones pretty clearly. Those ones were, obviously, my favorite.
On one of the sides were photos of two children. At first I thought this was weird, but one of the few things I remember my mother teaching me, was that when she was younger, they used to put photos of missing children on milk cartons in hopes that someone would recognize them and that they could be safely returned to their families. The thought of these children on the side distressed me a bit, because even at four years old, the idea of other children being in danger was scary. Eventually, though, as the days passed, I just found myself staring at the photos and imagining happier scenarios, like the kids picking up their own boxes of Poofy Pops and seeing themselves on the box, and being returned to where they belonged. Other times, I imagined the kids sitting next to me, eating Poofy Pops with me.
Within a few days the box was empty, and my aunt had said she was going to go back to Sugar Shock, but I told her that I wanted Poofy Pops again. Not only were they much cheaper (although I didn't know that at the time), but there was something that drew me to the boxes that I couldn't explain. Maybe it was the imaginary adventures I had with the children whose photos I'd seen, or maybe it was because the physical comedy comic strips frustrated me less than the puzzles with instructions I didn't understand. She relented and the next time we went to that store, she picked up three boxes.
It surprised me that all of the imagery on the boxes save for the front were different on each box. After years of the drab, identical boxes of whatever healthy nonsense my parents bought me, and then the two Sugar Shock boxes having the same things on both, I was delighted that every box brought something new. The comics were different on each one, and even the photos of the children were different.
Eventually, my father returned from deployment, and I was excited to see him again. I loved hanging out at Aunt Dee's, but I missed my father. The day he came to pick me up, I was still eating breakfast. I excitedly showed him the box of Poofy Pops. He looked over the box, no doubt trying to see how it stacked up against the "adult" cereals he bought that he forced me to partake in as well. However, all color drained from his face when he looked at the side. This was a man who had seen combat and for some reason, I got the feeling that this was the most scared he'd been in his life.
"Deepika," he called to my aunt softly, like he was trying to find his voice. He called her name a little louder after clearing his throat.
"What is it?" she asked, walking over to him.
"Where... where did you buy this?"
"Oh, that little store about three blocks from her pre-school. Why? What's wrong?"
My father coughed and cleared his throat again with a slight stumble, his face still pale. He looked back and fell into Aunt Dee's armchair. "D...d...did you even look at this? At these children?"
"Yeah, I guess that's the missing children alert? Like when we were kids?" My aunt frowned. "What is it?"
"That's not what this says. This calls them... ingredients."
I don't remember much after that. I don't think I even knew what an "ingredient" was at the time. I do remember a lot of phone calls and yelling. The police came to Aunt Dee's apartment and later to my house. Years later, after I finally realized what was going on, I began having nightmares of eating bowls of children's flesh and bones and had to attend a lot of counseling.
My father and Aunt Dee have since passed on, and I have no idea where my Uncle Ravi or mother are. I don't know precisely where that store was, but I imagine it was swiftly shut down. I haven't seen Sugar Shock since that time, either... I'm not sure if there was any connection with the manufacturers of Poofy Pops or if people just linked the two in their minds and they ended up discontinuing it. In my teens and adult life, since I'd become more proficient at using the internet and of course, at reading, I've done a lot of searching and I can't ever find any trace online of Poofy Pops, nor of a reason for Sugar Shock disappearing from shelves. The only mention I find of the latter is on Wikipedia where it gave the year I last saw them as the discontinuation date, with the words [citation needed] next to it.
I still haven't given up on my search to uncover the truth, but it also doesn't consume my life. I've got Google Alerts set up for a wide array of search terms, and even though I've long since moved out of Dearborn, every time I go back I ask around about the store; nobody seems to remember such a place. Being so young, and also since I could barely read at the time, it makes it pretty tough to have any concrete memories that I can use to aid me. Really the only vivid memory I have is of that pelican mascot, and how happy he was. The thought of the happy pelican actually makes me feel good until I remember what horrors he was associated with.
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hgfstreamchats · 3 years
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I Love You Phillip Morris
thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:06 PM I've always found sanding very satisfying, as well. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:15 PM I do wonder how he decided how to make the support platform.   I mean, weight is going to play a part there, obviously! And it seems to have come without one highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:17 PM That was charming! thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:17 PM :smile: highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:17 PM I'm glad that human will never suffer unweighed eggs again. "Unless parades are cancelled where you live, in which case we're going to rub that fact in your face." thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:19 PM Heh. This is cute. highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:20 PM There are a lot of animals with missing limbs in this parade. They're the survivors from last year's crash.
thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:21 PM Shhhh. ...Wait, what crash? highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:22 PM The 50 float pileup that decimated the Saccharine Cartoon Animal Community. Carnage and cute little pride flags everywhere. Mimic — Yesterday at 10:24 PM on the plus side, they seem to have joined the rest of the world in ceasing to give fucks thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:24 PM Well, I think you're just making that up. highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:24 PM I would never kid about something as serious as cartoon animals getting crushed under rainbow floats. Mimic — Yesterday at 10:27 PM I'm sorry, do I hear theremin in these opening credits highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:28 PM Well, this ought to be fun. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:28 PM W...what Mimic — Yesterday at 10:30 PM looks up movie based on... a real life person... thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:31 PM And who is super impatient waiting for this prayer to end Is he... uh....... I mean, right now? :neutral_face: "maybe" Oh god he's even in uniform To do this Mimic — Yesterday at 10:33 PM ohhh no thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:34 PM She kind of looks too old to be his mother if she was "young" at the time THAT'S THE QUESTION So is that the neighbor, or some other guy highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:38 PM I'm liking this human more and more by the minute. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:38 PM Better than when he was a cop, anyway! Mimic — Yesterday at 10:39 PM GRACEFUL DIVE thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:40 PM F Did it just pause? Well, that movie was a lot shorter than I expected! You skipped a bit! It broke right after "why do you--yeah, there Hooo boy highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:44 PM "And then he carried on with this lifestyle indefinitely, the end." thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:44 PM Nicely inconspicuous! highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:46 PM Yes. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:46 PM Wow Be gay, do crime The fucking... dive pose... Oh dear I'm sensing a pattern highglossfinish — Yesterday at 10:49 PM Seems like a fun place. Mimic — Yesterday at 10:50 PM oh yeah. laugh a minute. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 10:53 PM ...oof .....oof. !! Awww! highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:00 PM Awww indeed! Dance with him, it's an adorable song. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:03 PM Well. :frowning: :sob: highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:10 PM Beautiful. Now don't frag it up. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:10 PM Nice!!! I'm a little concerned wondering if he's actually licensed to practice law Mimic — Yesterday at 11:12 PM apparently this is based on real life, and he was really good at saying and doing shit that no one immediately questioned thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:13 PM Did he not prepare for this at all? Did he?  Did he, though? highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:14 PM No more than he's prepared for anything else in his life. Ever. At all. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:16 PM Pro tip: you are not invincible highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:16 PM You are going to end up back in prison and sacrifice your charming little life with your adorable little mate. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:17 PM facepalm Ohgod highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:17 PM Oh no. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:18 PM I mean.  This is presumably a high-paying job already.  He wouldn't need to use it to steal.  But he won't be able to resist. "Now, I may not be a big city lawyer, but" awwww :frowning: highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:23 PM Well, that was adorable while it lasted. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:24 PM ......... highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:24 PM You show off your adorable, blue eyed, candy-wrapper-hoarding partner immediately. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:25 PM You got a golf club.  You can just, y'know.  mimes swinging Mimic — Yesterday at 11:25 PM no one has to know. even if you have a witness, you don't need to reload a golf club thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:26 PM He just can't resist, can he. highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:27 PM I suspect he physically can't. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:28 PM "Well, I know who's been reading this" highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:28 PM HINT HINT. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:29 PM Oof. Guy's got a good eye. "Dear god, please let me get away with this financial crime, amen" Yeah, quitting like that isn't suspicious at ALL "somewhere without extradition" highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:32 PM Hah! thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:33 PM It's hard to look guiltier than this! :frowning: highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:35 PM Did this actually happen? thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:36 PM Uh oh. Mimic — Yesterday at 11:36 PM looks like. I'm sure someone has an accurate blow by blow of what did and didn't happen highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:36 PM Oh, apparently it did. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:37 PM I guess they learned. Oh my god. ... They didn't, uh, notice that nobody dressed like that had come in? Mimic — Yesterday at 11:42 PM apparently not apparently a lot of the people who encountered this man did not bother to verify his claims before taking him at his word. after, sure, that's how he got sentenced. but not before. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:44 PM facepalm Oh noooo highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:44 PM Ouch. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:47 PM Oh, man. Imagine how that conversation would go.  "no, really, I'm really dying this time" Mimic — Yesterday at 11:50 PM you know when he said he had aids, apparently it would have fallen apart if anyone had checked to see if he actually had it thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:50 PM Wait, so the bit with the doctor didnt' happen? Mimic — Yesterday at 11:52 PM apparently he managed to convince them without any tests to confirm the actual presence of aids. In real life. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:52 PM For god's sake Mimic — Yesterday at 11:53 PM also, every escape method he used in this movie actually happened, and they even cut a few equally audacious ones out thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:53 PM "should I be happy that he faked it, or extremely pissed" That was... fast?? Wasn't he just walking by in the hall a few minutes ago? highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:56 PM Dear sweet Unicron. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:57 PM Wait, but didn't he say before that he never saw him again? highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:58 PM He also said he had AIDS. thenightetc2 — Yesterday at 11:58 PM "You are pretending to be a lawyer RIGHT NOW" "And you're going to have to use a fake identity to avoid going back to prison" highglossfinish — Yesterday at 11:59 PM "Can you at least con me out of prison since you're the reason I'm back in here in the first place?" thenightetc2 — Today at 12:00 AM facepalm highglossfinish — Today at 12:00 AM Oh, well, so much for that. thenightetc2 — Today at 12:01 AM Well, that's a downer ending. I mean, you kind of can guess ahead of time, since they made a movie about it Mimic — Today at 12:02 AM hey, so, fun fact, according to wikipedia, he got caught because a former colleague of his was attending jury duty on Phillip's case and instantly recognized him highglossfinish — Today at 12:02 AM You can't make this up. Mimic — Today at 12:03 AM I assume they had to cut that because it was already ridiculously coincidental that the prosecutor on his case was the sister in law of his former boss highglossfinish — Today at 12:03 AM I think they left it in. I thought that was the point of them staring intensely at each other. Mimic — Today at 12:04 AM ah, that makes sense. ... still pretty ridiculous thenightetc2 — Today at 12:04 AM Yeah. highglossfinish — Today at 12:07 AM Any suggestions to close on? thenightetc2 — Today at 12:07 AM Hmmm, let me see Mimic — Today at 12:08 AM did we ever watch What's That Name 2 with Norman the Doorman (snl sketch) Sharpwing — Today at 12:08 AM Literally slept through the movie akdjjajfjsd but https://youtu.be/v2hjeC_PoYw YouTube The Slow Mo Guys 1000 Paint-Covered Mousetraps in 4K Slow Motion - The Slow Mo Guys
Mimic — Today at 12:09 AM oh nice! thenightetc2 — Today at 12:09 AM Hooooo boy. hooooooooo boy. Mimic — Today at 12:11 AM John Mulaney wrote this thing. I thnik he was trying to find catharsis from something thenightetc2 — Today at 12:11 AM Eeyore. Pffff Do not. Oh god. OH GOD I've got one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-l66CwV4bU YouTube Saturday Night Live The Hunch Bunch - SNL
Oooo. :eyes: "castles are full of these, shut up" highglossfinish — Today at 12:18 AM Amazing. That seems like a fitting place to wrap it up for tonight. thenightetc2 — Today at 12:19 AM That really was a good movie. Thank you for sharing it with us! Sharpwing — Today at 12:19 AM See you guys next week, then! :blush::two_hearts: Mimic — Today at 12:19 AM yes! and Ihave a new con man to read up on. good night! thenightetc2 — Today at 12:20 AM Goodnight!
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